Weekend Update: Trump Claims Biden Is on Cocaine, Earthquake Rattles Northeast - SNL
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- Опубликовано: 5 апр 2024
- Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week's biggest news, like the women's NCAA Final Four matchup of Iowa vs. UConn becoming the most-viewed women's basketball game with 14.2 million viewers.
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Приколы
A chaotic nightmare that turns you against your own family.
That one got me.
Yup and just as families are mending, it’s about to happen again lol. 🤦♀️😩
yes it did. boomer
Missed an opportunity, if you know what I mean
I don't see anything more chostic than the state if the world right now Brin of world war isreal bidens world is real chaotic
I loved it
Cicada joke is underrated 💯🤣🤣🤣
They beat the MAGAs to it.
@@gj8683 Except for MAGAs it probably wouldn't be a joke but something they really do blame Biden for like everything else that ever happened anywhere to anybody. :P
Just wait, MTG will be screeching about it being "a sign from God".
Very well delivered too
@@maxdogrEmptyG: "Biden is letting in millions of illegal Cicanadians."
The city of Detroit is waiting for them as they cross the Ambassador Bridge. Bussing them to Texas and Florida.
And Alabama. Because it's Alabama.
"A chaotic nightmare that turns you against your own family." Boy, how I can relate to that statement!!!
❤ We are your family now. Hopefully, that idea isn't too terrifying 🙏
That sounded like one that came right from home from Colin lol
@@TheNovemberRoseI like this family.
Please keep “Weekend update” going through the summer. We are really going to need the laughs….
kind of disappointed with the rest of SNL this season but Weekend update always is good
Seriously? Wow, ya cant find anything to laugh at except trump ? U have serious issues! Bet it sucks to have so much hate! Wow!
@@user-tg2fg9ry1s I forgot, all they talk about is Trump, they don’t cover the news.
check out Seth Meyers
he doing the same shit 4 days a week
@@user-tg2fg9ry1snobody said that. Relax.
Think of all the unnamed sewage treatment plants waiting for some love. 😂
Sewage production plants...
John Oliver could use the company.
Anyone else think Halloween Mandela looks like Christopher Walken?
hey now you don't gotta do Walken like that. :P
If I had a dime every time Donald Trump projected his own behavior on others I'd be able to pay his civil judgments...
Yup. Any time he accuses others, he's actually confessing to it.
@@adamf663 Yep. And anytime anyone asks him about something nefarious he hasn't done yet, he sees it as a new idea of what to do.
@@adamf663 Maybe Trump was just trying to be a good Christian and intervene so Biden doesn't end up in adult diapers like him due to his use of nose candy, everyone always thinks the worst of Trump.
@@adamf663Same with all MAGA Republicans. Every accusation is an admission of guilt
@@samsepiol05590 The ignorance and stupidity of the magats has made me wonder if there a bioweapon involved. Look up any "are you in a cult" questionnaire and they score no less than 70%.
Jost and Che are unbeatable as the Weekend Update hosts.
Okay, the Ash Wednesday joke took me off guard, and it was spot-on!
get it!? spot on!? (your forehead) #nevermind
It was a good one. 😂
Your pun was better
I was so confused my first Ash Wednesday in Manhattan, so many dirty foreheads 🤷🏼♂️
I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard at such a tame joke
That Bridge fixer joke was lit😂
I'm from Baltimore and I so laughed so hard, I would've spit out my drink if I was drinking one!! Hahahaha
@@utubefreshie
I love your town
❤
Just to be clear that UCONN vs IOWA game had more viewers than every NBA game
Every MLB game last year
Every NCAA men's or women's basketball game
Every CFB game except 1
Every MLS game
Pst... it was a joke.
Wow, the CFB and NBA ones are shocking
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a chaotic nightmare that turns you against your own family-that is BRILLIANT -
You beat me to it thanks
I love that TFG’s podium says “anytime, anywhere, anyplace.”
You do know that anywhere and anyplace mean the same thing?!?
That is so incompetently funny
The 3 words sounded better than just 2...
Of course, if Biden actually accepted the challenge, the Tangerine Toddler would make some excuse as to why he couldn't make it.
It was the 1980s advertising slogan for Martini
loved the airport joke 😂😂😂
Isn't Nelson Mandela the modern day Nelson Mandela?
No, he passed away in 2013.
@@robertfaler1947 Still, that's the 21st century. It's modern day. He should have compared himself to someone a little farther back in history. Someone like Benito Mussolini, Joseph Stalin or Mao Zedong.
Yes. And Donald is the modern day Bozo the Clown.
@@robertfaler1947ah yes 2013 ....ye olden times.
Fun Fact: As a response to the GOP tryna rename the airport after Trump, Democrats have introduced a bill to rename a federal prison after Trump.
😂oh man I hope this is for real.
@@ThestuffthatSaralikes It is...
Three Democratic congressmen unveiled legislation Friday to rename a federal prison in Miami after former President Donald Trump.
The Democrats' bill would rename the Miami Federal Correctional Institution in Florida the "Donald J. Trump Federal Correctional Institution."
“When our Republican colleagues introduced their bill to rename Dulles after Donald Trump, I said the more fitting option would be to rename a federal prison,” Connolly said in a statement. “I hope our Republican friends will join us in bestowing upon Donald J. Trump the only honor he truly deserves.”
NBC News---4/6/2024
Because this is how infantile both sides have become. I wonder how many taxpayer hours were wasted on creating those bills? As if we don't have anything more important to be working on. Get back to the business of serving the people.
@@elizabethwitt2621 Thinking these actions are equivalent is misguided… these are different/precarious times. GOP has blocked funding that is in our national security interest and would save Ukrainian AND US lives while conspiring with Russian operatives to impeach Biden.
I don't want to see tRump name on any building. The more we don't hear about him its better for the world
Always enjoy the weekend updates, hilarious... Thank you gentlemen for the laughs.
Weekend Update remains the funniest part of SNL enjoyed the roller coaster joke
It's the ONLY part of SNL worth watching.
@@jamesryan4618 So true.. they may as well reinvent toonces the driving cat & give him dialogue at this point.. might be funnier then what the rest of the show is... they need to add Kel to the damn show & let them dudes do what they do or something..
No wonder Governor DeSantis tried to cancel Disneyland.
@@vidmasterK1 He didn't, Disney has been in self destruct mode for years.
@@jamesryan4618 how so? Seems like they're still going very strong, my dude
The cicada and bridge jokes were perfect 😂
A chaotic nightmare that tuens you against your own family 😂
Instead of naming an airport after Benedict Donald, a prison should get renamed after him.
Would be better if they name it after Jack Smith....cause he will be the one that puts him there
True, but Jost's punchline to that joke is an apt description of both.
Or Donald J. Trump Landfill.
@@me___5796 you win the internet today.
Democrats have already introduced the bill.
We should name a Revolutionary War airport after Trump. 😂
And the Civil War.
@@kathimeci5179 It’s a reference to a speech he made, where he spoke about our Revolutionary War airports.
😂😂😂
Don't forget, Captain Bone Spurs (AKA: DJT) was never able to serve due to his...bone spurs. That, and his daddy's large sums of money!!!
Lmao lost it at the photoshopped Halloween bit😂😂😂
Che's women's basketball joke was almost identical to Norm's, "The next time I watch a WNBA game will be the first time I watch a WNBA game."
Norm was the best!
So they both suck then
Same subject but…. If that’s the quote….. how is that identical?
Yes, Che's jokes on women are generally lazy.
Watch it!!!! You'll piss of the libbies!!!!!!! Now say it with us, "Norm was an asshole and Michael is an icon!!!!!!"
Washington Dullard Airport. Has a nice ring to it.
He did kind of bankrupt an airline - Trump Air. It was a shuttle service going from NY to DC and NY to Boston. He thought that shuttle passengers would pay more to fly in luxury. Shows you how much he knows about the common man.
"Washington Dotard Airport!"
@@zbagz01 He bought a no-frills short-hall airline "Eastern Air" paying $365 million for aircrafts and landing slots. He borrowed $380 million in loans from a consortium of banks with as little as $20 million of his own money invested. Tried to turn the airline into a luxury one but not enough people wanted to pay luxury price for a 45-minute flight to Boston or DC and the business failed. As usual, he defaulted on the loan, the banks took over and sold it off. Such a business genius!
Rollercoasters??? What a clever idea! Why didn't I think of that? lol!
It didn't work for Kimmy Schmidt's mom. 🙃
Or George Lopez’s mom
Well Ron DeSanctimonious did. That's why he was going after Disney so hard
I would pay to watch Trump and RFK Jr. In a presidential debate to prove who is crazier
Put Joe in to see who is the dumbest
That is his only accomplishment.
Friendly reminder that Donald had that sniffing issue in 2016 and white stuff came out of his nose during a debate.
Dude that was what was left of his brain not cocaine.
I’ve watched every debate in 2016 and I do NOT remember that
Supposedly Trump has never drank alcohol or done drugs in his entire life ..Trump junior knows a little bit tho .. 😂
@@tunnelvision24-ge8fq I believe the alcohol bit because his brother was an alcoholic when Donny was a kid, and he didn’t wanna be like that. drugs tho? What classifies as drug because he def does like adderall and some uppers
@@rooster1012 Trump is the only US president in last hundred years who actually worked to stop wars from happening. All others have genocides on their resume.
I’ve never been this early. Not even a minute
Ya, I'm single too lol.
See you in a minute - Colin’s wife
I come this early all the time...much to my girlfriends dismay
Thanks for sharing your show on youtube.
He should know Don Jr on the nose candy
DullesT Airport....
😂😂
Over 50% out loud laughs from me, well done lads! 👌😄👍
Donald Trumps projection is off the charts
Another butt hurt cult member?
After spending a full day in the hospital..this was just what I needed. Thank you guys for the laughs. I still love SNL after all these years!
That earthquake could have easily been Rosanne Barr falling out of her recliner.
According to the USGS the epicenter was in Bedminster, NJ.
@@johndavidwolf4239 Ivanna rising from the dead?
That’s so stupid, I couldn’t laugh.😅
it was just the universe pricing in Oprahs weight loss from using Ozempic
Mhm mhm force of nature rosanne barr....shell be back.
First off... those are "anchor" cicadas, they have been here for decades.
Love love this duo
Weekend update is all i look forward to in a week now 🙃
At $60 a pop, are Don Trump’s tickets to the eclipse sold out? Don’t know about you, but I’m impressed that he can summon the darkness.
He is the darkness
@@carolirvine3367He's definitely a total eclipse on reality.
Weekend update is always the best part of SNL michael che and colin jost are awesome 😅😅
My favorite segment
“And Biden just keeps lettin’ ‘em in.” LMAO
holy shit that was good. every punch line spot on had me cracking up. good work gentlemen
Even that earthquake can't shake the Mets into shape.
That earthquake hit a few miles from Trump's golf course. Probably because God was angry Trump was selling bibles. 💯 😂
Or Ivana was getting restless.
😮
Or cheating at golf AGAIN
@@zbagz01 Spinning in her tax deductible grave.
I think Ivanas ₱issed.
I have to take a big Trump. That's a name change I stand behind.
Insult to bowell movements.
@@adamf663 Yeah, considering I hear BMs smell better than Trump now.
@@adamf663 Hey, we british people had been using the word 'trump' to mean fart for years before Trump was even known. :P
I remember during the 2016 campaign Trump was all about "opening up the libel laws". Maybe he should waive the immunity that he enjoys in criticizing public figures?
I thought that... like postage stamps... public infrastructure could only be named after someone deceased. Is Trump volunteering to make himself eligible? It might be a small price...
Trump should know... All that snorting himself. Nose problems Donnie? Lmao 🤣
Ya. Remember when his open desk drawer was photographed showing almost a dozen Adderall packages?
I love the Trump joke, it never gets old.
Trump is a joke.
So is Biden.
They're both so old, their birth certificates were written in hieroglyphics.😂
@@janeentumbao8690 But only Biden will defend democracy
It never gets funny either. They actually paid someone to write that joke! That’s the punch line.😂
@@janeentumbao8690At least Trump is trying to be funny. Biden is just sad and pathetic and sees like he’s in life support. I’m praying for him.
@@martinbrenner6664 May I ask how the RICO case is him being funny? Please and thank you 😘
1:31 "Derp-bee-derp awwwww..." is my new favorite Trump quote! 😂
You'z kidz are sporty, I laughed sooo hard!🤠
This was a great WU so far
Not gonna lie that roller coaster joke could also be advice. Its messed up that we have reached a situation where that might be someones safest choice.
It's likely that abortion will be on the FL ballot this year and it will be a ban at 22 or 24 weeks. It's still working its way through the process but is looking like it will succeed and be added.
But it does make sense why Ron DeSantis was going so hard after Disney and trying to get rid of their park
@@vidmasterK1 oh god. I hope your wrong. Thats some movie supervillain shit...
2:59 I just nearly choked to death because I was laughing so hard, lol.
He already is a modern day Mandela. Every time I hear his name I wish I'd just hop to the next universe already.
Cicada, cicada
Linda Ronstadt, Canciones de mi Padre, 1987
The homeless will have nowhere to hide this summer when different types of locusts emerge
SNL was hilarious the whole show!.. well done
Perfect update, hitting on all cylinders, keep it up guys!😂
That women’s college basketball joke was very Norm Macdonald…. He’d have been happy with that. The punchline was the set up 🥲
We should rename toilets after him. “Man, I gotta take a dump. Where’s the Don at?”
"Just admit it, you thought it was wind." Yeah, I was 30 miles from it and I thought it was a tornado until I looked outside and it was sunny.
I lived in CA in the 80s. I remember my first 6+ earthquake, at night, and yelling at my housemates to keep it down I was trying to sleep."
Scarlett Johansson binge watches SNL most likely every night
After Tish James renames Trump Tower for Stormy Daniels, renaming Dulles would be a nice consolation prize
Can anyone help me find that clip of Trump talking, or at least trying to, about Saudi Arabia & Russia .. “baa do” 😂 please tell me how/where I can find it, so I can share it! Thank you!
An airport??? Every business with his name on it crashed and burned. Maybe not a good name for an airport🤷♂️
I needed this 🎯 What a short but powerful laughing therapy! 😅
More of this, please!
Thanks 🎃
lol this was a Good one..
the last three jokes were Zingers that made me laugh out loud on the train.. I said "Weekend update" lol they understood 😂😂😂
The Trump Jokes r f❤️❤️kin Hilarious 😂🤣
To be fair, Trump wouldn't be the first inept traitor to have a place named after him in the US.
Incidentally, the airport they are looking to name after him is already named after another 20th century traitor who rose to fame in the 80's
I’ll always remember the picture of -ump as Nelson Mandela for Halloween! Such a trigger!👏🤣🤣
Leave Dulles alone!!! 😫
- A Virginian
Ok I am not a big fan of political jokes but that "Biden is just letting them in" bit was delicious 😂
But the Trump ones, are a bit too much? Weird how that works, huh?
@@codymoe4986 this joke was on Biden's critics who blame him for everything, even for the cicadas invasion
Name an airport after him? How about the trash collection area - more appropriate!
A prison
airport joke on point
The bestest update in years!😂😂😂😂😂
Hittin’ both sides-love it.
That basketball “stat” was fantastic.
That's the 1st I've heard of the "Trump Airport". I wish that was the punchline. I sincerely do not understand WTF is wrong with the GOP🤯🤯
Dems immediately responded by suggesting his name should adorn the federal prison closest to MarALardo. 🤣
You spot it you got it 😂
These two are the highlight of my weekend! They always make me laugh!
Cicadas. Biden is just letting them.
Now, that's a next level joke!
😂😂😂😂😂😂 a chaotic nightmare that turns you against your own family. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
A chaotic nightmare that turns you against your own family. Funny because it's true.
SNL heatin back up w/ the lolz 🔥
Does the Trump campaign not know that "anywhere" and "anyplace" mean the same thing?
Benedict Donald doesn't. Why would his anal occupants know?
Trump runs that "Sour Grapes Offense"
Thank for playing the ending song for more than 3 seconds last night!
2:16 surprised they didn’t do a blackface joke
The bad orange tan isn't enough?
no because that would actually be funny
And Marcello as EarthQuake
The last one was just killer!
I love how they poke fun at the truth, regardless of your political affiliation. I have been through Dulles once many lifetimes ago, it was fine! Long layover or something. But I know many people who hate Dulles so it seems fitting for Trump.
I wish y'all would just post the entire segment in one video.
They will in 3 days or so..... but im with you.
LMFAO @ "...And Biden is just lettin' 'em in!"
I want to see Trump & Biden walk just 1 mile & see if they can do so without falling down or needing someone to lean on. I have a feeling Biden can do it, but I doubt Trump could do it.
Indeed. Biden actually exercises.
How am I this earlu
By not proofreading
1:46 This joke is underrated.
2:55 well timed lol
Colin ,and che never miss great weekend update as always.
More projection from Trump. He just can't help himself. 😅
Spot on...