Let's Talk About Sex: The Reality of the Sexual Pleasure Disparity | Grace Wetzel | TEDxStLawrenceU
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- Опубликовано: 1 апр 2018
- The claim that the female orgasm is just as natural and should be just as expected as the male orgasm is a controversial one, because society conditions us to regard the female orgasm as something extra. Grace Wetzel, a junior at St. Lawrence University, explains the phenomenon known as the orgasm gap and explores the straight woman's sexual experience. Grace Wetzel is a junior at St. Lawrence University with a Psychology major, a Biology Minor, and a Gender & Sexuality Studies Minor. She is a member of the ODK Leadership Honor Society and of Psi Chi, the Honor Society in Psychology. She is a member of two dance groups on campus, Dance Ensemble and Graceful Movements, and is a house member of the Women's Resource Center. Grace has a passion for intersectional feminism and social justice. Her long-term dream is to change the stigmas and inequalities surrounding the female sexual experience. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
When you're single and still watch this.
Lol 😂
Glad to know I'm not alone
I feel attacked 😅🤦♂️
So you guys are single?
@@mubangachisha3041 why?
One moment of silence for those who came with their parents to this tedx without knowing topic
lol
See, that's the problem.
@@amrt7755 you are samjhdaar👍
😂😂😂😂 Khatam
@@danial3192 finish😂 satyaanaas hui gayo
Singles give attendance here
😁
😛😛
Yho, the silence in this room was of another level.
IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO DO CLAPPING WITH ONE HAND
The reason people are quiet is because They are so so focused in taking mental notes
Exactly, like what's the point of this
ARE you from south africa
I'm going to single handedly fix this problem.
Till when ??
😂
Lol
you might want to use both buddy
Nice one lol
I AM an 89 year old Granny and by golly never in my Life did I ever believe Woman would finally Hear THE TRUTH…OMG SO GRATEFUL…ALL WOMAN SHOULD HEAR THIS…I MEAN ALL …I SO APPRECIATE THIS VALUABLE INFORMATION…❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤.
This was much needed!
Thank you for opening up a conversation about it!
Ok RUclips, I've watched it. You happy?
you dog，me too
The first rule of fight club ...............
@@aadityaacharya5902 is you don't talk about fight club
@@kartikeyatiwari8661 you just talked about fight club
@@jayantchaudhary177
You just talked about them talking about fight club. Which is technically talking about fight club.
I wonder if this was all secretly directed at her boyfriend.
@ Infidel Heretic
I wonder if you watched this whole thing thinking "She's hot, what did she say?"
@Waterlec lol it probably was detected to her boyfriend lol. Good one.
@Waterlec The front row was empty. He must have got embarassed and fled the scene!
Kkkkkkk
Infidel Heretic I don’t perceive this girl as straight?
Talking about equality of pleasure is significant. I think the first barrier to get across this inequality is communication. Speak to your partner - your likes, your dislikes and all that make you feel happy and content. The act is for both to enjoy - that is what all of humanity does.
Hey, man, I'll do my best, but if she can't get there in 2.5 minutes, that's why Jesus invented vibrators.... 🥺
I don't have interest in the video but now since RUclips has recommended me 10 th time. The universe is wanting me to watch this video.
Nepali jasto xau ta
@@GutsXGriffith Haha without doubt
same
You know you got recommended this cuz you’re watching something similar to it. 😅
@@jonnymcgrath4816 no i watch ted talks sometimes that's why this got recommended to me
"Today, I'm gonna be talking to you about sex".
I'm genuinely surprised no one in the crowd yelled "YES!" after that bold statment
DISCLAIMER: I have no idea why this video was recommended to me. Honest.
Rayan A, they yelled inside their heads.
They recommended this to me also, Idk
Yeah...recommended to me also...lol...wtf!
😂😂
Lmao, same here 😥😥😥😐😐😐
Dear youtube, i am single,why am i being recommended this? Is universe sending me some type of signal?
Me too😂😂😂
😂😂
Yes
Depend upon your activity
Elon musk sent you the signal🤣
I think most of women fear to ask what they want while men always ask for it .
If this is recommended to you, there is high chance that you are single or long distance relationship 😂😂
No
How do you know.? 🙄 i am in long distance
Hahahhaa
How the f you know
long distance here
She makes a few good points, but there is one glaring issue with her assumptions.
Biology and evolution don't give a single, cross eyed, red headed damn about 'social constructs' and 'gender roles'. Men orgasm easier than women becuase if men don't orgasm, they don't reproduce. Women can reproduce without orgasm, so the selective pressure of orgasm is not a factor.
So yes, it's absolutely possible, and even probable, that women have a harder time reaching orgasm due to biology. But it's not that women are hard to bring to orgasm, but that it's so comparatively easy to bring a man to orgasm.
Want to get off more often? Tell your partner what you like and need. Help out, even. You're adults. Take responsibility for yourself.
Well said!
Rick Cutshall
Agree...
Cannot Agree more!
Rick Cutshall .. Disagree. The assumption that a guy's orgasm is easier than a girl's is a complete myth.
It's exactly the same time. Please listen to the video again.
Praneet Joshi TRUST me lady, it does NOT take a man 4 minutes. THAT is not science lmfao
Men are not mind readers, generally speaking, women need to speak up, and let men know what they want, different women like different things, I think most men would be happy to oblige!
Was rather insightful! It takes courage to talk about these topics upfront. Props to her for the lecture!
3:33 me in every presentation
That damn true for me too
😂
Is my girlfriend working at RUclips secretly? This was recommended to me!
Lmaoo the best comment ahahah
You just confessed something 😅😂😂😂
Gahaha
Oh, may be fit on this.
What she did really well in this talk, unlike many other equality discussions in today's day in age, is she was very open about saying that this wasn't all just because of men or a certain group of people. She did an excellent job in pointing out that as a collective society, men and women, we should change how we look at this issue not to take away the benefits that it already gives but rather add more benefits for the other party involved. Greatly worded and put together talk.
I didn’t see it like that.
It’s not ever been something I’ve thought about. If I’m there to have a good time, so is she and if the job doesn’t get done one way you step it up and do something else. To some how insist that there’s a systemic problem of men being lazy goes a bit far. It’s certainly not been my experience.
Most of the complaints come from having a bad partner or lack of experience.
Don't sleep around with randos that only care about themselves, that's a huge start.
That's how many equality discussions are
1st
2nd
When it comes to that pressure to have vaginally orgasm, believe me there is pressure on men to make that happen as well. If we are wanting to change societal expectations on women to have a vaginally orgasm we need to change the expectation on men to give her one. A man who fails to do so is typically viewed by society as not being much of a man, even by women.
"A man who fails to do so is viewed as not being much of a man" - who said that? Never heard of this before.
@0114mercury how many times have you heard a man bragging about "banging her so good she never came"? Or when was the last time you heard a woman talking about a guy "rocking her world so good she didn't get off at all"? The truth is you have probably never heard either of those things, and if you have you are definitely one of an astronomically infinitesimal number of people who have, like you and maybe enough others to count on one finger if that many. So, like I said, there is tremendous pressure on men to make it happen.
@@0114mercury r u kidding???? This is a historic standard. And a man who cant, it so looked down upon. Really?
I thought this was incredibly well presented. I was impressed by the arguments made for aiming for equity in pleasure shared, but also by her grammar. These days, it's ever more difficult to listen to anyone speak who doesn't say "like" 500 times, but this woman did the English language proud. Very eloquent, very articulate, and indeed I would agree that irrespective of the observable truth that it is easier in general for a man to reach orgasm than a woman, the intention to please each other should be equal to intention of taking pleasure. The tryst should not be wholly satisfying to a man who only cares about his own orgasm, and vice-versa.
Agree about the “like”
I thought this 10 day enjoy funny tests no tests u yes pleasure Inquiry
Not me,I never fake anymore!
The longer you live the more brave and stay true to yourself always! Just tell him! Lol.
IKR lol
You go girl! Be a part of the solution and not the problem.
Very well said and very well put . Extremely well delivered on a subject least talked about ,and least demanded by wemen.
Hats off to her for making the awareness of equality of this commodity for both sexes. Hurrah to her.
I have never been with a woman that didn't have at least one. Most have had many. My wife has no less that 5 on average. I know that I'm alittle different than most guys but it's just that I like to please and the thanks I get. She loves me I love her. It's a way to show her instead of telling her that I love her. And beleave me she shows me too. Good to see someone talk about this. Maybe things will get better for all. Peace to all .
Loved it. So true. So on point. And the confidence on stage is amazing to watch.
Hi
I'm so tired of hearing about how we're victims of ideas that exist. Take responsibility for your own life and fulfillment. It's not a competition, it's a collaboration. Collaborate with someone who's good to you and it's probably going to be good.
Couldn't say it any better
All she is saying is for people to be more aware of others, if you really care for a person this should be instinctive. Yes we should take responsibility for our own happiness, and like she said, a woman should feel empowered enough to ask, but the reality is, a lot of women feel awkward. We don't live in a perfect world, and it takes communication and a little bit of empathy to move in that direction
MrRedwingsfan16 or to hit the same idea from the other direction, buck up and stop thinking of yourself as a victim. It's incumbent upon you to pursue the happiness you desire. It's not incumbent upon others to provide it. But they might provide it if you ask.
Robert Johnson women dont get it.. Somehow they believe that men are mindreaders..
Robert Johnson that's a very good realization, but unfortunately not everyone's brain works the same way. That's why people like you that have realized that, can only do the best they can to help others realize that. Hence my point of empathy and awareness go a long way.
Why I am seeing this ? I don't even have a gf .
It will be helpful in the future.
@@notgayatall5454 Might Be. 😂
Just in case
to stay at safer side ; )
go get one
I don't know about anyone else, but for me, the woman's pleasure was always the main goal. They deserve all the pleasure we can give them.
Simp
Of course shes wrong
Simp
Simp
Simp
Its a matter of educating and listening each other.
People don’t quite understand when someone says “It’s hard to satisfy a woman”. I only ask them to watch this video - just once.
She actually quotet, that by themselves women and men need approx. equal time amount to reach orgasm. So what are you saying ?
@@fluttersheesh8884 I think he's agreeing and saying that he shows people this video to set them straight :')
Is there anyone single listening to this?
🤦♂️🤦♂️Here
let's make a group of singles 😂
😁
@@jessicaascano9381 true😂😂
Me I'm 16
I really appreciate that you gave us such knowledge.i had only moral and spiritual erspective about the gender equality but now you also gave me a scientific perspective
This lady is absolutely first class. She really is.
Hi Akira how are you
@@sajjadahmad9792Ola hu Uber
Bottom line ladies take control and tell your partner what you want. If he listens he is a wise guy.
Haha if the women take control of her man she will never have orgasm from him
@@hamzamoussaid4347 what?
They often don't so that's that.
It's not very easy to say what you want when everything in your life told you that you are not allowed to ask those things.
@@Nimrodel84
You must realize that it's your life your needs your body. You have the right to speak your mind. It is not sinful or wrong but it's your right.
Nice session of SEDx...😅
😂😂😂👍
Creativity level 💯🤣
@ABHISHEK AWASTHI Simp 😂🤣
She has put out all her anger to her husband in this presentation 😂
GODD
A lot of women are bad at saying what they like. For me, I always focus on the women having a good time too, because I don’t have a good time unless they do too.
Sir join MGTOW it's for the greater good for true sanity in this dysfunctional world.
I agree 👍 bro, best of luck 🤠🤞 to everyone, for better Fun
Wow, she's so eloquent. Loved the entire Ted talk. Very insightful 👏👏
It's a simple case of lack of communication & understanding of the the men & women involved.
Ramon Vargas pretty much
Or lack of concern by the male party
Sounds terrible, maybe you need to treat them better.
You said it! I don't see this as a Big social problem as she puts it, like if you and your partner communicate properly then this doesn't exist. I still find the talk interesting and very useful.
Jac Debaires I agree as long as everyone communicates and properly then things should be fine.
this video's especially recommanded to singles -youtube
😂😂😂
Nice one Johnny ..nice one 👌👌 😂😂
I hope it's ok to share, because more people need to hear this.
Thank you for this very educational talk Grace!
Teach your partner & offer positive yet constructive criticism so that you can help each other. Be vocal & if something isn't happening in real time be respectful to one another & let them know what's happening.
I’d be curious to see how Grace’s presentation evolves over the 40+ years. Hopefully she keeps her notes.
That's a voice that needs to be heard on repeat. Thank you.
Hi keyla
i would rather say it was a superb topic that was covered the important thing is Woman need to demand what makes her happy as men we do what makes us happy and ask her to do , if she will demand in relationship the realtionship will be more stronger
She's been dating the wrong men.
Jason G no doubt about it! 😉
Jason G she is not talking about herself. Have you missed all the statistics she mentioned?
She wasn’t talking about herself
then why do so much research and spend the time talking like this,, some how someway her wrong men affected her...
Frustrations u know
In my opinion, my girlfriend's pleasure is more important than mine. without her, I don't get the pleasure.
Beautiful, brave and benevolent. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 Good
👍
On ya
That's what a hero do
Simp
How many teenager are there like me😁.
Chup reh
Ni oru kundan thenne
I am amazed at the way how she presents on this topic!
Just amazing
Nothing to do with content random rant warning - this college is in the middle of NOWHERE! I used to do their audit when I worked with PWC in the 00s. I spent my entire month of August in this empty college town for four years - needless to say myself and my team spent a great deal of time all alone in the bar at the Best Western. I do not miss you St. Lawerence University. I really needed to get this out I’m sorry everyone.
M...
Eomrning
Thanks for the clear explanation .
From this I got to what it is? and why it is?
Really apprecitable step , we must accept the reality and support to the upcoming generation 👍👍
An artist must not imitate but get inspired to inspire others.
Asking for what you want is a great way to get it. :)
First 3 minutes sounded like a lawyer's disclaimer
yes
True
Sadly you pretty much have to do this before you speak about pretty much anything nowadays..
@@dzfattnutz woke, cancelled, social justice, yadda yadda...
She didn't want to be attacked by the lgbt community
I need these types of students(Audience) when i teach about reporoductive system
this topic is not discussed much but it is very very important. thanks for speaking up on this. i really learned a lot today.
I believe the disparity lies in communication. As she stated women don't tend to be as vocal about what they want/need to achieve orgasm. While she only provided the side that made the woman out to be the victim (saying they believe it to be an inconvenience, so they don't say anything), she failed to mention a lack of willingness to aid. It's a scenario where either the man is expected to KNOW how to please a woman or just doesn't at all. There are men who don't know and are willing to learn, and there are women who are NOT willing to teach. Obviously, from one side it's hard to view things from the other side. If your partner isn't satisfying you (whether it be long term partner or hookup) HELP THEM satisfy you. TELL THEM what you like. If your desires aren't being met, find someone who will try to meet them.
J.D. Brown that’s literally what she said lol that men and women BOTH need to communicate more. Did you even watch this video?
J.D. Brown I completely agree!!
Women don’t communicate out of fear.. when a woman communicates the man will typically take it as an ego blowing criticism and then his “performance” will suffer. We’ve been taught not only to please men to the point of faking orgasms but to the point where we fear repercussions for expressing our needs.
Are men vocal enough as to express their needs?
@@20to1devotchka absolutely correct. Men NEED and crave respect, not love, as women do. So, criticism does nothing to enhance the relationship. I know this to be true, but, I don't know how to fix the problem.
3:36 That was weird. Did she sneeze or something? It appeared to me as if she was laughing for a second
Because No One is Laughing or Cheering. She feels awkward bcoz no one is giving any sign of emotion.
she had an orgasm
@@ivanbreak
Thank you kind sir. For making me laugh.
She forgot what she was about to say
@@hondedtij6761 Agreed. She panicked on stage for a split second before recovering gracefully.
This was so well thought and spoken, not everyone likes to talk on these subjects but she did and she did it quite well, hats off to her and I hope she or other speakers will come up with more videos like this 🙌🏼🙌🏼
ur such a wise lady... saving pples relationships.enlighting pples future...
I really appreciate you..
may u be rewarded with thenks ,love and peace
I like how everyone is so silent.
Yaaa i love that
*LGBTQ HAS LEFT THE CHAT*
You forgot 50 extra letters.
You forgot to add the I and A. 😂
It's LGBTQABCDEFHIJKMNOPRSUVWXYZ
James Jucutan Keyboard smash doesn't get you anywhere. Just say LGBT+, done.
LGBTQIA+ for long. Tadaaaa, magic.
@@lelexoxo303 it's not keyboard smash..it's alphabetical
I don't know why Google recommended me this even when it knows that I'm single
hmm bhai same
This young woman is very brave! God Bless her.
three words, stamina excitement and the "magic touch" finding the fulfillment satisfaction point.
I'm just here because I'm looking for my pet garry, anyone see him?
Yeah, I found him in this video suprisingly at 9:11
Spongebob, It has been one year you wrote this comment, I'm worried, have you found your Garry? Lemme know, Thanks.
Hes in the third row and he said this was his problem for a long time coz you were negecting his needs. 🤣
He’s under a rock
Did you find it mate?
I'm waiting for my game to be updated whilst watching this , Wohooo
CHAD😂
Summary::
She was just again talking about equality.....
She reminded me of the young girl in “ The Incredibles” movie. 🤗🤗
Violet. Oddly enough, her parents first super suits were red and blue... which makes violet.
Haha 😂
@@thomaswhite4231 hey Googleqqaqa~~￦
Damn bro! That's right
Hahahaha
it's so sad that the majority of the comment section is literaly from guys that should've learned something from the talk but didn't give a f
Im trying to understand it because i think shes making good points.
Maybe you're wrong
Their takeaway: women better let us know
Real takeaway: men should be making orgasm an equal priority and some women won't ask because they don't feel comfortable.
We need more discussions like this 🔥
yes!
Absolutely yes.. Where from u
And, possinly, practice and laboratory works? )
Wah re wahhh!!!
🤪😜
Yeah absolutely we're educating ourselves and driven by passion for learning new ideas and deep diving into it ...🤝
@@peerzadaraies4028 india from she .
Your explanation is so good and open minded. Love it👍👍👍
This is so true. The focus and expectation is that men feel good, and many men are unwilling to put enough effort into learning what gives women true pleasure. Because oftentimes when women feel good, this isn’t as physically stimulating to men. And since women are mostly willing to accept this pleasure disparity, this just renforces the norm.
Your are right dear
With my Peter Griffin's voice "Go on..."
LoFi Hiphop Channel With my Quagmire voice "giggidy giggidy giggidy".
I approve of this message.
Hahahaha right. I wish she put her email up.
LOL
Bravo! Love this topic and the wonderful approach to tackling it. For me, my life partner's pleasure and her feeling safe is always the highest priority. The only small thing that didn't get addressed is men that feel embarrassed or ashamed when their female partner does not have an orgasm.. As she talked about, to me this may highlight the need for open and vulnerable communication as a key piece of orgasms for all - i.e. being able to openly tell your partner your needs and carefully listen to theirs.
Mark, truly enjoyed your commentary re this Ted Talk. Agree as well that there should be open and honest communication between partners without judgment, disdain or disrespect.
I was fortunate enough to have a boyfriend many, many years ago a truly great listener when it came to all things in our relationship. My only regret was it only lasted 2 years. He was offered a teaching position in the UK he could not pass up. He had many great ideas, thoughts etc. that we discussed on this very subject before we were intimately involved with one another. I can remember the conversation as though it happened yesterday.
The 1st thing he asked was," What did I like in a man?" I was at first surprised by this, confused by this, because no one had ever asked me before.
My 1st answer to him was a man that goes out of his was to make me feel safe.
2nd was a man that goes out of his way to make me feel special.
3rd was a man that was attentive.
4th was a man that was very thoughtful.
5th a man that was filled with chivalry.
I got all of the above and so very much more with this amazing man. And my now partner (of 15 +) years does the same.
I haven’t been able to orgasm in over a year . I don’t know what to do - nothing I do seems to bring me pleasure or comfort . I cant be physically intimate because it causes me aching and pain in my head
@@martinamitchell7612
Sorry to bother you
I just want to ask, about your past boyfriend, it seems you loved him very much, you said your regret is that it didn't last more than two years, so, would you have liked to stay with him till now if you had the chance?
@@MA-gu2up Yes
@@martinamitchell7612
Okay, so will you leave your current boyfriend for him?
And if you love him this much, why didn't you try to pursue the continuation of the relationship with him?
I think there is a big difference between "taboo" subjects and private subjects. Just because something is not likely to be discussed in plain public, it doesn't automatically mean, that it's a taboo per se.
Good talk but it would be better if she prepared visuals of what she was talking.
thats what she said
Love this comment
I know, what you did there ;)
U need a manual well ur partner is the manual listen and explore together she knows what she wants just read the signs just like treasure hunt hot and cold
Doodle Master watch it on cornhub
the audience is so dead..I could literally imagine the audience just staring at me with no interactions ,no laughs and nothing .If it would have been me ..I'd literally die out of those glares from people
That's what you call emotional attention, cause it's all about equality!
See, because of the subject matter the presenter was talking about, Kirti expected, very incorrectly, to see the audience breathing faster (as not “so dead”) with lots of moaning😧
yeah how are you?
They are relating the talk to themselves 😁
Yeah
It’s sad that so many men don’t know that the greatest pleasure is giving pleasure.
Ja na I couldn't agree with more on that!
Lmao spoken by a man I'd bet a million dollars is circumcised
Good to listen about being open minded and everyone need to be real n practical . Knowledgable speech.😊
So I am basically collecting theoretical knowledge before practical... 💘💘💘
lol
lol
😂😂😂😂
Nothing wrong with that
0:24 How did she not laugh at that pun in front of all those people?
I’m wondering why the audience didn’t laugh? 😂
Spot on! This should be required training in high school.
Excellent! Well said. We need more people to talk about this subject! Thank you
Yes ur right
Haha. . .my girlfriend stood up really tall and TOLD me. There’s something more you’re going to have to do down there. . .
Hahahah she is just awsome
Hahahah she is just awsome
Hahahah she is just awesome
Hahahah she is just awesome
Hahahah she is just awsome
The issue lies largely in what Grace just briefly mentioned, letting yourself go. Women need to understand their own body and their own needs. What makes you feel good. It is also a fact that a lot less women have tried masturbation compared to same age groups as men. Explore yourself! And in the end, it boils down to communication. If you don't even know what makes you feel good or what makes your peak, then how on earth can you communicate it to your partner, let alone expect that partner knows better than you do.
I dont care what shes talking about but I like the way she's explain.
Simp
it was a good discussion, i would like to point just one thing. Men and women are one species not two different. Men and women are equal. These differences of gender, colour, country are just mental boundaries existentially they do not exist. we need to treat everyone equally whether it's Men , Women or any other life form. We all are equal, we all are life, we all are conciousness. Down with all the differences.
You r so brave, thank you sharing information🙌
Some of the comments here are just weird. Reality has always been hard to intake anyways so i am not surprised😒
maryam muazu I’m just as surprised
frustrated males they are...
THERE IS NO WORD "ANYWAYS." IT'S ANYWAY. NO S.
I agree
Salute for those who came to attend show with parents without knowing topic 😂😂
Married Man here, I RING HER BELL SO HARD, I AM SUPRISED THE NEIGHBORS HAVEN'T COMPLAINED ABOUT THE NOISE.
This can be summed up by the movie "Chasing Amy."
''...COMING OVER THE NEXT FEW MINUTES''
was that no pun intended?
Bruh exactly what I thought
Exactly I thought of that as a pun straight away ha ha!
It was but she noticed that the audience was hella dry and silent
A must watch video for everyone the day they turn 18 🙏
Too late
We aware and use our knowledge for good will