Demanding Respect? | Doug Wilson
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- Опубликовано: 14 май 2021
- In this video, Pastor Doug Wilson explains what meant when he said, "Few forms of behavior are less respectable than that of demanding to be respected." What role does respect play in biblical marriage?
Check out Doug's book, "How to Exasperate Your Wife" today!
canonpress.com/exasperate/
This video is presented by Canon Press.
One way I've heard it phrased: Don't demand respect; behave in a way that commands respect.
But you can't command it according to this.
@@elib9002 what do you mean? Could you clarify? From what I heard, it sounds like Michael's phrase is synonymous with what Wilson said.
Yes. Just important to be clear that the "behaving" part doesn't just mean washing the dishes and date nights but also cutting off her social media accounts and disciplining her. He hasn't yet addressed what happens when she violently destroys you in the family courts. It's the elephant in the room he won't address-- how the church has totally normalized women committing violence against their husbands through the courts.
@@vviswanabecause commanding is demanding. They are synomynus. So if you cannot demand, you cannot command. The issue is that, yes you need to act in such a way that commands respect, but that respect is not simply required by action. Ot is demanded from the indavidual that is performing in said way to command respect. The issue is that without the demand there can be no command.
@@elib9002 "command" isn't meant literally here. They are saying to behave in a way that people won't be able to resist respecting you.
The Wilson clan is the best I’ve seen on the home
Agreed
Perfect explanation that is universally true.
Great insight as always Mr. Wilson
In my own words: Expect but do not demand respect. That’s good!
Good stuff!
Pastor Doug, this was a very helpful titbit. I am struggling with a wife, who seems to intellectually agree with the authority of a husband, but her heart is far far from it. She is rebellious. Would you please consider creating more content with practical applications, for what men should do when they find themselves in these circumstances?
This is very common in Confucian customs based on rank and age and family roles.
Interesting.
The massive problem with this oversimplification is the multitude of husbands that ARE sacrificing themselves responsibly for their wives and still receive no submission from them.
What is the husband to do then? After say, a decade of humble service to his wife, yet with no submission in return?
Check out Doug's book, "How to Exasperate Your Wife" today!
canonpress.com/exasperate/
what would we think about a woman demanding love? IOW does this work both ways?
A husband has every right to expect his wife to respect and submit to him, as well as do her role otherwise. That comes with marriage, and she chose to do that when she chose to marry him. In short, she needs to respect him, and the husband can demand that respect. It's a part of her job.
Meme;
Demanding respect / no!Commanding respect / yes!
as has been said a true king doesn't have to say it
My dad always said “I don’t ask for respect, I demand it.” I try to honor him as my father, but he is a man who has rarely done anything worthy of respect.
You have to earn respect in any circle of people or friends, why would your marriage be any different?
Because pastors seem to have forgotten that a woman is an intelligent creature. A well respected boss is one that doesn’t know everything but has your back at all times. That to me is a great husband. That is not taught in churches.
I don't think that pastors forget that women are intelligent creatures. I think pastors aren't letting either gender off the hook. You can't control your husband or your wife but you can control yourself and fulfill your responsibilty in the marriage. That's all God asks. Your husband or wife may be completely unlovable and unrespectable but that doesn't mean you don't have to follow those commandments.
@Christa I. A covenant and respect are two different things. Wedding vows are a whole different animal. However, there are exceptions. Johnathan and King David were best buds, and they made a vow to loyalty and friendship.
Partially true. My wife and I just had this conversation and I sum it up as such "honor is given, respect is earned." The problem is that no one gives honor any more. And technically, today, they are the same. So no. Today you do not earn respect. Respect is to be given despite what someone does or says. You respect position and power. The woman is to honor and respect her husband. Regardless of who he is or what he does. He is her husband and is to be respected. Ladies don't have a choice. Same with power. The president may be an incapable old fool, but that doesnt mean I don't respect and honor him. He is the leader of my people, I don't have a choice.
@@elib9002 Not in the Marine Corps. You earn respect and are honored for it. Without respect, you have no honor. Semper Fi!
"No hanky-panky for you tonight, Douggy", says the wife.
Doug goes to work a night shift.
Great job, Doug. You just conditioned your wife to expect more work from you when she doesn't "respect" you.
OK BOOMER.
WHEN WILL YOU TALK WITH ROLLO TOMASSI?
Only given what you have said on respect before can I even partially agree with you.
It is entirely within a bosses and or husbands right and power to demand respect and honor. Otherwise we dont have to honor God. And he is wrong to cast us into hell because of dishonoring and disrespecting him.
You are completely wrong on this point. The only reason someone can day something like this is because of egalitarianism and wamans feelings being hurt.
You married?
@@calebgeary3890 yes, but that doesn't matter. The point remains. If it is wrong to demand respect from a position deserving respect, then God is wrong. Period. There is no other discussion. So, either we are completely wrong, or God is. If a king is disrespected, what happens?
I think generally speaking he is right, but today's generation is different than his. If you, as a husband, fulfill your role biblically and you still are not getting the respect that is deserved, then I think you need to go to the scriptures and demand that respect.
@@elib9002 I'll say this. While Scripture is full of "I am the LORD" after God gives an imperative, many millions of believers are moved to submit to Christ out of a sheer love for him. You are correct in saying that we should obey because of roles, I don't want to disregard that. But rarely am I coerced to follow Jesus just because he is supreme over all creation. I am coerced through being moved in the depths of my soul by his sacrificial love atoning for my wretched sins, his Spirit abiding within me, comforting me through pain and suffering, and watching him turn broken men into people after his own heart. But we are sinners, and there are times that we definitely need the good ol' "because I said so", however, in a godly marriage those definitely should not be the norm. If it is, it's either because A) the wife is just wholly insubordinate to the leading of the husband or B) the husband is doing exactly what Doug is talking about, and being domineering rather than serving.
I have been tempted myself to use my authority on my wife to get her to submit. But I also realize in those moments I am more bitter and angry than anything. When I opt to be patient with her sin as God is with mine, and when the Spirit convicts her, she desires to submit to my leading even more, because of the grace I showed her.
Just some food for thought. You have a point, but maybe don't throw Doug in the Egalitarian camp.
@@calebgeary3890 I must whole heartedly agree with you here. That is maybe the point I was trying to say, yet maybe not so cleanly. I would never toss Doug into that camp, he is clearly against it and I am so thankful for his lessons. That is why I made note of his previous mentions of honor and respect. But this clip by itself is dangerous in the sense that it allows for the notion that all respect must be earned and that you cannot punish or demand proper respect. This is wrong and needs to be made clear. Every army knows this. In the military honor/respect is demanded, not asked for. Of it isnt given then punishment is dished out. This is very much the was we need to understand it. I understand that culture is very anti honor and anti respect, but we should not just through it out. I agree whole heartedly about our wives. A gentle love and firmness is crucial. Otherwise it may be hard to live with them hahaha. Regardless, they are so precious and I am so thankful.
Vocal Black Face? Cultural Appropriation? Did I culturally appropriate my grandchildren of color? Can't get no respect singing soul and gospel just years of hatred. Feed on disrespect and prosper in spite of it, can't demand anything that has to be earned. Stay the course...
Dug, this is your all time greatest video! It is so wrought with beautiful irony. Someone demanding respect (love, worship, belief in, etc.), do you realize that you just described the god of the bible? Someone who says they are jealous, sure would like more respect.
Dug, you are complete. You don't need to create any more vids.
Even more irony, it's actually good advice! Too bad your god doesn't exist, or I'm sure he would take it.
God has the monopoly on commanding and demanding respect, honor, repentance, love, glory -- and he doesn't like to share (Isa 42:8). Humans attempting to do the same are just falling for the old "you will be like God, knowing good and evil" line. It's as old as Eden. Please keep up.