I think the tough part about this is the fact that the industrial revolution removed the locus of economic productivity from the home. For most of human existence, the home has been the center of economic production. The man worked the fields, the woman kept the house and, if the family was lucky, she cultivated a cottage industry skill as, for example, a seamstress. A woman who could spare the family the expense of purchasing clothing, and perhaps even produce extra to sell at market, was a reliable path to the middle class. A skilled woman working in the home was an opportunity to look beyond the economics of subsistence farming and produce excess capital. This means that women generally have been economically productive. But now the demands of complex developed economies require a laser focus on labor-intensive child-rearing, without a clear economic excess produced. As a committed conservative Christian man, I don't feel like we've done enough to acknowledge this historic reality and contend with its implications for women. I don't think we should be waving away the concerns of Christian women who find themselves unfulfilled by being alienated from the means of economic production. There are no easy solutions, of course. Kids need parents who are present. But, I do feel that we need to acknowledge and validate the pernicious nature of the problem. Women, just like Men, want to be productive and industrious. And that's okay.
This was very helpful to me in my situation. We live in an urban area where all agrarian or cottage industry demands are nonexistent (coastal South Florida). Trying to apply the Proverbs 31 woman to urbanity is not so linear. The shops and Amazon are where we go to acquire. We rent our overpriced cookie cutter apartment. My wife is a civil engineer and loves her job, I'm a military veteran, part time (stipend) worship leader, full time music student, and an unpaid studio intern. Do a little thinking and one of us is paid higher than the other for the time being. We've been married two years and don't have children yet. We'd like to have children ASAP, but the difficulty is that if my wife comes home, we cannot sustain our way of living and my studies would be made more difficult by having to work full time as a full time student, husband, and father. As idealistic and Christian conservative as we are, I could not imagine doing college, having two or three jobs, keeping my wife at home with marginal income, having children, and saving for a house in our locale with this cost of living. And we are here to stay. Fortunately, my VA benefits are helping out, but, the goal is not to rely on daddy government. I'm open to thoughts, as I'm in a season of studying, learning, and receiving feedback. I want to avoid the sin of thinking, "We enjoy being dinks and children would be a hindrance." Is this current structure of my life sinful? I've really struggled with these thoughts and I don't know where to find counsel from Scripture that speaks on the many facets of this topic.
Really helpful advice. I liked the caution to avoid the pitfalls of Feminism and Masculinism, and the encouragement to educate your daughters because they will influence the level to which your grandchildren are educated.
Feminism has never valued anything feminine. We should be thinking in terms of the gifts that God gave women when he split Adam into Adam and Eve. Each side has skills that are to the benefit of society. Any effective team is composed of complementary inequalities. I believe that the current state of our society is, at least partially, the result of the lack of what women contribute to civilization because feminism has tried to turn women into men in the belief that only what men do has to get done.
What a great topic! So many things are treated as taboo in the cowering pulpits of modern evangelical Christianity. This is biblical and eye-opening content.
I loved working out of the home, but it affected my family poorly. Now I’m at home because my children are younger and love it too. When God leads, I will do more outside of the home.
@steveshapiro326 it is important to not generalize, what if tge Classical Christian Education costs too much for only one salary to provide. Do not judge women who don't , 'work part time." Falilies are not one size fits all." This man is uninformed and lacks perspective. What about women whose husbands: die, physically abuse their wives or who are sexually unfaithful. These are worthy of consideration. Doug Wilson's answers are undeveloped and unhelpful to certain people.
This is what I see. I have friends who are Christian and who work full time because their husbands welcome the money to improve their lives. Some of these women work longer hours than their husbands. However, there is no change for them in the home. They still are expected to cook, clean, do all laundry, etc. These poor women are being used and abused. They are TIRED and worn out.
i see this too. their husbands are unwise, at best, fools, in my estimation. the wives should go make the home and let the husband provide. they aren't helping themselves, their husbands, or their children by going out and working just for more money and luxury.
Funny in my home my wife said she didn't need to learn to cook and now that eating out is prohibitively expensive I cook every night do dishes and most of the cleaning. I work 2 jobs (1 very part time) and she only part time as a nurse. She's a great mother but is product of feminist ideals and no homemaking skills besides good mothering so I a the tired one.
Interesting post. But not something my grandma would have had time even to contemplate. My mother was a little girl during the depression. Like so many of that era, they were engaged in a rural/agricultural life. One that was physically demanding of both men and women. An Ozzie and Harriet life would have been outside of their reality. Due to tough times, my grandfather put his mechanical and equipment operating skills to work “off the farm”, leaving grandma in charge of much more than her mere “household “ of five children. There is no secret formula that made it work: a live in grandma (normal in that era) and older children who could cook, do REAL farm work, watch children, etc. Even in a modern Christian family, with a breadwinner and SAHM, I cannot imagine many in this era surviving and even thriving under a tougher lifestyle. Not some matter of “cheaper vacations “ or shopping thrift stores to afford music lessons. For urban people of that era, both women and children even worked in factories. Yet they were a more moral, pious and God-fearing people then. Just food for thought when we are tempted to view everything through a mid-twentieth century lens.
So many women say “I have to work, along with my husband, just to ‘get by’.” But I would compel you to think more deeply about that. Do you really just love the money? And the pride of your work? And getting away from it all? The husband should be able to provide for the family, and as wives we shouldn’t enable them to stay in sin. Could they get a better job? Could they work extra hours? And most importantly, are they really just being childish and lazy, in wanting to stay with their current job? There are lots of job options out there, that pay well, and with no college degree. The thing is that they require more labor out of the man. Both man and woman need to really self examine their heart, and remember how deceitful it inherently is. Most families can downsize and get by just fine on 1 income. But most just don’t want to. They love their brand new cars, they love their oversized home, they love their expensive clothes and luxuries. And they can’t even fathom downsizing. But there is a price to pay for all those nicer things. And the price is your children. You have to give your children to someone else to raise, so you can have all those nicer things, and feed your ego and pride. But will it still be worth it in 20 years if your children are atheist? And oh how you will cry out to God, and plead your innocence, just because you went to church every Sunday. You need church, but your kids also need you, the two are synonymous!
That is spot on. It's just excuses, Ppl just want a higher standard of living and to live material lives, rather than live lives motivated by Christ and his kingdom.
@@urbanvoice5323 I’ve seen it so often with Christian women, and it makes me sad every time. They really need to think deeply about it, and consider what is obeying God best, and foremost.
@@createyourpattern2773 Thank you. I know it will be confrontational for many. But if just 1 woman reevaluates her choices from seeing it… then it’s served it’s purpose. The truth in love right? 🙏🏽
@@jaquirox6579 I wish there were more believing women teaching this to other believing woman and more believing men teaching this to other believing men.
Gone are the days when a family could be supported on one income. This is by design. Get kids out there working too, ASAP. Government needs more tax dollars. A committed husband and wife who loved and respected each other and who lived in an economy where they could raise a family on his income, not requiring the wife’s, had the best thing going. Required wife’s income does not liberate young mothers who already have their hands full and deserve to not be forced into the workforce.
@@pierrehoubein8225 I mostly agree with you, however I married my wife almost 3 years ago and we have got by on just my income alone. Granted, our budget is extremely tight and we don’t have a savings because I just don’t make enough against the bills. But I pay all the bills on time always and my wife doesn’t have to concern herself. God has blessed it, don’t think he won’t bless a family trying to follow in the old paths. I don’t even really agree with Doug in this video either, since he’s basing his answer primarily on the proverbs 31 woman. Well never in that chapter did it say she went and became an employee for some other man in some corporation somewhere. I always encourage my wife to not be slothful but to still be scheduled and active, but I never encourage her to get a job. We have a child and, Lord willing, another one on the way. Let the man take the burden of the corporate world.
@@stevenl1706 Agreed. Sounds like both you and your wife are both working hard for the benefit of the family. It’s not easy raising family in the old way. Bless you and your wife for your commitment to your children and the future of our nation.
Thank you for this comment. I have a question… when a husband is not bringing home adequate income to support a family albeit working at a steady full time job… a lot of women at this point feel pressure to work even at the expense of their family. There just seems to be societal pressure to do so. What is a woman to do? Possibly act as support to the husband, perhaps helping him get a better job? It is a difficult path to take these days. I homeschool my kids, one with special needs where public school is out of the question. The only thing I can think to do is do a couple of side gigs and encourage my husbands self esteem so that he gets a better job (for his benefit even not just for the family). Are there any other suggestions for this situation?
And a man's priority is his wife, and his kids. Lucky him - his wife worked at the Christian school where he taught. This needs addressed on a broader level. Still, I appreciate his thoughts, to some degree.
Wrong, a man's priority shouldn't be his family. Woman was made for man, and not man for woman. His priorities should be outwards toward work and the world outside home. If you don't understand why the woman should look inwards and a man outwards look at the physical design. As to education for women, yes definitely; but neither parents education will limit the children or grandchildren. T
Seems good for a woman to be her own boss. Many women have side businesses - very biblical if you look at Proverbs 31 --> She considers a field and buys it, plants a vineyard with her own earnings. Jesus' ministry was supported by a number of women out of their own means. He remarked on how the widow gave more than anyone because she gave all she had to live on. Her contribution was reckoned by proportion of sacrifice not raw amount. Lydia, an early church host, ran a business. My sense from Paul is that idleness is more concerning for both men and women. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it unto the Lord.
A job can be God's answer to the prayers of a wife / married couple who need to increase their income. The bible has many examples of women who worked outside of the home (of course, work back then looked very different to modern day employment, but they worked outside the home nonetheless- as midwives, as servants, as entrepreneurs, in the fields etc.). Our priority should be our home and our family- as long as the job doesn't make us neglect those responsibilities, we are not sinning.
I have an opposite question. There's a marriage I know where the children have all grown into adulthood. The youngest at 22 is still at home. The husband is the only one that works outside the home. The wife is the only believer. Should she work outside the home? She has no intention of doing so. Thanks in advance, if you answer.
Education plays a big part in helping the kids become adults. Sadly, the married couple your speaking of can project a perfect false image of feminine obedience and male dominance to their neighbors, like alot of spouses do to keep face. Today's compulsory schools don't teach kids anything except how to sit still, get scared over quizzes, beg for attention, be passive and remain a compliant coward for 12 years, so if mom and dad aren't teaching survival skills to their boys and girls, and if they are expecting school to do everything they should be doing as mom & dad, then the marriage has failed miserably, no matter how good the sex or money is (which is what alot of modern "marriages" seem to be about, not raising healthy citizens for the countries future). That 22 year old adult kid has been betrayed by modern norms. Read as much as you can about the family dynamic in old Europe and in the USA before the 20th and 21st century. In family businesses, crafts, town guilds and farming homesteads, men worked their asses off on the land or in the shop, and women worked their asses off in the home and if she could help her husband, on the land too. The families in those days didn't exclude their kids from working with them. Child labor is vital for youth to grow up and become tough, reliable adults, but child labor within the Christian family is the ideal situation, not child labor exploitation in a factory, and not cowardly obedience on a school campus either. The answer to your question is: homeschooling, Christian social hobbies, people need to teach their kids to work by showing them labor skills, and parents should lead by example instead of faking an image of perfection, thinking teachers are going to parent their kids for them while they neglect their kids at cocktail parties.
There's nothing wrong with working for free! My mom is a wonderful example. She's retired now but she is busy everyday doing some service for the people around her, whether it's her grandkids, her church, fellow seniors, the disabled, pregnancy center, the neighborhood etc. Preparing meals for the sick, hosting small groups. Paid work is not the only work! It also depends a lot on what her husband desires. I have no intention of ever working for money even when our kids are grown. It's really important to have people who are free to do unpaid work for their community!
He has a point about different roles for men and women but I can’t imagine listening to this and thinking “oh yeah I should pattern my life after this”... reason being.. there’s barely any scripture being expounded upon. It’s all opinion. I’m glad he said there’s flexibility but it’s all conjecture.
It is important to remember that there is no change without consequences. A family has only one income, without regard for the number of sources. If you allow the family's income to reach 80 or more man-hours a week, then that is what it will take to make your standard of living. In simpler terms, if you increase the number of hours worked that it takes to afford to live, everybody has to make that standard. You cannot have a choice once too many people make that choice.
i understand your argument, but your conclusion is a leap. just look at the lavish lifestyle the average american affords. just because society says you can't live on less doesn't mean it's true
@@billybob-wx2re the influence of higher incomes drives up the general cost of living and makes it harder. Eventually, it would become impossible. We did live on less.
@@robertcoeymanjr.2550 "the influence of higher incomes drives up the general cost of living and makes it harder." yes. "Eventually, it would become impossible." no. there is an upper limit due to the opposing pressure of the masses. you only need to stay below some particular distance to that norm. you live in america, man. i could go to any number of 100 different countries and they would roll their eyes at your argument. do not be deceived. you choose to send your wife to work so you can live more comfortably.
@@billybob-wx2re My objective was to point out to people that I have heard complaining about the results of their own actions that they are doing this to themselves. Part of the theology on which socialism is built is that the dollar has this magical property called 'value.' We have forgotten how little difference there really is between the American Dollar and its confederate cousin.
No its not. Read proverbs 31 Its not new age. You men got it wrong al this time and took advantage of it. Proverbs 31 is how a christian woman should be
@@suzannewassink3914 John 3:16 is a verse not a name... Thanks for assuming we are all feminist. I rather follow Gods written word and it goes as follows" Titus 2:5 In-Context 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. You are welcome
@@vanessaloy1049 Sorry for my harsh words, I sincerely apologize. Continue praying to God for husband, however, your situation is not an excuse to live independently, and grow masculine aspects in yourself. Wish you all the best :)
I am a born again Christian and teach at our local public school. My children are grown, and I was called to teach there. Once a week, our local church does Bible camp after school. I have been blessed to be able to work with children and their parents. I am a silent testimony and God has blessed me greatly. Be blessed.
Right. It creates confusion because now she has to submit to her boss who most likely will be another man and also submit to you as her husband. It’s a recipe for disaster and I’ve seen it happen.
No it wouldn’t when you have kids and they have left home or even have marriages of their own. There is nothing wrong with doing a part-time job I don’t submit to my boss we are not in a covenant relationship and if I am in the office and my boss asks me to do something I do it to my best of my ability because I get wages and the end of the month. And as a Christian we do the right thing he is not in control and there are lines that he has no authority what so ever to cross I respect my boss but I am not submitted to him. I have to wonder what you would say if the boss was female.
@@claudiabailey5302 you obey a boss, submission is willful obedience regardless of the circumstances. So in that sense, you’re correct. As long as this part-time job isn’t interfering with your duties as a wife first, then that’s not so bad. I still think a woman shouldn’t be concerning herself with even a part-time job regardless of the children being grown. I want my wife to stay active but not work (we also have a small child so that’s a legitimate reason regardless). But if your husband is not bothered by it and that works for the both of you, I don’t see any strict prohibitions against it in scripture. Again, as long as that job doesn’t take precedence over the Lord first of all and then your husband. Why do you want to subject yourself to man’s curse? It’s our curse that we have to work by the sweat of our brow all the day, not women. As to your last comment, I think a female in the workplace in a leadership role is an abomination and never works correctly. Sorry not sorry.
Can't really agree with this compromise due to 1 timothy 5: 8. But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel
In context it is speaking about provinding for a widow .So If a mother remains a widow and has believeing children they should provide for her.The context is not speaking about women providing for her familly.
Christian women ought to be domestically oriented. Primary Focus is the home and the Children but ought to still use their gifts and callings to serve GOD'S Purpose for their lives. I like this very Godly and Balanced.
At 5:14 it's amazing to hear such a learned person like Doug would make such a blunder of misrepresentation of Biblical form regurgitating the same polemic the media potrays about the Islamic tradition. While in Islam women are viewed as equal in the sight of God and their places in society as educated individuals who bring as a good impact to society as men, I do agree much of what he said on this episode about priorities and orientation towards family and children in the home should come first and extending services to helping others if opportunity allows.
"A woman's place is not in the home, a WIFE"S place is in the home. The first priority of every man and woman's life is to know Jesus Christ, not just accept Him and then go about their business as usual. That is the basic behavior of much of the religious church. Just get saved and live accordingly to your passion. But Jesus told us to follow Him, and not to visit Him on occasion. The wife, before she becomes one, and the husband, before he becomes one, is the same, to seek and to fully know the unsearchable riches of Christ, and THEN to have that foundation built, so that THEN, when he or she gets married, they will both, yes BOTH, bring that foundation into the marriage. Now, what a foolish person does, is doesnt build any kind of foundation on Christ, but instead, gets married, and THEN begins to ponder, "now we have to build a foundation in God for our marriage". What they have just done there is, decide to do what they were required, by God, to do, years before they even finally decided to pursue relationship with one another that would result in marriage. So many Christian couples do this wrongly, and they think that "the woman is the heart of the marriage, so I, the man/husband, will leave all of the heart stuff up to her and I will work and provide materials". But thats just what an animal does, and God made the animals to do what the animals do and the, "made in My image and likeness' humans are to do more than that. A human being, made in the image of God, is supposed to have a good relationship with the Creator Who made them, AND, from that being first, instead of making work first and the superficial, that foundation that they have put before their material job, the true relationship with Jesus Christ, knowing the unsearachable riches of Christ, then will cause everything else to fit right and to be what it was intended by God, in the marriage to be. See, Adam did know God before Eve happened. Once Eve happened, was not when Adam had relationship with God. Look also to Jesus. He had His relationship with God first and He did everything else through that. And He Is the Husband of a mega church" Think about this. Is marriage or is relationship with Jesus Christ, what Christ died for? I have seen women who are old and since they arent able to have a husband anymore, it just wrecks them, because all of their life they have been being trained to be married. I have seen men who arent able to get married and it effects them too. But, the Bible actually shows us that we are supposed to make relationship with Jesus Christ the main thing and not marriage. That may be a part of it, but it is not the bottleneck. Part of this is why, in the resurrection, that we will no longer have marriage.
Proverbs 31, is a prophecy (Proverbs 31:1The words of king Lemuel, the*prophecy* that his mother taught him), and taking it literal will mean the woman does everything and her husband does nothing. the Proverb 31 woman is wisdom personified compare Proverbs 31 to Proverbs 8. The man is suppose to sweat (provide for the home) Genesis 1:17, he can not get pregnant or breast feed, the woman is to make home (give birth) and keep home ( take care of the kids) Gen 3:16 . Pastors want tithes from both husbands and wives, the government wants taxes from both husbands and wives and these two firms will never advice the wife to stay home and work for her own home.Training up the children is the duty of the parents and if the wife join the man outside the home, this responsibility will be transfered to someone else and we will not be counted us good stewards. the schools are already teaching LGBT stuffs and evolution. Parents shouyld arise and forsake these worldly stuffs (vanities). Deuteronomy 11:19 And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
It's impossible to have a job or career outside the home working for someone else and still take care of the home/family. That's impossible! And you said that buying/considering a vineyard is 'real estate', real estate today does not mean that by any stretch, clearly buying or considering a vineyard is for her to make wine and or juice at home for the family and a food source as well as a potential income source. Oh and, are you saying the wife wouldn't even consult her husband before she made such a purchase? Also, you said that the protector is away from the home but protects, how does he do that exactly? The same as if the wife worked out of the home without him, how is he protecting her? For starters-
Why would God allow a woman to be the full time keeper of her home plus work outside it! How many arms, legs and hours in a day would she have. It takes me a full day to clean, teach, cook and seeto the family. To say wiman can do both is just mot true. Ine is suffering more than the other. And how is a woman caring dor her kids if they are in someone elses care?
“She’s got to prepare a meal for her husband who’s coming home at 6” LOL. he’s trying to sound so reasonable, but the absurdity comes through loud and clear.
If what I have seen is consistent, Islam is afraid of women and sees them as competitors to their husbands. It almost looks like they are reacting to feminism that has been lost to history.
Yeah and that’s why we have the tug of war between sexes in many situations. People don’t like seeing couples work it out in the way that works for them. But I like it because it proves two people can live in unity
I don't see any problem with anything he said if you replace "wife/mother/woman" with "husband/father/man." I don't understand from a Biblical perspective (which no scripture was actually cited), why a woman is expected to first consider her home and family as if that is anything different than a man's role to do the same. Why does the empty nester wife need to cook the meal by 6pm? Why is the example of what a woman does outside of the home land on volunteering at crisis pregnancy center if, as pastor Wilson says, a woman is educated and competent and able to do "all sorts of things" outside the home? My wife makes way more money than I do, and given our careers of choice, always will, I can't catch up with her. She can do a lot of it from home, but it's a very involved career and she can't do it with a 6, 4, and 2 year old interrupting her all the time, so I pick up the slack so she can focus on her work. We share domestic duties, we're both educating and catechizing our children, we both do laundry, we both cook, we both do yardwork. How is that wrong?
Hello Tyler, during Reading your comment it was like „WOW she is a real man“. I would answer you question „how it is wrong“ by telling you, „Go read the scripture“. There you will find the answer to your question and see the role that God gave you in the Family. Shalom
@@Christian.Portugues.Francisco I'm not sure I know what you mean by "wow, she is a real man", but that aside, I'm not looking for a debate or a fight, what I want to know is exactly what you hinted at: where in scripture (which I do read) says that my wife is to stay home and put her family first and foremost in a way that is different than the way I do as a husband and father? Even point me to an epistle or book of the law or anything.
@@travis6694 Yeah, like I said, I read the Bible, it says that women are to be subject to their husbands, kind, and busy at home (whatever that means). I think you can do all those things without necessarily staying at home. I'm very busy at home, and I work too.
The problem is men cannot earn enough for the family due to the increasing cost of living these days. Therefore, most women are compelled to work. After working, they are so tired they will not cook and who can blame them. If the women are also working to supplement the income for the family, then I think a husband and wife have equal responsibility in the home. That is the easiest way to think. In Paul's day the family dynamics were different from today.
Woman makes home the priority and cares for the kids, so she gives up her career growth potential and potential earnings. They get divorced, and man does everything in his power to not pay spousal and child support..Being a stay at home/home is priority first wife is way too risky.
Hi, thank you for making your point. I don't know if this happened to you personally. Your objection to the Biblical image of marriage can be condensed to fear of the repercussions due to sin. A woman does take on risk when she marries. Anything we do does. The solution is not to avoid risk at all cost. Instead, we need to manage that risk. How then to manage it? By choosing a husband according to the Biblical prescription will go a long way to prevent the possible outcome you just described. Also, seeking counsel from those who have grown in the fear of the Lord, i.e. have become wise, is also recommended in proverbs. The alternative to avoiding one particular risk, is to take on another risk. Loneliness. Missing out on a life the way God intended it. The intent of Satan's lies is to inflate one particular set of fears and diminish the perceived value of the Lord's blessings. Genesis 4: And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, 5 but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. 6 The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted?[b] And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to[c] you, but you must rule over it.” [b] Hebrew will there not be a lifting up [of your face]? [c] Or is toward
You do realize that all humans sin right? You could pick a man with all the biblical criteria you want and that man 10 years down the line could cheat one time or become addicted to opioids or gambling. Don’t blame the woman for not choosing wisely.
@@maggiekaykay1 I know this is old so you may not even see it, but like the comment above said "there's always a risk" but choosing wisely minimizes that risk. It is possible but unlikely, that a truly godly man is going to go out and cheat on his wife, especially when he is actively loving God and his wife and she is doing the same. The opioid thing is a little different but today people are much more aware of the effects of those drugs, so they're given out a bit stricter and even if prescribed s wise man would avoid unless necessary. Also, let's not pretend there are no risks in working either. So we can't escape risks, but we can choose to obey God or not.
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I think the tough part about this is the fact that the industrial revolution removed the locus of economic productivity from the home. For most of human existence, the home has been the center of economic production. The man worked the fields, the woman kept the house and, if the family was lucky, she cultivated a cottage industry skill as, for example, a seamstress. A woman who could spare the family the expense of purchasing clothing, and perhaps even produce extra to sell at market, was a reliable path to the middle class. A skilled woman working in the home was an opportunity to look beyond the economics of subsistence farming and produce excess capital.
This means that women generally have been economically productive. But now the demands of complex developed economies require a laser focus on labor-intensive child-rearing, without a clear economic excess produced. As a committed conservative Christian man, I don't feel like we've done enough to acknowledge this historic reality and contend with its implications for women. I don't think we should be waving away the concerns of Christian women who find themselves unfulfilled by being alienated from the means of economic production. There are no easy solutions, of course. Kids need parents who are present. But, I do feel that we need to acknowledge and validate the pernicious nature of the problem. Women, just like Men, want to be productive and industrious. And that's okay.
This was very helpful to me in my situation.
We live in an urban area where all agrarian or cottage industry demands are nonexistent (coastal South Florida). Trying to apply the Proverbs 31 woman to urbanity is not so linear. The shops and Amazon are where we go to acquire. We rent our overpriced cookie cutter apartment. My wife is a civil engineer and loves her job, I'm a military veteran, part time (stipend) worship leader, full time music student, and an unpaid studio intern. Do a little thinking and one of us is paid higher than the other for the time being. We've been married two years and don't have children yet. We'd like to have children ASAP, but the difficulty is that if my wife comes home, we cannot sustain our way of living and my studies would be made more difficult by having to work full time as a full time student, husband, and father.
As idealistic and Christian conservative as we are, I could not imagine doing college, having two or three jobs, keeping my wife at home with marginal income, having children, and saving for a house in our locale with this cost of living. And we are here to stay.
Fortunately, my VA benefits are helping out, but, the goal is not to rely on daddy government.
I'm open to thoughts, as I'm in a season of studying, learning, and receiving feedback. I want to avoid the sin of thinking, "We enjoy being dinks and children would be a hindrance."
Is this current structure of my life sinful? I've really struggled with these thoughts and I don't know where to find counsel from Scripture that speaks on the many facets of this topic.
Really helpful advice. I liked the caution to avoid the pitfalls of Feminism and Masculinism, and the encouragement to educate your daughters because they will influence the level to which your grandchildren are educated.
Feminism has never valued anything feminine. We should be thinking in terms of the gifts that God gave women when he split Adam into Adam and Eve. Each side has skills that are to the benefit of society. Any effective team is composed of complementary inequalities. I believe that the current state of our society is, at least partially, the result of the lack of what women contribute to civilization because feminism has tried to turn women into men in the belief that only what men do has to get done.
What a great topic! So many things are treated as taboo in the cowering pulpits of modern evangelical Christianity. This is biblical and eye-opening content.
I loved working out of the home, but it affected my family poorly. Now I’m at home because my children are younger and love it too. When God leads, I will do more outside of the home.
Each family must decide what's best.
@steveshapiro326 it is important to not generalize, what if tge Classical Christian Education costs too much for only one salary to provide. Do not judge women who don't , 'work part time." Falilies are not one size fits all." This man is uninformed and lacks perspective. What about women whose husbands: die, physically abuse their wives or who are sexually unfaithful. These are worthy of consideration. Doug Wilson's answers are undeveloped and unhelpful to certain people.
This is what I see. I have friends who are Christian and who work full time because their husbands welcome the money to improve their lives. Some of these women work longer hours than their husbands. However, there is no change for them in the home. They still are expected to cook, clean, do all laundry, etc. These poor women are being used and abused. They are TIRED and worn out.
i see this too. their husbands are unwise, at best, fools, in my estimation. the wives should go make the home and let the husband provide. they aren't helping themselves, their husbands, or their children by going out and working just for more money and luxury.
Funny in my home my wife said she didn't need to learn to cook and now that eating out is prohibitively expensive I cook every night do dishes and most of the cleaning. I work 2 jobs (1 very part time) and she only part time as a nurse. She's a great mother but is product of feminist ideals and no homemaking skills besides good mothering so I a the tired one.
@@vd1721 I am sorry. This is not good either. I feel like spouses should help one another. If both work, both need to help with the home and children.
Awesome message
Interesting post. But not something my grandma would have had time even to contemplate. My mother was a little girl during the depression. Like so many of that era, they were engaged in a rural/agricultural life. One that was physically demanding of both men and women. An Ozzie and Harriet life would have been outside of their reality. Due to tough times, my grandfather put his mechanical and equipment operating skills to work “off the farm”, leaving grandma in charge of much more than her mere “household “ of five children. There is no secret formula that made it work: a live in grandma (normal in that era) and older children who could cook, do REAL farm work, watch children, etc. Even in a modern Christian family, with a breadwinner and SAHM, I cannot imagine many in this era surviving and even thriving under a tougher lifestyle. Not some matter of “cheaper vacations “ or shopping thrift stores to afford music lessons. For urban people of that era, both women and children even worked in factories. Yet they were a more moral, pious and God-fearing people then. Just food for thought when we are tempted to view everything through a mid-twentieth century lens.
Great insight!
Super well put
Sounds good and sound. Thank you.
So many women say “I have to work, along with my husband, just to ‘get by’.” But I would compel you to think more deeply about that. Do you really just love the money? And the pride of your work? And getting away from it all?
The husband should be able to provide for the family, and as wives we shouldn’t enable them to stay in sin. Could they get a better job? Could they work extra hours? And most importantly, are they really just being childish and lazy, in wanting to stay with their current job?
There are lots of job options out there, that pay well, and with no college degree. The thing is that they require more labor out of the man.
Both man and woman need to really self examine their heart, and remember how deceitful it inherently is. Most families can downsize and get by just fine on 1 income. But most just don’t want to. They love their brand new cars, they love their oversized home, they love their expensive clothes and luxuries. And they can’t even fathom downsizing.
But there is a price to pay for all those nicer things. And the price is your children. You have to give your children to someone else to raise, so you can have all those nicer things, and feed your ego and pride. But will it still be worth it in 20 years if your children are atheist? And oh how you will cry out to God, and plead your innocence, just because you went to church every Sunday. You need church, but your kids also need you, the two are synonymous!
That is spot on. It's just excuses, Ppl just want a higher standard of living and to live material lives, rather than live lives motivated by Christ and his kingdom.
Great comment
@@urbanvoice5323 I’ve seen it so often with Christian women, and it makes me sad every time. They really need to think deeply about it, and consider what is obeying God best, and foremost.
@@createyourpattern2773 Thank you. I know it will be confrontational for many. But if just 1 woman reevaluates her choices from seeing it… then it’s served it’s purpose. The truth in love right? 🙏🏽
@@jaquirox6579 I wish there were more believing women teaching this to other believing woman and more believing men teaching this to other believing men.
Let's start a cottage industry revolution. Power to the People.
This was a good and balanced messge
"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"That's not funny!"
This is a GOAT-tier joke, and it's so simple.
😂
Pay you 5 cents to change a light bulb in my office.
it's a meh joke, even as a light bulb jokes, and light bulb jokes are GOAT level.
My priority is my husband and home, but I've always worked as well, out of necessity.
Gone are the days when a family could be supported on one income. This is by design. Get kids out there working too, ASAP. Government needs more tax dollars. A committed husband and wife who loved and respected each other and who lived in an economy where they could raise a family on his income, not requiring the wife’s, had the best thing going. Required wife’s income does not liberate young mothers who already have their hands full and deserve to not be forced into the workforce.
@@pierrehoubein8225 I mostly agree with you, however I married my wife almost 3 years ago and we have got by on just my income alone. Granted, our budget is extremely tight and we don’t have a savings because I just don’t make enough against the bills. But I pay all the bills on time always and my wife doesn’t have to concern herself. God has blessed it, don’t think he won’t bless a family trying to follow in the old paths. I don’t even really agree with Doug in this video either, since he’s basing his answer primarily on the proverbs 31 woman. Well never in that chapter did it say she went and became an employee for some other man in some corporation somewhere. I always encourage my wife to not be slothful but to still be scheduled and active, but I never encourage her to get a job. We have a child and, Lord willing, another one on the way. Let the man take the burden of the corporate world.
@@stevenl1706 Agreed. Sounds like both you and your wife are both working hard for the benefit of the family. It’s not easy raising family in the old way. Bless you and your wife for your commitment to your children and the future of our nation.
@@stevenl1706 Nowhere in proverbs 31 does it say women can drive cars. Does you wife have a driver's license? Why?
@@pierrehoubein8225 Deserve? That sounds like works-based nonsense.
Great point about quasi-Muslim reading!
Thank you for this comment. I have a question… when a husband is not bringing home adequate income to support a family albeit working at a steady full time job… a lot of women at this point feel pressure to work even at the expense of their family. There just seems to be societal pressure to do so. What is a woman to do? Possibly act as support to the husband, perhaps helping him get a better job? It is a difficult path to take these days. I homeschool my kids, one with special needs where public school is out of the question. The only thing I can think to do is do a couple of side gigs and encourage my husbands self esteem so that he gets a better job (for his benefit even not just for the family). Are there any other suggestions for this situation?
Those books on the shelf are very 10/12 years ago.
And a man's priority is his wife, and his kids. Lucky him - his wife worked at the Christian school where he taught. This needs addressed on a broader level. Still, I appreciate his thoughts, to some degree.
Wrong, a man's priority shouldn't be his family. Woman was made for man, and not man for woman. His priorities should be outwards toward work and the world outside home. If you don't understand why the woman should look inwards and a man outwards look at the physical design.
As to education for women, yes definitely; but neither parents education will limit the children or grandchildren. T
I know this a 6y old comment, but could you expand on this? Is a man’s priority a 1:1 ratio like the wife’s priority is the home?
Seems good for a woman to be her own boss. Many women have side businesses - very biblical if you look at Proverbs 31 --> She considers a field and buys it, plants a vineyard with her own earnings. Jesus' ministry was supported by a number of women out of their own means. He remarked on how the widow gave more than anyone because she gave all she had to live on. Her contribution was reckoned by proportion of sacrifice not raw amount. Lydia, an early church host, ran a business. My sense from Paul is that idleness is more concerning for both men and women. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it unto the Lord.
A job can be God's answer to the prayers of a wife / married couple who need to increase their income. The bible has many examples of women who worked outside of the home (of course, work back then looked very different to modern day employment, but they worked outside the home nonetheless- as midwives, as servants, as entrepreneurs, in the fields etc.). Our priority should be our home and our family- as long as the job doesn't make us neglect those responsibilities, we are not sinning.
I have an opposite question. There's a marriage I know where the children have all grown into adulthood. The youngest at 22 is still at home. The husband is the only one that works outside the home. The wife is the only believer. Should she work outside the home? She has no intention of doing so. Thanks in advance, if you answer.
Education plays a big part in helping the kids become adults. Sadly, the married couple your speaking of can project a perfect false image of feminine obedience and male dominance to their neighbors, like alot of spouses do to keep face. Today's compulsory schools don't teach kids anything except how to sit still, get scared over quizzes, beg for attention, be passive and remain a compliant coward for 12 years, so if mom and dad aren't teaching survival skills to their boys and girls, and if they are expecting school to do everything they should be doing as mom & dad, then the marriage has failed miserably, no matter how good the sex or money is (which is what alot of modern "marriages" seem to be about, not raising healthy citizens for the countries future). That 22 year old adult kid has been betrayed by modern norms. Read as much as you can about the family dynamic in old Europe and in the USA before the 20th and 21st century. In family businesses, crafts, town guilds and farming homesteads, men worked their asses off on the land or in the shop, and women worked their asses off in the home and if she could help her husband, on the land too. The families in those days didn't exclude their kids from working with them. Child labor is vital for youth to grow up and become tough, reliable adults, but child labor within the Christian family is the ideal situation, not child labor exploitation in a factory, and not cowardly obedience on a school campus either. The answer to your question is: homeschooling, Christian social hobbies, people need to teach their kids to work by showing them labor skills, and parents should lead by example instead of faking an image of perfection, thinking teachers are going to parent their kids for them while they neglect their kids at cocktail parties.
There's nothing wrong with working for free! My mom is a wonderful example. She's retired now but she is busy everyday doing some service for the people around her, whether it's her grandkids, her church, fellow seniors, the disabled, pregnancy center, the neighborhood etc. Preparing meals for the sick, hosting small groups. Paid work is not the only work!
It also depends a lot on what her husband desires. I have no intention of ever working for money even when our kids are grown. It's really important to have people who are free to do unpaid work for their community!
Should she be free to work outside the home? Or is she morally required to work outside the home?
honestly not the response I was expecting
He has a point about different roles for men and women but I can’t imagine listening to this and thinking “oh yeah I should pattern my life after this”... reason being.. there’s barely any scripture being expounded upon. It’s all opinion. I’m glad he said there’s flexibility but it’s all conjecture.
Any passage dealing with marriage as an institution has this same pattern.
It is important to remember that there is no change without consequences. A family has only one income, without regard for the number of sources. If you allow the family's income to reach 80 or more man-hours a week, then that is what it will take to make your standard of living. In simpler terms, if you increase the number of hours worked that it takes to afford to live, everybody has to make that standard. You cannot have a choice once too many people make that choice.
i understand your argument, but your conclusion is a leap. just look at the lavish lifestyle the average american affords. just because society says you can't live on less doesn't mean it's true
@@billybob-wx2re the influence of higher incomes drives up the general cost of living and makes it harder. Eventually, it would become impossible. We did live on less.
Agree 100%
@@robertcoeymanjr.2550 "the influence of higher incomes drives up the general cost of living and makes it harder."
yes.
"Eventually, it would become impossible."
no. there is an upper limit due to the opposing pressure of the masses. you only need to stay below some particular distance to that norm.
you live in america, man. i could go to any number of 100 different countries and they would roll their eyes at your argument.
do not be deceived. you choose to send your wife to work so you can live more comfortably.
@@billybob-wx2re My objective was to point out to people that I have heard complaining about the results of their own actions that they are doing this to themselves. Part of the theology on which socialism is built is that the dollar has this magical property called 'value.' We have forgotten how little difference there really is between the American Dollar and its confederate cousin.
Wolf alert!!!💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 keepers at home is keepers AT home. This is new age teaching compliant with the world 💥💥💥💥💥
No its not.
Read proverbs 31
Its not new age. You men got it wrong al this time and took advantage of it.
Proverbs 31 is how a christian woman should be
@@suzannewassink3914 John 3:16 is a verse not a name... Thanks for assuming we are all feminist. I rather follow Gods written word and it goes as follows" Titus 2:5 In-Context
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. You are welcome
Very insightful. Can you do this but for single Christian women, no kids and no husband
Stay with your father until you find the man
@@emanuilgoshev350 Your 80 year old father is not going to support you forever.
@@vanessaloy1049 Well then, find the problem why you don't have a husband at 50 years old
@@emanuilgoshev350 Because men don’t ask me out. The last time that happened, I was a minor.
@@vanessaloy1049 Sorry for my harsh words, I sincerely apologize. Continue praying to God for husband, however, your situation is not an excuse to live independently, and grow masculine aspects in yourself. Wish you all the best :)
And here’s another question what if the woman has no children and just a husband? Can she still be permitted to work?
Yes, ofcourse
Our puropse is to glorify God. Whether a career woman or sahm or both..
Executive director of the home 🙄🤢🤮
Can you imagine that she’s working at the local school and it’s not Christian?! *gasp*
I am a born again Christian and teach at our local public school. My children are grown, and I was called to teach there. Once a week, our local church does Bible camp after school. I have been blessed to be able to work with children and their parents. I am a silent testimony and God has blessed me greatly. Be blessed.
I would add that according to scripture, only the husband is over the wife. That would be a problem when the wife is looking for a part time job.
Right. It creates confusion because now she has to submit to her boss who most likely will be another man and also submit to you as her husband. It’s a recipe for disaster and I’ve seen it happen.
So she should not submit or go to church and be under a eldership?
@@thereisnopandemic - and she definitely should not submit to God!
/s
No it wouldn’t when you have kids and they have left home or even have marriages of their own. There is nothing wrong with doing a part-time job I don’t submit to my boss we are not in a covenant relationship and if I am in the office and my boss asks me to do something I do it to my best of my ability because I get wages and the end of the month. And as a Christian we do the right thing he is not in control and there are lines that he has no authority what so ever to cross I respect my boss but I am not submitted to him. I have to wonder what you would say if the boss was female.
@@claudiabailey5302 you obey a boss, submission is willful obedience regardless of the circumstances. So in that sense, you’re correct. As long as this part-time job isn’t interfering with your duties as a wife first, then that’s not so bad. I still think a woman shouldn’t be concerning herself with even a part-time job regardless of the children being grown. I want my wife to stay active but not work (we also have a small child so that’s a legitimate reason regardless). But if your husband is not bothered by it and that works for the both of you, I don’t see any strict prohibitions against it in scripture. Again, as long as that job doesn’t take precedence over the Lord first of all and then your husband.
Why do you want to subject yourself to man’s curse? It’s our curse that we have to work by the sweat of our brow all the day, not women.
As to your last comment, I think a female in the workplace in a leadership role is an abomination and never works correctly. Sorry not sorry.
Can't really agree with this compromise due to 1 timothy 5: 8.
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel
In context it is speaking about provinding for a widow .So If a mother remains a widow and has believeing children they should provide for her.The context is not speaking about women providing for her familly.
Is that only written to men?
Christian women ought to be domestically oriented. Primary Focus is the home and the Children but ought to still use their gifts and callings to serve GOD'S Purpose for their lives. I like this very Godly and Balanced.
If you are Emily Dickinson you should write.
At 5:14 it's amazing to hear such a learned person like Doug would make such a blunder of misrepresentation of Biblical form regurgitating the same polemic the media potrays about the Islamic tradition. While in Islam women are viewed as equal in the sight of God and their places in society as educated individuals who bring as a good impact to society as men, I do agree much of what he said on this episode about priorities and orientation towards family and children in the home should come first and extending services to helping others if opportunity allows.
"A woman's place is not in the home, a WIFE"S place is in the home. The first priority of every man and woman's life is to know Jesus Christ, not just accept Him and then go about their business as usual. That is the basic behavior of much of the religious church. Just get saved and live accordingly to your passion. But Jesus told us to follow Him, and not to visit Him on occasion.
The wife, before she becomes one, and the husband, before he becomes one, is the same, to seek and to fully know the unsearchable riches of Christ, and THEN to have that foundation built, so that THEN, when he or she gets married, they will both, yes BOTH, bring that foundation into the marriage.
Now, what a foolish person does, is doesnt build any kind of foundation on Christ, but instead, gets married, and THEN begins to ponder, "now we have to build a foundation in God for our marriage". What they have just done there is, decide to do what they were required, by God, to do, years before they even finally decided to pursue relationship with one another that would result in marriage.
So many Christian couples do this wrongly, and they think that "the woman is the heart of the marriage, so I, the man/husband, will leave all of the heart stuff up to her and I will work and provide materials".
But thats just what an animal does, and God made the animals to do what the animals do and the, "made in My image and likeness' humans are to do more than that. A human being, made in the image of God, is supposed to have a good relationship with the Creator Who made them, AND, from that being first, instead of making work first and the superficial, that foundation that they have put before their material job, the true relationship with Jesus Christ, knowing the unsearachable riches of Christ, then will cause everything else to fit right and to be what it was intended by God, in the marriage to be.
See, Adam did know God before Eve happened. Once Eve happened, was not when Adam had relationship with God. Look also to Jesus. He had His relationship with God first and He did everything else through that. And He Is the Husband of a mega church"
Think about this. Is marriage or is relationship with Jesus Christ, what Christ died for? I have seen women who are old and since they arent able to have a husband anymore, it just wrecks them, because all of their life they have been being trained to be married. I have seen men who arent able to get married and it effects them too. But, the Bible actually shows us that we are supposed to make relationship with Jesus Christ the main thing and not marriage. That may be a part of it, but it is not the bottleneck. Part of this is why, in the resurrection, that we will no longer have marriage.
Proverbs 31, is a prophecy (Proverbs 31:1The words of king Lemuel, the*prophecy* that his mother taught him), and taking it literal will mean the woman does everything and her husband does nothing. the Proverb 31 woman is wisdom personified compare Proverbs 31 to Proverbs 8.
The man is suppose to sweat (provide for the home) Genesis 1:17, he can not get pregnant or breast feed, the woman is to make home (give birth) and keep home ( take care of the kids) Gen 3:16 . Pastors want tithes from both husbands and wives, the government wants taxes from both husbands and wives and these two firms will never advice the wife to stay home and work for her own home.Training up the children is the duty of the parents and if the wife join the man outside the home, this responsibility will be transfered to someone else and we will not be counted us good stewards. the schools are already teaching LGBT stuffs and evolution. Parents shouyld arise and forsake these worldly stuffs (vanities).
Deuteronomy 11:19
And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
It's impossible to have a job or career outside the home working for someone else and still take care of the home/family. That's impossible! And you said that buying/considering a vineyard is 'real estate', real estate today does not mean that by any stretch, clearly buying or considering a vineyard is for her to make wine and or juice at home for the family and a food source as well as a potential income source. Oh and, are you saying the wife wouldn't even consult her husband before she made such a purchase? Also, you said that the protector is away from the home but protects, how does he do that exactly? The same as if the wife worked out of the home without him, how is he protecting her? For starters-
Why would God allow a woman to be the full time keeper of her home plus work outside it! How many arms, legs and hours in a day would she have. It takes me a full day to clean, teach, cook and seeto the family. To say wiman can do both is just mot true. Ine is suffering more than the other. And how is a woman caring dor her kids if they are in someone elses care?
Proverbs 31
“She’s got to prepare a meal for her husband who’s coming home at 6” LOL. he’s trying to sound so reasonable, but the absurdity comes through loud and clear.
If what I have seen is consistent, Islam is afraid of women and sees them as competitors to their husbands. It almost looks like they are reacting to feminism that has been lost to history.
That is a fascinating theory. It's a bit of a pendulum swing isn't it...people can't seem to land in the middle.
Yeah and that’s why we have the tug of war between sexes in many situations. People don’t like seeing couples work it out in the way that works for them. But I like it because it proves two people can live in unity
I don't see any problem with anything he said if you replace "wife/mother/woman" with "husband/father/man." I don't understand from a Biblical perspective (which no scripture was actually cited), why a woman is expected to first consider her home and family as if that is anything different than a man's role to do the same. Why does the empty nester wife need to cook the meal by 6pm? Why is the example of what a woman does outside of the home land on volunteering at crisis pregnancy center if, as pastor Wilson says, a woman is educated and competent and able to do "all sorts of things" outside the home? My wife makes way more money than I do, and given our careers of choice, always will, I can't catch up with her. She can do a lot of it from home, but it's a very involved career and she can't do it with a 6, 4, and 2 year old interrupting her all the time, so I pick up the slack so she can focus on her work. We share domestic duties, we're both educating and catechizing our children, we both do laundry, we both cook, we both do yardwork. How is that wrong?
Hello Tyler, during Reading your comment it was like „WOW she is a real man“.
I would answer you question „how it is wrong“ by telling you, „Go read the scripture“. There you will find the answer to your question and see the role that God gave you in the Family.
Shalom
@@Christian.Portugues.Francisco I'm not sure I know what you mean by "wow, she is a real man", but that aside, I'm not looking for a debate or a fight, what I want to know is exactly what you hinted at: where in scripture (which I do read) says that my wife is to stay home and put her family first and foremost in a way that is different than the way I do as a husband and father? Even point me to an epistle or book of the law or anything.
@@Tylerstrodtman Titus 2:4-5 is one example of many verses. Curious to see your response.
@@travis6694 Yeah, like I said, I read the Bible, it says that women are to be subject to their husbands, kind, and busy at home (whatever that means). I think you can do all those things without necessarily staying at home. I'm very busy at home, and I work too.
I appreciate men like you so much.
Your wife is a lucky woman to have such a supportive husband.
The problem is men cannot earn enough for the family due to the increasing cost of living these days. Therefore, most women are compelled to work. After working, they are so tired they will not cook and who can blame them. If the women are also working to supplement the income for the family, then I think a husband and wife have equal responsibility in the home. That is the easiest way to think. In Paul's day the family dynamics were different from today.
So disappointed......another sellout to the system.
Daniel Smith totally agree , twisting the word of GOD!
How so? Can you please elaborate?
Yup. Husband provides it all and wives stay home. I want to homeschool my kids.
@@AmaLoveGoddessTV proverbs 31
Obviously, you view women as rightless household slaves.
Woman makes home the priority and cares for the kids, so she gives up her career growth potential and potential earnings. They get divorced, and man does everything in his power to not pay spousal and child support..Being a stay at home/home is priority first wife is way too risky.
Hi, thank you for making your point. I don't know if this happened to you personally. Your objection to the Biblical image of marriage can be condensed to fear of the repercussions due to sin. A woman does take on risk when she marries. Anything we do does. The solution is not to avoid risk at all cost. Instead, we need to manage that risk. How then to manage it? By choosing a husband according to the Biblical prescription will go a long way to prevent the possible outcome you just described. Also, seeking counsel from those who have grown in the fear of the Lord, i.e. have become wise, is also recommended in proverbs.
The alternative to avoiding one particular risk, is to take on another risk. Loneliness. Missing out on a life the way God intended it. The intent of Satan's lies is to inflate one particular set of fears and diminish the perceived value of the Lord's blessings.
Genesis 4: And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, 5 but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. 6 The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted?[b] And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to[c] you, but you must rule over it.”
[b] Hebrew will there not be a lifting up [of your face]?
[c] Or is toward
You do realize that all humans sin right? You could pick a man with all the biblical criteria you want and that man 10 years down the line could cheat one time or become addicted to opioids or gambling. Don’t blame the woman for not choosing wisely.
God can provide for you by dropping a bag of money on the door. Obey the Lord! He will take care of you as His belove daughter. Trust Him.
@@maggiekaykay1 I know this is old so you may not even see it, but like the comment above said "there's always a risk" but choosing wisely minimizes that risk. It is possible but unlikely, that a truly godly man is going to go out and cheat on his wife, especially when he is actively loving God and his wife and she is doing the same. The opioid thing is a little different but today people are much more aware of the effects of those drugs, so they're given out a bit stricter and even if prescribed s wise man would avoid unless necessary. Also, let's not pretend there are no risks in working either. So we can't escape risks, but we can choose to obey God or not.