A Matter of Rank | Doug Wilson
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- Опубликовано: 11 янв 2022
- In this episode of Blog & Mablog, Pastor Doug Wilson continues his series of letters to a fictional nephew about the relationship between the sexes, this time discussing submission, headship and rank.
Enjoying this episode? Check out Doug's audiobook, "How to Exasperate Your Wife and Other Short Essays for Men"
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Blog and Mablog is presented by Canon Press.
"This is why it is essential that you look for a woman who loves the Word of God straight, no chaser. She needs to love the way God ordered the world, she needs to love the respective ranks appointed for husband and wife in the creation order, she needs to love the Scripture’s description of these things, and she needs to respect and love you.
You must avoid, like the proverbial plague, any woman who cherry-picks her way through the Bible. If she has a high view of the permanence of marriage, and a low view of her responsibility to be submissive in that marriage, then the former promises to become your cage, and the latter will be the sound of her throwing away the key." 
Развлечения
Enjoying this episode? Check out Doug's book, "How to Exasperate Your Wife and Other Short Essays for Men"
canonpress.com/products/how-to-exasperate-your-wife/
Growing up in a feminist culture made me so staunchly conservative that I desire to have a godly and wise husband who will be the head of my household.
It's ruined everything it touches... its subtly in the church is where it's the hardest to root out, because of all the indoctrination that's infected the church to be egalitarian and lodged itself with Gospel.
It's made dating difficult in this age. A lady who is willing to follow her husband and be submissive is leagues ahead of the crowd. But that would also mean the man is worthy of pursuit, which is also hard to find for it's various reasons - lack of resolve and wide enough shoulders to bear up her burdens and his.
Here's the thing. My paternal grandfather the Democrat thought women should obey their husbands. My maternal grandfather, the Reagan Republican, thought that wives should run the family.
Lol Hannah when the rubber meets the road the question is, will you do what he wants if you really don't want to? Submission isn't shown in agreeing when you are already on the same page, but when he directs you somewhere that you are resistant to going
@@horrificpleasantry9474 I’m practicing by submitting the word of God even when it sounds contradictory to what I would like to believe. That’s why I pray for a godly and wise man who will lead correctly because it’d be tragic if I’m beholden to the whims of a foolish and weak man😫
"Democrat" meant something very different two generations ago. I take care of 80+ year old people for a living. Most of the democrats are Democrats because of unions and civil rights, they do not support the idea of gay families let alone gay marriage. Some of them like the idea of women being allowed to work and even serving in the government but that is the extent of it 99% of the time. Half the caregivers hate the people they take care of because they said "A woman can't be president!" When Hilary ran haha. I'm not saying that generation had more wisdome than we do, but their culture wasn't quite so averse to truth
These "letters" are better and more biblically based than any 6 week sermon series on marriage/dating/family making the rounds right now. So thankful for Pastor Doug!
That's a little much, don't You think. More Biblically Based than any 6 week sermon series .. as Brother Doug will tell You, We do have Faithfully Obedient Pastors, Preachers, Teachers, etc. Even Doug and the Brethren of the Flowship have these Sermons, giving much more Biblical information than these quick shots, "letters". Big Brother is very Biblical, but this - 'more Biblically Based that Any ... Sermons' - is, with all my Love, just not true. May GOD Bless You and Lead You to other Faithfully Obedient Brethren, just as solid Preaching Sermons, In The Thrice-HOLY CHRIST!!-)
I agree with Kaitlin. I have listened to a lot of teaching on manhood, biblical roles and marriage, this is some of the best content I have ever heard. It's very rare to hear the Bible explained so straightforward from someone who doesn't feel like he has to apologize for what the Lord has said.
@@Chirhopher Yeah I was exaggerating a bit. 🤣 But I do honestly appreciate that these don't have all the fluff and are straight to the point.
Agreed.
This appeals to the intellect and is FAR more edifying than the show put on by the "Christianity tax" funded AMOG poser.
Obviously a stretch but I agree Doug’s ability to make clear the important issues in a concise and helpful manner is astounding
I'm 35 years old. My mom made sure we went to church every Wed and Sun all the way up until I left for college. How did I manage to spend that much time in church and also be a part of the young adults group during college and never hear a message like this? I am so thankful for RUclips so that I can find and hear from men like Doug. If I had Doug or men like Doug to learn from while growing up, I would have been so much better off as a young man during my 20s
I’d hazard a guess that like me, you’ve never been to church. You went to the “religious affiliated social club” and the man on the stage believes in the 11th commandment, thou shalt be nice, and they don’t believe the other 10. Let me guess, they let women speak in your congregation and have authority teaching men?
Probably it was the case that your church simply went with the norms of our feminist society. Since feminists verbally abuse any man who mentions anything about the realities of life between the sexes until he shuts up, pastors get it both barrels non-stop until their either excommunicate the feminists (which almost never happens) or until they cave and stay silent on the issue.
Fear. Women hold 60% of all personal wealth and 75% identify as the primary households financial shopper. You do not piss off the "Sheconomy" and profit from it.
The toxic has infiltrated the churchs, glad you’ve come to the truth now.
Same
Dudes carrying off all of the women's track and feild trophies. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Pastor Doug kills me sometimes!
This is both amazing in one sense and not surprising in another. My ex fiancé left me for the very reason you stated. I was weak and egalitarian in my worldview. There was pain and strife in that relationship.
“It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.”
I still have much maturing to do before I will be worthy to lead a marriage, but I am hopeful to find a God loving and scripture-honoring woman to be my helper in the work he calls me to.
Thank you for your exposition on his word Doug.
Dig in brother. You can't pass up a good woman if she comes your way just because you think you aren't ready. Remember one thing, what you do early on will be the standard for the entirety of your relationship. Dump them after the first date if you get red flags. Don't be scared, God is on your side.
My fiance left, and those of 2/4 of the other fellas in my friend group left them.
Now I'm not saying me and my friends aren't all hilariously deficient, but there's another trend here too...
@@nickembry4537 thanks for the encouragement Nick.
We are fighting against a horrific culture as well brother, there’s nothing wrong with living a single life as well like Paul says.
You dodged a bullet.
As usual, a Scripturally astute and incisive analysis from Pastor Wilson. I wish I’d had teaching like this back in the day. And that line about dudes carrying off the track and field trophies was really funny. Plus the imagery of the “egalitarian porcupine” was decidedly spiky. Well done, sir.
Doug, if I would've had this info 10 years ago I may have not gotten divorced, and if I had it 20 years ago I may not have gotten married! So glad young men have this info now, but how can we take steps to ensure other men don't make the same mistakes?
Every word true!
Thankful for pastors with the spine to speak the Word of God unashamedly in this upside down and backwards societal circus we live in.
God bless you
Doug is one of the few pastors today who preaches biblically to women. Every church I have ever attended seems afraid to.
Angering half your consumer base is usually seen as a challenging idea and most don't want to do it, even though you are speaking truth.
Thank you sir for serving biblical teaching in a world so so starving for this.
It may be heinous to the masses but to those of us who read the book, you simply state what it says. It is appreciated sir.
Stellar. Lord help us to live this honest and faithful to the Kingdom and the Truth. Thank you Pastor Doug.
Good words Pastor.
I have never heard a more brilliant teaching on this topic. Watching clips like this is a naughty treat for me. If I repeated this, I would be met by howls of condemnation, even among 'good' Christians.
This message is pure gold. Thank you for yet another no dross talk, Uncle! God bless you, Pastor Wilson.
What he says about how female mind works is an absolute truth, I don’t understand how he is so insightful!
The Bible
Thanks so much for all you do Pastor Wilson 🙏
Wooosh spitting truth, no holds barred. Absolutely love it
I've been studying this topic in the Bible for years, and reading dozens of blogs and books, and this video series from Doug has been the best and most Biblically accurate
I thought this kind of thing happens in November.
#nojokejanuary
Thanks Uncle Doug
It took me a long time to come to the same conclusion Doug speaks about. Our culture has tainted our views about gender roles. The Holy Spirit needed to work in my heart to develop a Biblical view of my marriage role.
Excellent counsel!!
Great analysis Doug. I would also cite the wisdom of The Four Tops when in the song “ain’t no woman like the one I got“ the verse “I kiss the ground she walks on because it’s my word she obeys“ is stated. That kinda sums it up for me.
Thanks, Uncle Douglas!
Some 36 years ago, I did indeed marry an egalitarian woman, and have long suffered for it. Our children respected our decision to remain married, but chose mates more wisely. Seven grandchildren and counting. Better than we deserve.
Wonderful!! Thank you!
Thanks for the wise words. This quarter I'm trying to teach high school seniors Jane Austen's Persuasion. The delightful couple in that novel, Admiral and Mrs. Croft, demonstrate an ideal, I think. The admiral is secure enough not to mind being taken down a peg by his wife; and she doesn't mind being led by a man who isn't perfect. The scene where Mrs. Croft helps the Admiral keep their gig on the road while he babbles on demonstrates God's grace in marriage brilliantly.
I agree. I reread that one recently, and they have such a beautiful, godly relationship.
Nailed it!
Thanks, Doug.
Very useful observations
Spot on.
This is so good I have to repeat it a few times. Thanks Pastor Doug.
Outch! It hurts! But we need to be reminded of it.
So are these letters from "Uncle Doug" the "Anti-Screwtape Letters?"
I thought these were all filmed on the same day and then noticed it's that Doug wears similar but not same things literally daily. Some shade of blue shirt + sweater vest
Hear, hear! Though for accuracy sake, and for better reception of the rank discussion, I would say the husband and wife relationship is like a lieutenant and sergeant, rather than a lieutenant and an ensign. In the military lieutenants are the leaders that provide vision and marching orders and are the authorities that mete out serious discipline, while the sergeants (the top of the NCO ladder) are the mothers of the troops keeping them fed and shipshape with creative use of chores and more mild discipline, and ensigns are the first level of NCO, barely more than privates. Your teen you trust to babysit the younger siblings while you're out on date night is an ensign.
So good
Dang, seems like this should have been a November video! ;)
Thanks uncle dougie
Interesting I’ve always thought of it as complementarianism or egalitarianism. I never thought there was another view, I’m interested in learning more.
Amen.
These videos are doing for my horizontal theology what discovering Calvanism did for my vertical theology.
Which is mostly wonder how I grew up in the church without hearing something so radical (read Biblical).
Absolutely brilliant. Ill have to remember this quote forever-"If you spend enough energy, money, and time jamming feminism down everyones throat the end result will be a bunch of dudes carrying off all the women's track and field trophies." On the flip side though, I have ran into several non believing unmarried women who totally respect the patriarchal position of the family. Granted, they are for it since its obviously been this way for a semi-functional and healthy society all throughout history but at least theres unbelievers who said the plus with what God has made.
I don’t get this quote.. why track and field?? I don’t think I’m dumb in asking as it’s not an obvious thing. Also, if women are to be the helpmates and the crown of men then why is it not that bad for the men to be doing the supportive work of carrying trophies for the winners of those that compete? It’s really not that clear.
@@austinhembree870 Im not sure if youve been following the news but theres now men with mutilated body parts (maybe better known as "transexual") pretending to be females and dominating female sports.
Okay, I can’t tell if this question is asked in earnest or not, but I am going to answer as if it was. There’s nothing specifically about Track and Field, he just picked a category of sports that Men can always beat women in (which is most of them). And to “carry off” the trophies means that they won them. He’s talking about transgender men competing in women’s sports.
They have been hiding you from my feed again ….
Is it possible to get transcript of this Video?
He’s actually just reading it from his blog. Thats what all of these are: posts on blog and mablog. He decided to make 15 of these “letters to Dawson”. You can find it there
Im a bit fuzzy on the acting like adversaries part. Is Doug talking about only in marriage or in a pre-marital relationship too? If so I’m confused about how that all works considering that until the man is the husband she’s not called to submit to him. Can someone clarify?
Doug, turn up your mic 🎚🎙🔊for the folks in the back of the congregation, will ya? 🗣🗣🗣🗣
The Bible commands women "to be keepers at home." And instead of preaching, teaching, or usurping authority, she's to bear children. "Every wise woman builder up her house. Having babies, raising them and being a homemaker doesn't pay anything. A wife's desire being unto her husband means she's dependent on him for whatever she wants or needs. That's what "your desire shall be unto your husband" means. Being dependent is not fun. Male and female are of equal worth, but the man is in a better position than the woman. That's the curse along with multiplied conception and problems and pain in childbirth...Wilma
Wow. Someone I know shared this with their wife and she started cussing and yelling at him. Did Doug publish something on responsibility of men?
All the time. Search “loving Wives Doug Wilson”.
🔥🔥🔥
Good Ol uncle Doug
How can a Christian man earn a Godly woman’s respect? Or how can we mature as men to be respectable while not becoming arrogant?
This is a good instruction for those few left that are still practicing marriage lol. Imma save it and again spot on Doug! We just have to wait til the ol' pendulum swings back in the favor of procreation in like 50 years lolol
I didn’t really know about the whole submit to your husband thing until she told me. I don’t know what to make her do though, she already does chores and makes all the food 😅
My boss for instance makes random busy work for me to do, that doesn’t really achieve anything but it fills the day up. I do it because he’s the boss but I think a lot of the stuff he has us doing is superfluous.
Domestically speaking I am not like my boss, I feel like I just bring money into the house and she spends it. I treat her sometimes and yeah that’s it.
I really don’t understand how I’m supposed to exercise authority over her, should I just invent things for her to do?
Not at all on the busy work.
Sounds like your relationship is already functioning fairly well domestically.
And a lot of that may be her willingness to live her God ordained role, without you even realizing it.
A lot of leadership is in those you lead knowing they can depend on you, trust you, know that you will have their back when needed, but discipline/correct also when needed.
If you have that, then they will follow more willingly than if you are unreliable, selfish, etc.
It is your job to ensure the spiritual growth of the family.
An example where one might need to exercise authority in that realm.
Your church goes woke, starts teaching heresy, etc.
You know you need to leave after discussing it with the church leadership and they are unwilling to repent and change.
But she loves the programs, music, etc. and wants to stay.
First try to convince her and show/teach her what the problem is so she is willingly on board, but if not ultimately that is your decision and hers to submit to.
Or maybe in regards to work.
Say you’re required to compromise your principles/beliefs and you need quit, but are going to have to take a lower paying job.
She wants you to stay for the additional income, and threatens with all kinds of nasty consequences.
Again, you try to convince her so she is on board and supportive, but ultimately you have to do what is necessary.
And it may not even be a bad situation at work, just are going to take a different career path.
You should accept her input and weigh it, and maybe you change your mind based on her input.
But if not, it is your ultimate decision, not hers.
But again, as a good leader you will have the best interests of those you lead in mind.
And maybe they are correct and you should heed their input.
But maybe you have a longer view in mind that they can’t fully comprehend, in which case you should try to fully explain it to get them on board.
But their bests interests, doesn’t necessarily mean them always getting their way.
I am the breadwinner for our family, and my wife manages the home.
She also pays the bills.
She does an excellent job of it, and child rearing.
I am pretty hands off of with her homemaking as there is no need to nit pick.
Even when she has a day she doesn’t feel like making dinner, it doesn’t bother me. I’m a big boy, if can help out when needed (usually involves take out, lol).
I quit my good paying corporate job in 2017 to go into business for myself.
Which included us moving from OH back to her home state of NC.
She was very supportive of the entire change and move.
But I had also demonstrated my reliability, and my care and love for our family, for 17 years at that point.
And fully laid out the plan for the transition, income and our future, so she could feel more secure.
I didn’t just communicate nothing, and tell her I’m the boss that’s why.
And all women are going to test their man.
In the moment they want you to cave so they can have their way when there is a contentious disagreement on a decision.
But in the long run, they will lose some respect if you give in, especially if that decision ends up being a mistake.
They will blame you, at least mentally, for not stopping them.
👏👏👏👏🙏🙏
Who's Dawson?
His continuing imaginary "letters to a nephew" that this series on relationships is constructed as
@@horrificpleasantry9474 so Dawson is his nephew or is he just making it up?
@@doctrinalwatchdog6268 I think it's made up but I wouldn't know if it's an actual name of his nephew, I'm not familiar enough
@@horrificpleasantry9474 hopefully he's not exposing his own nephews issues online. Or Maybe Dawson is a made up name to protect the identity of the family member ,🤷
@@doctrinalwatchdog6268 that's why I think it's made up
Can a Christian woman test you in the same way that you’re describing?
Excellent! So many jump on that one Galatians 3 scripture about there being no male or female in Christ and dismiss every other scripture in the Bible that speaks about gender dynamics in hierarchical terms. Galatians is about The Gospel of Salvation, and how it’s equally accessible by everyone. A gentile need not become a Jew, a female need not become a male, a slave need not become a freeman. All are equally saved through One Faith, One Baptism, One Christ. We are all ONE in Christ. The worst part about all of this is that we have so-called grown men in Christ in leadership positions with phds and decades of experience spouting absolute nonsense in regards to God’s Standard for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. They don’t fear at all the logical conclusions of their hollow premise. If there is no male or female in Christ, then why not permit homosexuals to marry or men to transform themselves into the image of women and vice versa? Why respect Romans 1 when you can just explain it all away with Galatians 3? Easy answer: you can’t, because there are a thousand pages of insight to scour through and digest to help get to the actual understanding of what these passages mean (some of the passages being so direct and clear that it has to be a satanic and willful ignorance to dismiss it). Thank you Pastor Wilson.
Mic drop
If A man would be dating A woman under the supervision of the 4 parents and for the purpose to reveal each other their knowledge of the scriptures then the result is 3 families living in peace forever because they know the truth: God's promises for blessing and cursing stands FOREVER.
All of the sudden the SABBATH becomes extremely important when the future of your children is at stake.
What do you mean by your last sentence?
For all these reasons, I’m so glad I got divorced. Now, if I can communicate this to my children before they get married.
The Word of God is living and active. Can’t have this kind of wisdom without.
This is a comment from a bible theological teacher I attend weekly and would like some feedback about it. I sent this over to him for his listening, knowing he would disagree with Doug. He stated the following:. "weak eisegesis ! lacks general biblical basis, theological criticism, and pyscholoical applications are entertaining, but mundane to male vs female, male vs male , female to female..
Good representation of fundamentalist posturing, Patriarchy has come to an end. Why not find a position that represent the teaching of Christ ? Not one mention to Jesus or the Gospel !"
@@jaredcrusen3072 yes he did and he cannot develop this with this type of forum. I'll search to get his exegesis of these things but I have no doubt, I am just putting this out for some input is all. Thanks Jared!
If women are not to lead men in the home; how about in Church? What about Deborah? She was a judge over national Israel. Here in Asia people call some women , "Pastora".
I had same question.
I believe in the home my husband is the leader but I also think women can lead in church to an extent.
@@janae6524 1 Timothy 2:12
@@janae6524 they are explicitly forbidden, 1 Corinthians 11
@@horrificpleasantry9474 Do all women in your church cover their head?? If not, you're 'cherrypicking your way through the bible' by using 1 Corinthians 11 only partially.
@@aallen5256 I think you are the cherry picker
WOMEN HAVE NO RANK said Napolean
What if you can't find a biblical woman? Something has to give. One way or the other.. If a man can be relatively good, bad or something in between and woman has to accept it. Then the woman can be relatively good , bad or something in between.
Uncle mike isn’t so harsh on complimentarians but thinks the core advice is sound!
One tinsy winsy snag dougie......where others just state the "curse" YOU CELEBRATE IT CAUSE YOU ARE A MALE; never a MAN
With the term "tinsy winsy" you don't sound like a man.
but from what i see of how u interact with your wife and your family, u aren't super patriachal in the way u describe. i'm all for strong men, proper masculinity; but that should not end up in some kind of male cult worship. i wonder if language is limiting the concept you're trying to communicate; or that you are trying all u can to say spicy things against the present zeitgeist.
" Submissive" is the problem. Dr. Bruce Stokes has tried to get the NASB to change that word to its true meaning which is " entrust." The same Greek word is used when the Gospels mention Jesus did not " entrust" himself to the crowd for he knew their intentions..."
Imagine teaching women to entrust themselves ( women transferred their power...much like Christ entrusted Himself to the Father's will) to their husbands instead of submitting.
It means the same thing though?
an argument of splitting hairs. Still doesn't change the fact the husband leads and the wife follows.
@Alicia Couldnt agree more. The woman has the power in the marriage. She either trusts God and entrust herself to a husband who has a deep faith in God and His design for the family or falls prey to the need to control the man out of her fear he is not a good and capable man.
@@jamesc7526 Except we all have a free will to choose God's ways or our own. No woman should get married to a man she would not be willingly able to entrust herself to. But if she does entrust or "submit" she is "submitting" to the authority that God has ordained for the family. In other words. DONT GET MARRIED TO AN IDIOT MAN WHO IS WEAK IN HIS FAITH.
@@greenghost6416 Not really. Thats like saying motivation and encouragement are the same.
I look at submission to men as, "Giving them all the rope they think they want."
Sounds like you're a massive red flag for discerning men to avoid
@@horrificpleasantry9474 Sounds like you're rightfully single...
@@horrificpleasantry9474 Sorry to disappoint. I've been married for 40 years to one and only one man. I'm a good submissive wife, just like I should be. Sounds to me like you want all the authority but none of the responsibility. A woman can give you the rope, but it's still your responsibility not to hang yourself with it.
@@malissiajones7761 it's the way you said that that sounded really bad. Like authority is a trap
@@horrificpleasantry9474 It IS a trap in many senses of the word. Eve was cursed and we suffer the results of that curse as women. But the very ground was cursed because Adam didn't take responsibility and chose rather to metaphorically hang you all. The only way out of that trap is for a man to face and take that responsibility and stop laying blame because they can't handle all that rope without tripping over it and hanging themselves.
I’m an atheist but I need a woman who believes this stuff. Are there any single ladies out there who need a man to lead them ?