It's power in letting go and freedom in moving on. You find power and strength by spending time with the Lord, once you realize your power, you will stay gone.
I had this happen before. I got pregnant. Big mistakes. I didn't give it enough time to see if he actually changed. I let him know it wasn't going to work but let him stay until the baby was born. I saved money and worked on healing and stopped sleeping with him. I learned so much the hard way. Now I help other women heal through my books and RUclips channel.
Beautiful message and testimony! May I politely ask, how did you get started with your book? I have so much to say, that is so hurtful, while also delivering a message. Thank you in advance.
@ Love Yourself First with Krystle Thanks for sharing your expenses; These men have a lot of Gaul and don’t fee guilt I’m learning how to stop being a ppl pleaser and not letting my soon to be ex continue to walk over me
Not gonna lie I miss my soon to be ex husband But I don’t miss: The lying The asthma exacerbations The migraines The tears The chest pain The sleepless nights The panic of feeling obligation to keep sleeping w him to calm his mood and “keep” my marriage After leaving almost all of this has significantly been reduced or been eliminated altogether
I can’t do it. My life ain’t no 90s rap song or Soap Opera. We ain’t breaking up to make up and weaving a big old trauma bond. I’m tyed and many other women are too. Once it’s over it is finished.
Ladies, when Tony say you gone go through something please don’t assume that something is cheating. A lot of times we try to take words and apply them to our broken situation. In the beginning of a relationship you may have to sort through some things with your partner, but you should NEVER have to go through the same thing with the same person consistently. At that point, they just don’t care.. choose you!
Supported him thru 2 rehabs, helped him get his CDL and forgave the cheating and he still wouldn't do right! I changed the locks and divorced him that was 10yrs ago. God is great! He said let him go ! I have my degree and forgave him AND myself. I have moved past the pain and anger. Ladies do the work: self love, awareness leads to a deeper relationship with God! Butterflies are meant to fly not be controlled!
I'm choosing peace this year TG lol. If a man had to leave me.. it's best if he stays gone. Now if I had to leave him that may be different but still.. if I had to leave then I need to stay gone lol. We're getting older and have less time for foolishness and multiple chances. Humans only do what they're allowed to
Tony, you are always right on time. This just happened to me today. I’m so irritated with myself for even letting him come back. He only made it a week 🙃
@@OrganicallyYahs At least he held up longer than mine 😂 lol but I agree 🫶🏾 I’m learning to give myself grace. It’s never too late to start anew 🙌🏾 we got this!
@@louuuuuu813 indeed! I took a quick trip to the next state over to hang with my good sis! I’m cultivating peace and doing my spiritual healing. I trust God knows best.
@@OrganicallyYahs I am so sorry that you experienced that. I pray that your health is restored and you experience spiritual renewal. As for me, I do trust God has protected me from that relationship.
Great video....I think God has to be in the heart of the man who returns and he shows it with consistent words and actions....God can change any of us but all of us ain't living in accordance to God's will. If he returns, he must love and serve God more than this world and all its temptations.
Excellent advice!! Tony thank you for being here for us who have no male figures (my brother is dead and my father is too religious) to give us THE REAL OR THE WHAT TO DO in case of...! The last thing females should do is listen to other females sometimes.
Thank you Tony I'm there now I had to leave he was an emotionally unavailable man would not change I had to leave. I really stayed to long trying to make it work like you said some men are to broken.
I’m 22 years old. And I’m so happy I just learned early. Once it’s over it’s over. Doubling back will have you drained. Some people will never grow up at all. Most guys these days it’s literally just they character.
Going thru it right now and trying to leave by this weekend. God give me strength. I needed to know it’s better for me to leave when he isn’t there, but was uncertain. God answered me thru you to tell me leave when he isn’t there. Stay blessed. Thank you.
Sometimes that female who is on the bad end of the deal doesn’t have the patience or strength to go another round. After losing oneself, being agreeable and looking to make “things” peaceful…..it’s just draining to re-visit the scene of the crime. 😔Fil- let mig on😂😂
When he said the first thing you got to do is analyze what he did! And I feel like god and doing that has been keeping me on a straight narrow path. I realize all the disrespect that came from him soon as he think he about to get a response from blowing me up and contact my family. I tell them to block him and I keep it pushing literally. I don’t even remember the good times anymore because all I remember is the bad! That boy played in my face and I can’t believe it but I appreciate him for it cause if he didn’t I’ll be still stuck. I needed that Lesson & still wish him the best!
Number one when a woman gets to a certain age, we ain't going back and forth on no bs. That's why you wait for a period of time before even sleeping with a man, just to make sure he's the right man. So there are no regrets in the end. I have been conversing and hanging out with a guy who older than me, but has had a player past. Which I don't and didn't judge , due to his honesty. But I'm 58 and he's 62. We work out together and have deep wonderful conversations, but I'm still just observing his behavior and conversations to make sure he stays honest. We all have a past, but when a man shares those things that he doesn't have to with you , that's a great sign of trust, so even when and if he messes up don't throw up his past. Just sit back and observe and if necessary, have the discussion., If it doesn't change just respectfully end the relationship.. Love the commentary ❤
This is such great advice. This pausing thing would have saved me a lot of trouble in the past. Tony, thank you again for sharing your wisdom with us who still have a lot of growing to do. 🙌🏻❤
Thanks Tony. Am experiencing something to this matter as we speak and am remembering you saying one time how telling a man no can almost make his eye balls pop out his head🤦🏽♀️but it is what it is👍🏽
That's why i love this channel so much. You give sound realistic advice.. It's not that easy just to leave and be done..i think when the person gets fed up enough they'll leave.
Thank you Tony! 🙏🏽 This is the stuff fathers should be teaching daughters. It’s so imperative. A lot of women have been taught to leave at the drop of a hat. Learning to work through something is hard, but when you love someone, or think you do anyway, it happens. 🙏🏽
Tony will you please consider doing a video to advise women who are married to high earring and/or ambitions men like yourself? Maybe share tips on ways to best support them, other women testing/trying them, and remaining the prize? Thanks so much! 🙏🏽
Exactly what happened to me Had to get another order of protection after cancelling the one last year My grandmother keeps trying to convince me to fight for my marriage But my soon to be ex husband as HE filed for divorce not me is continuing to say it’s nothing he needs to change
A leopard doesn’t change his spots. Some women are too desperate. Ladies, please get some hobbies or something. Focus on developing yourself. Ladies please focus on yourself and your job etc
WHAT WOMEN NEED - They don't care unless it is important They are immersed in self-discovery now They want to protect their sense of purpose from social influences They feel happier when alone Isolating empowers them Their brutal honesty can drive people away They want to be unbothered They function better alone They can't vibe with others anyway They can't live without inner peace
Preach Tony! They way you break stuff down have me 😂😂😂!!! ✔Thank you for keeping it all the way realsaying that it ain't that easy! ✔@Tony You're right! I've been an Educator since 2000. I am a contractor for a tutoring company as well. Last year I spent 2 appointments w/a Middle Eastern family. The mom wanted to get the son diagnosed so bad that something was wrong, & I was her last hope! Shw wanted to coerce me into saying something is wrong! I told her the only thing wrong with him is that he's bored & she had an age gap between the six yr old & the teen. She said he was her oops baby! Homegirl told the sgency for me to 🛑 tutoring her son b/c I told her ain't nothing wrong with her son other than he's bored! The ONLY UNFORTUNATE THING is that our Black aons are disproportionately misdiagnosed because we are so creative & animated & are Black men are bored! ✔You're right! With my ex-husband, my therapist helped me with an Exit Strategy!
Hi Tony, you talk sense many times over. Thank you for your education. What if you have blocked the guy for over a year but he pops up unexpectedly but you keep your goal of no contact and he still pops up through other people like another girl or your best friend who is 55 years old. And your best friend thinks you burdened her with the matter again and she blocks you a second time. And you know its not your fault, he keeps coming back. So, how to deal with a situation like that? Huh? It hurts to know your best friend blocks you coz of this matter. 😢😢
I’m currently pregnant 🤰🏾 with his child & when I told him about it he told me that also his bm got pregnant the same time as me with is 3rd child so we both at the same time pregnant & we were not together the whole time just messing around , & he wants to be with me 🙄. I said no & he’s upset now , we are not talking right now at the moment & I just wanna terminate the pregnancy , He’s been stressing me out. 😩 and this is not where i wanna be in right now.
This is a lot. I pray you make the best decision for yourself. Go into this as if you are going to be raising your child by yourself. Thinking anything else may have you disappointed.
I left him over 2 month unblocked him had small talk He said he was nerves later said he was new improved.Should I believe him yes Im watching. today is day 4….Hmmm ❓
His actions will prove it, nothing more, nothing less. And if he shows those same signs, I would correct him right then. You don’t get that many chances
These are the steps
1. Stay gone
2. Be gone
3. Don’t look back
4. He’s not checking for you, he just needs a warm body
5. Just don’t
Say That!!!!
Step 1.... Don't let him come back! There are no other steps after that.
Bingo
@@wonderfullyrenee and that is a true high five lady! lol
Exactly!!! 👀
💯 NEVER take them back.
Hello
If they don’t change they don’t want to. Believe actions not words. Words lie, actions do not. That’s all.
I got so sick of mines pretending to change, I blocked him & disappeared. Door permanently closed!
I feel like this is the only way to deal with it…
What if y'all had a child? Same outcome ?
It's power in letting go and freedom in moving on. You find power and strength by spending time with the Lord, once you realize your power, you will stay gone.
Yes yes yes & YES! God been giving me strength
Jackpot comment. 💯💪🏾
🎯
I had this happen before. I got pregnant. Big mistakes. I didn't give it enough time to see if he actually changed. I let him know it wasn't going to work but let him stay until the baby was born. I saved money and worked on healing and stopped sleeping with him. I learned so much the hard way. Now I help other women heal through my books and RUclips channel.
Beautiful message and testimony! May I politely ask, how did you get started with your book? I have so much to say, that is so hurtful, while also delivering a message.
Thank you in advance.
@ Love Yourself First with Krystle
Thanks for sharing your expenses;
These men have a lot of Gaul and don’t fee guilt
I’m learning how to stop being a ppl pleaser and not letting my soon to be ex continue to walk over me
Good for you love!!
Not gonna lie I miss my soon to be ex husband
But I don’t miss:
The lying
The asthma exacerbations
The migraines
The tears
The chest pain
The sleepless nights
The panic of feeling obligation to keep sleeping w him to calm his mood and “keep” my marriage
After leaving almost all of this has significantly been reduced or been eliminated altogether
I can’t do it. My life ain’t no 90s rap song or Soap Opera. We ain’t breaking up to make up and weaving a big old trauma bond. I’m tyed and many other women are too. Once it’s over it is finished.
Exactly we should not have to put up with being mistreated just Leave you go your way and im going mine.
Ladies, when Tony say you gone go through something please don’t assume that something is cheating. A lot of times we try to take words and apply them to our broken situation. In the beginning of a relationship you may have to sort through some things with your partner, but you should NEVER have to go through the same thing with the same person consistently. At that point, they just don’t care.. choose you!
Supported him thru 2 rehabs, helped him get his CDL and forgave the cheating and he still wouldn't do right! I changed the locks and divorced him that was 10yrs ago. God is great! He said let him go ! I have my degree and forgave him AND myself. I have moved past the pain and anger. Ladies do the work: self love, awareness leads to a deeper relationship with God! Butterflies are meant to fly not be controlled!
I've been in this situation before. Thank God I learned my lesson and walked away
Whew! This is literally what I'm dealing with. He didn't change and he's not gonna change while I'm in his life. 😅
I'm choosing peace this year TG lol. If a man had to leave me.. it's best if he stays gone. Now if I had to leave him that may be different but still.. if I had to leave then I need to stay gone lol. We're getting older and have less time for foolishness and multiple chances. Humans only do what they're allowed to
Working on my exit and counting the days.
Tony, you are always right on time. This just happened to me today. I’m so irritated with myself for even letting him come back. He only made it a week 🙃
@@OrganicallyYahs At least he held up longer than mine 😂 lol but I agree 🫶🏾 I’m learning to give myself grace. It’s never too late to start anew 🙌🏾 we got this!
Same! 😢
He was holding that mask up for a while though… from November/December-April 5. I am so disappointed in myself.
@@AmsaH5 You are not alone
@@louuuuuu813 indeed! I took a quick trip to the next state over to hang with my good sis! I’m cultivating peace and doing my spiritual healing. I trust God knows best.
@@OrganicallyYahs I am so sorry that you experienced that. I pray that your health is restored and you experience spiritual renewal. As for me, I do trust God has protected me from that relationship.
My ex is a narcissist and old playboy that just got played out ! Blocked and NC for 6 months ! I miss him but it's for the best .
Key word man ✨ he has to be a grown man, not a grown boy
I love me some Tony Gaskins!! Keepin it real and also makin me laugh. Keep rockin it!!
Great video....I think God has to be in the heart of the man who returns and he shows it with consistent words and actions....God can change any of us but all of us ain't living in accordance to God's will. If he returns, he must love and serve God more than this world and all its temptations.
Excellent advice!! Tony thank you for being here for us who have no male figures (my brother is dead and my father is too religious) to give us THE REAL OR THE WHAT TO DO in case of...! The last thing females should do is listen to other females sometimes.
Thank you Tony I'm there now I had to leave he was an emotionally unavailable man would not change I had to leave. I really stayed to long trying to make it work like you said some men are to broken.
I’m 22 years old. And I’m so happy I just learned early. Once it’s over it’s over. Doubling back will have you drained. Some people will never grow up at all. Most guys these days it’s literally just they character.
Going thru it right now and trying to leave by this weekend. God give me strength. I needed to know it’s better for me to leave when he isn’t there, but was uncertain. God answered me thru you to tell me leave when he isn’t there. Stay blessed. Thank you.
Sometimes that female who is on the bad end of the deal doesn’t have the patience or strength to go another round. After losing oneself, being agreeable and looking to make “things” peaceful…..it’s just draining to re-visit the scene of the crime. 😔Fil- let mig on😂😂
I would say if this is happening in the 'early' stages of dating or if you're engaged to them, just go ahead and walk away. ➡️
This message is right on target! I know this to be 100% true! I’ve experienced. Thank God I learned my lesson and cut him off. No Contact!
We need a live on this topic
Great idea! It’s so common the way it’s happening.
Around 8:55 time stamp when TG says “this ain’t no Filet Mig-non!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 LOL! This dude is hilarious!!!
When he said the first thing you got to do is analyze what he did! And I feel like god and doing that has been keeping me on a straight narrow path. I realize all the disrespect that came from him soon as he think he about to get a response from blowing me up and contact my family. I tell them to block him and I keep it pushing literally. I don’t even remember the good times anymore because all I remember is the bad! That boy played in my face and I can’t believe it but I appreciate him for it cause if he didn’t I’ll be still stuck. I needed that Lesson & still wish him the best!
Number one when a woman gets to a certain age, we ain't going back and forth on no bs. That's why you wait for a period of time before even sleeping with a man, just to make sure he's the right man. So there are no regrets in the end. I have been conversing and hanging out with a guy who older than me, but has had a player past. Which I don't and didn't judge , due to his honesty. But I'm 58 and he's 62. We work out together and have deep wonderful conversations, but I'm still just observing his behavior and conversations to make sure he stays honest. We all have a past, but when a man shares those things that he doesn't have to with you , that's a great sign of trust, so even when and if he messes up don't throw up his past. Just sit back and observe and if necessary, have the discussion., If it doesn't change just respectfully end the relationship.. Love the commentary ❤
Thank you for sharing. Glory to God. Very timely.
TELL HIM BYE AND NEVER LOOK BACK.
These 3 videos is the freest game on the internet. I would hire you if the opportunity present itself because you got discernment
This is such great advice. This pausing thing would have saved me a lot of trouble in the past. Tony, thank you again for sharing your wisdom with us who still have a lot of growing to do. 🙌🏻❤
Thanks Tony. Am experiencing something to this matter as we speak and am remembering you saying one time how telling a man no can almost make his eye balls pop out his head🤦🏽♀️but it is what it is👍🏽
That's why i love this channel so much. You give sound realistic advice.. It's not that easy just to leave and be done..i think when the person gets fed up enough they'll leave.
I had that to happen, tried to make it work, but he had not changed.
It happened to me…BE CAREFUL ladies!
This was right on time!
Do you males not feel.pain?? This is why it took me so long to get that you all actually have feelings.
Thank you Tony! 🙏🏽 This is the stuff fathers should be teaching daughters. It’s so imperative. A lot of women have been taught to leave at the drop of a hat. Learning to work through something is hard, but when you love someone, or think you do anyway, it happens. 🙏🏽
Thanks for sharing your knowledge with me.
You’ve helped me in a very big way and now I’m at a very good place.
Dealing in reality!! Absolutely Tony!!💯
Tony will you please consider doing a video to advise women who are married to high earring and/or ambitions men like yourself? Maybe share tips on ways to best support them, other women testing/trying them, and remaining the prize? Thanks so much! 🙏🏽
God has given you a big blessing with such a sharp tongue! 👍🏼
Thank you so much Tony great advice peace and blessings to you and your family ❤🙏🏽✌️👍
I’m not going to waste time on that anymore. Be there done that. Lessons Learned.
I so needed to see this videos
Iistening, Shella!
Talk about perfect timing
Exactly what happened to me
Had to get another order of protection after cancelling the one last year
My grandmother keeps trying to convince me to fight for my marriage
But my soon to be ex husband as HE filed for divorce not me is continuing to say it’s nothing he needs to change
So let’s talk about HOW the man tries to come back!!!
What has he done to get back in the door? 🙋🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️ JS
whole time you thinking about pizza hut😂🤣🤣 this is nothing to you Thankyou for the game!!!! 🙌🏾
Thank you Tony❤
You gotta do Dominos Tony. They always have that 6.99 special going on daily for most menu items.
That cheesy bread is 🔥🤣🤣🤣
Forward ever! Backwards never!
A leopard doesn’t change his spots. Some women are too desperate. Ladies, please get some hobbies or something. Focus on developing yourself. Ladies please focus on yourself and your job etc
The games analogy omg 😳
Pizza Hut NC doing me n my daughter in2,,,,Loved the ending talked out your righteous mind Dey sholl will finesse yur right out ur undies😂😂😂
Perfect timing!!
Coming back where? Shut that door😂😂
Step back. Step left, Steo left about Face step forward..step away.
WHAT WOMEN NEED -
They don't care unless it is important
They are immersed in self-discovery now
They want to protect their sense of purpose from social influences
They feel happier when alone
Isolating empowers them
Their brutal honesty can drive people away
They want to be unbothered
They function better alone
They can't vibe with others anyway
They can't live without inner peace
Preach Tony! They way you break stuff down have me 😂😂😂!!!
✔Thank you for keeping it all the way realsaying that it ain't that easy!
✔@Tony You're right! I've been an Educator since 2000. I am a contractor for a tutoring company as well. Last year I spent 2 appointments w/a Middle Eastern family. The mom wanted to get the son diagnosed so bad that something was wrong, & I was her last hope! Shw wanted to coerce me into saying something is wrong! I told her the only thing wrong with him is that he's bored & she had an age gap between the six yr old & the teen. She said he was her oops baby! Homegirl told the sgency for me to 🛑 tutoring her son b/c I told her ain't nothing wrong with her son other than he's bored! The ONLY UNFORTUNATE THING is that our Black aons are disproportionately misdiagnosed because we are so creative & animated & are Black men are bored!
✔You're right! With my ex-husband, my therapist helped me with an Exit Strategy!
I never back track. When it's over, it's over.
AMEN
After he left repeatedly I ended marriage and he went and moved in with another woman and slept with her now he's moved back in I can't forgive
Good video as always 👍
Hi Tony, you talk sense many times over. Thank you for your education. What if you have blocked the guy for over a year but he pops up unexpectedly but you keep your goal of no contact and he still pops up through other people like another girl or your best friend who is 55 years old. And your best friend thinks you burdened her with the matter again and she blocks you a second time. And you know its not your fault, he keeps coming back. So, how to deal with a situation like that? Huh? It hurts to know your best friend blocks you coz of this matter. 😢😢
Amen!
I’m currently pregnant 🤰🏾 with his child & when I told him about it he told me that also his bm got pregnant the same time as me with is 3rd child so we both at the same time pregnant & we were not together the whole time just messing around , & he wants to be with me 🙄. I said no & he’s upset now , we are not talking right now at the moment & I just wanna terminate the pregnancy , He’s been stressing me out. 😩 and this is not where i wanna be in right now.
Pray to Almighty God and ask Him for guidance and direction in what you should do, in Jesus Powerful Name. Amen
This is a lot. I pray you make the best decision for yourself. Go into this as if you are going to be raising your child by yourself. Thinking anything else may have you disappointed.
A natc will not change.
😂ya mans working for the other side when they already work against the way shit should be. 😂😂😂CLOWN
If a man is seeing what he can get away with, isn't that "man" acting like a child ? 😭
Sick.... !!! Tony feel free send me advice please
Male and femalfriends have issues too
If women didn't let men come back he wouldn't be happily married right 😂😂😂😂😂.. talk about what you know not what you've heard
WHEW 😮💨👏🏾👏🏾
Texting another woman is equivalent to cheating, i feel like i caught you before you cheated. So id say leave
Do they always come back?
I want to say nope, not always. Lol but all my exes have come back, except one.
Why take him back if he left your not the one
He cant come back. He blocked on everything
I left him over 2 month unblocked him had small talk He said he was nerves later said he was new improved.Should I believe him yes Im watching. today is day 4….Hmmm ❓
His actions will prove it, nothing more, nothing less. And if he shows those same signs, I would correct him right then. You don’t get that many chances
🙌🏻🎉
What if it's. 10?
🎉
💯💯💯😘😅
❤✨
Do last someone drag you. Juzt leave. Its a big waste of time.
I don't even want him back
😂😂😂😂
Nope...only three steps.... block and delete...then go about your business
🤔🏙️
I had to put porn blocker on my phone and his
OMG... just get to the point 🤦🏾♀️
There's only 1 step 🫸🏽