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Dating advice from my dad
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- Опубликовано: 30 янв 2022
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Off-topic, but I am happy that you are speaking to your dad again.
I thought this too! It was obviously the right time.
Me too! I don't think there's anything wrong with cutting ties with family when the relationship isn't making you happy, but it can be such a bummer. I hope this means they were able to reconcile on the tough subjects in a way that didn't compromise what was important to Anna.
@@Rikku147 Word. Most of the time there is a solution, you just have to work through it. No one likes cutting ties with family
same, i was pleseantly suprised
@@Rikku147 I think you should only cut ties with your family a last resort. Family is important and whether you like it or not, you will always be family. In the worst of time, they are the only people who you can ever count on. Even if they make you unhappy, I don't think that's a good enough reason by itself to cut ties.
There is a old saying "You learn more about someone by those around them" - Type of friends, family dynamic, and career environment - All are part of the whole person
What if the mother tells they guy to pick a woman who's more submissive
Family, you're stuck with, but friends and career, you chose those.
True.
No... You can cut them off if it's bad nobody said your stuck eith them.
It says more about that person if their stuck with them and didnt cut them off and how they hage no boundaries
i think the tip "no sex in the first month or so" is about keeping your mind clear from all the hormones like oxytocin etc that give you the illusion of closeness and connection. those hormones are produced when you have sex and might cloud your judgement and you might attach to someone, that you would have never considered if you examined him from a clear headed perspective. you need a minimum of time to get to know someone truly (and do all the cyberstalking), so better get to know all his dark secrets first before you get yourself high on (and maybe even addicted to) attachment hormones.
Makes perfect sense. Great perspective of that tip!
Are you a fan of Cinema Therapy, the RUclips channel?
Agreed! Also women are typically more affected by oxytocin in sex than men are.
the thing is... do you know a guy who waits for a month ? not many...
@@lafemmesanspseudo7840 If a person isn't willing to wait that long, they aren't worth having. And this is a man's perspective, for whatever that's worth.
Subtle thing about number 5:
Letting you choose but having thoughtful ideas ready.
From a decade of marriage I’ve learned that my wife likes when I’ve put in the effort to research our evening out even she has the final decision.
Totally agree, present options and prepare date propositions
then let them choose, but, *say if they don't choose this and this will be the default option* .
@@vlachy most important is to show the thought involved.
Having careless or selfish options is a pretty significant red flag.
On the other hand coming up with ideas that show knowledge of the other person and interest in making that person happy is good.
@@EtruskenRaider Can't agree more, I kind of thought that's obvious, but now that you wrote it I realize it isn't and needed to be said, thank you :-)
i too have been married for 10 years and "having ideas" for an evening isn't the man's role, solely. If women complain about a guy not having any ideas of what to do, why can't they ever provide said ideas either?
@@user-hd8ej8yx9p Because women want to be courted. It makes feminine women feel cared about. If she is always coming up with the ideas, it starts to feel like she is courting you, and it puts her in charge and it makes her feel like the masculine one, which is not natural for her, which destroys sexual polarity. Obviously she can come up with plans too, but it ruins the sexual polarity if you don't like to do it and are complaining about it.
As a dad, I will there are a few pieces of advice I will give my kids when they get to the dating age:
1) Pay attention to how that person treats others they may consider "beneath" them. Are they rude to the server at the restaurant? Do they constantly talk negatively about someone who isn't around? If so, it's a good indicator of how they will treat you later in the relationship.
2) Pay attention to how that person reacts in stressful situations. Do they lash out and get angry? Do they blame others for the problem? Or do they remain calm, kind, and collected to overcome the problem?
3) When it comes to sex, make sure the other person *deserves* to have that pleasure. The other person should feel just as lucky as you do. Sex should never be an expectation from either person if the other person isn't into it. This also relates to consent, which can be revoked at any time.
4) The relationship should be fun and make them happy. If they are not happy most of the time, and it is not fun, it's not a healthy relationship. But I will *NEVER* tell them who to date or not date and that they can always come to me without any judgment.
Also people need to understand that in order to not be into it (like to have sex yet or something) someone doesn't have to be completely uncomfortable, they shouldn't be expected to have sex with you if they're even a tad bit uncomfortable with doing it before a certain point in the relationship or something.
Yes, but I think people can really keep up the veneer of a persona so number 1 can be easy to fake - and fool you (most people know to be polite when trying to make a good impression), but number 2 not so much!!! In hindsight it was so obvious how my ex freaked out in relatively minor hiccups (we missed our train stop, he yelled and made a scene), but I just made excuses for him. Never make excuses for their anger/outbursts!
Regarding point 4, I feel like a relationship shouldn't be all about being happy. A relationship is all about supporting each other and helping each other to grow as a person. (of course a relationship is also not all about being miserable). I say this because many people have this false impression that if I'm not happy in my relationship all the time, then my partner is not Mr. Right and I need to leave him. That sabotages any effort to improve each other and gives a sense of entitlement that I deserve everything while ignoring my own red flags
Watching Anna, I have accumulated way too much dating advice I never get to use
We're the best eligible folks around!.. 😅
Same lmao let's start a club
How do I Join? 😂😂
@@jenniferlopez901 well if JLo is in the club, the rest of us are really screwed 😅
Why not? Cause you’re already married?
Otherwise the world is full of people to date 😉
A tip from my parents from back in the day when I started dating: Pay attention to how they treat people they have power over. If they're rude and dismissive to waitstaff they will eventually be rude and dismissive to you.
I am the father of a young daughter. When she is old enough to date that will one of my top tips to her about dating.
@@danjoseph6045 Solid call.
In fairness I think it also applies to more than just potential partners too. If a new friend, a potential employer, or colleague acts that way we're all better off of we pay attention to that info.
I don’t know :/ I had a bf super nice to strangers and waitstaff but was a jerk to me with words behind curtains.
Edit: this is not to say the advice isn’t good it’s just not infallible
@@LatIenws Same! I think they know better than to show their colors that way, especially when this is such well-known advice it's almost common sense. I think these types do show their rudeness in less obvious moments - like with acquaintances/people that they are not necessarily close to, particularly if they are tired, hungry, etc. I noticed that with my ex, like when he put down the dinner his friend's gf made (which was delicious), despite the effort she had put into it
they dont have power over anyone. hows it possible you got advice on this from your dad? the only thing my parents ever did was tell me most people end up getting dicorced. which is so not true at all otherwise nobody would marry someone today
Never underestimate the importance of "research" when considering a relationship. It is astounding how much information you dig up. (whispers) And... they'll ... never ... know....
I don't understand Anti conspiracy theory.. often those are the same people who say the current system in power is systemically corrupt.
But instead of looking for most direct testible verifiable information AKA scientific method they go in cult mentality on sources who says what and only legit Sources are from the very systems they say are Corrupt. How do they manage that cognitive dissonance
@Victoria Hanshaw I agree... digging up stuff about someone rarely gives any real benefits... like what, you wanna know as much as you can about someone in advance so you can modify your character to match theirs? I get that you could find red flags, but it’s very easy to misinterpret things and make up your own conclusions about someone that you’ll then expect them to meet
Great advice!!
@@soIve_et_coagula Only if they lie or obfuscate, in which case that in and of itself speaks volumes. It's called social media. Maybe you're old, in which case in your day you'd maybe ask friends, family or co-workers, but in this day and age there's no need, you just look at their public facing, publicly accessible social media. That's all the digging you need to do, perhaps a little Facebook stalking. As a woman it's WAY more important to act with as much information as possible after all, what sort of simpering moron would even consider "changing" to suit someone else, come on, this is 2022, not 1980
@@aliservan7188 Do you think people are authentic on social media... you only see what they want you to see. If someone was stalking your socials to gather as much information as possible, what will they find? Whatever you’ve chosen you want others to see.
I know lots of people have bad parents but good parents usually offer very good advice about mostly everything, we just can't recognize it in the moment
ruclips.net/video/MyFhsmJ5wzc/видео.html
Yes..
go to schol becase teecher says go to schol? am i circus animel or what? i make yt videes becase thats my dreem. liv my dreem is what i do. thats what i do. hopefooly the videes are good for you deer wi
My grandmother told me to steer clear of men who don't like animals. She said "it doesn't have to be dogs or cats, it can be something unusual, as long as it's SOMETHING" If there's no animal that he likes, there's something wrong
You do have to update the advice sometimes.
ohhh I can relate to this a lot.
Omg the no sex one is a new rule that I follow religiously, I feel like my past 2 relationships literally only happened because I had sex with them too quickly and misread attachment as connection 🤦🏻♀️
Girl same
Oh my god what have I done
Melissa and Michelle did so well in their skits!!! Love it!
Agreed haha
Yeah. Always!
i think they shouldnt even be here. its distracting from her
Dating advice FROM A DAD?! mine could never
1.cyberstalk him on social media first
2. find out if he has a good, steady job
3. if he was married before, find out why it ended (but not from him)
4. don’t go to bed with them for the first month (debatable in certain situations)
5. find out if he’s a gentleman
Just wanted to let Anna know that her screenplay, fonts, lighting, portrayal of characters, skits, camera focus, music etc. are all consistently delightful, coming from a very nit-picky perfectionist, I am absolutely loving all the vids that I have binge watched and just wanted to let you know that you are doing absolutely fantastic.
Number 3 is honestly one of the best I've ever heard
Do you guys not worry about being invasive though?
Genuine question, lol. Until what point is the cyberstalking still ethical lmao
the advice is all bad
No sex or sleepovers on the first three dates is a rule I started implementing and it completely changed dating to be more meaningful 🙏🏼❤️
At the very least, it weeds out the people who are entirely unable to delay gratification, who's mess of a life you're much better of not becoming a part of.
@@virtual-viking nice take. People who are unable to delay gratification aren’t the types of people who should be in relationships.
Yay Dads advice!!! Dad's always see through the bullshit
I wish You the best of luck on your dating adventures, Anna! For me personally (m, 28) things worked out for me pretty differently than what your dad suggests. my past 2 relationships and the relationship I am in at the moment started red hot from the very first moment :-) so, basic tips I can give to anyone are pretty generic, but:
1) be honest.
1.5) communicate as clearly as possible. no mind games or emotional maipulation. (goes in conjunction with 1) )
2) try to be a decent human being
3) tolerate mistakes, your own and ones from your partner. We all are trying our best here, so acknowledge those efforts regularly. you are worth it - and so is your partner
4) know your boundaries. communicate them very clearly.
relationships are hard work, no matter what form they take. because they bring us forward in our development as human beings. Hope it helps!
Well said.
What kind of mind games should I be on the lookout for?
When your dad is able to give you dating advice, it's a good thing overall, regardless of whether it is useful or not. It usually means that (1) he loves his child(ren) and (2) he has had some experience (first-hand or otherwise). However, if he is like my dad and doesn't even know what dating is, well, then, there are always your friends and people like Anna on the Internet who can help. In either case, it's always ultimately down to you and your judgement.
i’d love to hear more about how you said you want to be more feminine in relationships and more masculine in your career, i’m the same way and have been thinking about that a lot recently!
Yes !
Yes! I'd love to hear more about this as well.
Yes I am interested as I always thought action in movies was also feminine too, she always looked very feminine in her films and RUclips videos
THIS
Same! I always have this fear, that I scare men away, because I have a lot of masculine energy. But I don't actually want it in my relationship, I want to be able to be feminine, to balance it out
It takes at least 90 days for a person to show you who they really. Until some time had passed, go slow, center in nuturing a relationship base upon genuine friendship, if there compatibility and you guys inspire each other to be the best versión of yourselves, then don't let them go.
I'm genuinely curious about this 90 days info. Is this based on research?
I’m glad to hear you are speaking with your dad again Ana
Tbh, this isn't bad advice as long as you don't get obsessive with finding out everything from internet stalking
One I have heard and seen first hand is, see how they treat their parents, especially their mom! Of course this depends if they have a good family relationship with their parents but like, how they treat parental figures and mentor figures, this can tell you how grateful, empathic and even mature they are. You only do the "seeing my parents as people" once you become an adult. It's a nice indication for me of how really sensfull they are and how down to earth they are.
I got similar advice years ago, plus try to find out if they have any debt or live beyond their means. Used the advice and been in a happy relationship for 7 years now, married for 3 years. Hubby and I took it very slow, chatted on skype for 2 months before our first date, then no sex until 4 months after the first date. I love how much we connected before taking things to the next level and it makes me feel more secure in our relationship now.
Good tips, mostly. Glad to hear you and your Dad are speaking again. As a guy who feels much more bonded to a lady after we sleep together, taking time to know if I'll actually be happy waking up next to her is something I deliberately choose rather than just taking her home on the first date. And parents often have mild disapproval of their children's companions if they think that person may end up hurting their child in some form or another. All I ever ask from parents of GFs is a chance to prove I won't hurt her deliberately if I can avoid it. Good luck on the future search!
This is so sweet
Where can we find man like you
@@greenIMONSTER008 usually getting ghosted with no explanation after a nice first meeting having coffee...... :(
Glad to know you're able to have a relationship with your Dad. I know you've said things have been really strained ❤️
My grandmother and one of my great uncles taught me these exact “rules” by the time I was 11yrs old. They actually added just one more. I’m STILL grateful - definitely helps quickly weed out people aren’t worth an effort😉
*And it’s really staggering how demonstrative the “opening doors etc” tip ends up being. 😇
A key problem about dating advice from your parents is that they were young during a different period in time. So what is acceptable or even moral today people had a different perspective on back when. That’s not to say their advice can’t help. But anytime they give you advice you need to ask yourself if it is something that would hold up today.
On another point of view you can ask yourself if all the advice you receive now are really helping you 😂
"And since I'm more masculine in my career, but want to be more feminine in my relationships" - wow, best way describe me too!
Im so glad everything is good with your Dad
Honestly these are all 100% solid tips! Well #3 miiight be a little too invasive, but the rest are a great way to guage if someone you're dating is financially & emotionally ready for a long term commitment instead of just a casual fling
At the end you’re saying you are ‘more masculine in [your] career and more feminine in [your] relationships’, but I ‘d like you to reconsider this word use. I understand what you’re trying to convey, and think it’s great you can switch between being dominant/initiating or passive/submissive depending on the context, but wonder whether equating the former to masculinity and the latter to femininity is not a tad inappropriate. One can be feminine but dominant, or masculine but submissive, and when you equate masculine to dominant or feminine to passive you ignore that fact, and accidentally fall into a reactionary gender trope. You have the freedom to use the words you want, but I hope this comment makes you reconsider your use of gender when describing initiative and submission.
AGREED! 1000%
That’s cool you and your dad have a relationship like that where you can talk about that kinda stuff. I think your dad was at the standup I saw you at!
I can confirm researching your potential partner(s) is really important.
Relationships with the mother & father are so important ♡ those individual dynamics influence a whole society
I just love that these recent videos have brought back your OG sketch style content. Improved quality all around shows how far you've come as an artist--I love to see it. Go Anna!
I'm genuinely glad you and your dad are speaking again. I know it's weird given I literally don't know you but I got worried.
A good way of weeding out bad dates is to introduce them to your friends, but only the good friends that know you and want what's best for you.
They'll see through any bullshit you missed.
Yay! You're talking to your dad again :) I'm glad you guys managed to patch up whatever it was that went wrong ❤
I fully support these dating tips ❤🙌 your dad is onto something 🤣
Maybe #4 (no sex till the 2nd/3rd date) is because guys just want to see if you will put it out. If all they care about is having sex with you then maybe they’re not looking for a relationship with you but the idea of you? If they’re willing to drop you because you’re not willing to have sex with them, they’re valuing your body more than your mind.
I know it’s not an idea that you agree with (no issues with that) but might give you perspective. Love your videos!
Anna’s dad really said “cyberstalk him” like a bro
it be like that
About guys who's mothers told them to pick women who submissive.
Dating advice from a parent!!!! Your dad is a LEGEND Anna!!!
I recently started dating again so thank you Anna to you and your dad 🙏
let me know how it goes! i will happily relay it to him ahhaha
u are now my personal therapist Anna ❤️
"A good father is one of the most onsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society." -Billy Graham
*unsung
Threshold Criterion: Does S/He regard You as:
A. a Human Being (to be respected as an End in Your Self), or
B. a thing (to be used as a mere Means to some transient amusement or gratification)?
If "A" ... proceed to Anna's (or Anna's Dad's) recommendations.
If "B" ... Stop right there.
Great Vid, Anna! Thx!!!
omg that double tap to "like" her sheeesh the new version of a Dad Joke lol
Your dad's advice is even better than all the dating experts
Oh my lord, I love this channel. The acting, the humour, the writing, the content -- it's top-notch. Can't wait to rabbit-hole the crap out of this wonderful channel. Liked and subscribed!
Dating advice from MY dad: Don't date. Ever. Seriously, don't even think about it.
the real ones would remember this story from her book
This warrants a re-read
If you look at a person as a byproduct of their surroundings and see what good or bad influences they have in their lives, it really clears up misconceptions. Focus in on the core friends in their lives, there's a reason why they say friends are the family members that you can choose. One last thing is to look at how they treat others that are in a lower position than them or people that require their help. Whether it's servers, sales people, children, and or seniors, how they treat these people that they aren't already friends with or family with really speaks volumes about their character.
I just watched Ant Man and saw you at the end!!! I used to watch your skits in high school like 6 years ago and I recognize you!! You’re so memorable and I’m so proud of you ❤️
Wholly agree on tip number 4 if what you're after is a long-term relationship.
Can attest, #5 has worked great so far! :D
You should always be vigilant when it comes to assessing the people you decide to enter a relationship (not just romantic) with.
That being said people aren't machines, there's no sure fire methodology/system of approach that guarantees success when it comes to understanding who you're dealing with. Humans can be complex
It often takes time and patience which makes things complicated cos you don't want to waste time and effort, but that may be the price to pay unless you just take a gamble and hope it works out
good parents are blessing you cant deny
OmG you are the incarnated version of myself I've always kept in my head when I was talking to myself!!🤩 Finally I found you!!
I love you ladies so much!
Oh my GOODNESS, 🤣 who ever played "Mr. Akana", nailed it
Great vid! Would love to hear you elaborate on being "more masculine in your career and more feminine when dating"
Omg tht Dad joke at the end I die 😭😭 it's exactly my sense of humour 🤣 I poke my own father every now and then and (BC ofc he is old and uses Facebook 👀) I tell him
"I poked you. Now we're friends" 🙂
I'm happy you're talking to your dad again.
i was 18 when my dad give me a tips "you cant change people" after i told him about my crush, but i guess i need to try and fail to take on that lesson:'D
I thought you said a few videos back that you were not talking to him anymore. I'm glad to know you have a better relationship now.
Talking to our family is not needed just because we are family, but is nice to have good relationships when possible.
Maybe also listen to your gut and pay attention to how you feel after they leave. If you feel worse, it isn't a good sign.
ACTUALLY, my best tip is to analyze your exes to determine what you need and want to avoid in a future partner. Then carefully assess prospects according to that list. Worked for me! Lol
I’m glad that you’re talking to your dad again. Not because people should always be with family if they don’t want to be but because, if you’re talking about this kind of thing, some positive developments must have happened. So I’m happy for you. Sorry if that was awkwardly worded
No one:
Grown-up Boo from “Monsters Inc.”:
(0:15)
Awesome job Ana.
I appreciate these dad tips. I’m not single and looking to date BUT if I were I think these are pretty solid.
I took a few month long dating coaching course. Your dad’s advice pretty much summed it up. In 4 minutes.
Just looking for that woman with poor eyesight and who doesn't realize that dating me is a giant mistake.
Love these videos so much. Really enjoy the acting and costumes! So fun. Always excited to watch
I love the flower top you are wearing. It is so pretty
Omg girl ive been subscribed to you for years. Your amazing and have really helped me out. Remember that your amazing and that you help others out. ILU🥰🤩
I totally agree with #3 and #4. When I was dating in my early 20s, most 1st dates bailed on me for a 2nd or 3rd one because I was wasn't ready to hop into bed with someone I hardly know (jup, I was "deflowered" quite late!). And knowing #3 also tells you a lot about the person - not even so much which "mistakes" they are prone to, but rather the ones they want to avoid in the future
here in Brazil the tips would have been a little different. Interesting how culture influences relationships.
Abraços de uma fã brasileira!
How so? What do you guys look out for?
@@vtr0104 all the tips are also valid here. But we would also think about if he/she has a nice family, have kids, have same interesting as you, if the person is actually single... And with the current economic scenario having a job is very good lol
Good to see you getting along with your Dad.
Like someone else commented, I’m glad your dad is speaking to you again. 💗
Dating advice from a parent !
As opposed to the usual EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
I love this! Sooo cool!
The best tip I ever got, you are the average of the top 5 people you hang out with. So, if you don't like their friends then you probably don't like them, it's just the rose coloured glasses. I also learned that you get what wants you. So if you think about the type of person you want, then think about what type of person that person will want. Is it you?
Mr. Akana gave me some advice once, and he made a point to express that he's proud of you and your work ethic.
Omg, braces Anna is hilarious! What a genius scene. love it!
Well imo we women shouldn’t go to bed with men at the early stages
We should wait some months and see 1 if his interest stays 2 if the things he says are true or not
Some people trick us into getting into a relationship while in reality they just like the honeymoon phase and then they get tired and don’t want the relationship anymore
We should wait and see if they’re honest or else we would just suffer for long
Good to see you’ve mended things with your Dad….i agree with a lot of what he has to say….also, used to have a vest in my 20’s with that same floral pattern on your blouse…wore it under a sports coat…looks better on you…
Happy belated new years to you by the way.
Tbh quite good advice but if i am being real here with advice tip number 5 your partner should go out of their way to do kind things like holding the door but you should also do the same for them and i belive both people in the relationship can take turns deciding what to do and both people should also sometimes decide what to do together basically if be respectful and if they treat you like royalty treat them like royalty aswell
What does being more masculine at your job mean? (It seems like you're \ implying certain stereotypes about men and women in the workplace but I'm not sure)
Yeah I would love some clarification on this too because Yikes.
She's lesbian when comes attraction look what says about male anatomy so by definition
You're dad is a very intelligent man I think his advice is 💯😊...
that time warping 'hmm' at 1:24 got me
Haha, That braces character should become a recurring character. That was awesome.
Ur dad rocks!!!! Thats awesome for those conversations .
That first tip always makes me worried cause Im not super into social media and I dont want people thinking Im sketchy because of it, I only have YT and tiktok for entertainment/hobby purposes.
But the question is did you father like any of your girlfriends?
As a 56 year old man, I have to say your dad's list is solid. Listen to him.
I slept with my husband on the first date. Lol Been together for over 10 years. If he is going to judge you on double standards, do you really want him?
I don’t think the advice suggests it’s wrong. I think it means having sex too soon clouds your judgement so it may create a connection that wouldn’t have otherwise existed.
Getting dating tips from Sasha Waybright. I trust these.