Honestly, the biggest thing for me was realizing how little other people actually thought about me at all. That might sound like a downer, but it was actually really freeing for me.
whyd you have to go and make things so complicated? i see the way youre acting like youre somebody else. gets me frustrated. simply admit that i am the funniest and greatest and sm*rtest and coolest and strongest yout*ber of all time! admit it, dear jo
SAME. there was a group of girls I was friends with when I was 14 and as an adult I reached out to one and she DIDNT REMEMBER ME OR THE OTHER GIRLS. It was a huge eye opener that I was memorializing people when I shouldn't be. That I needed to focus on building current relationships with people who valued me.
Projecting is so true. It's annoying how when someone asks you something and you answer them and they'd proceed to not believe that you're telling the truth, like tf just because you're a liar doesn't mean I'm a liar too. ಠ_ಠ
@@jeffreylundin4716 well...thats true, but that dont mean everyones lying all the time. Be aware that people might lie, but dont lie unless necessary cuz youll probs lie to yourself too then.
It's incredibly annoying when people do that. You're absolutely right! And some people even think they're psychic and certain of their projection is true.
"I don't like you because you overshare online" ..."well that's because you desperately want to put yourself out there but you're terrified" oof felt that one
See i never want to overshare online because it can be dangerous I tell people close to me not to do that so they'll be safe too but they also can do whatever they want.
@@gsiya4023 yea, this was kind of my thought. Usually tho if I think someone's "oversharing" it's because they're being tacky with what they're sharing and makes me not trust them with my business/info.
@@isaacturner199 exactly!! i had a friend who overshares a lot especially when it is a gossip. i usually have a hard time trusting him with a secret or a problen
Anna Akana is woke af. I'm currently going through leaving a toxic friendship and this is one of the most emotionally piercing videos of hers I have ever seen. It's the first time this week I haven't felt like blaming myself for how things unfolded, thanks you AA! ❤
I don't know. There are a lot of people who spit a lot of good words. But, it is not until you yourself test those words do you find if they fit or not.
While I do think its important to not care what *everyone* thinks of us -- a lot of people in the modern day world aren't out of the survival mode that Anna's talking about. Community, and having folks who support you, is still extremely important to a lot of folks well-being! Being kind to others (and becoming liked by extension, at least, in my experience!) is the only reason I've been able to be still standing today. When you don't have the resources (financial or otherwise!) or ability (I personally am disabled!) to be "independent", or, as Anna says, "mostly live in isolation", having a community to fall back on can and will save your life. So yes, its absolutely important to learn to balance a need to be liked with speaking your truth -- you can't be liked by everyone, and trying to be will not help anyone's situation! But it's also not a "useless leftover evolutionary drive" for a lot of people -- community, and being liked by those in your community, is still a life saving and an important survival mechanism for those without the privileged and resources to be considered self-sufficient. edit: a good specific example of this I have is, when I was a teenager, I would routinely take walk and take public transportation in less than ideal areas at night. By being genuine, loving, and kind to the folks I ran into in these areas (most of who were experiencing homelessness, and it was only by luck and chance that I had a place to live myself) -- they were also willing and often protected me from those who were potentially violent and predatory. On more than one occasion, folks I had run into before would step in to stop harassment before it escalated further, because they knew I would do the same for them. My kindness to others had made me liked by the community, and this probably saved my life. tl;dr: safety in numbers is still a very important survival mechanism for a lot of people, and being able to 100% not care about being liked in your community is a privilege not everybody has.
Exactly! When she said the need to be liked is "useless" I was lie "wow I'm disagreeing with her for the first time." People liking me has been able to get me my degree and the job that I wanted when there were similarly qualified people. Yes, there is such a thing as a pathalogical need to be liked, but we all need to be accepted into some community to survive in today's increasingly global economy
"You desperately want to put yourself out there but you're terrified" OHMYGOODNESS THIS WAS SO ACCURATE!?!?!!? Like for years I've developed some sort of animosity for peers who "overshare" online but the truth is, I was just envious because I could never do that as an overthinker and I'm jus too shy to function and scared of what people will think of me 😭 😫
"i dont want to live with a couple of homo erectuses anyway" "you know we're Neanderthals!" I live for their big brain sarcastic banter!!!!! i luv u ladies 😭😭😭
I am definitely that person. I apologise quickly, even when I don‘t have to and I hate sensing that other people actively dislike me. I like to live in harmony. But I notice that this leads to people taking advantage of you and that even so called „friends“ may not treat you with respect.
I think there's a point to be made here that just like we think she is perfect and want what she has, because we are aware of our own shortcomings, she probably feels the same. She sees someone, thinks they are perfect and wants what they have, because she is aware of her own shortcomings. She is a human, capable of making mistakes and having flaws. She's not perfect, no matter how much it appears to us that she is perfect from the outside. Our ability to understand that *everyone* in life has some kind of dissatisfaction that they are dealing with, and be kind on that basis is what makes us compassionate.
@@GoVocaloider look, all I'm saying is that Anna has been understanding, internalizing, and sharing so much of her therapy wisdom over the years that I can only assume she's in much better shape than the rest of us. Sure, nobody's perfect and every trait you embody comes with tradeoffs, but I'm fairly confident Anna is resting around the top of the crop whether she thinks so or not. She's assertive, driven, funny, smart, self-aware, ever-improving... The list goes on and most folks struggle to achieve maybe two of those. Her main flaw that I can see is also her greatest strength -- she's never satisfied with herself and that's an admirable trait to have as she'll just keep improving at her own behest instead of reinforcing her trauma and flaws or sheeping after others. In short: she's a role model and I respect her. Also she's drop dead gorgeous, so there's that.
I feel like your channel is a hidden gem. I find it so entertaining and hillarious yet also thought provoking. I really think it helps people (including myself) grow and consider new ideas. I hope you're doing well and best of wishes Anna!
Yes! I knew it! Their judgments are the projection of their ego, insecurities and a way in which they could hide their own deeds. Which also led me to realize that I'm the only one who's stopping myself from being what I want to be.
For exemple: my mom is really talkative and it's bad with social clues, i really enjoy her company and i don't care for the fact that she's really clueless when it's just the both us, but there othere people around it makes me anxious and i would normally feel angry towards her, them i realized it's about me feeling insecure about other people not her, so it's really unfair to feel angry towards her, i still feel anxious and really dislike it, but i know it's about me, not her and i know i can't just be mean to her because of it because it's unfair, but it's still ok for me to feel anxious with her and a bit annoyed as long as i deal with these feelings in a healthy way. Does it makes sense?
Hmmm i guess anna is talking about inherent qualities of a person rather than actions. You can dislike someone for being to opionionated or pretty and that would be projection, but when you dislike someone because of lying, cheating or being mean you dislike them because of their actions in that case.
@@Faboostic yess I get what you mean. but you also have to realize that other people are most likely not judging her anyways, because all of us are too self-centered and are thinking about us anyways
oofffffff the projectinggggg. Im so guilty of this - I'm happy that its something I've worked really hard on to improve but its totally wild when you can see it so clearly in other people.
I just learned this in one of my "Personal development school" CBT workshops (made a review of that course on my channel if anyone is curious) and this just refreshed my memory on it! Thanks
According to pirate lore, Mr. Snuggles actually pioneered the prehistoric concept of putting an "X" on a map to signify the location of treasure instead of the much more accurate latitude and longitude values.
😭 I'm like 'dude (to myself) chill, your being so envious and your awful for doing that, I don't wanna associate with someone like that' and I hate me for feeling that way 😭 ughhh, like I know it's an awful trait but I do it and....ugh 😭😭😭😭
I think this is true from a friendship standpoint, but it seems that being liked definitely helps in MOST areas of life specifically relating to obtaining means for survival.
These skits are too good😂 Yeah I definitely disliked someone when i had lack of confidence in myself. I'm good now but looking back it was like yeesh girl, you're mad because at least they're out here living
Anna I can see your shift in mentality and philosophy of life, you seem more secure and your overall energy is just so different, in a good way of course. I love it. That “I can see through society’s bullshit and I’m not letting it take me down with it” vibe ur giving is so magnetic and as someone who has been following u for years, it makes me really happy to see the person you’ve become 💓
Imagine if the urge to be liked wasn't the outdated evolutionary trait we often think it is. After all, we're wired to seek out communities for survival. What if it's the habit of negatively judging or criticizing others that's the real outdated survival strategy? We tend to judge things to gauge safety, and projection-blaming others for what we fear in ourselves-is a way to shield ourselves from perceived threats. What if we could recognize when we're judging someone and understand why we're doing it? It could help us uncover our own fears and defenses. Also, if we can recognize when someone else is judging, we can empathize with their need for security and safety. Thank you for your content! I am a huge fan!
Are you serious? The desire to be liked is unnecessary? Well, ok, if you are fine with living in the woods like a loner, sure it is. We are a social species, and we should care what others think about us. I would love to hear why you believe this is unnecessary.
Unless you're my best friend that I known for 20+ years, I don't give a crap if you like me or not. The reality is that people need to realize regardless what you do, people will always have their own opinion of you. Why care about those trivial people that don't know anything about what you've been through, you know? Just live your life and keep moving forward. After all, those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
1:05 martial arts (taught in the proper, traditional, hardcore way) will cure this. Honestly. My head used to be like this and martial arts fixed it right up. They teach you to think efficiently and in a goal-oriented manner rather than navel-gaze incessantly. It's not inescapable.
thats what i realized. the concept of hate or dislike or insult is a form of identification of oneself and how you dont identified with the person (you) are insulting or hating. you dont need to take any drastic measures to violent attack them or to childishly insult them because that is your monkey brain refllex doing it. you should rather just appreciate the difference between that persons character in contrast to yours. after all we are different types of people. we should not be destructive to one another, there is always a healthy way of doing things
Whether somebody likes me or not, it’s usually something that I don’t need to react (unless I’m getting physically attacked or something haha). Same goes for me too. I don’t have to like somebody but I don’t have to announce it to them or even react to this feeling myself. We are just different people. Being not liked by someone doesn’t make us less of a person. We can do the bare minimum if we have to be around each other, otherwise we don’t need to interact at all. It’s similar to the “agree to disagree” concept.
So the first example where she said "Michelle is just too direct, she never puts anything in a compliment sandwich", was Anna projecting how she didn't like her own straight-forwardness trait? Or is she projecting that she wishes she could be more straight-forward and less passive?
I think another part of projecting is that often, people will project trauma or personal grievances upon people who have traits that are similar to or remind them of those who traumatized them. This can be from anything as simple as reminding someone of chores (in a casual, helpful way because the person is forgetful) while the person is reminded of their overbearing mother, to something like someone being similar in personality to someone they have trauma from in ways that aren’t negative, and even to something like identifying one behavior or situation in someone that is associated with your separate trauma, but then projecting the other behaviors or situations from that separate trauma onto that person when it doesn’t apply. I have recognized this pattern a lot in my healing process, especially after I’ve come so far in identifying it and being aware of it for myself, and then being able to compare it to people who haven’t done the work yet, which often reminds me of where I used to be too. Honestly, most people are just taking things personally themselves, and that’s at least part of why they lash out, push back, retaliate, and get defensive, which means it’s a personal problem of theirs and shouldn’t be taken personally in the end.
Someone once posed a question: Is it truly the aspiration of peple to "not care what other people think". After all, it's the hallmark of sociopath. Unlile most versions of this advice, this video's method is actually the opposite. The act of recognizing others projections is actually a form of empathy, so not "not caring" but understandin.
💠 “When you think everyone is someone else’s fault, you will suffer. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy. - Dalai Lama Love from Level Up Your Life Channel 💖
In my case I had a problem accepting that people truly cared about me. I would take one single thing that they did and turn my self into a downward spiral of they don't like me, they don't care about me etc. I have come to recognize that this sort of behavior happens when I am upset with myself for not doing things that will make me happy and successful in life (like studying for a test) or help me achieve my goals.
I play your videos on background and i clean or cook it helps me with my depression and loneliness im suicidal and live alone thank you for your great content ure literally saving my life..
Hmmm, not necessarily and not always I think. Sometimes, we just vibe with a different sort of people. And there are people who vibe with a different sort of people than you are. It's the same in dating - sometimes someone just makes our heart stop because of that something, and someone else is a great person, but they're just not doing it for us. And that's ok! It would be mature to realize we all have our preferences, and not take that so personally.
Always great content, tho I don't agree that our inner voice should be eliminated or is useless. Yes, it can be harsh and mean, but it also helps me figure out hard problems and work through tough issues. Having someone to talk to when it gets out of hand helps get it back in line for me.
What about the classic, “I don’t know why, I just don’t like her.” Never understood why people wouldn’t like me bc of this 😂 doesn’t matter. Just weird
I'm thinking about the people I most recently disliked and it was because I was doing all the work to stay in contact with them and they rarely, if ever, reached out to me. How is that projection?
To me, being liked is one kind of proof that I am doing something right, that I am contributing to the society in some way. It's validation, a kind of measurement of how successful I am at doing good. Now, of course, you can question why I want to contribute to the society and do good, and tell me that "contributing to the society" is an "irrational want". I think it comes down to what you really want to do with your life.
Thanks Anna for speaking on this issue. I have struggled with this my entire life and I never understood why. I'll use your tips and apply it in my life.
Read the title and thought, "I am able to do this now... wow. What a journey." The world is ending, care about one another, don't be an asshole, fight the good fight, and die happy and satisfied.
You can tell this was recorded before everything went to hell in Afghanistan. Clearly there remains a need for all the fundamentals survival adaptations that we evolved, and the unknown number of US, UK, Australian, and other western people still trapped there are going to have to rely on them heavily to get out. Part of that might very well be being likeable to any Taliban you find yourself confronted with. For more than a few of them, whether or not they can ingratiate themselves and smooth talk their way out of trouble is going to very literally be the difference life and death.
Ah let me tell you, when I first understood what projection was, it was a game changer. It just made sense and shows it's not a you problem, but their problem/insecurity. You don't have to make yourself small or dull your light. The same thing they first like about you, they'll insult on their way out. This is why it doesn't work out, you want uplifting people around you who like to see you happy! Shine baybyyyy lol We don't need people conditioning us in our environment and friend groups to be boring.
Oink Oink.. I watched YOUR Mv.. It was really Good.. and Also.. Oh moe moe.. YOU are So so Beautiful.. So Beautiful that I can close my eyes and say.. YOU are So so beautiful.. Keep up the Great Work.. always Smart and Always the best.. Oink Oink.. YOU the best!!
Honestly, the biggest thing for me was realizing how little other people actually thought about me at all. That might sound like a downer, but it was actually really freeing for me.
Hi, exactly!
whyd you have to go and make things so complicated? i see the way youre acting like youre somebody else. gets me frustrated. simply admit that i am the funniest and greatest and sm*rtest and coolest and strongest yout*ber of all time! admit it, dear jo
SAME. there was a group of girls I was friends with when I was 14 and as an adult I reached out to one and she DIDNT REMEMBER ME OR THE OTHER GIRLS. It was a huge eye opener that I was memorializing people when I shouldn't be. That I needed to focus on building current relationships with people who valued me.
But the question is why do people live in MY head rent free🥺😞
@@melitta222 Because you let them. 🤷♀️
Projecting is so true. It's annoying how when someone asks you something and you answer them and they'd proceed to not believe that you're telling the truth, like tf just because you're a liar doesn't mean I'm a liar too. ಠ_ಠ
everybody's a liar
@@jeffreylundin4716 well...thats true, but that dont mean everyones lying all the time.
Be aware that people might lie, but dont lie unless necessary cuz youll probs lie to yourself too then.
Some might trust issues you know
Maybe they have trust issues and needs a bit reassurance
It's incredibly annoying when people do that. You're absolutely right! And some people even think they're psychic and certain of their projection is true.
"I don't like you because you overshare online" ..."well that's because you desperately want to put yourself out there but you're terrified" oof felt that one
Same here that really hit me hard 😫
Same 😂
See i never want to overshare online because it can be dangerous I tell people close to me not to do that so they'll be safe too but they also can do whatever they want.
@@gsiya4023 yea, this was kind of my thought. Usually tho if I think someone's "oversharing" it's because they're being tacky with what they're sharing and makes me not trust them with my business/info.
@@isaacturner199 exactly!! i had a friend who overshares a lot especially when it is a gossip. i usually have a hard time trusting him with a secret or a problen
Anna Akana is woke af. I'm currently going through leaving a toxic friendship and this is one of the most emotionally piercing videos of hers I have ever seen. It's the first time this week I haven't felt like blaming myself for how things unfolded, thanks you AA! ❤
well therapy really helps you to be ngl, you become aware of many many things you couldn't see/didn't know before
I don't know. There are a lot of people who spit a lot of good words. But, it is not until you yourself test those words do you find if they fit or not.
While I do think its important to not care what *everyone* thinks of us -- a lot of people in the modern day world aren't out of the survival mode that Anna's talking about. Community, and having folks who support you, is still extremely important to a lot of folks well-being! Being kind to others (and becoming liked by extension, at least, in my experience!) is the only reason I've been able to be still standing today. When you don't have the resources (financial or otherwise!) or ability (I personally am disabled!) to be "independent", or, as Anna says, "mostly live in isolation", having a community to fall back on can and will save your life. So yes, its absolutely important to learn to balance a need to be liked with speaking your truth -- you can't be liked by everyone, and trying to be will not help anyone's situation! But it's also not a "useless leftover evolutionary drive" for a lot of people -- community, and being liked by those in your community, is still a life saving and an important survival mechanism for those without the privileged and resources to be considered self-sufficient.
edit: a good specific example of this I have is, when I was a teenager, I would routinely take walk and take public transportation in less than ideal areas at night. By being genuine, loving, and kind to the folks I ran into in these areas (most of who were experiencing homelessness, and it was only by luck and chance that I had a place to live myself) -- they were also willing and often protected me from those who were potentially violent and predatory. On more than one occasion, folks I had run into before would step in to stop harassment before it escalated further, because they knew I would do the same for them. My kindness to others had made me liked by the community, and this probably saved my life.
tl;dr: safety in numbers is still a very important survival mechanism for a lot of people, and being able to 100% not care about being liked in your community is a privilege not everybody has.
Great analysis, thanks for sharing
Exactly! When she said the need to be liked is "useless" I was lie "wow I'm disagreeing with her for the first time." People liking me has been able to get me my degree and the job that I wanted when there were similarly qualified people. Yes, there is such a thing as a pathalogical need to be liked, but we all need to be accepted into some community to survive in today's increasingly global economy
"You desperately want to put yourself out there but you're terrified"
OHMYGOODNESS THIS WAS SO ACCURATE!?!?!!? Like for years I've developed some sort of animosity for peers who "overshare" online but the truth is, I was just envious because I could never do that as an overthinker and I'm jus too shy to function and scared of what people will think of me 😭 😫
My thoughts exactly!
Saaame
Personally I just think people telling their personal business online is just annoying. I have no problem opening up in offline settings
literally same
Omg needed this so badly. Anna is a mind reader...!!
Same I've been treated myself poorly filed with self-doubt and comparing myself to others. I really needed to hear this.
"i dont want to live with a couple of homo erectuses anyway"
"you know we're Neanderthals!"
I live for their big brain sarcastic banter!!!!! i luv u ladies 😭😭😭
I am definitely that person. I apologise quickly, even when I don‘t have to and I hate sensing that other people actively dislike me. I like to live in harmony. But I notice that this leads to people taking advantage of you and that even so called „friends“ may not treat you with respect.
Anna: *Complete package*
Also Anna: Jealous of what other people have
The rest of us: Do you want all of our bad!?
🤣 I do kinda wonder what she's jelous of sometimes.
I think there's a point to be made here that just like we think she is perfect and want what she has, because we are aware of our own shortcomings, she probably feels the same. She sees someone, thinks they are perfect and wants what they have, because she is aware of her own shortcomings.
She is a human, capable of making mistakes and having flaws. She's not perfect, no matter how much it appears to us that she is perfect from the outside. Our ability to understand that *everyone* in life has some kind of dissatisfaction that they are dealing with, and be kind on that basis is what makes us compassionate.
@@GoVocaloider look, all I'm saying is that Anna has been understanding, internalizing, and sharing so much of her therapy wisdom over the years that I can only assume she's in much better shape than the rest of us. Sure, nobody's perfect and every trait you embody comes with tradeoffs, but I'm fairly confident Anna is resting around the top of the crop whether she thinks so or not. She's assertive, driven, funny, smart, self-aware, ever-improving... The list goes on and most folks struggle to achieve maybe two of those. Her main flaw that I can see is also her greatest strength -- she's never satisfied with herself and that's an admirable trait to have as she'll just keep improving at her own behest instead of reinforcing her trauma and flaws or sheeping after others. In short: she's a role model and I respect her. Also she's drop dead gorgeous, so there's that.
I feel like your channel is a hidden gem. I find it so entertaining and hillarious yet also thought provoking. I really think it helps people (including myself) grow and consider new ideas. I hope you're doing well and best of wishes Anna!
Yes! I knew it! Their judgments are the projection of their ego, insecurities and a way in which they could hide their own deeds. Which also led me to realize that I'm the only one who's stopping myself from being what I want to be.
I feel that this really valid point can be used by manipulative people to say "you shouldn't feel bad about that, you're just projecting"
For exemple: my mom is really talkative and it's bad with social clues, i really enjoy her company and i don't care for the fact that she's really clueless when it's just the both us, but there othere people around it makes me anxious and i would normally feel angry towards her, them i realized it's about me feeling insecure about other people not her, so it's really unfair to feel angry towards her, i still feel anxious and really dislike it, but i know it's about me, not her and i know i can't just be mean to her because of it because it's unfair, but it's still ok for me to feel anxious with her and a bit annoyed as long as i deal with these feelings in a healthy way. Does it makes sense?
Hmmm i guess anna is talking about inherent qualities of a person rather than actions. You can dislike someone for being to opionionated or pretty and that would be projection, but when you dislike someone because of lying, cheating or being mean you dislike them because of their actions in that case.
@@Faboostic yess I get what you mean. but you also have to realize that other people are most likely not judging her anyways, because all of us are too self-centered and are thinking about us anyways
You’re always such an inspiration, not only in the messages but also in the execution of the content you create!
I love this 🤣🤣 you know we’re Neanderthals!!!
I guess as with most things in life, finding ✨balance✨ is key.
Yes, 💯% yes!!!
"I can embody the trait that I want - no one is actually stopping me from doing that except for myself." Needed to hear that.
You’re the older sister I always wished I had 🥺💗
oofffffff the projectinggggg. Im so guilty of this - I'm happy that its something I've worked really hard on to improve but its totally wild when you can see it so clearly in other people.
Everything else aside look at that bow top 😍😍😍
“consciousness is a leftover evolutionary trait” is a take i was not prepared for this morning
I just learned this in one of my "Personal development school" CBT workshops (made a review of that course on my channel if anyone is curious) and this just refreshed my memory on it! Thanks
"The human brain is super complex and advanced."
- The Human Brain
Thank you Miss Anna for this. A free therapy session.
According to pirate lore, Mr. Snuggles actually pioneered the prehistoric concept of putting an "X" on a map to signify the location of treasure instead of the much more accurate latitude and longitude values.
Absolutely necessary!!
I’ve never cared what people think for around 10 years now 👍🏻🤘🏻😊
Thank you for shedding light on this... especially now when there is so much division being perpetuated
😭 I'm like 'dude (to myself) chill, your being so envious and your awful for doing that, I don't wanna associate with someone like that' and I hate me for feeling that way 😭 ughhh, like I know it's an awful trait but I do it and....ugh 😭😭😭😭
I think this is true from a friendship standpoint, but it seems that being liked definitely helps in MOST areas of life specifically relating to obtaining means for survival.
These skits are too good😂 Yeah I definitely disliked someone when i had lack of confidence in myself. I'm good now but looking back it was like yeesh girl, you're mad because at least they're out here living
Anna I can see your shift in mentality and philosophy of life, you seem more secure and your overall energy is just so different, in a good way of course. I love it. That “I can see through society’s bullshit and I’m not letting it take me down with it” vibe ur giving is so magnetic and as someone who has been following u for years, it makes me really happy to see the person you’ve become 💓
Modern cancel culture shows how we still need groups to like us
Or the power to silence/destroy them if they chose to attack us
Well also some people have online careers, so they might depend on their group financially, or artistically. Just saying
Imagine if the urge to be liked wasn't the outdated evolutionary trait we often think it is. After all, we're wired to seek out communities for survival. What if it's the habit of negatively judging or criticizing others that's the real outdated survival strategy? We tend to judge things to gauge safety, and projection-blaming others for what we fear in ourselves-is a way to shield ourselves from perceived threats. What if we could recognize when we're judging someone and understand why we're doing it? It could help us uncover our own fears and defenses. Also, if we can recognize when someone else is judging, we can empathize with their need for security and safety.
Thank you for your content! I am a huge fan!
Are you serious? The desire to be liked is unnecessary? Well, ok, if you are fine with living in the woods like a loner, sure it is. We are a social species, and we should care what others think about us. I would love to hear why you believe this is unnecessary.
does this also work on positive stuff?
Like, i like someone, because i see something in them i like about myself, or something I want?
Unless you're my best friend that I known for 20+ years, I don't give a crap if you like me or not.
The reality is that people need to realize regardless what you do, people will always have their own opinion of you. Why care about those trivial people that don't know anything about what you've been through, you know? Just live your life and keep moving forward. After all, those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
looool sometimes I just want my inner voice to shut up. I swear it talks a mile a minute
You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Consciousness is a source of suffering!!!!!!!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
1:05 martial arts (taught in the proper, traditional, hardcore way) will cure this. Honestly. My head used to be like this and martial arts fixed it right up. They teach you to think efficiently and in a goal-oriented manner rather than navel-gaze incessantly. It's not inescapable.
thats what i realized. the concept of hate or dislike or insult is a form of identification of oneself and how you dont identified with the person (you) are insulting or hating.
you dont need to take any drastic measures to violent attack them or to childishly insult them because that is your monkey brain refllex doing it.
you should rather just appreciate the difference between that persons character in contrast to yours. after all we are different types of people.
we should not be destructive to one another, there is always a healthy way of doing things
This is one of the best free therapy experience available on youtube
🙌💖 Love Ana so much
Whether somebody likes me or not, it’s usually something that I don’t need to react (unless I’m getting physically attacked or something haha). Same goes for me too. I don’t have to like somebody but I don’t have to announce it to them or even react to this feeling myself. We are just different people. Being not liked by someone doesn’t make us less of a person. We can do the bare minimum if we have to be around each other, otherwise we don’t need to interact at all. It’s similar to the “agree to disagree” concept.
So the first example where she said "Michelle is just too direct, she never puts anything in a compliment sandwich", was Anna projecting how she didn't like her own straight-forwardness trait? Or is she projecting that she wishes she could be more straight-forward and less passive?
You have a thoroughly amazing house.
Not me JUST realizing that they are twins after all this time 💀. Thought it was just good editing 😂
For the record keeping track of latitude and longitude is harder without a super accurate time piece.
I haven't cared about what other think of me for at least a half dozen years or so now, if not a longer.
Wait….so having friends is basically like having pets….That’s awesome! ….lol…still waiting for them cat advice videos, Shakana K
I think another part of projecting is that often, people will project trauma or personal grievances upon people who have traits that are similar to or remind them of those who traumatized them. This can be from anything as simple as reminding someone of chores (in a casual, helpful way because the person is forgetful) while the person is reminded of their overbearing mother, to something like someone being similar in personality to someone they have trauma from in ways that aren’t negative, and even to something like identifying one behavior or situation in someone that is associated with your separate trauma, but then projecting the other behaviors or situations from that separate trauma onto that person when it doesn’t apply. I have recognized this pattern a lot in my healing process, especially after I’ve come so far in identifying it and being aware of it for myself, and then being able to compare it to people who haven’t done the work yet, which often reminds me of where I used to be too. Honestly, most people are just taking things personally themselves, and that’s at least part of why they lash out, push back, retaliate, and get defensive, which means it’s a personal problem of theirs and shouldn’t be taken personally in the end.
so... you're saying, that thinking my friends hate me when they don't text me actually means, that I... would hate them if I didn't text them?
Clicked as fast as I could!!!
Someone once posed a question:
Is it truly the aspiration of peple to "not care what other people think". After all, it's the hallmark of sociopath.
Unlile most versions of this advice, this video's method is actually the opposite. The act of recognizing others projections is actually a form of empathy, so not "not caring" but understandin.
I swear all of your videos always arrive at the right time. Thank you! They're really therapeutic
💠 “When you think everyone is someone else’s fault, you will suffer. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy.
- Dalai Lama
Love from Level Up Your Life Channel 💖
The Dalai Lama isn't someone to look up to.
Love your content Anna!!
Am 17 and it has really helped me😊
So thank you
This is like that Family Guy joke: "Men: We know how to be friends."
This is so true, most of the time people are not even thinking of you they a relating everything to themselves and projecting their own insecurities!
Damn, you're right, as I'm thinking of the things that I dislike about people, I think of it as things I want to have in myself.
Oh my inner voice I got such a bone to 0ick with him
These videos always makes our days better
Girl i love your videos they always somehow coincide with what's happening in my life! and I think that's pretty cool!
Loki: I think I know what this place is. It's an illusion to trick the more powerful
Also loki: kills to project the illusion that he's powerful
He said that in a room with an actual projector too!
Anna I'm so happy when I see your new videos
Thank you so much♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
In my case I had a problem accepting that people truly cared about me. I would take one single thing that they did and turn my self into a downward spiral of they don't like me, they don't care about me etc.
I have come to recognize that this sort of behavior happens when I am upset with myself for not doing things that will make me happy and successful in life (like studying for a test) or help me achieve my goals.
BB
XD IM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO WEIRD AHHAHAHAHAHAH
I play your videos on background and i clean or cook it helps me with my depression and loneliness im suicidal and live alone thank you for your great content ure literally saving my life..
Your videos sometimes provide me with a new insight, are good reminders or are just simply fun to watch. Thank you!
*she is actually my therapist*
Most people, are projecting.
🤯
WELCOME BACK ANNA. missed u doing ur vids
Anna your good looks inspire me!!!
Hmmm, not necessarily and not always I think. Sometimes, we just vibe with a different sort of people. And there are people who vibe with a different sort of people than you are. It's the same in dating - sometimes someone just makes our heart stop because of that something, and someone else is a great person, but they're just not doing it for us. And that's ok! It would be mature to realize we all have our preferences, and not take that so personally.
Umm... Stop listening to influencers on RUclips. That seems like a step one to me.
Put down the phone in order to experience the 'real' people around us- live!
"When I came across people who didn't like me.. I can honestly say they were projecting". Talk about narcissism.
The acting was 10 out of 10 i love it
What I need to know is where you got that top!
And here also betterhelp. Wow.
Always great content, tho I don't agree that our inner voice should be eliminated or is useless. Yes, it can be harsh and mean, but it also helps me figure out hard problems and work through tough issues. Having someone to talk to when it gets out of hand helps get it back in line for me.
Anna always comes through 💓
What about the classic, “I don’t know why, I just don’t like her.” Never understood why people wouldn’t like me bc of this 😂 doesn’t matter. Just weird
I'm thinking about the people I most recently disliked and it was because I was doing all the work to stay in contact with them and they rarely, if ever, reached out to me. How is that projection?
Funny I was just thinking\wondering if you had new content. I do enjoy your content that you provide. Please keep it up
To me, being liked is one kind of proof that I am doing something right, that I am contributing to the society in some way. It's validation, a kind of measurement of how successful I am at doing good.
Now, of course, you can question why I want to contribute to the society and do good, and tell me that "contributing to the society" is an "irrational want".
I think it comes down to what you really want to do with your life.
When my Dad died, the calling hour lasted over 3 hrs. It was an AMAZING display of >what people thought of him
This is exactly what I needed today 😭Thank you for the reminder. Our world is truly a reflection of how we see ourselves .
I needed this bro.
Thanks Anna for speaking on this issue. I have struggled with this my entire life and I never understood why. I'll use your tips and apply it in my life.
I never knew I needed this
Is the married twin pregnant?!💚💙
She looks so beautiful!^^
Read the title and thought, "I am able to do this now... wow. What a journey."
The world is ending, care about one another, don't be an asshole, fight the good fight, and die happy and satisfied.
This is really brilliant.
You can tell this was recorded before everything went to hell in Afghanistan. Clearly there remains a need for all the fundamentals survival adaptations that we evolved, and the unknown number of US, UK, Australian, and other western people still trapped there are going to have to rely on them heavily to get out. Part of that might very well be being likeable to any Taliban you find yourself confronted with. For more than a few of them, whether or not they can ingratiate themselves and smooth talk their way out of trouble is going to very literally be the difference life and death.
Do you think that guys who ask women to block other guys on social media to prove their loyalty are projecting their own infidelity?
Ah let me tell you, when I first understood what projection was, it was a game changer. It just made sense and shows it's not a you problem, but their problem/insecurity. You don't have to make yourself small or dull your light. The same thing they first like about you, they'll insult on their way out. This is why it doesn't work out, you want uplifting people around you who like to see you happy! Shine baybyyyy lol We don't need people conditioning us in our environment and friend groups to be boring.
😂 😃 😄 😅...."I've just finished the West Wall".....😂 😃 😄 😅
What about the trump wall?
Oink Oink.. I watched YOUR Mv.. It was really Good.. and Also.. Oh moe moe.. YOU are So so Beautiful.. So Beautiful that I can close my eyes and say.. YOU are So so beautiful.. Keep up the Great Work.. always Smart and Always the best.. Oink Oink.. YOU the best!!
I can't believe you called them Homo Erectus. That's their word.
Hm, wow, so there’s not too many people who know about “projecting” huh.
I dig your channel.
keep going!
Hahaha, "mmmm betch" hahah