grief is a good test. when my mom died and my friend dropped everything she was doing and told the people she was running an event with to "deal with it, my friend needs me" so she could drive across the state to be there for her service, that's when i knew she wasn't really my friend, she was my best friend. i've found me a good one and i treasure her.
When my mom passed away 2 years ago my best friend did the same. She was with me each moment and then i stayed at her house. Even in the lockdown she continued to text me and call me daily
I’ve lost roughly four friends when I had death related crises, because instead of remotely being there for me they simply withdrew and started acting like I didn’t exist anymore
OH NOOOOOOOO!!! I have two girlfriends, but very few people on YT are happy for my relationship success. They disl*ke all of the videos I make with my 2 girlfriends. Please be kind, dear sa
@@chocoboqueen5498 yeah imma second this one too.... This isn't just about incompatiblity as if one person is a trump support and the other isn't but they're really good people. Some people are just dickheads
well yes it's like letting go of the past, the precious moments. But i think a lover you've been with for a long time is as much heartbreak, unless you didn't consider him or her as your friend as well.
Indeed! I'm through the process of one, but I believe it's for the best. It is painful. Heartbreaking. Gut-wrenchingly sad. But I just think to myself "Would my future self be proud if I continued to cling to someone who doesn't care about me?", and the answer is always no. A strong no.
1:13 1. When you tell them a hard truth 2. When you achieve significant career success 3. When you get depressed 4. When you grow into a better, different person 5. When you fail publicly and / or miserably 6. When you grieve 7. When you move (houses)
I love following Anna as she learns and shares what’s “normal” in relationships because I felt for YEARS that there was something inherently wrong with me because my friendships ended sometimes. Society really does not prepare us to lose friends and that can really mess up our self esteem
Right, since I was little I was taught through children’s stories and cartoons that “real friends last forever” and because of that, when my friendships ended, I believed that something was wrong with me
I really agree with you, I totally though there was something wrong with me... Trying to change that mentality, but when you have told yourself that all your life, it's difficult. It's a process, for sure
I really had to take a hard look at my "friends" this year and it really was like a grand purge. I cant believe I hung on to people so long that were insulting me all the time and then just saying "it's just a joke" ... it's not healthy when it's clearly not joking. And I've even had their family members tell me things that just made me realize... I dont need that in my life.
Did you asked them to stop? If not, then you're in the wrong, but if you have then they clearly they weren't your friends. There are exceptions of course such as certain mental disorders, fears, peer pressure, etc.
Rupture and repair is so important. You find out who will put the effort in to heal with you and who would rather never talk to you again than have a hard convo.
This resonates. One of my best friends was upset at how I expressed feelings for her, so instead of talking it over she drew a bunch of uncharitable conclusions that she flung at me in a text message and then cut me off without hearing out my side. It was deeply painful, but illuminating because it showed me that rupture and repair wasn’t possible in this friendship, and that if our first conflict in 15 years wasn’t something we could talk through then the friendship’s health (given such fragility) was entirely dependent on me being easy going and tip toeing around difficult topics, and that just doesn’t strike me as healthy and balanced dynamic worth maintaining. It takes two; when someone doesn’t show up to pull their weight, silence speaks loudly
@@ryanprussin This is so true.. its truly deeply painful when they cut you off without even hearing your side and not giving any chance for the friendship ofc to me too. 😔
Every time when I watch a movie or drama, the main lead always have 1 or 2 supportive friends that grew up together and stayed together. I always feel a small void watching such theme because I don't have this. The people I thought were my friends, all end up leaving, in a bad way in fact. But it's nice to know that there's a study about friendships where it's normal for people to fade out. I just hope in the future, eventually, I have at least 1 friend. Just 1....even writing this feels sad.
You'd be surprised how many people feel the same way you do. Among all these people, there is surely one who can be your friend. Loneliness can make us feel so warm depraved, it's easy to blur our reality.
I believe that the true measure of friendship is whether you know the person will always be there for you, and whether you make EQUAL contributions to your relationships.
I've found both of these to be somewhat true, but not entirely all the time. I think friends having their boundaries and respecting yours is more important than forcing yourself to be there for someone in some way when you can't. 'Always being there for someone' is too vague. I do agree on the equal contributions on some level, but there will be times when one friend is not able to give as much as the other due to life circumstances. As long as this is temporary and not a permanent imbalance I feel a friendship can grow through these periods of hardship together.
@@amara560 💯 percent agree to this. Unconditional love should not equal unconditional tolerance. Putting oneself through a draining or emotionally triggering friendship over and over again for the sake of being a “good friend” defies our purpose as human beings not to mention, breeds inauthenticity and lifelong curse of just never finding a deep, fulfilling and richer friendship.
What I learnt about friendship is that great friends have their own boundaries and respect yours. This is how you don't burn yourself out and you don't give resentment a chance to grow.
It seems as if people have grouped "friends" into a single narrow group of people who satisfy every type of emotional need; this does not seem accurate to what I've seen in my life over the years. For example, I have certain friends with whom I can see about once every three months, have deep conversations and confidences, but when it comes to more daily support, I have those with whom I mesh regarding base needs (regular social contact, bonding over food, etc.) and others with whom I have deeper conversations and intimate emotional support. Some few overlap in different aspects. I appreciate them all for their presence in my life and also for their differences. I think we each need friend-relationships with different textures.
Interesting. I've actually told friends on a number of occasions "I'm just not your person." I've always been the type who doesn't have a lot of friends. I've always sought quality over quantity and because of that I tend to throw a lot of my love into said friendships. But, I am also a realist, and while it pains me when I see a friend growing distant from me, I've always known that this is just a part of life. So it's always bugged me when friends get super apologetic about growing apart from me. I never went anywhere, with technology today it's not hard to text or DM a friend. So, when someone doesn't make the effort, I figure they just aren't invested anymore for whatever reason, and I've literally said to a few of them "It's fine, I'm just not your person." However, it is typically not received well and I'm requested to not word it like that. But hey, it's true!
Yup and people get mad at you for not being understanding. It the modern century, if you don;t have time to text me, next. I work full time in college and still able to make time and text my friend but she could never text back. Some how I am just not understanding how busy she is 🙄 It ok if you don;t have time for your friend but also realize they will let you go. If they are that important to you then I am sure you will make then time. If not then it ok to let them go. I don;t even tell them it over cuz they always act like it my fault.
Feeling this right now. “I’m just not your person” should be a normalized thing to say. As for me, I’m on the end where I’m not the type to respond to texts often and just forgetting. It’s not personal. So you can say its the opposite of what people in the comments are saying. I treasure my friends even if we dont text often or hangout lot. I do make sure they feel heard, loved, and understood. Especially the loved part because I think it’s important to tell them you love them when you spend time with them. But if you want to text me a lot or you expect hang with you every week. Sorry I’m just not that person. That’s fine. Theres maybe someone out there who does. And I hope you find them. 🙂
I lost a friendship when I asked them to be a bridesmaid and was told they didn't feel comfortable being in the bridal party because we hadn't hung out in a while (they enjoyed going to brunch every weekend and I wasn't financially in a position to do so). I thought we were pretty good friends until she said that and i realized that she valued her friendship based on the amount of physical time spent together.
I still have no one I can call my close friend... Great insights for when I do have a potential close friend! "Conflicts are the tools to find out if the friends are your people." Beautifully put.
Friendship is a myth. People only want what they can get from others. The last so-called friendship I had ended two years ago. I’ve been fully and completely alone for the last two years.
ive always been a big fan of Taliesin Jaffe's approach to friendship (it's in his Between The Sheets interview) where he sees them as orbital and ever-changing and gets excited when he meets someone who he knows he's going to have a period where he sees them for that inevitable period when they're really close and maybe even see each other everyday or close to it for two or so years. it's comforting, how he switches the narrative like that, to be almost seasonal or "this comet of friendship will return in 5 or so years", if that makes sense lmao
I'm currently going through a friendship breakup, because they hurt me and 'can't find the time' to hangout. It's been a WHOLE YEAR. But I've learned that if someone makes you feel like ????? after you interacted, they're not good for you. I keep overthinking everything and it's hard not reaching out again, even though I won't get a response. It actually feels like a breakup and I know I will be SO relaxed the day I forget to think about them! Some people come and go, not everyone is supposed to be there the rest of our lives.
Same lmao. It's been about 2 years for me, aha.. we still get along amazingly when we hang out (not that that's happened in while..), but she can't find the time to text me. I specifically confronted her about that and she said that she just wasn't good at staying in contact with others. Screw that, but I'm still sad even though it's been ages So basically.. same. T_T hang in there
This is actually really timely, I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships and forming meaningful connections in adulthood, especially after my early 20s/friendship collecting stage was cut short by the pandemic and now that I’m out of the bubble that is college. And as a third culture kid, I keep having thoughts on whether my social circle would be bigger rn if I never moved and had stayed in the country I grew up in. Just want to share as well... I’m still recovering from the break up of a six-year friendship. It happened last year. We didn’t pass the grieve test because we were both grieving over people (deaths and heartbreaks). That was our first conflict in six years. So much miscommunication through texts even though I initiated that we meet up. She ghosted me mid argument after I suggested that we break it off so... I think that’s why it’s hard to fully move on. We never got to finish that heated convo lol.
@@leonamvinoy3008 yep I’ve been thinking of asking her if she wants to talk but I still don’t know how to go about it. But yeah you’re right, a talk will really help me move on
I’m not excited about dealing with both grief and moving this summer. And you are absolutely right. Our friends are the family we create. And we have the responsibility to ensure we surround ourselves with those who support us in all ways ♥️
i honestly am done being an extra friend, i value friendships and I think of it like a relationship we prioritize each other, so hoping i find someone with the same thinking
Thank you all for recommending Dr Akunda the great spell caster to the rest of us on here. If not for your recommendation I won’t have found help. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too,
@LordOfTheLemons i agree with this. Im bad with remembering birthdays. But if a friend tells me, I would be super excited about it and wish them a happy birthday. Soon asking if they would wanna hang or not for that day or just have a them day. Totally understandable. 🙂 I honestly forget my own birthday and just think its not really a big deal. But their birthday makes me happy for some reason.
have been feeling this growing distance with the group of friends i made during college. 4yrs after graduation, meet-ups & conversations don't hit the same and i feel so out of place with them now. i feel that we're all at different stages of life and we have nth in common anymore. it's easy to want to make new friends but it's difficult to actually make some in adulthood 😔
Friendship breakups are so much harder than relationship breakups. I feel like I dont have any close friends. I often feel lonely and dont have someone to talk to when im upset about something.
I’ve lost almost all my friends. I only really have family left (my partner, my sisters and their partners). It breaks my heart because at one point I had felt I’d truly found “my people” but turns out they didn’t see it that way towards me. Calling falling out with certain friends “little divorces” is aptly named. It’s heartbreaking to lose people you thought were always going to be there for you. 💔
Anna for me the truest test of friendship is when someone dies who is close to you or when someone has children. My mom died 3 months ago and it showed who cared and didn't care.
I just realized I didn't lose any friends during the pandemic but that's probably because I tend to maintain only my friendships with people I'm really close with.
I don't see the point in these close attachments to other people. They never reciprocate the same effort you put into the relationship and when you truly need them, no matter how much turmoil you helped them through, they are never there for you. I never get any closer to someone than as a work colleague any more. Good chance I'll move to another part of the world in 3 to 5 years anyway.
Thank you all for recommending Dr Akunda the great spell caster to the rest of us on here. If not for your recommendation I won’t have found help. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too,
My friendship with someone I know from 3 years ago came back again and the fact that his already a parent I realized we can't do the same things as we could like before. Sadly I needed to end our friendship because I don't want to be the cause of an argument between him and his partner.
I had to let go of a 15 year old relationship. It was my one and only close friend. Never had big conflicts, but that one day I started putting boundaries and called out a friend on a bs behavior without insulting her or belittleling her (bc I felt comfortable in our relationship to discuss such matters) and…my friend got mad and left. It was our 1st and last conflict. I noticed many friends of mine either faded (never wrote first, I was always the first one to write) either they stopped talking to me after out first disagreement (and the funny thing is, sometimes I would reach out first to make peace, and people would be very harsh on me, or « forgiving » but then treating me badly so I would eventually stop maintaining a relationship). True friendships when both people have common sense are a real gift !..
Does anyone else love rewatching Anna's videos? Like when Im going through another event in my life, I always find it nice to gain a new perspective to her videos~
there are people who are bad friends, people who resent you when you succeed are bad friends people who dont help you when youre down are bad friends if youve been in a street fight or gone from the bottom to the top in terms of money you know that most people are bad friends, and they dont have your back no matter what they might say, only one man in my life is who i consider a good friend.
Since I got my autism diagnosis, I've unmasked around my friends. I discovered that one of my good friends of several years is made anxious and uncomfortable by this version of me, and I haven't got the energy to maintain a friendship that can't serve me after that growth and change. I miss and treasure the good times we had, but I've let her drift away rather than persevere with something that would end in a big fight if I kept pushing.
Thank you all for recommending Dr Akunda the great spell caster to the rest of us on here. If not for your recommendation I won’t have found help. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too,
Who knew that the first dance step of the Macarena of touching your (and then your friend's) shoulders was also the first step of having a lifelong friend?
Only very few friendships of mine survived over the years, while many failed. There are some who try to come back time and time again, but I can't anymore
I accidentally slipped my fingers and scrolled back to old convos with people who claimed theyre my friends, they were so supportive and i thought i found my people until they ghosted me lol. I was doing just fine until idk why the universe led me to 'accidental scroll' bc i didnt ask for it. But yesterday i got sad seeing them have matching pics and bio and never replied to my messages. I even apologized and reached out (though i didnt know what i did wrong). But they never replied 😂 looking back at the old wound does sting
@@hellochako honestly. I felt this. I've been ghosted by friends a bunch of times, especially online friends. There there. I'm sure there are better friends for us. I've found some great people through the years. I hope you did too
I’m currently loosing my best friend and it’s hard. I don’t even know how I ended up not just at the bottom of the totem pole but buried 6 feet under it.
I moved away from my hometown a year before the pandemic so I haven't been able to go back to visit old friends, but it is telling who has kept in touch and who I've reached out to.
This surprise me cuz I have always put my friend over even dating. I lost friends because they wanted to date me or via versa so honestly having just friends means so much more to me then even a romantic relationship
I can understand the calm lol, I used to be so scared of tornados but then I lived in Kansas for a little while and realized they're very specific and easy to see approaching ... so it's easy to be laid-back about them as long as you have a clear line of sight lol. (Now that I'm back in Colorado, it's the hail all around a cell and the crazy fleeing drivers that scare me more 😂 ) Anyway here's hoping Eric and his home were/are safe!
Personally I believe that the reason it has quadrupled since 1990 is because of electronic devices; people lost their ability to communicate in real life, and/or are too distracted and spend most of their times on electronics.
Anna, please get out of my head! Literally woke up this morning thinking my friends don't care about me... and then you go and post this. Really put things in perspective & gave me much to think about! Also when Anna said Scott Derrickson, I was like... "I feel like I've heard that name before..." 🤔 Turns out that he directed Doctor Strange.
My dad kicked my mom from the house and ruined her reputation last year , my friends were the first to tell (because I chose to move in with my mom in her parents house), whatever they said was supportive however their actions said otherwise , they completely left me out , it was heartbreaking at first but I noticed a positive shift on my life
Thank you all for recommending Dr Akunda the great spell caster to the rest of us on here. If not for your recommendation I won’t have found help. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too,
Hello, my relationship is fixed again, my ex came back to me, we love each other and we are happy together, a great man helped me and brought us back together,..
I'm not a big fan of philosophers, but Cicero did have something legit to say about friendship: "Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief." This is what true friendships should do for you.
Thank you all for recommending Dr Akunda the great spell caster to the rest of us on here. If not for your recommendation I won’t have found help. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too,
i just fangirled to my friend about you (YES YOU SPECIFICALLY) and she's now fangirling over you as well, SO i think that's the truest test of friendship
Thank you all for recommending Dr Akunda the great spell caster to the rest of us on here. If not for your recommendation I won’t have found help. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too,
Funny enough, all my friendship reckonings happened between 2017-2019. I'm actually grateful, though. I wouldn't choose to go through that during the pain du mie.
I disagree with the "when you grow into a better/different person" part. I'm sorry but if you are friends with someone and they radically change who they are, I feel that is a valid reason you dont have to remain friends with them (if you don't want to of course) I'm not saying you have to end the friendship, but equally you shouldn't feel guilt to remain in it either, just to "be a good or true friend" Maybe they are not now the person, who you became friends with.
I've been an Amphibia fan for a while. And today I found out about where Anna started... And I feel like I should have watched these videos long before I heard her as Sasha Waybright, cuz they're good videos
i went in and out of in-patient and became increasingly mentally ill due to a traumatic event. i asked one of my closest friends for some extra support (specifically check in on me, please). she told me she couldn't do that and my expectations were for the friendship were too high. really difficult way for it to end and at an awful time.
Friendships can end but let it be known that daddy squarespace will always be here
😄😄😄
Daddy Squarespace takes care of us
😂😂😂😂😂
Who knows... someday she might outgrow daddy squarespace or move away from daddy like she phased out of "stay awesome, Gotham"
Lol 😹
grief is a good test. when my mom died and my friend dropped everything she was doing and told the people she was running an event with to "deal with it, my friend needs me" so she could drive across the state to be there for her service, that's when i knew she wasn't really my friend, she was my best friend. i've found me a good one and i treasure her.
that’s the kind of friend that you hold onto. i’m glad you cherish her. i have a best friend like that too.
When my mom passed away 2 years ago my best friend did the same. She was with me each moment and then i stayed at her house. Even in the lockdown she continued to text me and call me daily
We are so lucky to have such friends...
I’ve lost roughly four friends when I had death related crises, because instead of remotely being there for me they simply withdrew and started acting like I didn’t exist anymore
@@danitiwa You didnt lose them, they lost you. You won, you dont need those kind of people around.
"There's no such thing as a bad friend, there are just people who are not your people." Well said.
OH NOOOOOOOO!!! I have two girlfriends, but very few people on YT are happy for my relationship success. They disl*ke all of the videos I make with my 2 girlfriends. Please be kind, dear sa
@@AxxLAfriku tf
Yeah my ex best friend would mock my weight and body constantly. Would hang out with my exes. Not true. There are bad people in the world.
@@chocoboqueen5498 yeah imma second this one too.... This isn't just about incompatiblity as if one person is a trump support and the other isn't but they're really good people. Some people are just dickheads
@@chocoboqueen5498 Yes most friendships I have ended have been due to such behaviour. Some people are just assholes
Honestly ending a long friendship feels worse than a relationship break up
Depends on how close you were, and then yes, no matter the ship, separation from a loved one hurts.
well yes it's like letting go of the past, the precious moments. But i think a lover you've been with for a long time is as much heartbreak, unless you didn't consider him or her as your friend as well.
ssoooo true 🥺
Exactly!
Indeed! I'm through the process of one, but I believe it's for the best. It is painful. Heartbreaking. Gut-wrenchingly sad. But I just think to myself "Would my future self be proud if I continued to cling to someone who doesn't care about me?", and the answer is always no. A strong no.
One of my best friends said "true friends can grow separately, without growing apart"
1:13
1. When you tell them a hard truth
2. When you achieve significant career success
3. When you get depressed
4. When you grow into a better, different person
5. When you fail publicly and / or miserably
6. When you grieve
7. When you move (houses)
I love following Anna as she learns and shares what’s “normal” in relationships because I felt for YEARS that there was something inherently wrong with me because my friendships ended sometimes. Society really does not prepare us to lose friends and that can really mess up our self esteem
Right, since I was little I was taught through children’s stories and cartoons that “real friends last forever” and because of that, when my friendships ended, I believed that something was wrong with me
I really agree with you, I totally though there was something wrong with me... Trying to change that mentality, but when you have told yourself that all your life, it's difficult. It's a process, for sure
I really had to take a hard look at my "friends" this year and it really was like a grand purge.
I cant believe I hung on to people so long that were insulting me all the time and then just saying "it's just a joke" ... it's not healthy when it's clearly not joking. And I've even had their family members tell me things that just made me realize... I dont need that in my life.
Passive aggressive comments dressed up as humor are so, so hurtful :( cheers to you for choosing differently
Been there. Especially when I opened up about my mental health
Did you asked them to stop? If not, then you're in the wrong, but if you have then they clearly they weren't your friends. There are exceptions of course such as certain mental disorders, fears, peer pressure, etc.
Rupture and repair is so important. You find out who will put the effort in to heal with you and who would rather never talk to you again than have a hard convo.
This resonates. One of my best friends was upset at how I expressed feelings for her, so instead of talking it over she drew a bunch of uncharitable conclusions that she flung at me in a text message and then cut me off without hearing out my side. It was deeply painful, but illuminating because it showed me that rupture and repair wasn’t possible in this friendship, and that if our first conflict in 15 years wasn’t something we could talk through then the friendship’s health (given such fragility) was entirely dependent on me being easy going and tip toeing around difficult topics, and that just doesn’t strike me as healthy and balanced dynamic worth maintaining. It takes two; when someone doesn’t show up to pull their weight, silence speaks loudly
@@ryanprussin This is so true.. its truly deeply painful when they cut you off without even hearing your side and not giving any chance for the friendship ofc to me too. 😔
Every time when I watch a movie or drama, the main lead always have 1 or 2 supportive friends that grew up together and stayed together.
I always feel a small void watching such theme because I don't have this. The people I thought were my friends, all end up leaving, in a bad way in fact.
But it's nice to know that there's a study about friendships where it's normal for people to fade out.
I just hope in the future, eventually, I have at least 1 friend. Just 1....even writing this feels sad.
Lone wolf gang eyy
Hugss. I have no close friend either
I feel you
You'd be surprised how many people feel the same way you do. Among all these people, there is surely one who can be your friend. Loneliness can make us feel so warm depraved, it's easy to blur our reality.
I believe that the true measure of friendship is whether you know the person will always be there for you, and whether you make EQUAL contributions to your relationships.
That is also not solid. Facing my own self, challenged a bond of 17years of friendship. The paths sometimes really split.
I've found both of these to be somewhat true, but not entirely all the time. I think friends having their boundaries and respecting yours is more important than forcing yourself to be there for someone in some way when you can't. 'Always being there for someone' is too vague.
I do agree on the equal contributions on some level, but there will be times when one friend is not able to give as much as the other due to life circumstances. As long as this is temporary and not a permanent imbalance I feel a friendship can grow through these periods of hardship together.
@@amara560 💯 percent agree to this. Unconditional love should not equal unconditional tolerance. Putting oneself through a draining or emotionally triggering friendship over and over again for the sake of being a “good friend” defies our purpose as human beings not to mention, breeds inauthenticity and lifelong curse of just never finding a deep, fulfilling and richer friendship.
What I learnt about friendship is that great friends have their own boundaries and respect yours. This is how you don't burn yourself out and you don't give resentment a chance to grow.
It seems as if people have grouped "friends" into a single narrow group of people who satisfy every type of emotional need; this does not seem accurate to what I've seen in my life over the years. For example, I have certain friends with whom I can see about once every three months, have deep conversations and confidences, but when it comes to more daily support, I have those with whom I mesh regarding base needs (regular social contact, bonding over food, etc.) and others with whom I have deeper conversations and intimate emotional support. Some few overlap in different aspects. I appreciate them all for their presence in my life and also for their differences. I think we each need friend-relationships with different textures.
Interesting. I've actually told friends on a number of occasions "I'm just not your person." I've always been the type who doesn't have a lot of friends. I've always sought quality over quantity and because of that I tend to throw a lot of my love into said friendships. But, I am also a realist, and while it pains me when I see a friend growing distant from me, I've always known that this is just a part of life. So it's always bugged me when friends get super apologetic about growing apart from me. I never went anywhere, with technology today it's not hard to text or DM a friend. So, when someone doesn't make the effort, I figure they just aren't invested anymore for whatever reason, and I've literally said to a few of them "It's fine, I'm just not your person." However, it is typically not received well and I'm requested to not word it like that. But hey, it's true!
LOVE THIS!
Yup and people get mad at you for not being understanding. It the modern century, if you don;t have time to text me, next. I work full time in college and still able to make time and text my friend but she could never text back. Some how I am just not understanding how busy she is 🙄 It ok if you don;t have time for your friend but also realize they will let you go. If they are that important to you then I am sure you will make then time. If not then it ok to let them go. I don;t even tell them it over cuz they always act like it my fault.
I'd rather my closest ones said that to me rather than giving hints and signs, and the worst, a third party telling me.
@@MalihaMahjabin Say what? That you are no longer important to them? Or that they don't want to be friend anymore? I am confuse
Feeling this right now. “I’m just not your person” should be a normalized thing to say. As for me, I’m on the end where I’m not the type to respond to texts often and just forgetting. It’s not personal. So you can say its the opposite of what people in the comments are saying. I treasure my friends even if we dont text often or hangout lot. I do make sure they feel heard, loved, and understood. Especially the loved part because I think it’s important to tell them you love them when you spend time with them.
But if you want to text me a lot or you expect hang with you every week. Sorry I’m just not that person. That’s fine. Theres maybe someone out there who does. And I hope you find them. 🙂
When my mom got terminally ill I realised most of my friendships were only based on fun. When the fun dissapeared, they did as well
Friend's are truly the cause of most of my heartbreaks. Thanks for this, Anna! 💜
Mood honestly
I lost a friendship when I asked them to be a bridesmaid and was told they didn't feel comfortable being in the bridal party because we hadn't hung out in a while (they enjoyed going to brunch every weekend and I wasn't financially in a position to do so). I thought we were pretty good friends until she said that and i realized that she valued her friendship based on the amount of physical time spent together.
I still have no one I can call my close friend... Great insights for when I do have a potential close friend!
"Conflicts are the tools to find out if the friends are your people." Beautifully put.
Friendship is a myth. People only want what they can get from others. The last so-called friendship I had ended two years ago. I’ve been fully and completely alone for the last two years.
ive always been a big fan of Taliesin Jaffe's approach to friendship (it's in his Between The Sheets interview) where he sees them as orbital and ever-changing and gets excited when he meets someone who he knows he's going to have a period where he sees them for that inevitable period when they're really close and maybe even see each other everyday or close to it for two or so years. it's comforting, how he switches the narrative like that, to be almost seasonal or "this comet of friendship will return in 5 or so years", if that makes sense lmao
Ah yes the wisdom of our Eldritch God.
@@hannasophia18 Indeed.
It's never too late to collect new friends.
And now is a good time because so many shed so many of theirs.
When I told my ‘friend’ about my promotion, she reacted with ‘is that really a promotion’? I knew then and there she wasn’t a true friend.
I'm currently going through a friendship breakup, because they hurt me and 'can't find the time' to hangout. It's been a WHOLE YEAR.
But I've learned that if someone makes you feel like ????? after you interacted, they're not good for you. I keep overthinking everything and it's hard not reaching out again, even though I won't get a response. It actually feels like a breakup and I know I will be SO relaxed the day I forget to think about them! Some people come and go, not everyone is supposed to be there the rest of our lives.
Same lmao. It's been about 2 years for me, aha.. we still get along amazingly when we hang out (not that that's happened in while..), but she can't find the time to text me. I specifically confronted her about that and she said that she just wasn't good at staying in contact with others. Screw that, but I'm still sad even though it's been ages
So basically.. same. T_T hang in there
This is actually really timely, I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships and forming meaningful connections in adulthood, especially after my early 20s/friendship collecting stage was cut short by the pandemic and now that I’m out of the bubble that is college. And as a third culture kid, I keep having thoughts on whether my social circle would be bigger rn if I never moved and had stayed in the country I grew up in.
Just want to share as well... I’m still recovering from the break up of a six-year friendship. It happened last year. We didn’t pass the grieve test because we were both grieving over people (deaths and heartbreaks). That was our first conflict in six years. So much miscommunication through texts even though I initiated that we meet up. She ghosted me mid argument after I suggested that we break it off so... I think that’s why it’s hard to fully move on. We never got to finish that heated convo lol.
I'm here with you, the process of grieving will be harsh and tough and I wish you everything!
@@ninijade350 Thanks so much, I wish you well too!! No longer a stranger to grief 😅
Is it ok if you talk to her now again? Its been a while right. It might help you move on
@@leonamvinoy3008 yep I’ve been thinking of asking her if she wants to talk but I still don’t know how to go about it. But yeah you’re right, a talk will really help me move on
@@kibumisnotamused7 maybe try calling her. If she picks up then theres no worry of her ghosting you right? do whatever you feel is right :))
I’m not excited about dealing with both grief and moving this summer. And you are absolutely right. Our friends are the family we create. And we have the responsibility to ensure we surround ourselves with those who support us in all ways ♥️
i honestly am done being an extra friend, i value friendships and I think of it like a relationship we prioritize each other, so hoping i find someone with the same thinking
I wish that for you!
"Conflict is the information you need to figure that out" absolutely love that b/c it helps us remember that conflict isn't a bad thing
This came in a time where I'm really torn and in pain because of certain friendships. This helped a lot. Thank you so much!
Do you think So or you really need help .💁,
Thank you all for recommending Dr Akunda the great spell caster to the rest of us on here. If not for your recommendation I won’t have found help. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too,
Wtzp Dr Akunda.
➕𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 ♻️♻️🚻🎦🎦你好，現在怎麼,
I also measure friendship by who remembers your birthday AND reaches out to you on days other than your bday. These are great ways to measure for sure
I started doing this and was told by my bestie I was being over dramatic. Needless to say I cut ties pretty quickly after that.
@LordOfTheLemons i agree with this. Im bad with remembering birthdays. But if a friend tells me, I would be super excited about it and wish them a happy birthday. Soon asking if they would wanna hang or not for that day or just have a them day. Totally understandable. 🙂
I honestly forget my own birthday and just think its not really a big deal. But their birthday makes me happy for some reason.
have been feeling this growing distance with the group of friends i made during college. 4yrs after graduation, meet-ups & conversations don't hit the same and i feel so out of place with them now. i feel that we're all at different stages of life and we have nth in common anymore. it's easy to want to make new friends but it's difficult to actually make some in adulthood 😔
Friendships are like romantic relationships, draining and take so much work. I love being alone lol
I'm never able to keep friends for a long period of time and I feel better after watching this! Thanks Anna 😀
A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body.
Friendship's are still intact, all these years. Family on the other hand,can keep on stepping and stay clear
I just love how your brain access things differently
Friendship breakups are so much harder than relationship breakups.
I feel like I dont have any close friends. I often feel lonely and dont have someone to talk to when im upset about something.
Yes. It's so hard to move on when you see them everyday. I can relate to you my dear. I guess they're not our people. Let's find new friends again.
I’ve lost almost all my friends. I only really have family left (my partner, my sisters and their partners). It breaks my heart because at one point I had felt I’d truly found “my people” but turns out they didn’t see it that way towards me. Calling falling out with certain friends “little divorces” is aptly named. It’s heartbreaking to lose people you thought were always going to be there for you. 💔
Anna for me the truest test of friendship is when someone dies who is close to you or when someone has children. My mom died 3 months ago and it showed who cared and didn't care.
I believe those lost are sometimes referred to as "fair weather" friends.
I just realized I didn't lose any friends during the pandemic but that's probably because I tend to maintain only my friendships with people I'm really close with.
I don't see the point in these close attachments to other people. They never reciprocate the same effort you put into the relationship and when you truly need them, no matter how much turmoil you helped them through, they are never there for you. I never get any closer to someone than as a work colleague any more. Good chance I'll move to another part of the world in 3 to 5 years anyway.
the bit I resonated most with was the parenthood bit where she is holding a cat
Seriously the older you get the less people are willing to battle through a dissagrement for the sake of friendship.
Right when I just had light breakdown after accidentally rereading old messages of ex friends who ghosted me 😂 thanks anna
Do you need help on this...
Thank you all for recommending Dr Akunda the great spell caster to the rest of us on here. If not for your recommendation I won’t have found help. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too,
Wtzp Dr Akunda.
➕𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 ♻️♻️🚻🎦🎦你好，現在怎麼,
I love getting friendship advice from Sasha Waybright /lh
Lost of reputation is a huge test. The Will Smith situation is a huge example. Will will truly know who his real friends are!
Love this!! Thank you Anna! I am working on being more ok with the seasonality of friendships.
My friendship with someone I know from 3 years ago came back again and the fact that his already a parent I realized we can't do the same things as we could like before. Sadly I needed to end our friendship because I don't want to be the cause of an argument between him and his partner.
I know I am soo lucky to still be close friends with people I’ve known since elementary school.
Dude I love this convo AA!
Def feeling this right now. Thanks for this Anna, always appreciative of your friendship content
Love these little short informative videos Anna ! Nice job ❤️🤝🏾
I had to let go of a 15 year old relationship. It was my one and only close friend. Never had big conflicts, but that one day I started putting boundaries and called out a friend on a bs behavior without insulting her or belittleling her (bc I felt comfortable in our relationship to discuss such matters) and…my friend got mad and left. It was our 1st and last conflict.
I noticed many friends of mine either faded (never wrote first, I was always the first one to write) either they stopped talking to me after out first disagreement (and the funny thing is, sometimes I would reach out first to make peace, and people would be very harsh on me, or « forgiving » but then treating me badly so I would eventually stop maintaining a relationship).
True friendships when both people have common sense are a real gift !..
Does anyone else love rewatching Anna's videos? Like when Im going through another event in my life, I always find it nice to gain a new perspective to her videos~
Thank you Anna my therapist😭❤️
there are people who are bad friends, people who resent you when you succeed are bad friends people who dont help you when youre down are bad friends if youve been in a street fight or gone from the bottom to the top in terms of money you know that most people are bad friends, and they dont have your back no matter what they might say, only one man in my life is who i consider a good friend.
The aggression behind father 🤣🤣🤣 also can I plz have ur therapist
*Growing together* & supporting each other's growth is so vital... this was insightful, thank you ♡●☆
Since I got my autism diagnosis, I've unmasked around my friends. I discovered that one of my good friends of several years is made anxious and uncomfortable by this version of me, and I haven't got the energy to maintain a friendship that can't serve me after that growth and change. I miss and treasure the good times we had, but I've let her drift away rather than persevere with something that would end in a big fight if I kept pushing.
Impeccable timing with this one. 👏 👏 😅
This is so incredibly delivered. Love you for this, Anna ❤️
Do you think So or you really need help .💁,
Thank you all for recommending Dr Akunda the great spell caster to the rest of us on here. If not for your recommendation I won’t have found help. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too,
Wtzp Dr Akunda.
➕𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 ♻️♻️🚻🎦🎦你好，現在怎麼,
Who knew that the first dance step of the Macarena of touching your (and then your friend's) shoulders was also the first step of having a lifelong friend?
Only very few friendships of mine survived over the years, while many failed. There are some who try to come back time and time again, but I can't anymore
Great vid. Wish it were longer.
Does anybody else have the urge to wanna check on their ex friends by going through their socials? Tell me it's not just me. Lol
YESS, some people don't like that and i don't understand why☹️ i promised id always be here for you man
I accidentally slipped my fingers and scrolled back to old convos with people who claimed theyre my friends, they were so supportive and i thought i found my people until they ghosted me lol. I was doing just fine until idk why the universe led me to 'accidental scroll' bc i didnt ask for it. But yesterday i got sad seeing them have matching pics and bio and never replied to my messages. I even apologized and reached out (though i didnt know what i did wrong). But they never replied 😂 looking back at the old wound does sting
Sameee ☹️
@@hellochako honestly. I felt this. I've been ghosted by friends a bunch of times, especially online friends. There there. I'm sure there are better friends for us. I've found some great people through the years. I hope you did too
I’m currently loosing my best friend and it’s hard. I don’t even know how I ended up not just at the bottom of the totem pole but buried 6 feet under it.
I moved away from my hometown a year before the pandemic so I haven't been able to go back to visit old friends, but it is telling who has kept in touch and who I've reached out to.
I love my friends sooo much
This surprise me cuz I have always put my friend over even dating. I lost friends because they wanted to date me or via versa so honestly having just friends means so much more to me then even a romantic relationship
That was really good
I can understand the calm lol, I used to be so scared of tornados but then I lived in Kansas for a little while and realized they're very specific and easy to see approaching ... so it's easy to be laid-back about them as long as you have a clear line of sight lol. (Now that I'm back in Colorado, it's the hail all around a cell and the crazy fleeing drivers that scare me more 😂 ) Anyway here's hoping Eric and his home were/are safe!
Personally I believe that the reason it has quadrupled since 1990 is because of electronic devices; people lost their ability to communicate in real life, and/or are too distracted and spend most of their times on electronics.
As it happens, people outgrow people & it's okay even when it stings
AHHH SHE'S BACKKK
What timing! Just what I needed!
I'm almost 19 and I barely have any friends. Really scared for what is to come
Friends come and go but the ones stick around make time for you
Real friends will always have your back, no matter what.
Anna, please get out of my head! Literally woke up this morning thinking my friends don't care about me... and then you go and post this. Really put things in perspective & gave me much to think about!
Also when Anna said Scott Derrickson, I was like... "I feel like I've heard that name before..." 🤔 Turns out that he directed Doctor Strange.
Whu dont they care?
Grieving and all of my friends of five+ years kicked me while I was down.
i needed this 🥺
i’ve never been this early but this topic feels very important
sometimes its ok for friendships to move on and change, didn't mean they weren't real friends at the time.
My dad kicked my mom from the house and ruined her reputation last year , my friends were the first to tell (because I chose to move in with my mom in her parents house), whatever they said was supportive however their actions said otherwise , they completely left me out , it was heartbreaking at first but I noticed a positive shift on my life
Me with literally with no friends: 👁👄👁
Do you think So or you really need help .💁,
Thank you all for recommending Dr Akunda the great spell caster to the rest of us on here. If not for your recommendation I won’t have found help. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too,
Wtzp Dr Akunda.
➕𝟚𝟛𝟜𝟠𝟙𝟘𝟛𝟠𝟘𝟛𝟙𝟚𝟘 ♻️♻️🚻🎦🎦你好，現在怎麼,.
Looks over lovingly at my friend I’ve kept since middle school* 💖
Do you think So or you really need help .💁,
Hello, my relationship is fixed again, my ex came back to me, we love each other and we are happy together, a great man helped me and brought us back together,..
Wtzp Dr Akunda.
➕𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 ♻️♻️🚻🎦🎦你好，現在怎麼,
I'm not a big fan of philosophers, but Cicero did have something legit to say about friendship:
"Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief."
This is what true friendships should do for you.
I LOVE that blouse!
Do you think So or you really need help .💁,
Thank you all for recommending Dr Akunda the great spell caster to the rest of us on here. If not for your recommendation I won’t have found help. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too,
Wtzp Dr Akunda.
➕𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 ♻️♻️🚻🎦🎦你好，現在怎麼,
i just fangirled to my friend about you (YES YOU SPECIFICALLY) and she's now fangirling over you as well, SO i think that's the truest test of friendship
Do you think So or you really need help .💁,
Thank you all for recommending Dr Akunda the great spell caster to the rest of us on here. If not for your recommendation I won’t have found help. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too,
Wtzp Dr Akunda.
➕𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 ♻️♻️🚻🎦🎦你好，現在怎麼,
Funny enough, all my friendship reckonings happened between 2017-2019. I'm actually grateful, though. I wouldn't choose to go through that during the pain du mie.
Wonderful information!! Thanks a lot Anna❤️
This was much needed.
What do you do if all the friendships you had in your "friendship collecting stage" have faded away by the time you reach middle age?
Great content. Verbalized my experiences with old relationships very well.
I disagree with the "when you grow into a better/different person" part. I'm sorry but if you are friends with someone and they radically change who they are, I feel that is a valid reason you dont have to remain friends with them (if you don't want to of course)
I'm not saying you have to end the friendship, but equally you shouldn't feel guilt to remain in it either, just to "be a good or true friend" Maybe they are not now the person, who you became friends with.
I've been an Amphibia fan for a while. And today I found out about where Anna started... And I feel like I should have watched these videos long before I heard her as Sasha Waybright, cuz they're good videos
I’ve never had casual friends before
I made one friend in middle school and we never detached
great topic! Love this. Made me think.
i went in and out of in-patient and became increasingly mentally ill due to a traumatic event. i asked one of my closest friends for some extra support (specifically check in on me, please). she told me she couldn't do that and my expectations were for the friendship were too high. really difficult way for it to end and at an awful time.
I'm happy that I found you again.
I love this one!