I'm 38 yrs in, married to one vicious deceitful being, and your spot on its a nightmare. I'm working towards the end of it, Its my life i want to live whats left of it. good luck to you all
Yes! Thinking that I might inadvertently hurt someone else tortures me. Even when dealing w/ abuse. However, once I understood what I was dealing w/. I became merciless. They were stunned. Never felt so good about myself!
Been out of narc relationship for 18 yrs. I discarded her. Have never had a hoover. Imagine that, her cheating lies deceit. She punched me in the face right out of the blue. That was the last straw, my love for her died at that very instant. She beged me to stop divorce proceedings, what could she do for me to stop. I told her short of me dying, nothing. She tried to use sex, hell yes I had sex with her, got up next morning left and have never gone back.18yrs of total peace. Horrible person, I think she found out that I was a whole lot stronger than she thought I was. Therapist said I was a strong empath. Stay true to yourself folks, there is true happiness after dealing with these kind of demons.
After dealing with a narcissist we're a lot stronger than what we think we are, that's the biggest mistake that the narcissist makes, they underestimated the power of the empaths👍 Paula thanks for the video 🙏
After 2 years of disrespect I finally stood up to him and oh no he went to his doctor discussing my 'mental problem' which the doctor proceeded to itemise on paper with him bringing it back to show me. I decided it best I meet his doctor to discuss these comments and show him the person I was. He turned over the comments page and wrote my partner was a narcissist and had used the doctor and myself and to leave him. I sent this back to him which resulted with him becoming extremely upset and spiteful once again. I finally understand and have peace.
This was so spot on for me. Especially the part where you said once the empath becomes educated on the subject of narcissism or the fact that the narcissist does not have their best interest at heart, we can't unsee that! I can't go back and it's a very powerful thing. Once I figured out my ex best friend was a narcissist, now I can't unsee that I am surrounded by narcissists! I am working on me now and distancing from toxic people.
I met up a handful of times with soneone i hadnt seen for years,the gaslighting started first meet up I gave being mates a chance cos we hadnt seen each other for years and they said they could give me some support. I deleted their number two days ago . So much control and lies. There ae so many demonic people around now. Im so done wth the weirdness of this world.
Morning Alex Merrill Dragon Queen. That's a mouthful 😊. Same here for me. Finally understanding how narcissism works and how detrimentally we are affected you realize you have to protect yourself or be destroyed. It's sad, but empowering. Stay well.
Yep, exactly the same. Can't unsee it, and realize that there are others in our inner circle. You go through it, and some years later you meet another one unknowingly, dating .. you tell them your history of it .. and they go and bloody do the same thing. Spotted and healed much quicker these days.
My sister ( Golden Child) married my ex -boyfriend of many yrs. I was in agreement, it was 25 yrs ago. He was sick with CANCER, so who AM I?? He died,she lost & learned NO lessons, I did. I was in therapy, I began too see ,where I would have normally agreed 👍🏾. When I saw the " Hatred" my beloved older ( Big) sister had for me,OMG !! That's when I became ...." SuperNova " I have NOT spoken to my sister, Mother( who was behind it all) or my TWIN brother in years . I'm healing.
I am that Empath that you described. I didn’t discard the Narcissist and he didn’t discard me. God got rid of him in a spiritual act. The Narcissist had an altercation with my daughter. She pushed him out the front door and the police arrived. She defended herself and a friend that the Narcissist was attacking. he went into a Narcissistic rage. I was out of town. GOD SAID NO MORE EVIL IN THIS HOUSE. I now see his evil agenda. A year and two months later he is nothing to me. No Contact- DAY ONE. Therapy, Prayer and listening to content creators has brought me back to life. My soul is too important to give away to subhumans ever again. They use us and think we don’t have strength. We are actually much stronger than them. God provides me with strength and discernment.
If you leave first, they turn into the stalker from Hell, unfortunately. Not because they want you back for the right reasons, but so they can then leave you &... "win". They really ARE pathetic.
This is what happened in my situation. My narc ex discarded me after I expressed being uncomfortable about a new friendship he was entertaining with another girl. He accused me of being controlling and jealous. When he hoovered me, I took him back, of course. I did ask him if anything had happened with his new "friend". He swore she was always just a friend and told me he wouldn't hang out with her anymore. Nine months in, I couldn't shake the idea that he hadn't told me the whole truth, and I knew he would get really angry if I brought it up. So, when he was out of the house, I looked at his computer and found out that he had been lying. He slept with the other girl multiple times, while he was also hoovering me. He eventually discarded her, but still messaging her as "friends". She didn't know he was back with me. I broke up with him that day and blocked him. No contact since then, it's been 3 years. I educated myself afterwards and felt so validated.
Hi, yes, as he was dumping me I interrupted him and said "I'll do you a favor and break up with you." I immediately blocked him. Have been no contact 6.6 months now. I didn't realize I was an empath til I watched these videos. I was so open w/my feelings, my thoughts, secrets. I believed in being honest and truth always. I didn't like it how he would discriminate against Hispanics, the homeless, etc because he was 'too good' for them. He always thought of me as weak and spineless cuz I'd cry. I know he's shocked that I've been no contact and have held my ground despite flying monkeys being very sneaky. For me, the first 5 months were brutal but a miracle happened at 6 months! It was over! It was like waking up from a nightmare. Stand your ground. Stay strong. Pray 🙏 Pray all the time because this creature brought evil into our home. My mom and I experienced spiritual Warfare. I'm now awake alert and aware. Be safe out there. God bless 🙌 🙏 ❤️
Once you figure out a narcissist, it forces you to analyze all of your relationships. And in my case, there are usually other narcissists you have been putting up with. Thank you Paula.
@@jennilynmae I totally understand. After having 2 narcissistic husbands, it gave me clarity that my father is one, my father in law, mother in law and most of the in laws that I no longer deal with. Sadly my 28 year old son , 23 year old daughter and 18 year old daughter. The 18 year old is just like her dad. She still lives at home. She just graduated. We were literally evicted a couple years ago, when I found out that she had been making in between 1600-2000 a month on her job. I was flabbergasted!! She can have a pocket full of money and won’t offer to buy you a soda if it’s hot, and get mad if you ask for one. It’s ok though. She can’t stay in my home much longer like she is. She will need to get her own place or go on to college as she has planned🤷♀️
This is exactly what's happening now. Once in a while I'll pass the ex on the road and he'll wave at me and I pretend I didn't even see him. Just keep focused on healing, draw closer to the Lord, and make the right choices. Eventually, God will vindicate you and you'll be a stronger, happier person.
Honesty is my choice. They are able to change my behavior but they couldn't change my core. We all have these traits for survival but they are extremists and unbalanced. They are paranoid monster toddlers
The Key is Push Over. Who gives the narc. Permission to "push"" over.? Discard Them. My X husband constantly called me a Unsinkable Molly Brown.!!! One day the light went on. Just what does he mean by that. Later I found out he had a mistress that ended ( Iended the marriage,divorced him) He later suffered with bone cancer. No one including his mistress would take care of him.She ran away. Yes, they Do tell on themselves.
I agree, they couldn't change our core. We are stable, that's why we were attractive to them, but their jealousy compelled them to try and destroy us. Nuts or what?..
@@darcybarwick3766 they dont have any regard for God,they are often suicidal plus they kno they are of the devil,they find it funny while they have enablers,then its not so funny when they start reaping what they sow
Boundaries and dealbreakers are so essential. More to the point, honour yourself and your values. Never again will I compromise my values and allow anyone to push my buttons or my boundaries. Leading an authentic, good and successful life is the best revenge. Trust me! (8 years out now!). Keep in mind that narcs will never evolve or flourish. They will be forever this: a spoiled, bratty, entitled 5 year old child in an adult body! 😂. Take care! I left the narcissist 8 years ago and turned their silent treatment into permanent no-contact. That was the ultimate injury to their sick ego. Value yourself, your time and your energy above all else. Paula you’re right! - they are parasites that mirror our good qualities, future fake to the hilt and are experts at the rushing of intimacy. Their actions NEVER match their words. Pay close attention. ❤
I played dumb a lot towards the end. He could not get reactions out of me. I just focused on myself and goals. I LOVE how he warned me years ago that he would haunt me... he had it so terribly wrong.
My narcissist ex husband brought me to my knees. When I continued to call out his abuse during our marriage he found new supply and discarded me, left me stranded in another country and refused to let me come back to our home. The depths of my despair and shock led me to get educated and it was as if a spotlight was guiding me once I understood he was a narcissist and that what had occurred to me was emotional abuse and that despite him telling me I was the one to blame, I saw the truth. It took me awhile in my journey to get educated, and for months after my discard I was still engaging and reacting to his continued abuse, bread crumbs and further devaluation. But when I finally went full no contact, my healing accelerated. It has been a very difficult road, but I am happy to now call myself a survivor not a victim. Hang in there, your goodness and your work will give you peace in your life.
Oh my goodness! Your statement just HIT me hard. That's why he "chose" me - so I could bring stability to his life. They are so out of control and never see it. THEY NEED US! Thanks.
I have loved my recovery journey and love the person that I have become, I am 3 years now separated, 1.5 years divorced. My children and I are happier then ever. I've relocated away from him, had his parental rights terminated based on grounds of abandonment, bought a brand new house, going back to school to get my Batchlors, which is what I wanted to do before marrying the narc. I have not only got myself back but I have gained so much self love, confidence and renewed my love for God, and I have discernment to spot other narcs, I cut them lose right away and I live such a peaceful life. I started educating myself once I had thoughts of him being a narc, it was so validating and became almost obsessive on narc videos, I started gray rocking him and watched closely. I started setting boundaries and sticking to those boundaries and then he raged, I was scared so I got a hotel with the kids and got a restraining order, he took off cowardly to his parents house over 3,000 miles away, filed for divorce and have not seen him since. This was very hard at first because I was alone in Alaska with young children and time of covid, schools were closed and I had to work to pay all the bills, I didn't know how I survived BUT GOD provided everything we needed and brought us to the promise land. I love my life now, and happy that I broke the chains of abuse!
I am that type of empath and no contact starts now thank you, cheating should have been enough to stop me from being addicted to this awful relationship that was toxic for me
Also remember due to our kindhearted, empathic nature we were a super fantastic source of supply. And even if the narcissist says s/he made the break they still have more to lose. Why? Because there was such an imbalance in the relationship where the ratio was 90 to 10, the narcissist has more to lose. And the empath has everything to gain no matter who initiated the break. And when it becomes apparent we are gone for good. And we are unrecoverable, this hurts the narcissist to his/her core.
This is one of the best comments I have seen on narcissists and empaths. Because it is so true when we look back at it and finally realize we are free from all the stress, one-sidedness, disrespect, negativity, and game playing that wore us down. And in my case rescuing from one crisis after another thinking I could get him to a stable place before I left. And we don't go back like you said. We may give too much for too long, but once we see the truth, we know better than to treat ourselves to more abuse. We may forgive them down the road, but we don't go back because we learn from our experiences.
Once you see it, it can't be unseen. You see that person in a whole new light. Self preservation kicks in, you walk away and you don't. look. back. Take care yourselves.
Paula, your sincere and honest information has literally saved me. I am in the process of being taken down financially by my husband, as he promised, because I had the gall to leave(ing) him. For those of you in the same situation remember "the noble man plans noble things and by noble things he stands...Isaiah 32:8...keep your eyes above on God and on acting with integrity and honesty and honor....traits your narcissist knows nothing about. No matter what happens to you, live your live with love and faith in God and Jesus Christ and you WILL be the victor. I promise.
I admire your resilience and devotion to your spiritual integrity. It's truly what holds us together during these expriences with cluster B's. Thank you for sharing. I wish you the best. Blessings.
Me too, he keeps resigning from jobs and taking out his pension money so I get nothing out of settlement. He once told me that I will leave with the suitcases I came with. Keep strong dear one🙏
Another impressive video! Compliment! After many years in a relationship with a narcissist, I've finally managed to break free. It's just great to be FREE in the truest sense of the word. First of all, it's just great to be alone, no one bothers you, you can hear the murmur of the stream, enjoy the singing of the birds ... and this peace and quiet is GORGEOUS! Being alone does not mean being lonely. Quite the contrary: you have won something great: you have yourself again!
Even in the throes of the devaluation and discard we must live our truth. The narcissist resents us when they realize they can break down all of our boundaries but they can’t break us from our truth.
This video exactly relates to me I am a total Empath,I educated myself by watching videos such as this along with Dr Les Carter,3 years on and are house has just been sold,I totally discarded him very difficult at times but I am nearing the end of this 40 year marriage Hallelujah hang in there Guys thank you for your great insight Paula❤
Yes .. I'm that type of empath. It doesn't mean you don't feel that immense pain .. we're human. It DOES mean that they are nothing like us and they matter nothing to us by the end of all this .. and they don't actually get away with what they did to us .. but it's nothing to do with us. We DO talk, we don't gossip, we don't smear, we just tell the truth, we don't keep it hidden, we have no reason to protect them. Please .. give them nothing .. what we have is nothing to do with them, they get no credit for it, and they don't get to enjoy or benefit from it .. definitely not even your heart and light that you gave freely to them .. and definitely not an ounce of the pain you suffered from their self-serving ways.
My strength came from self dignity after turning and twisting to please that insatiable monster I realized that I must leave with dignity .. best decision ever
You hit the nail on the head. I rose up, got out first. I cut down all contact, blocked all attempts of his heat checking, hoovering and triangulation. I acted like he no longer existed. He tried to use my kids and they shut him down too. I used my strength, compassion for myself and what I had learned to turn the tables on him. Check mate! Thanks for all you taught me and the hard lessons I learned from him to become his nemesis.
I didnt know I had these special traits in me. I just got so tired of the disrespect and abuse til one day I got up and I said "get out". Long story short I took him to the airport and he stood there looking in disbelief as I road off into that beaytiful sunset to pursue my true purpose. I gave him what he asked for, NO MORE ME! Thank you for being part of my life's journey. You are always hitting the nail on the head with your videos❤😊
Me too. I drove him to the airport and the Dixie Chicks "Wide Open Spaces" was playing on the radio. He didnt know it was the last time he'd ever see me but I did.☺️ I remember being amused that he was singing along and didn't have a clue. Driving off and finally FREE. 🎉🎉 Nothing comes close to that freedom and joy, except for the peace I now have had these past 11 years.
I went no contact over a month ago. He didn't discard me the last time. I just went off the grid and haven't seen or heard of him since then. I'm at peace with myself ❤
Good video. The Empath does indeed have the qualities of truth, fairness and justice. This I believe, eventually led me to challenge the Narcs behaviour towards me. I was then given the 'final discard'. I chased initially for an explanation and closure, which I didn't receive. Potent fuel for the Narcissist. Discovered he used my traits and hobbies on a dating app. Totally fake persona. My power now as an Empath, is no contact, indifference and no reaction at all. Thanks Paula. x
I'm finding it's taken me a longggg time to get to the place where I don't care what they think of me. When I was unaware as a teen I think I was used as a flying monkey. Then I was tormented by them. As an adult I came to realize the level of manipulation had me thinking my father was a narcissist but really my brother was pulling the strings. Bru discarded Dad and me when we got Covid together. Tried to take over Dad's person and estate but I guess Uncle Sam is a bigger narcissist, cause he took over. After 2 years recovery, I feel like I've been going through the grieving process. Let's see, I've been through denial, grief, fury, and I'm reaching the point where bru just doesn't mean much to me. A part of me will always love my little brother, but it has to be at a distance because at this stage he only means me harm. I find it rather easy now to gray rock him. Sad. How much I'd hoped he'd come around and he didn't. It was years of torment, mocking, taunting, stealing, deception, jealousy, diversion, division, fighting, cruelty. All along we treated him with such love and hope that he'd come around. He didn't. I guess we'd just gotten used to this behavior as his normal. Being away from him now I can realize how very bad he's become, how abnormal and stunted. Those hollow eyes.
Really, my grandfather malignant narcissist used to say to me "No one will ever "love" you as much as your grandfather". He never loved me...Thank You!!:))!!
YES! I had the car packed, ready to leave and he rang me while I was driving away to say"out relationship is shit" I said yes it is. OK bye! Then he wrote all over Facebook that HE LEFT ME! It was so important to him for everyone to think it was him, which is of course, backfiring on him in court. I have gone through months of homelessness and no money and starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. He thinks EVERYTHING is his. The entire house and everything from an 8 year relationship. Unreal monsters. Pathetic
YES! I tried to leave him once and he crucified me in court. Several years later, I'm in the process of leaving again but this time I've documented, hired lawyer and therapist who specialize in Narc abuse victims and, most importantly, I see him for the pathetic, sad individual he is. I'm out of this toxic, unhealthy relationship. However, I'm not naive and know what he is capable of - thank goodness God is bigger and stronger.
Spot on again. Yes you are absolutely right. Never thought I'd see the day to thank my Narc for the better person I became. He tried to come back, but my new improved model of myself inside and out would have non of it... He returned back to his his old familiar self. I truly feel sad for these people. Don't look for revenge just take the opportunity for such "relationships" to find the beauty within ❤
I did discard him first...he underestimated my strength .....it is possible to stand in your light and use this to move forward....never let any one dim your light again...yes it was hard and post relationship I never looked back.....I am rebuilding and emerging stronger than ever....dont care about any of the old associates...I cut all ties...thank you for explaining this...Reclaiming ourselves and focusing on our own gifts is the pathway....I agree as I thrive any pretend bs he tries to say will crumble most important to remember anyone who he could influence is no one worth my time. Once you know really know who a narc is but MORE importantly KNOW who YOU are...they are defeated and you will shine again!!!
Yes, I am that empath, who peeled back his mask, in front of him. It was so strange watching him, trying to cover lie over lie, and messing each lie up. The way I watched as he tried to cover his lies, and trying to convince me otherwise. The mind games and manipulation wasn't having the same effect anymore, but still I watch as he thought at first they were. I trusted my intuition all the way, and it certainly didn't steer me wrong. I just knew what was a lie and that wasn't and gave him a short interrupt reply of "your lying" . He would get angry and I stayed calm, let him have his tantrum for as long and just repeated " it's a lie, when I told you before that I just know, I mean it, I just know, so pointless wasting your energy trying to convince me otherwise" and everytime I knew he lied, I told him, but honestly wasn't bothered why and wasn't bothered about listening to why either, which came across loud and clear to him. I remember sitting with him in the kitchen and him telling me some lie again, and seeing behind that mask. I told him, " that mask you wear may fool many, but not me". There is so much more I could tell you, but it would take forever and I closed him down and told him before I did. That I prayed his karma would be gentle, that the only way out is through and I can't help you, only you can do that, I told him how at this moment he wouldn't understand what I am saying, and that " he will " . That he will need antidepressants, a counsellor and prayers so many prayers to get through what s about to come his way and there was nothing i could do. I told him not to forget these words as it may be your only guide when the dark really hits. In all honesty though I did pray for him, as I know what to come was far, far more worst than he could imagine and prayed that his karma would be kind. But I know. Like I told him " I just know"
This is so funny! I'm the empath who broke free, quietly packing every day while he was at work and dropping off boxes at my friends house. I recently found messages he sent his children saying I'm FINALLY gone and HE ASKED ME TO LEAVE 😂😂
2, I really relate to your video, I am an empathetic who went non verbal to the narcissist about 1year ago. I stayed in a room for about 3 weeks prior to taking my bags and leaving the state! As a matter of fact it is you who I first listened too!, I have worked in psych field for about 30 years. So, to some degree I honed my own defense in the end. The day I left I left the house key and car keys in the house. Did not say anything at all. Since then no contact, I agree with Paula, I imagine my x ended up kicked in his own BS that he played on me to control me! I am still recovering from this experience, however, it also showed me how well I can stand up for myself. This happened after a lifetime of being used, controlled, and unable to set boundaries for myself!! Thank you Paula❤
I suffered a devastating encounter with a narcissist bringing in religious abuse, allying with some fairly well known and powerful people in New York. This was in my mid-30s. Because of that experience, I met a married couple, both philosophers, scholars, religious and spiritual researchers. I cannot imagine my life without them. Nice work, a-holes. It brought me to Jesus, family, love - in exactly the way you never intended.
When I have had enough !! I go " superNova" I have this superpower I CAN'T control. They get KARMA FAST!! My mother is a Malignant Narc,she taught me all my Narc qualities 😇
I am an empath, and I am taking care of my narcissistic mother. If I stop taking care of her she goes to a nursing home. I'm about ready to just let her go. She doesn't deserve my care. Financially it's hard for me to leave right now but thank God I have friends to help. One thing I have learned through all this is to love and honor myself. I am being the loving parent to myself that I didn't have
Just remember to a narcissist fuel is fuel. Positive attention is preferred but negative is perfectly fine as well. Any type of a reaction is confirmation to them they exist and have an impact on you. This is why you must find the strength to stop reacting. Take that energy and put it into refuelling yourself. To become the person you were always meant to become before we allowed the narcissist to become such a huge energy-sucking distraction. And make it be about your own happiness not anything at all to do with them. And yes ironically enough this is the worst thing you can do to them because they actually believe your job was to remain their life long slave. So they are deeply offended when you decide to reclaim your autonomy.
I see myself as honest, and was raised in a large family 10 people. We were raised to be honest don't lie steal and be fair. I became involved in a relationship with a narcissist, I fell in love, and was very happy. After about a year of dating,the relationship seem to change like 360 turn. I felt a darkness and sneaky or deceptive behavior. One night I couldn't reach the narc on phone and sensed the worst my intuition told me something wasn't right. We didn't live together yet although had plans too. We communicated every night. I realized through narcs behavior they were possibly cheating. I broke up after questioning them and not convinced they were telling the truth. They pleaded to meet with me too talk. We planned on talking the next day I got a text next morning they felt it was best for us to let go. And then I was blocked.. That's when I started looking for answers and found narcissist. Never knew what one was. But , after learning about narcissistic behavior I began to see red flags. I was somewhat in shock...I felt like I had been with a con artist, in other words SWINDLED.
Paula, this was an outstanding video, one that I will watch again. Thank you. I really struggled with leaving the narcissist. For me, there was no choice when I understood what was in front of me. So, when I discarded the narcissist, and went no-contact, he was blindsided because he never calculated that I would leave him. He was busy activating flying monkeys and getting supply. The narcissist raged from the narcissistic injury that my discard inflicted on him. He delayed and corrupted the divorce, and it became increasingly dangerous for me as he became increasingly unhinged. Along with the narcissism there was addiction and I suspect mental illness as well. My recovery and healing from the narcissistic abuse consisted of sitting with and going through the pain, educating myself on narcissism, and learning about myself. It takes the time that it takes. I am so proud of how I conducted myself during the epic smear campaign put on by the narcissist. It was excruciating. I stayed true to my moral code, focused on myself, and was not reactive or malicious. It is still hard for me to believe that the narcissist would ever feel regret or loss, after the vicious things he did and said.
You know you've got them running scared when they become unhinged. It's very scary but necessary. My divorce was horrible , unnecessarily and undeservedly but that's how they play. However this is when he exposed himself to the courts. I remember thinking towards the end ( during which his behaviour escalated ) he was exhausted and throwing tennis balls at me , I was throwing hand grenades back at him. Evidential truth bombs that he could not deny. In the end he threw in the towel. THEY'RE NOT STRONG, WE ARE. When we rise, look out!!! Hope this helps, keep going, what's the alternative. Thank you Paula, excellent content...
O just want to say Paula! I believe you saved my life. Your in my ears the whole day. When I feel lonely I listen to one of your videos. Please keep up the work. Your helping so many people. Your not doing it for fame or to get seen , but to really help. You are really a mentor and someone to look up to.
I give thanks to God for the experience, because it has made me stronger than I ever Imagined. The ability to go silent even when they have tried to draw me in with blameful and devaluing text messages and then phone calls of which I haven’t responded to any. Has given me power of which I am very much aware that I possess is so freedom giving. But also through it all I feel spiritualy awakened in away that I’ve never experienced on this level before. He’ the Holy Spirit is so powerful 🙌
Thanks Miss Paula! Your messages continue to confirm that I am on the right track in my recovery. Concentrate on healing and on learning and becoming strong & not running out looking for a new relationship. Be kind to yourself and give it time. Time for ups and downs… at 8 months since going no contact, there are more up’s than downs now! ❤
So true. I've dealt with all of this. From a young woman I was determined not to succumb to narcissist tendencies continually. I will take their power quickly even if it means living life without them. I'm standing strong by God's grace and mercy. Narcissist will eventually be revealed or some day their evil actions will back fire on them.
I am the heyoka Empath wich is the most powerful and the only Empath born with the supernatural gift of prophecy and discernment...! AMEN 😇 Anointed and Apointed Chosen one 1⃣
A therapist called the way I left my narc ex narcissistic because I had planned it for months. I felt so bad. I was able to escape the narc because someone warned me about him, it was a lightball moment. It was the first time I heard about narcissism.i got so angry and felt so stupid and started preparing my escape.Thanks to your videos I got the wisdom and survived. Thank you Paula for again a very helpful video! I am stiil healing. I left a year ago. I literal get sick when I am doing something nice for myself such as planning a vacation, buying something that I like. Doing things for others is easy but for myself it gives so much stress and pain. Could you do a video on that?
I will try to incorporate that message in coming vids!! We have to sometimes fight narcissistic behaviour with healthy narcissism you did the right thing..matching the weapons 🌹
Just got pulled into a confrontation with my narcissistic youngest brother, today. After the past two weeks of recent bad narc behavior, and having dealt with all kinds of frightening behaviors this year...I said enough. The "stories" they tell themselves, and us, are astounding. The negative spiritual energy, unnerving. Today I found my courage and stood up to him. I wasn't even phased when he announced (after the fact: illegal) that he was recording. I challenged him to play it. Nothing. I stated, STOP the abuse. Stop harassing me, stop threatening me, stop the stories. If you don't want to take the responsibilities, you are free to leave. I also asked that he seek counseling or therapy. He asked when we might "talk" again. I said not without an uninvolved 3rd party mediator. Not a neighbor, not another family member, not a "friend". [Context: we both live on my parent's property. I am my very difficult elder mother's full time caregiver. ]
Thank you so much for all that you do. Yes i'm that empath and have recently had the lightbulb after 25 years of a 'dead' marriage. I'm learning to look after myself and do what i want, and ignore. I'm learning to stay with my power calm, collected, educate myself (thank you again) and get professional help to extricate myself from this. You make me feel empowered and i feel your genuine care.
He gave me a fake discard. But I had that lightbulb moment, and blocked him on everything. Now I hold the unblock power, and I will hold it for as long as I am alive. He has no idea what my next moves are, and that is also power in and of itself. He crushed my heart, and I had to go through a process of healing. I didn't only heal. I also transformed. Now I feel so much in control, so much more powerful. And knowing that me blocking him brings him to his knees, makes me feel really, really satisfied.
I love the righteous indignation at the beginning. I grew up to be this kind of empath. I was the only one in the family that could get my grandmother to behave because I made her and the rest of her narc kids behave. The ex husband used my desire to have a family against me and whittled down my defenses. But his cruelty awakened my inner fight and he now runs away from me. I got tired of the run from the narc vids. Those narc fleas I developed growing up came in handy.
Spot on again with my female narc ,Paula, I accepted the discard and didn't beg or plead to make it work, I had done on numerous occasions before. I'm not sure if I'm an empath but I'd had enough of her messing me about, I'll admit I thought I would cave in , but I have gone no contact for almost a year(I did email her telling her that I knew what she was),which had no response early on, I think I have some narcassitic traits which have helped me get over this whole thing, I never thought I'd get this far forward Believe me I was so weak in the beginning Anyone reading this believe me things do get better, Watch these videos and educate yourselves I realise I'm due a hoover, but think I'm strong enough to ignore these nw, Great video again Paula.
Hallelujah AND THANK YOU SO MUCH 🙏❤️ Shoutout to everyone who struggles with aftermath- you will make it through. Pray, go to gym and give yourself everything you will give to your best friends. Then step by step you will rise 🧘🏼♀️💃🏼🥰 I LOVE YOUR PODCASTS - AMEN!!!!
Oh my. This really hit home for me. I Probably left my ex narc over 20 times but i made a vow to myself that this was going to be the last time. Initially, I just needed some space from feeling drained but then I began to educate myself. Watching videos like these and really gaining an understanding about this disorder. I realized I had work I needed to do within myself. I had no idea what boundaries really were until now....then of course i was fed up with the other women and the triangulations. Of the gaslighting, the name calling, throwing my past in my face as a weapon, the accusations, the threat of bodily harm, the berading, belittling....etc...etc...(the list is long)....i cant lie, there was even some of whats called reactive abuse. I hated when i got like that but didnt know what it was. I started to question my sanity and wonder if its been me as the sole problem, he loved when i would express that. I then decided to block him everywhere and it felt like something opened up inside me. It was like a spiritual awakening....then i had a nightmare with a demonic presence that scared me awake with heart palpitations. I tried to decipher what it could mean with no avail. I always had pride in myself for being such a loving, caring and generous person. But I realized with him, the more I showed him I loved him, the more he seemed to resent me.. I was willing to be a submissive woman to my man. But I couldnt continue giving that sacrifice with no reciprocity because now who or what am i submitting to? This is not a man....not the one for me, to say the least. I realize now i gave him more than I had for myself before he even earned a pinch of that from me. I just have to say, I really appreciate your videos. They have helped me a great deal.... I really feel if I wasnt educating myself, i may have broken no contact today. He found a way to message me and called his daughter "our" daughter, which he never did before, using my values in family as a Hoover tactic. So who I am today was able to not respond and block him there, too. So thank you for your videos. You are saving lives, including mine.
Your comment and personal journey touched me deeply and I believe there are great things ahead for you on this path you have taken..don’t get pulled back to the darkness you have something you are here to do 🌹🌹
I'm a strong person, and yes, with the values of a super-empath. However, in becoming even stronger, and particularly in becoming educated about narcissists via books and videos (Thank You!❤) I'm now recognizing the narcs really early-on in the relationship, and tap into my own narc capabilities. Naturally, in my new value of self-honour & protection. Sneakily, as in being unexpected by them. And, this is different: I don't care if they are wounded. If it makes them stop for a moment, in shock, well good! There's no chance for a come-back because they've already been blocked! Today I recognized something new in my self-honour: I was so delighted to find an old, old friend on fb; one I'd been very close to; we'd even shared a flat. Immediately I sent a friend request. I'd searched for her many times over the yrs. She had a "habit" of disappearing, which was confusing and it felt very hurtful. Well, now that I'm more "educated", I see it was more like her being a narc. When she'd eventually reconnect, her reason put it all onto her discomfort in being friends with me; a person who was "star quality"; so beyond herself that she felt ashamed to even have lunch with me (so she'd be a no-show, which was actually devastating to me.) 😢. Well, remembering all those situations, I also can be pretty sure she hasn't changed in the past 55 yrs! Grew older, but not up. I do NOT need to experience a reconnection with her, "for old times' sake". Nope! EVEN if she MAY have done work on herself! I don't care. Even an apology from her now wouldn't "cut-it", and could I even believe it? No. So I deleted my fb friend request! I feel proud of myself. 😊
19 years later and I'm picking up pieces I never left there. It hurts like hell but I'm real and real I must be. I am a rescuer by profession and this crewman aint gonna tread no more. Thank you. Power is nothing without control...Starve them of you time and close the door behind them. Its war and im leaving some wounds to remind her, She was never the one.
You just described the end of my relationship with the narc. Rejection/ ending the relationship (or what’s left of it…mostly rubble) causes fury and rage for the narcissist. Rat wheel. That was a great metaphor because the narc just rinses & repeats. Different victims same treatment.
I think I was lucky, I had researched nacrsism quite a bit prior to meeting this fellow, he actually said, I was hard to manipulate and that he tests me, I used to call out his behaviour and say things like well that was a whole bunch of word salad, or when he denied saying something I would say no, I know exactly what you said. In the end the good times didnt outweigh the bad, I felt uncomfortable going out with him because his behaviour could be inappropriate and at the end of the day, Im happy with my own company, so my self respect kicked in and he got kicked out of my life everyone in my family didnt like him and now when I think of him im kinda repulsed. But he was the first person I dated since my husband passed away, Im financially in a good place and despite his shitty behaviour I think he was playing the long game as best as he could. I think my lucky stars Im a strong person and I was wise enough not to feel obligated to him otherwise it would have made everything a lot harder. How his previous relationships lasted years is beyond me. Having said all that I dont regret the time I spent with him as it taught me to be stronger, its okay to say no and hurt someones feelings. Thats their problem to deal with.
I have CPTSD from lifelong narcissistic abuse. I am also highly empathic. I have survived 3 narcissistic love relationships in the past 25 years. The most recent was a 3 month long relationship that I ended 2 weeks ago. The narc tried discarding me via text but I quickly reminded them that I broke up with them 30 minutes prior. They tried hoovering with a poor me statement and a couple of days later I "forgave" them to help lessen any narc injury/collapse. I owe everything to my higher power creator Father in Heaven for showing me the truth about the narc. My Father set up a situation for the narc to literally be caught red handed in a lie! I am grateful that someone loves me more than anything to keep me safe from continued abuse. I am in counseling and am growing stronger every day. Thank you for your videos, they are a great resource!
I welcome any empath who is strong enough to go for a dance with the narcissist to invite them intimately back into your lives. Show them your empathy, understanding, and more. Show them how wonderful your life is now without them. They instinctively know you are too strong for them and either run away or are way too afraid whenever they have to interact with you. 😊😅
I actually questioned if I was a narcissist because how I was able to just shut down my feelings for this guy as soon as I realized that he wasn’t real. So yes I definitely have narcissistic traits but it will never be used to hurt anyone! I have never heard of narcissism so it was very confusing and unreal 14 months for me dealing with this guy however once I figured him out I was done. Not even a single drop of tear. I felt relieved because everything finally made sense! I feel better than ever… like advanced to next level better 😀 the way God revealed the truth to me was amazing experience and I learned soooo much about myself from this experience 👍🏽 I appreciate your kind words and expertise… God bless you and your family ❤ P.S I especially love your videos with your dog in background 😊
I'm not angry .. a little bit, yes, much less than I was .. I feel sorry for her .. for them. They have no right though hurting people for their own interests .. its abusive, extremely damaging to everyone
The "monster" has been invited back into the volunteer group I'm involved in, and within 24 hours the typical disruptive behaviour has been re-established. I'm trying to keep as low profile as possible in the hope that others will start to recognise the pattern. Health challenges taught patience to this patient 😉 so I'm quite good at waiting. My intention is to only act if a member I know personally indicates they intend to leave the group. 👍 Edit: Thank you for giving me your knowledge 💟
I’m Definitely that empath you described. As you were speaking, I was like yep, yep that’s me. My blessing was I never loved my narcisstic ex husband, - I loved the things he bought for me and the things we did together. But I always wondered why I could not connect to them on an emotional level so there wasn’t any love on a deeper level on either of our part. So when he did the discard, it was actually a relief. It hurt my ego but didn’t penetrate deeper than that. I went no contact, continued to live my very best life and he sent flying monkeys which I had no contact with them as well. The best advice/ live your best life and thank Jesus that the narcissist found another host and freed you.
I give thanks every day that I was strong enough to leave the narcissist first. Lots of therapy helped me continue to set strong boundaries thruout divorce where he bullied me terribly. No regrets.
I have to really hold back my dark side,. I'm an empath, but I know I can destroy people with my words, but I hold back, because I dont want to be like them. I fight it every day
Paula I love your videos, they have helped me a lot. But one thing that I find puzzling is that when most content creators speak about these predators with NPD, they almost always talk about how this person tries to get money from you. The guy I was with actually had a lot of money. He specifically used his money to try to manipulate me. He would put money in my purse, buy me expensive gifts, take me out every single weekend for expensive dinners, and offer to help me with anything I ever needed. I told him from the beginning that I make my own money, do not need his and many times tried to literally get him to go to the grocery store so we could cook a meal together instead of spending so much money going out. He would never stop. I told him so many times that he had better not think he is entitled to anything because he was throwing all if his money around on me. He never once asked me for money. He did however as our relationship continued, start asking me to run errands fir him but usually I refused unless it was to pick up food or something for both of us, that we had ordered. I watched this man draw attention to himself with his bank card, tips, etc, literally every single time I was with him. I watched men and women fall all over themselves in awe of his money. He loved all of this attention immensely. I didn't grow up poor and I told him his money didn't impress me from day 1. I've had men that were literally only friends spend more money on me than he ever could. Men that only did it out of the kindness of their heart. I was not dating them. All narcissists are not poor or needing money from women at all. In the end of course I saw how evil this man is. It took me two years. Because when he did or said anything appearing to be a red flag, I ni contacted him for weeks. I always ended up reconnecting, thinking he would change. In the end I found that he literally uses money to try to horribly manipulate women. I wish I could tell you all if the horrible things but this post is already so long. I'm so afraid for the women he will meet that will see his money and who knows the danger they will be in. He is extremely dangerous and to end this, I will say that this man has even committed rape in the past. And God knows what else. This is why I feel it's so scary to never mention these predators that use money to get their prey. And keep them
Thank you Paula for all your help for us who have gone through hell with these evil despicable demons. Years back before I knew my ex husband was a narcissist I could pick up in literally 5 minutes of meeting a person if they were controlling and manipulative. Amazing how all our energy antennas start going off in the presence of these people. It is very liberating to know that through our spiritual awareness that the Lord gave us - I can now know to stand clear of that person even when they smile sweetly at me trying to cover their mask! The Lords grace knows no bounds and we do come out much stronger after the rubbish we endure if we truly want to make the best of what’s left of our lives. No use staying in the miseries as it only brings us further down. So get up look forward and smile that it is behind you and you are not trapped anymore. Take good care and the Lord bless you and Master Remy 🙏🐕
The Super Empath… I discovered who she was… and repelled both back to back narcissists that I lived with… it was extremely challenging but it can be done… surround yourself with the resources and dig in 🙏🏻💜💫
Thank you for confirming what I have learned this far and continue to learn as I educate myself on Narcissism. Unfortunately we all have most likely found out the hard way that we encountered a very evil individual. By the time we find out it’s to late then it becomes a matter of survival. I personally have found this to be a spiritual fight so I have leaned on my faith in God. It’s going on 2 years now since going no contact and my battle is still ongoing. My wins and successes has only fueled the fire of this evil narcissist. Do not underestimate what they are capable of doing. They are like leaches waiting and looking for any opening in which they can do harm. I have to admit that even though I’m strong this at times takes a toll on me and I’m sure at times you also may go through hard periods. We must keep the faith that better days are ahead🙏🏽
Well, once again. You have spoken to my soul. I don’t know what kind of empath I am, but I know I am a Christian, an INFJ, and I’m also a Lyme Disease survivor, which incidentally was the worst thing that ever happened in my life. There is NO narcissist that I’ve ever encountered that CAN measure up to that, not even the narcissistic drs that abuse you even more while denying you any help, even while you plead for it. Once you stop pleading and lay quietly waiting to die, you change- and finally see your life as it always was. Every thing is dismantled until from the very dust of what was left of your life you, wondering if your dead, realize that you’re not. I have also experienced this your me describing. You see, When you just go silent the narcissist suffers more then at any time in their life. They try to get you back, use everything and everyone to try and gain your ‘empathy’ and/or your ‘sympathy’, to hover you back, but they’re still manipulating and lying, too. They just don’t know what they’ve done, etc. They really only ever loved you. And their little enablers will say, you just need to do the right thing. Umm 🤔 But what did they do? What did they say, not to you, to others about you? And what did they allow others to do? Where where they when you needed them the most? Thats reality now. That’s what they call Love. It isn’t. It is only abuse and control. In their desperation wondering what your thinking, planning, etc., because your silence is different than you’ve ever done before, you don’t realize it even happening, but you take back your human dignity. You are doing this, not by hurting anyone, but by helping you, advocating for you, by finally establishing healthy boundaries and by maturing, something that you’ve needed and badly. And yes, at that time, we do begin to stop trying to save help and/or fix others and then we finally turn what we do on ourselves, as then we can clearly recognize that we need that help ourselves. It’s a wake up of sorts of accepting and embracing yourself. For me, I just accidentally did this, the right thing, because I was ill and had to advocate for my health and even my sanity. I finally learned how to stop those who would not stop. But, what began in me then, has grown now into more and quite frankly I cannot say where this is heading. I have more then 1 narcissistic person in my life. I have my entire life. But it’s going to a good place for me, I assure you that. Ive shared this video and I’ve re- listened now 3-4 times. I appreciate your insight. Thank you. And I will pray for you.
In your video the Narsisst said the exact words to me: "I will always be your one true love I guarantee this". Thank you for the advice. A sick feeling of complete disgust fills my stomach when I think of this person. This Narsisst practices manifestation and trains others how to manifest.
God takes everything that was meant for bad and turns it into goodness. God prepares a banquet for me in the midst of mine enemies ❤
Yes I bought a T-shirt that says that! Bc All good here and they thought they would destroy me.
Amen and Amen folks ❤
Why not eat amongst friends instead?
Read your Bible @@villen2020
Well said.
Im surprised any of us are even alive and breatheing after what we have all endured.
Its like a horror movie.
Yes being around these demons is like living in the twilight zone.
I'm blessed to resemble that
Remark!
I'm 38 yrs in, married to one vicious deceitful being, and your spot on its a nightmare. I'm working towards the end of it, Its my life i want to live whats left of it. good luck to you all
Now I understand thank you
Yes it really is, especially when we find out who our family really are.
Being merciless is something we don't like but when dealing with a narcissist we have to be.
Yes
🎯
No.mercy with the narc😊
Yes! Thinking that I might inadvertently hurt someone else tortures me. Even when dealing w/ abuse.
However, once I understood what I was dealing w/. I became merciless. They were stunned. Never felt so good about myself!
I just look at it as being firm.
Good points.. the narc needs the empath.. the empath does not need the narc..
Been out of narc relationship for 18 yrs. I discarded her. Have never had a hoover. Imagine that, her cheating lies deceit. She punched me in the face right out of the blue. That was the last straw, my love for her died at that very instant. She beged me to stop divorce proceedings, what could she do for me to stop. I told her short of me dying, nothing. She tried to use sex, hell yes I had sex with her, got up next morning left and have never gone back.18yrs of total peace. Horrible person, I think she found out that I was a whole lot stronger than she thought I was. Therapist said I was a strong empath. Stay true to yourself folks, there is true happiness after dealing with these kind of demons.
Niceeee
True. Clear, effective. Hooray!
So strong , I hope you are enjoying every moment of your new life.
Exactly they need us. We don't need them.
After dealing with a narcissist we're a lot stronger than what we think we are, that's the biggest mistake that the narcissist makes, they underestimated the power of the empaths👍 Paula thanks for the video 🙏
Thanks Gary 🙋♀️🌹
Yes very true. I thank them for ❤making me a stronger
Exactly it shocks them at how well we are alone and that we don't need others for validation.
Yes my narc ex husband underestimated me massively. It was his undoing in the end. Survival techniques kicked in!
They think they're slick but there's always someone smarter and slicker!
After 2 years of disrespect I finally stood up to him and oh no he went to his doctor discussing my 'mental problem' which the doctor proceeded to itemise on paper with him bringing it back to show me.
I decided it best I meet his doctor to discuss these comments and show him the person I was.
He turned over the comments page and wrote my partner was a narcissist and had used the doctor and myself and to leave him.
I sent this back to him which resulted with him becoming extremely upset and spiteful once again. I finally understand and have peace.
This was so spot on for me. Especially the part where you said once the empath becomes educated on the subject of narcissism or the fact that the narcissist does not have their best interest at heart, we can't unsee that! I can't go back and it's a very powerful thing. Once I figured out my ex best friend was a narcissist, now I can't unsee that I am surrounded by narcissists! I am working on me now and distancing from toxic people.
I met up a handful of times with soneone i hadnt seen for years,the gaslighting started first meet up I gave being mates a chance cos we hadnt seen each other for years and they said they could give me some support. I deleted their number two days ago . So much control and lies. There ae so many demonic people around now. Im so done wth the weirdness of this world.
Morning Alex Merrill Dragon Queen. That's a mouthful 😊. Same here for me. Finally understanding how narcissism works and how detrimentally we are affected you realize you have to protect yourself or be destroyed. It's sad, but empowering. Stay well.
Yep, exactly the same. Can't unsee it, and realize that there are others in our inner circle. You go through it, and some years later you meet another one unknowingly, dating .. you tell them your history of it .. and they go and bloody do the same thing. Spotted and healed much quicker these days.
Ditto
My sister ( Golden Child) married my ex -boyfriend of many yrs. I was in agreement, it was 25 yrs ago. He was sick with CANCER, so who AM I?? He died,she lost & learned NO lessons, I did. I was in therapy, I began too see ,where I would have normally agreed 👍🏾. When I saw the " Hatred" my beloved older ( Big) sister had for me,OMG !! That's when I became ...." SuperNova "
I have NOT spoken to my sister, Mother( who was behind it all) or my TWIN brother in years . I'm healing.
I am that Empath that you described. I didn’t discard the Narcissist and he didn’t discard me. God got rid of him in a spiritual act. The Narcissist had an altercation with my daughter. She pushed him out the front door and the police arrived. She defended herself and a friend that the Narcissist was attacking. he went into a Narcissistic rage. I was out of town. GOD SAID NO MORE EVIL IN THIS HOUSE. I now see his evil agenda. A year and two months later he is nothing to me. No Contact- DAY ONE. Therapy, Prayer and listening to content creators has brought me back to life. My soul is too important to give away to subhumans ever again. They use us and think we don’t have strength. We are actually much stronger than them. God provides me with strength and discernment.
Amen
I love this! Thank you for sharing this story! It's incredibly spiritually validating. Bless you and your family.
Thank you for your kind words. Schroeder was my maiden name!
Hang in there. God has your back
God answers prayers
Subhuman is not right term DEMON is!
If you leave first, they turn into the stalker from Hell, unfortunately. Not because they want you back for the right reasons, but so they can then leave you &... "win". They really ARE pathetic.
Yes!
That IS pathetic for sure.
That is the method they use. They will pull you back, or try to, just in order to damage you. Devilish, damned and thoroughly evil.
So very true.
Very pathetic and childish act
This is what happened in my situation. My narc ex discarded me after I expressed being uncomfortable about a new friendship he was entertaining with another girl. He accused me of being controlling and jealous. When he hoovered me, I took him back, of course. I did ask him if anything had happened with his new "friend". He swore she was always just a friend and told me he wouldn't hang out with her anymore. Nine months in, I couldn't shake the idea that he hadn't told me the whole truth, and I knew he would get really angry if I brought it up. So, when he was out of the house, I looked at his computer and found out that he had been lying. He slept with the other girl multiple times, while he was also hoovering me. He eventually discarded her, but still messaging her as "friends". She didn't know he was back with me. I broke up with him that day and blocked him. No contact since then, it's been 3 years. I educated myself afterwards and felt so validated.
Let the narcissists in your life go! Live your best life without negative energy.
Hi, yes, as he was dumping me I interrupted him and said "I'll do you a favor and break up with you." I immediately blocked him. Have been no contact 6.6 months now. I didn't realize I was an empath til I watched these videos. I was so open w/my feelings, my thoughts, secrets. I believed in being honest and truth always. I didn't like it how he would discriminate against Hispanics, the homeless, etc because he was 'too good' for them. He always thought of me as weak and spineless cuz I'd cry. I know he's shocked that I've been no contact and have held my ground despite flying monkeys being very sneaky. For me, the first 5 months were brutal but a miracle happened at 6 months! It was over! It was like waking up from a nightmare. Stand your ground. Stay strong. Pray 🙏 Pray all the time because this creature brought evil into our home. My mom and I experienced spiritual Warfare. I'm now awake alert and aware. Be safe out there. God bless 🙌 🙏 ❤️
Once you figure out a narcissist, it forces you to analyze all of your relationships. And in my case, there are usually other narcissists you have been putting up with. Thank you Paula.
Yes so true. Unfortunately, they are my children. Took after their Dad and it makes me sick but drama free & no longer being used.
Ain't it the truth😮 say it louder for those in the back ❤
@@jennilynmae I totally understand. After having 2 narcissistic husbands, it gave me clarity that my father is one, my father in law, mother in law and most of the in laws that I no longer deal with. Sadly my 28 year old son , 23 year old daughter and 18 year old daughter. The 18 year old is just like her dad. She still lives at home. She just graduated. We were literally evicted a couple years ago, when I found out that she had been making in between 1600-2000 a month on her job. I was flabbergasted!! She can have a pocket full of money and won’t offer to buy you a soda if it’s hot, and get mad if you ask for one. It’s ok though. She can’t stay in my home much longer like she is. She will need to get her own place or go on to college as she has planned🤷♀️
@@LaNaye-ir2jy similar to my 20 year old daughter. I just figured it out a few months ago. I'm devastated by it. How do you cope?
Yup I had 3 other narcs for a total of 4! One being my best friend
This is exactly what's happening now. Once in a while I'll pass the ex on the road and he'll wave at me and I pretend I didn't even see him. Just keep focused on healing, draw closer to the Lord, and make the right choices. Eventually, God will vindicate you and you'll be a stronger, happier person.
Honesty is my choice. They are able to change my behavior but they couldn't change my core. We all have these traits for survival but they are extremists and unbalanced. They are paranoid monster toddlers
The Key is Push Over. Who gives the narc. Permission to "push"" over.? Discard Them.
My X husband constantly called me a Unsinkable Molly Brown.!!! One day the light went on. Just what does he mean by that. Later I found out he had a mistress that ended ( Iended the marriage,divorced him) He later suffered with bone cancer. No one including his mistress would take care of him.She ran away.
Yes, they Do tell on themselves.
I agree, they couldn't change our core. We are stable, that's why we were attractive to them, but their jealousy compelled them to try and destroy us. Nuts or what?..
Absolutely
They are paranoid because they know Gods going to make ‘em pay
If I was a narcissist I be petrified of death .. really very sad
@@darcybarwick3766 they dont have any regard for God,they are often suicidal plus they kno they are of the devil,they find it funny while they have enablers,then its not so funny when they start reaping what they sow
Boundaries and dealbreakers are so essential. More to the point, honour yourself and your values. Never again will I compromise my values and allow anyone to push my buttons or my boundaries. Leading an authentic, good and successful life is the best revenge. Trust me! (8 years out now!). Keep in mind that narcs will never evolve or flourish. They will be forever this: a spoiled, bratty, entitled 5 year old child in an adult body! 😂. Take care! I left the narcissist 8 years ago and turned their silent treatment into permanent no-contact. That was the ultimate injury to their sick ego. Value yourself, your time and your energy above all else. Paula you’re right! - they are parasites that mirror our good qualities, future fake to the hilt and are experts at the rushing of intimacy. Their actions NEVER match their words. Pay close attention. ❤
Exactly!
🙋♀️🙏
I had a narc friend who after awhile all I could see was a big fat baby in a diaper.
I played dumb a lot towards the end. He could not get reactions out of me. I just focused on myself and goals. I LOVE how he warned me years ago that he would haunt me... he had it so terribly wrong.
My narcissist ex husband brought me to my knees. When I continued to call out his abuse during our marriage he found new supply and discarded me, left me stranded in another country and refused to let me come back to our home. The depths of my despair and shock led me to get educated and it was as if a spotlight was guiding me once I understood he was a narcissist and that what had occurred to me was emotional abuse and that despite him telling me I was the one to blame, I saw the truth. It took me awhile in my journey to get educated, and for months after my discard I was still engaging and reacting to his continued abuse, bread crumbs and further devaluation. But when I finally went full no contact, my healing accelerated. It has been a very difficult road, but I am happy to now call myself a survivor not a victim. Hang in there, your goodness and your work will give you peace in your life.
Beautiful Cindy 🌹🥰
@@NarcCon 💌
Well done you escaped hell and are free to tell your truth which is extreemly important
They want an empathetic person to maintain things in their life. They think the empathic person is a fool. 😢
Oh my goodness! Your statement just HIT me hard. That's why he "chose" me - so I could bring stability to his life. They are so out of control and never see it. THEY NEED US! Thanks.
I have loved my recovery journey and love the person that I have become, I am 3 years now separated, 1.5 years divorced. My children and I are happier then ever. I've relocated away from him, had his parental rights terminated based on grounds of abandonment, bought a brand new house, going back to school to get my Batchlors, which is what I wanted to do before marrying the narc. I have not only got myself back but I have gained so much self love, confidence and renewed my love for God, and I have discernment to spot other narcs, I cut them lose right away and I live such a peaceful life. I started educating myself once I had thoughts of him being a narc, it was so validating and became almost obsessive on narc videos, I started gray rocking him and watched closely. I started setting boundaries and sticking to those boundaries and then he raged, I was scared so I got a hotel with the kids and got a restraining order, he took off cowardly to his parents house over 3,000 miles away, filed for divorce and have not seen him since. This was very hard at first because I was alone in Alaska with young children and time of covid, schools were closed and I had to work to pay all the bills, I didn't know how I survived BUT GOD provided everything we needed and brought us to the promise land. I love my life now, and happy that I broke the chains of abuse!
Wow..so wonderful to read 🌹🌹
Bless you!!!!
💗💃 You must protect your sanity when coming in contact with these people upon discovering who they are.
I am that type of empath and no contact starts now thank you, cheating should have been enough to stop me from being addicted to this awful relationship that was toxic for me
This is my actual life right now..... I AM This EMPATH❤ Educating yourself is EVERYTHING!
Also remember due to our kindhearted, empathic nature we were a super fantastic source of supply. And even if the narcissist says s/he made the break they still have more to lose. Why? Because there was such an imbalance in the relationship where the ratio was 90 to 10, the narcissist has more to lose. And the empath has everything to gain no matter who initiated the break. And when it becomes apparent we are gone for good. And we are unrecoverable, this hurts the narcissist to his/her core.
This is such a great point , you should pin this comment more.
This is one of the best comments I have seen on narcissists and empaths. Because it is so true when we look back at it and finally realize we are free from all the stress, one-sidedness, disrespect, negativity, and game playing that wore us down. And in my case rescuing from one crisis after another thinking I could get him to a stable place before I left. And we don't go back like you said. We may give too much for too long, but once we see the truth, we know better than to treat ourselves to more abuse. We may forgive them down the road, but we don't go back because we learn from our experiences.
Once you see it, it can't be unseen. You see that person in a whole new light. Self preservation kicks in, you walk away and you don't. look. back. Take care yourselves.
Paula, your sincere and honest information has literally saved me. I am in the process of being taken down financially by my husband, as he promised, because I had the gall to leave(ing) him. For those of you in the same situation remember "the noble man plans noble things and by noble things he stands...Isaiah 32:8...keep your eyes above on God and on acting with integrity and honesty and honor....traits your narcissist knows nothing about. No matter what happens to you, live your live with love and faith in God and Jesus Christ and you WILL be the victor. I promise.
Strength and blessings to you Marla now stand strong 🌹
Amen
Great advice. Thank you.
I admire your resilience and devotion to your spiritual integrity. It's truly what holds us together during these expriences with cluster B's. Thank you for sharing. I wish you the best. Blessings.
Me too, he keeps resigning from jobs and taking out his pension money so I get nothing out of settlement. He once told me that I will leave with the suitcases I came with.
Keep strong dear one🙏
Another impressive video! Compliment!
After many years in a relationship with a narcissist, I've finally managed to break free.
It's just great to be FREE in the truest sense of the word.
First of all, it's just great to be alone, no one bothers you, you can hear the murmur of the stream, enjoy the singing of the birds ... and this peace and quiet is GORGEOUS!
Being alone does not mean being lonely. Quite the contrary: you have won something great: you have yourself again!
🥰
Even in the throes of the devaluation and discard we must live our truth. The narcissist resents us when they realize they can break down all of our boundaries but they can’t break us from our truth.
This video exactly relates to me I am a total Empath,I educated myself by watching videos such as this along with Dr Les Carter,3 years on and are house has just been sold,I totally discarded him very difficult at times but I am nearing the end of this 40 year marriage Hallelujah hang in there Guys thank you for your great insight Paula❤
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Yes .. I'm that type of empath. It doesn't mean you don't feel that immense pain .. we're human. It DOES mean that they are nothing like us and they matter nothing to us by the end of all this .. and they don't actually get away with what they did to us .. but it's nothing to do with us. We DO talk, we don't gossip, we don't smear, we just tell the truth, we don't keep it hidden, we have no reason to protect them. Please .. give them nothing .. what we have is nothing to do with them, they get no credit for it, and they don't get to enjoy or benefit from it .. definitely not even your heart and light that you gave freely to them .. and definitely not an ounce of the pain you suffered from their self-serving ways.
@@jackgoodings ⚡️🦁🤟🏾✨
My strength came from self dignity after turning and twisting to please that insatiable monster I realized that I must leave with dignity .. best decision ever
You hit the nail on the head. I rose up, got out first. I cut down all contact, blocked all attempts of his heat checking, hoovering and triangulation. I acted like he no longer existed. He tried to use my kids and they shut him down too.
I used my strength, compassion for
myself and what I had learned to turn
the tables on him. Check mate! Thanks for all you taught me and the hard lessons I learned from him to become his nemesis.
🙋♀️🙏🌹
I walked yesterday, unannounced and impulsively. He was in another room I said, I’m out, I’ve kinda had enough.” Boom 🚪
I didn’t slam the door lol!
Not proud of it but I broke a window on my way out!!! Cut my hand all to hell
I looked at him and said you are not talking to me that way to his raging, got my purse and left.
I didnt know I had these special traits in me. I just got so tired of the disrespect and abuse til one day I got up and I said "get out". Long story short I took him to the airport and he stood there looking in disbelief as I road off into that beaytiful sunset to pursue my true purpose. I gave him what he asked for, NO MORE ME!
Thank you for being part of my life's journey. You are always hitting the nail on the head with your videos❤😊
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Me too. I drove him to the airport and the Dixie Chicks "Wide Open Spaces" was playing on the radio. He didnt know it was the last time he'd ever see me but I did.☺️ I remember being amused that he was singing along and didn't have a clue. Driving off and finally FREE. 🎉🎉 Nothing comes close to that freedom and joy, except for the peace I now have had these past 11 years.
I went no contact over a month ago. He didn't discard me the last time. I just went off the grid and haven't seen or heard of him since then. I'm at peace with myself ❤
Good video. The Empath does indeed have the qualities of truth, fairness and justice. This I believe, eventually led me to challenge the Narcs behaviour towards me. I was then given the 'final discard'. I chased initially for an explanation and closure, which I didn't receive. Potent fuel for the Narcissist. Discovered he used my traits and hobbies on a dating app. Totally fake persona.
My power now as an Empath, is no contact, indifference and no reaction at all. Thanks Paula. x
Well said!
I'm finding it's taken me a longggg time to get to the place where I don't care what they think of me. When I was unaware as a teen I think I was used as a flying monkey. Then I was tormented by them. As an adult I came to realize the level of manipulation had me thinking my father was a narcissist but really my brother was pulling the strings. Bru discarded Dad and me when we got Covid together. Tried to take over Dad's person and estate but I guess Uncle Sam is a bigger narcissist, cause he took over. After 2 years recovery, I feel like I've been going through the grieving process. Let's see, I've been through denial, grief, fury, and I'm reaching the point where bru just doesn't mean much to me. A part of me will always love my little brother, but it has to be at a distance because at this stage he only means me harm. I find it rather easy now to gray rock him. Sad. How much I'd hoped he'd come around and he didn't. It was years of torment, mocking, taunting, stealing, deception, jealousy, diversion, division, fighting, cruelty. All along we treated him with such love and hope that he'd come around. He didn't. I guess we'd just gotten used to this behavior as his normal. Being away from him now I can realize how very bad he's become, how abnormal and stunted. Those hollow eyes.
Really, my grandfather malignant narcissist used to say to me "No one will ever "love" you as much as your grandfather". He never loved me...Thank You!!:))!!
That's what my husband used to say to me they don't know the feeling of love
YES! I had the car packed, ready to leave and he rang me while I was driving away to say"out relationship is shit" I said yes it is. OK bye!
Then he wrote all over Facebook that HE LEFT ME! It was so important to him for everyone to think it was him, which is of course, backfiring on him in court. I have gone through months of homelessness and no money and starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
He thinks EVERYTHING is his. The entire house and everything from an 8 year relationship. Unreal monsters. Pathetic
YES! I tried to leave him once and he crucified me in court. Several years later, I'm in the process of leaving again but this time I've documented, hired lawyer and therapist who specialize in Narc abuse victims and, most importantly, I see him for the pathetic, sad individual he is. I'm out of this toxic, unhealthy relationship. However, I'm not naive and know what he is capable of - thank goodness God is bigger and stronger.
Spot on again. Yes you are absolutely right. Never thought I'd see the day to thank my Narc for the better person I became. He tried to come back, but my new improved model of myself inside and out would have non of it... He returned back to his his old familiar self. I truly feel sad for these people. Don't look for revenge just take the opportunity for such "relationships" to find the beauty within ❤
I'm an infj sigma empath, nobody can control me 😂 I see through narcs and toxic people like highly polished crystal glass 😊
me too! INFJ and saw through him too but he still had me and abused me for 12 years. Now im free 🎉
I did discard him first...he underestimated my strength .....it is possible to stand in your light and use this to move forward....never let any one dim your light again...yes it was hard and post relationship I never looked back.....I am rebuilding and emerging stronger than ever....dont care about any of the old associates...I cut all ties...thank you for explaining this...Reclaiming ourselves and focusing on our own gifts is the pathway....I agree as I thrive any pretend bs he tries to say will crumble most important to remember anyone who he could influence is no one worth my time. Once you know really know who a narc is but MORE importantly KNOW who YOU are...they are defeated and you will shine again!!!
Just a bit of feedback. Don't write anymore with ... or ! or ? This is how the narc I was living with used to formulate their messages.
Yes, I am that empath, who peeled back his mask, in front of him. It was so strange watching him, trying to cover lie over lie, and messing each lie up. The way I watched as he tried to cover his lies, and trying to convince me otherwise. The mind games and manipulation wasn't having the same effect anymore, but still I watch as he thought at first they were. I trusted my intuition all the way, and it certainly didn't steer me wrong. I just knew what was a lie and that wasn't and gave him a short interrupt reply of "your lying" . He would get angry and I stayed calm, let him have his tantrum for as long and just repeated " it's a lie, when I told you before that I just know, I mean it, I just know, so pointless wasting your energy trying to convince me otherwise" and everytime I knew he lied, I told him, but honestly wasn't bothered why and wasn't bothered about listening to why either, which came across loud and clear to him. I remember sitting with him in the kitchen and him telling me some lie again, and seeing behind that mask. I told him, " that mask you wear may fool many, but not me". There is so much more I could tell you, but it would take forever and I closed him down and told him before I did. That I prayed his karma would be gentle, that the only way out is through and I can't help you, only you can do that, I told him how at this moment he wouldn't understand what I am saying, and that " he will " . That he will need antidepressants, a counsellor and prayers so many prayers to get through what s about to come his way and there was nothing i could do. I told him not to forget these words as it may be your only guide when the dark really hits. In all honesty though I did pray for him, as I know what to come was far, far more worst than he could imagine and prayed that his karma would be kind. But I know. Like I told him " I just know"
As an empath, I don't consciously want to do this, but the justice in me will take over and so it should.
This is so funny! I'm the empath who broke free, quietly packing every day while he was at work and dropping off boxes at my friends house. I recently found messages he sent his children saying I'm FINALLY gone and HE ASKED ME TO LEAVE 😂😂
2, I really relate to your video, I am an empathetic who went non verbal to the narcissist about 1year ago. I stayed in a room for about 3 weeks prior to taking my bags and leaving the state! As a matter of fact it is you who I first listened too!, I have worked in psych field for about 30 years. So, to some degree I honed my own defense in the end. The day I left I left the house key and car keys in the house. Did not say anything at all. Since then no contact, I agree with Paula, I imagine my x ended up kicked in his own BS that he played on me to control me! I am still recovering from this experience, however, it also showed me how well I can stand up for myself. This happened after a lifetime of being used, controlled, and unable to set boundaries for myself!! Thank you Paula❤
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I suffered a devastating encounter with a narcissist bringing in religious abuse, allying with some fairly well known and powerful people in New York. This was in my mid-30s. Because of that experience, I met a married couple, both philosophers, scholars, religious and spiritual researchers. I cannot imagine my life without them. Nice work, a-holes. It brought me to Jesus, family, love - in exactly the way you never intended.
When I have had enough !! I go " superNova" I have this superpower I CAN'T control. They get KARMA FAST!! My mother is a Malignant Narc,she taught me all my Narc qualities 😇
I took resemble your remark & yes my Sadistically Catholic mother is now silent bc my Super NOVA is near
@@stephaniebrooks108 beautiful being!! ☀️
Time is up to all demons. No contact is the best lesson. They don't exist in my world. Stay blessed and t y for the info.
I am an empath, and I am taking care of my narcissistic mother. If I stop taking care of her she goes to a nursing home. I'm about ready to just let her go. She doesn't deserve my care. Financially it's hard for me to leave right now but thank God I have friends to help. One thing I have learned through all this is to love and honor myself. I am being the loving parent to myself that I didn't have
Just remember to a narcissist fuel is fuel. Positive attention is preferred but negative is perfectly fine as well. Any type of a reaction is confirmation to them they exist and have an impact on you. This is why you must find the strength to stop reacting. Take that energy and put it into refuelling yourself. To become the person you were always meant to become before we allowed the narcissist to become such a huge energy-sucking distraction. And make it be about your own happiness not anything at all to do with them. And yes ironically enough this is the worst thing you can do to them because they actually believe your job was to remain their life long slave. So they are deeply offended when you decide to reclaim your autonomy.
I took my power back. She can pick on someone else.
Yea !!! 🎉🎉reclaimed my autonomy !!!
Very true 👍
I see myself as honest, and was raised in a large family 10 people. We were raised to be honest don't lie steal and be fair. I became involved in a relationship with a narcissist, I fell in love, and was very happy. After about a year of dating,the relationship seem to change like 360 turn. I felt a darkness and sneaky or deceptive behavior. One night I couldn't reach the narc on phone and sensed the worst my intuition told me something wasn't right. We didn't live together yet although had plans too. We communicated every night. I realized through narcs behavior they were possibly cheating. I broke up after questioning them and not convinced they were telling the truth. They pleaded to meet with me too talk. We planned on talking the next day
I got a text next morning they felt it was best for us to let go. And then I was blocked.. That's when I started looking for answers and found narcissist. Never knew what one was. But , after learning about narcissistic behavior I began to see red flags. I was somewhat in shock...I felt like I had been with a con artist, in other words SWINDLED.
Yes..🌹you made a healthy call though
This dance between light and dark is never ending. I have no desire to tear anyone down. This defines me. Close the door and move on. Keep it simple.
Paula, this was an outstanding video, one that I will watch again. Thank you.
I really struggled with leaving the narcissist. For me, there was no choice when I understood what was in front of me. So, when I discarded the narcissist, and went no-contact, he was blindsided because he never calculated that I would leave him. He was busy activating flying monkeys and getting supply. The narcissist raged from the narcissistic injury that my discard inflicted on him. He delayed and corrupted the divorce, and it became increasingly dangerous for me as he became increasingly unhinged. Along with the narcissism there was addiction and I suspect mental illness as well.
My recovery and healing from the narcissistic abuse consisted of sitting with and going through the pain, educating myself on narcissism, and learning about myself. It takes the time that it takes. I am so proud of how I conducted myself during the epic smear campaign put on by the narcissist. It was excruciating. I stayed true to my moral code, focused on myself, and was not reactive or malicious. It is still hard for me to believe that the narcissist would ever feel regret or loss, after the vicious things he did and said.
This is beautiful 🌹
You know you've got them running scared when they become unhinged. It's very scary but necessary. My divorce was horrible , unnecessarily and undeservedly but that's how they play. However this is when he exposed himself to the courts. I remember thinking towards the end ( during which his behaviour escalated ) he was exhausted and throwing tennis balls at me , I was throwing hand grenades back at him. Evidential truth bombs that he could not deny. In the end he threw in the towel. THEY'RE NOT STRONG, WE ARE. When we rise, look out!!! Hope this helps, keep going, what's the alternative. Thank you Paula, excellent content...
God bless you same for me. What is this I'm gotta go I didn't get anything out of it so why stay with NOTHING 😭😞
@@ninath13 Hope that you are doing well.
You are absolutely amazing and incredibly powerful. Well done! I wish you all the very best in life ❤🌹
That's why we're here.
O just want to say Paula! I believe you saved my life. Your in my ears the whole day. When I feel lonely I listen to one of your videos. Please keep up the work. Your helping so many people. Your not doing it for fame or to get seen , but to really help. You are really a mentor and someone to look up to.
I’m glad Janine..we definitely are a community..in strength we stand x
I give thanks to God for the experience, because it has made me stronger than I ever Imagined. The ability to go silent even when they have tried to draw me in with blameful and devaluing text messages and then phone calls of which I haven’t responded to any. Has given me power of which I am very much aware that I possess is so freedom giving. But also through it all I feel spiritualy awakened in away that I’ve never experienced on this level before. He’ the Holy Spirit is so powerful 🙌
Amen 🙏
Thanks Miss Paula! Your messages continue to confirm that I am on the right track in my recovery. Concentrate on healing and on learning and becoming strong & not running out looking for a new relationship. Be kind to yourself and give it time. Time for ups and downs… at 8 months since going no contact, there are more up’s than downs now! ❤
I am so happy for you Judi. Here's to more ups that downs!!!!!
Judi thank you for your continued support and kindness..you sound so like your on the very right path..wishing you happiness
Vulnerability is powerful, as is authenticity. They’re insecure bout it🤷♀️
So true. I've dealt with all of this. From a young woman I was determined not to succumb to narcissist tendencies continually. I will take their power quickly even if it means living life without them. I'm standing strong by God's grace and mercy. Narcissist will eventually be revealed or some day their evil actions will back fire on them.
Basically, they smear the empath, as the empath won't let them steal their soul. I'm speechless!
I am the heyoka Empath wich is the most powerful and the only Empath born with the supernatural gift of prophecy and discernment...! AMEN 😇 Anointed and Apointed Chosen one 1⃣
A therapist called the way I left my narc ex narcissistic because I had planned it for months. I felt so bad. I was able to escape the narc because someone warned me about him, it was a lightball moment. It was the first time I heard about narcissism.i got so angry and felt so stupid and started preparing my escape.Thanks to your videos I got the wisdom and survived. Thank you Paula for again a very helpful video! I am stiil healing. I left a year ago. I literal get sick when I am doing something nice for myself such as planning a vacation, buying something that I like. Doing things for others is easy but for myself it gives so much stress and pain. Could you do a video on that?
I will try to incorporate that message in coming vids!! We have to sometimes fight narcissistic behaviour with healthy narcissism you did the right thing..matching the weapons 🌹
Paula perfect video. Wisdom of God!
Just got pulled into a confrontation with my narcissistic youngest brother, today. After the past two weeks of recent bad narc behavior, and having dealt with all kinds of frightening behaviors this year...I said enough. The "stories" they tell themselves, and us, are astounding. The negative spiritual energy, unnerving. Today I found my courage and stood up to him. I wasn't even phased when he announced (after the fact: illegal) that he was recording. I challenged him to play it. Nothing.
I stated, STOP the abuse. Stop harassing me, stop threatening me, stop the stories. If you don't want to take the responsibilities, you are free to leave. I also asked that he seek counseling or therapy. He asked when we might "talk" again. I said not without an uninvolved 3rd party mediator. Not a neighbor, not another family member, not a "friend". [Context: we both live on my parent's property. I am my very difficult elder mother's full time caregiver. ]
Thank you so much for all that you do. Yes i'm that empath and have recently had the lightbulb after 25 years of a 'dead' marriage. I'm learning to look after myself and do what i want, and ignore. I'm learning to stay with my power calm, collected, educate myself (thank you again) and get professional help to extricate myself from this. You make me feel empowered and i feel your genuine care.
INFJ, spiritually awakened super empaths rock 👍
Infj here too. I think we’re the ones unfortunately here to deal with this
ENFJ over here! 🎉
M too, INFJ
ENFJ 💯✔️too❤️
Sure do!!
Im so so shocked at how accurate this is . ❤
He gave me a fake discard. But I had that lightbulb moment, and blocked him on everything. Now I hold the unblock power, and I will hold it for as long as I am alive. He has no idea what my next moves are, and that is also power in and of itself. He crushed my heart, and I had to go through a process of healing. I didn't only heal. I also transformed. Now I feel so much in control, so much more powerful. And knowing that me blocking him brings him to his knees, makes me feel really, really satisfied.
People thought they could bury me........they didnt know i was a seed......🌾🌱🍃☘️🌲🌵🌴🪴🍀
I love the righteous indignation at the beginning. I grew up to be this kind of empath. I was the only one in the family that could get my grandmother to behave because I made her and the rest of her narc kids behave. The ex husband used my desire to have a family against me and whittled down my defenses. But his cruelty awakened my inner fight and he now runs away from me. I got tired of the run from the narc vids. Those narc fleas I developed growing up came in handy.
Tell us how you did that
Exactly. Good wisdom. Thanks!
My pleasure!
Spot on again with my female narc ,Paula,
I accepted the discard and didn't beg or plead to make it work,
I had done on numerous occasions before.
I'm not sure if I'm an empath but I'd had enough of her messing me about,
I'll admit I thought I would cave in , but I have gone no contact for almost a year(I did email her telling her that I knew what she was),which had no response early on,
I think I have some narcassitic traits which have helped me get over this whole thing,
I never thought I'd get this far forward
Believe me I was so weak in the beginning
Anyone reading this believe me things do get better,
Watch these videos and educate yourselves
I realise I'm due a hoover, but think I'm strong enough to ignore these nw,
Great video again Paula.
Beautiful thanks for sharing Kirk 🌹
Hallelujah AND THANK YOU SO MUCH 🙏❤️ Shoutout to everyone who struggles with aftermath- you will make it through. Pray, go to gym and give yourself everything you will give to your best friends. Then step by step you will rise 🧘🏼♀️💃🏼🥰 I LOVE YOUR PODCASTS - AMEN!!!!
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Oh my. This really hit home for me. I Probably left my ex narc over 20 times but i made a vow to myself that this was going to be the last time.
Initially, I just needed some space from feeling drained but then I began to educate myself. Watching videos like these and really gaining an understanding about this disorder. I realized I had work I needed to do within myself. I had no idea what boundaries really were until now....then of course i was fed up with the other women and the triangulations. Of the gaslighting, the name calling, throwing my past in my face as a weapon, the accusations, the threat of bodily harm, the berading, belittling....etc...etc...(the list is long)....i cant lie, there was even some of whats called reactive abuse. I hated when i got like that but didnt know what it was. I started to question my sanity and wonder if its been me as the sole problem, he loved when i would express that.
I then decided to block him everywhere and it felt like something opened up inside me. It was like a spiritual awakening....then i had a nightmare with a demonic presence that scared me awake with heart palpitations. I tried to decipher what it could mean with no avail.
I always had pride in myself for being such a loving, caring and generous person. But I realized with him, the more I showed him I loved him, the more he seemed to resent me..
I was willing to be a submissive woman to my man. But I couldnt continue giving that sacrifice with no reciprocity because now who or what am i submitting to? This is not a man....not the one for me, to say the least. I realize now i gave him more than I had for myself before he even earned a pinch of that from me.
I just have to say, I really appreciate your videos. They have helped me a great deal.... I really feel if I wasnt educating myself, i may have broken no contact today. He found a way to message me and called his daughter "our" daughter, which he never did before, using my values in family as a Hoover tactic.
So who I am today was able to not respond and block him there, too.
So thank you for your videos. You are saving lives, including mine.
Your comment and personal journey touched me deeply and I believe there are great things ahead for you on this path you have taken..don’t get pulled back to the darkness you have something you are here to do 🌹🌹
I'm a strong person, and yes, with the values of a super-empath. However, in becoming even stronger, and particularly in becoming educated about narcissists via books and videos (Thank You!❤) I'm now recognizing the narcs really early-on in the relationship, and tap into my own narc capabilities. Naturally, in my new value of self-honour & protection. Sneakily, as in being unexpected by them. And, this is different: I don't care if they are wounded. If it makes them stop for a moment, in shock, well good! There's no chance for a come-back because they've already been blocked!
Today I recognized something new in my self-honour: I was so delighted to find an old, old friend on fb; one I'd been very close to; we'd even shared a flat. Immediately I sent a friend request. I'd searched for her many times over the yrs. She had a "habit" of disappearing, which was confusing and it felt very hurtful. Well, now that I'm more "educated", I see it was more like her being a narc. When she'd eventually reconnect, her reason put it all onto her discomfort in being friends with me; a person who was "star quality"; so beyond herself that she felt ashamed to even have lunch with me (so she'd be a no-show, which was actually devastating to me.) 😢. Well, remembering all those situations, I also can be pretty sure she hasn't changed in the past 55 yrs! Grew older, but not up. I do NOT need to experience a reconnection with her, "for old times' sake". Nope! EVEN if she MAY have done work on herself! I don't care. Even an apology from her now wouldn't "cut-it", and could I even believe it? No. So I deleted my fb friend request! I feel proud of myself. 😊
Thanks Paula , you are right on , I am there right now , crushing the narc , I have become his worst nightmare , his karma .
🥰🙋♀️
19 years later and I'm picking up pieces I never left there. It hurts like hell but I'm real and real I must be. I am a rescuer by profession and this crewman aint gonna tread no more. Thank you. Power is nothing without control...Starve them of you time and close the door behind them. Its war and im leaving some wounds to remind her, She was never the one.
You just described the end of my relationship with the narc. Rejection/ ending the relationship (or what’s left of it…mostly rubble) causes fury and rage for the narcissist. Rat wheel. That was a great metaphor because the narc just rinses & repeats. Different victims same treatment.
Over and over again
I think I was lucky, I had researched nacrsism quite a bit prior to meeting this fellow, he actually said, I was hard to manipulate and that he tests me, I used to call out his behaviour and say things like well that was a whole bunch of word salad, or when he denied saying something I would say no, I know exactly what you said. In the end the good times didnt outweigh the bad, I felt uncomfortable going out with him because his behaviour could be inappropriate and at the end of the day, Im happy with my own company, so my self respect kicked in and he got kicked out of my life everyone in my family didnt like him and now when I think of him im kinda repulsed. But he was the first person I dated since my husband passed away, Im financially in a good place and despite his shitty behaviour I think he was playing the long game as best as he could. I think my lucky stars Im a strong person and I was wise enough not to feel obligated to him otherwise it would have made everything a lot harder. How his previous relationships lasted years is beyond me.
Having said all that I dont regret the time I spent with him as it taught me to be stronger, its okay to say no and hurt someones feelings. Thats their problem to deal with.
I have CPTSD from lifelong narcissistic abuse. I am also highly empathic. I have survived 3 narcissistic love relationships in the past 25 years. The most recent was a 3 month long relationship that I ended 2 weeks ago. The narc tried discarding me via text but I quickly reminded them that I broke up with them 30 minutes prior. They tried hoovering with a poor me statement and a couple of days later I "forgave" them to help lessen any narc injury/collapse. I owe everything to my higher power creator Father in Heaven for showing me the truth about the narc. My Father set up a situation for the narc to literally be caught red handed in a lie! I am grateful that someone loves me more than anything to keep me safe from continued abuse. I am in counseling and am growing stronger every day. Thank you for your videos, they are a great resource!
I welcome any empath who is strong enough to go for a dance with the narcissist to invite them intimately back into your lives.
Show them your empathy, understanding, and more. Show them how wonderful your life is now without them.
They instinctively know you are too strong for them and either run away or are way too afraid whenever they have to interact with you. 😊😅
I actually questioned if I was a narcissist because how I was able to just shut down my feelings for this guy as soon as I realized that he wasn’t real. So yes I definitely have narcissistic traits but it will never be used to hurt anyone! I have never heard of narcissism so it was very confusing and unreal 14 months for me dealing with this guy however once I figured him out I was done. Not even a single drop of tear. I felt relieved because everything finally made sense! I feel better than ever… like advanced to next level better 😀 the way God revealed the truth to me was amazing experience and I learned soooo much about myself from this experience 👍🏽 I appreciate your kind words and expertise… God bless you and your family ❤ P.S I especially love your videos with your dog in background 😊
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Yes you expose them to some degree, which is an injury to the narc, if you stayed in long enough to become a high level Spiritual Warrior
We need the warriors.
I'm not angry .. a little bit, yes, much less than I was .. I feel sorry for her .. for them. They have no right though hurting people for their own interests .. its abusive, extremely damaging to everyone
❤ 🎉 we made it.
The "monster" has been invited back into the volunteer group I'm involved in, and within 24 hours the typical disruptive behaviour has been re-established. I'm trying to keep as low profile as possible in the hope that others will start to recognise the pattern. Health challenges taught patience to this patient 😉 so I'm quite good at waiting. My intention is to only act if a member I know personally indicates they intend to leave the group. 👍
Edit: Thank you for giving me your knowledge 💟
💯✔️🙏👏definitely
We are winner this way or another 💥
I’m
Definitely that empath you described. As you were speaking, I was like yep, yep that’s me. My blessing was I never loved my narcisstic ex husband, - I loved the things he bought for me and the things we did together. But I always wondered why I could not connect to them on an emotional level so there wasn’t any love on a deeper level on either of our part. So when he did the discard, it was actually a relief. It hurt my ego but didn’t penetrate deeper than that. I went no contact, continued to live my very best life and he sent flying monkeys which I had no contact with them as well. The best advice/ live your best life and thank Jesus that the narcissist found another host and freed you.
I give thanks every day that I was strong enough to leave the narcissist first. Lots of therapy helped me continue to set strong boundaries thruout divorce where he bullied me terribly. No regrets.
I have to really hold back my dark side,. I'm an empath, but I know I can destroy people with my words, but I hold back, because I dont want to be like them. I fight it every day
Paula I love your videos, they have helped me a lot. But one thing that I find puzzling is that when most content creators speak about these predators with NPD, they almost always talk about how this person tries to get money from you. The guy I was with actually had a lot of money. He specifically used his money to try to manipulate me. He would put money in my purse, buy me expensive gifts, take me out every single weekend for expensive dinners, and offer to help me with anything I ever needed. I told him from the beginning that I make my own money, do not need his and many times tried to literally get him to go to the grocery store so we could cook a meal together instead of spending so much money going out. He would never stop. I told him so many times that he had better not think he is entitled to anything because he was throwing all if his money around on me. He never once asked me for money. He did however as our relationship continued, start asking me to run errands fir him but usually I refused unless it was to pick up food or something for both of us, that we had ordered. I watched this man draw attention to himself with his bank card, tips, etc, literally every single time I was with him. I watched men and women fall all over themselves in awe of his money. He loved all of this attention immensely. I didn't grow up poor and I told him his money didn't impress me from day 1. I've had men that were literally only friends spend more money on me than he ever could. Men that only did it out of the kindness of their heart. I was not dating them. All narcissists are not poor or needing money from women at all. In the end of course I saw how evil this man is. It took me two years. Because when he did or said anything appearing to be a red flag, I ni contacted him for weeks. I always ended up reconnecting, thinking he would change. In the end I found that he literally uses money to try to horribly manipulate women. I wish I could tell you all if the horrible things but this post is already so long. I'm so afraid for the women he will meet that will see his money and who knows the danger they will be in. He is extremely dangerous and to end this, I will say that this man has even committed rape in the past. And God knows what else. This is why I feel it's so scary to never mention these predators that use money to get their prey. And keep them
Absolutely Rose you make a great point that’s not often discussed..I will make a vid on this with your comment as the basis thank you for posting 🌹
Thank you Paula for all your help for us who have gone through hell with these evil despicable demons. Years back before I knew my ex husband was a narcissist I could pick up in literally 5 minutes of meeting a person if they were controlling and manipulative. Amazing how all our energy antennas start going off in the presence of these people. It is very liberating to know that through our spiritual awareness that the Lord gave us - I can now know to stand clear of that person even when they smile sweetly at me trying to cover their mask! The Lords grace knows no bounds and we do come out much stronger after the rubbish we endure if we truly want to make the best of what’s left of our lives. No use staying in the miseries as it only brings us further down. So get up look forward and smile that it is behind you and you are not trapped anymore. Take good care and the Lord bless you and Master Remy 🙏🐕
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The Super Empath… I discovered who she was… and repelled both back to back narcissists that I lived with… it was extremely challenging but it can be done… surround yourself with the resources and dig in 🙏🏻💜💫
Thank you for confirming what I have learned this far and continue to learn as I educate myself on Narcissism. Unfortunately we all have most likely found out the hard way that we encountered a very evil individual. By the time we find out it’s to late then it becomes a matter of survival. I personally have found this to be a spiritual fight so I have leaned on my faith in God. It’s going on 2 years now since going no contact and my battle is still ongoing. My wins and successes has only fueled the fire of this evil narcissist. Do not underestimate what they are capable of doing. They are like leaches waiting and looking for any opening in which they can do harm. I have to admit that even though I’m strong this at times takes a toll on me and I’m sure at times you also may go through hard periods. We must keep the faith that better days are ahead🙏🏽
Amen 🙏
Yesssssss better days are ahead ❤❤❤❤
It shocks you to your core when you realize you were with a demonic spirit(s)
GBY
that's me yes there is hope I'm so strong she 100% right I turned the pain and to greatness thank you so much for making this video God bless you
The power of NOT CARING is all you need.
You are a lovely person 🙏🏻
You are so kind
Well, once again. You have spoken to my soul. I don’t know what kind of empath I am, but I know I am a Christian, an INFJ, and I’m also a Lyme Disease survivor, which incidentally was the worst thing that ever happened in my life. There is NO narcissist that I’ve ever encountered that CAN measure up to that, not even the narcissistic drs that abuse you even more while denying you any help, even while you plead for it. Once you stop pleading and lay quietly waiting to die, you change- and finally see your life as it always was. Every thing is dismantled until from the very dust of what was left of your life you, wondering if your dead, realize that you’re not. I have also experienced this your me describing. You see, When you just go silent the narcissist suffers more then at any time in their life. They try to get you back, use everything and everyone to try and gain your ‘empathy’ and/or your ‘sympathy’, to hover you back, but they’re still manipulating and lying, too. They just don’t know what they’ve done, etc. They really only ever loved you. And their little enablers will say, you just need to do the right thing. Umm 🤔 But what did they do? What did they say, not to you, to others about you? And what did they allow others to do? Where where they when you needed them the most? Thats reality now. That’s what they call Love. It isn’t. It is only abuse and control. In their desperation wondering what your thinking, planning, etc., because your silence is different than you’ve ever done before, you don’t realize it even happening, but you take back your human dignity. You are doing this, not by hurting anyone, but by helping you, advocating for you, by finally establishing healthy boundaries and by maturing, something that you’ve needed and badly. And yes, at that time, we do begin to stop trying to save help and/or fix others and then we finally turn what we do on ourselves, as then we can clearly recognize that we need that help ourselves. It’s a wake up of sorts of accepting and embracing yourself. For me, I just accidentally did this, the right thing, because I was ill and had to advocate for my health and even my sanity. I finally learned how to stop those who would not stop. But, what began in me then, has grown now into more and quite frankly I cannot say where this is heading. I have more then 1 narcissistic person in my life. I have my entire life. But it’s going to a good place for me, I assure you that. Ive shared this video and I’ve re- listened now 3-4 times. I appreciate your insight. Thank you. And I will pray for you.
Thank you I appreciate your prayers 🌹🙏
I am sorry you went through all that. How did you finally get help with Lyme disease?
I surprised myself w how I dealt w it
In your video the Narsisst said the exact words to me: "I will always be your one true love I guarantee this". Thank you for the advice.
A sick feeling of complete disgust fills my stomach when I think of this person.
This Narsisst practices manifestation and trains others how to manifest.