I made the mistake of fighting back against a jerk at work, and it only hurt me. From now on im just going to ignore her and hopefully my job performance will keep me safe
It depends on the situation and the cause. If someone is purposely being annoying or has an agenda to make others look bad by disruptive behaviour then the only solution is to confront that person. If thats difficult then a formal complaint is required. Trying to ignore or avoid someone that is determined to make your work life miserable is really not an option. If all else fails leave it will always be your profit their loss.
I found like that person(man) at my foreign work, while we discuss business logic, he speak double talk and make me confuse, then he start blame the whole day to get a shame at workplace. I need to practice active listening to catch his double talk.
There is one woman in my life who likes to slam me emotionally into the dirt so she can feel superior and I'm ready to tell her calmly, "I've learned your not emotionally safe; from now on I will stick to more surface subjects in our conversations" in order to set boundaries with her when I run into her.
Why not tell the bully you are in a predicament about approaching h.r. as you feel you may be on the verge of transitioning, , be it male to female or vice versa, they are then in a lose/lose position, the company wouldn't dare not back you, in this current climate.any would be bully should have the common sense to not upset you.
My supervisor who’s a woman hve her favorite ppl, but I m not, so she is trying my work environment hell. I m not going to run away, I stay thr for annoy her more. I make good money nd too long I m working thr😂
However, what if it's not a good idea or you don't agree. Thanks for sharing, used with the right intent or tone is neutral, neither endorsing or denying the criticism.
Does that mean you're related to Van Helsing? All you need to do is bring yourself to a level of control that they lack. Breathing increases your attention and focus. Channel the energy to involve them with whatever is going on. Most arseholes are obsolete children that lack emotional. Always pause and offer them a choice. The confidence from you making the effort to show how stupid they are without punching down. The arsehole doesn't know they're one as they have no idea of boundaries. Toxicity take patience and calm to navigate and it can work in your favour if you take a responsive approach to entitled idiocy and closed minded complacency. Think of the Sting with Robert Redford or Kellys Heroes where the one care and attention beats reactionary behaviours! Trust yourself if you do the work! It'll make you a better person for making the effort. Thank you for taking the time to make this video. People. Value your values. Don't let some negative arsehole dump over your vibe. Life is too short for that. They have no boundaries. Establish yours. You can do it...
The managers need to fire them for being toxic & it should be a thing they are allowed to do. Bc the fact that it isn't is why they don't bc they have to pay unemployment out if they fire them for that. So we all have to deal with them.
Thanks for your video. Still, there are people who just hate you because you remind them of someone they hate. You can listen as much as you like, you shouldn’t change for that.
@@thehinwoodinstitute I think it is because you are too far away from the mic, so there is a hollow sound and echo from the room. For comparison: ruclips.net/video/Rh2Upjidgf0/видео.html
No. I'm teaching people how to deal with an asshole at work. But I can teach you some grammar if you like. In this statement the correct spelling would be 'you're' as in you are. (Am I the asshole here with my passive aggression?) :)
@@thehinwoodinstitute Ya My spelling sucks & my grammer sucks. You can't teach me, well I'm learning the head games the weak play. No you're to weak to be an asshole. But good spelling & grammer doesn't mean reading comprehention either. Now I don't care if I spelled anything wrong, I'm a man of many faults. Getting walked on, ain't one of them!
10:01 Hello! Question! What do you do when you thank them for their contribution, but they keep questioning you, because they want to provoke you into a response?
A great question. Are they asking a question or making a comment. The word 'provoke' suggests their may be some passive aggression. Are they being sarcastic? What are their true intentions. Start asking them questions. It puts you back in control. The person asking questions is the person in control. What is it they really want to know? What is it they are trying to say? Why are they so concerned? etc.
So every single time a certain channel pops up on my YT...and I see a channel like yours. How do you deal with someone outright accusing you of wrongdoing...when in reality you weren't, threatening to destroy your business in the process. I lost a lot of respect for that person. Especially when you realize that...they're just so willing to go off like an emotional drunk...sort of like one of my parents growing up. Just think it was a bit overdramatic, plus considering what I was working on...some were mailing them back, some were emailing them back. Those that canceled...it's not like if I start becoming frustrated and/or rude...that they would've sent anything back past what I had already been given by them or led to believe was actually happening. That's what I tried doing...allowing a few days to pass to give those saying one thing a few extra days while I got things together...but they only got rude. Let's say they hit me up on a Wed...well I can always send over what I have...no issue with that but if on Fri I end up having another 4 or 5 (going off of a personal deadline, why I bought a whiteboard many years ago, which was purchased well before dealing with them), especially where all they need least in my mind is a digital copy not a hard copy...hence e-faxing/scanning or outright taking a photo.
you didn’t use your prefrontal cortex when you decided to play music over your voice. youtubers, just something you HAVE to do despite how detrimental it is.
The music over the strategies is horribly distracting. I'd love to watch this video but the music is bending my brain. I'll come back when I can listen properly.
A little push back on a hypothesis that the brain cannot detect the difference between an asshole or an alligator?? Quite a bit certainty about how brain functions. I don’t think she or anyone knows how the micro complexities of brain function. Probably way more complex than her simple answers of cognition suggests.
Thanks for your response. Of course the brain is more complex than can be covered in a short video, however, it's about understanding the overarching way our brain works to be able to understand how to manage in the moment of those stressful situations. Many researchers and experts in the neuroscience space now refer to it as the "amygdala hijack". I'm not the only one who references it.
@@thehinwoodinstitute It's called feelings, nothing complex about it. When someone attacks you emotionally, it's natural, normal and healthy to get angry in order to defend yourself and set boundaries. It's not primitive.
@@krystle8534 yes it's natuarl, normal yet I'd challenge the idea that it's healthy. This is a reaction that is driven by the primal part of our brain. As a species we have evolved to have a well develop brain that can overide impulses to just react, rather, we can choose to respond. Also by adpating our behaviour, we influence the behavour of others, simply by making a choice in the moment rather than reacting. We can, infact, rewire our brains. Psychologists do this with Cognitive Brain Therapy. CBT.
@@krystle8534 yes, it's normal and natual to feel angry. This is a primal fight or flight response but is it healthy? To react is a normal animal instict. However, our developed part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex can override these impulses so that we can respond rather than just react. In fact, we can even influence the behaviour of others, by making a cognitive choice to modify our behaviour, rather than simply reacting. We can also rewire our brain to respond differently. Psychologists help people with PTSD, Anxiety and other challenges by using Cognitive Brain Therapy.
@@thehinwoodinstitute I think that feeling anger is healthy, but I don't think mindless expression of anger is healthy. In my view emotional suppression and bypassing is a huge collective health problem that leads to all kinds of psychological and physical health issues. Emotions can't be wrong or bad in themselves, they just have to be handled and expressed in the right way, and with mindfulness it's very possible to feel something fully without reacting on it.
Sorry, but if someone is being a asshole, then that's a genuine interpretation of how you feel. No where does it say call someone that their face. Why would you stop calling them an asshole if that's a term you use in your own mind to distinguish your feelings?
![Bob Sutton: How to Outwit Workplace Jerks [Entire Talk]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wFTkQmPw2Gk/mqdefault.jpg)
![Bob Sutton: How to Outwit Workplace Jerks [Entire Talk]](/img/tr.png)
![BabyChiefDoit - Too Slow (feat. STAR BANDZ) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/zayaxws7RPg/mqdefault.jpg)
![OsamaSon - ik what you did last summer [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/4DIQDnu3mr4/mqdefault.jpg)
Challenge A****** to facts always! keep talking to a minimum and make them talk a lot.
Set boundaries with anyone family, friends whomever, boundaries can prevent anger from either party.
Hard to do in Asian house family.
I wish all the best to anyone struggling to work with a passive agressive, its a HUGE challenge to be sure.
It is absolutely brutal!
Thank you! I'm really struggling with an over-stepper and credit stealer. She's a big bully and it's causing me massive stress.
I made the mistake of fighting back against a jerk at work, and it only hurt me. From now on im just going to ignore her and hopefully my job performance will keep me safe
If passive agressive is your leader (woman) the best you can do is leave :( . If her position within company is strong you have no chances.
It depends on the situation and the cause. If someone is purposely being annoying or has an agenda to make others look bad by disruptive behaviour then the only solution is to confront that person. If thats difficult then a formal complaint is required. Trying to ignore or avoid someone that is determined to make your work life miserable is really not an option. If all else fails leave it will always be your profit their loss.
its all a***** at work
Presentation would be better without background music.
Agreed, the background music is the A-Hole of this video 🙂
This is useful content, why distract people from concentrating on it with background music?
@@D-Rex-I could not finish it!
@@Grelotmystiqueetal I couldn't finish watching it either.
Seems the video has an unintended secondary lesson🙂
Brilliant solutions!
Thank you for these valuable tips.
Nice title! Finally, someone who tells it like it is.
I found like that person(man) at my foreign work, while we discuss business logic, he speak double talk and make me confuse, then he start blame the whole day to get a shame at workplace. I need to practice active listening to catch his double talk.
Work alone.
Passive -- agressive and underhanded comments is what was illustrated from the nicey nice passive agressive male.
There is one woman in my life who likes to slam me emotionally into the dirt so she can feel superior and I'm ready to tell her calmly, "I've learned your not emotionally safe; from now on I will stick to more surface subjects in our conversations" in order to set boundaries with her when I run into her.
I clicked on your video specifiically because you said asshole😂
Why not tell the bully you are in a predicament about approaching h.r. as you feel you may be on the verge of transitioning, , be it male to female or vice versa, they are then in a lose/lose position, the company wouldn't dare not back you, in this current climate.any would be bully should have the common sense to not upset you.
My supervisor who’s a woman hve her favorite ppl, but I m not, so she is trying my work environment hell. I m not going to run away, I stay thr for annoy her more. I make good money nd too long I m working thr😂
Would suggest to lower the volume of background music. Otherwise this is so good.
For criticism I’ll say, “that’s a good idea”. Makes them feel heard and doesn’t have a possible sarcastic bite of “thanks for sharing”
However, what if it's not a good idea or you don't agree. Thanks for sharing, used with the right intent or tone is neutral, neither endorsing or denying the criticism.
Does that mean you're related to Van Helsing? All you need to do is bring yourself to a level of control that they lack. Breathing increases your attention and focus. Channel the energy to involve them with whatever is going on. Most arseholes are obsolete children that lack emotional. Always pause and offer them a choice. The confidence from you making the effort to show how stupid they are without punching down. The arsehole doesn't know they're one as they have no idea of boundaries. Toxicity take patience and calm to navigate and it can work in your favour if you take a responsive approach to entitled idiocy and closed minded complacency. Think of the Sting with Robert Redford or Kellys Heroes where the one care and attention beats reactionary behaviours! Trust yourself if you do the work! It'll make you a better person for making the effort. Thank you for taking the time to make this video. People. Value your values. Don't let some negative arsehole dump over your vibe. Life is too short for that. They have no boundaries. Establish yours. You can do it...
Keep professional and don't lose your cool
If a supervisor pounds his fist on his desk would that be considered belligerent behavior. Its scary and frightening in fact.
You tell him that behavior is not OK and to stop!! And is hostile and violent threats!
Simply explain boundaries --do defend but kindly say if someone has over stepped your boundaries.
The managers need to fire them for being toxic & it should be a thing they are allowed to do. Bc the fact that it isn't is why they don't bc they have to pay unemployment out if they fire them for that. So we all have to deal with them.
This was very helpful and will be easy to try at work. Thank you
Glad it was helpful!
Really appreciated your presentation. Your detailed strategies really clarified a plan of action.
Thanks for your video. Still, there are people who just hate you because you remind them of someone they hate. You can listen as much as you like, you shouldn’t change for that.
Boundaries-- help me out here! 🎉
I think your mic is broken.
Why? Maybe your speakers are broken?
@@thehinwoodinstitute I think it is because you are too far away from the mic, so there is a hollow sound and echo from the room.
For comparison: ruclips.net/video/Rh2Upjidgf0/видео.html
Agree, sound is sub optimal. However, content is great!
So your teaching people how to be an asshole magnet!
No. I'm teaching people how to deal with an asshole at work. But I can teach you some grammar if you like. In this statement the correct spelling would be 'you're' as in you are. (Am I the asshole here with my passive aggression?) :)
@@thehinwoodinstitute Ya My spelling sucks & my grammer sucks. You can't teach me, well I'm learning the head games the weak play. No you're to weak to be an asshole. But good spelling & grammer doesn't mean reading comprehention either. Now I don't care if I spelled anything wrong, I'm a man of many faults. Getting walked on, ain't one of them!
This was perfectly outlined! Thanks. Very helpful. Wish I had this year ago! :)
Thank you for sharing
10:01 Hello! Question! What do you do when you thank them for their contribution, but they keep questioning you, because they want to provoke you into a response?
A great question. Are they asking a question or making a comment. The word 'provoke' suggests their may be some passive aggression. Are they being sarcastic? What are their true intentions. Start asking them questions. It puts you back in control. The person asking questions is the person in control. What is it they really want to know? What is it they are trying to say? Why are they so concerned? etc.
So every single time a certain channel pops up on my YT...and I see a channel like yours. How do you deal with someone outright accusing you of wrongdoing...when in reality you weren't, threatening to destroy your business in the process. I lost a lot of respect for that person. Especially when you realize that...they're just so willing to go off like an emotional drunk...sort of like one of my parents growing up. Just think it was a bit overdramatic, plus considering what I was working on...some were mailing them back, some were emailing them back. Those that canceled...it's not like if I start becoming frustrated and/or rude...that they would've sent anything back past what I had already been given by them or led to believe was actually happening. That's what I tried doing...allowing a few days to pass to give those saying one thing a few extra days while I got things together...but they only got rude. Let's say they hit me up on a Wed...well I can always send over what I have...no issue with that but if on Fri I end up having another 4 or 5 (going off of a personal deadline, why I bought a whiteboard many years ago, which was purchased well before dealing with them), especially where all they need least in my mind is a digital copy not a hard copy...hence e-faxing/scanning or outright taking a photo.
Not sure I'm really understanding what you're saying here.
Its a cryptic message, its hard to decipher, its a riddle wrapped in an enigma
Wonder information, thank you
What if the supervisor talks soooo much he evaporates alllll of the air from a room.
They do this so as not to let you ask them anything. I hear you!
you didn’t use your prefrontal cortex when you decided to play music over your voice. youtubers, just something you HAVE to do despite how detrimental it is.
Why is it detrimental?
The music over the strategies is horribly distracting. I'd love to watch this video but the music is bending my brain. I'll come back when I can listen properly.
@@thehinwoodinstitute Is that a joke? You’re not rapping. I turned your video off, if that’s not detrimental I don’t know what is.
@@christophergoode4471 thanks for sharing your feedback.
@@christophergoode4471 thanks for sharing.
JOHN 3:16
…
I would listen to your video but the background music is assy. LOL
A little push back on a hypothesis that the brain cannot detect the difference between an asshole or an alligator?? Quite a bit certainty about how brain functions. I don’t think she or anyone knows how the micro complexities of brain function. Probably way more complex than her simple answers of cognition suggests.
Thanks for your response. Of course the brain is more complex than can be covered in a short video, however, it's about understanding the overarching way our brain works to be able to understand how to manage in the moment of those stressful situations. Many researchers and experts in the neuroscience space now refer to it as the "amygdala hijack". I'm not the only one who references it.
@@thehinwoodinstitute It's called feelings, nothing complex about it. When someone attacks you emotionally, it's natural, normal and healthy to get angry in order to defend yourself and set boundaries. It's not primitive.
@@krystle8534 yes it's natuarl, normal yet I'd challenge the idea that it's healthy. This is a reaction that is driven by the primal part of our brain. As a species we have evolved to have a well develop brain that can overide impulses to just react, rather, we can choose to respond. Also by adpating our behaviour, we influence the behavour of others, simply by making a choice in the moment rather than reacting. We can, infact, rewire our brains. Psychologists do this with Cognitive Brain Therapy. CBT.
@@krystle8534 yes, it's normal and natual to feel angry. This is a primal fight or flight response but is it healthy? To react is a normal animal instict. However, our developed part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex can override these impulses so that we can respond rather than just react. In fact, we can even influence the behaviour of others, by making a cognitive choice to modify our behaviour, rather than simply reacting. We can also rewire our brain to respond differently. Psychologists help people with PTSD, Anxiety and other challenges by using Cognitive Brain Therapy.
@@thehinwoodinstitute I think that feeling anger is healthy, but I don't think mindless expression of anger is healthy. In my view emotional suppression and bypassing is a huge collective health problem that leads to all kinds of psychological and physical health issues. Emotions can't be wrong or bad in themselves, they just have to be handled and expressed in the right way, and with mindfulness it's very possible to feel something fully without reacting on it.
How to deal with an asshole at work: maybe stop calling them an asshole? May not solve all your issues, but it’s a start.
Sorry, but if someone is being a asshole, then that's a genuine interpretation of how you feel. No where does it say call someone that their face. Why would you stop calling them an asshole if that's a term you use in your own mind to distinguish your feelings?
I don’t have a job when I get a new job I will tell them talk to somebody else