Yeah but there's two kinds: 1) Is back-stabbing others.... 2) Is warning you of others. Good luck discerning the difference... One pointer I can offer is that the back-stabber will act friendly to the people they back-stab.
Yeah I saw one of my coworkers who is “friends” with another coworker on her day off she ran to the manger to tell her how poorly she does her job and how she had to do everything single handily😂
@@fargeeks I was speaking about a mom and pop type place such as where I worked. The father ran it and his kid did H.R. You had jokers there that worked there a long time and figured they were part of the "Family". They got woken up when asking for favors or a raise or what have you. That was what I meant.
True! I have a total of 3 friends lol. And they're all from middle school. The ones who stick around despite the struggles and situations of life are the real ones.
@@nicodoe9396 Do you though? Friends made in school are "friends of convenience", and often you split paths as life sets in and you find yourself as you age. I found real friends that I shared real values with later in life, and disconnected from "friends" from school. Either you're grasping onto them out of fear of being alone, can't make new real friends, or you're all developmentally stunted and all haven't changed which is even worse. Something to think about.
So true. My last job one toxic co-worker dobbed on me to the nurse in charge I wasn't been communicative. But I was .....I just only answer what questions she asked to do with taks or residents and also communicated or told the ither corker important information. She noticed I was very quiet.. not my bubbly self and talkative so she had to find a reason to dob me in. Ahh whatever left that toxic crap workplace...another corker a year later threatened to punch me in the face when she sees me next...she said that to a regusteted nurse. And thatvnurse told me what she said next day. All because I dobbed in that corker because she was mistreating me and residents day befire. So I resigned straight away! Had enoughbof that crap toxic place and found another job asap! 😊 And can't wait to get regusteted as a nurse and be higher level than that current corokers.. Haha😂.don't have to deal with those people! 😊😊
Haha yes I told everu coworkers tha I'm getting married only to be dumped by the guy I was going to marry lol now have to deal with the consequences, probably ,I'll be called a delusional, crazy n so on
That’s how it is in the company I work for now. It’s the first large company I’ve ever worked for and I didn’t realize that it would be the same dynamic. I stay to myself and don’t form to a click, and somehow people still talk about me. Even more because I want nothing to do with it. I just come in, work, and go home.
It's difficult. Trying to stay almost robotically neutral vs. wanting to let a bit of your humanity out with people you spend 8+ hours with - it's always a weird balance to strike.
That's why you don't do it. I recently had my first job in an office setting recently and found out the hard way too. I'm not going back to an office setting. My honesty, trust and friendliness is not a weakness. I refuse to let it be. Corporate fakeness and nicety should be shunned. Don't settle for a job environment like that. If you need the money, you should try to get out asap. One of my favorite quotes: "You don't always get what you want, but you do always get what you allow." If you allow and participate in these kind of fake environments, you promote it. Promote honesty and truth. Much like social media, the corporate environment is like facebook. It's a sickness and should not be used in place of a real friendship, or in this case, a real profession. And if you're doing it just because it's a job, I would advise to expect more out of your life. It should be a profession, not a job.
Staying aloof is lousy for networking as well, both internally & externally. You have to make personal connections with these folks at some level, as that's really how people advance their careers. Certainly that's how it works in the high-end & senior mgmt white collar circles. Being judicious with your personal business, and careful with how close you get to people is just good life advice. The error here was getting too-close, too-soon with some guy he barely knew, in a place where everyone has an agenda/history (small towns & large companies alike). It's a common mistake, and can hit us in any context.
1. Be friendly with your coworkers, not friends with them. 2. Never add or follow them on social media 3. At least 1 person you work with will stab you in the back without hesitation 4. Your employer doesn't care about you, and they probably don't care enough to sort out the facts from gossip.
I was at work standing at the office when two employees were going over who said what to who over Facebook. I told them I don't have social media because I don't want to be talking to anyone from work when I'm off of work. I got these surprised stares. Then I got transferred because of the gossip because corporate didn't want to investigate what was going on. It took more drama to be going on after I left for corporate to send a manager from where I was working to fix the problem. That manager came back and told me he would have fired over half the staff then asked me how I put up with all that and said I was one of the better workers he'd seen and tried getting me to transfer departments to work under him. I declined because I'm done. That cr*p was the last straw. The house is paid off and once the vehicles are paid off I'm cutting my hours. Said I'll be around for holidays, vacations, and emergencies. Which isn't many.
@@LishaJoya well said. This is also very exhausting. It would also explain why there is so much silence in the work meetings. Thank fcuk I work from home permo.
Like how he frames the non-pushovers as "negative co-workers". Typical HR douche. It's probably not a mystery why his underling went and tattled on him, probably felt good.
Co workers are little kids unhappy with themselves so they are broken and empty inside and full of negativity, jealousy, double standards, hate, opinions, sneakyness etc.....programmed robot slaves of the system working from 9-5 thinking that happyness starts with extern factors like status, money, material things that means nothing and its relativ and an illusion create by society.....if your happyness depend on extern factors you will never be because extern factors are endless. If you are truly happy inside you will love another what shows how many aren't so you get all those points i say.... The more people around you, the more expectations, talk about others, lying, frustrations, negativity, jealousy, double standards, violent, hate, violent, own benefits etc..... I am happy to live my life alone and have more strength, peace, power, happyness, freedom and time.....no co workers or other around me.....
I'm going through this myself right now. Told my Lead (Leader) a complaint about coworker... and he goes on and talks about it to the Guy. When I said in Trust... for Nothing to be said! ....My Lead is a really Nice cool Guy that seemed Trustworthy! ...So I thought... .... And then it backfires in a way. F -----. I'm so Pissed off right now! Wow.
They are mad because they couldn't take advantage of you. Most people are just evil. If most people can get any kind of power over you they will destroy your life.
Same here. I don’t tell my age either. One coworker asked me about it and I just smiled and jokingly said “old enough.” Besides the fact that your age is none of your coworkers’ business, their knowing it can also alter their perception of you and that can put you in a position of disadvantage in a workplace.
@@Mimi-iq4ll I have seen this one happen with men and then one of the admin people finds out they are married and then they wonder what this guy is up to, why didn't he tell people he was married? Hmmm?
The most important thing to learn... 1- HR lies all the time. 2- There is no such thing as an open door policy. 3- Nothing is "off the record. 4- they always screw you no matter what
@@CarlosAndresR Yes, my daughter is learning this the hard way. She just quit her job of over a year after bringing up harassment complaints and being bullied in return. And now HR is pretending to investigate her complaints.
@muriel5826 and nothing will happen... if anything they will take any comment or silly thing your daughter may have made, take it out of proportion and context and create false proofs to get ready for a lawsuit... I am so sorry for her.. Something else to remember... document absolutely everything.. every meeting every detail... send recap emails for those meetings.. record your meetings.. although that is not accepted in court or legal in many states.. it does help you out to remember little details. It is horrible.. you would think HR is fair... it is not. I am pretty sure she will find an even better job... karma does exist. Tell her to "just keep swiming" and not to relive that experience over and over.. I imagine she is a decent and hard worker person like most of us. She is going to be much better. ..
This is why I now just show up to work, do what I'm supposed to do and leave. Had too many toxic work enviornments in the past and made the mistake of being too open with coworkers. I'm polite and respectful, but I NEVER go into my personal life anymore.
I usually do sometimes I have the hardest time doing that. Especially when I have a weekly meeting with my manager and they always ask about whats going on in your life.
I worked with a guy who spent the first 3 months with the company trying to be friends with everyone. He learned about peoples lives and interests, everyone liked him. Then he went to the owner and told the owner every possible negative thing he could about everyone and tried to say how that if he were manager he could clean up the swamp so to speak. He was fired immediately.
@@DrOrr I see. Imo, you can have a friend made at work, but, do no share sensitive info about your personal life. Or. Have a work friend that does not work on same projects with you. Keep it under the radar. Even if you do not befriend anyone, but you shared an important detail (like your spouse works but theirs do not) you will be backstabbed like hell.
@@Info-God yeah I gotta remember the talk I make out of work should be different I make at work. I made a lot of mistakes looking back at the jobs I had in my earlier years in the workforce
Another sad reality of the workforce is those who are low-key, hard-working, honest, and put in 100% and mind their own business will always be overlooked and any shred of bad performance or flaw in their character is a huge black mark for them, yet you have people that are charismatic, outgoing, confident, natural leaders, and kiss ups with the boss that do minimal work and get away with it.
I'm 42 and all I want to do is retire. I've been working since 15. I'm tired of the politics, games and BS. All these videos strengthen my daily resolve to save, invest, and reach my goal to never work for anyone ever again.
You can start NOW. Become self employed. It may not happen overnight. But it gets you ready to manage on your own And it gives you cash I make more money and have fewer headaches. Employment doesn’t get better as you get older
99% of the population requires a regular therapist visit, but like you said, most people mentally peaked before high school even ended. Theyre not the problem, everybody else is, right? Self improvement is work, and 99% of humanity is PETRIFIED with fear of work but lack the scrote to admit it.
Absolutely same experience at my last job. People getting way too deep into cliques too. People thought I was anti-social because I didn’t fall into that. I came to work and stayed out of drama. I watched so many women I worked with get into all kinds of ridiculous arguments.
I have a coworker who worked with me during the Lockdown. We ran our grocery store’s food delivery service and went through hell together. We are have become old war buddies. When my husband died, she was the first one I called. When bad stuff goes down at work, she stands by me and I stand by her. You can trust some of your coworkers.
That's a sweet story. I have two good friends of mine who are husband and wife, old enough to be my parents, who run a donut shop I worked at for over a year. They are like family to me and we all have a lot of dirt on one another. We could definitely rat one another out if we wanted to, but I would never do such a thing :)
I have similar experiences. Thinkings you can't trust your coworkers is very destructive. I trust my coworkers and will share my honest opinion with all my coworkers. I haven't been "stabbed in the back" but if I was I would simply deny, say it is a complete lie and move on from there. Not trusting your coworkers is very destructive.
She is not your co-worker she is your friend. She just happens to work at the same place as you do. Understand the difference between friends and c-workers they are distinct as day and night.
I lost my job a few months ago and I thought I had built up a great relationship with some of my coworkers and was hoping some of them would reach out to me because it’s been pretty depressing and stressful. Not a single peep from any of them. Lesson learned. Also, don’t add any of them to your social media accounts.
If you're going to have any social media you have to keep the real ones confidential and hidden, and have ones specifically made to be found by HR people doing research.
When engaging with coworkers, there is one hard and fast rule I always try to stick to: DO NOT TALK SHIT WITH YOUR COWORKERS. People who are willing to talk shit WITH you, are also willing to talk shit ABOUT you. If a coworker comes up to me and starts saying something negative about another employee, all I do is nod and continue on with my work. I don't engage in negative talk.
Absolutely true, negative talk is the most important thing to avoid. We all have negative thoughts about what goes on at work, but in talking about it the wrong way in gossip, it's always like a personal attack against someone who thought it was a good idea, or is directly responsible for it. Train yourself to see the positive in everything, atleast just to get through conversations with colleagues.
Also realize that even if you don’t talk negatively about others, depending on the level of toxicity in the person’s personality, he/she MAY say that you said things you didn’t. Take some time observing people awhile before engaging at all.
My No.1 rule for work-related social events: show up, nurse 1 drink, make polite chit-chat, leave after 1 hour. If you pay attention, you will see that's exactly what leaders, execuitives etc. are doing.
That is if you 'must attend at all'. Some work cultures demand that you make a showing. If the work culture of that job doesn't expect it then it's wise to not even be there.
In your lunch break go for a walk, if your early sit in your car, if you dont need to work on clock out on time. Work every situation to benifit you. When you get home change your clothes. Separate work and home instantly. Work should be secondary to home life.
You know what's worse than having people talking BS at work? Having the leadership team know about those idiots and doing nothing about it but allowing it to happen!
Because they don't care! As long as whatever is produced continues and they aren't being bothered, they don't care. Someone wants to be a boss for the power and the pay. Not to advocate for anybody else.
👏👏👏👏 this comment! I am so sick of management KNOWINGLY allowing trouble makers to disrupt the workplace! That's the main reason I ONLY work for places that are unionized. It's called a hostile work environment, and you can file complaints and get managers fired for ignoring it if you're in a strong union.
well the fuck else do you make friends? A 40 hour work week demands your full attention and only Saturday is open to not have to devote everything either to work or resting up for work.
A supervisor taught me early in my 20’s to watch what I say and do around coworkers. He had been betrayed in a similar way like in this story. He basically said “I come here to work, not make friends”.
It shouldn’t be like this and there should be more protections for employees. And people who throw their coworkers under the bus deserve the same thing to happen to them times ten. I was betrayed in my job while in the middle of a short term disability claim in which I was working with a colostomy bag after my colon perforated and I was in the middle of a life altering medical condition. Let’s hope there is Karma for these evil individuals with no compassion or conscious!!!!
But when you do that, they consider you anti social and ostracize you and start rumors about you. I guess that's better than allowing them to have dirt on you.
@@pearleaton4933 But why do you care what they think? They're nobodies, just a bunch a yahoos you have to work with to....make money. That's ALL work is for (note I said "work", not "vocation")...earning a crust.
I was fired from 2 good jobs. Both times a female coworker pursued me and when she realized I wasn’t going to do what she wanted she told a bunch of lies to the boss and got me fired. And both times the boss just took her word for it and didn’t even ask for my side. It can be easy to get sucked in by these girls if you’re not getting the attention you desire at home. Watch out guys!
One thing I’ve noticed about the work environment is that if you listen to gossip but DON’T REPEAT IT, EVER, people will unconsciously trust you and tell you everything, which gives an obvious advantage 😂😂😂
Absolutely 100%. I worked in a highly toxic factory and got my finger burned 20 odd years ago although I was an innocent bystander in the matter. The company was so toxic I quit the Job. These days, pretty much for the last 20 years I've kept peoples situations at arms length and repeat nothing, it's incredible to see that nobody can get a purchase on you with their petty dramas in the workplace to drag you into it too. I do wonder what these work-place drama queens and back-stabbers are like in their home life.
True, but those who gossiped are also watching and plotting against you. Even if uou don't engage. In my experience, it's best to keep quite, play boring infront of co-workers, and only show your true, authentic self to those who matter i.e your immediate superiors. No one else matters. Sad but true. There's a lot of broken, bitter, full of hate and spite souls out there with one objective...to bring everyone else down to their level so they don't have to feel so bad about themselves. As Jim Carrey says, beware of those who can't love themselves, for that way chaos lies... or something like that.
A coworker got fired because one of her FB friends sent a screenshot of her post (she took a pic in her cubicle) to her manager. These women were overjoyed at getting her fired. She learned the hard way that they were NOT her friends. Lesson learned- I no longer accepted friend requests from coworkers.
Point exactly. It will come to the point in the future, when the true color reveal and show the other side of the coworker trust and backstab the coworker that's close to him/her.
NEVER tell coworkers ANYTHING you don't want your boss to know. It is WORK. Do not get drunk, do not tell them you do drugs even if it's legal in your state. Speak to them like a client.
@hlb0111 I say the less you speak to them at all (ESPECIALLY if it's not job-related), the better off you are (but, then, I've never really been a people person, anyway)!
When I stopped putting my whole identity and worth into my job I was much happier. I have friends outside of work, I'm close and have good relationships with my actual family, and I have hobbies and things to do that I love outside of work. It's a game changer ESP in leadership. Great video! ❤
There is occasionally the person I meet at work who is more important than the job. True friends. Most people are just acquaintances. I'm pretty careful about what I say to them.
@@DillyPutty I would argue that at that point the person no longer becomes a coworker and becomes a friend who you happen to work with. but you can really only do that if you explicitly understand that the relationship has changed. anyone else is still just a co-worker that you are friendly with.
And to avoid that I just avoid being friends with them outside of work simple as that. I've been screwed over a couple of times by people I thought having my back, thought nothing was wrong, then boom I'm in the HR office for some bullshit
I worked with a woman who I thought was very nice. She gave me rides home when my car was messed up, and I divulged some personal information to her. It turns out that she gossiped about me and told all of my business to the workplace (and likely twisted some things too). I ended up confronting her about it, and she went to the GM and tried to get ME in trouble, and SHE acted like the victim. It was awkward working with her, and thank goodness she and the other gossipers ended up leaving about a year later, so nobody else at work knows (high turnover). Keep in mind this woman was in her later 40s at the time, and I was in my late 20s. These types of people never grow up.
A coworker is a “sunshine” friend. When things are going good….no problem. But the day you both need the same day off…..there goes the relationship. Be kind, be helpful, but don’t tell them your business.
@@ericeandco "we're a family" is just made up crap they say to milk more work out of people and set them into doing extra work and extra hours for the pay. Whenever they say that, it's a set up, walk away when they flash that exploiter's red flag right from the start. My anwer to that is always "i already have a family back home, who actually care about me. Not going to trade the little time i can spend each day with my family for work."
Facts. And if you really cared for these people you’re the one who gets hurt. Especially when you realize they never really cared for you at all. Or if they did, they believe the narcissist’s lies and were manipulated into turning on you. At that point they just like the way you come in and work hard to make them look better.
I learnt the hard way too. In my early years as a manager, I confessed a weakness to a coworker I looked up to as a kind of big sister, only to find out later she had told my CEO, and asked him to sack me. Thank God he knew better. I later had a friendly coworker I shared same office space with who gossiped to me about the boss, and asked what I thought. I simply told him no comments
DO NOT associate with coworkers outside of work! I have been invited out after work and have politely declined, stating that I don't drink. It is best, if possible, to keep work and personal life completely separate.
@@shootingbricks8554 bruh.......exactly but as soon as you do that you're label as outkast and you will start getting bad reviews or performance. I am in this situation.
It depends on the work environment. Sometimes socializing with them keys you in on important information you may not get at meetings or work hours. But in these cases, it’s best to let others do the talking. But I agree that it’s best to limit socialization.
Through my 30 year career, I never associated with co-workers outside of work, but admittedly slipped up a few times. There were two people I thought I would keep in contact when I retired since we had a very good working relationship. I was surprised when both ceased contact with me. Yes, people you work with are not your friends, they only communicate with you at work to pass the time.
I knew a couple of retirees that when I seen them and asked did they keep up with their buddies and the answer was a flat NO. I mean these dudes were always talking, hanging out etc. I was about 28 at the time and learned fast co workers are not your friends
My understanding, and experience, is that coworkers generally represent nothing more than "situational friendships." That is, they may simulate friendship during temporal moments on the job, but outside, the dynamics are often radically different. The emotional ecology one works in is definitely worth carefully examining in order to safeguard one's collective well-being. Having effective personal boundaries is absolutely critical and indispensable! At work, one is better off regarding one's private life Personal & Confidential, as anything beyond small talk opens up uncertainty and risk. Regrettably, trusting HR and/or management is unsafe. What helped me tremendously was consulting an Industrial Psychologist, as they have a deep understanding of industry and its underlying dynamics. I was able to successfully complete my tour-of-duty and retire early.
I’ve experienced this a few times, I reached out to a few ex co-workers after I had switched jobs and they outright ignored my messages. Was pretty disheartening. There’s one I used to hang out with outside of work regularly and he now claims not to have time for me (was happy to use my PlayStation account though….I took this back and changed the password) yes, I learned the hard way co-workers are not your friends
Rule of thumb. Never have co-workers as friends. Don’t be brainwashed by the movies or tv shows. You can’t trust co-workers. Never date anyone from your job. When you go to work, keep it strictly about work. Never talk about your personal life with a co- worker. They will use it against you. Just show up on time, kick butt and go home. Keep you feelings or opinions to yourself.
Yea that’s exactly what I do. In all my years of working , I’ve never hung with people I work with. A simple rule for me is, the less I talk at work, unless it’s necessary, is the less back stabbers, will have to use against me. For some snakes, it doesn’t matter if you don’t say anything, they’ll make stuff up about you anyway.
Last year, I was working full time, budgeting groceries, unable to afford date nights, and missing time with my kids. Now I learned how to make money online. Now am a SAHM, homeschooling, and making profits every week.
Everyone needs more than their salary to be financial stable. The best thing to do with your money is to invest it rightly, because money left for saving always end up used with no returns.
Sometimes you don't need 9-5 to be financially stable, I make a lot of money without relying on the government. Investing in stocks and digital currencies is beneficial at the moment.
You have to work with the people, they’re not friends. Christmas parties are especially tricky. Even though you’re having fun, you’re still at work, and you have to face them Monday morning. My mom taught me something in my early 30s. Go to work, do your job, shut up, get your paycheque, and go home. Words to live by.
This is why remote work is the best. You do your job without being dragged into drama or unnecessary forced interactions. Strictly professional and polite. Clock in, do your job then clock out.
I agree.... I have been in the same situation as this video. Since switching to remote, I rarely talk to anyone unless it is about a project or work related. No personal or after hours meets.
It's not just at work. It's EVERYWHERE. You have to be very careful -- some people are flat-out delusional. You tell them something innocent; they twist it, then spread their distorted version to everyone who knows you. And if they are evil, they will make up things. They may even accuse YOU of doing things THEY did. Staying away from them sometimes isn't enough. They can lie about that, too.
I know it sucks to want to vent or relate some event but have to bottle it up. As according the rules of gossip and rumour mongering whomever you speak to is obligated to embelish, twist before passing on.
Someone once did that to me. She turned another team member against me for literally zero reason. That was my first and hopefully last contact with someone who is simply evil. Just nasty and destroys people for laughs.
I am so glad you brought this topic up. I can't tell you how many times I had to tell friends that their coworkers are NOT their friend. It helps to keep boundaries in work relations. You avoid needless drama, hurt, and frustration.
Do not treat work like highschool. Many people live boring lives and dont want to grow. They need excitement in their lives in the expense of others.(drama) Remember work is for a paycheck. Others treat it like a social gathering. Age doesn't Equal maturity only wisdom can do that.
My advice is to always keep to yourself and NEVER open up to or trust anyone in the workplace. Every workplace has at least one insecure person. Learned this the hard way too. Just ignore people, do your job to the best of your ability, then get the hell out at the end of each day.
You must have a very sad life if that is your advice. People spend most of their lives at work, you have to be a really antisocial individual not to make friends at work.
@@theostragonidis7548 Sorry, but no. You choose your friends in life, you don't have them inadvertently thrust upon you when you start a job. I don't quite understand your need to comment simply to berate me in such a way. Did it make you that much happier?
@@chris101gray3 I'm really astounded by the sheer amount of antisocial people like you, who have the most ridiculous outlook on life. When you were in school, you also had people "inadvertently thrust upon you", did you not make friends there too? There are decent people everywhere, if you don't want to make friends where you work that's fine but don't think it's normal - it's not. People make friends at school, at university, at their jobs and at their retirement homes. That's what's normal.
Yeah, well, that's how they brand you as "the weird one". The only thing I found to be effective is to put on your psychopath suit. Act friendly and caring, always guard your tongue, and manipulate anyone who tries to manipulate you. Also, gather as much dirt on your boss and company as you can. Notice every discrepancy, especially if you found out that they've underpaid you. Use an app to clock in your hours for yourself if you get paid by a hourly rate so later you can compare the two to find any discrepancies. you should still clock in in some situations. For example, in "someone's" case where a fixed monthly pay was deducted by hours missed but not balanced with extra time which instead of paying the 100%-200% for, they decided to add 50 extra monthly hours as part of the global pay. What they did was illegal in my country in so many ways, that I'm not even going to try to start to explain it. Now, that SWIM (someone who isn't me) could've told this to their boss and get the payment sorted out but then fired a few months later for some bullshit. instead they waited until they wanted to quit, made said boss fire them so they get the larger severance pay, and the monthly unemployment payments (they basically pay you 75% of your calculated monthly average, each month for 6 months or until your find a new job). However, the best part was that they filed a complaint with the company for underpaying them with that illegally unbalanced monthly global, and demanded pay for all the hours they weren't paid for. Now, in my country, a personal timesheet (even one that's written by hand in a notebook) is evidence enough. The employer has to prove the employee was lying by providing timesheets that show a real discrepancy (not a few mistakes or tiny differences measured by minutes), and if the employer has none and tries to falsify them, this can be easily tested and once caught, they'll be charged with fraud, so no one in their right mind will try that move to try fool the system. Obviously that person wasn't lying, so the employer can't do s**t about it, so now the next step is on the employer. Unless they want to pay the full 500% extra to the employee (basically, the fine for not paying your worker on time is paying them an additional 500% of what you owe them) they'll have to argue their case at the national labour court, to get them to lower the 500% additional payment, which they'll most likely get lowered to somewhere between 25% to 100% which is what happens in most cases. So, you see, this is exactly why some employees try to be fake friendly and gather info from co-workers and be friendly with the boss to make them slip and say stuff they shouldn't have at the company day trip and again at the company dinner (which was then used by said employee to make their boss agree to their demand to fire them, which btw, their boss was the CEO of the company no less, lmao), because if they don't do that, someone else will do that to them, since almost everybody at work always tries to gather info on everyone else to be used as ammo for personal benefit, or as in my case, used as insurance against those who want to screw you over.
❌Coworkers are not friends. They are acquaintances! ❌ I learned the hard way too and got traumatized even until now. Be polite yet distant, friendly yet guarded against all workplace people. Trust no one.
Yes, especially those who are not in your own department you must watch what you do and say. I've worked most of my working experience at a casino and there are many different departments that just don't seem to like each other. If your a man, it's best to not talk much to females at the workplace. I've seen so many male workers get written up and sometimes fired from complains from females in the workplace. Don't know if the complaints were valid or not but I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't.
I'll never forget the co-worker who had a look of hatred in his eyes when I revealed during lunch that I oppose the public financing of campaigns under "campaign finance reform." Back then, I thought people of different political persuasions could still be friends. I was wrong then (20-25 years ago), and it's no doubt worse now.
During my annual appraisal, my manager said that I could trust others more. I laughed. 1. Why would I trust the people who've stabbed me in the back? 2. Why would I trust the people who I've seen and heard gossip? 3. Why would I trust the managers who've lied to me, yelled at me, stolen my ideas, and took credit for my work? That's asking me to commit career suicide. Trust is earned.
33 years as an tradesmen, taught me 3 lessons. 1) Watch your back Jack 2) Mind your own business 3) Work issues stays at work, home issues stays at home. And my pro-tip of the week: Always keep notes in a little black book for reference, or take photos of your work or work jobs/cards etc...
As someone entering my first job ever now; this knowledge is golden. The video and comment section here actually made me realize I'm just dumb and starry-eyed about people. I really had no idea. So thanks a ton for the tips. I'm staying out of trouble.
You can be friends with co-workers. Just follow one simple rule, only say things to them that you would say directly to whoever it is you are talking about. This works well when talking about anyone in any situation.
Yup. One of my good friends was actually my work manager/boss originally so a healthy, long term relationship with co-workers isn't impossible you just have to be wise and deserning about it but that true of all relationships.
Exactly, and if you do find yourself bitching about someone to another person by mistake, go directly to that person and appologise, Ive done it before, ive said hey mate, Ive been having a shit day and someone baited me into bithcing about things and the topic got onto workers, I try hard not to be involved in that kinda shit but i was wound up and made a mistake, I said this about you and i want to appologise to you directly as i made a mistake, ask for forgiveness. Ask if theres anything you can do to help them out. Some of my greatest friendships in life started this way. Honesty, openness and admitting when youve ducked up is what gets rid of un necessary departments like HR.
i mean in his story time he said something that he probably also coudlve said to the person it was about easily. still the words got heavily twisted and the situation got out of hand which is the problem almost always
My husband and I were having arguments at home about how much I should be working when the kids were little. He decided to confide in his coworkers about our conversations. I tried to tell him not to do this because I had already learned the hard way. Later when raises came up they told him he didn’t deserve a raise because he could afford for his wife not to work.
Sounds like that was a few years ago but I hope your husband has moved to a better company. Corporate greed and the rat race for pay raises is truly evil.
@@ijustfelldown corporate greed definitely exist, imagine getting a .27 cent raise for top performer , and the worse performer .23 cents … and the big boys getting the bulk of the raises… it hurts specially when you sweat your butt off to get that extra money.
Best advice at work is come to do your work, be positive, mind your own business, listen more than speak, thank people for their help, get everything done, don’t criticize co-workers, go home. I’ve learned the hard way about over sharing. I will never tell anyone at work anything about my personal life ever again. I just finished my first week in a new position & my anxiety is thru the roof.
Yup I will be glad if I don’t become a human in my next reincarnation because all us humans are very twisted with their opinions and cause me so much anxiety. The only good thing our human vessels make is art in all its forms and video games and “fake” worlds.
Most people have to have a bad experience before they learn to do this. This is why it's so good for teens to get working ASAP to learn these lessons before they get into their career jobs.
I hate gossip, especially in the workplace. I've worked fast food and retail, so I've experienced LOTS OF IT, and I thought, " At least when I graduate, I won't have to deal with immature gossiping." I'm teaching next year. 😅
I worked at high school as well. It was constant gossip and a negative environment. A lot of it didn’t really interest me and didn’t fit in. So I basically quit, I came to the realization that those obviously have nothing better going on with their lives.
@notgonnaargue8986 it ain't finna get no better. I've done retail, fast food, banks, custodial, and now teaching. I eat in my classroom or teammates room. I never eat in the teachers' lounge. It's bad for your mental health.
I work in an office of all women mostly under 40. The boss tries to make us a family, hypes up the culture of the business and I hear the other workers all joking, laughing loudly together, hanging out in hallways and in the parking lot before leaving at night and I'm just like "nah"- I'll be friendly, smile, will engage in some small talk, but won't socialize at people's homes or hang out at work. I keep my cards way close to my chest and offer very little about myself. One bad exchange absolutely can become a thing.
I said something that soon got me (said for a + on purpose) Then that person caused a stink. I then let them know this was all about who can you trust and not about fact. You failed. You will not get any heads up about when the next Shiza and the fan are about to be turned on. The bosses that sat in and agreed with the other side of this also got canned, later on. The complainer got canned before I retired. I also knew someone in HR and did it with his blessing. WE both did the same job before working there. I warned them. It would catch up to them. Was not my 1st rodeo.
It’s actually a really sick and dysfunctional thing for bosses to call the work team “family”. They aren’t. They would replace you in a day without batting an eye. You’re so smart. Your gut already told you this.
Rule No.1 man everything stays at work. I've had people joke and laugh with me then I find out they went to the supervisor behind my back. its SOOO sick!
The company just bought 3 tables at an event where there was an open bar. Because I am on the Board of similar organizations, I went to the event. Did not drink- saw multiple co-workers sloshed. Just shook my head and smiled. Sociable and friendly, but not friends. 🤷
This is why I love being a security guard working the graveyard shift. The only things keeping me company are the wild animals that get too close to the areas I patrol. The owls can get chatty sometimes.
Bro I work overnights with NO coworkers and my work life balance is absolutely amazing ! I work a lot of OT and always get that $$$$ doesn’t even feel like work when you don’t have coworkers
Its so crazy how common it is for weird individuals to pretend to be friendly with you to get information out of you. This happened to me before when I worked at an average warehouse for a big company. Some girl was super friendly to me and asked me about the boss and I said he seems really nice but I feel like he’s gonna be strict on me for some reason but he seems like a good guy and she went and told the boss that I didn’t like him and he wasn’t a good boss and he came to specifically told me to stay away from her because he knew I wasn’t the type of guy to gossip and say negative things about people (I keep to myself) and he immediately transferred me to a different location in the warehouse away from her. Its weird how these rats like to mess with the people who don’t want anything to do with the drama lol
If you are the type of person to do so, I think you should have confronted her and made her squirm and seethe and extracted whatever explanation you could from her, and from then on, make some time every now and then to rekindle your fight with her and just continue to wear her down in the most malicious way you can. It works especially well with girls who aren’t exactly going to fight you lol, but you do have to cover your asss from harassment charges. So be careful of that. Moreover, you know where she works. You can find out more. In my view, it is equally important to repay debts and grudges. Just don’t let it take up too much mental space, and learn to enjoy what I told you to do so in moderation. People can become obsessed with revenge and its important to avoid that
Yeah, if someone asks you how you feel about the boss, you should know it's a setup. The best response, in my opinion, is that the boss is fine and switch up the conversation. There's no need to even go further than that.
Learned that in the military. The higher rank you got the fewer "friends" you had and the more polite enemies you got. As soon as you jump into the SNCOs ranks the smiles are mostly fake and the knives are very real. It was a heart-breaking lesson that made the last assignment of my career absolutely miserable. One I will make sure my children understand that lesson from go. People absolutely suck.
@@LeutnantJoker that was the only point of honor in the Air Force in the SNCO ranks. You always wiped off your knife before you stuck it in the next guy's back.
Learned this lesson the hard way. Made "friends" with a person at my job. Went to his house for family gatherings, super bowl parties, went golfing regularly with him. He went to our boss one day and unleashed a list of invalid complaints about me. Completely blind sided me. Instead of verifying the information our boss raked me over the coals. I was so upset I quit on the spot. Never again!!
@@fredmercury1314 yes, this is what they wanted....but when you have a boss that will not listen and allows the narcissist to continue, what does one do??
@@fredmercury1314I understand the point, but I disagree with the conclusion. Leaving is 100% the right thing to do. That situation will never improve. The alternative is to stay there and be miserable. You can’t ‘win’ against a narcissist. Removing yourself from the situation is the ultimate counter move. They can’t control you anymore.
1.) If you are genuinely a good hearted person, don't give your work colleagues your all, until you know who does or doesn't deserve it. This could take you awhile to figure it out so take your time. 2.) Don't gossip, don't let anyone know what you're thinking and always bring a positive consistent attitude. You don't want to be labeled as a gossiper, you don't want something you say used against you and no one likes to work with someone who is an emotional rollercoaster. 3.) Do not take anything personal. No one is out to get you, a bad coworker would treat you the same way as any other person. Their behavior is not about you. It's about their insecurities. 4.) When you are working, learn as much as you can. Don't squeak by doing only the minimum. You are only hurting yourself. Knowledge and experience is what demands the real dollars. If you're not learning at work, find a new job or learn something during your free time. Time passes whether you are learning or not so you might as well utilize your time effectively.
As to ur #4 rule, my number 1 piece of advice, especially to older people, is always have bluetooth headphones with you. So you can always be listening to something that u can learn from, or even something entertaining will make ur work day fly by.
I was fired from a 4 year position as a security supervisor for mentioning something to a co-worker that I shouldn't have. I thought they were my friend, but they wanted my position and passed the info on to my boss. I was shocked how fast a person I was on good terms with for years turned on me. Tough lesson to learn, but it helped me ultimately.
Had the same situation happen to me. It does suck to not have friends and be a robot…but after that experience…I don’t talk or connect much with my coworkers other than “good morning” and “have a good night”. I’m specially on red alert because I’m the only guy in a team led by women…and without knowing people’s backgrounds or whatever they do and specially living in a blue state, I don’t even say what I did on the weekend when they ask because it may be church…and that may unknowingly offend someone 😂. So just keep to yourself and be robotic but don’t be an ass.
In my military service, when it was compulsory in Spain, a month before leaving, one of the lieutenants in my company asked me who the hell I was. He didn't know my face, my name, nothing. When I told them I had been there for 18 months, he couldn't believe it. Basically, had never been arrested, drunk, in a fight, caught napping at the guard, talking too much, bragging, nothing. I had just been doing my job as well as possible, shutting up, and eating my food in a corner with a good view. Same approach in civil life. It works as long as you get the job done, which is exactly why you're there.
That's exactly how I am after the Navy. I was on a carrier that had 5600 guys, my division living space had 300 guys. When I went to college after my 6-year enlistment, I never had a roommate, hung out with exactly two fellow engineering majors outside of school, and I've never hung out with coworkers outside of work. Even at work, I minimize contact. I totally agree, flying under the radar is the way to go. Being stationed on an aircraft carrier for 4 years killed any desire to hang out with people.
@@Skank_and_Gutterboy The only problem with flying under the radar is that people don’t recognize your work, and many promotions and job referrals are determined by who you know.
I’m guessing you must have been a POG; that shit ain’t flying as a grunt seeing as you’re all working closely together. As a grunt they even know every time you decide to jerk one off and there ain’t nothing more personal than that.
The best comeback I got from my son for office gossip is, stop them in their tracks and say , gosh, that sounds really important, you should speak to them directly.
Yeah that comeback might work in the moment but as soon as your back is turned they will start gossiping about You they will say stuff like who does that self righteous people pleasing phony thinks he is, trust Me I’ve seen it happen, mostly to Me
I've made this mistake before. I got too comfortable with a coworker and thought we were buddies, and I told her a few things I didn't like about our boss, which I later found out she relayed to our boss. So yeah, basically I badmouthed my boss to a coworker who I mistakenly thought I could trust. Rookie mistake, lesson learned.
I have came across a coworker like that too. Ever since then, I don’t say anything about anyone. Another thing that gets me….this coworker will talk poorly about others and then be up in their face the next. That’s when I knew I couldn’t trust that coworker. She talks about the boss but come to find out they are super cool. Those are the ones you gotta look out for. But overall, trust no one….. including the manager.
The tough part is that sometimes it’s not “gossiping “ It is people who are very unhappy, and are looking for some kind of support or help in resolving a situation. Yeah… You can never vent to anyone in the office place. Save it for therapy or your partner.
@@madameversieramy dad was the kind of person to Talk bad about the boss...WITH THE BOSS 😂. But he was always the smartest out there, so no way to fire him out
Most of the people i worked with forget about you quickly. Not only that, i was shocked to hear how they really thought of other former coworkers. There are some very two faced people out there. Now the guys are as bad as the girls.
When I started working at my last job, I hung out with certain people during lunch because we were in training together. After a few months I split from the group and ate by myself because I couldn't deal with the gossip and negativity. Trust no one at the office. No one.
@@Am71919 I'm sure it is, but if you are "self employed" you're the CEO, COO and manager of everything. At some juncture, you may have to hire people to make more money. Employees aren't hired out of altruism. Every self employed person who want's to expand, ends up being exactly what they complained about.
I keep coworkers and neighbors at an arms length because you just never know who can’t be trusted among these “friend of convenience” type of relationships.
My neighbor invited me over but I don’t mingle with my neighbours. She got upset when I didn’t show up and told many people I stood her up. I told her I study now and don’t have time to mingle. She looked dumbfounded that the others told me she was complaining.
I HATE, HATE, HATE that I'm forced to spend the majority of my waking hours in a place I don't want to be, surrounded by people I don't like... (though I am currently unemployed and loving every minute of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)😁😁😁
I worked for 10 years on a public institution. From the very beginning I told them: "I'm everybody's partner, but I'm nobody's friend. I don't come here to make friends". That made me look bad at first, but they realize that it was my way and it was fine: we worked perfectly fine together, we laughed, we had a great time working. But I've never had a drink with them, never saw them outside the workplace, nothing. I also never gossip, or use any social media, it's also the way I am. And I hate that, so if people said things about me behind my back, I never found out. I've never had any serious problem with anybody, at least not that I know of. Great advice. 👍
Just another reason I like being self-employed. This whole corporate charade and culture is hilarious way too much effort to put in all this stuff. You can’t even be someone’s friend anymore. You’ll never get rich in building someone else’s business either unless you’re a high paid sales person selling high ticket items, are you have a very specialized skill and you can demand hi six figures are seven figures a year in salary.
I made the mistake of trusting an HR person when they asked me how things are going. I mentioned that my frustration was due to a lot of red tape in order to get something done. Next thing I know, I get called into a meeting with my boss stating that I'm not a good fit for the position. Taught me the lesson that no matter what, never complain about anything to an HR person. They are snakes.
Don't go to HR for anything but problems with your direct deposit, questions about benefits, and other banal matters. Outside of things like this, in almost all cases, they won't help you anyway. Brian, I really appreciate your content and straightforwardness. I would of liked to have someone like you working in one of the companies that I have been employed with.
The HR lady at my job is kinky and a walking red flag. I stay clear of her at all costs. She volunteers too much information about her personal life. Then one time she asked my coworker if she was dating anyone. My coworker said that she is married. HR lady just responded "so I guess that's a no for dating" 🤦
Coworkers will use you and betray you. Don't trust anyone at work. It's a competitive environment and people nearly always have ulterior motives at work particularly.
If you want to maintain a healthy work environment for yourself, NEVER hang with colleagues out of work environment and definitely keep your personal life, personal opinions and work life separate from each other. That’s what I have learn from working within multiple companies and organizations. It’s safer that way.
I had a former co-worker that's a pain in the behind. There was a time he wanted to borrow $50.00 from me and I refused. He then became a thorn at work. He also lived with his parents and felt entitled. I ignored him by taking a different shift. 😂
Great advice and never tell your life goals and dreams to them either because they’ll do anything to hold you back because they are afraid you’ll surpass them
Really good points. One thing I learned over time - when you are a new employee, it is sometimes the first person to want to friend you that is exactly the wrong person to friend up with.
I've not found that to be true at all. Maybe it depends on the industry. In my industry (tech), it's really common to be completely ignored for months.
This hit hard, doesn't matter how good you treat people, doesn't matter how much you help them, and it doesn't matter how well they react to you, because they will stab you in the back the moment they get an opportunity.
I’ve been a supervisor for 20 years. This is 100 percent accurate. I have very few people I’d hang out with outside of work. I’ve worked with some for over 20 years. It’s important to learn your surroundings and who the pot stirrers are.
Supervisors have to follow strict guidelines and rules for workplace protocols and safety. Anything outside that in regards to hang outs that could happen may and could be deemed inappropriate. I heard this once, straight from a supervisor themselves.
@@souleater4242564kodd That’s a real dumbass assumption. I pay 30 bucks an hour plus overtime to individuals who can do the job. Problem is, you have to learn how to do the job and that takes showing up and motivation few young lazy crybabies have.
As a 40 plus year HR professional my best advice is NEVER socialize with coworkers. Maintaining objectivity and trustworthiness are critical in your HR role.
@SilverDex66 if I’m ostracized and quietly let go from a job for not socializing with coworkers, then with hindsight I didn’t want that job. That termination would be a blessing in disguise
Same thing with Compliance Hotlines, sad to say. Some companies are very professional, use a third party and maintain confidentiality. I have heard of one where they had HR folks listen to the voice to see if they could figure out who it was. Think of human resources as the people in hospitals that call themselves "social workers" that are there to discharge people as soon as possible for insurance reasons. Sad but true.
Yes absolutely I agree with him, don't make friends at work or at least don't divulge any personal feelings because some of these folks can blow it out of proportion and will go running to tell other higher authorities so that they can boost their careers
I learned that no one is my friend, not coworkers, neighbors, family relatives, or even people you try to fit in with on social media as fellow content creators, I am on my own. And if i ever have trouble, i need to find a solution myself to solve my own problems. Its annoying to be keeping my guard up at all times but life made me have to do that.
@@hero2006 yea honestly! Can totally 100% agree, I don’t let anyone in anymore, once I made that decision more peace flows, privacy is key to this life ! :)
I learned a valuable lesson a while ago. People are nice - until they’re not. Keep that in mind folks. Words to live by. Also, sometimes people are your work buddies just to set you up. Always keep it separate. Best.
@@AFuller2020 It’s not that easy to “send the job” to India without the company physically establishing itself in India like opening an office. Most mid-size to small companies don’t have the ability to do that. Also, trying to hire foreigners if the company is American based opens up a whole new level of tax implications and dealings with unfamiliar foreign labor laws. They could hire foreigners as contractors but even that comes with problems.
I've worked in companies that had large India/foreign labor participation. The quality of the work just wasn't there. Not even close. I might be a little unique, but I have 20+ years experience and am one of the best at what I do. I've been working remote exclusively since 2020 and I've always had plenty of work. I get contacted by 20-30 recruiters per week about potential work.
@@steinravnik8692 most recruiters are fronting for venture groups. Trying to build a team on paper that can do some government or fortune 500 capital project. Like a SAP conversion or new XYZ factory engineering. You can get contacted 5 times by 5 groups hoping to bid the same job. If one gets it they MAY call you back. Earlier you were just free vaporware...now you're being shopped. The job will likely have a time limit, and filled with encounters of real staff that hates why you're there and wants you to fail.
Yeah I never tell coworkers my life story, they are not your friends, and you have to be very careful today, because they will take something and run with it.
Learn how to reclaim control over your career and begin sitting in the driver's seat: www.alifeafterlayoff.com
Reminder: someone who gossips _to_ you will gossip _about_ you.
Yeah but there's two kinds:
1) Is back-stabbing others....
2) Is warning you of others.
Good luck discerning the difference... One pointer I can offer is that the back-stabber will act friendly to the people they back-stab.
That pertains to anyone. Not just at work. I don't tell anyone anything I don't want spread around anymore.
Yeah I saw one of my coworkers who is “friends” with another coworker on her day off she ran to the manger to tell her how poorly she does her job and how she had to do everything single handily😂
Facts
Facts!!!!!
Rule 1) Company is not your family!
Rule 2) Coworkers are not your friends!
Rule 3) HR protects company not you!
Rule 4: If it's a family buissiness "You aint family"
@@hamilcarbarca8659 -Rule#5- If the company says "We're a family"... watch out.
@@hamilcarbarca8659 so what company classifies as family then??
@@fargeeks I was speaking about a mom and pop type place such as where I worked. The father ran it and his kid did H.R. You had jokers there that worked there a long time and figured they were part of the "Family". They got woken up when asking for favors or a raise or what have you. That was what I meant.
Rule 4) Never trust HR, bankers or realtors.
I think a lot of people in life are not your friends. You only get a small number of real friends in life.
True! I have a total of 3 friends lol. And they're all from middle school. The ones who stick around despite the struggles and situations of life are the real ones.
So true!!! Quality over quantity👏🏾
Yep
@@nicodoe9396 Do you though? Friends made in school are "friends of convenience", and often you split paths as life sets in and you find yourself as you age. I found real friends that I shared real values with later in life, and disconnected from "friends" from school. Either you're grasping onto them out of fear of being alone, can't make new real friends, or you're all developmentally stunted and all haven't changed which is even worse. Something to think about.
@@thepunisherxxx6804 the friends of convenience fall out of touch and the true ones stay. For me just 2
Anything you say, can and will be used against you.
Apparently that goes for being antisocial too lol. I could be a NPC with what I say to my coworkers. "how's it going?" Or "oh im not too bad"
So true. My last job one toxic co-worker dobbed on me to the nurse in charge I wasn't been communicative.
But I was .....I just only answer what questions she asked to do with taks or residents and also communicated or told the ither corker important information.
She noticed I was very quiet.. not my bubbly self and talkative so she had to find a reason to dob me in.
Ahh whatever left that toxic crap workplace...another corker a year later threatened to punch me in the face when she sees me next...she said that to a regusteted nurse.
And thatvnurse told me what she said next day.
All because I dobbed in that corker because she was mistreating me and residents day befire.
So I resigned straight away! Had enoughbof that crap toxic place and found another job asap!
😊
And can't wait to get regusteted as a nurse and be higher level than that current corokers..
Haha😂.don't have to deal with those people!
😊😊
Haha yes I told everu coworkers tha I'm getting married only to be dumped by the guy I was going to marry lol now have to deal with the consequences, probably ,I'll be called a delusional, crazy n so on
In a court of office.
Correct. Thats why remote is nice you are isolated
Never forget. Just because people graduated from highschool ... doesn't mean they graduated from highschool (mentally)
Yes!!
Facts. More like middle school in many cases.
@@joyjewel748 Lol.
That’s how it is in the company I work for now. It’s the first large company I’ve ever worked for and I didn’t realize that it would be the same dynamic. I stay to myself and don’t form to a click, and somehow people still talk about me. Even more because I want nothing to do with it. I just come in, work, and go home.
WOW, WELL SAID 100% FACTS!!!
It's difficult. Trying to stay almost robotically neutral vs. wanting to let a bit of your humanity out with people you spend 8+ hours with - it's always a weird balance to strike.
Yeah it's so hard! I feel like you need someone to be real with at work, but you need to be careful
That's why you don't do it. I recently had my first job in an office setting recently and found out the hard way too. I'm not going back to an office setting. My honesty, trust and friendliness is not a weakness. I refuse to let it be. Corporate fakeness and nicety should be shunned. Don't settle for a job environment like that. If you need the money, you should try to get out asap.
One of my favorite quotes: "You don't always get what you want, but you do always get what you allow." If you allow and participate in these kind of fake environments, you promote it. Promote honesty and truth.
Much like social media, the corporate environment is like facebook. It's a sickness and should not be used in place of a real friendship, or in this case, a real profession. And if you're doing it just because it's a job, I would advise to expect more out of your life. It should be a profession, not a job.
Staying aloof is lousy for networking as well, both internally & externally. You have to make personal connections with these folks at some level, as that's really how people advance their careers. Certainly that's how it works in the high-end & senior mgmt white collar circles.
Being judicious with your personal business, and careful with how close you get to people is just good life advice. The error here was getting too-close, too-soon with some guy he barely knew, in a place where everyone has an agenda/history (small towns & large companies alike). It's a common mistake, and can hit us in any context.
@Ismellfishallaround fish you need Allie’s regardless at a workplace. You need someone that’s willing to give you a seat at the table and SPONSOR you
Well if all your coworkers are robots then you can be robotically neutral lol 🤖
1. Be friendly with your coworkers, not friends with them.
2. Never add or follow them on social media
3. At least 1 person you work with will stab you in the back without hesitation
4. Your employer doesn't care about you, and they probably don't care enough to sort out the facts from gossip.
That's why I see work as funding for my life, nothing more.
This is just brutal thanks for guidance
I was at work standing at the office when two employees were going over who said what to who over Facebook. I told them I don't have social media because I don't want to be talking to anyone from work when I'm off of work.
I got these surprised stares.
Then I got transferred because of the gossip because corporate didn't want to investigate what was going on. It took more drama to be going on after I left for corporate to send a manager from where I was working to fix the problem. That manager came back and told me he would have fired over half the staff then asked me how I put up with all that and said I was one of the better workers he'd seen and tried getting me to transfer departments to work under him.
I declined because I'm done. That cr*p was the last straw. The house is paid off and once the vehicles are paid off I'm cutting my hours. Said I'll be around for holidays, vacations, and emergencies. Which isn't many.
It’s insane how they will get you to think they are close and trustworthy. People are legit weirdos man
I know exactly who #3 is at my job.
note to self...keep mouth closed...eyes open and ears open and mind focused
@@LishaJoya well said. This is also very exhausting. It would also explain why there is so much silence in the work meetings. Thank fcuk I work from home permo.
That's right. Keep it zipped.
@@LishaJoya eyes wide open, yes
That sounds only like slavery to me when talking to the top supervisor only is being allowed there.
just 🤐 and mind your own business
1. Be careful about oversharing
2. Gossiping
3. Negative coworkers
4. Loose lips sink ships
👍
Totally random. I agree with #4, and that is one difficult tongue twister! Say it 10 times fast!
Like how he frames the non-pushovers as "negative co-workers". Typical HR douche. It's probably not a mystery why his underling went and tattled on him, probably felt good.
Co workers are little kids unhappy with themselves so they are broken and empty inside and full of negativity, jealousy, double standards, hate, opinions, sneakyness etc.....programmed robot slaves of the system working from 9-5 thinking that happyness starts with extern factors like status, money, material things that means nothing and its relativ and an illusion create by society.....if your happyness depend on extern factors you will never be because extern factors are endless.
If you are truly happy inside you will love another what shows how many aren't so you get all those points i say....
The more people around you, the more expectations, talk about others, lying, frustrations, negativity, jealousy, double standards, violent, hate, violent, own benefits etc.....
I am happy to live my life alone and have more strength, peace, power, happyness, freedom and time.....no co workers or other around me.....
I'm going through this myself right now. Told my Lead (Leader) a complaint about coworker... and he goes on and talks about it to the Guy. When I said in Trust... for Nothing to be said! ....My Lead is a really Nice cool Guy that seemed Trustworthy! ...So I thought... .... And then it backfires in a way. F -----. I'm so Pissed off right now! Wow.
People at my job consider me standoffish and rude for not interacting...and thats fine with me
Same here because it’s a job not summer camp
Or arrogant
It not a dating pool 🏊
“Fckem all” -tupac 😂
They are mad because they couldn't take advantage of you. Most people are just evil. If most people can get any kind of power over you they will destroy your life.
I tell my coworkers the least information possible. They don't even know I'm married, where I'm from, where I live, nothing.
I keep it that way.
You are right and wise
Same. I keep my private life separate from my work life, but all this has done is put a target on my back and made ppl more nosy about me. 🥴
Same here. I don’t tell my age either. One coworker asked me about it and I just smiled and jokingly said “old enough.” Besides the fact that your age is none of your coworkers’ business, their knowing it can also alter their perception of you and that can put you in a position of disadvantage in a workplace.
@@Mimi-iq4ll I have seen this one happen with men and then one of the admin people finds out they are married and then they wonder what this guy is up to, why didn't he tell people he was married? Hmmm?
Ohh boy. I shared too much then.. I told my project manager that I took vacation to meet my girlfriend's parents overseas
The most important thing to learn...
1- HR lies all the time.
2- There is no such thing as an open door policy.
3- Nothing is "off the record.
4- they always screw you no matter what
And if you stay distant they will lie
and no such thing as anonymous feedback
@NingYaakappa yup. And still I make sure I pinpoint the exact people by name of how terrible they are 😁😆
@@CarlosAndresR Yes, my daughter is learning this the hard way. She just quit her job of over a year after bringing up harassment complaints and being bullied in return. And now HR is pretending to investigate her complaints.
@muriel5826 and nothing will happen... if anything they will take any comment or silly thing your daughter may have made, take it out of proportion and context and create false proofs to get ready for a lawsuit...
I am so sorry for her..
Something else to remember... document absolutely everything.. every meeting every detail... send recap emails for those meetings.. record your meetings.. although that is not accepted in court or legal in many states.. it does help you out to remember little details.
It is horrible.. you would think HR is fair... it is not.
I am pretty sure she will find an even better job... karma does exist.
Tell her to "just keep swiming" and not to relive that experience over and over.. I imagine she is a decent and hard worker person like most of us.
She is going to be much better. ..
This is why I now just show up to work, do what I'm supposed to do and leave. Had too many toxic work enviornments in the past and made the mistake of being too open with coworkers. I'm polite and respectful, but I NEVER go into my personal life anymore.
Same. People sucks.
@@mgyrnExactly. I never gossip or start rumours either. Leave me out of the drama.
Same here bud,ended turning against me.Glad I left
Smart!
I usually do sometimes I have the hardest time doing that. Especially when I have a weekly meeting with my manager and they always ask about whats going on in your life.
I worked with a guy who spent the first 3 months with the company trying to be friends with everyone. He learned about peoples lives and interests, everyone liked him. Then he went to the owner and told the owner every possible negative thing he could about everyone and tried to say how that if he were manager he could clean up the swamp so to speak.
He was fired immediately.
Well, that didn't go the way he was hoping😂
What the hell... hahaha he got fired lmao what a stinky lil Dwiight
Smart owner ….
At another job same situation that person wouldve gotten a raise.
@@elliottpaine9259 sounds like you ..
“Your Coworkers Are Not Your Friends…”
As someone who has no friends in general, I see this as an absolute win.
How
@@DrOrr Simple. They would have no ways to manipulate you.
@@Info-God no i get that I wouldn’t “befriend” coworkers I’m asking how it’s an “absolute win” to not have any friends at all
@@DrOrr I see. Imo, you can have a friend made at work, but, do no share sensitive info about your personal life.
Or. Have a work friend that does not work on same projects with you. Keep it under the radar.
Even if you do not befriend anyone, but you shared an important detail (like your spouse works but theirs do not) you will be backstabbed like hell.
@@Info-God yeah I gotta remember the talk I make out of work should be different I make at work. I made a lot of mistakes looking back at the jobs I had in my earlier years in the workforce
If you tell one person anything, they all know. Keep conversations light, positive and uplifting. Smile and be friendly.
It really is that simple isn’t it ? Good advice
@@ctt7971 A pastor said that once and it stuck.
😂Yeah
Another sad reality of the workforce is those who are low-key, hard-working, honest, and put in 100% and mind their own business will always be overlooked and any shred of bad performance or flaw in their character is a huge black mark for them, yet you have people that are charismatic, outgoing, confident, natural leaders, and kiss ups with the boss that do minimal work and get away with it.
💯
That's why we need good leaders like you to step up and lead.
Sounds like a reason to be more outgoing and confident 🤷♂️
This is very true. As much as I disagree with his principles, Machiavelli is right.
@@brawdz31 Could you elaborate on what you mean by "Machiavelli is right"? I want to learn the reference.
I'm 42 and all I want to do is retire. I've been working since 15. I'm tired of the politics, games and BS. All these videos strengthen my daily resolve to save, invest, and reach my goal to never work for anyone ever again.
💯!
💯 Same!!!!
Yeah good luck with that . They keep you poor & working until you die. So.. Goid luck with that.
How can we invest???
You can start NOW. Become self employed.
It may not happen overnight. But it gets you ready to manage on your own And it gives you cash
I make more money and have fewer headaches.
Employment doesn’t get better as you get older
It always amazes me how grown people act like it's middle school at the work place. Your 100% correct
Life Lesson: People don't grow up, they just get older.
99% of the population requires a regular therapist visit, but like you said, most people mentally peaked before high school even ended. Theyre not the problem, everybody else is, right? Self improvement is work, and 99% of humanity is PETRIFIED with fear of work but lack the scrote to admit it.
Absolutely same experience at my last job. People getting way too deep into cliques too. People thought I was anti-social because I didn’t fall into that. I came to work and stayed out of drama. I watched so many women I worked with get into all kinds of ridiculous arguments.
For real grown ass people
I work at a middle school...nothing but wretched gossip.
I have a coworker who worked with me during the Lockdown. We ran our grocery store’s food delivery service and went through hell together. We are have become old war buddies. When my husband died, she was the first one I called. When bad stuff goes down at work, she stands by me and I stand by her. You can trust some of your coworkers.
That's a sweet story. I have two good friends of mine who are husband and wife, old enough to be my parents, who run a donut shop I worked at for over a year. They are like family to me and we all have a lot of dirt on one another. We could definitely rat one another out if we wanted to, but I would never do such a thing :)
Rare occurrence, but that's a real friend. Keep her
I have similar experiences. Thinkings you can't trust your coworkers is very destructive. I trust my coworkers and will share my honest opinion with all my coworkers. I haven't been "stabbed in the back" but if I was I would simply deny, say it is a complete lie and move on from there. Not trusting your coworkers is very destructive.
she is 1 in billions
She is not your co-worker she is your friend. She just happens to work at the same place as you do. Understand the difference between friends and c-workers they are distinct as day and night.
I lost my job a few months ago and I thought I had built up a great relationship with some of my coworkers and was hoping some of them would reach out to me because it’s been pretty depressing and stressful. Not a single peep from any of them. Lesson learned. Also, don’t add any of them to your social media accounts.
So true!
If you're going to have any social media you have to keep the real ones confidential and hidden, and have ones specifically made to be found by HR people doing research.
@@phantomspaceman Very smart. I keep my FB set to private.
@@Cyko.. I blocked all my coworkers on Instagram and of course my account is private 👌🏽
yup
When engaging with coworkers, there is one hard and fast rule I always try to stick to: DO NOT TALK SHIT WITH YOUR COWORKERS. People who are willing to talk shit WITH you, are also willing to talk shit ABOUT you. If a coworker comes up to me and starts saying something negative about another employee, all I do is nod and continue on with my work. I don't engage in negative talk.
Absolutely true, negative talk is the most important thing to avoid. We all have negative thoughts about what goes on at work, but in talking about it the wrong way in gossip, it's always like a personal attack against someone who thought it was a good idea, or is directly responsible for it. Train yourself to see the positive in everything, atleast just to get through conversations with colleagues.
I totally agree with you 100%. Never Trust your Coworkers as well.
VERY wise words…I’m the same…never talk negatively about anyone at the job as it can definitely come back to bite you.
Also realize that even if you don’t talk negatively about others, depending on the level of toxicity in the person’s personality, he/she MAY say that you said things you didn’t. Take some time observing people awhile before engaging at all.
right on, its not your problem, half the time its someone fishing anyway
My No.1 rule for work-related social events: show up, nurse 1 drink, make polite chit-chat, leave after 1 hour.
If you pay attention, you will see that's exactly what leaders, execuitives etc. are doing.
Good advice. I don’t drink at all.
I never learn , I always stay until all the alcohol is gone, no talk just drink, it’s talking that gets everyone in trouble, no small talk either,
That is if you 'must attend at all'. Some work cultures demand that you make a showing. If the work culture of that job doesn't expect it then it's wise to not even be there.
Just tried this the other day and it worked well
Even better just don't go at all.
In your lunch break go for a walk, if your early sit in your car, if you dont need to work on clock out on time. Work every situation to benifit you. When you get home change your clothes. Separate work and home instantly. Work should be secondary to home life.
Interesting… I’ll try it.
You know what's worse than having people talking BS at work? Having the leadership team know about those idiots and doing nothing about it but allowing it to happen!
Cuz these idiots are the sources of information/intel for the management team
I'm glad my HR team is nothing like that
You'd think the lesson would be cleaning up a bad work place, and not "office gossip is bad". Bad management is bad, an unhappy work place is bad.
Because they don't care! As long as whatever is produced continues and they aren't being bothered, they don't care. Someone wants to be a boss for the power and the pay. Not to advocate for anybody else.
👏👏👏👏 this comment! I am so sick of management KNOWINGLY allowing trouble makers to disrupt the workplace! That's the main reason I ONLY work for places that are unionized. It's called a hostile work environment, and you can file complaints and get managers fired for ignoring it if you're in a strong union.
One thing I've learned in every job I ever worked, you're there to work, not make friends.
well the fuck else do you make friends? A 40 hour work week demands your full attention and only Saturday is open to not have to devote everything either to work or resting up for work.
I know, is hard to find friends elsewhere@@generalhorse493
@@generalhorse493I agree. The best friends I have are people I met at work. I don't work with them now but I met them through work initially.
Proud to be your 100th like
If you don't make a few "friends" you're not a part of The Culture which is worse.
A supervisor taught me early in my 20’s to watch what I say and do around coworkers. He had been betrayed in a similar way like in this story. He basically said “I come here to work, not make friends”.
Bingo. Good advice. Doesn't mean you can't be cordial and professional. That's all that's required of you.
It shouldn’t be like this and there should be more protections for employees. And people who throw their coworkers under the bus deserve the same thing to happen to them times ten. I was betrayed in my job while in the middle of a short term disability claim in which I was working with a colostomy bag after my colon perforated and I was in the middle of a life altering medical condition. Let’s hope there is Karma for these evil individuals with no compassion or conscious!!!!
But when you do that, they consider you anti social and ostracize you and start rumors about you. I guess that's better than allowing them to have dirt on you.
@@pearleaton4933 so true.
@@pearleaton4933 But why do you care what they think? They're nobodies, just a bunch a yahoos you have to work with to....make money. That's ALL work is for (note I said "work", not "vocation")...earning a crust.
I was fired from 2 good jobs. Both times a female coworker pursued me and when she realized I wasn’t going to do what she wanted she told a bunch of lies to the boss and got me fired. And both times the boss just took her word for it and didn’t even ask for my side. It can be easy to get sucked in by these girls if you’re not getting the attention you desire at home. Watch out guys!
In all my years in the work place women are by far the worse!
One thing I’ve noticed about the work environment is that if you listen to gossip but
DON’T REPEAT IT, EVER, people will unconsciously trust you and tell you everything, which gives an obvious advantage
😂😂😂
Absolutely 100%. I worked in a highly toxic factory and got my finger burned 20 odd years ago although I was an innocent bystander in the matter. The company was so toxic I quit the Job. These days, pretty much for the last 20 years I've kept peoples situations at arms length and repeat nothing, it's incredible to see that nobody can get a purchase on you with their petty dramas in the workplace to drag you into it too. I do wonder what these work-place drama queens and back-stabbers are like in their home life.
Yes. Let other people do the blathering. Just sit back, hold your tongue and walk away.
True, but those who gossiped are also watching and plotting against you. Even if uou don't engage. In my experience, it's best to keep quite, play boring infront of co-workers, and only show your true, authentic self to those who matter i.e your immediate superiors. No one else matters. Sad but true. There's a lot of broken, bitter, full of hate and spite souls out there with one objective...to bring everyone else down to their level so they don't have to feel so bad about themselves. As Jim Carrey says, beware of those who can't love themselves, for that way chaos lies... or something like that.
A coworker got fired because one of her FB friends sent a screenshot of her post (she took a pic in her cubicle) to her manager. These women were overjoyed at getting her fired. She learned the hard way that they were NOT her friends.
Lesson learned- I no longer accepted friend requests from coworkers.
Hehhee so true
Heres a lesson for young people. Never tell any co worker anything you dont want your manager to know. It doesnt matter how much you trust them.
Point exactly. It will come to the point in the future, when the true color reveal and show the other side of the coworker trust and backstab the coworker that's close to him/her.
@@Renzo_AnimeI know what you mean.
I've experienced this from a pimpass Judas
NEVER tell coworkers ANYTHING you don't want your boss to know. It is WORK. Do not get drunk, do not tell them you do drugs even if it's legal in your state. Speak to them like a client.
anything you say can and WILL be used against you! if they dont need to know...they dont need to know
@hlb0111 I say the less you speak to them at all (ESPECIALLY if it's not job-related), the better off you are (but, then, I've never really been a people person, anyway)!
@@octoman_games My late father used to always tell me that the less people know your business, the better off you are.
@@thomasshort1784 the old guys had a lot to teach. So little time
Yep.
Seen a coupke of people disappear after getting too drunk and mouthy at the annual work social event.
I have avoided them for the last decade.
When I stopped putting my whole identity and worth into my job I was much happier.
I have friends outside of work, I'm close and have good relationships with my actual family, and I have hobbies and things to do that I love outside of work.
It's a game changer ESP in leadership.
Great video! ❤
You can be friends with co workers but you have to respect the fact that what you tell a work colleague you are basically telling everyone.
There is occasionally the person I meet at work who is more important than the job. True friends. Most people are just acquaintances. I'm pretty careful about what I say to them.
AKA coworkers are not your friends
A glimpse of what co workers do in your presence is what they’ll do behind your back.
@@DillyPutty I would argue that at that point the person no longer becomes a coworker and becomes a friend who you happen to work with. but you can really only do that if you explicitly understand that the relationship has changed. anyone else is still just a co-worker that you are friendly with.
And to avoid that I just avoid being friends with them outside of work simple as that. I've been screwed over a couple of times by people I thought having my back, thought nothing was wrong, then boom I'm in the HR office for some bullshit
I worked with a woman who I thought was very nice. She gave me rides home when my car was messed up, and I divulged some personal information to her. It turns out that she gossiped about me and told all of my business to the workplace (and likely twisted some things too). I ended up confronting her about it, and she went to the GM and tried to get ME in trouble, and SHE acted like the victim. It was awkward working with her, and thank goodness she and the other gossipers ended up leaving about a year later, so nobody else at work knows (high turnover). Keep in mind this woman was in her later 40s at the time, and I was in my late 20s. These types of people never grow up.
Good for you for confronting her.
Maybe she had thyroid problem
Tbh the older ones are the worst.
It’s always the older ones that act childish. Trust me I understand!
No, just evil. Stop making excuses for bad behavior.
A coworker is a “sunshine” friend. When things are going good….no problem. But the day you both need the same day off…..there goes the relationship. Be kind, be helpful, but don’t tell them your business.
Yes, I’ve always heard it referred to as a “fair weather” friend, but I definitely agree with you.
Same thing happens when both of you are working for a promotion, but you got it.
coworkers are tornadoes. They can make you lose everything in an instant.
@@allthingschanice2485 - Being in the Military, makes it that harder.
Say it louder for the people in the back!! Yes and yes. 🙌
No one is a friend. Everyone will do stuff to suit them. Just humans
Ya, that's why God gives us 80 - 90 years because after that he can't stand us anymore 😅
A good rule of thumb for me is coworkers are potential allies or potential enemies, but very rarely are potential friends.
This is the best way to threat it like 👍
Curious George, how long have you been in the working world?
@@BOSSDONMAN 39 years. And you?
You can find a good friend at work but its rare.
Yep, and IMHO that's especially true for a newbie in a small town culture, where 'everybody knows everybody else'... and they're fond of 'gossip'.
My coworkers are predominantly pieces of shit, and yet I have to keep reminding myself of that. It gets dangerous when I forget.
That's the correct way and the only way. Say nothing, collect the money, and move along 👌🙂
#Fact
I really wanted to hear this
I also needed to here that !!!. Meet you at the water cooler
Don't work for Home Depot.
This is 100% spot on. Many try to establish a “family” atmosphere but that is always vulnerable to drama and conniving.
Not disagreeing with you or anything but families tend to be Dramatic too
So true. Don’t ever believe the “we’re a family “ speech. Watch your back.
@@ericeandco "we're a family" is just made up crap they say to milk more work out of people and set them into doing extra work and extra hours for the pay.
Whenever they say that, it's a set up, walk away when they flash that exploiter's red flag right from the start.
My anwer to that is always "i already have a family back home, who actually care about me. Not going to trade the little time i can spend each day with my family for work."
Yes, we’ve seen a lot about the family work environment on Instagram lately and I feel like more people are finally getting it
Facts. And if you really cared for these people you’re the one who gets hurt. Especially when you realize they never really cared for you at all. Or if they did, they believe the narcissist’s lies and were manipulated into turning on you. At that point they just like the way you come in and work hard to make them look better.
I learnt the hard way too. In my early years as a manager, I confessed a weakness to a coworker I looked up to as a kind of big sister, only to find out later she had told my CEO, and asked him to sack me. Thank God he knew better.
I later had a friendly coworker I shared same office space with who gossiped to me about the boss, and asked what I thought. I simply told him no comments
DO NOT associate with coworkers outside of work! I have been invited out after work and have politely declined, stating that I don't drink. It is best, if possible, to keep work and personal life completely separate.
Drinking booze with coworkers is a bad idea.
@@shootingbricks8554It is a very bad idea.
@@shootingbricks8554 bruh.......exactly but as soon as you do that you're label as outkast and you will start getting bad reviews or performance. I am in this situation.
It depends on the work environment. Sometimes socializing with them keys you in on important information you may not get at meetings or work hours. But in these cases, it’s best to let others do the talking. But I agree that it’s best to limit socialization.
And don't befriend them on social media either! It only gives them ammo to use against you
Through my 30 year career, I never associated with co-workers outside of work, but admittedly slipped up a few times. There were two people I thought I would keep in contact when I retired since we had a very good working relationship. I was surprised when both ceased contact with me. Yes, people you work with are not your friends, they only communicate with you at work to pass the time.
I knew a couple of retirees that when I seen them and asked did they keep up with their buddies and the answer was a flat NO. I mean these dudes were always talking, hanging out etc. I was about 28 at the time and learned fast co workers are not your friends
@@jarvisaddison8560 I’m 28 and just learning that aswell even when you get befriended it’s usually due to ulterior motives
My understanding, and experience, is that coworkers generally represent nothing more than "situational friendships." That is, they may simulate friendship during temporal moments on the job, but outside, the dynamics are often radically different. The emotional ecology one works in is definitely worth carefully examining in order to safeguard one's collective well-being. Having effective personal boundaries is absolutely critical and indispensable! At work, one is better off regarding one's private life Personal & Confidential, as anything beyond small talk opens up uncertainty and risk. Regrettably, trusting HR and/or management is unsafe. What helped me tremendously was consulting an Industrial Psychologist, as they have a deep understanding of industry and its underlying dynamics. I was able to successfully complete my tour-of-duty and retire early.
@@9gje9 Spot on bro
I’ve experienced this a few times, I reached out to a few ex co-workers after I had switched jobs and they outright ignored my messages. Was pretty disheartening. There’s one I used to hang out with outside of work regularly and he now claims not to have time for me (was happy to use my PlayStation account though….I took this back and changed the password) yes, I learned the hard way co-workers are not your friends
Rule of thumb. Never have co-workers as friends. Don’t be brainwashed by the movies or tv shows. You can’t trust co-workers. Never date anyone from your job. When you go to work, keep it strictly about work. Never talk about your personal life with a co- worker. They will use it against you. Just show up on time, kick butt and go home. Keep you feelings or opinions to yourself.
Yea that’s exactly what I do.
In all my years of working , I’ve never hung with people I work with.
A simple rule for me is, the less I talk at work, unless it’s necessary, is the less back stabbers, will have to use against me.
For some snakes, it doesn’t matter if you don’t say anything, they’ll make stuff up about you anyway.
Really sad people feel this way, maybe because I'm still in college working part time, but I never really had this as an issue
I have to keep the fact that I lowkey love russia
🎯
@@UltimateTS64 just wait you will. That is how the working world is. Don't learn the hard way.
Last year, I was working full time, budgeting groceries, unable to afford date nights, and missing time with my kids. Now I learned how to make money online. Now am a SAHM, homeschooling, and making profits every week.
Everyone needs more than their salary to be financial stable. The best thing to do with your money is to invest it rightly, because money left for saving always end up used with no returns.
Sometimes you don't need 9-5 to be financially stable, I make a lot of money without relying on the government. Investing in stocks and digital currencies is beneficial at the moment.
Can you show me how to trade profitably, I honestly need another source of steady income
Kate Mellon Bruce is not just my family’s financial advisor, she’s a licensed and FINRA agent who other families in the US employs her services
She's active on face book @
You have to work with the people, they’re not friends. Christmas parties are especially tricky. Even though you’re having fun, you’re still at work, and you have to face them Monday morning.
My mom taught me something in my early 30s. Go to work, do your job, shut up, get your paycheque, and go home. Words to live by.
That’s wild, I still hang out with people I’ve worked with. Maybe you just suck ?
or maybe you re just an idiot that can t grasp that there are good people and shitty people ?@@UTP_ENT
@@UTP_ENT Why would you say that? Just because you're lucky enough to have decent people to work with doesn't mean that everyone else can
@@UTP_ENT Brilliant reply! 🙄😬
Your mom was a wise woman.
This is why remote work is the best. You do your job without being dragged into drama or unnecessary forced interactions. Strictly professional and polite. Clock in, do your job then clock out.
I agree.... I have been in the same situation as this video. Since switching to remote, I rarely talk to anyone unless it is about a project or work related. No personal or after hours meets.
I've done remote work. It's just as gossipy.
Remote work can be just as bad if not worse. At home it's easier to send someone a quick "off network" message
Well the thing is remote jobs are now harder and damn next impossible to get nowadays
@@aaronharlow2137 Must have been an extremely toxic environment to have leaked over to remote.
It's not just at work. It's EVERYWHERE. You have to be very careful -- some people are flat-out delusional. You tell them something innocent; they twist it, then spread their distorted version to everyone who knows you. And if they are evil, they will make up things. They may even accuse YOU of doing things THEY did. Staying away from them sometimes isn't enough. They can lie about that, too.
I know it sucks to want to vent or relate some event but have to bottle it up. As according the rules of gossip and rumour mongering whomever you speak to is obligated to embelish, twist before passing on.
How do you know my ex wife?
Exactly!
Exactly. If you tell HR to set the record straight then you're seen as a litigation liability. WTH?
Someone once did that to me.
She turned another team member against me for literally zero reason. That was my first and hopefully last contact with someone who is simply evil. Just nasty and destroys people for laughs.
I am so glad you brought this topic up. I can't tell you how many times I had to tell friends that their coworkers are NOT their friend. It helps to keep boundaries in work relations. You avoid needless drama, hurt, and frustration.
Do not treat work like highschool. Many people live boring lives and dont want to grow. They need excitement in their lives in the expense of others.(drama) Remember work is for a paycheck. Others treat it like a social gathering. Age doesn't Equal maturity only wisdom can do that.
damn good advice.
Amen
Words of wisdom.
Probably the wisest comment to be found on RUclips really.
According to this, I should treat it like high school because teenagers do a lot of this crap more thannost adults I have ever met.
You can be friendly with your coworkers, but your coworkers are not your friends. That is a lesson everyone needs to take to heart.
My advice is to always keep to yourself and NEVER open up to or trust anyone in the workplace. Every workplace has at least one insecure person. Learned this the hard way too. Just ignore people, do your job to the best of your ability, then get the hell out at the end of each day.
Lol
How boring. I bet you were the loner back in school too. Am i right? Please answer honestly
You must have a very sad life if that is your advice. People spend most of their lives at work, you have to be a really antisocial individual not to make friends at work.
@@theostragonidis7548 Sorry, but no. You choose your friends in life, you don't have them inadvertently thrust upon you when you start a job. I don't quite understand your need to comment simply to berate me in such a way. Did it make you that much happier?
@@chris101gray3 I'm really astounded by the sheer amount of antisocial people like you, who have the most ridiculous outlook on life. When you were in school, you also had people "inadvertently thrust upon you", did you not make friends there too? There are decent people everywhere, if you don't want to make friends where you work that's fine but don't think it's normal - it's not. People make friends at school, at university, at their jobs and at their retirement homes. That's what's normal.
Yeah, well, that's how they brand you as "the weird one". The only thing I found to be effective is to put on your psychopath suit. Act friendly and caring, always guard your tongue, and manipulate anyone who tries to manipulate you.
Also, gather as much dirt on your boss and company as you can. Notice every discrepancy, especially if you found out that they've underpaid you. Use an app to clock in your hours for yourself if you get paid by a hourly rate so later you can compare the two to find any discrepancies. you should still clock in in some situations. For example, in "someone's" case where a fixed monthly pay was deducted by hours missed but not balanced with extra time which instead of paying the 100%-200% for, they decided to add 50 extra monthly hours as part of the global pay. What they did was illegal in my country in so many ways, that I'm not even going to try to start to explain it.
Now, that SWIM (someone who isn't me) could've told this to their boss and get the payment sorted out but then fired a few months later for some bullshit. instead they waited until they wanted to quit, made said boss fire them so they get the larger severance pay, and the monthly unemployment payments (they basically pay you 75% of your calculated monthly average, each month for 6 months or until your find a new job).
However, the best part was that they filed a complaint with the company for underpaying them with that illegally unbalanced monthly global, and demanded pay for all the hours they weren't paid for. Now, in my country, a personal timesheet (even one that's written by hand in a notebook) is evidence enough. The employer has to prove the employee was lying by providing timesheets that show a real discrepancy (not a few mistakes or tiny differences measured by minutes), and if the employer has none and tries to falsify them, this can be easily tested and once caught, they'll be charged with fraud, so no one in their right mind will try that move to try fool the system. Obviously that person wasn't lying, so the employer can't do s**t about it, so now the next step is on the employer. Unless they want to pay the full 500% extra to the employee (basically, the fine for not paying your worker on time is paying them an additional 500% of what you owe them) they'll have to argue their case at the national labour court, to get them to lower the 500% additional payment, which they'll most likely get lowered to somewhere between 25% to 100% which is what happens in most cases.
So, you see, this is exactly why some employees try to be fake friendly and gather info from co-workers and be friendly with the boss to make them slip and say stuff they shouldn't have at the company day trip and again at the company dinner (which was then used by said employee to make their boss agree to their demand to fire them, which btw, their boss was the CEO of the company no less, lmao), because if they don't do that, someone else will do that to them, since almost everybody at work always tries to gather info on everyone else to be used as ammo for personal benefit, or as in my case, used as insurance against those who want to screw you over.
I don’t make friends at work. Keep it STRICTLY PROFESSIONAL
Why is making friends unprofessional?
❌Coworkers are not friends. They are acquaintances! ❌
I learned the hard way too and got traumatized even until now. Be polite yet distant, friendly yet guarded against all workplace people. Trust no one.
What happened?
Yes, especially those who are not in your own department you must watch what you do and say. I've worked most of my working experience at a casino and there are many different departments that just don't seem to like each other. If your a man, it's best to not talk much to females at the workplace. I've seen so many male workers get written up and sometimes fired from complains from females in the workplace. Don't know if the complaints were valid or not but I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't.
I'll never forget the co-worker who had a look of hatred in his eyes when I revealed during lunch that I oppose the public financing of campaigns under "campaign finance reform."
Back then, I thought people of different political persuasions could still be friends.
I was wrong then (20-25 years ago), and it's no doubt worse now.
During my annual appraisal, my manager said that I could trust others more. I laughed.
1. Why would I trust the people who've stabbed me in the back?
2. Why would I trust the people who I've seen and heard gossip?
3. Why would I trust the managers who've lied to me, yelled at me, stolen my ideas, and took credit for my work?
That's asking me to commit career suicide. Trust is earned.
And for Pete's sake DON'T LOAN THEM MONEY!
33 years as an tradesmen, taught me 3 lessons.
1) Watch your back Jack
2) Mind your own business
3) Work issues stays at work, home issues stays at home.
And my pro-tip of the week: Always keep notes in a little black book for reference, or take photos of your work or work jobs/cards etc...
A picture is worth a thousand words especially in the trades. Solid advice
Your pro tip is good. Document, document, document.
You are SO right about the documentation. Bang on.
Great advice! 👍
As someone entering my first job ever now; this knowledge is golden.
The video and comment section here actually made me realize I'm just dumb and starry-eyed about people. I really had no idea.
So thanks a ton for the tips. I'm staying out of trouble.
You can be friends with co-workers. Just follow one simple rule, only say things to them that you would say directly to whoever it is you are talking about. This works well when talking about anyone in any situation.
Yup. One of my good friends was actually my work manager/boss originally so a healthy, long term relationship with co-workers isn't impossible you just have to be wise and deserning about it but that true of all relationships.
Yup only say about a person what you would say to their face. It's the honest thing to do. Otherwise you are the one being the gossip.
Especially when they offer a nightout having a few beers hooing you droo your guard
Exactly, and if you do find yourself bitching about someone to another person by mistake, go directly to that person and appologise, Ive done it before, ive said hey mate, Ive been having a shit day and someone baited me into bithcing about things and the topic got onto workers, I try hard not to be involved in that kinda shit but i was wound up and made a mistake, I said this about you and i want to appologise to you directly as i made a mistake, ask for forgiveness. Ask if theres anything you can do to help them out. Some of my greatest friendships in life started this way. Honesty, openness and admitting when youve ducked up is what gets rid of un necessary departments like HR.
i mean in his story time he said something that he probably also coudlve said to the person it was about easily. still the words got heavily twisted and the situation got out of hand which is the problem almost always
It's great to be friendly with co-workers, but you need to keep a distance. Same goes for neighbors.
Yes be friendly just don’t divulge anything personal
My husband and I were having arguments at home about how much I should be working when the kids were little. He decided to confide in his coworkers about our conversations. I tried to tell him not to do this because I had already learned the hard way. Later when raises came up they told him he didn’t deserve a raise because he could afford for his wife not to work.
At this point does not matter who is right and who is wrong. it is clear that no one should work for in such company at first
Wow that’s pathetic. He should have gotten a raise regardless because life can throw at you cause you to lose everything.
Time to find a new job
Sounds like that was a few years ago but I hope your husband has moved to a better company. Corporate greed and the rat race for pay raises is truly evil.
@@ijustfelldown corporate greed definitely exist, imagine getting a .27 cent raise for top performer , and the worse performer .23 cents … and the big boys getting the bulk of the raises… it hurts specially when you sweat your butt off to get that extra money.
Best advice at work is come to do your work, be positive, mind your own business, listen more than speak, thank people for their help, get everything done, don’t criticize co-workers, go home. I’ve learned the hard way about over sharing. I will never tell anyone at work anything about my personal life ever again. I just finished my first week in a new position & my anxiety is thru the roof.
You said it. The most toxic people are the ones who can't mind their own damn business at work, I have noticed.
Yup I will be glad if I don’t become a human in my next reincarnation because all us humans are very twisted with their opinions and cause me so much anxiety. The only good thing our human vessels make is art in all its forms and video games and “fake” worlds.
That's the thing I'm doing right now, I don't like to talk about my personal life, I just go there to do my job and when it's time to leave I go home.
Most people have to have a bad experience before they learn to do this. This is why it's so good for teens to get working ASAP to learn these lessons before they get into their career jobs.
@@DJFreeway-DJDeltoid-DJZales I have had the same thoughts. I think I want to be a bird in the next life or go to another planet….
As a teacher, the school building is RIFE with gossip. You gotta be very calculated in what you say and to whom you say it to. Trust no one.
I wholeheartedly agree with you!
I hate gossip, especially in the workplace. I've worked fast food and retail, so I've experienced LOTS OF IT, and I thought, " At least when I graduate, I won't have to deal with immature gossiping." I'm teaching next year. 😅
Yes
I worked at high school as well. It was constant gossip and a negative environment. A lot of it didn’t really interest me and didn’t fit in. So I basically quit, I came to the realization that those obviously have nothing better going on with their lives.
@notgonnaargue8986 it ain't finna get no better. I've done retail, fast food, banks, custodial, and now teaching. I eat in my classroom or teammates room. I never eat in the teachers' lounge. It's bad for your mental health.
This is why I NEVER go to any company outings, parties...etc. Have never gone and will never start going.
Not only do we have the same name-- we have the same work related experience
I work in an office of all women mostly under 40. The boss tries to make us a family, hypes up the culture of the business and I hear the other workers all joking, laughing loudly together, hanging out in hallways and in the parking lot before leaving at night and I'm just like "nah"- I'll be friendly, smile, will engage in some small talk, but won't socialize at people's homes or hang out at work. I keep my cards way close to my chest and offer very little about myself. One bad exchange absolutely can become a thing.
That's the gist of it. I'll be friendly but we're not friends.
I said something that soon got me (said for a + on purpose) Then that person caused a stink.
I then let them know this was all about who can you trust and not about fact. You failed. You will not get any heads up about when the next Shiza and the fan are about to be turned on.
The bosses that sat in and agreed with the other side of this also got canned, later on. The complainer got canned before I retired.
I also knew someone in HR and did it with his blessing. WE both did the same job before working there.
I warned them. It would catch up to them. Was not my 1st rodeo.
It’s actually a really sick and dysfunctional thing for bosses to call the work team “family”. They aren’t. They would replace you in a day without batting an eye. You’re so smart. Your gut already told you this.
Rule No.1 man everything stays at work. I've had people joke and laugh with me then I find out they went to the supervisor behind my back. its SOOO sick!
The company just bought 3 tables at an event where there was an open bar. Because I am on the Board of similar organizations, I went to the event. Did not drink- saw multiple co-workers sloshed. Just shook my head and smiled. Sociable and friendly, but not friends. 🤷
This is why I love being a security guard working the graveyard shift. The only things keeping me company are the wild animals that get too close to the areas I patrol. The owls can get chatty sometimes.
The owls are spreading gossip😊
They are considered wise. You're in the right company. Unless of course they rat you out to the grizzly bears.
@@GS-zc4sk Lol! Fortunately there are no grizzly bears where I live. I'm more worried about skunks.
Yep deal with this every day! Drama llamas!!!!!
Bro I work overnights with NO coworkers and my work life balance is absolutely amazing ! I work a lot of OT and always get that $$$$ doesn’t even feel like work when you don’t have coworkers
Its so crazy how common it is for weird individuals to pretend to be friendly with you to get information out of you. This happened to me before when I worked at an average warehouse for a big company. Some girl was super friendly to me and asked me about the boss and I said he seems really nice but I feel like he’s gonna be strict on me for some reason but he seems like a good guy and she went and told the boss that I didn’t like him and he wasn’t a good boss and he came to specifically told me to stay away from her because he knew I wasn’t the type of guy to gossip and say negative things about people (I keep to myself) and he immediately transferred me to a different location in the warehouse away from her. Its weird how these rats like to mess with the people who don’t want anything to do with the drama lol
If you are the type of person to do so, I think you should have confronted her and made her squirm and seethe and extracted whatever explanation you could from her, and from then on, make some time every now and then to rekindle your fight with her and just continue to wear her down in the most malicious way you can.
It works especially well with girls who aren’t exactly going to fight you lol, but you do have to cover your asss from harassment charges. So be careful of that.
Moreover, you know where she works. You can find out more.
In my view, it is equally important to repay debts and grudges. Just don’t let it take up too much mental space, and learn to enjoy what I told you to do so in moderation. People can become obsessed with revenge and its important to avoid that
You're lucky your boss is smart
Yep women are the worst especially insecure ones. Eventually these people get theirs.
You’re stupid for confiding in a female at a work place
That boss sounded like a standup guy, saw the bullshit and didn't jump to conclusions and punish you.
Yeah, if someone asks you how you feel about the boss, you should know it's a setup. The best response, in my opinion, is that the boss is fine and switch up the conversation. There's no need to even go further than that.
Learned that in the military. The higher rank you got the fewer "friends" you had and the more polite enemies you got. As soon as you jump into the SNCOs ranks the smiles are mostly fake and the knives are very real. It was a heart-breaking lesson that made the last assignment of my career absolutely miserable.
One I will make sure my children understand that lesson from go.
People absolutely suck.
Humans suck. Everybody on their own. There's no kumbaya.
Especially Democrats.
Don't remind me. My fellow officers were backstabbing like crazy
@@LeutnantJoker that was the only point of honor in the Air Force in the SNCO ranks.
You always wiped off your knife before you stuck it in the next guy's back.
What happened at your last assignment
Learned this lesson the hard way. Made "friends" with a person at my job. Went to his house for family gatherings, super bowl parties, went golfing regularly with him. He went to our boss one day and unleashed a list of invalid complaints about me. Completely blind sided me. Instead of verifying the information our boss raked me over the coals. I was so upset I quit on the spot. Never again!!
So... you gave the narcissist EXACTLY what they wanted, because they were threatened by you and wanted you gone?
@@fredmercury1314 He was looking for a pieces of mine not piece of job.
@@fredmercury1314 ikr they won
@@fredmercury1314 yes, this is what they wanted....but when you have a boss that will not listen and allows the narcissist to continue, what does one do??
@@fredmercury1314I understand the point, but I disagree with the conclusion. Leaving is 100% the right thing to do. That situation will never improve. The alternative is to stay there and be miserable. You can’t ‘win’ against a narcissist. Removing yourself from the situation is the ultimate counter move. They can’t control you anymore.
Long ago, a very wise man gave me some advice on interacting with coworkers... "Keep your business and opinions to yourself and don't tell em s**t."
Bruh.......exactly and when you do use a sniff test to root out the gossiper or informant
Facts
Very good Advice!!!!
Was that wise man a wiseguy by the name of Jimmy Conway in Goodfellas?
Very wise man
Same thing happened to me; most workplaces I have experienced are full of toxic, damaged people. I am a big fan of remote working.
1.) If you are genuinely a good hearted person, don't give your work colleagues your all, until you know who does or doesn't deserve it. This could take you awhile to figure it out so take your time.
2.) Don't gossip, don't let anyone know what you're thinking and always bring a positive consistent attitude.
You don't want to be labeled as a gossiper, you don't want something you say used against you and no one likes to work with someone who is an emotional rollercoaster.
3.) Do not take anything personal. No one is out to get you, a bad coworker would treat you the same way as any other person. Their behavior is not about you. It's about their insecurities.
4.) When you are working, learn as much as you can. Don't squeak by doing only the minimum. You are only hurting yourself. Knowledge and experience is what demands the real dollars. If you're not learning at work, find a new job or learn something during your free time. Time passes whether you are learning or not so you might as well utilize your time effectively.
Thanks!
As to ur #4 rule, my number 1 piece of advice, especially to older people, is always have bluetooth headphones with you. So you can always be listening to something that u can learn from, or even something entertaining will make ur work day fly by.
@learenng1267 I needed a bit of a refresher. Thanks for your comment 🙏🏼
The 4th comment does not apply to us retired person who works part time! I make up by lifting heavy objects! 💪
Great stuff here, especially #4. Let your company pay YOU to learn skills. You can use it to become more valuable at this job, or the next one.
This video is exactly the reason I hope to never go back to the office. Working from home eliminates so much crap.
Facts!
Totally true. I am fighting this now. Trying desperately to remain remote for this very reason...
No drama and palace intrigue!
This comment is so true
Sounds like the best home relief possible.
( And the ideal H R)
I was fired from a 4 year position as a security supervisor for mentioning something to a co-worker that I shouldn't have. I thought they were my friend, but they wanted my position and passed the info on to my boss. I was shocked how fast a person I was on good terms with for years turned on me. Tough lesson to learn, but it helped me ultimately.
Yup they all just want your job. Even temps😂
Had the same situation happen to me. It does suck to not have friends and be a robot…but after that experience…I don’t talk or connect much with my coworkers other than “good morning” and “have a good night”. I’m specially on red alert because I’m the only guy in a team led by women…and without knowing people’s backgrounds or whatever they do and specially living in a blue state, I don’t even say what I did on the weekend when they ask because it may be church…and that may unknowingly offend someone 😂. So just keep to yourself and be robotic but don’t be an ass.
My restaurant job just hired a trans… and I fear that I could lose my job …am I angry..of course.. but if I get paired up with Mr pronoun… I may quit
May there be a special place in Hell for them.
That punk is a snitching and sucka
you don't have coworkers as friends, you have friendly coworkers
In my military service, when it was compulsory in Spain, a month before leaving, one of the lieutenants in my company asked me who the hell I was. He didn't know my face, my name, nothing. When I told them I had been there for 18 months, he couldn't believe it. Basically, had never been arrested, drunk, in a fight, caught napping at the guard, talking too much, bragging, nothing. I had just been doing my job as well as possible, shutting up, and eating my food in a corner with a good view. Same approach in civil life. It works as long as you get the job done, which is exactly why you're there.
Amazing how universal that is, no grandiose bragging will speak louder, than that brag ever would.
Much respect Espania
I had a similar experience in basic training. And I was 6'3. They didn't ever see me 😂
That's exactly how I am after the Navy. I was on a carrier that had 5600 guys, my division living space had 300 guys. When I went to college after my 6-year enlistment, I never had a roommate, hung out with exactly two fellow engineering majors outside of school, and I've never hung out with coworkers outside of work. Even at work, I minimize contact. I totally agree, flying under the radar is the way to go. Being stationed on an aircraft carrier for 4 years killed any desire to hang out with people.
@@Skank_and_Gutterboy
The only problem with flying under the radar is that people don’t recognize your work, and many promotions and job referrals are determined by who you know.
I’m guessing you must have been a POG; that shit ain’t flying as a grunt seeing as you’re all working closely together.
As a grunt they even know every time you decide to jerk one off and there ain’t nothing more personal than that.
The best comeback I got from my son for office gossip is, stop them in their tracks and say , gosh, that sounds really important, you should speak to them directly.
Perfect!
Meh.
Yeah that comeback might work in the moment but as soon as your back is turned they will start gossiping about You they will say stuff like who does that self righteous people pleasing phony thinks he is, trust Me I’ve seen it happen, mostly to Me
THAT'S WHY I DON'T LIKE SMALL TOWNS
GOOD ONE!!! 😂
I've made this mistake before. I got too comfortable with a coworker and thought we were buddies, and I told her a few things I didn't like about our boss, which I later found out she relayed to our boss. So yeah, basically I badmouthed my boss to a coworker who I mistakenly thought I could trust. Rookie mistake, lesson learned.
I have came across a coworker like that too. Ever since then, I don’t say anything about anyone. Another thing that gets me….this coworker will talk poorly about others and then be up in their face the next. That’s when I knew I couldn’t trust that coworker. She talks about the boss but come to find out they are super cool. Those are the ones you gotta look out for. But overall, trust no one….. including the manager.
She was probably trying to get you fired because she saw you as competition!
That's why I never talk to colleagues of speak badly of other co-workers or bosses, it's the easiest way to get in trouble.
The tough part is that sometimes it’s not “gossiping “ It is people who are very unhappy, and are looking for some kind of support or help in resolving a situation.
Yeah… You can never vent to anyone in the office place. Save it for therapy or your partner.
@@madameversieramy dad was the kind of person to Talk bad about the boss...WITH THE BOSS 😂. But he was always the smartest out there, so no way to fire him out
Most of the people i worked with forget about you quickly. Not only that, i was shocked to hear how they really thought of other former coworkers. There are some very two faced people out there. Now the guys are as bad as the girls.
When I started working at my last job, I hung out with certain people during lunch because we were in training together. After a few months I split from the group and ate by myself because I couldn't deal with the gossip and negativity.
Trust no one at the office. No one.
Self-employment is even better, you don't have to worry about whether you work with somebody you trust
@@Am71919 I'm sure it is, but if you are "self employed" you're the CEO, COO and manager of everything. At some juncture, you may have to hire people to make more money. Employees aren't hired out of altruism. Every self employed person who want's to expand, ends up being exactly what they complained about.
They got fired or left job
I keep coworkers and neighbors at an arms length because you just never know who can’t be trusted among these “friend of convenience” type of relationships.
Faxx😊
“Friend of convenience” is a brilliant term
My neighbor invited me over but I don’t mingle with my neighbours. She got upset when I didn’t show up and told many people I stood her up. I told her I study now and don’t have time to mingle. She looked dumbfounded that the others told me she was complaining.
@@julienielsen4462 they stabbed her in the back.
Be respectful but trust no one..
What I've learned is don't be too overly nice to coworkers. They will take advantage of you. It's okay to be cordial. But, that's it. Keep it simple.
FACTS!!! Oh man trust me I’ve learned this. The types of coworkers that pretend to be your friends will be your worst enemies.
@@user-pn9xp1gz2l just scary man. just scary. lol
@@user-pn9xp1gz2l Truth.
I learned that long time ago. You are alone at work, just pretend you are nice with the others.
Good advice - I would also argue that a manager that takes the "informant" seriously also has a problem.
I had my own opinions at the time as well.
My guess would be they knew each other pretty well before manager got promoted or got the job.
Woke worship of the WOCs.
Absolutely.
Yeah I think things like that are a telltale sign of someone who is not a good leader. A good leader needs to be able to handle criticism
Your Coworkers are not you friends! Never reveal your plans and always move in silence.
You must work with so many horrible people.
I love that I'm forced to spend the majority of my waking hours in a place I don't want to be, surrounded by people I don't like...
I HATE, HATE, HATE that I'm forced to spend the majority of my waking hours in a place I don't want to be, surrounded by people I don't like... (though I am currently unemployed and loving every minute of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)😁😁😁
Find a job that gives you more freedom like door to door sales for example
Run for your life girl. Life is too short.
word
Sounds like you should help overthrow capitalism. I'm there too.
This video was SPOT ON AND SO GOOD!! Work is work, leave it at work. Pick and choose who you surround yourself with wisely.
I worked for 10 years on a public institution. From the very beginning I told them: "I'm everybody's partner, but I'm nobody's friend. I don't come here to make friends". That made me look bad at first, but they realize that it was my way and it was fine: we worked perfectly fine together, we laughed, we had a great time working. But I've never had a drink with them, never saw them outside the workplace, nothing. I also never gossip, or use any social media, it's also the way I am. And I hate that, so if people said things about me behind my back, I never found out. I've never had any serious problem with anybody, at least not that I know of. Great advice. 👍
Just another reason I like being self-employed. This whole corporate charade and culture is hilarious way too much effort to put in all this stuff. You can’t even be someone’s friend anymore. You’ll never get rich in building someone else’s business either unless you’re a high paid sales person selling high ticket items, are you have a very specialized skill and you can demand hi six figures are seven figures a year in salary.
Awesome advice ✌
@@joeglennazThat’s true. I want to have my own business but I have to work to earn the seed money first.
I made the mistake of trusting an HR person when they asked me how things are going. I mentioned that my frustration was due to a lot of red tape in order to get something done. Next thing I know, I get called into a meeting with my boss stating that I'm not a good fit for the position. Taught me the lesson that no matter what, never complain about anything to an HR person. They are snakes.
Don’t go to HR with your problems. They will solve it for you, but not always in the way you want.
Don't go to HR for anything but problems with your direct deposit, questions about benefits, and other banal matters. Outside of things like this, in almost all cases, they won't help you anyway.
Brian, I really appreciate your content and straightforwardness. I would of liked to have someone like you working in one of the companies that I have been employed with.
You should go to your HR person and propose to them.
In front of your boss.
The HR lady at my job is kinky and a walking red flag. I stay clear of her at all costs. She volunteers too much information about her personal life. Then one time she asked my coworker if she was dating anyone. My coworker said that she is married. HR lady just responded "so I guess that's a no for dating" 🤦
I don't trust HR, nor direct deposit
Some people will ask you personal questions and then use it to gossip about you. I learned to keep my personal life to myself.
Coworkers will use you and betray you. Don't trust anyone at work. It's a competitive environment and people nearly always have ulterior motives at work particularly.
If you want to maintain a healthy work environment for yourself, NEVER hang with colleagues out of work environment and definitely keep your personal life, personal opinions and work life separate from each other. That’s what I have learn from working within multiple companies and organizations. It’s safer that way.
It is safer but some people are really cool so it should be more of a “choose carefully who you hang out with outside of work”.
@@Silenced_by_nazi_youtube that’s how you get T-boned
then wth you talk about:O
I had a former co-worker that's a pain in the behind. There was a time he wanted to borrow $50.00 from me and I refused. He then became a thorn at work. He also lived with his parents and felt entitled. I ignored him by taking a different shift. 😂
Great advice and never tell your life goals and dreams to them either because they’ll do anything to hold you back because they are afraid you’ll surpass them
Really good points. One thing I learned over time - when you are a new employee, it is sometimes the first person to want to friend you that is exactly the wrong person to friend up with.
Yes you are so right on with that!
Agree with most
I've not found that to be true at all. Maybe it depends on the industry. In my industry (tech), it's really common to be completely ignored for months.
This is bang on!
Yeah defo got to be careful
This hit hard, doesn't matter how good you treat people, doesn't matter how much you help them, and it doesn't matter how well they react to you, because they will stab you in the back the moment they get an opportunity.
I’ve been a supervisor for 20 years. This is 100 percent accurate. I have very few people I’d hang out with outside of work. I’ve worked with some for over 20 years. It’s important to learn your surroundings and who the pot stirrers are.
💯%
Supervisors have to follow strict guidelines and rules for workplace protocols and safety. Anything outside that in regards to hang outs that could happen may and could be deemed inappropriate.
I heard this once, straight from a supervisor themselves.
@@souleater4242564kodd That’s a real dumbass assumption. I pay 30 bucks an hour plus overtime to individuals who can do the job. Problem is, you have to learn how to do the job and that takes showing up and motivation few young lazy crybabies have.
Thank you. 👍🏾
Real talk
As a 40 plus year HR professional my best advice is NEVER socialize with coworkers. Maintaining objectivity and trustworthiness are critical in your HR role.
Then, as a male office worker who doesn’t “socialize” you are ostracized and seen as weird, then quietly let go.
@@Grim67894If you could read, he's talking about being in an HR role.
@@mutahmarriagecounselor2272 ouch. That wasn’t very kind.
@SilverDex66 if I’m ostracized and quietly let go from a job for not socializing with coworkers, then with hindsight I didn’t want that job. That termination would be a blessing in disguise
@@nicholasselke5214 Most terminations are blessings in disguise.
While HR stands for Human Resources they are not there to help you they’re there to protect the company.
They are insurance for management
They stand for ( and against)
Home Relief
Same thing with Compliance Hotlines, sad to say. Some companies are very professional, use a third party and maintain confidentiality. I have heard of one where they had HR folks listen to the voice to see if they could figure out who it was. Think of human resources as the people in hospitals that call themselves "social workers" that are there to discharge people as soon as possible for insurance reasons. Sad but true.
Yes absolutely I agree with him, don't make friends at work or at least don't divulge any personal feelings because some of these folks can blow it out of proportion and will go running to tell other higher authorities so that they can boost their careers
I learned that no one is my friend, not coworkers, neighbors, family relatives, or even people you try to fit in with on social media as fellow content creators, I am on my own. And if i ever have trouble, i need to find a solution myself to solve my own problems. Its annoying to be keeping my guard up at all times but life made me have to do that.
I feel the exact same way. Everyone that I let into my circle betrayed me in one way or another. It's very disheartening.
Yeah, people are mean and just not worth it
@@hero2006 yea honestly! Can totally 100% agree, I don’t let anyone in anymore, once I made that decision more peace flows, privacy is key to this life ! :)
Yes, this is why I had to depend on no one but Christ for me to find my next position!
Especially family..they dont have your back..maintain a safe distance.
I learned a valuable lesson a while ago. People are nice - until they’re not. Keep that in mind folks. Words to live by. Also, sometimes people are your work buddies just to set you up. Always keep it separate. Best.
Best thing about working remote is not having to engage and make small talk with coworkers. Makes it a lot easier to keep interactions professional.
Until your job is sent to India
@@AFuller2020 It’s not that easy to “send the job” to India without the company physically establishing itself in India like opening an office. Most mid-size to small companies don’t have the ability to do that. Also, trying to hire foreigners if the company is American based opens up a whole new level of tax implications and dealings with unfamiliar foreign labor laws. They could hire foreigners as contractors but even that comes with problems.
I've worked in companies that had large India/foreign labor participation. The quality of the work just wasn't there. Not even close. I might be a little unique, but I have 20+ years experience and am one of the best at what I do. I've been working remote exclusively since 2020 and I've always had plenty of work. I get contacted by 20-30 recruiters per week about potential work.
@@steinravnik8692 most recruiters are fronting for venture groups. Trying to build a team on paper that can do some government or fortune 500 capital project. Like a SAP conversion or new XYZ factory engineering.
You can get contacted 5 times by 5 groups hoping to bid the same job. If one gets it they MAY call you back. Earlier you were just free vaporware...now you're being shopped. The job will likely have a time limit, and filled with encounters of real staff that hates why you're there and wants you to fail.
Yeah I never tell coworkers my life story, they are not your friends, and you have to be very careful today, because they will take something and run with it.