Go to our sponsor pridecounseling.com/brianterada for 10% off your first month of therapy with Pride Counseling and get matched with a LGBTQ+ friendly therapist who will listen and help.
My only issue with Pride Counseling is that when I tried to use it, they could not find a single therapist in their system who is also transgender, like me. Which tells me they either 1. Aren't paying high enough 2. Aren't as accepting of a workplace environment as they should be They are PRIDE counseling. I hope they have some trans therapists by now.
@BenSwagnerd Ya know ..... no one cares. If you wanna be discriminatory, don't voice it. Now the logical conclusion is that no👏trans👏has👏gone👏through👏the👏process👏to👏be👏certified👏and👏on👏top👏of👏that👏applied👏to👏pride👏therapy👏 Which whyyyyy?
Hi, I'm a 50 yo straight white male, married with two teen daughters, one of which came out recently. Have to say this was genuinely informative and joyful to watch, great work. I do have to push back a little on Ari though when he said straight men are the worst dressers, I have found in my.... Ah! who am I kidding.
I read this comment out loud to my friends because this is the exact impact I hope to have. Thank you for watching, and caring so much about learning more so you can love your daughter. Congrats on being a great dad !!
So as a bisexual women I totally get the not feeling represented thing especially in film lol I did a report on it bc I’m a film major and it was super hard to find a film that had any representation of a bi character and the ones that did, represented bi people as cheaters bc it’s a stereotype that we cheat on our SO just because we are attracted to both genders… also lesbian women get less representation and are more sexualized :( I love this conversation and we should continue to bring the topic up!!
yeees this i did the same thing but for ace people and it's even worse, we barely see any representation outside of the gays and lesbians to give a good image in any kind of media, was so happy with "sex education" for showing an ace character
@@flops1792 The tragic story, you didn+t become a man, you are not male. you`re a female, who deprived herself from female hormone and poisoned herself with male hormone. Lifelong medical patient. The tragic story, you didn+t become a women, you are not female. you`re a male, who deprived himself from male hormone and poisoned himself with female hormone. Lifelong medical patient. Every sinner, including homosexuals (lgbtq+) are all called to REPENTANCE: Luke 5:32 I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. Matthew 9:13 But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. Genesis 13:13 But the men of Sodom were wicked and sinners before the LORD exceedingly. Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Luke 13:5 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. Luke 13:3 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. You won´t be heard by GOD if you have not come to REPENTANCE: John 9:31 Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth. John 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. John 3:7 Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again. Because of the lack of knowledge which you all also practice, therefore none of you truly know, what you are doing nor what you are supporting. Luke 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
Just wanted to show a point here; men do get shown a lot on movies to atract female audiences. Gay content is also made for female straight audiences and is consumed a lot. Somehow, showing female half-nude and them getting stared is seen as violent, when most men wouldn't even think to hurt a woman. Being atracted isn't a sin.
personally all the bi women I know think if they have a dude or girl messing with the opposite of what they have is not cheating. that stereotype didn't come from no where
i agree with ari. as a bisexual woman, i do not feel represented. the lgbtq community can be horrible to bi people. they judge so much and can be rude. i’ve had people tell me i need to make up my mind and choose boys or girls and that’s annoying!
I’m Demisexual/Demiromantic. Ace folks have long felt excluded or invalidated by both the cishet & LGBTQ communities too. I thought as understanding of nonbinary & gender-fluidity gained more understanding so too would bisexuality and asexuality, but it feels like the dial has barely moved.
I’m sorry you don’t feel represented. However the vast majority of the lgbtq community is bisexual, on top of that bisexual women. Y’all need to put in the work too!
as a gay man i am ashamed to say that i was one of these people who disliked bi people..but the older i got the more i relised aceptance/love comes in all forms....
I mean I'm gay, I get this as a joke but if we being real I prefer how some straight men dress compared to some gays. Although if we talking ratio wise, gay people probably dress more neat but not necessarily "better". I think my straight guy friends dress pretty good.
11:00 I’d be all the way to left. The community can be so cruel to bisexual people. I get that everyone has preferences, but the amount of times I’ve heard people completely rule out dating bi people is ridiculous. And it’s always people in our own community. It sucks.
i cannot, for the life of me, understand why someone wouldn't date a person because they're bi. i mean if they're into you, isn't that the only thing that matters??
@@SeydreyBecause they feel like they can't fully satisfy the other person. Also, being in a straight relationship is a lot easier so bisexual people tend to choose that over a gay one.
My only ex was bisexual and what bothered me was that I could’ve possibly been an experiment though he claimed to really like me. He again was also my only boyfriend, so this left an image of bisexual distaste with me. He was also younger by a few years so I guess there’s multiple variables.
Would you be able to do one of these with Ace/Asexual people? I feel like it'd be such an interesting new dynamic to the conversation that doesn't often get discussed
@@bichitomax reditor ass comment :skull, get a life who the fuck unironically sayd intellect 🤓, you sound like you'd get bullied, and i cant blame the bullies
Can we amplify smart and respectable voices who have something of substance to say - who are respectable and a n ideal representation? Lilah is funny but she’s a vulgar, simple-minded sugar baby and her train-wreck nights out with Tana are just … a lot. They leave a trail of devastation in their wake wherever they go.
I'm actually shocked that the first question didn't get anyone saying the fact that in countries where homosexuality is illegal, cisgender gay men are the main target with their life the most in danger. Such privilege to be able to think queer issues are limited to dating pools and representation.
As a bisexual, I get it sm about the representation thing. There’s nearly no bi characters in shows, they have to be straight or gay. I complain about it all the time
Bisexual men are seriously the most chill human beings I've ever had the pleasure of calling a friend ❤️ they don't get the Rep they deserve, & they simply DGAF about it
I don’t know if this has to do with me being a bisexual man or not but I don’t and have never really cared for having a “coming out” and I wish I could do do my thing and not have to explain myself or even make a huge deal out of it
It’s deff interesting to see that everyone literally has their own ways and up bringings. it’s amazing to see and show other people that everyone has similarities but also different (: it’s all love ❤
im literally writing an essay for college rn about labeling sexuality and how we can feel confusion from the pressure of others putting a letter on us. The question of being represented in pride and the conversation you guys had about it made me feel so validated in my view on it.
@BrianTerada I would love to see a part 2. I'm a 43 year old lesbian in a 19 year monogamous relationship and neither of us has ever gone to a pride parade (and we live in Southern California.) We both grew up in conservative Christian households and still not accepted by our parents, but we both still believe in God and Jesus. Politically I feel like things were getting better after the passage of Same-Sex Marriage, but recently things have become vehemently more volatile with attacking the trans community. Because we are all grouped together in this growing "letter system," many just place us in the same realm. We are all different and individuals and our stories can't be defined by one person. I've always seen "sexual orientation" as a term that causes divisiveness because it's not just about sex at all. I see it as who you have the born capacity to fall in love with. Lastly, I find it discouraging that who we have the capacity to love (or gender identity with trans) is a political issue at all.
I would love to do a part two, I’ve been thinking about it a lot! And I will be taking feedback from the comments on this video to implement in part two. Thank you for sharing some of your story and for your feedback! Hopefully I can start on part two asap!!
@@Coda24_24 I'm a paraplegic pansexual Muslim with three moms and and a trans baby brother. My uncle is gay but dates body positive black albino downsyndrome Trans women.
💥💥💯😊 I hope this story inspires people: I'm a straight Hispanic female raised by a very religious Catholic mom. 6 years ago at an old job, I met a cool chick named Lara who was being bullied by both men and women at the job. FYI its very well known liquor distributor company in the state of Washington where I currently live. Since I was newly employed I had no idea what was going on. She and I got along great and she was an excellent trainer, hard worker, very professional, never disrespected anyone. Soon after I started, the bullies aka mean girls squad pulled me aside to tell me Lara was a man. I told them I just moved to the state from Los Angeles and nothing surprises me... little did they know I had gay friends in Cali and hung out with them in West Hollywood and I support the LGBTQ community. The bullying got so bad I intervened and cussed out everyone for allowing it and majority stopped...anywho, Lara ended up finding another job out of state with JP Morgan Chase Bank as they offer medical coverage for transitioning surgeries and meds. Job paid better. Go Lara! Lara needed a place to stay for 3 weeks while she prepared for the move and needed to give up her apartment. I live with my mom, who is elderly and grew up old school and catholic.. I take care of mom and am head of household. Told mom I was gonna be helping out a friend and she will stay with us for a few weeks. Didn't tell mom Lara was trans. Lara and mom hit it off. So on her 1st week here Lara and I sat my mom down and I asked her to listen to Lara's story on how she came to be trans. Mom at first was in shock. Lara proceeds to tell her story and all the hurt and pain she has gone through and how her parents pretty much don't speak to her. At the end my mom was silent for a few moments, then she says in her thick spanglish accent "Sara you are soo pretty as a woman and God will always protect you because you are a good person." ...Sara and I legit teared up... I saw Sara's wall she had built up around her fall and she became comfortable and happy for once in her life she felt safe, and I felt so good that my home provided her with some relief, safety and a bit of joy even if it was only for 3 weeks....on her last day here, mom and I were sad to see her go but we knew she would be ok. Mom learned that the church can be too harsh and realized LGBTQ community deserves support. I learned that I was lucky to have a mom who was supportive and understanding and I hope more parents out there don't abandon their children no matter what age they are for choosing a lifestyle that makes them happy. There are too many good LGBTQ adults and teens committing suicide, or severely depressed and have social anxiety because society can't accept them for who they are...just remember this, if we all cut our finger we all bleed the same color. There's not too many differences in humans, we love and hurt the same.
That’s very beautiful for a catholic mom to come to that place of grace and love within their religion. Some churches can make it so pathological, and they demonize trans and gay people so much. Acceptance and grace reduces the suicide and social anxiety of lgbt people, and I hope to see more acceptance within society. Religious people must understand people are not converted to be trans or gay when queer people simply exist as they are. Nature is queer, and we do not pose a threat to family or life, and we are a beautiful part of families who accept us. Sexuality can be complex, but that is ok, and it does not mean people cannot be monogamous and straight. It does not negate the validity of families who live that way. Queer parents can raise wonderful children, and it is even better when they have their parents, siblings and extended family creating supportive and loving communities for everyone to be accepted and loved. I hope we all keep the dream alive of expanding compassion and grace to all people, and whether or not god is exists, I hope we find the ways to embody divine love for all living things 🌙💛 Edit: yes your post was inspiring to me, a wonderful story of an ally being there for someone, thank you! I hope my reply inspires you too and gives you courage and strength to stand up for queer people who need support and help.
As a lesbian I thunk gay men have it pretty hard. A lot of straight men invalidate lesbian sexuality and don’t see woman as a threat. A lot of straight men do see gay man as a threat and will go out of their way to harm them. Not all of course but my gay friend has been through a lot of crap for simply existing and I have not.
In regards to the perception that Bisexual people have it “easier” than other queer ppl, there should be a discussion of the intensity of Bi erasure (“oh you’re just gay”) and assumptions/slut shaming (“you’re just a slut”). Pervasive bigoted attitudes that only Bi ppl face.
i think coming out as something is important to some people just because they want to be able to celebrate themselves after having a hard time accepting themselves or being accepted, especially by family. it’s a celebration of finally being able to be themselves. i think people who are accepted right away might not care about coming out but just because they were accepted since the beginning.
Another point I’d love to bring up and talk about is why does most of the community I’ve met or known laugh at me or tell me I’m a bottom, which it’s none of anyone’s business about what I do privately, and show hate towards masculine gay men who only are attracted to other masculine gay men. It feels like people are just like a gay male couple is a feminine gay man and a masculine gay man, which isn’t the case and isn’t fair.
I'm similar to Ari in a way, but instead of being bisexual, I'm only attracted to femininity. When I say that I don't feel included, I feel wrong because somebody like me has never been normalised, which in turn makes me feel disconnected.
Loved this take on the “all think the same” type of videos and getting to see so many different perspectives within a group that is at times grouped together to the point where diversity within it is often overlooked. A++
18:30 love her for bringing that up. i hate the notion that everyone is a little "gay" or lgbt. no they aren't. there are many people in this world who are just straight, full stop. there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. i don't get why people demonize straight people, genuinely who cares
I absolutely love this video. I love seeing everyone’s perspective and everyone expressing their truth and telling their stories. I hope anyone watching this can connect or feel seen or heard. I’m very glad there was the discussion on coming out because I agree in a perfect world there should be no reason to come out because everyone should just be accepted for who they are and no one should care if you’re “different”. (“Different” from cis-straight people when really it’s just cis-straight people who think cis-straight people are what’s considered “normal” 🙄) People don’t have to come out as straight, so no one has an obligation to come out as not straight; it’s their story to tell if they want to, on their own time. I don’t think anyone should feel bad about coming out or not coming out. There are so many people that are not straight that it shouldn’t HAVE to be a big thing because everyone shouldn’t assume that everyone is straight. That being said, you deserve to be celebrated and loved! Be you, accept you, love who you are, accept those that love you for you, accept that there are people who don’t accept you and release them from your life, and most importantly stay safe. Chosen family is always there for you and I truly hope everyone can find a safe space with those that love and support them. I’m so sorry there is so much hatred, bigotry, disrespect, and ignorance in the world that may limit happiness, experiences, opportunities, safety, or livelihood. The f*cking audacity of people who believe/act that way or project that into the world disgusts me to say the very least… (I won’t get into that rant because I want this to be positive). I hope this helps open discussion more, open eyes, and gets more people to fight for equal rights for everyone. Every single person under the queer umbrella is valid and deserves the exact same rights as anyone else. Visibility is so important. Thank you. ❤️🩷🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🖤🩶🤍🤎
The answers to the first question blew my mind, honestly. Gay men's history around the world is the most bloody and systematically violent out of all of the rainbow people. From firing squads, street executions in the middle east, forced castration, imprisonment, false accusations of child abuse by the US police during the great depression, cruising stings, sodomy laws going back to the middle ages -- the list goes on. Gay men being more visible has more to do with straight peoples prejudices against them and gay men's sexuality being less able to hide and more stigmatized than any sort of "privilege". A lot of this stuff still goes on and there is still a ton of prejudice against gay men in north America and, according to the FBI hate crime stats, gay men experience the largest number of anti lgbt hate crimes. Gay bars being more of a thing has to do with the demand for them and gay men's willingness to patron them. A lot of lesbian bars have been pressured to change to queer bars or something more inclusive. A lot of gay male "representation" isn't even written by gay men, but by women and play into straight fantasies about gay men -- RWRB, Heartstopper, Love Simon, Brokeback Mountain -- all written by women/afab nbs. If you want real gay rep you need to look to independent film.
In the history you’re right but in the present moment everyone is prejudiced ok but if you’re bi “you have to decide”, if you’re trans well all the anti-trans laws and if you’re anything else “you’re confusing” and get no representation. If you’re gay cis man you get the cis and man privilege, not that you’re not prejudiced it’s just that it’s more understood. My dad would say that lesbians get it easier because women are less attacked for being gay but I think there’s still this idea of faking to be lesbian, you’re just trying it out, you’re confused as a woman
The statement was “coming out SHOULDNT be such a big deal” everyone took it differently except for the guy on strongly agree. It’s about what they wish not the reality. That annoyed me but I got their points but like that wasn’t the statement
If all straight people are a little gay then wouldn’t that mean that all gay people are a little straight….? And if sexuality is a spectrum, would that mean that on one pole is 100% straight and on the other pole is 100% gay?
It is a spectrum and most people are likely actually some degree of bi/pansexual, but much of society likes everything to be black or white, one box or the other. I actually hear that more from gay men than I do straight people.
whilst i do believe that sexuality is a spectrum i don't think everyone, gay or straight necessarily falls 'along' that spectrum. There are gay men like me who are gay because i am only attracted to men and straight people who have absolutely no interest at all in experimenting with gay stuff. It drives me and straight friends mad that there is this thing that 'everyone is a little bit this or that'. If you are along the spectrum then surely you're bi or pan or whatever?? if you've no interest in that spectrum you are gay or straight period. its part of the reason there is some push back by straight people against the alphabet that they're forever being told that they're bigoted for not wanting to 'try' or 'experiment' or having gay men especially pushing it with straight guys. I accept there may be an 'age' thing to this opinion as i am older and did fight and do the marches to gain the rights that we have and know how it was when it was illegal to be gay, or illegal to consent before being 21, or not being able to marry and the discrimination and hate we faced around us.
I would say we all think the same on "every human is individual and unique, don't assume or pass judgement on people" Because clearly most answered these questions from a place of, well it's different for everyone. And that's what we're trying to get people to understand. Everyone is different. 🙏
79 here and wow! Think about it. The "time or decade or generation" makes a huge difference. That being said, I am so glad I found Brian and all his amazing people. I wish I could live forever, most of the time. lol.
I liked the video before watching it cause I knew it would be an important and wholesome one. Thanks Brian and everyone else who was part of it! I looooved it! ❣
i've never heard anyone describe sharing my story as a sacrifice, and hearing that really helps me feel better about being able to share it. because it makes the turmoil and difficulty of being open about it feel seen and validated. it's something so personal and core and fragile, and sharing it with people who might have a terrible response, utterly reject me as a human, or reject the thing i love the most about myself, or even become violent (even if violence is a small chance it's always in my mind) ... it's really scary. And we don't always hear people honor that.
I kind of agree with the whole idea that coming out shouldn't be a big deal. Personally, my sexuality is private and its really nobody's business. I don't owe anyone an explanation.
I'm a straight demisexual transman and personally I think my coming out should not have been a big deal and think my dad should have been supportive. I feel us transmen have it the hardest as a whole because we barely get recognized as part of the community
The 'Community' hasn't really supported Trans folks at all. There has been talk about it...ya, you support us with this ____ and we'll support you. That reciprocation still hasn't really shown up and this has been going on since the 80's. The Trans Community has had to do all of it's own fundraising, it's own political advocating, it's own legal work. The money and physical support...never showed up. Oh, but the Trans folks got to have a huge flag one year in the LA Pride parade...ya, that makes up for all of the rest...not. Honestly the LGBTQ+ Community is really just for and about the gays and lesbians.
When I come out to people as trans, they often shrug and say "okay, that's fine with me." and I am like, "man, coming out is like a huge deal for me, don't just shrug it off"
I also appreciate Ari’s and Jonny’s perspective representing bisexuality and pansexuality AND Alex’s perspective and visibility to those communities. Bisexuality in itself is just a can of worms because, does that mean “men and women” only? Does that mean “my gender and all others”? If not then should you identify as pansexual? The definition is different to everyone. For me, a cisgender woman, it gets hard because I identify more with pansexuality than bisexual because I’m not JUST attracted to cisgender men and women. I’m attracted to cisgender men and women, transgender men and women and non-binary people. Mainly I’m just attracted to a person who I connect with regardless of gender; I see people as people. But at the same time not many people know about pansexuality because bisexuality is a more common/accepted term so it becomes easier to just say I’m bisexual. I also feel bad and guilty that I don’t always take the time to educate people on pansexuality but at the same time, it gets tiring. The response is so varied as well… Sometimes I just feel like an ally as opposed to part of the LGBTQ+ community because of what I’ve experienced in the past. Alex put it perfectly that “you’re gay, you’re just not saying it”. There is some backlash from all sides (both straight and LGBTQ+) that give off “you’re not bisexual, you’re straight and experimenting/bi-curious” “it’s a phase” “you just want attention” “baby gay” “not really gay” or “you’re just gay” AS IF it’s impossible for people to believe that I can be attracted to all genders. It’s a weird limbo of not being taken seriously. Of COURSE there are people that do accept that I am bi/pan and see it as completely valid but I find it less often when those comments mentioned above are very loud so again I really appreciate this discussion. I am extremely grateful that my mom and gramma have always been accepting and supportive and I feel extremely blessed for that because I know that it’s not common for family to support who you are, who you love, or how you identify. I hope everyone can find chosen family to love them and accept them and feel safe with. Thank you to anyone who reads my rant on my experience, and thank you Brian and everyone in this video that made me feel comfortable enough to express my thoughts and share my experience. 🩷
No one should have to come out. Like, if my daughter came to me and asked if their girlfriend could take her out, my response would be the same as if she asked if her boyfriend could take her out. Why does it have to be such a big deal. I’m a 42 yo hetero btw.
That's how it should be, but some people are just too interested in other people's relationships. As long as it's all consensual, who is in a relationship and what they do within it shouldn't matter to anyone else but those who are a part of it.
i would've loved to see some ace/aro represantation but alas... I get that we can't include too many people to still have a productive conversation but as an aro person it still kind of hurts because we're already so underrepresented and i feel like we have such a different experience than a lot of other LGBTQ+ people so we could really provide a unique perspective
I’m asexual and Demiromantic and I’ve never felt understood even when people talk about LGBTQ+ Sex is always brought up in these kinds of videos and everyone included loves the topic so I never feel represented
@@jada9284 That's sad. Very true but also very sad. I feel the same honestly. I'm very new to the community but I still feel like I'm kinda alone in how I feel about relationships and nobody really understands, or is trying to
6:50 The question was "shouldn't" so "the world isn't like that" and "i wish" are invalid objections as the question specificly asked how in their opinion should be
I’m gay and from the past 7 years I saw the lgbt became something completely different, sometimes behaving like the people we fought against it in the 80s and 90s so no ,a lot of us are so different that I wonder if is not time for us to separate sexuality and gender ideology because they no only have nothing in common but one now is trying to invalidate the other and we can’t just attack one not expecting the other to react and defend themselves and if both belong to the same group it doesn’t help the cause of none because all straight people see is a community that attacks everyone constantly and is cannibalizing itself from within
I would just like to say for the first question--there are more specifically targeting gay men in the world than any other person in the LGBT+ umbrella. Truly. In many countries the anti-LGBT laws only mention same sex relations between men, which indirectly allows other members in the community to not be imprisoned or to more easily get away with engaging in same-sex relations. They are right that cis-gender gay men have more representation and are more visible, but that comes at a cost to them being the target of most anti-LGBT hate. Moreover, gay men are perceived to threaten the dominating patriachal culture of this world and therefore are often penalized much more. This does not mean that other members of the LGBT+ community don't suffer, but if you look at the global legal landscape, gay men do have it harder.
26:06 "I'm able to stand over here for things that I did nothing to earn. I feel like I'm so grateful to have been born male, presenting white. To the parents that I was born with, like, I'm-I'm so lucky to be happy with who I am and, like, to have all of these luxurious afforded to me, and like, being in a room with all of you guys is humbling and-and so fulfilling because, like, I'm reminded that, like, being over here and feeling happy, uh, with who I am is-is such a, like a luxury that is not afforded to everybody. So thank you guys for sharing your stuff." 🫥...🦗 He tried SO hard to disguise that he felt better than everyone else. Everything he said in that moment was off-putting to me. It was like... backhanded compliment after backhanded compliment. It's a shame too, because I liked him before he said all that. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being a White male and having good parents. It's the way he made it sound like, "SuCkS tO bE yALl. I'm PeRfEcT. 🤪"
So proud Brian! I do think you should push further and discuss the potential discrimination or divide within the community. I’m personally a cis gender female but my female lesbian friends don’t get the same “love” as my male gay friends and that just scratches the surface. This is challenging to do but I think you would be able to communicate a lot clearly and I think the conversation needs to happen. Community vs community hatred never prevails. Specially when you’re fighting for the same outcome! 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
3:14 I agree with Jonny. Privilege-wise and representative-wise, cis wyt gay men have more representation and privilege. But it doesn't mean they have it easier overall. They can still struggle, they can still have hardships and be discriminated against. Hard to define "easier."
So they don't have it easier... and they failed to mention more representation is not good representation. It's just more opportunity for being misrepresented and hated
yeah what a bizarre point from the bi guys - how is having 'media' stuff remotely anything to do with 'having it easier'? Those men arent persecuted/ mocked for their 'straight' sides - just their gay. Also cis men have it easier? Lol bi women have it the easiest in the LGBT community. What a joke, feels like they were just reeling off buzzwords @@mojochay
Wouldn't lesbians be the most represented? You can't even tell if they are lesbian or not from every cover, movie, song, outing in public two girls holding hands laughing, touching, or even kissing isn't even different in today's standard. Everyone just accepts it. Their is no lesbian bars because they are accepted anywhere they go. If guy men try showing their sexual orientation towards other men at a normal bar or club, they may get beat up, unlike lesbians.
As a lesbian woman I do not feel represented in the pride movement at all. I mean, at least in Brazil, we are at the very bottom of the pyramid. We don't have the space in the pride parade, we don't have the space in televesion, moves, tv shows and series... in music we have more space than gay men because no one suffer as a lesbian woman ahahhahaah we are dramatic af ! But I really don't feel represented in the pride movement.
@2:45 the idea that there are separate bars for gay men and lesbians seems to be a North American thing to me. At least, I never encountered it until I visited the US & Canada. In the UK, we still call them "gay bars", but it really means "queer friendly" and there's often as many women as men. The North American ones I've been to had a whole different feel, not helped by gogo boys which give them a whole seedy strip club vibe.
gay bars tend to be more populated by gay men due to there being more gay men than gay women, and they’re therefore usually more gay man centric (though there’s a ton of others too). even in the UK, there’s actually a separate lesbian bar in london (one of the very very few around the world), and there’s an unofficial bar that caters more towards lesbians in dublin as well. it’s not a requirement that you have to be a gay man to be at a gay bar or anything, it’s just a matter of how many humans of each category exist, and the separate lesbian-centric bars make it easier for women to meet other women.
@@ss-cp2uy true, though there's usually a lot of hetero women in British gay bars too (enough that some people complain about it). American ones had quite a different vibe, but then you also have to be 21 over there, not 18. London tends to have a wider scope of venues than the rest of the country. I didn't know they had a lesbian bar, but it figures. It's the only place in the UK I know of that still has sex-oriented gay bars, which naturally don't attract women because of what the men are up to in the back rooms. And yes, you certainly can't discriminate as to who gets in, just as we wouldn't want gay people banned from other bars by homophobes. How on earth would you tell who is and who isn't anyway?
Hi Brian, this got me emotional too. I’ve just signed up for Pride counselling, I’m in New Zealand so hopefully the time zone different isn’t too much of an issue! The fact that I decided to watch this video and the choice of sponsor is serendipitous for me right now. I’m in a dark place
When ur in LA , u have like everything. And you’ll be ok in the LGBT community there. Being in calafornia, the real struggle is affording a place to live
10:30 I think if there had been an ace person in the lineup they would also have joined the bisexual person on the side of not feeling included in the pride movement. Both Bi spectrum people and Ace spectrum people tend to be seen either as "more straight" or "less gay" by other people in the comunity, or they'll think we're making excuses to cheat or not fully comit to a relationship and other things It's very painful sometimes honestly. Feeling like a bullied minority even inside of the minority that is the LGBT comunity
Definitely some deep conversation here and im straight. Glad I been watching these. Knowledge is power🙌 Side note: Lilah is a very attractive woman. Would be cool to get know her a little more😊
14:55 Animals definitely do see and know- a rescue dog terrified of males doesn't care how you dress or what letter you are, it won't change their fear. Also-pls blindfold people, it's a pointless exercise if we're not getting authentic opinions and they are following the crowd.
It feels like coming out should be about as big a deal as declaring your favorite color. It's tragic that the world exists in such a way that coming out has to be a big deal in order to act as a part of the healing process from the hardships that growing up with expectations creates.
Hmm, I have to disagree a bit with the idea that cis gay men have it easier (fine, I'm biased, but hear me out). Comparatively, especially now, trans people are having it the toughest of all of us which is why we need to support them as much as we can, BUT if we focus only on GAY people, historically, and based on laws, cis gay men have been targeted more, BECAUSE of toxic masculinity, which sees two men together as "renouncing masculinity" which is a no-no in a male heteronormative society. Many countries that made homosexuality illegal often made it illegal only between two men, not between two women. There's definitely a fetishizing factor there (male gaze), which definitely matters, But people historically have tended to see two women as "more appealing, cleaner, more socially acceptable" than two men who are seen as "p*rverts, gross, disgusting". Do gay men have more visibility now? Absolutely. No question there. But this might be me talking as an older person who grew up in the '80s and '90s, media in those decades was full of lesbian characters (again, keeping in mind that fetishizing factor, so it wasn't the best visibility, but there was disability) while two men was so unacceptable even in the early 2000s Heath Ledger had to deal with a member of the press calling his appearance in Brokeback Mountain "disgusting". I don't mean to minimize our lesbian sisters' struggle, But I don't think it's fair to those generations that have been here since before most people that appear in this video to say men have had it easier, just because being a cis man is considered easier. That hasn't always been the case for gay men. And ignoring that puts us in danger of ignoring the struggles that trans people are going through right now. We've all had to struggle a different levels and at different times. If you want to know what it was historically, talk to older LGBTQ people, because on that first question I feel we were misrepresented. I say that very respectfully, and again, just from the perspective of a mid 40s Latino gay man. (Basically, I agree a lot with the Lesbian, Trans, Pan and Bi people in this vid. YOU GUYS RULE! The Queer kid exhudes Gen-Z privilege and disconnection from our history, not personally since I don't know hom, but just based on his answers. Also, front gay guy doesn't sound like he's answering honestly, he's just accomodating everyone else and answering what he thinks is acceptable to answer to the point it's annoying. Just my two cents)
I mean .... is it really though? Especially the more masc presenting ones... Which way more of us are than people want to admit. When you can blend in it def makes day to day life easier.
@@orionishi6737 Feel like you’re forgetting about the AIDS epidemic mate. And, you know, the fact that gay men are disproportionately punished, imprisoned and killed for their sexuality in countries where “homosexuality” isn’t legal. Also, the insane cost of starting a family if you don’t have a uterus.
@@orionishi6737being "seen" in 2023 is definitely not harder than the time gay people were literally dying of aids and we didn't speak about lgbt issues or have gay marriage.
Bi woman here! Yup, I don't feel represented at all by the Pride movement (in the UK). Moreso because I'm black and a woman tbh. The first time I went to Pride, I suffered racial comments and 'exoticisation' (white gay men touching me without consent and commenting on the colour of my skin). Now I prefer to go abroad for Pride, if I can, and seek out black/non-white events or at least take a black friend with me (my first Pride, I went there with white friends and was badly singled out). Plus on the lesbian side, it's really hard to find Sapphic spaces just for community-building. There's male-only clubs, etc. but I haven't found the same for queer women.
I’m androgyne and bi and unfortunately there are so many misconceptions about both and I’m glad that I have a great support system now but I didn’t always have it. Gaeie yt men definitely have the most power which needs to change
Coming out shouldn’t be such a big deal: disagree, coming out shouldn’t have to be such a big deal. Like, please please please I want that to be possible.
We do live in NYS but we live in BUFFALO so not the most liberal area. So we’ve had some different experiences. I wish I could come out and be on your show. Thought this was a really cool experiment ❤
I went to middle & high school with Alex actually, same class lol, & I’m pansexual. I can attest that the judgements, hate & invalidation for the lgbtq+ community in Santa Clarita is real unfortunately. Grateful I moved away from that area before finishing high school but definitely wish I talked to her back then to give her a safe space to be herself. I’m not friends with a single person I went to school with out there now being 22, I’d get if she isn’t either but glad she and everyone in this are around supportive people that make them feel comfortable enough to be themselves!💜
I read the second question like Ari did. I'm gay, and I don't think coming out SHOULD be a big deal, because in a perfect world no one should care if you're gay, or trans, or NB, or what have you. I can see and I understand where the others were coming from, but I fully understand Ari's viewpoint because that's how I heard the question. "Coming out SHOULDN'T be a big deal, but it unfortunately is."
Go to our sponsor pridecounseling.com/brianterada for 10% off your first month of therapy with Pride Counseling and get matched with a LGBTQ+ friendly therapist who will listen and help.
My only issue with Pride Counseling is that when I tried to use it, they could not find a single therapist in their system who is also transgender, like me. Which tells me they either
1. Aren't paying high enough
2. Aren't as accepting of a workplace environment as they should be
They are PRIDE counseling. I hope they have some trans therapists by now.
@BenSwagnerd Ya know ..... no one cares. If you wanna be discriminatory, don't voice it.
Now the logical conclusion is that no👏trans👏has👏gone👏through👏the👏process👏to👏be👏certified👏and👏on👏top👏of👏that👏applied👏to👏pride👏therapy👏
Which whyyyyy?
Me as a straight man think the host is hot asf 😂
I hope Lilah gets the discount as well … I mean … _seven hells_
Hi, I'm a 50 yo straight white male, married with two teen daughters, one of which came out recently. Have to say this was genuinely informative and joyful to watch, great work. I do have to push back a little on Ari though when he said straight men are the worst dressers, I have found in my.... Ah! who am I kidding.
I read this comment out loud to my friends because this is the exact impact I hope to have. Thank you for watching, and caring so much about learning more so you can love your daughter. Congrats on being a great dad !!
@@BrianTerada Thanks Brian, You just made my day.
Thanks Brian 😊 you just made me smile
hahahahahahaaha cute
Why is that?
So as a bisexual women I totally get the not feeling represented thing especially in film lol I did a report on it bc I’m a film major and it was super hard to find a film that had any representation of a bi character and the ones that did, represented bi people as cheaters bc it’s a stereotype that we cheat on our SO just because we are attracted to both genders… also lesbian women get less representation and are more sexualized :( I love this conversation and we should continue to bring the topic up!!
yeees this i did the same thing but for ace people and it's even worse, we barely see any representation outside of the gays and lesbians to give a good image in any kind of media, was so happy with "sex education" for showing an ace character
@@flops1792 The tragic story, you didn+t become a man, you are not male. you`re a female, who deprived herself from female hormone and poisoned herself with male hormone.
Lifelong medical patient.
The tragic story, you didn+t become a women, you are not female. you`re a male, who deprived himself from male hormone and poisoned himself with female hormone.
Lifelong medical patient.
Every sinner, including homosexuals (lgbtq+) are all called to REPENTANCE:
Luke 5:32 I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
Matthew 9:13
But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
Genesis 13:13
But the men of Sodom were wicked and sinners before the LORD exceedingly.
Romans 5:8
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Luke 13:5
I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.
Luke 13:3
I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.
You won´t be heard by GOD if you have not come to REPENTANCE:
John 9:31
Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth.
John 3:3
Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
John 3:7
Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.
Because of the lack of knowledge which you all also practice, therefore none of you truly know, what you are doing nor what you are supporting.
Luke 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
its called supply and demand darling
Just wanted to show a point here; men do get shown a lot on movies to atract female audiences. Gay content is also made for female straight audiences and is consumed a lot. Somehow, showing female half-nude and them getting stared is seen as violent, when most men wouldn't even think to hurt a woman. Being atracted isn't a sin.
personally all the bi women I know think if they have a dude or girl messing with the opposite of what they have is not cheating. that stereotype didn't come from no where
i agree with ari. as a bisexual woman, i do not feel represented. the lgbtq community can be horrible to bi people. they judge so much and can be rude. i’ve had people tell me i need to make up my mind and choose boys or girls and that’s annoying!
Then you do the representing. Don't leave it to the community. In your own small way you can make a difference
I’m Demisexual/Demiromantic. Ace folks have long felt excluded or invalidated by both the cishet & LGBTQ communities too.
I thought as understanding of nonbinary & gender-fluidity gained more understanding so too would bisexuality and asexuality, but it feels like the dial has barely moved.
@@katdenning6535 I noticed even here they didn't include an asexual person.
I’m sorry you don’t feel represented. However the vast majority of the lgbtq community is bisexual, on top of that bisexual women. Y’all need to put in the work too!
as a gay man i am ashamed to say that i was one of these people who disliked bi people..but the older i got the more i relised aceptance/love comes in all forms....
“Straight men dress awful.”
Honestly, tea.
Then why do gay guys fall for them?
It’s bc we’re whores, Kate
@@Kate-ve7zj not for their clothing lmao
really? gay men dress way too tight and too short. how is that any better?
I mean I'm gay, I get this as a joke but if we being real I prefer how some straight men dress compared to some gays. Although if we talking ratio wise, gay people probably dress more neat but not necessarily "better". I think my straight guy friends dress pretty good.
11:00 I’d be all the way to left. The community can be so cruel to bisexual people. I get that everyone has preferences, but the amount of times I’ve heard people completely rule out dating bi people is ridiculous. And it’s always people in our own community. It sucks.
i cannot, for the life of me, understand why someone wouldn't date a person because they're bi. i mean if they're into you, isn't that the only thing that matters??
@@SeydreyBecause they feel like they can't fully satisfy the other person. Also, being in a straight relationship is a lot easier so bisexual people tend to choose that over a gay one.
My only ex was bisexual and what bothered me was that I could’ve possibly been an experiment though he claimed to really like me. He again was also my only boyfriend, so this left an image of bisexual distaste with me. He was also younger by a few years so I guess there’s multiple variables.
@@xenondoro8573I'm not sure that's how it works though. Bisexual people aren't a monolith. We each think and navigate relationships differently
Gay men love Bisexual dudes....
It's the women they date who are usually more freaked out by that.
brain with ari and lilah is such a slay and im here for it
Would you be able to do one of these with Ace/Asexual people? I feel like it'd be such an interesting new dynamic to the conversation that doesn't often get discussed
I feel like half of them ain’t understanding the questions?? Lmao 😭💀
I know right.. Lol
@@JoshGarciaJGGhow
They don't inspire intellect.
I knew I wasn’t tripping they didn’t seem like they understood the questions at all to what they were saying
@@bichitomax reditor ass comment :skull, get a life who the fuck unironically sayd intellect 🤓, you sound like you'd get bullied, and i cant blame the bullies
Lilah is EVERYTHING like she NEEDS a reality tv all for her like OMG
Can we amplify smart and respectable voices who have something of substance to say - who are respectable and a n ideal representation? Lilah is funny but she’s a vulgar, simple-minded sugar baby and her train-wreck nights out with Tana are just … a lot. They leave a trail of devastation in their wake wherever they go.
she has a youtube channel for anyone who doesnt know!! its "Lilah Gibney" and shes iconic
@@josiebwitch i knowww but it’s NOT enough😩😩
I'm actually shocked that the first question didn't get anyone saying the fact that in countries where homosexuality is illegal, cisgender gay men are the main target with their life the most in danger. Such privilege to be able to think queer issues are limited to dating pools and representation.
As a bisexual, I get it sm about the representation thing. There’s nearly no bi characters in shows, they have to be straight or gay. I complain about it all the time
I have seen a few, but they always cheat
@@inkassosjefen6315 ugh that freaking sucks. i hate that stereotype so much
@@grossogretoesat least we have nick Nelson lol
@@GorillazGang23 who’s that?
@@grossogretoesheartstopper
Bisexual men are seriously the most chill human beings I've ever had the pleasure of calling a friend ❤️ they don't get the Rep they deserve, & they simply DGAF about it
Omg you look horrid, please don't do that again
I don’t know if this has to do with me being a bisexual man or not but I don’t and have never really cared for having a “coming out” and I wish I could do do my thing and not have to explain myself or even make a huge deal out of it
Ari being so real. “My life is easier than probably everyone’s” bc he’s a nepo baby. I love that’s he’s just so real abt it
wow is he??! who is his parents ??
@@kingseaton5736 idk who his parents are but his friends talk abt it all the time. He definitely acknowledged it before
It would be really nice to have some people who aren't all the same age.
I suffered from homophobia by bisexual boys😢 it felt so horrible. But I know that biphobia by gay guys exists,too.
It’s deff interesting to see that everyone literally has their own ways and up bringings. it’s amazing to see and show other people that everyone has similarities but also different (: it’s all love ❤
It’s all love baby! I loved getting see these different perspectives
im literally writing an essay for college rn about labeling sexuality and how we can feel confusion from the pressure of others putting a letter on us. The question of being represented in pride and the conversation you guys had about it made me feel so validated in my view on it.
@BrianTerada I would love to see a part 2. I'm a 43 year old lesbian in a 19 year monogamous relationship and neither of us has ever gone to a pride parade (and we live in Southern California.) We both grew up in conservative Christian households and still not accepted by our parents, but we both still believe in God and Jesus. Politically I feel like things were getting better after the passage of Same-Sex Marriage, but recently things have become vehemently more volatile with attacking the trans community. Because we are all grouped together in this growing "letter system," many just place us in the same realm. We are all different and individuals and our stories can't be defined by one person. I've always seen "sexual orientation" as a term that causes divisiveness because it's not just about sex at all. I see it as who you have the born capacity to fall in love with. Lastly, I find it discouraging that who we have the capacity to love (or gender identity with trans) is a political issue at all.
I would love to do a part two, I’ve been thinking about it a lot! And I will be taking feedback from the comments on this video to implement in part two. Thank you for sharing some of your story and for your feedback! Hopefully I can start on part two asap!!
@@BrianTerada That's awesome! I'll be looking out for it!
Thanks for sharing. I'm a conservative lesbian too and it's hard to meet others like me.
As a bisexual transman, I LOVE seeing content like this from you Brian, excited to see more! Very good important convos 😊
@@Yourlifeisyours2678 dude same
@@Coda24_24 I'm a paraplegic pansexual Muslim with three moms and and a trans baby brother. My uncle is gay but dates body positive black albino downsyndrome Trans women.
Yo same here, trans masc bi! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
@@innitbruv-lascocomics9910wow so funny im dying laughing, was transgender that big of a word for you?😢
💥💥💯😊 I hope this story inspires people: I'm a straight Hispanic female raised by a very religious Catholic mom. 6 years ago at an old job, I met a cool chick named Lara who was being bullied by both men and women at the job. FYI its very well known liquor distributor company in the state of Washington where I currently live. Since I was newly employed I had no idea what was going on. She and I got along great and she was an excellent trainer, hard worker, very professional, never disrespected anyone. Soon after I started, the bullies aka mean girls squad pulled me aside to tell me Lara was a man. I told them I just moved to the state from Los Angeles and nothing surprises me... little did they know I had gay friends in Cali and hung out with them in West Hollywood and I support the LGBTQ community. The bullying got so bad I intervened and cussed out everyone for allowing it and majority stopped...anywho, Lara ended up finding another job out of state with JP Morgan Chase Bank as they offer medical coverage for transitioning surgeries and meds. Job paid better. Go Lara!
Lara needed a place to stay for 3 weeks while she prepared for the move and needed to give up her apartment. I live with my mom, who is elderly and grew up old school and catholic.. I take care of mom and am head of household. Told mom I was gonna be helping out a friend and she will stay with us for a few weeks. Didn't tell mom Lara was trans. Lara and mom hit it off. So on her 1st week here Lara and I sat my mom down and I asked her to listen to Lara's story on how she came to be trans. Mom at first was in shock. Lara proceeds to tell her story and all the hurt and pain she has gone through and how her parents pretty much don't speak to her. At the end my mom was silent for a few moments, then she says in her thick spanglish accent "Sara you are soo pretty as a woman and God will always protect you because you are a good person." ...Sara and I legit teared up... I saw Sara's wall she had built up around her fall and she became comfortable and happy for once in her life she felt safe, and I felt so good that my home provided her with some relief, safety and a bit of joy even if it was only for 3 weeks....on her last day here, mom and I were sad to see her go but we knew she would be ok. Mom learned that the church can be too harsh and realized LGBTQ community deserves support. I learned that I was lucky to have a mom who was supportive and understanding and I hope more parents out there don't abandon their children no matter what age they are for choosing a lifestyle that makes them happy. There are too many good LGBTQ adults and teens committing suicide, or severely depressed and have social anxiety because society can't accept them for who they are...just remember this, if we all cut our finger we all bleed the same color. There's not too many differences in humans, we love and hurt the same.
Realized in 2nd paragraph that it says Sara instead of Lara....my text keyboard kept switching the Letters.....should all say Lara...
That’s very beautiful for a catholic mom to come to that place of grace and love within their religion. Some churches can make it so pathological, and they demonize trans and gay people so much. Acceptance and grace reduces the suicide and social anxiety of lgbt people, and I hope to see more acceptance within society. Religious people must understand people are not converted to be trans or gay when queer people simply exist as they are. Nature is queer, and we do not pose a threat to family or life, and we are a beautiful part of families who accept us. Sexuality can be complex, but that is ok, and it does not mean people cannot be monogamous and straight. It does not negate the validity of families who live that way. Queer parents can raise wonderful children, and it is even better when they have their parents, siblings and extended family creating supportive and loving communities for everyone to be accepted and loved. I hope we all keep the dream alive of expanding compassion and grace to all people, and whether or not god is exists, I hope we find the ways to embody divine love for all living things 🌙💛
Edit: yes your post was inspiring to me, a wonderful story of an ally being there for someone, thank you! I hope my reply inspires you too and gives you courage and strength to stand up for queer people who need support and help.
This story is awesome I’m hoping lara is doing okay !
I just cried fiercely. Not trans but of the community. This deserves to be a film ❤
respectfully i ain’t reading allat
As a lesbian I thunk gay men have it pretty hard. A lot of straight men invalidate lesbian sexuality and don’t see woman as a threat. A lot of straight men do see gay man as a threat and will go out of their way to harm them. Not all of course but my gay friend has been through a lot of crap for simply existing and I have not.
In regards to the perception that Bisexual people have it “easier” than other queer ppl, there should be a discussion of the intensity of Bi erasure (“oh you’re just gay”) and assumptions/slut shaming (“you’re just a slut”). Pervasive bigoted attitudes that only Bi ppl face.
fr, i feel like everyone in the community gets the slut shaming to different degrees for some reason
i think coming out as something is important to some people just because they want to be able to celebrate themselves after having a hard time accepting themselves or being accepted, especially by family. it’s a celebration of finally being able to be themselves. i think people who are accepted right away might not care about coming out but just because they were accepted since the beginning.
Another point I’d love to bring up and talk about is why does most of the community I’ve met or known laugh at me or tell me I’m a bottom, which it’s none of anyone’s business about what I do privately, and show hate towards masculine gay men who only are attracted to other masculine gay men. It feels like people are just like a gay male couple is a feminine gay man and a masculine gay man, which isn’t the case and isn’t fair.
I love this!! Please have more videos like this. It's great to hear other member's of our community talk about their perspectives on pride! 🌈
Thank you Jeremy!! I want to do this again so I appreciate the feedback!
I'm similar to Ari in a way, but instead of being bisexual, I'm only attracted to femininity. When I say that I don't feel included, I feel wrong because somebody like me has never been normalised, which in turn makes me feel disconnected.
So proud of you Brian!! Can’t wait to see what’s coming next!
Loved this take on the “all think the same” type of videos and getting to see so many different perspectives within a group that is at times grouped together to the point where diversity within it is often overlooked. A++
I hate these type of videos but forced myself to watch this one in particular. I’m thankful I did. I learned so much! This is a smart group of humans!
What a great video idea! Thanks Brian, a lot of people around the world needs videos like these! We stan.❤️
18:30 love her for bringing that up. i hate the notion that everyone is a little "gay" or lgbt. no they aren't. there are many people in this world who are just straight, full stop. there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. i don't get why people demonize straight people, genuinely who cares
agreed - people need to respect those who believe that sexuality is immutable and that not everyone feels the need to be 'on a spectrum'
I absolutely love this video. I love seeing everyone’s perspective and everyone expressing their truth and telling their stories. I hope anyone watching this can connect or feel seen or heard.
I’m very glad there was the discussion on coming out because I agree in a perfect world there should be no reason to come out because everyone should just be accepted for who they are and no one should care if you’re “different”. (“Different” from cis-straight people when really it’s just cis-straight people who think cis-straight people are what’s considered “normal” 🙄) People don’t have to come out as straight, so no one has an obligation to come out as not straight; it’s their story to tell if they want to, on their own time. I don’t think anyone should feel bad about coming out or not coming out. There are so many people that are not straight that it shouldn’t HAVE to be a big thing because everyone shouldn’t assume that everyone is straight. That being said, you deserve to be celebrated and loved!
Be you, accept you, love who you are, accept those that love you for you, accept that there are people who don’t accept you and release them from your life, and most importantly stay safe. Chosen family is always there for you and I truly hope everyone can find a safe space with those that love and support them.
I’m so sorry there is so much hatred, bigotry, disrespect, and ignorance in the world that may limit happiness, experiences, opportunities, safety, or livelihood. The f*cking audacity of people who believe/act that way or project that into the world disgusts me to say the very least… (I won’t get into that rant because I want this to be positive).
I hope this helps open discussion more, open eyes, and gets more people to fight for equal rights for everyone. Every single person under the queer umbrella is valid and deserves the exact same rights as anyone else. Visibility is so important. Thank you.
❤️🩷🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🖤🩶🤍🤎
The answers to the first question blew my mind, honestly. Gay men's history around the world is the most bloody and systematically violent out of all of the rainbow people. From firing squads, street executions in the middle east, forced castration, imprisonment, false accusations of child abuse by the US police during the great depression, cruising stings, sodomy laws going back to the middle ages -- the list goes on. Gay men being more visible has more to do with straight peoples prejudices against them and gay men's sexuality being less able to hide and more stigmatized than any sort of "privilege". A lot of this stuff still goes on and there is still a ton of prejudice against gay men in north America and, according to the FBI hate crime stats, gay men experience the largest number of anti lgbt hate crimes. Gay bars being more of a thing has to do with the demand for them and gay men's willingness to patron them. A lot of lesbian bars have been pressured to change to queer bars or something more inclusive. A lot of gay male "representation" isn't even written by gay men, but by women and play into straight fantasies about gay men -- RWRB, Heartstopper, Love Simon, Brokeback Mountain -- all written by women/afab nbs. If you want real gay rep you need to look to independent film.
In the history you’re right but in the present moment everyone is prejudiced ok but if you’re bi “you have to decide”, if you’re trans well all the anti-trans laws and if you’re anything else “you’re confusing” and get no representation. If you’re gay cis man you get the cis and man privilege, not that you’re not prejudiced it’s just that it’s more understood. My dad would say that lesbians get it easier because women are less attacked for being gay but I think there’s still this idea of faking to be lesbian, you’re just trying it out, you’re confused as a woman
Brian this was an amazing video. you also picked the PERFECT people for it. thank u
The statement was “coming out SHOULDNT be such a big deal” everyone took it differently except for the guy on strongly agree. It’s about what they wish not the reality. That annoyed me but I got their points but like that wasn’t the statement
Yeah me too
If all straight people are a little gay then wouldn’t that mean that all gay people are a little straight….? And if sexuality is a spectrum, would that mean that on one pole is 100% straight and on the other pole is 100% gay?
Yes... And gay people are forced to confront that and forced to "experiment" and find out where they fall on that spectrum.
It is a spectrum and most people are likely actually some degree of bi/pansexual, but much of society likes everything to be black or white, one box or the other. I actually hear that more from gay men than I do straight people.
whilst i do believe that sexuality is a spectrum i don't think everyone, gay or straight necessarily falls 'along' that spectrum. There are gay men like me who are gay because i am only attracted to men and straight people who have absolutely no interest at all in experimenting with gay stuff. It drives me and straight friends mad that there is this thing that 'everyone is a little bit this or that'. If you are along the spectrum then surely you're bi or pan or whatever?? if you've no interest in that spectrum you are gay or straight period.
its part of the reason there is some push back by straight people against the alphabet that they're forever being told that they're bigoted for not wanting to 'try' or 'experiment' or having gay men especially pushing it with straight guys.
I accept there may be an 'age' thing to this opinion as i am older and did fight and do the marches to gain the rights that we have and know how it was when it was illegal to be gay, or illegal to consent before being 21, or not being able to marry and the discrimination and hate we faced around us.
23:58 “I might have to switch my letter here soon…”
“- SAME. I’m BORED.”
Lilah is the perennial (ADHD) trans mood. I live
I feel like lesbians don’t get mentioned much
Yeah we never do. But bi women do. There's way more of them. I see it on the apps.
@@SP-mf9sh yea like I seen hips of bi people in tv shows and normally there’s 1 gay dude and 0 lesbians
We get mentioned but HEAVILY stereotyped 😓
As a trans woman I’m just like omgggg Lilah is goals afffff 😭❤️ I love her! Thank you for this video
Right? Absolute fucking #goals
I would say we all think the same on "every human is individual and unique, don't assume or pass judgement on people"
Because clearly most answered these questions from a place of, well it's different for everyone. And that's what we're trying to get people to understand. Everyone is different. 🙏
79 here and wow! Think about it. The "time or decade or generation" makes a huge difference. That being said, I am so glad I found Brian and all his amazing people. I wish I could live forever, most of the time. lol.
Lets go I am excited for this new era. I’m so proud of you Brian. I am a proud Brian Twitch mod.
I think have an African American gay man or woman would have added more to this convo.
There are 2 blacks. This is a very ethnically diverse group.
EXACTLY
@@lottalarsson4121”blacks” 💀
@@peachcorp0871 so people that prefer the concept of black forvthemselves are not allowed that, according to you.
@@lottalarsson4121 nah you just said blacks instead up black people… delulu
there should have been more women in this episode
Yeah. I was kinda suprised to only see 2 women.
So many categories he could have chosen women- bi, queen, pan, and yet chose men for all of them.
I was thinking the same
I liked the video before watching it cause I knew it would be an important and wholesome one. Thanks Brian and everyone else who was part of it! I looooved it! ❣
I can def relate to Alex with the first prompt as a lezbean I don't see many of us around. Unless we are all on the same dating pool
:/ 💔
i've never heard anyone describe sharing my story as a sacrifice, and hearing that really helps me feel better about being able to share it. because it makes the turmoil and difficulty of being open about it feel seen and validated. it's something so personal and core and fragile, and sharing it with people who might have a terrible response, utterly reject me as a human, or reject the thing i love the most about myself, or even become violent (even if violence is a small chance it's always in my mind) ... it's really scary. And we don't always hear people honor that.
I’m glad I’m a gay man who met my husband early so I haven’t had to worry about any of this stuff for almost 20 years lol
I kind of agree with the whole idea that coming out shouldn't be a big deal. Personally, my sexuality is private and its really nobody's business. I don't owe anyone an explanation.
trouble is so many people now do MAKE it a big deal.
LOVE THIS BRIAN!!
Congrats
I would love to see this again with at least 2 genders represented by black LGBTQ+ people. Maybe some Qween Jean or Big Freedia energy.
There's only 2 anyway
@tokofukawap4055 race and ethnicity are not always apparent by skin colour.
Wait lol they meant only two genders 😂😂
There are 2 black people. This was a very diverse group ethnically.
I'm a straight demisexual transman and personally I think my coming out should not have been a big deal and think my dad should have been supportive. I feel us transmen have it the hardest as a whole because we barely get recognized as part of the community
The 'Community' hasn't really supported Trans folks at all. There has been talk about it...ya, you support us with this ____ and we'll support you. That reciprocation still hasn't really shown up and this has been going on since the 80's. The Trans Community has had to do all of it's own fundraising, it's own political advocating, it's own legal work. The money and physical support...never showed up. Oh, but the Trans folks got to have a huge flag one year in the LA Pride parade...ya, that makes up for all of the rest...not. Honestly the LGBTQ+ Community is really just for and about the gays and lesbians.
When I come out to people as trans, they often shrug and say "okay, that's fine with me." and I am like, "man, coming out is like a huge deal for me, don't just shrug it off"
It shouldn't be a big deal for people you just meet, for people in your inner circle it should be a big one
like, in a positive way
I loved the video!! It was so informative and entertaining!!
I also appreciate Ari’s and Jonny’s perspective representing bisexuality and pansexuality AND Alex’s perspective and visibility to those communities. Bisexuality in itself is just a can of worms because, does that mean “men and women” only? Does that mean “my gender and all others”? If not then should you identify as pansexual? The definition is different to everyone. For me, a cisgender woman, it gets hard because I identify more with pansexuality than bisexual because I’m not JUST attracted to cisgender men and women. I’m attracted to cisgender men and women, transgender men and women and non-binary people. Mainly I’m just attracted to a person who I connect with regardless of gender; I see people as people. But at the same time not many people know about pansexuality because bisexuality is a more common/accepted term so it becomes easier to just say I’m bisexual. I also feel bad and guilty that I don’t always take the time to educate people on pansexuality but at the same time, it gets tiring. The response is so varied as well… Sometimes I just feel like an ally as opposed to part of the LGBTQ+ community because of what I’ve experienced in the past. Alex put it perfectly that “you’re gay, you’re just not saying it”. There is some backlash from all sides (both straight and LGBTQ+) that give off “you’re not bisexual, you’re straight and experimenting/bi-curious” “it’s a phase” “you just want attention” “baby gay” “not really gay” or “you’re just gay” AS IF it’s impossible for people to believe that I can be attracted to all genders. It’s a weird limbo of not being taken seriously. Of COURSE there are people that do accept that I am bi/pan and see it as completely valid but I find it less often when those comments mentioned above are very loud so again I really appreciate this discussion. I am extremely grateful that my mom and gramma have always been accepting and supportive and I feel extremely blessed for that because I know that it’s not common for family to support who you are, who you love, or how you identify. I hope everyone can find chosen family to love them and accept them and feel safe with.
Thank you to anyone who reads my rant on my experience, and thank you Brian and everyone in this video that made me feel comfortable enough to express my thoughts and share my experience. 🩷
bisexual manifesto said being bi is more than liking just women and men, . Everyrhing that walks
@@bendemare5270 doesn't matter. In reality it's not like that so pan label is very needed
No one should have to come out. Like, if my daughter came to me and asked if their girlfriend could take her out, my response would be the same as if she asked if her boyfriend could take her out. Why does it have to be such a big deal. I’m a 42 yo hetero btw.
Well congrats, that just means you're a good mom... ❤
That's how it should be, but some people are just too interested in other people's relationships. As long as it's all consensual, who is in a relationship and what they do within it shouldn't matter to anyone else but those who are a part of it.
That's beautiful ❤❤❤
Everybody was so well spoken and kind. Loved the vibe ❤
i would've loved to see some ace/aro represantation but alas... I get that we can't include too many people to still have a productive conversation but as an aro person it still kind of hurts because we're already so underrepresented
and i feel like we have such a different experience than a lot of other LGBTQ+ people so we could really provide a unique perspective
I’m asexual and Demiromantic and I’ve never felt understood even when people talk about LGBTQ+
Sex is always brought up in these kinds of videos and everyone included loves the topic so I never feel represented
@@jada9284 That's sad. Very true but also very sad.
I feel the same honestly. I'm very new to the community but I still feel like I'm kinda alone in how I feel about relationships and nobody really understands, or is trying to
This group is just so lovely! I really enjoy their dynamic and openness.
6:50 The question was "shouldn't" so "the world isn't like that" and "i wish" are invalid objections as the question specificly asked how in their opinion should be
I’m gay and from the past 7 years I saw the lgbt became something completely different, sometimes behaving like the people we fought against it in the 80s and 90s so no ,a lot of us are so different that I wonder if is not time for us to separate sexuality and gender ideology because they no only have nothing in common but one now is trying to invalidate the other and we can’t just attack one not expecting the other to react and defend themselves and if both belong to the same group it doesn’t help the cause of none because all straight people see is a community that attacks everyone constantly and is cannibalizing itself from within
THIS
Wow. LGBTQ is the strongest person on earth. Happy Pride Month. Love always wins
In terms of bisexuality and labels, this is why the Kinsey Scale was invented. I feel like queer people need to look into that more
I would just like to say for the first question--there are more specifically targeting gay men in the world than any other person in the LGBT+ umbrella. Truly. In many countries the anti-LGBT laws only mention same sex relations between men, which indirectly allows other members in the community to not be imprisoned or to more easily get away with engaging in same-sex relations. They are right that cis-gender gay men have more representation and are more visible, but that comes at a cost to them being the target of most anti-LGBT hate. Moreover, gay men are perceived to threaten the dominating patriachal culture of this world and therefore are often penalized much more. This does not mean that other members of the LGBT+ community don't suffer, but if you look at the global legal landscape, gay men do have it harder.
How does she get her head so smooth, there is not even stubble.
It’s a medical condition called Alopecia
Love this and the people you chose to be apart of the vid 😍🫶🏼❤️
I really don't get how "being white" is a "luxury" that was afforded to him. 26:24
26:06 "I'm able to stand over here for things that I did nothing to earn. I feel like I'm so grateful to have been born male, presenting white. To the parents that I was born with, like, I'm-I'm so lucky to be happy with who I am and, like, to have all of these luxurious afforded to me, and like, being in a room with all of you guys is humbling and-and so fulfilling because, like, I'm reminded that, like, being over here and feeling happy, uh, with who I am is-is such a, like a luxury that is not afforded to everybody. So thank you guys for sharing your stuff." 🫥...🦗
He tried SO hard to disguise that he felt better than everyone else. Everything he said in that moment was off-putting to me. It was like... backhanded compliment after backhanded compliment. It's a shame too, because I liked him before he said all that. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being a White male and having good parents. It's the way he made it sound like, "SuCkS tO bE yALl. I'm PeRfEcT. 🤪"
So proud Brian! I do think you should push further and discuss the potential discrimination or divide within the community. I’m personally a cis gender female but my female lesbian friends don’t get the same “love” as my male gay friends and that just scratches the surface. This is challenging to do but I think you would be able to communicate a lot clearly and I think the conversation needs to happen. Community vs community hatred never prevails. Specially when you’re fighting for the same outcome! 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
I agree, I feel like gay men are celebrated, while lesbians are invisible or looked down on.
Great video!! I can’t wait to watch it all when I get off work!!
3:14 I agree with Jonny. Privilege-wise and representative-wise, cis wyt gay men have more representation and privilege. But it doesn't mean they have it easier overall. They can still struggle, they can still have hardships and be discriminated against. Hard to define "easier."
So they don't have it easier... and they failed to mention more representation is not good representation. It's just more opportunity for being misrepresented and hated
yeah what a bizarre point from the bi guys - how is having 'media' stuff remotely anything to do with 'having it easier'? Those men arent persecuted/ mocked for their 'straight' sides - just their gay. Also cis men have it easier? Lol bi women have it the easiest in the LGBT community. What a joke, feels like they were just reeling off buzzwords
@@mojochay
Wouldn't lesbians be the most represented? You can't even tell if they are lesbian or not from every cover, movie, song, outing in public two girls holding hands laughing, touching, or even kissing isn't even different in today's standard. Everyone just accepts it. Their is no lesbian bars because they are accepted anywhere they go. If guy men try showing their sexual orientation towards other men at a normal bar or club, they may get beat up, unlike lesbians.
They own Hollywood and write more stories.
I think bisexual women have it the easiest
I'm a gay man, I'm proud to be a gay man. This video gives me a migraine though
Lol the first question 🤢
Ong 😭
As a lesbian woman I do not feel represented in the pride movement at all. I mean, at least in Brazil, we are at the very bottom of the pyramid. We don't have the space in the pride parade, we don't have the space in televesion, moves, tv shows and series... in music we have more space than gay men because no one suffer as a lesbian woman ahahhahaah we are dramatic af ! But I really don't feel represented in the pride movement.
@2:45 the idea that there are separate bars for gay men and lesbians seems to be a North American thing to me. At least, I never encountered it until I visited the US & Canada. In the UK, we still call them "gay bars", but it really means "queer friendly" and there's often as many women as men. The North American ones I've been to had a whole different feel, not helped by gogo boys which give them a whole seedy strip club vibe.
gay bars tend to be more populated by gay men due to there being more gay men than gay women, and they’re therefore usually more gay man centric (though there’s a ton of others too). even in the UK, there’s actually a separate lesbian bar in london (one of the very very few around the world), and there’s an unofficial bar that caters more towards lesbians in dublin as well. it’s not a requirement that you have to be a gay man to be at a gay bar or anything, it’s just a matter of how many humans of each category exist, and the separate lesbian-centric bars make it easier for women to meet other women.
@@ss-cp2uy true, though there's usually a lot of hetero women in British gay bars too (enough that some people complain about it). American ones had quite a different vibe, but then you also have to be 21 over there, not 18.
London tends to have a wider scope of venues than the rest of the country. I didn't know they had a lesbian bar, but it figures. It's the only place in the UK I know of that still has sex-oriented gay bars, which naturally don't attract women because of what the men are up to in the back rooms.
And yes, you certainly can't discriminate as to who gets in, just as we wouldn't want gay people banned from other bars by homophobes. How on earth would you tell who is and who isn't anyway?
Hi Brian, this got me emotional too. I’ve just signed up for Pride counselling, I’m in New Zealand so hopefully the time zone different isn’t too much of an issue! The fact that I decided to watch this video and the choice of sponsor is serendipitous for me right now. I’m in a dark place
When ur in LA , u have like everything. And you’ll be ok in the LGBT community there. Being in calafornia, the real struggle is affording a place to live
This was beautiful, thank you for sharing 🤍
10:30 I think if there had been an ace person in the lineup they would also have joined the bisexual person on the side of not feeling included in the pride movement.
Both Bi spectrum people and Ace spectrum people tend to be seen either as "more straight" or "less gay" by other people in the comunity, or they'll think we're making excuses to cheat or not fully comit to a relationship and other things
It's very painful sometimes honestly. Feeling like a bullied minority even inside of the minority that is the LGBT comunity
Definitely some deep conversation here and im straight. Glad I been watching these. Knowledge is power🙌
Side note: Lilah is a very attractive woman. Would be cool to get know her a little more😊
14:55 Animals definitely do see and know- a rescue dog terrified of males doesn't care how you dress or what letter you are, it won't change their fear.
Also-pls blindfold people, it's a pointless exercise if we're not getting authentic opinions and they are following the crowd.
I’ll say all the people talking in this video are so intelligent and thoughtful for their insights and perspectives 😭😭😭💗💗💗
It feels like coming out should be about as big a deal as declaring your favorite color. It's tragic that the world exists in such a way that coming out has to be a big deal in order to act as a part of the healing process from the hardships that growing up with expectations creates.
Hmm, I have to disagree a bit with the idea that cis gay men have it easier (fine, I'm biased, but hear me out). Comparatively, especially now, trans people are having it the toughest of all of us which is why we need to support them as much as we can, BUT if we focus only on GAY people, historically, and based on laws, cis gay men have been targeted more, BECAUSE of toxic masculinity, which sees two men together as "renouncing masculinity" which is a no-no in a male heteronormative society. Many countries that made homosexuality illegal often made it illegal only between two men, not between two women. There's definitely a fetishizing factor there (male gaze), which definitely matters, But people historically have tended to see two women as "more appealing, cleaner, more socially acceptable" than two men who are seen as "p*rverts, gross, disgusting".
Do gay men have more visibility now? Absolutely. No question there. But this might be me talking as an older person who grew up in the '80s and '90s, media in those decades was full of lesbian characters (again, keeping in mind that fetishizing factor, so it wasn't the best visibility, but there was disability) while two men was so unacceptable even in the early 2000s Heath Ledger had to deal with a member of the press calling his appearance in Brokeback Mountain "disgusting".
I don't mean to minimize our lesbian sisters' struggle, But I don't think it's fair to those generations that have been here since before most people that appear in this video to say men have had it easier, just because being a cis man is considered easier. That hasn't always been the case for gay men. And ignoring that puts us in danger of ignoring the struggles that trans people are going through right now.
We've all had to struggle a different levels and at different times. If you want to know what it was historically, talk to older LGBTQ people, because on that first question I feel we were misrepresented.
I say that very respectfully, and again, just from the perspective of a mid 40s Latino gay man.
(Basically, I agree a lot with the Lesbian, Trans, Pan and Bi people in this vid. YOU GUYS RULE! The Queer kid exhudes Gen-Z privilege and disconnection from our history, not personally since I don't know hom, but just based on his answers. Also, front gay guy doesn't sound like he's answering honestly, he's just accomodating everyone else and answering what he thinks is acceptable to answer to the point it's annoying. Just my two cents)
This idea that “cisgender gay men” have it “easier” is so perplexing.
I mean .... is it really though? Especially the more masc presenting ones... Which way more of us are than people want to admit. When you can blend in it def makes day to day life easier.
@@orionishi6737 Feel like you’re forgetting about the AIDS epidemic mate. And, you know, the fact that gay men are disproportionately punished, imprisoned and killed for their sexuality in countries where “homosexuality” isn’t legal. Also, the insane cost of starting a family if you don’t have a uterus.
@@RoryMadigan I think my point still stands.
@@orionishi6737 It really doesn’t.
@@orionishi6737being "seen" in 2023 is definitely not harder than the time gay people were literally dying of aids and we didn't speak about lgbt issues or have gay marriage.
Bi woman here! Yup, I don't feel represented at all by the Pride movement (in the UK). Moreso because I'm black and a woman tbh. The first time I went to Pride, I suffered racial comments and 'exoticisation' (white gay men touching me without consent and commenting on the colour of my skin). Now I prefer to go abroad for Pride, if I can, and seek out black/non-white events or at least take a black friend with me (my first Pride, I went there with white friends and was badly singled out).
Plus on the lesbian side, it's really hard to find Sapphic spaces just for community-building. There's male-only clubs, etc. but I haven't found the same for queer women.
I’m androgyne and bi and unfortunately there are so many misconceptions about both and I’m glad that I have a great support system now but I didn’t always have it. Gaeie yt men definitely have the most power which needs to change
LYLAH IS SUCH AN ICON I LOVE HER
I entered this video and left with no clue as to what they’re actually thinking. What a waste of an opportunity.
“Which (NFL) team?” “I don’t know, I failed math” DEAD 🤣
6:50 thats why the question was "SHOULDNT" lol none of these people understood.
The Bi guy was the only one who understood at first buy then got confused when they "explained"
Coming out shouldn’t be such a big deal: disagree, coming out shouldn’t have to be such a big deal. Like, please please please I want that to be possible.
These responses are so different than my friends in the suburbs of an east coast state.
I should try this with a group from the east coast huh?
We do live in NYS but we live in BUFFALO so not the most liberal area. So we’ve had some different experiences. I wish I could come out and be on your show. Thought this was a really cool experiment ❤
@@BrianTerada you definitely should! I live in the south, so some of the responses surprised me as well!
Thank u Brian for this. This was a good conversation
Ari is so cute 🥰🥰🥰
I went to middle & high school with Alex actually, same class lol, & I’m pansexual. I can attest that the judgements, hate & invalidation for the lgbtq+ community in Santa Clarita is real unfortunately. Grateful I moved away from that area before finishing high school but definitely wish I talked to her back then to give her a safe space to be herself. I’m not friends with a single person I went to school with out there now being 22, I’d get if she isn’t either but glad she and everyone in this are around supportive people that make them feel comfortable enough to be themselves!💜
Yes for sure now which 1salex ?
I read the second question like Ari did. I'm gay, and I don't think coming out SHOULD be a big deal, because in a perfect world no one should care if you're gay, or trans, or NB, or what have you. I can see and I understand where the others were coming from, but I fully understand Ari's viewpoint because that's how I heard the question. "Coming out SHOULDN'T be a big deal, but it unfortunately is."
if I hear the word "like" again ima throw hands! like
how does anyone not agree with "coming out shouldn't be a big deal" ??? i dont get it
Amazing video. Cant wait to hear more. 💚
Loved this video can’t wait for more ❤
The way lilah is meant to be in front of the camera