Hello friends. 🥹🫂🌺🌻💛 This is a SAFE AND KIND place for everyone, ESPECIALLY those experiencing poverty, and those on the fringes. I will be deleting victim blaming, disrespectful and gas lighting comments because no one deserves to have to be subjected to that kind of harm just looking to be seen and to connect. To pretend that systems are not in place to keep most of us as wage slaves and stuck, is harmful. You are not interested in a dialog, but victim blaming. Also, no one is asking you for patronizing advice... If it's not said in kindness, empathy and csre, don't share it. No one wants to go back and forth with you about their LIVED experience. No one wants to have their reality dismissed or over-simplified. If this is not your experience, CONGRATULATIONS. You are BLESSED. Now be a blessing and center your community members who may not have had that experience. If it's not kind, keep it to yourself. You're not entitled to a response, nor are you allowed to hurt people's feelings here. Many of us are a few emergencies away from being impoverished, so quit acting like you're superior. You're not. You're just unkind.
What about the one's that actually are actual crtiques? There are some things you said that can be valid in many cases but also there are some holes in the logic. No offense but this does all come off a bit projecting
@@moonofthesun6853 this is not a projection... This is my experience. 😅💛 I don't think you mean any harm, but I'm not asking for push back... I'm not asking for a debate. This is my REAL life, you know? Poverty is not logical, but here we are. None of this is logical. It's evil. I don't like that we immediately criticize poor folks, and not the systems that keep them poor.....?
@@moonofthesun6853 I think you'd be surprised, even looking at the comments, that what seems to be "general" really is just "common". 🌻💛🌺 It's okay that we have different perspectives or experiences. But I'm not really in the mood to argue about the trauma I've experienced. It's harmful. I'm not trying to make my trauma palatable for people. I'm not asking for counsel or advice. I'm sharing my experiences, and some of the anonymous experiences of others. We just need empathy. That's it. And if you got it to help others, great. But advice and help *at the right time* is great, but that time is just not now.
@@AleciaRenece I see your point. but to what I said before though, There's a difference between what is your experiences and then making general statements like "people want you to feel bad about being in poverty" in some cases that can be true depending on the person. Like with your experience, its isolated and doesn't speak for everyone
The issue is they DO know. They choose to be willfully ignorant and it’s not good. At some point we need to stop excusing people willingly choosing to ignore how and why we struggle.
I was told that me being poor was due to me thinking in lack. A scarcity mindset. That I don’t think in abundance. Then I thought about my childhood. And how horrible my mom was with money & how my family viewed money in an unhealthy way. That negative thinking imprinted on my subconscious which created my reality of being “poor.” Once I made the needed changes, subconsciously & changed my frequency, the money started to come from all kinds of things. But that’s just me. And my own path. My life is like night and day. I’m so grateful and blessed. I thank the universe & my higher self all the time.
I think it comes from not have a plan that actually works. Everyone can have a plan but some plans need tweaking. Also a lot of people isn’t willing to sacrifice things now to get things later.
Yep, you start hearing people's stories and you start to realize that parents helping their children financially in young adult hood and even throughout their adult years and then leave them inheritance. They are not usually very in touch with what it is like to struggle from High school , right after high school and then it just kinds of never stops for lots of people. One bad year or few months can set them back for years. Poverty can really stay with people who also make money later in their successful years. You can sometimes tell certain people didn't have money for a good portion of their lives.
You’re right I’m trying to get my business off the ground and I am doing everything on my own it’s hard and I really want to give up. The other day I asked my brother does he know anyone that’s looking for a job because I’m looking for delivery driver’s and cooks and he said no one is looking for employment right now before even asking for me. I’ve always been ambitious from a young age I have obstacles that are put in my way on purpose with no support. Everyone around me is where their at due to someone helping them in some way or right out giving them things. I really don’t care about the judgement but if they’re one of the ones standing in my way to financial freedom then I’m going to say something. I don’t have due to theft, lies, lack of support, rejection and sabotage.
@@numbingzone3559sometimes your own family is your worst enemies. Look outside, past them for good people and community willing to embrace and enhance your efforts. I’m wishing you all the best. ❤❤❤
I've attempted to WORK myself out of poverty. I've attempted to ENTREPRENEUR myself out of poverty. I've attempted to 401K myself out of poverty. I've attempted to INVEST my way out of poverty. I've attempted KEEP IT SIMPLE my way out of poverty. I've attempted to MAKE IT MYSELF out of poverty. I've attempted to college, certification and training my way out of poverty. Ive attempted to NETWORK my way out of poverty. But guess what? Here I am still attempting to get out of poverty again. At this point im living on faith. I have a business that im still trying to increase my sales. I am a healer and an artist. I also am healing from two decades of toxic work environments. So I'm here and I feel everything you are saying. Remember WE are ABUNDANCE!!
My mom used to say poverty is a perception. Do you have food even if it’s not what you like or want? You are not poor. Do you have a roof over your head? You are not poor. Do you have clean clothes that cover your body, even if it’s not the latest thing? You are not poor. Do you have a family that loves you? You are not poor. Do you have health and can live independently (not a quadriplegic)? You are not poor. Be grateful for all you do have. Cherish it and take care of it. Do not be bitter by full of Gratitude! Yes, I live well be low the poverty level my first 12 years of life. It wasn’t always pretty, I have the scars to prove it, but there were a lot of good days and times.
I had a customer ask me about a certain brand of designer perfumes. When I told her I didn't know much about designer brands, she proceeded to ask me if I was "ghetto". I asked her "would it make me any less human if I was"? She said "No". So I said "then what is the point of that question". She stood staring at me for a few minutes, shrugged her shoulders, and walked away. I swear, people are a mess!
@@ggoodvibes23 I would see her off and on because she was a regular shopper. Whenever I would look at her, she would either quickly look away or avoid my gaze entirely. My guess is that her question clearly embarrassed her.
Not to mention being poor while struggling with your mental health… and the only way to address your mental health is to have the money/healthcare to do so. In addition to trying to explain an “invisible” mental health struggle, such as ADHD/Autism. That combined with being poor feels like falling down an eternal black hole.
This is HUUUGE. I've needed to check myself into a psych ward, but worrying about losing money, losing my job... Phew. Literally too poor for a mental health crisis. 🥺🫂💛
having ADHD and being poor is hell .... it really takes a toll on your self worth when the "lazy, reckless and impulsive" poor people stereotypes actually rings true to your character :((( I've spent loads of money and tried a whole lot of different things in the hopes that my symptoms will be "cured" even though the reality of ADHD not being curable but a lifelong disability where the best I can do is create coping mechanisms to minimize it is dawning more and more. My brain eventually gets bored of every new trick or solution I use to motivate me to be a responsible adult and I get thrown back into the same cycle of running in circles like a madman. I think its the hardest when you compare yourself to your coworkers, doing the same job for 50 hour weeks, while going to college fulltime and still clocking in on time everyday and being a good worker bee.
OMG! The fear of always being the broke friend is soooo real! I've turned down so many invitations out because I "had something else to do". Meanwhile I'm literally doing nothing.
omgosh yes, everyone always wants to go out and do something and they dont understand no. I have lost people over this because I simply can not afford them!!
Shaming is a very effective form of social control. It is Insidious and effective because once people have planted the seed a person starts to monitor and shame themselves society doesn’t even have to lift a finger. Stay strong and realise that society is unwell. You are not crazy!
Black women, please make sure your cup is full before you go into work where you are trying to fill the cup of others. Please make sure your life vest is secure and you put on your mask first before assisting others. Also know this: you have more to offer society than just activism for others and social work. You do not have to save everyone else before you save yourself first. You will not be rewarded for sacrificing yourself. No one will come to save you when you experience hardship nor will they care to. Do not let people make you feel ashamed for learning how to play the game of life and doing what it takes to win and secure financial security for yourself. You were not brought to this earth to mule, sacrifice, and suffer. You were born to live abundantly. Remember that.
This is so true, I always said being in poverty is traumatizing. Not only how people look down on you and judge, but they always see you as "poor" even when you have grown from situations. 😢
You ain't lying. I sometimes wish that growth within us would materialize into riches... then would we see a shift. Then we'd see who is. Rich. Truly. 😒😎✊🏿💜💙❤️ Let's keep our heads up though! I got you through the internet!😊
Unfortunately, what you stated is what leads people into the cycle of trying to look rich and living above their means. As someone who grew up in poverty, I fell into that cycle once I finished college and got a "good paying job ". Never again.
crying. i turned the volume down on this video before it started. it's Sunday morning but I'm scared someone will walk past and hear me watching RUclips instead of making money. the guilt is ingrained in me
Fascinating how quickly folks swoop in to shut Black women down once we start talking about systemic poverty and oppression. Is it a coincidence that this generation of Black women is more educated and skilled than previous generations and still struggling to survive? Keep speaking the truth 🙏🏾
*BIG HUGS* I appreciate you so much!!!! 🥹🫂🌺🥰💛🌻 This is so encouraging. I came here to offer a place for folks to be seen and for others to understand with empathy. I don't understand why when we speak up about harmful systems (that harm EVERYONE involved), why we get punched in the face.... For caring?! I realize that a lot of people want power more than they want equity, fairness and a place for everyone to thrive and do well. A lot of people are more concerned with turning a blind eye to those on thr fringes (especially Black women) because they don't care. 💔🥺 And THAT is HEARTBREAKING. When you're doing all you can to spread love and encourage others... And you are immediately told to be quiet... That everything is your own fault.... Phew! I am so appreciative of you. Bless you. Thank you. ☺️💛🌻🌺 You're inspiring and encouraging.
@@KN-wb6un No - Black WOMEN. Black men got the right to vote while women still did not. That is just one example but the cross marginalization experience MAKES A DIFFERENCE. This doesn't mean Black men don't struggle, but it is different. That is why people compare Black men and White women to each other. Because they both experience 1 level of marginalization (at least at face value, we are talking in monoliths). Black men experience racism. White women experience sexism. Black women experience both.
I live in a place where you can't even go mile or turn a corner without seeing a church but its still homeless ppl everywhere and my state is one of the poorest states despite being in the bible belt in a very religious enviroment. Most churches have forgotten about the giving charity to the community part than wonder why attendance is on a steady decline. Among other reasons.
@jadibdraws Churches and religion in general and mainly the blk ones are a complete waste of time. Rather than helping the poor and teaching them ways to get out of poverty they simply tell you to pray about it or pay your tithes to receive blessings. A complete grift if you ask me. 😒
My mom bought our tennis shoes from a dollar store when I was a kid it was shameful, but I now know she did her best to raise us with what she had. I love her
Thiiiiiiiiis! I usually held my fear of being teased back from my parents because I KNOW they were doing their best. I didn't want to hurt them or make them feel bad about what they could not afford. At some point, I just stopped caring. This was my life. I was grateful to actually HAVE shoes and clothes. My parents were trying to care for us in the best way they could, and they did. 🥹💛🌻🌺 I'm SO grateful for the sacrifices my mother made for me to be okay. It definitely wasn't picture perfect, but it was soaked in her love and care for us.
@@AleciaReneceI have to push back just a little on this because I also came up in poverty. I can't really let my parents off the hook for deciding to engage in an act that brought a life into struggle. I am saying this as a mom who thought thoroughly about what type of lifestyle I was bringing my child into. I think these are the real conversations we need to start having in our community. Having children we can't afford is keeping the majority of us in poverty and depression.
@@MT-yx5cuMany people had children and circumstances happened which caused them to be unable to provide how they used to. You can plan plan plan all day and still face unfortunate circumstances. It happened to me! I planned my daughter with her father who I was married to and he walked away! It left me in severe poverty, it wasn’t my fault and parents should not be blamed when they are trying their best to provide and give their kids the best life.
Mom bought our shoes used. I got my first pair of new shoes at age 8 as a gift from my grandmother. All of our clothes were used except underwear and socks. Socks and underwear were our Christmas gifts along with a used toy. My sister and I hated going to school in our shoes with holes, we had wet feet the whole rest of the day leaving wet marks wherever we walked. When really young we used to go for walks to collect bottles from the side of the road to turn in for money to buy food. My father would not allow us to accept charity or government handouts. We all looked like the skinny girl on the cover for Les Miserable. We had health issues due lack of food from hypoglycemic to anemia to infections to breathing issues. It was the cycle of not enough food makes children sick which means a Dr visit which costs money which means no money for food, a never ending cycle near impossible to break out of. It was taboo to complain or talk about our family issues of lack. Definitely a punishable offense.
Being grandfathered in work.i had to wirk like a dog with little pay.i was never taught how to save money.growing up poor many periods as a child.i learned my experience over the years are just as important.my children are amazing with savings.i have a college grad.so proud how they turned out.i get the struggle of poor.its unfair the pressures daily.great video and no no one should ever feel judged.
I broke out in tears watching your video. I don't even know where those tears came from, but it makes me realize how much I've dissociated from everything. The fear of being poor again weighs on me.
I’m a nurse and feel poor most of the time. My rent is $1900 for no reason..car $450.. $250 electric ..$100 gas.. car ins $220 ..phone $230.. everyday I pray and try not to slip into depression.. God be with you all ❤
you pay 450 a month for your car??? please change your car insurance to very basic insurance or sell your car n take uber n Lyft to work you can also just rent a car when you need it .turn your lights off in the middle of the day n morning only keep them on at night or when needed. also, for your phone situation get a prepaid phone. There's so much you can be doing for yourself so do it. n start using cd ladders n money market account. like get up get it moving no one is coming to save you also cut down on grocery use foodbanks shop at costco or bj's once a year no more than 500 dollars. freeze for food plan your meals. Budget budget budget. people if you can't afford grocery's use food banks that's what they're made for.
start looking for a car that doesn't eat up gas like that so when you sell that one you can get a better used more eh you can also rent your own car out when you're not using it.
0:56 OMG! So one morning after a Drs appt I decided I SPECIFICALLY wanted a "fancy" breakfast. I got a fancy creme filled pastry and a Starbucks coffee drink. I walked out the store and there was a (assumably) homeless person asking for money to eat. I didn't have any cash, but the pastry I bought had two and I offered the other to him. The way he looked at it so sad and said "Oh, I can't take that, you enjoy it. You look like you enjoy things."‼️ I was FLABBERGASTED! I was thinking about it for DAYS. I still think about it from time to time. How sad😓
I needed to hear this. I am a working poor teacher. I have felt so much shame in the past, and this past year had to visit food pantries for the first time. The people running these organizations are angels walking amongst us. My mother always say YOU NEED TO BUDGET. The thing is I do budget, I budget so much and try to make ends meet, but there's never enough. I forego vacations weekend dinners with friends socks shoes and medicine because the money just isn't there. I live alone. No help, no one to lean on due to emergencies or just life. I wish my mother would not see the blame on me and automatically feel like I'm doing something wrong with my money. I'm doing so many things right these days. My sister makes a lot of money, past 100,000 but overworks as well. I choose to find abundance in other areas of my life but it is hard at times. During those times, I practice radical self love.
Low-income educator here with a Masters degree!!! I feel your pain. I know my income will be much higher one day after I make a career transition, but it's a shame that teachers are not valued in this country. America is ROTTEN!
@@twistedbabydoll85 totally agree, also have a Masters degree and it's awful how this country treats teachers then wonders why we are fleeing the profession
I want you to know that it is not your fault, you did nothing wrong and please do not feel ashamed. Every human being could be in your position. When you get out of this dark place know that you deserve all the goodness of the world.
You are doing the right thing. I would encourage you to explore some time freedom maybe tutoring or creating an online course that works so you don't have to as much teaching is hard labor. And you seem like you have so much creativity and empathy to share. and you don't have to forgo that stuff all the time. I used to be a substitute but now I have an income of 100k-- but still things are wild outside. People are broke. People are in debt. Rent is high, housing affordability is high. Also for food, maybe you can join a food co-op or buy fresh stuff at a farmers market and shop grocery sales (restock days), or try to can foods if you can. I have no way of knowing but share housing costs with folks if u can. I live in a townhome that I share with my bestie told the HOA that's my sister. My solution is to leave this country and that's what I'm working on but just know it ain't working for anybody . I hope this brings you peace.
Two student loans from a major institution plus two kids--prior to us paying off the loans plus decades living in New York City plus years as a stay at home mom. ALL equalled very little money. Thank God no one outwardly judged me as I felt bad enough about it on my own😢
I can empathize.💗 Although I did everything "right," my body failed me due to severe trauma & stress. I worked hard my whole life, worked 2 jobs while in grad school, but I became disabled early in my career. & I know it's only by the grace of God for sending me my amazing husband that I'm well taken care of. But if I was on my own, I'd most likely be homeless with only my SSDI. I've always given to others in need because I know what it's like to be in need & I still give because I've been given so much & I don't take that for granted. I don't know why people judge when it could easily be them. I'm praying for everyone in need, especially the disabled.💗
ALL. OF. THIS. 💛💛💛 Firstly, thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. 🥺 Many don't realize that you could do everything "right" and awful things still happen. Most of us don't have a savings for serious emergencies. I'm SO glad that you were able to be supported through this. I'm sending you so much love and joy. 🥹💐
@AleciaRenece I want to do a video titled the benefits of poverty because this comment exemplifies it clearly, poverty comes from the word poor, so it can be poor health or poor wealth and the lack of any of these will really destroy the narcissistic side of you rendering you useful to God, because it humbles you. Healthy or Wealthy people are usually narcs, they abuse others instead of serving and helping , Thus Jesus and all the rest came to this world poor, what was it that Jesus said about the rich, but after you have attained humility if you can, you should amass what you can so you can give more and also be able to protect yourself better from the abuse of narcs esp those in higher walks of life especially those in official places, that's my opinion.
Shame has been associated with multi-generational living. Decades ago, multi-generational living was the norm. Grandparents would live with kids and grandchildren. Only recently has this become taboo!
I feel like hustle and grind culture has exacerbated this, even in our community...if we don't miss sleep, we aren't part of this elite, entrepreneurial class who deserves the best. What if everyone doesn’t want to own a business? What if they enjoy the freedom of not having to think about their job once they clock out? Also...food service workers in fast food are looked down upon, but baristas in coffee houses are somehow quirky and eclectic artisans because, well...the racist structure. I just wanna pull apart all of the stigma and shame of the situations so many of us have experienced of which you speak. Thanks for your courage in speaking out, Sis. I felt every word. 🙏🏽👑💛
I hate to say it but food service workers are often treating customers horribly. They are looked down upon because they are the least skilled and have the worst customer service. I’ve been cussed at multiple times for no reason by drive thru workers. And my order is always wrong. I don’t go to those places anymore and cook my own food. If I want to eat out, I now go to exclusive places where I can get good service and tip well. I hate to say it but our people don’t have dignity in those food service positions and I think we are partially to blame for that.
@@ninagrace-lee8323 I think both things are true, there are workers who are nasty, but there are workers who are hustling to do everything correctly, and for some reason the ones w/bad demeanor have become the universal image of why people don't deserve to be paid a living wage (I know YOU didn't say or imply that here but I'm referring to the ppl who are less nuanced than your comment abt these things) when it's like, but white collar workers still get paid even when they have a bad attitude or sit around idly clicking on a computer all day.
Impoverished people are being used to make money. People arent just poor, poverty is being done to us. ♡ thanks for explaining all this, its very helpful.
im neurodivergent and so it’s difficult to really have and hold a job. lack of support system/community and an understanding one. i genuinely get drained and overstimulated being around ppl for a certain amount of time. my folks have been ingrained with having a scarcity mindset they talk nothing about creativity and if you were to pursue that, it wouldn’t amount to anything. i’ve grown up with adults being financially unstable and insecure and trying to break that cycle is hard
I am HONORED. 🥹 Thank you so much for sharing such kind and generous words with me. It can be discouraging to share your heart ans you wonder if you are actually making a difference. Bless you. Much love and joy to you! 🌻💛🌺
Just a tip, Amazon has relatively inexpensive bed frames. You can choose from selections of inexpensive and stylish bed frames for as little as $89 and upward. You can purchase very good quality memory foam gel mattresses for as little as $300( some cost less). These mattresses often offer greater comfort than the aggressively marketed posturepedics. I hope this helps. No one pulls themselves up by their bootstraps. We live in a networking society. Hopefully, it will be a more fair than hierarchal systems, particularly in the workplace- but then you must be good at networking ( fitting in). Life in the US can draining.
People are afraid of it because the media has made it seem like everybody you don't know is a serial killer or out to decieve or get one over on you but Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace are great resources.. I got my Tuft mattress for $30 (no bedbugs and clean - I also washed the mattress cover) , it's a $500+ mattress . I've had it for years at this point and it's insanely comfortable. When I graduate Uni and had no money, I also got a nice bed frame of Craigslist for $25 , the sellers even helped transport it to my place. Ive sold things in good condition on those sites myself for cheap because I needed the item gone , it's a good resource.
I once bought a mattress in a box that comes out inflated from walmart for like 60 bucks, had that baby for years it was comfortable, research mattress in a box lol
OMG I was just thinking about the group labeled 'essential workers' during the crisis, but have always been treated like crap 🤔. We're always talking about who deserves more/less money, but also want all of our products at the push of a button. If you don't appreciate the labor of the 'poors', do everything yourself and then watch the world complain about the lack of convenience. You can never make enough money to be above gratefulness. So much more I can say...LOVE YOU 🩷💛🧡
I did office work for 27 years and then held a 2nd PT retail job, for 17 1/2 years and in 7/2014 I was given FT employment there and worked thru the pandemic and people came in their maskless ready to infect me with COVID. People hate other people.
I think part of what's driving people's condemnation of poor people is self-hate because they know they're one missed paycheck away from homelessness themselves.
Ppl are dead ass annoying and ignorant. And then ppl love to put jobs in your face and giving unsolicited advice on what jobs to apply for and not considering things like discrimination towards certain intersections and mental health/disabilities. The elites created classism specifically to cause separation of the ppl. Theres power in community, strength in numbers
Ooooh so many topics you've hit here. I've had a fair share of financial ups and downs, and those downs have formed permanent scars around spending money. The little financial literacy I had was knowing not to fuck up my credit. But when I lost my job, on the brink of losing my home and supporting my family, I had no choice but to go into credit card debt for basic things like gas, supplies, and groceries. My credit score tanked. 8 months later, after finally landing a decent-paying job at a well-off company, my boss treated me and my team to lunch to celebrate at a fancy restaurant. I struggled to order anything over $20 for myself, even though I wasn't paying. There's so much guilt and anxiety we hold around being in so much scarcity that it changes our perception of our self-worth and what we believe we deserve to enjoy.
Oh! And, not to mention, it's legal in some states for some jobs to retract their job offer to you if they find you have a poor credit score. So, another example of how it's a crime to be poor.
I can not even tell you how happy I am to have found your channel. Poverty shaming when most of us are poor is insanity. We are so used to being cruel to each other.
What's worse is growing up poor in a large family, saving money and sacrificing all of your life, retiring early because you were successful and amassed a good sum...but still feel trapped in that same mindset. I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life but, that voice in the back of my head that says, "be careful" or "do you really need that" never goes away!
🗣️LISTEN TO THAT VOICE!!! it could be your intuition, warning, you that someone somewhere, a family member, friend, or lover is plotting your financial ruin by any access point they can can enter at at! 🫵🏽 You better stay calm, distanced, & woke 👁️ !!! Don’t be paranoid & do super irrational shii about what you noticing. Just make a mental note 👁️. Then go about protecting your peace ☮️ & financial stability. It’s not just your trauma from a past of poverty messing with you. It’s your intuition & divine protection nudging you to wake up to what’s really going on.
Alecia, this is so true! There's so much trauma that comes with poverty because there's so much shame, even when it was far beyond our control. The way people without homes are treated is so awful. And the way we are brainwashed to believe that service or labor jobs are less honorable and less deserving is WEIRD! Thank you for sharing. And the song is BEAUTIFUL!
Just wanted to write this: I watch you with your husband - you are not poor. I watch you with your mother and talk about the loving bonds in your family- you are not poor. I listen to the strength of your intellect and love for humanity; your ability to speak truth coherently and lovingly - You are not poor. The ones who look down on you don’t matter anyway and the community and love that you have is something some of the richest people can only wish for.
I'm reading a book called "Tightwads and Spendthrifts" by Scott Rick, so this is timely. I'm trying to reset my mindset because the "post-brokeness stress disorder" is real. even when you're okay financially, the fear that it'll all disappear keeps cropping up. ♥️ thanks for sharing because this is very real.
Ive done everything right graduated highschool, went to college, have been working since I was 18 but Im currently 26 and had to move back in with my parents because after covid it became literally impossible for me to survive on my own. And at that point, I chose a bad time to move out because it was right before the pandemic only lived alone for a year. I felt pretty embarrassed by that for a while and some ppl in my family didn't make it any better. But I know I literally did everything I could've possibly done. I saved up the money and didn't spend foolishly, worked full-time, but it just wasn't possible. And because I don't have kids, I couldn't qualify for any government assistance to make it all more bearable. I had some ppl give me the bad advice of getting into a relationship so I can have somebody to help me pay on the bills. But thats not at all a good reason to start a relationship, and I also don't like the idea of living with a bf, especially one that I just started seeing.
I hear you! I’ve been working since I was 12 and I’m like how just how?! I wish I was taught about index funds and compound interest when I started working. I would have been able to retire by now. Grateful for financial educators like Tiffany Aliche (Bugetnista) and Ramit Sethi 🙏🏽💰💃🏽
Same here! 🫂💛🌻🌺 That information is kept away from us on purpose .. Or they make it sound really unaccessible with language. But like you, I am so glad that people are being generous and kind enough to share. And share in an accessible way. It's wonderful! 💛🫂🥹
I know how you feel but it’s never too late. I started investing in index funds when I started working around 25 years old. I wish I would have started at 18 but of course the USA public school system doesn’t teach relevant skills.
For those that may have bug infestations. A big trick I learned is to go outside the house and spray bug spray around the perimeter of the home. More specifically, the perimeter is the area where the floor of the house meets the wall of the house. To find that, look inside any of your rooms, you see where the floor meets the bottom of the wall? Then go outside and spray where the two connect. If you see a line of ants walking up the side of your home from the ground, that is where your ant problem is coming from. Spray that line, and walk all around your house spraying the connecting point of where the wall meets the floor. It should stop or slow down that particular infestation. Ants are clever and might develop a new line to try and march up the outside brick base of your house a few days later. For this, you might need some commercial pesticide to reside on the outside wall of your home. Also baits work too. Hopefully this information helps someone. 😍
It's not poor! It's a temporary financial challenge. Everyone is challenged at a different level. It's not you but the system. Do what you can and be good with you. We need more representation from the working class, vote for someone in the same boat as you.
I currently live in my mother's partially renovated garage...and I was even ashamed to articulate the feeling of 'poverty trauma' as you say. Thank you for sharing.
I'm sorry, but for repaying people back, even small increments help. If you say you're paying something back, then do that even if it takes forever. For me it's a spiritual guilt of not keeping my word. I'm slowly paying my sister back because she helped me, I want to pay her twice as much as she helped me even if it takes five years, ten years, I want to help her too.
That part about over explaining and over sharing hit home for me. Like whoo I struggled for years as a single mother and none of my sibling or family really ask how I’m doing or my child for that matter. They say I can reach out for help but when I do I feel like I gotta answer a million questions before they help me out and it just made me not wanna ask at all, just try to do the best I can.
Same! People get so nosy when you ask for help. They want to know everything. One of my friends moms bought me a bed because they didn’t like that i was sleeping on an air mattress. Now she’s always asking me if i paid rent like that’s any of her business but no i didn’t! And then she acts like im a psycho because i want to go see a dodgers game next month. Like i don’t deserve baseball because i couldn’t afford rent or a bed. And i have a gift card for the tickets so that’s not even cash money i would be spending 😓 it’s just so embarrassing to be poor.
@@lexa_power isn't a dodgers game less than rent inherently? not that it would matter either way, but it's always hilarious when ppl act like a single purchase under $100 has anything to do w/ being able to constantly cough up thousands for rent each month. the whole system is a joke and some so-called 'allies' are even more of a nuisance stg
This video was so powerful. I work at a Homeless advocacy agency and the systemic injustices in place have impacted generations of people. Praying for us all. Thank you for being you.
Tell the truth, Alecia! We’ve all been there. While going through a brutal divorce I had to sell furniture and clothes to feed my children. This manufactured shame has got to go. No one, no other human has the right to judge us. And no one has walked in your bare feet. Your experiences create your wisdom. Love all of who you are and who you have been. Love yourself exactly as who you are in this perfect moment. ❤
I feel all of this! Esp not having a job right now at 24 I feel very ashamed to live with my mom and parents can make you feel Shame if you have no money to give I have been feeling so unworthy and a lack there of, my mom also has this friend who constantly judges me and makes me feel less than like I’m not doing enough and mask it as “you’re doing nothing I’m better than you and your family” I always felt she was a sly person I no longer like interacting with her.
My ex is from East Africa. When he was growing up, people helped each other. If someone watched the neighbor’s kids, as a gift of appreciation, they would give produce from the garden, or eggs from the farm, or a bag of corn etc.
I live in the SF Bay Area and you are so right, Alecia! I work 2 jobs, one as a licensed teacher with a masters degree, and I’m poor. In addition, we have a huge homeless population. It breaks my heart because they are so mistreated. For everything you shared in this video, I can think of an example I witness in everyday life. The level of greed and capitalism we live under has been weighing so heavy on my spirit lately. Your videos make me feel seen and validated that I’m not crazy. People don’t care enough anymore. Also, I love your wage slave song! Thank you for being vulnerable with us. May the universe always provide for you 🙏🏿 ✨
I totally agree with everything you said. I hate being poor and way people treat you. They feel you deserve the worst. Not everyone has family to fall back on.
THIS! Thank you so much for sharing this truth. No one is self made. We all need community. The wealthy saying they're self made are lying. We're all made up of each other. Everyone doesn't have the support they need. I wish more people understood this.
The reality is things are getting even more expensive. So more and more people will have financial difficulties. But we have a culture where people with less resources are shamed. And they’re told it’s your fault, too bad. Or if someone is homeless - people say they’re on drugs, when someone can be homeless for many different reasons. We often don’t acknowledge that many of these issues are systemic, and safety nets are very thin. The US has the smallest safety net of all of the western nations.
I had a high school friend and young adult friend who was in my life and I was divorcing a narcissistic and I was freaking out ..she gave me a couple hundred and told others and I couldn't pay her back ...I would've worked it off I was crazy and depressed and it taught me if I've got anything you can have it , this has happened a couple of times because I finally got a medical job , still had 2 kids to support...I really learned the meaning of friends and Christians
I was told that me being poor was due to me thinking in lack. A scarcity mindset. That I don’t think in abundance. Then I thought about my childhood. And how horrible my mom was with money & how my family viewed money in an unhealthy way. That negative thinking imprinted on my subconscious which created my reality of being “poor.” Once I made the needed changes, subconsciously & changed my frequency, the money started to come from all kinds of things. But that’s just me. And my own path. My life is like night and day. I’m so grateful and blessed. I thank the universe & my higher self all the time.
Also I learned the power of the tongue. What you say shows up in different ways. I don’t speak certain words I don’t hang around certain people. That has helped tremendously. This took me 7 years. I have more than enough now. All my bills are paid. I don’t have any debt. And I have my health. I cry because I can’t even complain. The gratitude.
My husband - who is a minister - was/is on disability. He couldn't afford suits and giving each Sunday to the point that he would make a decision to not got to church because he said people saw him a certain way and expected him to give each Sunday and he didn't have it. And when he did give, because you put your name and amount on the envelope, he heard some deacons making fun of how he gave so after that, he stopped putting his name on the envelope. Disclaimer: ALL churches do not do this, but some might have a certain culture that involves dressing up a certain way and so on. When you don't have it to participate in its "traditions", you'll stay away.
Your introspection is highly evident, else you could not offer such truths steeped in emphanty and sober observations. I don't know what else to say. Only that I am grateful for your voice. Thank you, Alecia.
I live by myself. I deal with A LOT because I know I can’t go back home. So, although it has been a struggle to keep my apartment, to keep the lights on, to keep my car, etc, I’m so afraid of not having, to where I only get the max of 10 hrs of sleep, but I have to work, pay these bills on my own and finish school.
The acceptance of a “minimum” wage is telling of the oppressed and the oppressor. We are ALL participating in the system, allowing it to exist by acceptance of one reality being the ONLY reality possible. We must ALL shift….there’s no one who is unimportant for this change. We all have to be the message and the messenger, living it. Thank you for your Voice. ❤❤❤
Holy shite!!! this is so very true. The interesting thing is that unless these people were born wealthy, they forget that they were once poor and they have no compassion. AND they seem to be less generous now that they can give more. Thank you for always saying what needs to be said. I love you. I have never considered it before, but "buying your way out of judgement" hits just right.
Hi I have gotten myself out of poverty in one generation and now make a livable wage. The problem is that poverty scarcity fear that followed me like a wild dog and the desperate need to help all those around me. Even though I can afford so many things I feel guilty to live better now.
Thank you for sharing this. Experiencing poverty is expensive on so many levels. There is little or no buffer room for anything, which adds pressure. Sending you much kind energy and support in sharing your experience and thoughts.
I truly think family should do what they can to help family. The idea that family members should be able to struggle because they're short of cash is foreign to me. If you do it, be sure that it's a gift. Forcing repayment only breeds animosity. You may be the one in need someday!
Sitting down with my notes 📝 YES to all of this. Having worked behind the scenes now, I've seen how the system of poverty is gleefully maintained. It is SICK. I literally sat in meetings with people laughing about poverty. Devoid of humanity. Thank you so much for sharing this with us 🤎🤎🤎
I’m so glad I came across your video. I often feel guilty that I’m not “grinding” to have the finer this in life. But dammit! I don’t have the energy or the desire to “grind”. I work full time and attend nursing school full time. For me, that’s enough! And if I was no so tired of being a Cna, I would not even go back to school. Being broke is scary and tiring.
@@deescorpio8454 that is MORE than enough. 🥹🫂💛✨🌻🌺 You're doing great. It's not your fault. This system is eating us all alive. Take care of yourself. Love yourself well. You should be so proud of you. Look at you surviving and being. Much love and joy to you!!!
Socializing and dating has really been challenging with inflation. I’m at the point where I’m honest and ask to do picnics or low cost activities in nature. And I manage money well but can’t justify spending $50+ each time I step into a bar or lounge. Sadly people still feel pressure to spend in this economy. I work two jobs in education and still technically make poverty wages. So I understand what you mean with the poverty jokes and people shaming those that don’t make 6 figures.
That’s so real about not being able to check yourself into the psych ward because you have bills. Right now I’m having a bad time mentally and want to check myself in somewhere but i am chained to my mailbox because im appealing my unemployment claim so i can’t go to the hospital now. And i don’t have any friends or family who would check the mail for me. And if i miss my appeal hearing im back to square one for why im depressed (capitalism / poverty). So there’s no point to get treatment now.
its really horrible that we have this guilt, especially because there has to be poor people for capitalism to function. someone has to be at the bottom out of necessity and yet we're shamed for it anyway...
What are we going to do😞. This is such a bad time to be completely alone with no help. Speaking for myself, all of this greed and inflation is giving me great stress.😕
Wow. I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned in this video is that I am poor, yet I’ve convinced myself otherwise because of the judgment. I literally believed that it was poor money management- not realizing that I literally didn’t have enough. I think about how at this point, even love and relationships are at our expense, we see poor people and think they don’t deserve companionship. At least that’s the message today. So many words for this video. Thanks for creating!! And yes. I used to work at McDonald’s, absolutely loved the people I worked with. There was no egos and there was something about us all working together that felt like a family. I think all service jobs feel like that. Plus, sadly, but that’s where a lot of blacks are relegated in society and shamefully(socially deemed), those jobs are sometimes the most enjoyable cause the people and connections feel like home. There’s profound community in those jobs.
As tough as my old job @ JoAnn fabrics was, it was my coworkers that made my mf day when dealing w/shady corporate junk (the same shit that likely led to the company declaring bankruptcy woot woot!!!) I think it stings when you get other black people looking down at you from the outside. I remember one of the most frustrating things was some 60-something black woman getting frustrated with my not being able to find an item she wanted + she screamed @ me for like 15 min about how my white coworkers are better than me. And as a manager I had to just stand there and be deferential when I was being disrespected.
(coming from Flint, mi.)......I miss pre 1984 Jo-Ann's (when the executives bought out the founding family).....they just made that same mistake AGAIN....as they were sold to a leverage investment company this year! (with the same problems).......
Grew up very poor but now I'm comfortable. I'm able to pay my bills comfortably. I hate spending money on nonessentials and I have a lot of anxiety around money. I want to leave my job but I know without it i'm in trouble.
Idk, if I loan u money and u dont pay me back, even a lil at a time, thats wack. U needed it and I came thru, why avoid me now and not pay back 🤷🏽♀️ I had a friend borrow $500 then got real distant. She said moneys tight and she aint got it. But she took her kids to cedar point and got new furniture. She coulda gave me $20 a week forever idc. But she threw away a friendship cause she played a very generous person, why?
That's why I said I don't LOAN money. I just give it. I'm not a loan shark. I'm not a bank. I'm trying to be a generous person. If I NEED someone to pay me back, I probably should not give it in the first place. 🤷🏾♀️💛 That's just my personal belief. That's also irresponsible and living outside of my means. We're not corporations. We're not banks. This is mutual aid. Also, I'm not talking about people who steal. What you're describing is theft. I'm talking about people who literally CANNOT pay you back. 💛💛💛
@@tiptoethroughthetilups8525 now, that's OBVIOUSLY not what I said. Come on now. Let's not do this. Let's not conflate lying and theft with asking for charity... They're not the same. Where in the video did I ever say any of what you just said.....? I didn't. This is you projecting your thoughts onto me and this person's conversation. I never said that. Asking for money while telling someone you'll pay them back is called theft and lying. 😅 I'm not an advocate of either. But I AM an advocate of being honest and asking for help. I've literally had to open a gofundme to get one of my cars fixed (the engine died). I told them straight up what the issue was and that I probably couldn't pay them back. The thing is, y'all gonna find a way to criticize no matter what I say, so I'm kinda over it.
12:46 Also some that make it out and become successful tend to look down on those that weren't able to get out and become successful and they say things like 'if I did it, you can do it' and honestly that's not always true. Yes thank God that you made it out, but just because someone else doesn't make it out, does not mean they weren't trying and utilizing everything they have within. Sometimes it just doesn't work out with no blame on the person...
I didn't grow up poor, but we weren't rich. My dad was bad with money and extremely cheap with his children. He would guilt trip me for anything I wanted that was deemed as a "luxury" (which were really necessities). I still have so much trauma around money that I'll probably never fully unpack.
Phew! *BIG HUGS* I completely understand that. Having people around you, especially parents, "pocket watching" creates a LOT of anxiety. There are things I STILL feel guilty about buying, even though I needed it. 🥺🌻💐 I'm sending you so much love. Thank you so much for sharing this with us! We can definitely pick up our parents' anxieties and fears around money. 💛💛💛
I can't even explain how biographical this video is for me . . . it's a whole soul-ectomy. I managed to keep it together 'til your song. Thank you for the cleansing. ❤️🩹😢💯
In December of 2020 I left an organization that I had worked for 15 years. I cashed out my 401k. Doing that allowed me a season of financial freedom in 2021. I was able to swipe and not consider and it was ELITE! I couldn’t help but think ..Wow this is what people get to experience. Majority of my adult life I’ve worked only being able to cover basic living expenses and not much else. And this is with a degree! I’m making more money now than I’ve ever made but due to inflation it’s like nothing has changed for me financial 😕
@36:10: Contentment is what we all want. AMEN!!!! Live and let live. When judgment arises, I take it as an opportunity to ask where I lack contentment. Because if I'm putting my energy toward that pursuit, I don't have time for anything else.
Alecia, let me begin by saying I love you, and I see you. Your content is always on point. You have a beautiful soul with a heart of gold. If only there were billions of more people like you, who see the good and value in everyone. Your music is incredible, I can totally relate to today's video. I also grew up poor and was made to feel less than.I am a highly sensitive person, so I intentionally keep my circle small. I refuse to try to keep up with the Jones's. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and no weapons formed against me will prosper. Keep doing and being true to yourself, sis.
Hello friends. 🥹🫂🌺🌻💛
This is a SAFE AND KIND place for everyone, ESPECIALLY those experiencing poverty, and those on the fringes.
I will be deleting victim blaming, disrespectful and gas lighting comments because no one deserves to have to be subjected to that kind of harm just looking to be seen and to connect.
To pretend that systems are not in place to keep most of us as wage slaves and stuck, is harmful.
You are not interested in a dialog, but victim blaming. Also, no one is asking you for patronizing advice... If it's not said in kindness, empathy and csre, don't share it.
No one wants to go back and forth with you about their LIVED experience. No one wants to have their reality dismissed or over-simplified.
If this is not your experience, CONGRATULATIONS. You are BLESSED. Now be a blessing and center your community members who may not have had that experience.
If it's not kind, keep it to yourself. You're not entitled to a response, nor are you allowed to hurt people's feelings here.
Many of us are a few emergencies away from being impoverished, so quit acting like you're superior. You're not. You're just unkind.
What about the one's that actually are actual crtiques?
There are some things you said that can be valid in many cases but also there are some holes in the logic. No offense but this does all come off a bit projecting
@@moonofthesun6853 this is not a projection... This is my experience. 😅💛 I don't think you mean any harm, but I'm not asking for push back... I'm not asking for a debate. This is my REAL life, you know? Poverty is not logical, but here we are. None of this is logical. It's evil.
I don't like that we immediately criticize poor folks, and not the systems that keep them poor.....?
@@AleciaRenece Well sis I think you got it. Your truth is self-evident. But I don't think it outwardly applies in generalities. Have a good one.
@@moonofthesun6853 I think you'd be surprised, even looking at the comments, that what seems to be "general" really is just "common". 🌻💛🌺 It's okay that we have different perspectives or experiences. But I'm not really in the mood to argue about the trauma I've experienced. It's harmful. I'm not trying to make my trauma palatable for people.
I'm not asking for counsel or advice. I'm sharing my experiences, and some of the anonymous experiences of others.
We just need empathy. That's it. And if you got it to help others, great. But advice and help *at the right time* is great, but that time is just not now.
@@AleciaRenece I see your point. but to what I said before though, There's a difference between what is your experiences and then making general statements like "people want you to feel bad about being in poverty" in some cases that can be true depending on the person. Like with your experience, its isolated and doesn't speak for everyone
People feel that you being poor is due to lack of ambition or laziness. They don't know that circumstances holds one back.
EXAAAAAACTLY. 💛💛💛
The issue is they DO know. They choose to be willfully ignorant and it’s not good. At some point we need to stop excusing people willingly choosing to ignore how and why we struggle.
I was told that me being poor was due to me thinking in lack. A scarcity mindset. That I don’t think in abundance.
Then I thought about my childhood. And how horrible my mom was with money & how my family viewed money in an unhealthy way.
That negative thinking imprinted on my subconscious which created my reality of being “poor.”
Once I made the needed changes, subconsciously & changed my frequency, the money started to come from all kinds of things.
But that’s just me. And my own path. My life is like night and day. I’m so grateful and blessed. I thank the universe & my higher self all the time.
I think it comes from not have a plan that actually works. Everyone can have a plan but some plans need tweaking. Also a lot of people isn’t willing to sacrifice things now to get things later.
Those are probably the same people who think that the American dream is real
My mama always say don't make fun of homeless people because you are just one check away from sleeping next to them😢
Your mom is a kind and considerate woman. 🌻🫂💛🌺💐 I'm sending you so much love!
Cause it’s the truth 😂 we all are
Its good to be self aware
@AleciaRenece Thank you beautiful video btw.🧡
I been there myself, it’s so true
And if you’re one of those in poverty who don’t have parents to fall back on? Now you’re playing the poverty game on expert mode.
Oouf! The poverty game on expert mode. 🫂 💪🏽 Amen . Well said!!!
Whew!!!!
😢yes
Yep, you start hearing people's stories and you start to realize that parents helping their children financially in young adult hood and even throughout their adult years and then leave them inheritance. They are not usually very in touch with what it is like to struggle from High school , right after high school and then it just kinds of never stops for lots of people. One bad year or few months can set them back for years.
Poverty can really stay with people who also make money later in their successful years. You can sometimes tell certain people didn't have money for a good portion of their lives.
This!!
One of the biggest factors of staying poor is lack of community even within your own "family" its very lonely...
Found this out in one of the cruelest ways possible. The family is an essential component and the foundation of this society.
You’re right I’m trying to get my business off the ground and I am doing everything on my own it’s hard and I really want to give up.
The other day I asked my brother does he know anyone that’s looking for a job because I’m looking for delivery driver’s and cooks and he said no one is looking for employment right now before even asking for me.
I’ve always been ambitious from a young age I have obstacles that are put in my way on purpose with no support.
Everyone around me is where their at due to someone helping them in some way or right out giving them things.
I really don’t care about the judgement but if they’re one of the ones standing in my way to financial freedom then I’m going to say something.
I don’t have due to theft, lies, lack of support, rejection and sabotage.
@@numbingzone3559sometimes your own family is your worst enemies. Look outside, past them for good people and community willing to embrace and enhance your efforts. I’m wishing you all the best. ❤❤❤
Exactly 💯
Or the competitiveness of resources within the family.
The flex is to always treat EVERYONE with kindness and respect, because it could easily be you.
THIS. And ONLY this. Thank you so much for sharing this with us 🥹🫂💛🌺 that is ALWAYS the flex! Kindness. Love. Compassion. Yeeees!
I'd go one step further and suggest that you treat them with kindness and respect because they're human.
Poverty is also a safety issue for vulnerable people.
It costs $100 to leave the house. I stay home, garden and practice my violin.
I've attempted to WORK myself out of poverty. I've attempted to ENTREPRENEUR myself out of poverty. I've attempted to 401K myself out of poverty. I've attempted to INVEST my way out of poverty. I've attempted KEEP IT SIMPLE my way out of poverty. I've attempted to MAKE IT MYSELF out of poverty. I've attempted to college, certification and training my way out of poverty. Ive attempted to NETWORK my way out of poverty. But guess what? Here I am still attempting to get out of poverty again. At this point im living on faith. I have a business that im still trying to increase my sales. I am a healer and an artist. I also am healing from two decades of toxic work environments. So I'm here and I feel everything you are saying. Remember WE are ABUNDANCE!!
THIS!!! Same story! AMEN!!!
🙌🏾 thank you for your comment, I resonate so much with this.
My mom used to say poverty is a perception.
Do you have food even if it’s not what you like or want? You are not poor.
Do you have a roof over your head? You are not poor.
Do you have clean clothes that cover your body, even if it’s not the latest thing? You are not poor.
Do you have a family that loves you? You are not poor.
Do you have health and can live independently (not a quadriplegic)? You are not poor.
Be grateful for all you do have. Cherish it and take care of it. Do not be bitter by full of Gratitude!
Yes, I live well be low the poverty level my first 12 years of life. It wasn’t always pretty, I have the scars to prove it, but there were a lot of good days and times.
So true. We just try to keep up and then things change. It’s not from lack of motivation or effort
I see you, I hear you and your efforts of controbuting to humanity's uploftment are appreciated.
I had a customer ask me about a certain brand of designer perfumes. When I told her I didn't know much about designer brands, she proceeded to ask me if I was "ghetto". I asked her "would it make me any less human if I was"? She said "No". So I said "then what is the point of that question". She stood staring at me for a few minutes, shrugged her shoulders, and walked away. I swear, people are a mess!
How ignorant was that? I hope your question led her to do some soul searching and deep thinking going forward...but I doubt it.
@@ggoodvibes23 I would see her off and on because she was a regular shopper. Whenever I would look at her, she would either quickly look away or avoid my gaze entirely. My guess is that her question clearly embarrassed her.
@yolondawilliams5078 I hope so! Hopefully that will teach her to think before she speaks! Lol
so incredibly dumb, people are lost
How did you not knowing about perfumes equate to being ghetto? 😂 I’m sorry about that smh
Speaking of LOANS. Don’t forget that “ INTEREST” is predatory. EVIL.
Yep, and it's why I never use it. Nothing but horror stories from taking loans
Yeeh🎉
Not to mention being poor while struggling with your mental health… and the only way to address your mental health is to have the money/healthcare to do so. In addition to trying to explain an “invisible” mental health struggle, such as ADHD/Autism. That combined with being poor feels like falling down an eternal black hole.
Man
Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It never ends
This is HUUUGE. I've needed to check myself into a psych ward, but worrying about losing money, losing my job... Phew. Literally too poor for a mental health crisis. 🥺🫂💛
having ADHD and being poor is hell .... it really takes a toll on your self worth when the "lazy, reckless and impulsive" poor people stereotypes actually rings true to your character :((( I've spent loads of money and tried a whole lot of different things in the hopes that my symptoms will be "cured" even though the reality of ADHD not being curable but a lifelong disability where the best I can do is create coping mechanisms to minimize it is dawning more and more. My brain eventually gets bored of every new trick or solution I use to motivate me to be a responsible adult and I get thrown back into the same cycle of running in circles like a madman. I think its the hardest when you compare yourself to your coworkers, doing the same job for 50 hour weeks, while going to college fulltime and still clocking in on time everyday and being a good worker bee.
OMG! The fear of always being the broke friend is soooo real! I've turned down so many invitations out because I "had something else to do". Meanwhile I'm literally doing nothing.
🥺🫂🫂🫂🫂💛💛💛 I completely understand that experience. I'm sending you so much love!!!
omgosh yes, everyone always wants to go out and do something and they dont understand no. I have lost people over this because I simply can not afford them!!
@@Stillthatgirl. You are not alone, sis! 😔
Feel that ..
I think it's one of the reasons I have a hard time asking for help because of how people treat you when they know you're struggling financially
Facts...I hate asking for help feels like I am also taking a loan I can't afford
Shaming is a very effective form of social control. It is Insidious and effective because once people have planted the seed a person starts to monitor and shame themselves society doesn’t even have to lift a finger. Stay strong and realise that society is unwell. You are not crazy!
This‼️
Black women, please make sure your cup is full before you go into work where you are trying to fill the cup of others. Please make sure your life vest is secure and you put on your mask first before assisting others. Also know this: you have more to offer society than just activism for others and social work. You do not have to save everyone else before you save yourself first. You will not be rewarded for sacrificing yourself. No one will come to save you when you experience hardship nor will they care to.
Do not let people make you feel ashamed for learning how to play the game of life and doing what it takes to win and secure financial security for yourself. You were not brought to this earth to mule, sacrifice, and suffer. You were born to live abundantly. Remember that.
Words to live by. I unfortunately learned this the hard way.
💯💯💯
This the one ❤
Your words are golden, wise and so true. ✨✨✨
In my 20s I was laser focused on my goals. It paid off because I can breathe a little now.
This is so true, I always said being in poverty is traumatizing. Not only how people look down on you and judge, but they always see you as "poor" even when you have grown from situations. 😢
💛💛💛🥹🫂 It HONESTLY is. Ugh. I want wealth and abundance for us ALL. It's so hard and you csn feel so much shame.
You ain't lying. I sometimes wish that growth within us would materialize into riches... then would we see a shift. Then we'd see who is. Rich. Truly. 😒😎✊🏿💜💙❤️ Let's keep our heads up though! I got you through the internet!😊
@@marshunnaclark5829yes, that would be awesome.
Unfortunately, what you stated is what leads people into the cycle of trying to look rich and living above their means. As someone who grew up in poverty, I fell into that cycle once I finished college and got a "good paying job ". Never again.
crying. i turned the volume down on this video before it started. it's Sunday morning but I'm scared someone will walk past and hear me watching RUclips instead of making money. the guilt is ingrained in me
🥺🫂💛🌺🌻 I am SO sorry!!! I'm sending you so much love. That shame isn't yours. It's not your fault. You're doing the best you can.
I do the same!
💗
ha ha lol
Fascinating how quickly folks swoop in to shut Black women down once we start talking about systemic poverty and oppression.
Is it a coincidence that this generation of Black women is more educated and skilled than previous generations and still struggling to survive?
Keep speaking the truth 🙏🏾
*BIG HUGS* I appreciate you so much!!!! 🥹🫂🌺🥰💛🌻 This is so encouraging. I came here to offer a place for folks to be seen and for others to understand with empathy. I don't understand why when we speak up about harmful systems (that harm EVERYONE involved), why we get punched in the face.... For caring?!
I realize that a lot of people want power more than they want equity, fairness and a place for everyone to thrive and do well.
A lot of people are more concerned with turning a blind eye to those on thr fringes (especially Black women) because they don't care. 💔🥺
And THAT is HEARTBREAKING.
When you're doing all you can to spread love and encourage others... And you are immediately told to be quiet... That everything is your own fault.... Phew!
I am so appreciative of you. Bless you. Thank you. ☺️💛🌻🌺 You're inspiring and encouraging.
This!!!
Black women take the brunt of marginalization so you're absolutely right. God knows I'm tired, this video really resonates 😑
@@nakiatexas10Black People*
@@KN-wb6un No - Black WOMEN. Black men got the right to vote while women still did not. That is just one example but the cross marginalization experience MAKES A DIFFERENCE. This doesn't mean Black men don't struggle, but it is different.
That is why people compare Black men and White women to each other. Because they both experience 1 level of marginalization (at least at face value, we are talking in monoliths). Black men experience racism. White women experience sexism. Black women experience both.
This is what church is SUPPOSED to be. True community where all’s needs are met.
I COMPLETELY agree 🥹🌻🌺🫂💛
🎯🎯
I live in a place where you can't even go mile or turn a corner without seeing a church but its still homeless ppl everywhere and my state is one of the poorest states despite being in the bible belt in a very religious enviroment. Most churches have forgotten about the giving charity to the community part than wonder why attendance is on a steady decline. Among other reasons.
We are waking up to the lie call church and what it stands for. NOT THE PEOPLE.
@jadibdraws Churches and religion in general and mainly the blk ones are a complete waste of time. Rather than helping the poor and teaching them ways to get out of poverty they simply tell you to pray about it or pay your tithes to receive blessings. A complete grift if you ask me. 😒
My mom bought our tennis shoes from a dollar store when I was a kid it was shameful, but I now know she did her best to raise us with what she had. I love her
Thiiiiiiiiis! I usually held my fear of being teased back from my parents because I KNOW they were doing their best.
I didn't want to hurt them or make them feel bad about what they could not afford.
At some point, I just stopped caring. This was my life. I was grateful to actually HAVE shoes and clothes.
My parents were trying to care for us in the best way they could, and they did. 🥹💛🌻🌺
I'm SO grateful for the sacrifices my mother made for me to be okay. It definitely wasn't picture perfect, but it was soaked in her love and care for us.
@@AleciaReneceI have to push back just a little on this because I also came up in poverty. I can't really let my parents off the hook for deciding to engage in an act that brought a life into struggle. I am saying this as a mom who thought thoroughly about what type of lifestyle I was bringing my child into. I think these are the real conversations we need to start having in our community. Having children we can't afford is keeping the majority of us in poverty and depression.
Mom and Dad bought our shoes from Payless back in the day
@@MT-yx5cuMany people had children and circumstances happened which caused them to be unable to provide how they used to. You can plan plan plan all day and still face unfortunate circumstances. It happened to me! I planned my daughter with her father who I was married to and he walked away! It left me in severe poverty, it wasn’t my fault and parents should not be blamed when they are trying their best to provide and give their kids the best life.
Mom bought our shoes used. I got my first pair of new shoes at age 8 as a gift from my grandmother. All of our clothes were used except underwear and socks. Socks and underwear were our Christmas gifts along with a used toy. My sister and I hated going to school in our shoes with holes, we had wet feet the whole rest of the day leaving wet marks wherever we walked.
When really young we used to go for walks to collect bottles from the side of the road to turn in for money to buy food. My father would not allow us to accept charity or government handouts. We all looked like the skinny girl on the cover for Les Miserable. We had health issues due lack of food from hypoglycemic to anemia to infections to breathing issues. It was the cycle of not enough food makes children sick which means a Dr visit which costs money which means no money for food, a never ending cycle near impossible to break out of.
It was taboo to complain or talk about our family issues of lack. Definitely a punishable offense.
2:33 They love to say 'Get a job' as if a job actually does anything...
Exactly
Barely does crap
The noise, everyday noise drains you mentally. My job of 30 years was so noise filled that I went home exhausted every night!
Being grandfathered in work.i had to wirk like a dog with little pay.i was never taught how to save money.growing up poor many periods as a child.i learned my experience over the years are just as important.my children are amazing with savings.i have a college grad.so proud how they turned out.i get the struggle of poor.its unfair the pressures daily.great video and no no one should ever feel judged.
I broke out in tears watching your video. I don't even know where those tears came from, but it makes me realize how much I've dissociated from everything. The fear of being poor again weighs on me.
🫂🫂🫂💛💛🌻🌺 I'm sending you so much love. I'm so glad you were able release. Much love and joy to you, Beautiful. 🥹
I’m a nurse and feel poor most of the time. My rent is $1900 for no reason..car $450.. $250 electric ..$100 gas.. car ins $220 ..phone $230.. everyday I pray and try not to slip into depression.. God be with you all ❤
Awwwwwwww! 🫂🥺💛🌻 I'm sending you so much love. We are all out here trying to make it. You're not alone. I stand with you. Much love and joy to you.
Oh wow! Sorry to hear that things are so rough right now ❤ May I ask where you're located?
you pay 450 a month for your car??? please change your car insurance to very basic insurance or sell your car n take uber n Lyft to work you can also just rent a car when you need it .turn your lights off in the middle of the day n morning only keep them on at night or when needed. also, for your phone situation get a prepaid phone. There's so much you can be doing for yourself so do it. n start using cd ladders n money market account. like get up get it moving no one is coming to save you also cut down on grocery use foodbanks shop at costco or bj's once a year no more than 500 dollars. freeze for food plan your meals. Budget budget budget. people if you can't afford grocery's use food banks that's what they're made for.
start looking for a car that doesn't eat up gas like that so when you sell that one you can get a better used more eh you can also rent your own car out when you're not using it.
@@munchkineatsalotvent9899No practical if you live in a rural environment. That works for ciry folks.
0:56 OMG! So one morning after a Drs appt I decided I SPECIFICALLY wanted a "fancy" breakfast. I got a fancy creme filled pastry and a Starbucks coffee drink. I walked out the store and there was a (assumably) homeless person asking for money to eat. I didn't have any cash, but the pastry I bought had two and I offered the other to him. The way he looked at it so sad and said "Oh, I can't take that, you enjoy it. You look like you enjoy things."‼️ I was FLABBERGASTED! I was thinking about it for DAYS. I still think about it from time to time. How sad😓
Oh noooo 🥺🫂🌻🌺💛 they thought it was "too much" 🥺💔 interactions like this make me so saaaad. Thank you for caring!
I needed to hear this. I am a working poor teacher. I have felt so much shame in the past, and this past year had to visit food pantries for the first time. The people running these organizations are angels walking amongst us. My mother always say YOU NEED TO BUDGET. The thing is I do budget, I budget so much and try to make ends meet, but there's never enough. I forego vacations weekend dinners with friends socks shoes and medicine because the money just isn't there. I live alone. No help, no one to lean on due to emergencies or just life. I wish my mother would not see the blame on me and automatically feel like I'm doing something wrong with my money. I'm doing so many things right these days. My sister makes a lot of money, past 100,000 but overworks as well. I choose to find abundance in other areas of my life but it is hard at times. During those times, I practice radical self love.
Low-income educator here with a Masters degree!!! I feel your pain. I know my income will be much higher one day after I make a career transition, but it's a shame that teachers are not valued in this country. America is ROTTEN!
@@twistedbabydoll85 totally agree, also have a Masters degree and it's awful how this country treats teachers then wonders why we are fleeing the profession
I want you to know that it is not your fault, you did nothing wrong and please do not feel ashamed. Every human being could be in your position. When you get out of this dark place know that you deserve all the goodness of the world.
You are doing the right thing. I would encourage you to explore some time freedom maybe tutoring or creating an online course that works so you don't have to as much teaching is hard labor. And you seem like you have so much creativity and empathy to share. and you don't have to forgo that stuff all the time. I used to be a substitute but now I have an income of 100k-- but still things are wild outside. People are broke. People are in debt. Rent is high, housing affordability is high. Also for food, maybe you can join a food co-op or buy fresh stuff at a farmers market and shop grocery sales (restock days), or try to can foods if you can. I have no way of knowing but share housing costs with folks if u can. I live in a townhome that I share with my bestie told the HOA that's my sister. My solution is to leave this country and that's what I'm working on but just know it ain't working for anybody . I hope this brings you peace.
Two student loans from a major institution plus two kids--prior to us paying off the loans plus decades living in New York City plus years as a stay at home mom. ALL equalled very little money. Thank God no one outwardly judged me as I felt bad enough about it on my own😢
I can empathize.💗 Although I did everything "right," my body failed me due to severe trauma & stress. I worked hard my whole life, worked 2 jobs while in grad school, but I became disabled early in my career. & I know it's only by the grace of God for sending me my amazing husband that I'm well taken care of. But if I was on my own, I'd most likely be homeless with only my SSDI. I've always given to others in need because I know what it's like to be in need & I still give because I've been given so much & I don't take that for granted. I don't know why people judge when it could easily be them. I'm praying for everyone in need, especially the disabled.💗
ALL. OF. THIS. 💛💛💛 Firstly, thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. 🥺 Many don't realize that you could do everything "right" and awful things still happen. Most of us don't have a savings for serious emergencies. I'm SO glad that you were able to be supported through this. I'm sending you so much love and joy. 🥹💐
I'm probably older than you @FinallyFreeHealing, but my situation is the same as yours. Exactly, like yours. I had to rid myself of guilt
@AleciaRenece I want to do a video titled the benefits of poverty because this comment exemplifies it clearly, poverty comes from the word poor, so it can be poor health or poor wealth and the lack of any of these will really destroy the narcissistic side of you rendering you useful to God, because it humbles you. Healthy or Wealthy people are usually narcs, they abuse others instead of serving and helping , Thus Jesus and all the rest came to this world poor, what was it that Jesus said about the rich, but after you have attained humility if you can, you should amass what you can so you can give more and also be able to protect yourself better from the abuse of narcs esp those in higher walks of life especially those in official places, that's my opinion.
You’re my favorite Black woman creator and I love that you exist ❤
She is a gift ❤
Shame has been associated with multi-generational living. Decades ago, multi-generational living was the norm. Grandparents would live with kids and grandchildren. Only recently has this become taboo!
I feel like hustle and grind culture has exacerbated this, even in our community...if we don't miss sleep, we aren't part of this elite, entrepreneurial class who deserves the best. What if everyone doesn’t want to own a business? What if they enjoy the freedom of not having to think about their job once they clock out?
Also...food service workers in fast food are looked down upon, but baristas in coffee houses are somehow quirky and eclectic artisans because, well...the racist structure.
I just wanna pull apart all of the stigma and shame of the situations so many of us have experienced of which you speak.
Thanks for your courage in speaking out, Sis. I felt every word. 🙏🏽👑💛
You preached a word with that barista fast food worker comparison!!
@@MsMizz1 thank you, blessings
I hate to say it but food service workers are often treating customers horribly. They are looked down upon because they are the least skilled and have the worst customer service. I’ve been cussed at multiple times for no reason by drive thru workers. And my order is always wrong.
I don’t go to those places anymore and cook my own food. If I want to eat out, I now go to exclusive places where I can get good service and tip well. I hate to say it but our people don’t have dignity in those food service positions and I think we are partially to blame for that.
@@ninagrace-lee8323 I think both things are true, there are workers who are nasty, but there are workers who are hustling to do everything correctly, and for some reason the ones w/bad demeanor have become the universal image of why people don't deserve to be paid a living wage (I know YOU didn't say or imply that here but I'm referring to the ppl who are less nuanced than your comment abt these things)
when it's like, but white collar workers still get paid even when they have a bad attitude or sit around idly clicking on a computer all day.
Impoverished people are being used to make money. People arent just poor, poverty is being done to us. ♡ thanks for explaining all this, its very helpful.
im neurodivergent and so it’s difficult to really have and hold a job. lack of support system/community and an understanding one. i genuinely get drained and overstimulated being around ppl for a certain amount of time. my folks have been ingrained with having a scarcity mindset they talk nothing about creativity and if you were to pursue that, it wouldn’t amount to anything. i’ve grown up with adults being financially unstable and insecure and trying to break that cycle is hard
I've definitely lived and felt all the things. Been up and down, but never felt secure ever.
I'm sending you so much love. I know what that feels like. 🥺🫂💛🌺🌻 I so sorry that this experience is so common. 💛💛💛
I understand ❤
Girl you are speaking this morning. This is EVERYTHING I feel but I feel no one understands.
You are creating some of the most raw, vulnerable, and valuable content on RUclips. This is the kind of content underrepresented on the platform.
I am HONORED. 🥹 Thank you so much for sharing such kind and generous words with me. It can be discouraging to share your heart ans you wonder if you are actually making a difference. Bless you. Much love and joy to you! 🌻💛🌺
Just a tip, Amazon has relatively inexpensive bed frames. You can choose from selections of inexpensive and stylish bed frames for as little as $89 and upward. You can purchase very good quality memory foam gel mattresses for as little as $300( some cost less). These mattresses often offer greater comfort than the aggressively marketed posturepedics. I hope this helps. No one pulls themselves up by their bootstraps. We live in a networking society. Hopefully, it will be a more fair than hierarchal systems, particularly in the workplace- but then you must be good at networking ( fitting in). Life in the US can draining.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me and ALL of us. Bless you. Thank you. 🥹🫂🌺🌻💛
People are afraid of it because the media has made it seem like everybody you don't know is a serial killer or out to decieve or get one over on you but Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace are great resources.. I got my Tuft mattress for $30 (no bedbugs and clean - I also washed the mattress cover) , it's a $500+ mattress . I've had it for years at this point and it's insanely comfortable. When I graduate Uni and had no money, I also got a nice bed frame of Craigslist for $25 , the sellers even helped transport it to my place. Ive sold things in good condition on those sites myself for cheap because I needed the item gone , it's a good resource.
I got mine from Amazon ✨
We need to donate to her patron if she has one or buy her song 🎶 if we can.
I once bought a mattress in a box that comes out inflated from walmart for like 60 bucks, had that baby for years it was comfortable, research mattress in a box lol
OMG I was just thinking about the group labeled 'essential workers' during the crisis, but have always been treated like crap 🤔. We're always talking about who deserves more/less money, but also want all of our products at the push of a button. If you don't appreciate the labor of the 'poors', do everything yourself and then watch the world complain about the lack of convenience. You can never make enough money to be above gratefulness. So much more I can say...LOVE YOU 🩷💛🧡
I did office work for 27 years and then held a 2nd PT retail job, for 17 1/2 years and in 7/2014 I was given FT employment there and worked thru the pandemic and people came in their maskless ready to infect me with COVID. People hate other people.
I think part of what's driving people's condemnation of poor people is self-hate because they know they're one missed paycheck away from homelessness themselves.
Yep, fear and loathing
Ppl are dead ass annoying and ignorant. And then ppl love to put jobs in your face and giving unsolicited advice on what jobs to apply for and not considering things like discrimination towards certain intersections and mental health/disabilities. The elites created classism specifically to cause separation of the ppl. Theres power in community, strength in numbers
Facts
Thank you for your honesty. There are so many people, highly educated or not, that are poor. They just don’t talk about it openly.
Ooooh so many topics you've hit here. I've had a fair share of financial ups and downs, and those downs have formed permanent scars around spending money. The little financial literacy I had was knowing not to fuck up my credit. But when I lost my job, on the brink of losing my home and supporting my family, I had no choice but to go into credit card debt for basic things like gas, supplies, and groceries. My credit score tanked. 8 months later, after finally landing a decent-paying job at a well-off company, my boss treated me and my team to lunch to celebrate at a fancy restaurant. I struggled to order anything over $20 for myself, even though I wasn't paying. There's so much guilt and anxiety we hold around being in so much scarcity that it changes our perception of our self-worth and what we believe we deserve to enjoy.
Oh! And, not to mention, it's legal in some states for some jobs to retract their job offer to you if they find you have a poor credit score. So, another example of how it's a crime to be poor.
I can not even tell you how happy I am to have found your channel. Poverty shaming when most of us are poor is insanity. We are so used to being cruel to each other.
What's worse is growing up poor in a large family, saving money and sacrificing all of your life, retiring early because you were successful and amassed a good sum...but still feel trapped in that same mindset. I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life but, that voice in the back of my head that says, "be careful" or "do you really need that" never goes away!
🗣️LISTEN TO THAT VOICE!!! it could be your intuition, warning, you that someone somewhere, a family member, friend, or lover is plotting your financial ruin by any access point they can can enter at at! 🫵🏽 You better stay calm, distanced, & woke 👁️ !!! Don’t be paranoid & do super irrational shii about what you noticing. Just make a mental note 👁️. Then go about protecting your peace ☮️ & financial stability. It’s not just your trauma from a past of poverty messing with you. It’s your intuition & divine protection nudging you to wake up to what’s really going on.
I just read a comment on another video I was watching to heal your root chakra to release this fear. ❤
Wow. I never thought about that.
Alecia, this is so true! There's so much trauma that comes with poverty because there's so much shame, even when it was far beyond our control. The way people without homes are treated is so awful. And the way we are brainwashed to believe that service or labor jobs are less honorable and less deserving is WEIRD! Thank you for sharing. And the song is BEAUTIFUL!
Just wanted to write this: I watch you with your husband - you are not poor.
I watch you with your mother and talk about the loving bonds in your family- you are not poor. I listen to the strength of your intellect and love for humanity; your ability to speak truth coherently and lovingly - You are not poor. The ones who look down on you don’t matter anyway and the community and love that you have is something some of the richest people can only wish for.
That's so beautiful. Thank you. 🥹🫂🌺🌻🥰
❤
I'm reading a book called "Tightwads and Spendthrifts" by Scott Rick, so this is timely. I'm trying to reset my mindset because the "post-brokeness stress disorder" is real. even when you're okay financially, the fear that it'll all disappear keeps cropping up. ♥️ thanks for sharing because this is very real.
I needed this. I’m a college grad and one of the the poorest kids growing up in my extended family. Now back to this post grad.
5:27 I think most people lack self esteem, so they look to others to make themselves feel better.
Ive done everything right graduated highschool, went to college, have been working since I was 18 but Im currently 26 and had to move back in with my parents because after covid it became literally impossible for me to survive on my own. And at that point, I chose a bad time to move out because it was right before the pandemic only lived alone for a year.
I felt pretty embarrassed by that for a while and some ppl in my family didn't make it any better. But I know I literally did everything I could've possibly done. I saved up the money and didn't spend foolishly, worked full-time, but it just wasn't possible. And because I don't have kids, I couldn't qualify for any government assistance to make it all more bearable.
I had some ppl give me the bad advice of getting into a relationship so I can have somebody to help me pay on the bills. But thats not at all a good reason to start a relationship, and I also don't like the idea of living with a bf, especially one that I just started seeing.
I hear you! I’ve been working since I was 12 and I’m like how just how?! I wish I was taught about index funds and compound interest when I started working. I would have been able to retire by now. Grateful for financial educators like Tiffany Aliche (Bugetnista) and Ramit Sethi 🙏🏽💰💃🏽
Same here! 🫂💛🌻🌺 That information is kept away from us on purpose
.. Or they make it sound really unaccessible with language. But like you, I am so glad that people are being generous and kind enough to share. And share in an accessible way. It's wonderful! 💛🫂🥹
I know how you feel but it’s never too late. I started investing in index funds when I started working around 25 years old. I wish I would have started at 18 but of course the USA public school system doesn’t teach relevant skills.
For those that may have bug infestations. A big trick I learned is to go outside the house and spray bug spray around the perimeter of the home. More specifically, the perimeter is the area where the floor of the house meets the wall of the house. To find that, look inside any of your rooms, you see where the floor meets the bottom of the wall? Then go outside and spray where the two connect. If you see a line of ants walking up the side of your home from the ground, that is where your ant problem is coming from. Spray that line, and walk all around your house spraying the connecting point of where the wall meets the floor. It should stop or slow down that particular infestation. Ants are clever and might develop a new line to try and march up the outside brick base of your house a few days later. For this, you might need some commercial pesticide to reside on the outside wall of your home. Also baits work too. Hopefully this information helps someone. 😍
Thank you so much for sharing this with us ☺️🌺💛🫂
It's not poor! It's a temporary financial challenge. Everyone is challenged at a different level.
It's not you but the system. Do what you can and be good with you. We need more representation
from the working class, vote for someone in the same boat as you.
❤❤❤
Very true even in these conditions I won’t let poverty take my life away I will not die poor and hungry. 🙏🏽
I currently live in my mother's partially renovated garage...and I was even ashamed to articulate the feeling of 'poverty trauma' as you say. Thank you for sharing.
Thank your mother, and the most high you have an option. That's a blessing. 🙏🏾
I'm sorry, but for repaying people back, even small increments help. If you say you're paying something back, then do that even if it takes forever. For me it's a spiritual guilt of not keeping my word. I'm slowly paying my sister back because she helped me, I want to pay her twice as much as she helped me even if it takes five years, ten years, I want to help her too.
That part about over explaining and over sharing hit home for me. Like whoo I struggled for years as a single mother and none of my sibling or family really ask how I’m doing or my child for that matter. They say I can reach out for help but when I do I feel like I gotta answer a million questions before they help me out and it just made me not wanna ask at all, just try to do the best I can.
Same! People get so nosy when you ask for help. They want to know everything. One of my friends moms bought me a bed because they didn’t like that i was sleeping on an air mattress. Now she’s always asking me if i paid rent like that’s any of her business but no i didn’t! And then she acts like im a psycho because i want to go see a dodgers game next month. Like i don’t deserve baseball because i couldn’t afford rent or a bed. And i have a gift card for the tickets so that’s not even cash money i would be spending 😓 it’s just so embarrassing to be poor.
@@lexa_power isn't a dodgers game less than rent inherently? not that it would matter either way, but it's always hilarious when ppl act like a single purchase under $100 has anything to do w/ being able to constantly cough up thousands for rent each month. the whole system is a joke and some so-called 'allies' are even more of a nuisance stg
This video was so powerful. I work at a Homeless advocacy agency and the systemic injustices in place have impacted generations of people. Praying for us all. Thank you for being you.
Tell the truth, Alecia! We’ve all been there. While going through a brutal divorce I had to sell furniture and clothes to feed my children. This manufactured shame has got to go. No one, no other human has the right to judge us. And no one has walked in your bare feet. Your experiences create your wisdom. Love all of who you are and who you have been. Love yourself exactly as who you are in this perfect moment. ❤
Wiping tears too! You are not alone!
This.... I needed to read this. Thank you so much. 🥹🫂💛🌺🌻 I am grateful for you. Seriously. I also cheer for you. 💛💛💛
Thank you for this. I needed these words that I know and believe but needed reaffirmed ❤
@@AleciaRenece Back atcha❤
@@MsMizz1❤
America is sick and twisted. It’s like the hunger games.
I feel all of this! Esp not having a job right now at 24 I feel very ashamed to live with my mom and parents can make you feel Shame if you have no money to give I have been feeling so unworthy and a lack there of, my mom also has this friend who constantly judges me and makes me feel less than like I’m not doing enough and mask it as “you’re doing nothing I’m better than you and your family” I always felt she was a sly person I no longer like interacting with her.
My ex is from East Africa. When he was growing up, people helped each other. If someone watched the neighbor’s kids, as a gift of appreciation, they would give produce from the garden, or eggs from the farm, or a bag of corn etc.
TO ME BEING THANKFUL FOR WHAT I GOT TAKES THE PLACE OF BEING POOR...
That's beautiful 🥹💛🌻🌺🫂 I just wish we were also cared for as well.
I live in the SF Bay Area and you are so right, Alecia! I work 2 jobs, one as a licensed teacher with a masters degree, and I’m poor.
In addition, we have a huge homeless population. It breaks my heart because they are so mistreated. For everything you shared in this video, I can think of an example I witness in everyday life. The level of greed and capitalism we live under has been weighing so heavy on my spirit lately. Your videos make me feel seen and validated that I’m not crazy. People don’t care enough anymore.
Also, I love your wage slave song! Thank you for being vulnerable with us. May the universe always provide for you 🙏🏿 ✨
❤❤❤ OMG, I'm in a very similar situation with a Masters as well!
I totally agree with everything you said. I hate being poor and way people treat you. They feel you deserve the worst. Not everyone has family to fall back on.
THIS! Thank you so much for sharing this truth. No one is self made. We all need community. The wealthy saying they're self made are lying. We're all made up of each other. Everyone doesn't have the support they need. I wish more people understood this.
The reality is things are getting even more expensive. So more and more people will have financial difficulties. But we have a culture where people with less resources are shamed. And they’re told it’s your fault, too bad. Or if someone is homeless - people say they’re on drugs, when someone can be homeless for many different reasons. We often don’t acknowledge that many of these issues are systemic, and safety nets are very thin. The US has the smallest safety net of all of the western nations.
If you believe everything you see on social media you'd think everyone had money like that.
I had a high school friend and young adult friend who was in my life and I was divorcing a narcissistic and I was freaking out ..she gave me a couple hundred and told others and I couldn't pay her back ...I would've worked it off I was crazy and depressed and it taught me if I've got anything you can have it , this has happened a couple of times because I finally got a medical job , still had 2 kids to support...I really learned the meaning of friends and Christians
I was told that me being poor was due to me thinking in lack. A scarcity mindset. That I don’t think in abundance.
Then I thought about my childhood. And how horrible my mom was with money & how my family viewed money in an unhealthy way.
That negative thinking imprinted on my subconscious which created my reality of being “poor.”
Once I made the needed changes, subconsciously & changed my frequency, the money started to come from all kinds of things.
But that’s just me. And my own path. My life is like night and day. I’m so grateful and blessed. I thank the universe & my higher self all the time.
Also I learned the power of the tongue. What you say shows up in different ways. I don’t speak certain words I don’t hang around certain people. That has helped tremendously. This took me 7 years. I have more than enough now. All my bills are paid. I don’t have any debt. And I have my health. I cry because I can’t even complain. The gratitude.
My husband - who is a minister - was/is on disability. He couldn't afford suits and giving each Sunday to the point that he would make a decision to not got to church because he said people saw him a certain way and expected him to give each Sunday and he didn't have it. And when he did give, because you put your name and amount on the envelope, he heard some deacons making fun of how he gave so after that, he stopped putting his name on the envelope. Disclaimer: ALL churches do not do this, but some might have a certain culture that involves dressing up a certain way and so on. When you don't have it to participate in its "traditions", you'll stay away.
Thank you for sharing this. This is so real.
Putting names on a giving envelope is absolutely insane.
Church is a scam.
Your introspection is highly evident, else you could not offer such truths steeped in emphanty and sober observations. I don't know what else to say. Only that I am grateful for your voice. Thank you, Alecia.
I live by myself. I deal with A LOT because I know I can’t go back home. So, although it has been a struggle to keep my apartment, to keep the lights on, to keep my car, etc, I’m so afraid of not having, to where I only get the max of 10 hrs of sleep, but I have to work, pay these bills on my own and finish school.
The acceptance of a “minimum” wage is telling of the oppressed and the oppressor. We are ALL participating in the system, allowing it to exist by acceptance of one reality being the ONLY reality possible. We must ALL shift….there’s no one who is unimportant for this change. We all have to be the message and the messenger, living it. Thank you for your Voice. ❤❤❤
Holy shite!!! this is so very true. The interesting thing is that unless these people were born wealthy, they forget that they were once poor and they have no compassion. AND they seem to be less generous now that they can give more. Thank you for always saying what needs to be said. I love you. I have never considered it before, but "buying your way out of judgement" hits just right.
You feel guilty for treating yourself to nice things.
Yesss. I felt that to my core.
Trader Joes? That specialty store is overly expensive!
Hi I have gotten myself out of poverty in one generation and now make a livable wage. The problem is that poverty scarcity fear that followed me like a wild dog and the desperate need to help all those around me. Even though I can afford so many things I feel guilty to live better now.
This. I would cry if I saw my bank account decreasing. The fear of being broke again gripped me.
i feel it’s good to say that i’m spiritually rich, that’s something a lot of ppl can’t account for
Thank you for sharing this. Experiencing poverty is expensive on so many levels. There is little or no buffer room for anything, which adds pressure.
Sending you much kind energy and support in sharing your experience and thoughts.
I truly think family should do what they can to help family. The idea that family members should be able to struggle because they're short of cash is foreign to me. If you do it, be sure that it's a gift. Forcing repayment only breeds animosity. You may be the one in need someday!
Sitting down with my notes 📝 YES to all of this. Having worked behind the scenes now, I've seen how the system of poverty is gleefully maintained. It is SICK. I literally sat in meetings with people laughing about poverty. Devoid of humanity. Thank you so much for sharing this with us 🤎🤎🤎
It makes me cry like once a week. I tell my sis all the time I make 120000 so she makes 120000. We as human beings are so inhumane.
Explain
The video hits home on so many levels. The shame and humiliation from being poor is one many have experienced. You really voiced the minds of many
I’m so glad I came across your video. I often feel guilty that I’m not “grinding” to have the finer this in life. But dammit! I don’t have the energy or the desire to “grind”. I work full time and attend nursing school full time. For me, that’s enough! And if I was no so tired of being a Cna, I would not even go back to school. Being broke is scary and tiring.
@@deescorpio8454 that is MORE than enough. 🥹🫂💛✨🌻🌺 You're doing great. It's not your fault. This system is eating us all alive. Take care of yourself. Love yourself well. You should be so proud of you. Look at you surviving and being. Much love and joy to you!!!
Socializing and dating has really been challenging with inflation. I’m at the point where I’m honest and ask to do picnics or low cost activities in nature. And I manage money well but can’t justify spending $50+ each time I step into a bar or lounge. Sadly people still feel pressure to spend in this economy.
I work two jobs in education and still technically make poverty wages. So I understand what you mean with the poverty jokes and people shaming those that don’t make 6 figures.
I wish we would normalize low cost dates more in the beginning stages. I think everyone is still trying to keep up the façade of pre pandemic wages
@@lalat5899i dont mind coffee dates. Unfortunately many men have big (sex) expectations the more they spend early on.
omgosh yes, I literally wont date because it cost to look good and I'm afraid im going to run out of money and the guy finds out..
That’s so real about not being able to check yourself into the psych ward because you have bills. Right now I’m having a bad time mentally and want to check myself in somewhere but i am chained to my mailbox because im appealing my unemployment claim so i can’t go to the hospital now. And i don’t have any friends or family who would check the mail for me. And if i miss my appeal hearing im back to square one for why im depressed (capitalism / poverty). So there’s no point to get treatment now.
its really horrible that we have this guilt, especially because there has to be poor people for capitalism to function. someone has to be at the bottom out of necessity and yet we're shamed for it anyway...
The facets of your intelligence are boundless Alecia. Your verbiage. Your points. 😑
👑👏👏👏👏
What are we going to do😞. This is such a bad time to be completely alone with no help. Speaking for myself, all of this greed and inflation is giving me great stress.😕
This conversation is so important.
I feel this. I feel unqualified to be a father, I feel unqualified to date, I feel unqualified to rest, etc.
Wow.. I’m a parent and I felt all of this. Feeling unqualified to parent . Man!!! 🔥
Wow. I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned in this video is that I am poor, yet I’ve convinced myself otherwise because of the judgment. I literally believed that it was poor money management- not realizing that I literally didn’t have enough.
I think about how at this point, even love and relationships are at our expense, we see poor people and think they don’t deserve companionship. At least that’s the message today.
So many words for this video. Thanks for creating!! And yes. I used to work at McDonald’s, absolutely loved the people I worked with. There was no egos and there was something about us all working together that felt like a family. I think all service jobs feel like that. Plus, sadly, but that’s where a lot of blacks are relegated in society and shamefully(socially deemed), those jobs are sometimes the most enjoyable cause the people and connections feel like home. There’s profound community in those jobs.
As tough as my old job @ JoAnn fabrics was, it was my coworkers that made my mf day when dealing w/shady corporate junk (the same shit that likely led to the company declaring bankruptcy woot woot!!!)
I think it stings when you get other black people looking down at you from the outside. I remember one of the most frustrating things was some 60-something black woman getting frustrated with my not being able to find an item she wanted + she screamed @ me for like 15 min about how my white coworkers are better than me. And as a manager I had to just stand there and be deferential when I was being disrespected.
(coming from Flint, mi.)......I miss pre 1984 Jo-Ann's (when the executives bought out the founding family).....they just made that same mistake AGAIN....as they were sold to a leverage investment company this year! (with the same problems).......
Grew up very poor but now I'm comfortable. I'm able to pay my bills comfortably. I hate spending money on nonessentials and I have a lot of anxiety around money. I want to leave my job but I know without it i'm in trouble.
Idk, if I loan u money and u dont pay me back, even a lil at a time, thats wack. U needed it and I came thru, why avoid me now and not pay back 🤷🏽♀️ I had a friend borrow $500 then got real distant. She said moneys tight and she aint got it. But she took her kids to cedar point and got new furniture. She coulda gave me $20 a week forever idc. But she threw away a friendship cause she played a very generous person, why?
That's why I said I don't LOAN money. I just give it. I'm not a loan shark. I'm not a bank. I'm trying to be a generous person. If I NEED someone to pay me back, I probably should not give it in the first place. 🤷🏾♀️💛 That's just my personal belief. That's also irresponsible and living outside of my means. We're not corporations. We're not banks. This is mutual aid.
Also, I'm not talking about people who steal. What you're describing is theft. I'm talking about people who literally CANNOT pay you back. 💛💛💛
@@tiptoethroughthetilups8525 now, that's OBVIOUSLY not what I said. Come on now. Let's not do this. Let's not conflate lying and theft with asking for charity... They're not the same.
Where in the video did I ever say any of what you just said.....? I didn't. This is you projecting your thoughts onto me and this person's conversation.
I never said that. Asking for money while telling someone you'll pay them back is called theft and lying. 😅 I'm not an advocate of either. But I AM an advocate of being honest and asking for help.
I've literally had to open a gofundme to get one of my cars fixed (the engine died). I told them straight up what the issue was and that I probably couldn't pay them back.
The thing is, y'all gonna find a way to criticize no matter what I say, so I'm kinda over it.
12:46 Also some that make it out and become successful tend to look down on those that weren't able to get out and become successful and they say things like 'if I did it, you can do it' and honestly that's not always true. Yes thank God that you made it out, but just because someone else doesn't make it out, does not mean they weren't trying and utilizing everything they have within. Sometimes it just doesn't work out with no blame on the person...
Not loan shark trying to break your knees 😂 but it’s so true
Ahhhhhhhh! 😂🤣💛💛💛 You feel me! 🌻🫂🌺
I didn't grow up poor, but we weren't rich. My dad was bad with money and extremely cheap with his children. He would guilt trip me for anything I wanted that was deemed as a "luxury" (which were really necessities). I still have so much trauma around money that I'll probably never fully unpack.
Phew! *BIG HUGS* I completely understand that. Having people around you, especially parents, "pocket watching" creates a LOT of anxiety.
There are things I STILL feel guilty about buying, even though I needed it. 🥺🌻💐
I'm sending you so much love. Thank you so much for sharing this with us!
We can definitely pick up our parents' anxieties and fears around money. 💛💛💛
Thiiiiiiiis. The parents living beyond their means to put up a facade to other ppl meanwhile our water getting shut off by the county .
I can't even explain how biographical this video is for me . . . it's a whole soul-ectomy. I managed to keep it together 'til your song. Thank you for the cleansing. ❤️🩹😢💯
In December of 2020 I left an organization that I had worked for 15 years. I cashed out my 401k. Doing that allowed me a season of financial freedom in 2021. I was able to swipe and not consider and it was ELITE! I couldn’t help but think ..Wow this is what people get to experience. Majority of my adult life I’ve worked only being able to cover basic living expenses and not much else. And this is with a degree! I’m making more money now than I’ve ever made but due to inflation it’s like nothing has changed for me financial 😕
It is the most stressful experience.
@36:10: Contentment is what we all want. AMEN!!!! Live and let live. When judgment arises, I take it as an opportunity to ask where I lack contentment. Because if I'm putting my energy toward that pursuit, I don't have time for anything else.
Alecia, let me begin by saying I love you, and I see you. Your content is always on point. You have a beautiful soul with a heart of gold. If only there were billions of more people like you, who see the good and value in everyone. Your music is incredible, I can totally relate to today's video. I also grew up poor and was made to feel less than.I am a highly sensitive person, so I intentionally keep my circle small. I refuse to try to keep up with the Jones's. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and no weapons formed against me will prosper. Keep doing and being true to yourself, sis.