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Levi Korean Adoption Grieving Update Months 6-7
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- Опубликовано: 22 фев 2021
- This video is the story of our international adoption of our son Levi during the Coronavirus Covid-19 pandemic. He was 16 months old at the time of the adoption. This video is an update on Levi's grieving process at 6-7 months post adoption.
The only family on RUclips who are honest about the adjustment and grieving period. Anyone who is thinking about adopting NEEDS to watch this.
Agree 💯💯💯💯💯💯
So true
Less obsessed with food, less triggered by food in books, fewer diaper changes, better behavior during diaper changes, less defiance, more, and longer interactions with his brothers, improved sleeping. Little Levi has made progress & no doubt has a way to go but he’s so much better off at home with his new family.
My heart goes out for you. I can’t even start imagining how you are coping with all this. Please, take care of yourself.
Your honesty is refreshing. You never see videos addressing such sensitive issues. It’s bound to be reassuring to families going through similar issues. You are doing great!
the trauma may live on into his adult years, but as long as you are persistent and not negligent like my adoptive parents were, then he will do fine. the fact that you care enough to share the experience with integrity and centering the focus on him, tells me as a korean transracial adoptee that he is well on his way to that. he will do fine with such great parents!
I LOVE you for posting, for being a family who believes and practices God centered living and for getting through this. Prayers still
I’m so impressed with how they are teaching him to pray and he’s so cute dancing with the guitar. I wished I had been more diligent in having the kids pray like she said Levi is the prayer police, lol, and he calls them out if they forget to pray. Don’t get me wrong I homeschooled and prayer was the first order of the day and all my curriculum was Christ centered but I could have done a little better. Esther has a lot more patience than I would have running around cleaning up messes!
@@katluann i love that most viewers are so honest. We can all do better with different things. God is patient...I hope 😄
@@katluann I'm sure you did just fine. My daughter married our pastors son and I always thought they were perfect but was surprised to hear his mom say she felt like she was a failure at times. We are hardest on ourselves; we would never dream of being that harsh on another mom lol
Wow, what a good mommy you are. The fact that Levi is able to express his emotions now instead of always stuffing them down with food is fantastic! The proof is in the pudding; you're a healthy family unit. 💜🙏🌈
This all sounds very normal. Eating and going to the toilet are one of the few things that have been a comfort to orphans, the only things they could feel some kind of control . They are used to not getting their needs met and testing boundaries is a natural thing.
He’s living his life over again from an infant stage with eating frequently and not much sleep. The trauma and loss they have been through should never be underestimated!! He just needs to be loved through it❤️
Oh...that really hit my soul....I'm crying.
I totally agree with you 👏🏼
Yes I agree with you
You should watch Knorpp and South.
Well said...he certainly needs lots of love ❤❤❤
Your videos are so well produced and professional. It’s like a tv show. Please never let the negative or know-it-all comments discourage you. Your honesty and transparency is absolutely helping people.
I miss you guys!!!!!!
As a Korean adoptee (through Holt), I am so touched by the thoughtfulness of you and your whole family to the needs of this little human - love so completely honest and real, it will definitely endure the hardships you are experiencing! We are all searching to heal and be made whole, to be able to love ourselves completely, as our maker loves us completely, so that love fills us from within to runneth over to all else from that acceptance. 🙏🙏💕
Thank you so much for taking your precious time to make this video. I wouldn't have known the struggles of adopting if it it wasn't for your honest videos. Thank you. You are an amazing mom!
I’m happy to hear of his improvements. It takes some children a long time to emotionally adjust. My best friends adopted child was peeing everywhere and destroying the kitchen overnight, on top of other issues. He got over his insecurities and doesn’t behave that way anymore. Please don’t listen to the negative comments or anyone telling you what to post. This is your channel.
Esther, our blessings are evolving keep the faith, my prayers to you and your family, You and David are such good parents, so patient. Love your message.
We are missing your updates! I hope to see you all soon!
It’s refreshing hearing about the reality of Adoption. People have fantasies in their head that things will be perfect, or if they know it’ll be hard they don’t really know what hard means. All adoptive parents should have to be a part of discussions like these before bringing him a child.
Girl! He is sooo lucky that he got you! That sounds like SOOOOO much to go thru for 7 months when yall just wanted to help and do your part. All the blessings to you 🙏 and yours. It sounds like because you have been so consistent this kid will have such a solid foundation and be such a great man.
He's becoming a total Brat! Bust his Butt!
Way do you let him eat so much your the mom take control of that little Monster
@@judynajar3506 wow you sound like a great parent, truly a paragon of motherhood.
Levi is so fortunate to have loving and patient parents like you. You just have to remember baby steps. Hes been thru so much and it will take time to repair that.
I’m glad things are getting a bit better for you. I honestly don’t know how you are coping. You seem so calm. It must be so draining for you.
Thank you for posting your honest experiences. I never imagined that the process could be so long and intense. Hang in there.
you really are amazing. I appreciate your honesty about this journey, and your grace in working with Levi through his grief and trauma. Thank you for not minimising how hard this is for either him or for you. Please continue with your generosity of spirit, every child deserves such kindness and understanding. I hope that he brings you joy as well.
Hi Superwoman...I mean, Esther! Wow. I am so glad you're starting to see a little bit of improvement. I think about your family all the time since seeing your first videos. When you mentioned that some behaviors (diaper/food) are getting better, but his mental/emotional issues have escalated, it gives me the impression that in his own way he's really starting to trust. He's beginning to feel comfortable knowing you will always provide meals for him. I wonder if the mental/emotional issues are increasing because he is now feeling like the family/home is a safe place where he can openly express and show the pain he's feeling inside but not yet able to put into words? Are you seeing the adoption counselor yet? What a relief to go from 50 wake-ups per night to 3 (but it must be SO exhausting, still). Based on what you're saying, really believe 2021 is the year he'll start sleeping through the night. You're still climbing the mountain, but you're at the point where you can see the peak over the clouds. God Bless you all!
Oh Esther, I am so pleased to hear of the improvements in Levi's behaviour. I have three sons, and the oldest was very very difficult. There were home circumstances which were far from ideal, but even so, my oldest would constantly seek attention if I was on the phone during his waking hours. He too would take a chair and climb to get at his object, and his sleeping was also erratic. I assume that when Levi goes to destroy something it is a form of anger, but also attention seeking. I feel for you all, and hope that Seth and Ezra are not becoming traumatised by the situation. Thank you for answering my question on your previous video. Love and prayers from Susan in UK.
He is lucky to meet sweet family like These,
Thank you for your honesty. I think people try to make adoption look like a pretty package, and as BEAUTIFUL as it is, it is causing families to be blindsided and the children suffer, families suffer, marriages suffer because people are unprepared HONESTY is SO critical for the growth of the family AND children.
I am a 3 X adoptive Mommy and my children are my heartbeat.. But .. Yes, but when we are made to believe everything is sunshine and butterflies ( yes we know its not easy) then when the journey gets bumpy many fall apart.
Adoption is BEAUTIFUL .. It's HEART changing, it is AMAZING and it IS challenging. I wouldn't trade one second. These ARE MY Children. Period. But as with bio kids, it IS a journey and adoption has his hard moments like pregnancy. Tell a first time expectant Mom that this is the best time od her life and watch her wall through worry and fear when the PAIN of a growing baby happens. When sleep seems to hide from her.. When she jas a huge "test" coming up. Adoption needs to be HONEST AND CLEAR. For the sake of marriages, Families, and these precious little ones GOD HAS GIFTED US
Thank you for being honest. This may well save a child from being "rehomed" or abused or resented by a unprepared although loving family.
It IS a journey and journeys are beautiful, fascinating, and sometimes long and tiring.
Many Blessings to you and your precious family.
(I JUST found your channel and I am loving it!! Subbed and shared. Especially with those who jave glamorized this journey and are walking in UNPREPARED. For the sake of these greatest gifts.
mama, you are so loving and patient! Thank you for sharing your journey with us!
God bless you and give you the strength, wisdom, grace and peace you need for this mammoth task
Esther I've miss you guys so much.. levi couldn't have gotten better parents than you guys.. you are so patient gentle and loving... God chose you to love this child levi will make you proud don't give up... your hard work will pay off... may God continue to bless you and ur loving family sending you lots of love....
You are doing so well. As he ages his brain will develop more and he will begin to learn to manage his emotions. Stay strong. He is so young and has gone through so much trauma. When he's older, bring him to therapy to help him digest his emotions. Right now he cannot understand or process anything because he's too small. His acting out is showing the pain he has inside. You are doing so well!! As his brain develops he will improve. It's hard for young children.
I can believe how this baby only one and half years old walks around the farm all by himself and doing things that older children do.
Most babies his age are still in their mother arms.
When you said there has been an improvement i started smiling, when you said about him waking up in the night I was shocked it must have felt like you had a new born again. Thank you for posting this update so soon after the last one x
Esther, I’ve binge watched all your videos. Levi couldn’t have found a better family. You are an amazing mother, thats not only dealing with Levi’s grieving process, but are so attentive towards Ezra’s and Seth’s needs. Unbelievable people dare to comment on your parenting decisions.
This videos have taught me so much about adoption, options for a plant based diet and I’m even picking up a pair of Korean words from listening to your lovely family!
Also, I been meaning to tell you your skin looks amazing, with three little boys and all these difficult circumstances I hope you could share your skincare routine.
Take care of yourself please.
Prayers from México. 🇲🇽
God bless you and David for loving and nurturing your family. I want to encourage you and say you’re doing great raising these little boys. And also, please consider Levi’s behavior as evidence of an extremely high intellect. I have mulled it over and the fact that he immediately can associate abstract pictures such as fruit to the real thing is a sign of a brilliant mind. He is seeking outlet for his advanced thoughts. Please get him tested in MENSA and you will see. It’s all in the way you look at a situation. I will pray for your family so that you may find reserves of strength and endurance. TY for your videos!
Thank you so much for the updates. I am
So glad you started to see improvement in Levi around the end of month 7. It must have been so beyond exhausting to already have three kids 4 and under, and then to add on all of the things Levi was going through. I’m SO happy to hear of all the improvements Levi has made. Will you please think about getting a P.O. Box so we can send the boys little gifts?
You are doing great mom. Our father in heaven will keep guiding you and your husband on how to raise him and how to meet his needs. Be encouraged that the Lord placed Levi in your arms because he knows you have what Levi needs. He is your son and this stage will pass it will not be forever
Your doing a fantastic job mum. Be sure to make time for your self because its allot!
Thank you so much for the update. I have been wondering for some time now about Levi's progress. Praying that things will continue to improve and that God will continue to give your family strength, rest and peace as his progress moves forward. You are an awesome mom.
The "terrible 2s" don't exactly start at 2. I think that could be part of his behavior.
But I am very, very happy that this family is thriving and there is enough love to manage any challenges together, and overcome them
Love your family. Thank you for posting. Best wishes.
I just binged watched up to maybe episode 12? I love how often you praise the kids. "Good job" after every little thing they do, amazing.
Thank you for another update of your beautiful family Levi's improving so happy to hear it So much patience and 💘
You are a Saint for conveying all of this information. It’s so helpful! Love you
Hi Esther!. I think honestly you're doing a wonderful job. cannot help the fact that he IS a toddler. he will do these things. heck my kids did that too, acted out, got upset, obsessed with food. But you keep doing what you need to and stand your ground. They're just at the age to do that so not to worry, eventually he'll get there and we all can't wait to hear about when he does. lol. You folks are such a loving and caring family. He will get there, and when he grows up and sees all of these videos, he will love and appreciate his mommy and daddy even more for rescuing him and loving him as much as you two do. Take care and God Bless Esther, David and kiddos.
I stumbled onto your channel when I was searching for news about this korean adoptee baby girl Jungin. How I wish she had been adopted by a wonderful family like yours... God bless you and your family ❤
Thanks to youtube , I got to know such a beautiful family and your boys are really cute and I really wish you continue doing this until they grow up , imagine Levi and boys watching these videos when he grows up 😭
I am sooo happy that he finally calmed down for changing his diapers! You guys are amazing!
Yes...so many have been praying for all of them. I'm sure he was even wearing himself out not just mom and dad
So happy to hear that Levi is doing better. Sending well wishes to you and your beautiful family 💜
I am just curious about how your other boys handle this? Do they notice that Levi takes more attention? Do they ever talk about it?
He is being the baby he wasn't able to be previously. The eating and pooping and night waking is just like his baby stage, a stage that seems to have been missed out for him due to his lack of bonding/mothering at an earlier stage in his development. Some children deprived of nurturing head bang or rock to comfort themselves, he eats! Sometimes it is harder for the parent if there are other young siblings as he is developmentally so 'behind' them in development and cannot respond as they do or 'get' love as they seem to be able to do, and has no words to express himself emotionally. It really is baby steps and is very difficult to deal with, but when he cries at night, and you respond by going to him, it is starting to repair the damage and the damage will decrease in time when he is reassured that you will be there for him. Curent research points to the fact that a child who lacks early bonding with a parent and suffers emotional damage to the 'wiring' of the brain, with love and patience, can repair its own damage. It might be worth you looking up books and online work by the British child psychologist Margot Sunderland, particularly her work on the neuroscience of a childs brain relating to adoption and fostering. One site is 'The British Association for early childhoo education' . It's hard going,j but you are already making such good progress.
He was not starving in some orphanage somewhere, he was a well fed child in a foster family.......I fully understand his grieving for his foster mother and family they were all he had known and loved but this prolonged destruction of the house etc .....? Maybe this should tell us that the effect that ripping a small child from all they had ever known can be so catastrophic that maybe children should stop being transported about the globe in this way, on the other hand I’ve met numerous adopted children who don’t behave like this in any way, maybe Levi needs some firmer boundaries in order to feel safe.
@@swampophelia2098 Firmer boundaries? You think he is being naughty?! How come nobody sees that this child doesn't eat properly? He was put on some plant juice (a.k.a. milk) when they adopted him. Plus, he is forced to be vegan. Plus, his life is sad and it will continue to be so and he feels it.
I give you a lot of credit for your patience and understanding with Levi ! It all sounds so hard! High five 🖐🏻!
You’ve probably heard this before, but I recently took an adoption class by Karyn Purvis, and she said that kids with exposure in utero have extreme food cravings. Just something to look into if you haven’t already. So glad you are seeing improvements! You are doing a wonderful job with this precious little boy. Praying for his complete healing!
Yes I love Karen purvis. I have listened to many many of her podcasts
@@koreanfamilyadventures8140 LOVE her too! My oldest adopted child is 14, so glad I found Karyn Purvis when she was little. I hadn’t realized that certain drugs and alcohol exposures in utero can create specific intense cravings- specifically sugar for alcohol exposure, I can’t remember the different drug cravings but the science behind it was mind blowing. Always learning something new from her incredible work!
Sorry I have not followed closely to your updates. I just hv a nagging question. Could it be because he was fed a lot by his foster parent or he came from a meat based diet that he felt he’s not getting enough or what he wanted from a now plant based diet ? Please excuse my assumption. Thank you for sharing your experience and honesty with us. ❤️
You are doing such an amazing job. I cannot imagine how hard this has to be. Thank you for being so loving to this boy. He is so very lucky to have your family.
Looking forward to your next update!
You are so generous with your family journey. Thank you.
Are you guys alright bcz no update..
Many prayers are being offered up for you and David particularly for you. When things are the hardest please be comforted knowing how many people are petitioning GOD in love on your behalf.
I thinkyou are seeing some light, you are good people and he will make you proud
Omg you are such a wonderful parent thank god Levi has you I will pray for you
What a great post, I am amazed to hear it. greetings from Indonesia👍👍👍❤❤❤
Thanks Esther for the updates. Prayers for your family and Levi! Food dysregulation may be seen in childhood conditions such as a Prader Willis syndrome and others. Perhaps the regular pediatrician could provide some insight?
Where is your next update 🥺? I miss your family, please don't stop
So good to know Levi is making progress! 🥰
Hello! I hope everything is fine and the whole family is doing well!
I hope you and the family are doing well today. Thank you for being honest. ❤🙏🙏
Hi... Have you by chance looked into genetic testing? I have 6 month twin boys that have been diagnosed with this condition. Curious as to whether the obsession with food might be a symptom of a rare genetic disorder Prader-Willi Syndrome. There are also other symptoms that you mentioned such as the behavioural issues as well as issues with destruction that I have heard with other families with children with PWS. It’s just a thought that you may want to rule out.
Thank u for posting.U are such an inspiration
Thanks for sharing, your updates have been very helpful to us!
I’m glad that Levi is making improvements. We are starting our adoptive process this is extremely helpful thank you so much for sharing about families dealing with childhood trauma.
Well your a Saint! That’s just it because I didn’t have time to deal with so much out of one child or have the time to change so many diapers! That’s a lot! I couldn’t I had four under six years old. I would be exhausted. The other two Seth and Ezra must be suffering as well? Don’t pay attention to the nasty comments! Your doing the best you can. I wonder if Foster Mom had to deal with any of these behaviors? Since she got him as a infant probably not.
This is the best adoption channel on RUclips because you’re honest about the adjustment process, which is an extremely valuable service for people thinking about adoption. So many adoptive parents only share the sweet, easy things where their child looks cute but, that false front can cause prospective adoptive parents to develop imcorrect expectations and lead them to believe that once a child is home, things are peaceful and calm, the new child loves you immediately, the parents bond with the child, and all is right in the ww1p`r;``dr`
Your guys are doing a great job!
Yes it’s so sad but true which made me realize how important sharing this is. I feel so strongly that awareness in this subject is so vital for the future adoptive parents.
Have you thought maybe the reason why he is eating so much is because you switched him from meat based to plant based diet? I know when I switched temporarily, I was feeling constantly hungry until I got used to it. Not judging, just asking.
Finally! Thank you. It is so obvious.
Looking for another update
Hi!! Do you already have a new update for us? Hope you are all doing well!!
New sub! . I’m binge watching ! You’ve done so well with Levi . Fantastic !
how are YOU doing?? what do you need? I wish I could give you a hug
Levi is learning, continue the Way you are doing, And make sure to take care of yourself and your beautiful family will be fine! God Centered
I love your posting. Thanks for sharing it.
Please another grieving update. 8-9 months
God bless you all Good mommy and Daddy. Every body out there watching Please PRAY Pray pray for everybody there
thank you for your honesty
Missing you guys
Hello,
I hope you are all doing well,
Please update us soon if you can.
You are amazing. I don’t think I could have handled it for so long
you are amazing in your love for this child.
So glad there are improvements. However, I believe there are some underlying issues with Levi. For all you people who think otherwise, I bet an update in a year or two he will have ongoing, persistent or another issue. I know many adoptive parents and this amount of behavior issues is NOT normal grieving. Non stop eating, destroying the household, fighting/physical confrontation, getting up non stop after all these months and the other issues needs intensive interventional therapy. This mom is a saint but she will burn out, breakdown or have problems with the other children in the near future. The other boys will suffer as a result of the chaos in this household! My question is was the foster parent questioned about his previous behavior as an infant?
@@ilovekas948 Possibly, I am and certainly understand normal vs abnormal transitional adjustment. I am delighted there are changes in the right direction. Also I must mention excessive caloric intake ie food obsession has other ramifications. Unless you have something positive to respond to other people opinions whether professional or not, I suggest refrain on other productive comments. Intensive therapy for the entire family for the sanity of all is much encouraged. We do not know what took place prior to his adoption. 4-5 bananas are not ok. Again I suggest a mothers helper to watch him at all times when the parents are tending to other children or household tasks.
Every child is different. Like another commenter said, he is going back to his infant stage of development. Levi is learning that his new family will meet his needs. It is common for traumatized children to act half their age. And leaving his foster parents was more trauma. A new house and new family is more trauma. So you can not compare how he acted with his foster family to his adoptive family.
Ilovekas948, why do you feel the need to be so snooty and rude? Everyone can have a voice on this platform. Geez, mind your own dang business!
Wondering how you and your family are doing? Hoping all finds you well and life is improving.
Praying for your lovely family! ♥️
It is so sad that the family is so distressed
You are awesome! Thank you for charing 💕
8-9 month grieving update?
It is very interesting to learn and hear this. Just asking myself, what if Levi sees this video's when he is older...Aren't you afraid for that?
No, we are very transparent with our parenting. We have no desire to tell him everything was good, but to be very transparent and let him know that the beginning was possibly the hardest and the toughest of what we had to go through together (he as well) and that was all in the name of trauma. He will never be able to heal unless he realizes how big the trauma was and work through those. We make these videos for other adoptive parents so they are prepared for the reality that is ahead, because when something so hard and so long catches you off guard, and the adoptive parents suffer, ultimately the one who suffers is the child. It is directly correlated, and these info needs to be shared so other adoptive parents understand how to navigate through this long and difficult journey ahead of them.
@@koreanfamilyadventures8140 Thank you for answering. Be careful that your child won't be a object of study instead of being a child...😕
Thank you!Again you hit the mark.
I just join your channel and it is great that you open your heart to a child. I hope Levy gets better and better. I hope you give him a lot of affection, hugs and kisses. You talk about him as if were an adult and you probably do not realize that he is still a baby. Maybe you were not ready to adopt a child. Please stop criticizing him and instead give him more love.
You are not in her shoes to judge, she had already two biological children of her own and did not need to adopt. But this wonderful couple , generous in heart decided to give a family to an orphan child. Not many women in her place would have the courage to deal with such a difficult child, his behavior affects all the family and her own children. It is very tiring day by day to deal with these constant extreme behavioral issues. She does not sleep, she is physically and mentally tired. To be totally honest, I would not be able to deal with such a difficult situation, it affects her children, affects her health. If I saw there was really no improovent with time, I would give the child back to save the physical and mental health of my family.
RUclips has been hiding your videos 😩, also you haven’t uploaded in 2 months.
You have the patience of Job! I don't think I would have adopted when I already had my own biological children, especially knowing what a trial it can be for them to adjust.
Hi I really love your videos, but just wondering does Levi still talk to his foster mom ?
thank you for the update. it would have been nice to see little Levi in this post though
Are you planning on giving another update soon I know your almost a year now in right?
Praying for your family.