13 ODDLY SPECIFIC CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ISSUES/TRIGGERS
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 9 июн 2024
- *FOR MORE INFORMATION ON DR. KIM SAGE'S ONLINE COURSES
AND FREE CHECKLIST:
www.drsagehelp.com
Tik Tok. / drkimsage
Instagram: / drkimsage
Online courses: www.drkimsage.thinkific.com
Thank you to Patrick Teahan LICSW on RUclips for his always incredible work and heart sharing content here and for inspiring this video! 👏👏👏🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Video clips from Pexels🩷🩷
Insight Timer App- the app I referred to for sleep and other meditations 🧘🧘♀️🧘♂️🩷🩷🩷
One of my triggers is: Sensing someone else being triggered by something you say or do and them not being aware of it and then blaiming you.
Reason: Growing up with an undiagnosed/untreated borderline mother.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for being here and sharing your time, hearts and thoughts!!! 200k just blows my mind!!❤❤❤❤ sending all my love - today and every day 🩷🩷🙏🏻🙏🏻🩷🩷
If anything, I’m always happy for those who have been treated well with respectful, love and compassion or whatever they have.. just cause I am at a lack doesn’t mean I can’t be happy for them. I think the only thing I may be concerned about is that people may have a lot or whatever but are they substituting for greater things in life which is Connection, compassion, active, listening, proper ways to overcome a difference & mutual respect.
Something that I can give you an example, which is really hard to hear, is how my mother can be sober for my sister-in-law with important conversations, yet with me, when I actually was triggered, and in a trauma program as she was to be my back up plan .. to stay at their place that night because I do cold sweats while I sleep unconsciously…
My mother could not not have two drinks that night …
It was painful to hear my mother say she was sober having an important conversation with my sister-in-law yet I was also happy for my sister-in-law that she was able to get that AND it doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt or sting to know that I have never been able to receive that and especially during a time where I really needed her to be there and sober…
It’s some thing that I’ve had to radically accept last year on top of everything else that is painfully happened.
Thank you for your videos, I really appreciate them. 🙏✨💕
:) Ouch... 13/13 - How are all these "oddly specific" issues part of my daily routine? Thank you for helping me to shed light on why I feel so off all the time!
🥰🥰🥰 You have a great sense of humour Dr Kim. I can see it. Thanks for all your great videos 🥰🥰🥰
🥰🥰🥰 You have a great sense of humour Dr Kim. I can see it. Thanks for all your great videos 🥰🥰🥰
So grateful to find people who understand trauma, parenting. Autism/ADHD and so many other issues.
I can truly relate to your experiences as I’ve been healing myself in one way or another for most of my life. At 63, b 64 August 24, 2024 Gosh I hope it means I can start thriving in a healthy way finally.
Progress not perfection.
Thank you 🤍
Yes to 12 out of 13 of these. I can't imagine what life must be like not to function this way! Another one for me is being left out, rejected on forgotten about in group situations. I think that comes from feeling unseen and like I don't matter. Thanks for such a validating and insightful video and Happy Christmas to you Dr Sage ❤❤
My mother still "jokes" that I need to put makeup on because without it I'm hideous. It makes me angry. I spend most of my time not bothering now.
Yes…. “I DONT MATTER” was a big one. Thanks for all your helpful work. LOVE ❤❤❤
One trigger for me is when I witness attention seeking behaviour. All of it, histrionic, passive aggressive, victimhood, martyrdom. It all reminds me of my mother and her antics to always have the focus on her.
1.) Sudden shift in anger
2.) Other people's homes
3.) Receiving feedback
4.) People complaining
5.) Medical professional
6.) Food
7.) Otherness
8.) Makeup
9.) Smells
10) Hurting yourself
11) Feeling neglected
12) insomnia
13) what did I miss?
Your videos are really helping me see why I do what I do. My childhood trauma definitely has been triggered lately.
I DON'T MATTER!!! Came from first and foremost my awful Mother, bullying at school, people that thought were friends, and other family members. It's been a CONSTANT through my life, and this led to LIMERANCE.
Patrick is awesome right? Dr Kim- thank you for all that you do and all that you have recovered from and share with us all.
And - you are so beautiful!
I still get a shock flashing right through my entire nervous system / body when I hear someone slamming the cupboard doors after putting away the dishes with a lot of unnecessary loud clinging and clanging....Double whammy. Same as after every fight between my mom and dad. 😖 💥💥💥💥🫣🙉
Same! Also, for me, when ppl sigh heavily out of nowhere. Those huffs and loud deep breaths even when it comes from a stranger around me, makes my system nervous.
OMG the crap with the dishes! My mother did that for decades, she was always low-key angry even when it didn’t look like it. She was trying to wake up the dead! You could hear those damn dishes at 4 am , at pretty much the strangest times at night, on the weekends, kitchen cabinets slamming, hearing it through closed doors! I don’t miss any of that!
Dr Kim! Congratulations on 200K! Wow! awesome!
Oh my! I am 66 and at this moment just realising why it is so hard going to sleep at night! I am insecure, do not want to be alone and unconscious.
Your comment made me realize maybe this is why my mom is having a problem sleeping... The alone and unconscious really got to me because she is currently in a nursing home. She comes home today. Family visits her everyday but that's not the same thing as being in your own home.
Understanding that failure is honest feedback revealing what to do different next time was life-changing for me personally.
Sleep issues is huge for me-but it's basically the opposite reason. If I was 'asleep" while my mother was up, I was safe. I'd lay in bed and wait til I heard her breathing change (as she had fallen asleep) and then, as long as I was quiet, and kept it dark, I was safe. So I learned really early fragmented sleep, hyper vigilance to What sound was in the house, and to be nocturnal. My other big one is injury/illness. Last year I broke my talus, and refused to see a doctor for almost a month (even though I had insurance) - this is a direct one to one comparison. I broke my (other) ankle at 7, had my friends carry me home, and as soon as they left, I got it worst by my mother because I didn't understand what pain was. So after, I fashioned my own cast and never mentioned it again. Convinced myself it didn't happen-until 20 years went by, and I had to have an x-ray of that ankle, and was told by the er doctor "well you broke it-I count at least 6 locations-and they never healed properly". I still have no words to verbalize what went through my head at the moment, but there was A LOT of shame. I've done a lot of work over the years, and I still have so much re-raising to do. Thanks for sharing these. Good to check in and see the progress I've made and where I still need to focus.
Be the loving parent as you retakes yourself. Being compassionate with yourself is vital to recovery and discovery!
Very relatable. Especially the hyper critical stances. It’s my fight or flight kicking in. I’m always trying to protect myself even if it’s only responding to a memory or a fixed belief I have about myself. I know this has hurt others and damaged my ability to connect with people on a deep level . I’m always looking for the problem and always defending myself from it. Ugh
Please make a video on limerence 🙏🏽
You always amaze me with how you can almost seem to grab all my thoughts, fears, whatever, from my mind and articulate it perfectly! Hypervigilance has been a big issue with me lately. I didn't even realize how bad my sleep was until my therapist really took the time and asked me! Since my mom died in 2021 and then my grandmother, mom's side, died in March, I've just kept going and trying to help everyone else. I forgot all about me! So now I'm aware of it and starting to work on it. I've always been the quiet girl, 50 now, that my mom would always say was on "high alert", lol! Thank you so much for explaining things! This 50 year old "little girl" seriously appreciates it! Merry Christmas, as well!
+1 on the 200K ! great video with a number of very practical and actionable suggestions. thanks and best holiday wishes.
So raw and real. You can actually relate to this. Thank you Dr Kimmy
I can’t tell you enough how much of a blessing it’s been to find your videos! At 38, realizing I had a narcissistic parent and then took a bad turn which triggered me into an unknown person after getting into a narcissistic relationship for 3 years. It’s such a treasure to finally make some sense of the way I’ve responded, how to heal, and become the empathetic and loving person I know I am meant to be. This is pivotal in the healing process and I thank you so very much!!!! ❤🕊️
Thank you for this! ❤
You are helping me so much and I truly appreciate it!❤. Merry Christmas!🎄
I love when my favorite RUclipsrs listen to each others videos 🥰
I think you are truly amazing and I am so grateful to have found you. I feel like you are a friend! Xoxo I hope your wounds fully heal. You deserve peace and kindness as a genuinely loving person.
Dr Kim Sage thank you so much for creating this channel. I am always looking for information on RUclips & this is the first time I actually “subscribed”! Lol. I suffer with CPTSD and have been working on healing and started EMDR treatment a couple years ago. Your videos make so much sense to me & you are spot on. I look forward to watching more & Thank you 💖✝️☮️
I like the trigger list. Wanted to add 'Lack' of Response or feedback as one. Selectively ignored in a large family of 5 kids. So many important events never shared...
What do you mean by lack of response or feedback?
Excellent content. All the triggers are true. I’m sure you are a great parent and Mom! Enjoy your holiday dinner this holiday. Love your videos
Happy Holidays Dr Kim. :) thanks for your videos, always great to listen and learn from you❤❤❤
Some of the times when my parents were most volatile were whenever I wasn't the good little son that they wanted me to be. Which first didn't agree with undiagnosed autism, and my being trans. Each my dad didn't like how I was eating, or didn't sit up straight at the dinner table, or other things, he'd tightly grip my thigh under the table, and (or tell me that I'm eating like a dog). I came to fear sitting down for dinner, was forbidden from switching places at the table with my brother, and I still don't like sitting down to dinner next to someone. My dad generally became the most volatile when he'd throw things as hard as he could against the wall. Usually a belonging of the person he was mad at, and blaming them for damage created by his throwing. One Christmas Eve, I was 14, and my paying attention to him while he read "the Night Before Christmas" wasn't enough for him if he could see something in my hands. He ripped the Wolverine action figure out of my hand, and threw it as hard as he could across the living room. Wolverine's neck snapped on impact. I got a 90's style Wolverine action figure a few months ago, holding that canary yellow figure took me right back to picking the two pieces of Wolverine up off the floor that Christmas Eve.
You are a blessing to so many,
Very helpful! Thank you ❤
Great video. When Neglected came up I started crying so I guess I need to work on that
Hope your holiday period is great and happy new year Kim 🥰
Your videos really help me a lot to get through childhood pain. And I appreciate you thank you.
Criticism offered from someone who cares about you is welcome. When someone is trying to hurt you, it is blatantly clear. Big difference.
Actually her point is even if the criticism is coming from someone who cares about you, it's still going to be triggering because of trauma. When I tell my mom about things that would make it easier for her... She never takes my suggestions. Or it takes her years to even try.
Hi! You mention someone named Patrick several times. Who is Patrick? Thanks! Enjoy your videos!!!
I believe she’s referring to Patrick Teahan. He is also on RUclips and a licensed therapist and advocate for childhood trauma victims. He is also a good source as my therapist suggested him to me. Much love to your holiday ⭐️
Yes, she is referring to Patrick Teahan. He is awesome. I would appreciate it if someone could post the exact video to which she is referring, Patrick has tons of presentations, so finding the exact one isn't easy.
"You’re a man now, Spongebob Squarepants, and it’s time you started acting like one"
@@nancybartley4610 The title is "11 oddly specific childhood trauma issues."
@@michelledudro7429 Thanks, Michelle!
Loooooved and needed this happppy new year 🎉
Your videos are perfect thank you so much 😢❤
I have almost all of them but have been doing a lot of inner work and I'm feeling better. ❤
Wow! Just found you. Thank you for these incredibly helpful insights into my soul!!
Thank you
You’re real
I really appreciate that
Happy holidays doctor ❤
Thank you Dr Kim for this important video. It is very validating for me ❤
To be fair, the world treats you better when you’re well dressed and put together.
This was soo insightful 🙏❤️
You are a good person.
Manuka honey applied directly to the burn. Cell salts for rehydration. Thank you for another omnipotent teaching, Dr.Kim!
Great video. I so appreciate you sharing your life. My mom spilled boiling water on her legs and seeing a more reasonable response is so helpful.
Thank you for this video. I would be very interested in a video on limerence ☺️
I always say that there are 2 types of criticism. 1 straight out criticism that doesn't help you understand what you've done wrong or how what you have done is wrong without helping you to see their point of view or how they have been affected and how you can fix it. 2 constructive criticism which gives explanations as well. I do tend to be harsh but I also try to explain how I'm being affected by the other person's behaviour as well
When you got to the part about the mayonnaise I just flipped. I was an only child also and this kind of thing would happen to me and I would just think what the hell is going on. She had one kid to remember their likes and dislikes with.
God who could ever be rude to you? You are the absolute best!!! Sorry they have the issues. Not you. I love your channel!!!
You come across as very relatable and normal, for want of another word. Seeing you on this vlog has me on board to watch more of your vlogs. Apparently, I might have Dismissive Avoidance attachment issues. Infact, at 54 I can comfirm, i do (haha). Time to work on it, again; better late than never.
I love ❤️ and needed this video. I was venting to a friend who completely misunderstood what I was saying… 6:35 was exactly 👍 what I needed to hear 👂 thank you 🙏 😊❤❤❤
I played several of these roles, mainly at different times, in my family of origin. Never was it okay to be me, and it still is not.
Developing interior boundaries
I hope that you have a wonderful Xmas and a happy new year 🎉😊🎉😊🎉
I hope your legs heal up quickly Dr. Kim! It must’ve been so painful!😢
Thank you for all your videos. I apreciate it a lot ❤! I have a lot of triggers mentioned in your video but one is missing. I am so scared of loud, sudden noises like banging a door that I have to force me to breath calmly.Otherwise I will start to cry and I am not able to say a word.I ' m not getting rid of this . Thank you for your time❤❤❤!
I relate to so much of what you talked about in this video.
So ill just share that i am not able to watch violent or scary movies because i get very triggered, it pisses people off that i get so triggered and need to leave the room. Then i go into a shame spiral..
I really resonate with this video. I had a difficult relationship with both my parents as a child. I now live with my adult daughter and her husband. My daughter and l have the same relationship style as l did with my parents but I am reacting to her like l did with them because the things she says is so triggering to me. Both her and l really want to work on our relationship. l know l need to start with myself first.
That image/ video clip of the teenagers making out in tbe hallway at the beginning of the "Limerance" is very disturbing.
I noticed as adults that me and my siblings were always saying , “GOD , I JUST WANT TO RELAX!!” …. Two of the four of us are now on the other side-mostly due to alcohol...( I am happy for them.-Now they get to finally relax.)
Congrats on 200K! 🎉 It’d be helpful to link Patrick Teahan’s video you’re referencing: “11 Oddly Specific Childhood Trauma Issues” -> ruclips.net/video/lULd-wnWjT4/видео.htmlsi=4VqMOWCEsTMaMeV5 in the description box/ pinned at the top of the comments. Both you and Patrick are wealths of knowledge and have helped so many people 🙌Thank you!🙏❤️
interesting thoughts and easy for anyone with childhood issues to identify with at least part of what you discuss here though i would say age is a fine remedy ..and maybe the only answer ..though some things never go away...
i think it very important to tell oneself that for certain feelings or issues..there simply is no remedy,,,and recognition of that may be the solution for many people....
I’ve been feeling terrible around sundown. I thought it was because I’ve cut off a friend who i mostly communicated with in the evening but maybe it’s because that’s when my dad came home? The friend triggered a lot of my childhood trauma so I’m sure it’s all related.
POWERLESSNESS.
So, my child is not neglected at all and was not brought up around a lot of fighting at all. However, a babysitter hurt my baby it did not last more than at the most 3 months but one time is too much. My baby shows signs even now at 11, the babysitter abuse occurred at the age of 2 going on 3. Is this normal?
My biggest trigger is smelling someone in a crowd that's on h****n or something similar. Idk what it is but they release a smell in their sweat and I can smell it from a mile away.
I also have really bad anxiety over people giving me hugs.. not sure why that one is there. 😅
Great video! I'm learning more about my triggers as I'm healing.
The channel Crappy Childhood Fairy has a lot of helpful info too ❤
Why would anyone go to bed at 7 pm.
Who is Patrick?
Patrick Teahan. He has a channel on RUclips and he's great.
Who is Patrick????😊
Patrick Teahan @patrickteahanlicswtherapy is a childhood trauma specialist, with a RUclips channel.
Dr. Sage is referring to Patrick’s video titled: 11 Oddly Specific Childhood Trauma Issues ruclips.net/video/lULd-wnWjT4/видео.htmlsi=4VqMOWCEsTMaMeV5
I think i got combo
🧚🥷🏾💌👸
You are doing a disservice to your viewers by not watching other people's videos, and not overlapping any concepts. You are doing it for a good reason, but it's actually harmful to leave out concepts.
This video made me feel terrible because I only have a couple of these issues. It was like hearing you say I had no trauma.
Then I watched the intro and found out what you did.
I heard that L-Theanine helps to reduce the side effects of PTSD. Have you heard about it Dr Sage? It is ironic, or maybe destiny that your name is Sage. Wow! you can't make that up. You seem to be a wonderful professional and I am glad you're addressing this very serious topic, that can be very dibilitating; and most people aren't knowledgeabe of at all. Thank You!!!!
Not to “criticize” you, but there’s a thing called “CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM” and that’s a very good thing.