Oh yes, faking being ok. I learned how to do that as a kid. I obviously still do it, I have to quite often. It's why if I do lose my temper it seems so sudden. It's not sudden. I just hit my "faking it" limit.
Yes! Omg!!! My mother just passed away and I'm reliving my childhood all over again! She was my best friend! She had cancer but she wouldn't have the hospital with COVID. And I was allowed to go with her. The only way that they would let me see her is if I would come up there and take her off a life support. Now I have to pretend like I'm AOK. What's the people around me think I am big overly dramatic.
I was contemplating how I feel in social situations the other day and I literally wrote in my journal, “I don’t care what you think I just don’t want to misunderstand.”
Man at 27 years old my mother literally has taken me back to live with her, but all she does is share my autism with others almost like I can't do anything about it, or as if I am helpless or something, I don't know if that is narcissism or immaturity, but she acts as if she has all the answers and I don't. I feel like I was setting up a life for myself but she is thwarting it by treating me like as if I an helpless against my autistic diagnosis, and when I always tell her it could've been something else she says "no it is autism" she thinks she knows because of a simple diagnosis. She never let's me talk in public, She throws my autism out to everybody she is around. To make herself look better, and I got another woman calling me a loser because I still stay with my mother, it is bullshit!! I have many people saying it indirectly on Facebook too, like I got the whole goddamned world against me! Makes me wanna say fuck God, I literally get no likes on RUclips with comments! People fucking ignore me on Facebook! And people say nah, your crazy or this that, fuck I'm not they are!!
@@brandonmiller4672Speaking from experience, narcissistic mothers need to be needed. I got out (sort of, but not without chronic health issues), but I’m still trying to help my lil bro 😢 Ma actually said to me she was “glad to have her baby boy back” 🤮 when his issues got so bad he became homebound again at your same age 💔 Narcissists’ backwards thinking makes them need to keep their children “innocent”, young, helpless, sick, needy & dependent on them. They do not know their own truth or purpose due to abuse they endured, so this gives them a warped sense of purpose & boosts their fragile ego. It’s all very backwards, sad & sick. It is one of the worst kinds of abuse to “ignore”~which is what them suppressing your own inner truth & self is. And ignoring can & does slowly, chronically & steadily cause debilitating physical & mental illness to the point of death! I’m so VERY sorry you are going through this! ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹 I hear you! I see you! I know your truth. You exist!! YOU are capable! 💪🧠 Don’t let any broken person take that from you 🙏 P.S. I’m so over these ppl blaming us and other BS & not taking responsibility… not realizing autism comes from trauma/mainly narcissistic abuse. May I advise you to study narcissism like craayy!!! 😅 It will open your eyes to many many understandings & help set you free. Knowledge is power 🙌
@@brandonmiller4672 Imma just post my list anyway it’s bound to help somebody 🤞🤗🙏❤️🩹 1. Doctor Ramani 2. Understanding Narcissism with Elizabeth Shaw 3. Richard Grannon 4. Danish Bashir 5. Mental Healness-Lee. Hammock 6. Patrick Teahan-LIcsw 7. Teal Swan 8. NarcDaily-You Are Not Alone 9. Psychopath EXposure 10. The Game Exposed 11. Empress of Light 12. Empaths Refuge 13. Ace Metaphor
13 years of bullying and rejection that happened in the public school system due to undiagnosed autism gave me CPTSD. But again, I also had enmeshment trauma from my mom who had high narcissistic traits, so it all blended together. But the mean people were at school. Lots of things can be worked through, but not everything. Loud voices or yelling still really jar my system.
My only reason for wanting to live as a teenager was the expectation that when I get out of scrueI, I would be away from kids and be among adults, and things would be better. Life was somewhat better but I was never whole and healthy until I met Jesus. We home schooled our child.
Rejection and scapegoating while at school will really mess you up. My family added a nice brick to that wall, when I started cutting myself instead of getting help I got accused of taking drugs and stealing. I've been on my own since I finished high school, almost 20 years and counting. Sometimes I miss trusting people, but for the time being my distrust and lack of hope is winning. Therapy helps, to an extent. But it's a long road.
This is my case exactly. My heart sunk while reading your words... My classmates used to pit on me and call me "monster" on a daily basis, while my mother couldn't care less about it all because she was just so disappointed in me for not being as pretty and feminine as her. I am 42 now, I got my autism diagnosis last year, and my mind screams at me, several times a day, that I'm ugly, pathetic and disgusting. I went no contact with my mother, but I really don't see a way out of this feeling.
The sound of people near me laughing if I didn't specifically see or hear what they are laughing at triggers a sinking feeling for me because of all the bullying and being laughed at in elementary and junior high mostly. I'm 38 now.
@ClaireGreen-wd2gm ugh same. I know it's technically paranoia, but not back then when their laughing near you WAS actually about you like 90-99% of the time.
At 76 years old, I have learned that I am aspergers and cptsd. I am relieved to still be alive so that I know the WHY of who I have been all my life. There is sorrow for who I might have been, and anger over abuse I should not have had in my life. But this late in life, to have an exultant affirmation of what I knew more than 70 years ago gives me great peace and strength. I don't know when you put this video together, and I don't know how I happened to check your channel tonight, but the coincidence of it all is proof of connections which come to us as mysteries bringing wisdom and wonder. Thank you...
“There is sorrow for who I might have been, and anger for abuse in life I should’ve never had.” 💯 I hear the pain in that sentence, I’m sorry that happened to you, and I completely understand. 😢
I was mocked for being angry or dysregulated (crying as well), I am now unable to express emotions spontaneously. I have very intense emotions internally. I am faceless.
I relate immensely. I can hear or see something that makes me feel incredible sadness or rage, and inside my head I'm screaming and cursing, but I won't be able to say a word, not even change my facial expression.
@@terristripstipsandtalkI use theater cues, (art), to help me with self-regulat, as well as child devolment courses, family and consumer science, studio art, arthistory,t philosoph(Rast west), psychology, old movies, (black and white) audio books, physical activities.... I am guided by the seasons and I give myself the time I need to adapt. I use Reggio Emilia art philosophy to guide me to find my ikigi (Japanese theory to find purpose) It is pleasurable therefore relaxing.
I have said many times before to my family and friends that all the therapy did for me as a bullied and abused and neglected child needing a support team but was forced to see a psychiatrist instead…he was the only person on my team but ….all it did was rob me of the ability to have and show normal human emotions. I was forced to see a psychiatrist at the age of 13 on and I now know he saw what the problem was but kept his mouth shut to protect me from the problems….because there was absolutely nothing he could do to save me from them except continue to be my only support system…..as soon as he stuck up for me to my parents…stating that I didn’t have a problem and that they need to lay off me for once…my parents made me stop seeing him. I was on my own from that point on and it sucked…I didn’t find out that he stuck up for me until years later when my mother was talking crap about him and how he didn’t fix me at all…I wasn’t the problem…my reactions to their abuse was the problem and they wanted me to stop reacting and just accept that I was the problem and to die….now my mother is going out of her way to try having me arrested and institutionalized based on lies her and my psychopath brother are spreading that I’m not even aware of lol…until recently that is when I was told by a stranger that I was the person to talk to if someone was needing some shite…eh hem…wtf? I absolutely hate my mother and my siblings…my dad is a flying monkey for my mother and gets confused and frustrated because he is around me and knows I’m not doing and saying the things they’re accusing me of but he gets around them for even a moment and gets convinced otherwise just like that
As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about how mushrooms and psychedelics treats anxiety, but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, Doctor Greg Mushrooms he is a great man of God who has the great insight on psychedelic and mushroom. He will guide you on how to use mushrooms to get good trip.
I'm a 47 year old autistic woman with CPTSD. Thank you for helping me unravel all the various traits and aspects that come with this combination. I used to think of myself as very unusual and alone, and the more I learn, the more I see my experience as very typical and normal. It's so reassuring to not constantly feel like an outlier. Thank you again for putting this information out into the world.
It IS good to know that there were others all along. I just assumed I was a "shut-in." An old term, but I knew it had been used to describe people "like" me in the past.
I have PTSD, and whenever anyone asked me if im autistic, I always said no, and have always believed that it was all due to anxiety and trauma.... however from watching a few different videos today, Im starting to wonder if Im possibly both. I dont ever really use labels in my normal life, and im fine whether i am or arent, but it never occurred to me before today that i might possibly be both (or that someone might be both.... Id just never thought about it before). The thing that started me to question it today, was watching a video talking about what autism can look like in children... and i realised as a kid a lot of that resonated with how I was (and that was before I had the trauma so it wouldnt be PTSD related) and I was very surprised by it..... just wasnt expecting it. I dont think Ive really understood what autism is in the past, I had very limited knowledge of it, an whether I am or arent, Im glad that im finally learning more about this, its good that there are these videos to spread more awareness. Thank you for sharing your story Amy, and thank the channel owner for their video too. 🌹
You know what helps me? I have a picture of myself at about 5 years old and see this smiling free boy and I hug him and say I love him and you are the true self, not what happened to you or done to others through your symptoms.
My autism developed into a special interest in the social sciences (especially the intersection between philosophy, sociology and psychology), which complicates things A LOT!
@@azloii9781 Haha! Here I was thinking I was taking responsibility for my own health to become a productive member of society, but after somewhere around 10 years on this path the health professionals made it perfectly clear that my responsibility was to work and that they were the ones that were supposed to get payed for figuring out my health. Challenging them on what they "know" does not work. Not only that, but they also mock me by stating that the fact that I am now financially screwed because of my pursuits (investment in wisdom) is not a legitimate reason to be mentally unwell according to their profession (source of income).
Pretty much the same for me. Do you think its good for us to be so keenly interested in philosophy (in particular)? If autism is linked to a heightened (more than just casual) interest in these things, which it just might be, then there are extremely potent ideas meeting with unusually wired cognition. (How many times have people tried to tell you that joke about the word 'gullible' not being in the dictionary? Used to happen, all the time, with me and I think it's because I tend to take things at face value.) I don't think autistic people are as ready to question the integrity of what we are told as neurotypical contemporaries are.
@@batintheattic7293 I question the integrity of what people are saying based on me knowing more than them about what they are thinking ... I dont know much about their drives and motivations though -- that sort of thing always puzzles me. This is also the reason why I dont know if its a good idea for me to be interested in these things. I struggle with understanding my own motivations just as much as I struggle to understand other peoples motivations. This ensures my continual relapse into depression. What I do know is that most people cant stand my relentless questioning ... so I tend to be more accepted by religiously minded people, even though I dont have a firm stance on God other than it seeming to be a reoccuring subject and a question in philosophy that one cant escape.
@@batintheattic7293questioning for some of us is a personal specialty! I’ve driven every neurotypical mind in my life bonkers over my questions, they seem to be at peace with not knowing something, I can’t sit with that I haaaaave to know all the details and every scenario so I can make an educated decision.
At 38 years old and after years of research, I finally got diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder 1. As a kid, I was repeatedly misdiagnosed, drugged, and sent to homes for “troubled teens”. …which is a big reason I’m one of many autistic adults with C-PTSD. This is why I support self diagnosis when it’s done properly. I had to diagnose myself before I could finally find the correct specialist and actually get a correct diagnosis.
If you're autistic, or primed to epigenetically trigger as such, NPD or BPD parenting provide more than enough trauma to hide the autism or the CPTSD. I've always been moderately dyspraxic and highly sensitive. I didn't realize just how much the latter until my system reset to become even MORE sensitive after three and a half months of intensive chemotherapy. As a child, my mother was my most persistent bully, making fun of just about anything. The majority of her bullying in the early years was disatisfaction on her part with my development and physical quirks. I remember distinctly how harsh she was when I was seven, making fun of my bubble butt and telling me I walked like a girl. Around kindergarten, she put me in a swim class, which I enjoyed-until parents' day when she held on to me and took me to the deep end, dunked me repeatedly because I would supposedly have some sort of epiphany. Again, when I was seven, she used to throw me into the pool in our apartment complex to "sink or swim," so often that neighbors picked HER up and threw her in, which fortunately DID stop her from doing it to me. I couldn't whistle soon enough, or ride a bike soon enough, and I was too quiet most of the time. Only much later in life did she tell me that TWICE, entering 2nd and 8th grades, the teachers tried to convince her to have me skip a grade, which she declined because she thought I was too immature, completely missing the point that the teacher had been having to accommodate me by either sending me to read with a higher grade class, which made me stick out as the odd one, or work on my own on the periphery of the classroom. She didn't get ME at all, only that she thought I made her look like a bad mom for having a child that was different. Frankly, she WAS a bad mom, quite often. When she became a single mother, I became a latchkey child, and glad that I was; I had to endure her far less. Thank goodness my grandparents lived only a block away, though mind you, my grandmother was also NPD (covert, self-righteous). One very GOOD thing that unfortunately also masked my difficulties was that they were all highly regimented, my mom an army brat, and my grandparents raised Methodist/Salvation Army through the Dust Bowl. That regimentation kept me organized enough for me to excel in school, which slowly ebbed the longer I was only my own as an adult, until my difficulties with executive skills finally beat out what was left of my routines and living by my DayPlanner®. Sadly, rather than address my odd academic flubs from a humane angle to figure out underlying reasons, my mom instead got angry that the otherwise Straight A student f'ed up. So since I wasn't really hyperactive, my ADHD didn't get addressed whatsoever. I came to hate group assignments because I usually failed them or came close. Wow, I thought I just had a short blurb to tell. lol Alrighty, then. My point yet stands, that parenting probably makes an enormous difference for autistic kids in either limiting or grossly exacerbating the neurological trauma responses, depending on the ability of the parents to nurture while sussing out and learning to work around problem elements. Commanding rather than teaching works even less with autistic children than with neurotypical.
Thank you for sharing this - I strongly suggest you write a book about this experience some day because I feel like it could help a lot of people. I grew up with a covert narc parent and am on the spectrum and still trying to find info about how this probably affected me developmentally. I didn't have a bully parent the way you did (and I'm so sorry you did) but I did have some overlap. Stay strong 🙏
@@jmo534 I intend to, have intended to. I just had so much to sort out before knowing how to begin and in what format-memoir, fictionalized autobiography, short essays like David Sedaris. Thank you for your expression of caring. It doesn't land on deaf ears and, hey, nothing like encouragement to beat inertia. :)
As someone with C-PTSD and not autism, I think this misses the mark on the biggest difference I see between the two. I am hyper aware of people’s facial expressions and am better than the average neurotypical person at reading body language and social situations. This is probably an adaptive skill from growing up in a very chaotic environment, where I needed to know how the adults around me were feeling at all times. There is a bit of discomfort in social situations, but it’s from a fear of rejection, and not from a fear of misunderstanding something or being misunderstood.
I've had PTSD for 15 years, and lately since autism has been talked about way more, I couldn't help but notice that some of the things people say are austism characterists match with some of the PTSD ones (on paper), but if you have ptsd you know it's different. You're exactly right... People with PTSD are hyper aware to their surroundings and other people's emotions, behaviours, expressions, etc. while austism individuals do not have that awareness. They don't pick up on things like that at all..
@@lfedits1353 yes, exactly! I’m sure many people have both autism and PTSD (as seen in the comments), but honestly I think it’s harmful to imply that they could be the same thing. I’ve also seen many people speculating that highly sensitive people are actually autistic. There’s some erasure happening of our lived experiences when people try to imply that all of these are somehow autism. I’ve never seen actual C-PTSD experts make those speculations though.
I am hyper aware of people's facial expressions and body language, I just often have no idea what that means for that person or what to do about it or how to act appropriately in response to it. So I don't think that's exactly a distinguishing factor between the two.
@@cornchips007 That's probably the difference. Not only being hyper aware but hyper responsive to tone, expression etc. Like with C-PTSD the slightest indication of displeasure can instantly trigger appeasing behavior. Maybe that doesn't happen with autism? I have a fear of talking on the phone because it cuts me off from some of that non verbal communication that I rely so heavily on. I also feel uncomfortable if someone is wearing sunglasses when talking to me because I can't see their eyes. I am super dialed in to that non verbal communication because growing up knowing what the person was feeling meant knowing how at risk you were from them at that time and knowing how you should behave to try to keep yourself safe.
I want to add that high sensitive people (HSP) also have some of these signs at the daily base line. For instance constantly being sensitive to stimuli or taking longer to regulate after a stressful event. So if someone is HSP and has early complex trauma, it is even more difficult to distinct it from ASD.
Yes, HSP have sensory issues and social emotional issues, well I know I do. Still haven't pinned it down. Thankful for the discovery and journey though.
Yes. I agree. And sensitivity makes it easier to be traumatized. I often wondered if I might be autistic, but I'm social and extraverted and love eye contact, hate routine, love spontaneity. I'm more adhd but still subclinical and probably just trauma.
“You’re not a little bit autistic, you either are or you aren’t.” Thank you! This needs to be screamed from the rooftops. Also, what you mention in the beginning of this video-that if you think you might be autistic and have c-ptsd, you may well have both. This is insightful and I wish more mental health professionals understood and acknowledged this. Good luck with your autistic realization journey, btw. You say you’re not sure yet, but frankly, the fact that you already have a firm grasp of autistic experience tells me you probably are. Your professional experience plays a part, I’m sure; but in my experience, even well-educated and empathetic allistic mental health professionals struggle to describe monotropic experience in an actually relatable way.
Every therapist I have had who specialises in neurodivergence is actually neurodivergent themselves whether they know it or not. Something pulls them to the topic, a sense of understanding that is only there if you've been through it and relate.
Theres a spectrum. Thats what people mean. Try to be more empathetic to how people see you. Its not easy to identify an autistic girl who is social and verbal compared to a non verbal anti social type person.
23:15 this was so INCREDIBLY validating!!! I am autistic and have severe C-PTSD, and I've tried *sooooo* many therapies, methods, techniques, treatments, etc. over the past three decades that have NOT helped me, and I'm left feeling like a failure and thinking, "What's wrong with me? It worked for all these other people, why not me?" Of course, during the majority of that time, I had no idea that I am autistic. Now I read or listen to audiobooks that talk about "healing your nervous system," etc. and think, "Yes, but has this been tested on people with autism?" So many of the things these therapies talk about seem to be only seeing neurotypicals, never taking into account the completely different way neurodivergent brains work. It's all too easy for a therapist to say "do this technique" without realizing that technique *won't work* or will *work differently* for someone with autism. The worst part is, after you've tried so many things that don't work, it sets up an endless loop of "failure" that's extremely difficult to deal with --- when the failure isn't yours at all (certainly not for lack of trying!!!), it's the failure of the therapy/therapist to take into consideration that *not all brains work the same*. SOOOO looking forward to your course on Eggshell Parents -- mine were both narcissistic, likely psychopathic, abusive, and very very unpredictable. At the mere mention of "unsafe parents, where you walked on eggshells," tears sprang to my eyes. I have so much unhealed trauma over my abusive childhood, which years of countless treatments and techniques have been unable to heal (again, at the time I didn't know I have autism). Oh, and the bit about misunderstanding --- that has happened to me in SPADES throughout my lifetime, up to and including the only job I was ever fired from. My manager interpreted an email I'd written to the team in the *complete opposite* way than it was intended, and no matter how I tried to explain what I meant, she kept insisting I meant the opposite. (In hindsight I believe she was abusive and manipulative, possibly narcissistic -- which I have a history of such people in my life, starting with my parents -- and was purposely trying to get rid of me, which they eventually did.) Even my own sister often misunderstands what I'm saying, and she's autistic as well. Having autism (especially high-masking autism) is infinitely more difficult than most people can imagine.
Thank you for mentioning that seeking an official diagnosis can sometimes have negative consequences. People look down on self-diagnosis but it’s not always even safe for people to obtain an official diagnosis.
This video applies to me I feel like. No matter what I say to my mom about my needs or how I feel she blames me for them. Meanwhile my younger brother can have literally the exact same need (eg: not wanting to drive in loud traffic with ambulance sirens everywhere) and she will respect his needs while making my needs a huge deal and or make me feel like a huge burden on the family. Please Lord save me from my own life. I need help sir. Please and thank you 🙏🏻
Makes sense. I've often wondered if I'm on the spectrum but never assumed I am because of the childhood trauma. The physical abuse started when I was a toddler and didn't stop until two of my friends witnessed the abuse and my parents had to worry about consequences (I was about 13)... the emotional abuse continued. Anyway - I'm extremely sensitive to noise and bright lights (i legit make lights flicker when I'm triggered), I have extreme social anxiety, I don't deal with confrontation well (in the sense that I literally don't know how to defend myself)... One of the things that has helped me a lot (aside from learning my triggers and how to deal with them) - yoga. I cannot recommend it enough for survivors of any trauma. You'll like the effect on your body too. An added bonus!
"she's too social, but if she wasn't we'd diagnose her with ASD." That is the paraphrased assessment I got as a very young child. I had a significant speech delay. I have numerous learning disabilities. And as for social? I distinctly remember as a young child preferring to play independently. There was a tree on the playground at my elementary school. I would sit under it and play with toys I had brought from home. I remember teachers getting frustrated trying to get me to play with the other kids. But they didn't want to play how I wanted to play. And I didn't understand there were rules to their games. In preschool I brought in the huge bucket of worms for show and tell. And I kept trying to wonder off to play with it. To the point my otherwise empathetic preschool teacher snapped and threatened to dump it out in the yard. It was a sensory thing. I can go on and on. I had an eval as an adult because I wanted to see if I qualify for asd. My raad score was 165. Definitive diagnosis. My in person assessment was definitive neurotypical. "How can I have two starkly different results?" My psychologist couldn't explain it. I did also experience CPTSD. But it was recognized and documented very early on I wasn't neurotypical. I joke that I deserve an EGOT for my masking. Because when my mask does slip people struggle to understand what's happening.
Oh wow... I can relate to what you said about preferring to play alone in school. I used to do something similar--play by myself. I think I tried to socialize and make friends in 1st grade, but it was too challenging/exhausting, and I felt like I didn't fit in. So I was happier by myself. In fourth grade, my teacher actually nudged me to sit by another girl who was also sitting by herself. We didn't quite bond then, but as time went on, we did slowly become friends--for a while. But a year or so later, she grew angry with me, said I only talked about three things: my sister, my cat, and (I forgot the third). She didn't want to be my friend anymore. It really stung. :( I don't know my own speech development when I was an infant/toddler, but I will say this: both of my sons were delayed or nearly delayed in their speech. My older son was fully evaluated. They commented on how well he was able to listen to stories and asked me how long he'd listen to me read when we were at home (easily 30+ minutes). He just barely passed the mark and didn't have an official speech delay. We didn't go through the eval with my younger son, but I'm pretty certain he was a bit delayed and might have even been diagnosed. Older son loves playing alone. I now wonder if he may be autistic. Younger son...? Kind of too young to tell (he's only 3). I've been tempted to have my older son evaluated for a while now. He's also likely gifted, but I suspect there's a bit more to the story about him. I do know if I didn't homeschool my kids, this older son would NOT FIT IN (speaking as a former public school teacher). Maybe you're masking really well. I took an online questionnaire that showed I had VERY high masking scores--which makes sense. I struggled for SO MANY YEARS to "fit in" but didn't really feel like I did until college. I think, between college and years of elementary school teaching, I learned more ways to mask/hide myself. But at my core, I'm strongly suspecting I may be autistic, too. I went to therapy back in my 20s and was considered a "Highly Sensitive Person." Most of my therapy was related to getting along with people and behaviors my parents considered "extreme" (possibly meltdowns).
@@christinakuhn5739 if you can see if you can get a psych eval and ask to have a raad score test. There are other tests they can run to diagnosis ASD. Especially if your kids are showing signs
You deserve a school to care and be considered for your needs not just to fit in. I was bullied by kids all the time older than me girls mainly because I wasn’t a pretty girl. I was bullied to point I had to fight the hardest the oldest so it would stop. I remember the girl who supported me always. She said they will stop hitting you. I don’t regret this but no child should have to suffer like this. TEACHERS SUPPORT THE TRUTH CHILD IS QUITE OR LOUD FOR A REASON. You are braver than you know. The tree have given you a friend a life lesson, the people should get to know you seem a beautiful person inside out. I wonder if they think about their actions in school and how they change their mind if they really went through what you did. Being alone and having straight up loving person who cared so d
The neurologist I sat in front of last year to be evaluated for neurodivergence finally just laughed at me and started explaining attachment. I would only have similar traits if I have significant trauma. I didn't receive any help. He didn't do a proper assessment. How awful can someone be? I'm so tired of trying to get the right treatment. I have for years. I have AuDHD AND CPTSD. With dissociative elements. 'Professionals' have told me all kinds of things over the years. From 'I just imagined my trauma' to 'I 'just' have trauma' It's awful. Yes, complex trauma traits can *lighten* with good work around them. But most days I wish I was deaf (eventhough I love music) because I'm SO sensitive to sound. That is very different to being startled/triggered by a sudden noise. I could have a wonderful day but the bright sun still feels like someone burning my eyes out with a torch. And the issues in social interactions. Ohhhhh. Don't even get me started. The symptoms might seem similar but the lived experience is very different. Of course one would have to properly listen to and believe the person in front of them to understand that.
@@hannahk.summerville5908 your comment reminds me of the dr I met with. she called me catty and said its unlikely autism but ptsd and bipolar because of my monotone.
It's wild, I'm moderately deaf and I wish too I could be (fully) deaf as I'm very very sensitive to bass from being born with hearing loss- my brain looks for the sound and I get tinnitus, sensory overwhelm 24/7 in ebb and flow! I feel luckily atleast to take my hearing aids out and the world becomes more muffled and quiet a little bit!
I also agree that "high masking/ high functioning" are helpful terms. I am currently going on a deep dive and slowly coming to the realization that I may be autistic and that I never knew/was diagnosed because people only saw my outer experience and not my inner. Example: my husband did the grocery shopping this weekend because I was hiking with a friend. This morning, as i made my breakfast, I realized he bought oven roasted instead of honey roasted turkey and I just stood and stared at it for about 3 minutes and he asked if I was okay. I explained that I was trying to decide on a different breakfast option because it was the wrong turkey, not because he did anything wrong (because I didn't specify honey roasted turkey), just because it was not planned/part of my routine and I found it deeply unsettling. What if the flavor/texture are off? I wasn't prepared for different turkey. The sheer fact that this comment is so detailed and focused around sliced turkey makes me go...hmm? Am I claiming autism because it's trendy or is this legitimate. I often have instances like this that I don't think Neurotypicals experience. I don't think it is "normal" to want to throw your breakfast away because 1 item is slightly off. 😅
My soul is in tears. Just hearing put into words how I've felt for so long " , putting on a normal face but inside I'm so anxious and tired. Im 53 and have both. Just realized
15:19 this absolutely! I definitely feel like my autistic traits made it so my traumatic experiences were much more impactful to me than I suspect they might have been for an allistic person, to the point where I wonder if my experiences would have even registered as traumatic to someone without my autistic traits (without going into detail, my hyperempathy, pattern recognition, and even my oversensitive hearing were factors into how I processed the abusive behaviors that surrounded me) and it has sort of created this feedback loop where the autistic traits facilitated the traumas formation, the trauma triggers the autistic traits such as emotional dysregulation, and the autistic traits exacerbate the traumatic responses. so for example my hyperempathy (autistic trait) might cause me to over identify with a character in law and order, which will remind me of my own trauma (cptsd flashback), which will cause me to become easily dysregulated (autistic trait), which will cause me to ruminate (overlap of cptsd and autism), which will make it increasingly difficult for me to emotionally regulate enough to get out that headspace. once I do, everything becomes about avoiding, avoiding, avoiding until the next time I hit that feedback loop
I am not in the least bit surprised to hear this. My husband struggles with trauma from heavy verbal abuse and severe emotional neglect in childhood to early adulthood. Although he's healing, I have often wondered if there is autism involved along with some learning disabilities that resulted. This video validates the research about the brain changes / damages / adaptations that occur due to long-term childhood abuse and neglect. I hope you can also speak on the degree that neuroplasticity can aid in healing even the symptoms that mimic autism in the traumatized.
you got instantly disregulated after the dogs (possibly) needed you and you felt the need to finish the video on their time. That is so relatable honestly.
That was very helpful, Dr. Kim! You have a very good voice for what you do. My Asperger's diagnosed grand daughter brought me over a book given to her. She may have been about 8. It was called, 'All Cats Have Aspergers.'. We read it together and there were roughly 52 traits. I columized our findings to, 1.Not at all. 2. A little. 3. A lot. She had 27 syptoms full tilt and I had 17, full tilt. It explained all of my sensory issues. Its rough growing up wih people making fun of you, bullying you, shaming you and telling you that you are too sensiitve. My 71 yr old older sister never stopped bullying me. But yes, I have PTSD from a few things in my life. Never mind the physical health problems., Everyone that I was close to is now dead. Life is just too hard.... I wish you all the very best!!!
A great example of how generations assist each other! We so often see the combative side of intergenerational relationships but I confirm my grandmother was so good at helping me navigate ASD. My mother refused to get help for my sister and I (a whole other story) but my grandmother has always been so steady and kind when she helped me navigate a chaotic and scary world. I'm sorry you're feeling alone and that you've lost people. When I think of my grandmother, I will try to keep you in my thoughts as well, and I hope your grandchildren are spending time with you! I spent so much time with my grandma but I still regret every missed second.
@@anabsolutetrashfire1312 , So nice of your reply to me, Dr. Kim. You were so fortunate to have your grandmother. I didn't have that. My only son, moved out of state because he didn't want any kind of responsibility. His only daughter died last yr around the time of my father that I cared for. Very alone with major chronic fatigue upon my other health issues. Things look bleak for a lot of people right now due to the economy and other current issues. But I navigate what I can in a firm belief in Biblical promises of a better earth under the Kingdom of Christ. It appears to be coming soon. God does not lie and in Revelation chapter 5, it highlights that God's kingdom will eliminated sorrow, sickness and death forever. With the added hope of seeing the resurrection of our deceased loved ones again. Haven't we all lost so many that were dear to us, Kim?!! So until we see the reality of a grand hope, we find fellowship in either those or our religious congregations, or/and hopefully through others like yourself that can target certain issues on a deeper and professional manner. You have a God given gift for what you are doing! I have seen a few counselors in my day. Maybe the deepest source of my depression/anxiety/frustration, is that at age 12 I developed an epileptic/familial head tremor, like Kate Hepburn had. It has ruined my life. Very hard to work with it also. Also kept me from normal social interaction. But one counselor just wanted to keep me coming and talking. Another was helpful. A group setting was not helpful.,.... The best one that I had seen, got another job but left me her number on my answering machine. I accidently erased it and never got to find her, either. Oh well! I am so glad that I found you! Your most recent video, was so thorough. You know how to express yourself at a speed and tone that is healing in itself. May God bless you in all that you do. Kim!!!!!! Much love and appreciation from Connecticut!
I wonder how it would be if you changed the words “you” for “me” as you changed part way through your comment. I imagine that’s a bit of dissociating. If you’re open to it, maybe try it. 😊 No judgement, I just noticed. CPTSD over here so I do it too and try to catch myself. ❤
@@andrialouiserose , Hmmm........ In my non authoritative analysis of replacing me with you, I was thinking that since I never liked to be the center of attention, not using 'me' may take some focus off of myself. Also makes me less looking like playing the victim card to a degree. I think the source of my intent was to acknowledge the abuse of so many others. Does that make sense, Dr. Kim? Have a great week and thanks for your reply!
@@bethelle9099hello and I wish you well - I think RUclips is a massive help. I too have sensory sensitivity. So good there’s more choices nowadays besides those scratchy blankets and horrid brushed nylon nighties.
I've been diagnose with PTSD and CPTSD. I was told during that process that I couldn't be diagnosed with Autism or ADHD. They said my traumas started at such a young age that a baseline can't be established. I don't believe that is true and continue to research for clarity. I appreciate your videos and learn something from each one. So, thank you! I wish you all the best on your journey.
I have read that If you were abandoned by your mother (physically like given for adoption or she left you at daycare at one month old, or emotionally like she was clinically depressed). Then you were abandoned and you have no baseline of normal.
Ive been told the same thing, yet my trauma didnt start until i was 13. So there is a baseline, my childhood and parents are fantastic, yet i wanted to no longer exist sged five, i had no friends, struggled with social interaction ect. Its really unfair how they look for any reason to not look into things further.
@jj4791 autism does not necessarily include reduced empathy. More intense empathy is possible, but the ability to express that empathy is likely to be impaired.
I just purchased the book What Happened To You? Thank you. I was wrongly diagnosed and over medicated for nearly two decades. For me is cPTSD and things FINALLY started making sense after my daughter moved to the Spirit world. She was also very wrongly diagnosed for the 22 years she was here in human form. Hypervigilance, hyper awareness, dissociation in a desperate attempt to protect ourselves. It’s exhausting to say the least.
The part about PTSD treatment not being able to help with certain aspects of autism is so true Been working through trauma for a few years now, but was getting frustrated that it wasn’t quite working… Last month just before Christmas I concluded autism is the only thing that could explain what the trauma couldn’t Its still been tough since but at least I know
Yes, this happened to me too. I was so frustrated because I felt stuck in my treatment. Then a mental health professional pushed me to consider autism. Now it makes more sense why I was stuck.
For me, it's been years of work and changing so many bad behaviors that were coping mechanisms. Now I'm like, why am I still struggling when I've been sober for 8 years and I've been doing all this other work? It's frustrating, and it's got to be something more than just ptsd
I realize i may be autistic and it also shows me things i didnt see and possibly wasnt caring for properly which obviously doesn't help, but in having this realization literally at 11:11 and making an appointment to get started on my mental health journey earlier today, im humbled im not even like upset it means i know whats wrong and how better to care for myself
It's taken months to unravel (to an extent) the degree my sensory sensitivity impacts the intense anxiety and rage response from seemingly inconsequential sounds (particularly); the ruminating and inability to read social cues magnifies the emotions because of hyperfocus on the seemingly tiny detail; thoughts (trying to understand) inflame to further trigger intense negative states. Identifying this has actually reduced the impact just by having an awareness of the true degree of my sensitivities. This video is so helpful; requires a rewatch 🙂🖖
This is a powerful correlation that directly relates to me. I was diagnosed “Asperger’s” at age 50 and it made so much sense in many ways, especially the sensory and social areas. But after coming to terms with CPTSD there is absolutely no doubt that my adult issues are related to my childhood and things that happened until I eventually left home at age 17. This is so important and I hope more research and talks like this continue to come to the forefront.
Just started listening, this is exactly what I've been thinking about (wondering) today. I have ADHD but have some things that overlap with common autism traits, like extreme sensitivity to noise, and I've been wondering if I have a sensory processing disorder simply due to being neurodiverse, or if my sensitivity to noise has to do with growing up in a home with unpredictable loud sudden scary raging (or both).
Your content is just gold! I am a certified AuDHD and Trauma coach for women. I am Autistic and ADHD with prolonged childhood trauma. Untangling the two is intense work but well worth it. I was not diagnosed with ADHD until I was 49 and Autism at 50. So much masking to unlearn. Thank you for the good work you do on here! It is incredibly useful. 🥰
Yes! More of this content please! Exactly what I’ve been wondering about, and it’s so great to hear about it from a professional! Many thanks for your deep dives and openness!
I was diagnosed with PTSD last year and have struggled to understand it , thinking I have autism and not PTSD. This video helped me understand the difference between the Two and answered so many questions I have ever had. I’ve never felt so close to understanding until I saw this.. literally brought tears to my eyes . Thank you so much for this video. It’s opened my eyes tremendously!
This is what my therapist is trying to figure out right now. It's been eye opening for sure. Oh, and feel free to speak on a topic for as long as you want lol. Information on stuff like this needs to be everywhere. Thank you for making this!
In my case I have come to the realization that my autism is pretty much indistinguishable from my CPTSD. My earliest major trauma took place before I was even one year old as my biological mother got run over by a car right before my eyes. Thereafter, my father in his desperation almost instantly married a new woman who turned out to be a covert narcissist. Needless to say, my traumas just kept on piling up from there. It's impossible to tell whether my autism symptoms began manifesting before my trauma symptoms or which affected which more. Despite the origin of it all, the thing that turned my PTSD complex was definitely my upbringing. As soon as the "inconvenient" autistic traits started to show in me - mainly motor difficulties, stimming, and early signs of executive dysfunction - my parents decided that instead of getting me checked, it was better if they tried to "fix" me themselves. This involved kitchen-variety behavioral training, in which they verbally punished me for "undesirable" actions. They used to yell at me when I stimmed and shame me for my "bad table manners" (I've always had great difficulty getting food into my mouth without a mess no matter how hard I try). The sense of shame was instilled in me very early on. One scene I still get flashbacks from was a mother's day in pre-school when we sang for our mothers while holding potted orchids. I was "a bit too happy" (as in positively overstimulated) and stimmed by shaking the pot so that some dirt fell on the floor. Afterwards my mom told me she was "so ashamed of me that she wanted to die on the spot". (As a matter of fact she really liked to threaten me and my dad with self-harm, maybe due to our shared abandonment trauma.) So, of course I wasn't "fixed", I just learned to mask my natural behavior out of fear - first in front of my parents and later at school when the bullies discovered me as the perfect target I was. I'm not saying an early diagnosis would have necessarily saved me from the bullying, but at least it would have probably made the teachers pay more attention to my well-being instead of chalking it all up to "attitude problems" and punishing me for my messiness and social difficulties. But no adult could believe I had _real_ problems because I was academically very successful thanks to my mother compensating for my executive dysfunction with her strict management. I ended up seeing that success as my only value as a human being, which of course came crashing down when I inevitably hit my limit. After years of developing anxiety and depression leading to a total mental breakdown, unsuccessful anti-depressant treatment and even worse first round of psychotherapy, I finally got my autism (Asperger's) diagnosis in my late 20s. It explained a great chunk of my problems, but not all of them. A few years later I found a good therapist who recognized the CPTSD in me. I used to think my childhood "wasn't that bad" because I wasn't really physically abused or neglected, but indeed - my brain was fertile soil for PTSD to begin with and everyone cultivated it like crazy. I sometimes suffer from impostor syndrome regarding my autism diagnosis, thinking "what if it's _just_ trauma after all" and wonder if I should be allowed into neurodivergent spaces or not, but I believe that it doesn't really matter which part of me comes from which disorder - they both shape me into the person I am just like any other trait people may have. ...And maybe it tells something that I only truly feel at peace among other autistic people.
Thank you for this video! I may have something for you to add to the research pile, someday (if it resonates of course). I don’t believe you've mentioned it before, but it is actually believed that giftedness is a form of neurodiversity as well. Just taking myself as an example: I suspected ADHD, then added autism, was officially diagnosed with autism few years ago, now I - and some others - believe I’m way more likely gifted than autistic (maybe ADHD still), plus some level of trauma or emotional neglect (CEN). Most of this trauma would simply come from thinking/feeling/functioning differently and having a different outlook on the world and life itself, that is traumatizing enough apparently. Even my autism coach, who herself is diagnosed with ADHD (and takes medication for it too), is starting to believe she is gifted (perhaps besides ADHD) since we started discussing it, though we haven't talked about this topic specifically for a while now. So yeah, it's (been) a whole journey to figure this out. So please, only do what feels right, but something tells me you would LOVE Linda Silverman’s talks on youtube (especially her talk in the Netherlands, first video I believe is "the unique inner lives of gifted children"), especially the concept of ‘asynchronous development’ you may find interesting. Hope it would give you some insight, not just for us or for your work but yourself. Like you said, there's still so much to learn, personally and as a society, and it is as overwhelming as it is exciting to find new things. Btw I love seeing more and more professionals who themselves experienced (some of) the things they help people with. Thank you for the work you do!
thank you for this video it’s fantastic!! Thanks ALSO for mentioning ADHD briefly, because it can “cancel out” some of the traits some of the time, and makes it harder for people to notice the autistic traits. I’ve able to “lean into” adhd traits my whole life, until i had a big traumatic unfolding thing happen in my life over the course of several years. Now i’m finding my autistic traits have sort of taken over and the adhd traits that helped me socialize have (at least temporarily) dried up … so this video is making a LOT of sense to me and my lived experience. 42, AuDHD, she/he/they pronouns Thank you!!!!
This is an excellent video. I might quibble about the "little bit autistic" debate. During my diagnosis, the psychologist said something to the effect of, "You are definitely not neurotypical, but I don't know if you show the traits strongly enough to be diagnosed as autistic." Then I shared with her my experience with the RMET assessment, which I had done on my own, not with her. When I told her about it, she said, "That's it. You're in." On that assessment, I scored lower than the average for neurotypical people, but higher than the average for autistic people. But I was guessing at the answers. I'm very good at multiple choice tests. I'm 75 years old, and girls were not diagnosed as autistic when I was in school. I had very high academic achievement through high school, but my social anxiety was very high. Almost all my problems are with social skills and proprioception. The way I look at it is: If autism is caused by differences in brain structure; every single individual, whether NT or ND, has slight differences in brain structure. Whether those differences add up enough to make that individual be "officially" considered autistic is somewhat subjective.
My mother was definitely a parent I walked on eggshells with - as I’m trying to identify how much of my abuse and trauma was caused by her. But as I’ve been researching and coming to conclusions of the autism and trauma in my own life, I’m realizing that her issues were also autism. The genetic link in families. And that would tie in to the discussion about how autism used to be acquired through ‘bad mothering’. And how much guilt I’ve carried in raising my own kids, and those I’ve passed it onto, and feeling that it was a reflection on my behaviors, rather than my genetics. And as I’ve been reaching out to my mother, and we’re finding new understanding for ourselves and each other, we’re finding a lot of healing. This knowledge is so important, especially in being able to bond again with someone close to you, who understands, after years of disconnect because of blame and not knowing the underlying cause.
Was adopted at 4 but was terrorized by the adopting family because my bio mom (their child) was an alcoholic junkie and had learning issues and i was told since I was really little I was trash and a burden. Bullied through school, put in homes, got in bad relationships and now at 46 I almost can’t function. I was wrongly diagnosed as bpd and other where they were leery to allow my kids around me. My kids are my life and wanted better for them than i had. Their dad has terrorized me the last 20 years and I can’t maintain housing now, I can barely go shopping to buy stuff for my youngest i do have custody of, and yes without incident. He is safer than anyone I know. I have my paralegal degree because I had to earn it to protect myself because people use my issues against me. Really is rough living like this. I send hugs to everyone who has these issues. Its hard as hell. ❤❤❤ Thank you for your videos and time. They are very informative and helpful.
I hear you and believe you. Please try to just live in your own peace and block the negative talk in your mind. Keep going and striving for better. Baby steps every day. I wish the best for you. And please hang in there for your kids. Laugh every day. You can do this life you’ve come this far.
Shut up! Block it out, all the negative. You have a paralegal degree, you are a smart and achieved person treat your self how you treat coworkers. Focus on the positive one thought at a time
@@EmilyBdaBestMomma I don’t have coworkers. I only have 3 months work experience my entire life, I’m pretty much housebound. I can’t handle people like that. I have my paralegal degree because I can’t afford a lawyer to fight for my kids. But one day at a time is all i got.
Thanks for sharing with us, we hear you, we see you, I can't honestly imagine how hard it's been all that you've been put through and I'm really proud you are here today sharing your story, this is also hard as hell. I hope you find the strength and self-compassion to get through whatever comes your way, and your children may be able to break this cycle of violence and embrace you for who you are. There is hope, please hang on. Sending you all good energies and empathy on this planet.
@EmilyBdaBestMomma Re abusive self talk, I found that what works for me is seeing it as an external force that is impinging on me. And tell it to go away. It is not me. It is a negative energy that is harming me and NOT ME. This is not what is told to do ie embrace the self talk as part of yourself but that doesn't work, at least, not for me.
I'm really glad you brought this up. I'm just now getting diagnosed at 41, but when my daughter was diagnosed about 6 yrs ago, that was shortly after clinical studies had seen the similarities between Autism and Child PTSD. When the guy who diagnosed my daughter asked why I wanted the assessment, I told him I wanted to make sure it was autism and not CPTSD because the symptoms were extremely similar and if it was CPTSD then regular autism services wouldn't help her much. He flat out called me a LIAR and that I was wrong even though I kept pointing him to studies that had been recently concluded. One of those "I'M the expert, not you, so you don't know what you're talking about" things. He diagnosed my daughter with autism, and though I think it was the right diagnoses because more research into it earlier this year lines up with everything she does, that psychologist (and many others) would rather insult his clients than offer a proper diagnosis just because HE hadn't heard of a certain criteria or symptom (which I feel it should be mandatory to keep up on all that stuff if your job is to diagnose people; and punishable if they don't keep up on it because a wrong diagnosis could lead to serious problems for the clients down the road). I know I have CPTSD + Autism, and I suspect my daughter has some CPTSD too but Autism is the primary program running in her. So YES, the symptoms of CPTSD - even just REGULAR PTSD - are sometimes indistinguishable from Autism. And it's not a bad thing to diagnosis, it just has to be done correctly so the people with actual PTSD can get the proper therapy to help them heal from that.
I am somewhere where you are. I had already determined CPTSD, but then decided it was Austism. Then I discovered childhood trama. I really enjoyed this video. It was the first that addressed both. I had already thought this. However, I am making space. It is a long process, most especailly because there is little information. Thank you for the video!
I’ve been watching videos on autism and it resonates a lot and has had me wonder if certain behaviour I have I thought were due to trauma are actually related to being autistic… great video! I have a lot of inner work to do…
RIGHT. ON. with that explainer at 4:00 about the NUANCES with words and all the semantic insinuations e.g. between "Asperger's and complex trauma" versus "autism and complex PTSD" being *received* differently This part is SO huge, and influences why I toggle my language and word choices depending on certain people I'm speaking with, to try to make sure my message actually gets received with optimal fidelity
Such a great video, thank you dr. Kim! I have very good reasons to suspect I have both. I can relate to HSP, also dealing with anxiety and depression. It's so isolating and a lot of times soooo hard just to exist. All that you described rings so true for me but I'm also still researching. Think I'm suspicious bc I feel like now at 38 I'm okay at social cues most of the time but all that I remember is having lots of issues socializing and keeping friends since childhood. I thought it was from family dinamics and early abuse but there's just this sort of inherent feeling and always present sense of restlessness and strangeness and dissociation everywhere I go. Socializing feels a lot like multitasking for me. i come home, I crash and barely get some sleep. Plus health issues on top of all that. It's just crazy. Even now sharing this makes me so tense and wanting to put this message out correctly, but it's so hard to convey with words how it feels. You did so much better job at describing that. This video feels to me like someone finally verbalized how I feel for basically all my life (still reasearching that and dealing with imposter syndrome).
For me it was a combination of both. I clearly have Asperger's and ADHD, but these were exacerbated by trauma both at home and at school. My life has been a roller coaster ride from Hell, but now that I'm older (68, male) and have discovered my Asperger's Dx (I was diagnosed with ADHS 35 years ago) things have finally snapped into focus. And for that I'm grateful. I don't want to glamorize early trauma and/or AUDHD but everything together broke my hold on this world, and vise versa. And now that it's obvious that the world is broken, I feel some sort of vindication because I've always felt that way, but was in the small minority. Now that's changing.
Thanks so much for this video, as someone with dissociative tendencies/childhood trauma who has also been aggressively refused a proper autism screening for most of my life (as a female who can make eye contact) I've been struggling to truly understand what finally getting that diagnosis means for me despite it being two years ago. I clicked on this out of interest but have found it's really really helped me cement in my brain that I am most definitely both autistic and traumatized and how different and yet intrinsically linked they are! Recontextualising my childhood and adolescent experiences with this understanding is a lengthy and difficult process but I feel like I really made progress today 😊 thank you! ❤
It's so interesting! I can relate to everything, being autistic and having cptsd from my toxic family, NPD mother, and because of the amount of difficulties due to autism high masking and HP. I like neurology and genetic and epigenetic research. There is so much to be found! And your little cat is so cute 😊.
If you still have a 45 minute version of this video I'd love for you to post it as well. You are describing my whole life and personality.. I've been trying to figure out why I am the way I am for decades. You're the only one talking about this. I want to hear more detail please .. thank you! ❤❤
Suffering my first major trauma at 5, I was always told that I had PTSD. Then just 2 years ago I was finally diagnosed with autism and I finally started to understand more about myself and my childhood. This video helps me understand why so many things seem to create more trauma instances throughout my life. I'm 53 years old and wasn't diagnosed with autism until 2 years ago because they thought it was just PTSD and now I understand why. I thank you so much for that understanding that I needed so much. I can't thank you enough.❤
I have been diagnosed with ADHD and as an adult I've been diagnosed with CPTSD. I have experienced lots of abuse and trauma but I believe it was due to adults/young people who were intolerant of or took advantage of my undiagnosed and unrecognized autistic traits (i.e. sensory issues, stimming, and being stuck non verbally and or physically). I'm 40, married with 4 kids. Life is HARD. But everyone thinks I'm just crazy/ lazy/ not good enough. I relate to all of these points... But getting a diagnosis/therapy is next to impossible being my age, having successfully masked for 40 years, being a woman, being conventionally attractive... The list goes on. My quality of life is low, my marriage sucks, parenting is hard and though I have a therapist, there isn't much hope for change.
OMG this was me a year ago for sure. Healing some cPTSD allowed me to reconnect with my body differently and yikes! There was a lot of stuff I got sensitive about really quick and so many more meltdowns. I had to relearn everything. Basically I had to isolate to start to learn more about how to manage it all. I have skills now and tools and I am way better off and more present but my life daily is a bit more complicated. So it does get better. I think I feel a lot more acceptance of myself.
The course section on what happens when autistics have ACE will be so important. You’re right about the impact of losing aspergers-type profile. Could you do a mini-course on what happens when an asperger-type high masking female highly intelligent kid has childhood trauma. It can even be generational-my father had almost daily ragey meltdowns, which were traumatic. My mother’s adhd meant she’d neglect us, leave us places, not feed us, and so on etc. Their careers in special interests were most important. And of course the impact of their daily battles. Absolute unsafe chaos, on top of autistic neurology. And they had their own ACE from some ND parental behaviours. Anyway, it’s complicated but also clear that these would have predictable outcomes. Thanks for this excellent video!
+1 on the topic recommendation. So little resources in understanding the overlap of ASD/ADHD/CPTSD in what I’ll call high masking females. Add in NPD parents/siblings on top of it. COVID times and the living/relationship/work situation I put myself in wrecked 30+ years of processing progress and now I’m struggling even more so than the powerless child I once was. Feeling so unmotivated to start over in figuring out how to best carry myself.
@@HoodBanksy oh wow, this is also me, I'd love to see a professional talking about those overlaps between ASD + ADHD + CPTSD (+ OCD in my case) and NPD parents. Life is just SO hard. Depression has been eating me alive since early childhood and now, in my mid-30s, I have chronic illness. I'm just so, so tired.
@@HoodBanksy tbh the best I've seen on the subject is Gabor Mate's talks and interviews on youtube plus his books "Scattered Minds: The origins and healing of Attention Deficit Disorder", and now "The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture". Totally recommend.
Well, it is official [and you, Dr. Kim, are the person who first alerted me to question, because I would have never guessed and, obviously, no one else would either!]. I found a psychologist who specializes in evaluating for autism, ADHD, and OCD and does telehealth in many states. I am waiting for the written report, but at 65, my autistic traits have finally been acknowledged [that have predominated over ADHD traits, but no one would ever acknowledge these challenges, when I am the one who figured out my ADHD diagnosis in the first place!]. Such a relief. I finally don't feel like I need to be wasting time trying to "prove" myself and can focus on healing and teaching from my own experience, given that is all I have left.
Great video! I recently found out about issues with the Anterior Cingulate Gyrus causing problems with executive function. As this is what is called "brain fog" in CPTSD. The overlaps are interesting due to the same part of the brain being affected. P.S Your warmth and personality are very soothing. 🙂
Fascinating information! I feel like I need to do a venn diagram to sort out the differences/similarities between complex ptsd and autism. So, my trauma happened at an early age and then again as an adult. Therefore, I will have to dig deep to get to the root of my behaviors, actions, and reactions to others and my environment. Once again, thank you so much, Dr. Sage! Did I happen to mention that this subject/topic fascinates me to no end!! Also, thank you for the excellent links you provided. ❤
I have been wondering about these differences and similarities between trauma and autism. Thank you so much for this video. I am 61 and both of my adult children are diagnosed with autism and adhd. And as I learn more, I see it in myself as well. Haven’t been diagnosed yet. I also grew up with an alcoholic father and very active over brothers. Being the youngest and only girl seemed to highlight my sensitivities in a way that caused me a lot of embarrassment and belittling. So I learned to mask for safety. Just learning about stimming and other techniques. Being a yoga teacher, sound healer and energy worker, I have learned a lot of spiritual techniques that help to calm my nervous system but I can feel the tension in my body more as I become aware of these conditions. Thank you again for this information. It is all so validating.
I have PTSD (probably CPTSD if it were diagnosed in the USA) and autism. While they do overlap a lot I still think that they are different. My mom said when I was born I didn't like being touched and had to get used to it. But the main reason I think that they are different is because I was on a few adolescent units full of abused kids. I still did not fit in with most of them. They had social skill problems but not like me. They seemed to understand social cues better. They had fewer sensory issues. A couple seemed more autistic. But not all of them.
Moving. Omg. It's horrible. And social situations where I've been misunderstood and punished. I feel seen. Subscribed! I'll be a psychologist soon, I think your channel is going to be good for me.
I cannot thank you enough for this. I've had cPTSD my whole life for various reasons (mostly abusive parents), but I've recently been wondering about autism, too. I've been looking into it more because my partner has evident symptoms of autism and a lot of them resonated with me. Videos like yours are so helpful in my understanding.
You can imagine how it is when no support is available and one has to thread life bearing the cross on their back! I truly appreciate all you, and all the people like you, make available to us. It seems to me that you know me more than I know myself. 😊
I grew up in a highly toxic family with a narcistic mother and a codependend father. I experienced emotional and physical abuse in childhood. So I developed mutism and was not able to speak nor to make a phonecall at the age of 20. I found a good therapist who helped me with my communication. I will have a lack of communication issues and other problems my whole life. My question always was : Would I have such problems now if not had suffered from severe traumatic incidences in my childhood ? Probably not. Thank you for this video . I research a lot on this topic. ❤
Would difficulties making phone calls or answering telephones be a possible sign of autism? I've REALLY struggled with this ever since I was really young. Unless it's calling someone I know very well, I have to plan everything I say ahead of time, rehearse it, and then call. Even for making a doctor's appointment. If I make an appointment in person, I do fine. But I SERIOUSLY struggle with phone calls. I honestly hate them, always have, and love the fact that we can use social media to keep in touch. No more of those OBNOXIOUS RINGING PHONES--or having to speak on them.
@@christinakuhn5739 it could be that problems with calling people is a sign of autism. The problem is that cptsd has the same symptoms as autism. For me the question is, if I had been raised by a normal Family would I have the same problems now.I 'll never know.
@@heifie2540 I know. It's hard for me to tell because I think I may have some CPTSD, too. I honestly remember being scared and LEAVING THE ROOM when the telephone rang (remember those old shrill ringing noises from the 1980s?). I had a similar reaction with doorbells. I couldn't stand the unexpected DING DONG of the door. It didn't start from some negative experience with phones/doors, though my parents did, like most good parents of the '80s, talk to me about not answering the door to strangers, and I think I must have somehow internalized it. Fast forward to last year, when I ordered from Door Dash. I actually became tolerant of ringing doorbells, if only because I started to associate it with yummy food. But on the whole, I still don't like either sound. I keep my phone perpetually on vibrate mode and rarely have it in my hands. I call everyone back when critically necessary, if I can't handle by text or Facebook PM. Hard to know for sure. I have taken several autism questionnaires online and have seen consistent results suggesting autism. No formal evaluation or diagnosis at this point.
i could hve creid listening to this. ive always felt the affects of the cptsd growing up but after having a child with autism its hightened the emotions and can relate to my child in so many ways.
Thank you for putting your work and experience out there. I’m a CSA Survivor with diagnosed C-PTSD who was also diagnosed with Aspergers av few years ago. Knowing has been life-changing. Though I am a neurolinguistic practitioner specializing in C-PTSD now, I still struggle with knowing quite the lines are. I think it’s a very good idea to realize that it’s not really that important what it is, as long as one sees the effect it has had on their life, re- processes their experience one way out the other (all, lol), and makes personal and life choices changes that support their own true happiness and stability. I have learned and grown much from your videos, as well as Patrick Teahan and Anna Runkel, (The Crappy Childhood Fairy). Thank you. What I do is take it deeply into people with specifically childhood sexual assault related CPTSD, and I have developed a program that is going to print with Bradley group soon! I would love to talk with you, if you have the time. And don’t worry, I hate to talk on the phone, too! Give me a camera, and I’m going to change the world. Thank you for helping. This is a video I made probably a year ago on being autistic, and the fact that autistic children have 70% higher chance of being sexually assaulted than Neurotypical children.💖 ruclips.net/video/-rroFOIcrPE/видео.htmlsi=q22--o_0Vt1r86oj
Noticed when taking walks with boyfriend that he watches ppl's faces carefully. He often asks why someone stared at him, while I didn't even look at the person, sometimes I think that same person is smiling. Trauma survivors are often mistaken as paranoid, but I think it's just survival suspicion, when they can't tell whether a passerby is nice or dangerous. Rather notice one predator too many, than miss out on an occasional attacker.
@@anothercat9600I’m a trauma survivor. My psychologist said I have hypervigilance and hyper awareness from brutal abuse trauma. I am always watching people, assessing movements, facial expressions, my surroundings, reading the energy of people as an attempt to protect myself. It’s exhausting.
The kitty in the background is a soothing detail to this video! The contents of this video are extremely helpful for me. I will be utilizing this information along with the data about myself and neurodivergences that I've been gathering for the past several years in my requests for formal diagnoses from my physicians. Thank you, Dr. Kim!
This is great - very clear info! I wish my ex-therapist could see this. I don't think therapists get it at all. She kept pushing me toward, well that's your cptsd (which yes I have) but she discounted my experience as an actually autistic person, and she never got that. Thank you!
So happy to have found this account! CPTSD and bipolar 2 with a little bit of ADHD here. (I also used to stutter as a child.) I've been told by others that I might be on the spectrum. I don't think I am - my sensory issues depend on my levels of stress/anxiety. But this was very informative and also... THERE'S A KITTY!
I related to it all and more. The eggshell narcissistic parents and trauma also caused me to suppress and compartmentalize my emotions. This seeps into my body and manifests as fibromyalgia. Autonomic nervous system dysfunction, mitochondrial dysfunction etc. It's horrible. Every partner was abusive and hypersexual where as I'm demiromantic ace. Sounds, lights, smells trigger migraine and physically my body sends shocks of pain when people yell, I drop something etc. It's hard. I'm exceptionally book smart but socially stupid. I can read emotions in people and animals but not motives in people. I read many autistic adults are treated like babies after telling employers etc. Yet we're more intelligent. My ex's all had adhd only, used me to regulate as none of them wanted to budget, or take accountability for anything. That burden was horrible. I do it on my own to keep my safety, my routine, but executive function is stressful. I'm consistent but big corporations, electric companies, banks, etc are not. Smh.
Thank you for sharing because I almost COMPLETELY echo your experience. Most of my ex's had ADHD, with my recent being the most severe. But the worst part is he's an undiagnosed psychopath and have been having so much anxiety since I broke up with him - fearing for my safety most hours of the day.
Thank you for covering this topic. I have wondering about this in myself, between having a lot of compounding trauma from childhood abuse and neglect, as well as having a sibling who is severely neurodivergent. I know my brain functions abnormally, and I have a terrible time socially. I also know I have sensory issues (usually in the form of my diagnosed ARFID) (among other sx). I also have chronic anxiety/depression, sleep issues, dissociation, memory issues, and lots of upsetting/intrusive thoughts and feelings surrounding the traumatic events I experienced as well as about myself (among other sx). I hope to get evaluated when I am a fully independent adult, to find out for sure. All in all, beautiful video. It makes me feel better to know that I'm not alone in not knowing exactly what is wrong with me.
Most autistic people have cptsd from the experience of living in a neurotically oriented world and basically being gaslighted by everyone since we experience the world so differently so it is hard in a research context to separate autistic and trauma related traits.
Thank you for this video, I just started therapy at 34, never diagnoses with anything, but I have plenty of trauma. And possible adhd. But i wasn't sure if i was confusing cptsd symptoms for autism. After watching this im a hundred percent sure i have autism, lol. I kinda knew that already. I wish the world wasn't such a harsh place for us. All I've ever wanted in life is to give and receive love and acceptance.
Yeah I pretty much went through a lifetime of trauma physically mentally verbally and sexually. This was all in my childhood. It wasn't for my faith and christ. I don't think I'd be on the planet. In some ways, I feel I can relate to almost anything. I am thankful for the healing I have received in many ways. Some of it was supernatural , and some of it was through counseling EMDR therapy.
Such an amazing video. Thank you so much. I've been on this journey for a couple of years. I could not work out why my trauma responses were so intense, or why I had such poor emotional intelligence when I explored my childhood experiences. Finding out I was autistic was an 'aha'! Moment. This video joined up all the dots so well. I really appreciated you talking about high making, something that I have done for years. It is so stressful and anxiety inducing, and I can no longer do it. I'm in autistic burnout, and my sensory sensitivities have gone through the roof😢
Thank you for the video Dr. Kim! I'm over 50 and don't remember much about my childhood so I'll probably never get a formal diagnosis. I don't remember repetitive behaviors or having sensory issues. I do remember hating cigarette smoke (my dad smoked) from the time I was a toddler. I also had rigid thinking in that I was rule follower and would get upset (cry) when peers didn't follow them. I just remember crying in school and being bullied for it or whatever weird thing I was doing from Pre-K to 9th grade. By the 9th grade I was able to isolate myself and not interact with my peers anymore. I focused on the academic world including spending 10 years in college. Took years after college to get a job. It actually required seeking mental health help and I got hired by the organization I was seeking help from and been there ever since. I've always had a fairly supportive family otherwise I couldn't have spent so much time in college. Mom was accused of "babying" me growing up, but that's because she saw the distress and anxiety I had . It's still there, but I can handle it better now. I moved at the end of 5th grade, just when my peers were beginning to tolerate/ignore me. Of that would of lasted another year before Jr. high started kids from a different school join the class. Not sure if anyone would have stuck up for me in this hypothetical Jr high. Ok back on topic TLDR: rigid thinking from a very young age (toddler?) School bullies from Pre-K to 9th grade. (Solved by not interacting with peers as much as possible) Going to be easy on myself for actions and reactions that have been with me for longer than forever.
In many cases they can. It is called comorbidity. My eldest son was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, I had depression, but still suffer with Dyslexia and OCD. With my youngest son, no other diagnoses have been made as yet. They just told us he is autistic and later on they put him on level 3. He is non-verbal, we're doing parent training with him at the moment.
@@maxamiumoverdrive78 I work with children that have level 3 autism and I just want to say that I understand the challenges you are going through. Remember that you are not alone, there are many people that want to be there for you and your son ( school for example or other resources you can file for). Everything will be okay. You got this. ❤️
@@mothergingah1319 We have our ups and downs and sometimes to the point where I want to run away. But, he has had early intervention since baby. We are in South Africa so the resources that are available in the USA and the UK are not available to us here. Doctors here try and avoid diagnosing or treating autism, that also goes for medical aids. Thank you for your kind words, support and encouragement. ❤
@@maxamiumoverdrive78 I am from Sweden and here we put our hearts in every child to really make their life great and also help parents. We do have a lot of resources here for children and parents and I am so sorry that it isn't quite like that in south Africa. 😞 I hope you take the support for what they do offer and I hope your network is loving and supportive. It isn't easy having a child with autism 3 and everything in everyday life everyone struggles with on top of that. I hope everything goes well for you. 🙏
@@mothergingah1319 I actually took it upon myself to further my own education, I got diplomas in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Speech Therapy, Teaching special needs children, Brain Disorders and Sensory Integration Disorders, as well as other health related conditions and child welfare. I try and help others to better understand and be more supportive towards their children, if they're willing to listen. I agree it has been a roller coaster ride and the journey has not been easy. However, I would not change any of my children, they are amazing just the way they are. I would love to keep in contact with. 💗
Thank you for this video, what you say is spot on. I think that society as a whole is reprehensible for how punitive it is towards sensitive people with very real painful feelings. I've spent a lifetime wishing for the luxury of a tough hide that dismissive judgmental people take for granted. My life experience of human society and it's inherent cruelty has been little more than a war of attrition. Thankyou for highlighting the very real struggles people with Autism and trauma face.
Thank you for all the work you do. I think we all experience trauma in one form or another, and I really appreciate your input about autism as it relates to trauma. I’m not sure I have autism, and I can’t say I’ve experienced crazy trauma, but the things you say really do help me understand myself a little better.
This video has really helped, thank you. You're so right, once you see it in your family you can't unsee it 😂 it started with me having an epiphany at ny personal struggles through my life, most of which involved not understanding what social rules everyone else seemed to just know and I had no idea, then I realised my sensory aspects after my best friend empathically commented I didnt do well with conflicting noises and if I'd gotten hot then realising noises, labels in clothes amd smells overwhelm me and that I'd always been this way. Then I suddenly realised my daughter has been counting EVERYTHING since she was little, gets easily overwhelmed, says things like what is your face saying right now... and as for my elderly mother...!!! Then I worried it was PTSD. This video has been incredible helpful. My daughter has a mental health assessment in a month, and her autism assessment has been requested. She is suffering CFS/ME and her medical team, and I are wondering if undiagnosed autism has contributed. Masking is hard work, school is exhausting, counting everything and straightening everything, seeing patterns everywhere, its exhausting.
Omg. I found you last night, took the AQ, RAADS-R, and CAT-Q self-assessments and scored high on all of them. I’m 45, and was diagnosed with Dissociative Disorder, PTSD, and ADHD in my thirties. Those diagnoses explained a LOT, but also left a lot out, and I’ve been really feeling like I’m just so different from most people without understanding why. Your videos are making me feel so seen and validated!!! I feel like I can relax and stop trying to figure out and fix myself, because the way I interact with the world has a reason and makes sense to me now. Thank you so so so much for this.
Dear Samantha I left a comment in another video... Since autism is inherited and has so many similarities with trauma... I wonder if autism would be somehow to do with generational trauma, do you have any thoughts on that? Thank you so much for all the insightful information. 🙏💖💕
I’ve been repeatedly shamed for being a sensory hypo-sensitive in many ways. I realized that it was autism when I saw my kid regress to the point of being nonverbal. I kept telling myself that it couldn’t be autism, because he likes me is a HEAVY sensory seeker. This kid wants to cuddle everybody. He is often so physical that I feel like I’m interacting with a 45 pound pit bull or wrestler. It is not the stereotype you imagine. I wish I had known sooner. It would have helped him and myself much sooner had that knowledge be widespread. Another example of our sensory seeking is desiring the combination of strong flavors. My little boy will say very few words, but one of them is “kombucha” because he wants it so much 😂 I love it! That’s my boy! And yes, autism and ADHD run in my family, yet I still couldn’t see it until my kid was nonverbal 😅 And we both have hypersensitivies as well.
I love that line of your at the end there: "Once you see it you can't unseen it". I personally am seeing a lot more little traits here & there in my mum, dad & brother. ^_^
Oh yes, faking being ok. I learned how to do that as a kid.
I obviously still do it, I have to quite often.
It's why if I do lose my temper it seems so sudden. It's not sudden.
I just hit my "faking it" limit.
That is such a good way to describe that
@@oliviac6539it really is❤
Yes! Omg!!! My mother just passed away and I'm reliving my childhood all over again! She was my best friend! She had cancer but she wouldn't have the hospital with COVID. And I was allowed to go with her. The only way that they would let me see her is if I would come up there and take her off a life support. Now I have to pretend like I'm AOK. What's the people around me think I am big overly dramatic.
Spot on!
Perfectly said.
I was contemplating how I feel in social situations the other day and I literally wrote in my journal, “I don’t care what you think I just don’t want to misunderstand.”
i feel this
Man at 27 years old my mother literally has taken me back to live with her, but all she does is share my autism with others almost like I can't do anything about it, or as if I am helpless or something, I don't know if that is narcissism or immaturity, but she acts as if she has all the answers and I don't. I feel like I was setting up a life for myself but she is thwarting it by treating me like as if I an helpless against my autistic diagnosis, and when I always tell her it could've been something else she says "no it is autism" she thinks she knows because of a simple diagnosis. She never let's me talk in public, She throws my autism out to everybody she is around. To make herself look better, and I got another woman calling me a loser because I still stay with my mother, it is bullshit!! I have many people saying it indirectly on Facebook too, like I got the whole goddamned world against me! Makes me wanna say fuck God, I literally get no likes on RUclips with comments! People fucking ignore me on Facebook! And people say nah, your crazy or this that, fuck I'm not they are!!
@@brandonmiller4672Speaking from experience, narcissistic mothers need to be needed. I got out (sort of, but not without chronic health issues), but I’m still trying to help my lil bro 😢 Ma actually said to me she was “glad to have her baby boy back” 🤮 when his issues got so bad he became homebound again at your same age 💔 Narcissists’ backwards thinking makes them need to keep their children “innocent”, young, helpless, sick, needy & dependent on them. They do not know their own truth or purpose due to abuse they endured, so this gives them a warped sense of purpose & boosts their fragile ego. It’s all very backwards, sad & sick. It is one of the worst kinds of abuse to “ignore”~which is what them suppressing your own inner truth & self is. And ignoring can & does slowly, chronically & steadily cause debilitating physical & mental illness to the point of death! I’m so VERY sorry you are going through this! ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
I hear you! I see you! I know your truth. You exist!! YOU are capable! 💪🧠 Don’t let any broken person take that from you 🙏
P.S. I’m so over these ppl blaming us and other BS & not taking responsibility… not realizing autism comes from trauma/mainly narcissistic abuse. May I advise you to study narcissism like craayy!!! 😅 It will open your eyes to many many understandings & help set you free. Knowledge is power 🙌
@@brandonmiller4672
Imma just post my list anyway it’s bound to help somebody 🤞🤗🙏❤️🩹
1. Doctor Ramani
2. Understanding Narcissism with Elizabeth Shaw
3. Richard Grannon
4. Danish Bashir
5. Mental Healness-Lee.
Hammock
6. Patrick Teahan-LIcsw
7. Teal Swan
8. NarcDaily-You Are Not Alone
9. Psychopath EXposure
10. The Game Exposed
11. Empress of Light
12. Empaths Refuge
13. Ace Metaphor
I like that. Can i use that and write that down? I want to think about that phrase.
13 years of bullying and rejection that happened in the public school system due to undiagnosed autism gave me CPTSD. But again, I also had enmeshment trauma from my mom who had high narcissistic traits, so it all blended together. But the mean people were at school. Lots of things can be worked through, but not everything. Loud voices or yelling still really jar my system.
My only reason for wanting to live as a teenager was the expectation that when I get out of scrueI, I would be away from kids and be among adults, and things would be better.
Life was somewhat better but I was never whole and healthy until I met Jesus.
We home schooled our child.
Rejection and scapegoating while at school will really mess you up. My family added a nice brick to that wall, when I started cutting myself instead of getting help I got accused of taking drugs and stealing. I've been on my own since I finished high school, almost 20 years and counting. Sometimes I miss trusting people, but for the time being my distrust and lack of hope is winning. Therapy helps, to an extent. But it's a long road.
This is my case exactly. My heart sunk while reading your words... My classmates used to pit on me and call me "monster" on a daily basis, while my mother couldn't care less about it all because she was just so disappointed in me for not being as pretty and feminine as her. I am 42 now, I got my autism diagnosis last year, and my mind screams at me, several times a day, that I'm ugly, pathetic and disgusting. I went no contact with my mother, but I really don't see a way out of this feeling.
The sound of people near me laughing if I didn't specifically see or hear what they are laughing at triggers a sinking feeling for me because of all the bullying and being laughed at in elementary and junior high mostly. I'm 38 now.
@ClaireGreen-wd2gm ugh same. I know it's technically paranoia, but not back then when their laughing near you WAS actually about you like 90-99% of the time.
At 76 years old, I have learned that I am aspergers and cptsd. I am relieved to still be alive so that I know the WHY of who I have been all my life. There is sorrow for who I might have been, and anger over abuse I should not have had in my life. But this late in life, to have an exultant affirmation of what I knew more than 70 years ago gives me great peace and strength.
I don't know when you put this video together, and I don't know how I happened to check your channel tonight, but the coincidence of it all is proof of connections which come to us as mysteries bringing wisdom and wonder.
Thank you...
@SScott-uv9is ❤thank you for sharing
I’m so happy you have some relief in knowing. For me it outweighs the grief.
“There is sorrow for who I might have been, and anger for abuse in life I should’ve never had.” 💯 I hear the pain in that sentence, I’m sorry that happened to you, and I completely understand. 😢
can i ask a question ..how do you rate your intelligence ? 1-10 ?
Do you find that with the C-PTSD, your body is in a permanent state of cringe?
I was mocked for being angry or dysregulated (crying as well), I am now unable to express emotions spontaneously. I have very intense emotions internally. I am faceless.
I cry every day uncontrollably. I know mine is from trauma because i'm experiencing some trauma right now. And I cannot regulate to save my life. 😢😢😢
@@terristripstipsandtalk I cry now too sometimes when alone but its exhausting.
I relate immensely. I can hear or see something that makes me feel incredible sadness or rage, and inside my head I'm screaming and cursing, but I won't be able to say a word, not even change my facial expression.
@@terristripstipsandtalkI use theater cues, (art), to help me with self-regulat, as well as child devolment courses, family and consumer science, studio art, arthistory,t philosoph(Rast west), psychology, old movies, (black and white) audio books, physical activities....
I am guided by the seasons and I give myself the time I need to adapt.
I use Reggio Emilia art philosophy to guide me to find my ikigi (Japanese theory to find purpose)
It is pleasurable therefore relaxing.
I have said many times before to my family and friends that all the therapy did for me as a bullied and abused and neglected child needing a support team but was forced to see a psychiatrist instead…he was the only person on my team but ….all it did was rob me of the ability to have and show normal human emotions. I was forced to see a psychiatrist at the age of 13 on and I now know he saw what the problem was but kept his mouth shut to protect me from the problems….because there was absolutely nothing he could do to save me from them except continue to be my only support system…..as soon as he stuck up for me to my parents…stating that I didn’t have a problem and that they need to lay off me for once…my parents made me stop seeing him. I was on my own from that point on and it sucked…I didn’t find out that he stuck up for me until years later when my mother was talking crap about him and how he didn’t fix me at all…I wasn’t the problem…my reactions to their abuse was the problem and they wanted me to stop reacting and just accept that I was the problem and to die….now my mother is going out of her way to try having me arrested and institutionalized based on lies her and my psychopath brother are spreading that I’m not even aware of lol…until recently that is when I was told by a stranger that I was the person to talk to if someone was needing some shite…eh hem…wtf? I absolutely hate my mother and my siblings…my dad is a flying monkey for my mother and gets confused and frustrated because he is around me and knows I’m not doing and saying the things they’re accusing me of but he gets around them for even a moment and gets convinced otherwise just like that
“More hyperarousal, more startle response, more insomnia, more anger…” It’s like you’re talking specifically about me.
💯
I feel attacked😂😂
Same
I don't want a label. I just want people to understand that I can't help it that I'm different. This feels like a death sentence.
you may be different, but they're the ones making you feel this way, so they're the ones who are wrong, not you.
I love having a label. It really helps me accept, understand and forgive myself.
This 🙌🏽
exactly
At least when your dead, you don't have to be the square fitting into a circle opening.
As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help
People need to realise that people with anxiety disorders have oversensitised nerves, it's not a simple case of manning up and getting over it.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about how mushrooms and psychedelics treats anxiety, but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, Doctor Greg Mushrooms he is a great man of God who has the great insight on psychedelic and mushroom. He will guide you on how to use mushrooms to get good trip.
Please, how do I reach doctor Greg?
He’s on the internet
I'm a 47 year old autistic woman with CPTSD. Thank you for helping me unravel all the various traits and aspects that come with this combination. I used to think of myself as very unusual and alone, and the more I learn, the more I see my experience as very typical and normal. It's so reassuring to not constantly feel like an outlier. Thank you again for putting this information out into the world.
i feel this way too
It IS good to know that there were others all along. I just assumed I was a "shut-in." An old term, but I knew it had been used to describe people "like" me in the past.
I have PTSD, and whenever anyone asked me if im autistic, I always said no, and have always believed that it was all due to anxiety and trauma.... however from watching a few different videos today, Im starting to wonder if Im possibly both. I dont ever really use labels in my normal life, and im fine whether i am or arent, but it never occurred to me before today that i might possibly be both (or that someone might be both.... Id just never thought about it before). The thing that started me to question it today, was watching a video talking about what autism can look like in children... and i realised as a kid a lot of that resonated with how I was (and that was before I had the trauma so it wouldnt be PTSD related) and I was very surprised by it..... just wasnt expecting it. I dont think Ive really understood what autism is in the past, I had very limited knowledge of it, an whether I am or arent, Im glad that im finally learning more about this, its good that there are these videos to spread more awareness. Thank you for sharing your story Amy, and thank the channel owner for their video too. 🌹
You know what helps me? I have a picture of myself at about 5 years old and see this smiling free boy and I hug him and say I love him and you are the true self, not what happened to you or done to others through your symptoms.
My autism developed into a special interest in the social sciences (especially the intersection between philosophy, sociology and psychology), which complicates things A LOT!
the snake biting its own tail lol
@@azloii9781 Haha! Here I was thinking I was taking responsibility for my own health to become a productive member of society, but after somewhere around 10 years on this path the health professionals made it perfectly clear that my responsibility was to work and that they were the ones that were supposed to get payed for figuring out my health. Challenging them on what they "know" does not work. Not only that, but they also mock me by stating that the fact that I am now financially screwed because of my pursuits (investment in wisdom) is not a legitimate reason to be mentally unwell according to their profession (source of income).
Pretty much the same for me. Do you think its good for us to be so keenly interested in philosophy (in particular)? If autism is linked to a heightened (more than just casual) interest in these things, which it just might be, then there are extremely potent ideas meeting with unusually wired cognition. (How many times have people tried to tell you that joke about the word 'gullible' not being in the dictionary? Used to happen, all the time, with me and I think it's because I tend to take things at face value.) I don't think autistic people are as ready to question the integrity of what we are told as neurotypical contemporaries are.
@@batintheattic7293 I question the integrity of what people are saying based on me knowing more than them about what they are thinking ... I dont know much about their drives and motivations though -- that sort of thing always puzzles me. This is also the reason why I dont know if its a good idea for me to be interested in these things. I struggle with understanding my own motivations just as much as I struggle to understand other peoples motivations. This ensures my continual relapse into depression. What I do know is that most people cant stand my relentless questioning ... so I tend to be more accepted by religiously minded people, even though I dont have a firm stance on God other than it seeming to be a reoccuring subject and a question in philosophy that one cant escape.
@@batintheattic7293questioning for some of us is a personal specialty! I’ve driven every neurotypical mind in my life bonkers over my questions, they seem to be at peace with not knowing something, I can’t sit with that I haaaaave to know all the details and every scenario so I can make an educated decision.
I wish all therapists were as honest as you. For 25 years they were confident in their misdiagnosis, never telling me or my mother they didn’t know.
At 38 years old and after years of research, I finally got diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder 1. As a kid, I was repeatedly misdiagnosed, drugged, and sent to homes for “troubled teens”. …which is a big reason I’m one of many autistic adults with C-PTSD.
This is why I support self diagnosis when it’s done properly. I had to diagnose myself before I could finally find the correct specialist and actually get a correct diagnosis.
If you're autistic, or primed to epigenetically trigger as such, NPD or BPD parenting provide more than enough trauma to hide the autism or the CPTSD. I've always been moderately dyspraxic and highly sensitive. I didn't realize just how much the latter until my system reset to become even MORE sensitive after three and a half months of intensive chemotherapy. As a child, my mother was my most persistent bully, making fun of just about anything. The majority of her bullying in the early years was disatisfaction on her part with my development and physical quirks. I remember distinctly how harsh she was when I was seven, making fun of my bubble butt and telling me I walked like a girl. Around kindergarten, she put me in a swim class, which I enjoyed-until parents' day when she held on to me and took me to the deep end, dunked me repeatedly because I would supposedly have some sort of epiphany. Again, when I was seven, she used to throw me into the pool in our apartment complex to "sink or swim," so often that neighbors picked HER up and threw her in, which fortunately DID stop her from doing it to me. I couldn't whistle soon enough, or ride a bike soon enough, and I was too quiet most of the time. Only much later in life did she tell me that TWICE, entering 2nd and 8th grades, the teachers tried to convince her to have me skip a grade, which she declined because she thought I was too immature, completely missing the point that the teacher had been having to accommodate me by either sending me to read with a higher grade class, which made me stick out as the odd one, or work on my own on the periphery of the classroom. She didn't get ME at all, only that she thought I made her look like a bad mom for having a child that was different. Frankly, she WAS a bad mom, quite often. When she became a single mother, I became a latchkey child, and glad that I was; I had to endure her far less. Thank goodness my grandparents lived only a block away, though mind you, my grandmother was also NPD (covert, self-righteous).
One very GOOD thing that unfortunately also masked my difficulties was that they were all highly regimented, my mom an army brat, and my grandparents raised Methodist/Salvation Army through the Dust Bowl. That regimentation kept me organized enough for me to excel in school, which slowly ebbed the longer I was only my own as an adult, until my difficulties with executive skills finally beat out what was left of my routines and living by my DayPlanner®. Sadly, rather than address my odd academic flubs from a humane angle to figure out underlying reasons, my mom instead got angry that the otherwise Straight A student f'ed up. So since I wasn't really hyperactive, my ADHD didn't get addressed whatsoever. I came to hate group assignments because I usually failed them or came close. Wow, I thought I just had a short blurb to tell. lol Alrighty, then. My point yet stands, that parenting probably makes an enormous difference for autistic kids in either limiting or grossly exacerbating the neurological trauma responses, depending on the ability of the parents to nurture while sussing out and learning to work around problem elements. Commanding rather than teaching works even less with autistic children than with neurotypical.
Thank you for sharing this ❤
❤
Thank you for sharing this - I strongly suggest you write a book about this experience some day because I feel like it could help a lot of people. I grew up with a covert narc parent and am on the spectrum and still trying to find info about how this probably affected me developmentally. I didn't have a bully parent the way you did (and I'm so sorry you did) but I did have some overlap. Stay strong 🙏
@@jmo534 I intend to, have intended to. I just had so much to sort out before knowing how to begin and in what format-memoir, fictionalized autobiography, short essays like David Sedaris. Thank you for your expression of caring. It doesn't land on deaf ears and, hey, nothing like encouragement to beat inertia. :)
@@loveoverfearalways Your handle is the best! 🕊
As someone with C-PTSD and not autism, I think this misses the mark on the biggest difference I see between the two. I am hyper aware of people’s facial expressions and am better than the average neurotypical person at reading body language and social situations. This is probably an adaptive skill from growing up in a very chaotic environment, where I needed to know how the adults around me were feeling at all times. There is a bit of discomfort in social situations, but it’s from a fear of rejection, and not from a fear of misunderstanding something or being misunderstood.
I've had PTSD for 15 years, and lately since autism has been talked about way more, I couldn't help but notice that some of the things people say are austism characterists match with some of the PTSD ones (on paper), but if you have ptsd you know it's different. You're exactly right... People with PTSD are hyper aware to their surroundings and other people's emotions, behaviours, expressions, etc. while austism individuals do not have that awareness. They don't pick up on things like that at all..
@@lfedits1353 yes, exactly! I’m sure many people have both autism and PTSD (as seen in the comments), but honestly I think it’s harmful to imply that they could be the same thing. I’ve also seen many people speculating that highly sensitive people are actually autistic. There’s some erasure happening of our lived experiences when people try to imply that all of these are somehow autism. I’ve never seen actual C-PTSD experts make those speculations though.
I am hyper aware of people's facial expressions and body language, I just often have no idea what that means for that person or what to do about it or how to act appropriately in response to it. So I don't think that's exactly a distinguishing factor between the two.
@@lfedits1353yes they do. I got 2 autistic kids. one of them is very aware of people's expressions.
@@cornchips007 That's probably the difference. Not only being hyper aware but hyper responsive to tone, expression etc. Like with C-PTSD the slightest indication of displeasure can instantly trigger appeasing behavior. Maybe that doesn't happen with autism? I have a fear of talking on the phone because it cuts me off from some of that non verbal communication that I rely so heavily on. I also feel uncomfortable if someone is wearing sunglasses when talking to me because I can't see their eyes. I am super dialed in to that non verbal communication because growing up knowing what the person was feeling meant knowing how at risk you were from them at that time and knowing how you should behave to try to keep yourself safe.
I want to add that high sensitive people (HSP) also have some of these signs at the daily base line. For instance constantly being sensitive to stimuli or taking longer to regulate after a stressful event. So if someone is HSP and has early complex trauma, it is even more difficult to distinct it from ASD.
That’s what I thought… also having a hard time when routines change, loving to be on their own …
Yes, HSP have sensory issues and social emotional issues, well I know I do. Still haven't pinned it down. Thankful for the discovery and journey though.
I saw somewhere that research is showing that HSP might just be another autism profile (like PDA)
Yes. I agree. And sensitivity makes it easier to be traumatized. I often wondered if I might be autistic, but I'm social and extraverted and love eye contact, hate routine, love spontaneity. I'm more adhd but still subclinical and probably just trauma.
I feel like this is me :(
“You’re not a little bit autistic, you either are or you aren’t.”
Thank you! This needs to be screamed from the rooftops. Also, what you mention in the beginning of this video-that if you think you might be autistic and have c-ptsd, you may well have both. This is insightful and I wish more mental health professionals understood and acknowledged this.
Good luck with your autistic realization journey, btw. You say you’re not sure yet, but frankly, the fact that you already have a firm grasp of autistic experience tells me you probably are. Your professional experience plays a part, I’m sure; but in my experience, even well-educated and empathetic allistic mental health professionals struggle to describe monotropic experience in an actually relatable way.
Every therapist I have had who specialises in neurodivergence is actually neurodivergent themselves whether they know it or not. Something pulls them to the topic, a sense of understanding that is only there if you've been through it and relate.
Theres a spectrum. Thats what people mean. Try to be more empathetic to how people see you. Its not easy to identify an autistic girl who is social and verbal compared to a non verbal anti social type person.
My mom told me this.
Your therapist said....your autistic
So I am autistic?
No. Well just a little bit autistic
You're wrong but keep telling yourself it's a black or white situation.
@@demi3115 do you know what autism is?
23:15 this was so INCREDIBLY validating!!! I am autistic and have severe C-PTSD, and I've tried *sooooo* many therapies, methods, techniques, treatments, etc. over the past three decades that have NOT helped me, and I'm left feeling like a failure and thinking, "What's wrong with me? It worked for all these other people, why not me?" Of course, during the majority of that time, I had no idea that I am autistic. Now I read or listen to audiobooks that talk about "healing your nervous system," etc. and think, "Yes, but has this been tested on people with autism?" So many of the things these therapies talk about seem to be only seeing neurotypicals, never taking into account the completely different way neurodivergent brains work. It's all too easy for a therapist to say "do this technique" without realizing that technique *won't work* or will *work differently* for someone with autism. The worst part is, after you've tried so many things that don't work, it sets up an endless loop of "failure" that's extremely difficult to deal with --- when the failure isn't yours at all (certainly not for lack of trying!!!), it's the failure of the therapy/therapist to take into consideration that *not all brains work the same*.
SOOOO looking forward to your course on Eggshell Parents -- mine were both narcissistic, likely psychopathic, abusive, and very very unpredictable. At the mere mention of "unsafe parents, where you walked on eggshells," tears sprang to my eyes. I have so much unhealed trauma over my abusive childhood, which years of countless treatments and techniques have been unable to heal (again, at the time I didn't know I have autism).
Oh, and the bit about misunderstanding --- that has happened to me in SPADES throughout my lifetime, up to and including the only job I was ever fired from. My manager interpreted an email I'd written to the team in the *complete opposite* way than it was intended, and no matter how I tried to explain what I meant, she kept insisting I meant the opposite. (In hindsight I believe she was abusive and manipulative, possibly narcissistic -- which I have a history of such people in my life, starting with my parents -- and was purposely trying to get rid of me, which they eventually did.) Even my own sister often misunderstands what I'm saying, and she's autistic as well. Having autism (especially high-masking autism) is infinitely more difficult than most people can imagine.
Thank you for mentioning that seeking an official diagnosis can sometimes have negative consequences. People look down on self-diagnosis but it’s not always even safe for people to obtain an official diagnosis.
Spoiler Alert: It’s Trautism
LMAO
Traumautism
Sounds about right
That’s real😂
Lol😂
This video applies to me I feel like. No matter what I say to my mom about my needs or how I feel she blames me for them. Meanwhile my younger brother can have literally the exact same need (eg: not wanting to drive in loud traffic with ambulance sirens everywhere) and she will respect his needs while making my needs a huge deal and or make me feel like a huge burden on the family. Please Lord save me from my own life. I need help sir. Please and thank you 🙏🏻
Makes sense. I've often wondered if I'm on the spectrum but never assumed I am because of the childhood trauma. The physical abuse started when I was a toddler and didn't stop until two of my friends witnessed the abuse and my parents had to worry about consequences (I was about 13)... the emotional abuse continued.
Anyway - I'm extremely sensitive to noise and bright lights (i legit make lights flicker when I'm triggered), I have extreme social anxiety, I don't deal with confrontation well (in the sense that I literally don't know how to defend myself)...
One of the things that has helped me a lot (aside from learning my triggers and how to deal with them) - yoga. I cannot recommend it enough for survivors of any trauma. You'll like the effect on your body too. An added bonus!
"she's too social, but if she wasn't we'd diagnose her with ASD." That is the paraphrased assessment I got as a very young child. I had a significant speech delay. I have numerous learning disabilities. And as for social? I distinctly remember as a young child preferring to play independently. There was a tree on the playground at my elementary school. I would sit under it and play with toys I had brought from home. I remember teachers getting frustrated trying to get me to play with the other kids. But they didn't want to play how I wanted to play. And I didn't understand there were rules to their games. In preschool I brought in the huge bucket of worms for show and tell. And I kept trying to wonder off to play with it. To the point my otherwise empathetic preschool teacher snapped and threatened to dump it out in the yard. It was a sensory thing. I can go on and on. I had an eval as an adult because I wanted to see if I qualify for asd. My raad score was 165. Definitive diagnosis. My in person assessment was definitive neurotypical. "How can I have two starkly different results?" My psychologist couldn't explain it. I did also experience CPTSD. But it was recognized and documented very early on I wasn't neurotypical. I joke that I deserve an EGOT for my masking. Because when my mask does slip people struggle to understand what's happening.
Oh wow... I can relate to what you said about preferring to play alone in school. I used to do something similar--play by myself. I think I tried to socialize and make friends in 1st grade, but it was too challenging/exhausting, and I felt like I didn't fit in. So I was happier by myself. In fourth grade, my teacher actually nudged me to sit by another girl who was also sitting by herself. We didn't quite bond then, but as time went on, we did slowly become friends--for a while. But a year or so later, she grew angry with me, said I only talked about three things: my sister, my cat, and (I forgot the third). She didn't want to be my friend anymore. It really stung. :(
I don't know my own speech development when I was an infant/toddler, but I will say this: both of my sons were delayed or nearly delayed in their speech. My older son was fully evaluated. They commented on how well he was able to listen to stories and asked me how long he'd listen to me read when we were at home (easily 30+ minutes). He just barely passed the mark and didn't have an official speech delay. We didn't go through the eval with my younger son, but I'm pretty certain he was a bit delayed and might have even been diagnosed. Older son loves playing alone. I now wonder if he may be autistic. Younger son...? Kind of too young to tell (he's only 3). I've been tempted to have my older son evaluated for a while now. He's also likely gifted, but I suspect there's a bit more to the story about him. I do know if I didn't homeschool my kids, this older son would NOT FIT IN (speaking as a former public school teacher).
Maybe you're masking really well. I took an online questionnaire that showed I had VERY high masking scores--which makes sense. I struggled for SO MANY YEARS to "fit in" but didn't really feel like I did until college. I think, between college and years of elementary school teaching, I learned more ways to mask/hide myself. But at my core, I'm strongly suspecting I may be autistic, too. I went to therapy back in my 20s and was considered a "Highly Sensitive Person." Most of my therapy was related to getting along with people and behaviors my parents considered "extreme" (possibly meltdowns).
@@christinakuhn5739 if you can see if you can get a psych eval and ask to have a raad score test. There are other tests they can run to diagnosis ASD. Especially if your kids are showing signs
You deserve a school to care and be considered for your needs not just to fit in. I was bullied by kids all the time older than me girls mainly because I wasn’t a pretty girl. I was bullied to point I had to fight the hardest the oldest so it would stop. I remember the girl who supported me always. She said they will stop hitting you. I don’t regret this but no child should have to suffer like this. TEACHERS SUPPORT THE TRUTH CHILD IS QUITE OR LOUD FOR A REASON.
You are braver than you know. The tree have given you a friend a life lesson, the people should get to know you seem a beautiful person inside out. I wonder if they think about their actions in school and how they change their mind if they really went through what you did.
Being alone and having straight up loving person who cared so d
The neurologist I sat in front of last year to be evaluated for neurodivergence finally just laughed at me and started explaining attachment. I would only have similar traits if I have significant trauma. I didn't receive any help. He didn't do a proper assessment. How awful can someone be? I'm so tired of trying to get the right treatment. I have for years. I have AuDHD AND CPTSD. With dissociative elements. 'Professionals' have told me all kinds of things over the years. From 'I just imagined my trauma' to 'I 'just' have trauma' It's awful. Yes, complex trauma traits can *lighten* with good work around them. But most days I wish I was deaf (eventhough I love music) because I'm SO sensitive to sound. That is very different to being startled/triggered by a sudden noise. I could have a wonderful day but the bright sun still feels like someone burning my eyes out with a torch. And the issues in social interactions. Ohhhhh. Don't even get me started. The symptoms might seem similar but the lived experience is very different. Of course one would have to properly listen to and believe the person in front of them to understand that.
I completely relate to this comment.
I've unfortunately had very similar experiences with uninformed doctors.
@@aftonair I'm really sorry. I hope it helps a bit that you're not alone in this. But it really really shouldn't happen like that😔
@@hannahk.summerville5908 your comment reminds me of the dr I met with. she called me catty and said its unlikely autism but ptsd and bipolar because of my monotone.
Thanks for the reply and giving an explanation how they are different. I have CPTSD but I am not autistic. Having both must be exhausting.
It's wild, I'm moderately deaf and I wish too I could be (fully) deaf as I'm very very sensitive to bass from being born with hearing loss- my brain looks for the sound and I get tinnitus, sensory overwhelm 24/7 in ebb and flow!
I feel luckily atleast to take my hearing aids out and the world becomes more muffled and quiet a little bit!
I also agree that "high masking/ high functioning" are helpful terms. I am currently going on a deep dive and slowly coming to the realization that I may be autistic and that I never knew/was diagnosed because people only saw my outer experience and not my inner. Example: my husband did the grocery shopping this weekend because I was hiking with a friend. This morning, as i made my breakfast, I realized he bought oven roasted instead of honey roasted turkey and I just stood and stared at it for about 3 minutes and he asked if I was okay. I explained that I was trying to decide on a different breakfast option because it was the wrong turkey, not because he did anything wrong (because I didn't specify honey roasted turkey), just because it was not planned/part of my routine and I found it deeply unsettling. What if the flavor/texture are off? I wasn't prepared for different turkey. The sheer fact that this comment is so detailed and focused around sliced turkey makes me go...hmm? Am I claiming autism because it's trendy or is this legitimate. I often have instances like this that I don't think Neurotypicals experience. I don't think it is "normal" to want to throw your breakfast away because 1 item is slightly off. 😅
My soul is in tears. Just hearing put into words how I've felt for so long " , putting on a normal face but inside I'm so anxious and tired.
Im 53 and have both. Just realized
GOD LOVES YOU 💙💜💛🧡🩷❤️🩵💚💖🩷🧡🤍💛🩵💜💙❤️💚💖
@SarahUsrey You'll need to be a LOT more specific, because most gods clearly don't.
15:19 this absolutely! I definitely feel like my autistic traits made it so my traumatic experiences were much more impactful to me than I suspect they might have been for an allistic person, to the point where I wonder if my experiences would have even registered as traumatic to someone without my autistic traits (without going into detail, my hyperempathy, pattern recognition, and even my oversensitive hearing were factors into how I processed the abusive behaviors that surrounded me) and it has sort of created this feedback loop where the autistic traits facilitated the traumas formation, the trauma triggers the autistic traits such as emotional dysregulation, and the autistic traits exacerbate the traumatic responses.
so for example my hyperempathy (autistic trait) might cause me to over identify with a character in law and order, which will remind me of my own trauma (cptsd flashback), which will cause me to become easily dysregulated (autistic trait), which will cause me to ruminate (overlap of cptsd and autism), which will make it increasingly difficult for me to emotionally regulate enough to get out that headspace. once I do, everything becomes about avoiding, avoiding, avoiding until the next time I hit that feedback loop
I am not in the least bit surprised to hear this. My husband struggles with trauma from heavy verbal abuse and severe emotional neglect in childhood to early adulthood. Although he's healing, I have often wondered if there is autism involved along with some learning disabilities that resulted. This video validates the research about the brain changes / damages / adaptations that occur due to long-term childhood abuse and neglect. I hope you can also speak on the degree that neuroplasticity can aid in healing even the symptoms that mimic autism in the traumatized.
you got instantly disregulated after the dogs (possibly) needed you and you felt the need to finish the video on their time. That is so relatable honestly.
Yeah, that was such a raw human moment. It definitely made her feel more relatable.
That was very helpful, Dr. Kim! You have a very good voice for what you do.
My Asperger's diagnosed grand daughter brought me over a book given to her. She may have been about 8. It was called, 'All Cats Have Aspergers.'. We read it together and there were roughly 52 traits. I columized our findings to, 1.Not at all. 2. A little. 3. A lot. She had 27 syptoms full tilt and I had 17, full tilt. It explained all of my sensory issues. Its rough growing up wih people making fun of you, bullying you, shaming you and telling you that you are too sensiitve. My 71 yr old older sister never stopped bullying me.
But yes, I have PTSD from a few things in my life. Never mind the physical health problems.,
Everyone that I was close to is now dead. Life is just too hard....
I wish you all the very best!!!
A great example of how generations assist each other! We so often see the combative side of intergenerational relationships but I confirm my grandmother was so good at helping me navigate ASD. My mother refused to get help for my sister and I (a whole other story) but my grandmother has always been so steady and kind when she helped me navigate a chaotic and scary world.
I'm sorry you're feeling alone and that you've lost people. When I think of my grandmother, I will try to keep you in my thoughts as well, and I hope your grandchildren are spending time with you! I spent so much time with my grandma but I still regret every missed second.
@@anabsolutetrashfire1312 ,
So nice of your reply to me, Dr. Kim. You were so fortunate to have your grandmother. I didn't have that. My only son, moved out of state because he didn't want any kind of responsibility. His only daughter died last yr around the time of my father that I cared for. Very alone with major chronic fatigue upon my other health issues. Things look bleak for a lot of people right now due to the economy and other current issues.
But I navigate what I can in a firm belief in Biblical promises of a better earth under the Kingdom of Christ. It appears to be coming soon. God does not lie and in Revelation chapter 5, it highlights that God's kingdom will eliminated sorrow, sickness and death forever. With the added hope of seeing the resurrection of our deceased loved ones again. Haven't we all lost so many that were dear to us, Kim?!!
So until we see the reality of a grand hope, we find fellowship in either those or our religious congregations, or/and hopefully through others like yourself that can target certain issues on a deeper and professional manner. You have a God given gift for what you are doing!
I have seen a few counselors in my day. Maybe the deepest source of my depression/anxiety/frustration, is that at age 12 I developed an epileptic/familial head tremor, like Kate Hepburn had. It has ruined my life. Very hard to work with it also. Also kept me from normal social interaction. But one counselor just wanted to keep me coming and talking. Another was helpful. A group setting was not helpful.,.... The best one that I had seen, got another job but left me her number on my answering machine. I accidently erased it and never got to find her, either. Oh well!
I am so glad that I found you! Your most recent video, was so thorough. You know how to express yourself at a speed and tone that is healing in itself. May God bless you in all that you do. Kim!!!!!!
Much love and appreciation from Connecticut!
I wonder how it would be if you changed the words “you” for “me” as you changed part way through your comment. I imagine that’s a bit of dissociating. If you’re open to it, maybe try it. 😊 No judgement, I just noticed. CPTSD over here so I do it too and try to catch myself. ❤
@@andrialouiserose ,
Hmmm........
In my non authoritative analysis of replacing me with you, I was thinking that since I never liked to be the center of attention, not using 'me' may take some focus off of myself. Also makes me less looking like playing the victim card to a degree. I think the source of my intent was to acknowledge the abuse of so many others. Does that make sense, Dr. Kim?
Have a great week and thanks for your reply!
@@bethelle9099hello and I wish you well - I think RUclips is a massive help.
I too have sensory sensitivity. So good there’s more choices nowadays besides those scratchy blankets and horrid brushed nylon nighties.
I've been diagnose with PTSD and CPTSD. I was told during that process that I couldn't be diagnosed with Autism or ADHD. They said my traumas started at such a young age that a baseline can't be established. I don't believe that is true and continue to research for clarity. I appreciate your videos and learn something from each one. So, thank you! I wish you all the best on your journey.
I have read that If you were abandoned by your mother (physically like given for adoption or she left you at daycare at one month old, or emotionally like she was clinically depressed). Then you were abandoned and you have no baseline of normal.
Ive been told the same thing, yet my trauma didnt start until i was 13. So there is a baseline, my childhood and parents are fantastic, yet i wanted to no longer exist sged five, i had no friends, struggled with social interaction ect. Its really unfair how they look for any reason to not look into things further.
I too think that more information on walking on egg shells with parents and having autism is well needed. Thank you for your video.
I agree.
Autism seems to include reduced empathy, and that excludes my own experience. But eggshells, oooah!
@jj4791 autism does not necessarily include reduced empathy. More intense empathy is possible, but the ability to express that empathy is likely to be impaired.
@@karenstanley9694'the double empathy problem' is really interesting! Autistics and allistics often misunderstand one another re empathy.
I just purchased the book
What Happened To You?
Thank you. I was wrongly diagnosed and over medicated for nearly two decades. For me is cPTSD and things FINALLY started making sense after my daughter moved to the Spirit world. She was also very wrongly diagnosed for the 22 years she was here in human form. Hypervigilance, hyper awareness, dissociation in a desperate attempt to protect ourselves. It’s exhausting to say the least.
The part about PTSD treatment not being able to help with certain aspects of autism is so true
Been working through trauma for a few years now, but was getting frustrated that it wasn’t quite working…
Last month just before Christmas I concluded autism is the only thing that could explain what the trauma couldn’t
Its still been tough since but at least I know
Yes, this happened to me too. I was so frustrated because I felt stuck in my treatment. Then a mental health professional pushed me to consider autism. Now it makes more sense why I was stuck.
A video expanding on this & mentioning specifics (what is unhelpful, what is helpful if you have autism & CPTSD) would be sooooo useful ❤ Thank you! ❤
For me, it's been years of work and changing so many bad behaviors that were coping mechanisms. Now I'm like, why am I still struggling when I've been sober for 8 years and I've been doing all this other work? It's frustrating, and it's got to be something more than just ptsd
I realize i may be autistic and it also shows me things i didnt see and possibly wasnt caring for properly which obviously doesn't help, but in having this realization literally at 11:11 and making an appointment to get started on my mental health journey earlier today, im humbled im not even like upset it means i know whats wrong and how better to care for myself
You’re fortunate
It's taken months to unravel (to an extent) the degree my sensory sensitivity impacts the intense anxiety and rage response from seemingly inconsequential sounds (particularly); the ruminating and inability to read social cues magnifies the emotions because of hyperfocus on the seemingly tiny detail; thoughts (trying to understand) inflame to further trigger intense negative states. Identifying this has actually reduced the impact just by having an awareness of the true degree of my sensitivities. This video is so helpful; requires a rewatch 🙂🖖
This is a powerful correlation that directly relates to me. I was diagnosed “Asperger’s” at age 50 and it made so much sense in many ways, especially the sensory and social areas. But after coming to terms with CPTSD there is absolutely no doubt that my adult issues are related to my childhood and things that happened until I eventually left home at age 17. This is so important and I hope more research and talks like this continue to come to the forefront.
Just started listening, this is exactly what I've been thinking about (wondering) today. I have ADHD but have some things that overlap with common autism traits, like extreme sensitivity to noise, and I've been wondering if I have a sensory processing disorder simply due to being neurodiverse, or if my sensitivity to noise has to do with growing up in a home with unpredictable loud sudden scary raging (or both).
Your content is just gold! I am a certified AuDHD and Trauma coach for women. I am Autistic and ADHD with prolonged childhood trauma. Untangling the two is intense work but well worth it. I was not diagnosed with ADHD until I was 49 and Autism at 50. So much masking to unlearn. Thank you for the good work you do on here! It is incredibly useful. 🥰
Yes! More of this content please! Exactly what I’ve been wondering about, and it’s so great to hear about it from a professional! Many thanks for your deep dives and openness!
I was diagnosed with PTSD last year and have struggled to understand it , thinking I have autism and not PTSD. This video helped me understand the difference between the Two and answered so many questions I have ever had. I’ve never felt so close to understanding until I saw this.. literally brought tears to my eyes . Thank you so much for this video. It’s opened my eyes tremendously!
I cannot tell you how timely this video is for me. Thank you so much. Looking forward to the next ones.
same, you're definitely not alone! crazy timing. maybe we were meant to see it if ya believe in that sort of thing at all ❤
Same
This is what my therapist is trying to figure out right now. It's been eye opening for sure. Oh, and feel free to speak on a topic for as long as you want lol. Information on stuff like this needs to be everywhere. Thank you for making this!
Omg me too currently!
I was just finally diagnosed with HFA with my BPD and PTSD!
Also, thank you so, so much for this video! I was really feeling isolated/unseen today!
In my case I have come to the realization that my autism is pretty much indistinguishable from my CPTSD. My earliest major trauma took place before I was even one year old as my biological mother got run over by a car right before my eyes. Thereafter, my father in his desperation almost instantly married a new woman who turned out to be a covert narcissist. Needless to say, my traumas just kept on piling up from there. It's impossible to tell whether my autism symptoms began manifesting before my trauma symptoms or which affected which more.
Despite the origin of it all, the thing that turned my PTSD complex was definitely my upbringing. As soon as the "inconvenient" autistic traits started to show in me - mainly motor difficulties, stimming, and early signs of executive dysfunction - my parents decided that instead of getting me checked, it was better if they tried to "fix" me themselves. This involved kitchen-variety behavioral training, in which they verbally punished me for "undesirable" actions. They used to yell at me when I stimmed and shame me for my "bad table manners" (I've always had great difficulty getting food into my mouth without a mess no matter how hard I try). The sense of shame was instilled in me very early on. One scene I still get flashbacks from was a mother's day in pre-school when we sang for our mothers while holding potted orchids. I was "a bit too happy" (as in positively overstimulated) and stimmed by shaking the pot so that some dirt fell on the floor. Afterwards my mom told me she was "so ashamed of me that she wanted to die on the spot". (As a matter of fact she really liked to threaten me and my dad with self-harm, maybe due to our shared abandonment trauma.)
So, of course I wasn't "fixed", I just learned to mask my natural behavior out of fear - first in front of my parents and later at school when the bullies discovered me as the perfect target I was. I'm not saying an early diagnosis would have necessarily saved me from the bullying, but at least it would have probably made the teachers pay more attention to my well-being instead of chalking it all up to "attitude problems" and punishing me for my messiness and social difficulties. But no adult could believe I had _real_ problems because I was academically very successful thanks to my mother compensating for my executive dysfunction with her strict management. I ended up seeing that success as my only value as a human being, which of course came crashing down when I inevitably hit my limit.
After years of developing anxiety and depression leading to a total mental breakdown, unsuccessful anti-depressant treatment and even worse first round of psychotherapy, I finally got my autism (Asperger's) diagnosis in my late 20s. It explained a great chunk of my problems, but not all of them. A few years later I found a good therapist who recognized the CPTSD in me. I used to think my childhood "wasn't that bad" because I wasn't really physically abused or neglected, but indeed - my brain was fertile soil for PTSD to begin with and everyone cultivated it like crazy.
I sometimes suffer from impostor syndrome regarding my autism diagnosis, thinking "what if it's _just_ trauma after all" and wonder if I should be allowed into neurodivergent spaces or not, but I believe that it doesn't really matter which part of me comes from which disorder - they both shape me into the person I am just like any other trait people may have. ...And maybe it tells something that I only truly feel at peace among other autistic people.
Thank you for this video!
I may have something for you to add to the research pile, someday (if it resonates of course). I don’t believe you've mentioned it before, but it is actually believed that giftedness is a form of neurodiversity as well. Just taking myself as an example: I suspected ADHD, then added autism, was officially diagnosed with autism few years ago, now I - and some others - believe I’m way more likely gifted than autistic (maybe ADHD still), plus some level of trauma or emotional neglect (CEN). Most of this trauma would simply come from thinking/feeling/functioning differently and having a different outlook on the world and life itself, that is traumatizing enough apparently. Even my autism coach, who herself is diagnosed with ADHD (and takes medication for it too), is starting to believe she is gifted (perhaps besides ADHD) since we started discussing it, though we haven't talked about this topic specifically for a while now. So yeah, it's (been) a whole journey to figure this out.
So please, only do what feels right, but something tells me you would LOVE Linda Silverman’s talks on youtube (especially her talk in the Netherlands, first video I believe is "the unique inner lives of gifted children"), especially the concept of ‘asynchronous development’ you may find interesting. Hope it would give you some insight, not just for us or for your work but yourself. Like you said, there's still so much to learn, personally and as a society, and it is as overwhelming as it is exciting to find new things. Btw I love seeing more and more professionals who themselves experienced (some of) the things they help people with. Thank you for the work you do!
A lot of times gifted kids are autistic
thank you for this video it’s fantastic!! Thanks ALSO for mentioning ADHD briefly, because it can “cancel out” some of the traits some of the time, and makes it harder for people to notice the autistic traits. I’ve able to “lean into” adhd traits my whole life, until i had a big traumatic unfolding thing happen in my life over the course of several years. Now i’m finding my autistic traits have sort of taken over and the adhd traits that helped me socialize have (at least temporarily) dried up … so this video is making a LOT of sense to me and my lived experience. 42, AuDHD, she/he/they pronouns
Thank you!!!!
This is an excellent video. I might quibble about the "little bit autistic" debate. During my diagnosis, the psychologist said something to the effect of, "You are definitely not neurotypical, but I don't know if you show the traits strongly enough to be diagnosed as autistic." Then I shared with her my experience with the RMET assessment, which I had done on my own, not with her. When I told her about it, she said, "That's it. You're in." On that assessment, I scored lower than the average for neurotypical people, but higher than the average for autistic people. But I was guessing at the answers. I'm very good at multiple choice tests. I'm 75 years old, and girls were not diagnosed as autistic when I was in school. I had very high academic achievement through high school, but my social anxiety was very high. Almost all my problems are with social skills and proprioception. The way I look at it is: If autism is caused by differences in brain structure; every single individual, whether NT or ND, has slight differences in brain structure. Whether those differences add up enough to make that individual be "officially" considered autistic is somewhat subjective.
My mother was definitely a parent I walked on eggshells with - as I’m trying to identify how much of my abuse and trauma was caused by her. But as I’ve been researching and coming to conclusions of the autism and trauma in my own life, I’m realizing that her issues were also autism. The genetic link in families. And that would tie in to the discussion about how autism used to be acquired through ‘bad mothering’. And how much guilt I’ve carried in raising my own kids, and those I’ve passed it onto, and feeling that it was a reflection on my behaviors, rather than my genetics. And as I’ve been reaching out to my mother, and we’re finding new understanding for ourselves and each other, we’re finding a lot of healing. This knowledge is so important, especially in being able to bond again with someone close to you, who understands, after years of disconnect because of blame and not knowing the underlying cause.
Was adopted at 4 but was terrorized by the adopting family because my bio mom (their child) was an alcoholic junkie and had learning issues and i was told since I was really little I was trash and a burden. Bullied through school, put in homes, got in bad relationships and now at 46 I almost can’t function. I was wrongly diagnosed as bpd and other where they were leery to allow my kids around me. My kids are my life and wanted better for them than i had. Their dad has terrorized me the last 20 years and I can’t maintain housing now, I can barely go shopping to buy stuff for my youngest i do have custody of, and yes without incident. He is safer than anyone I know. I have my paralegal degree because I had to earn it to protect myself because people use my issues against me. Really is rough living like this. I send hugs to everyone who has these issues. Its hard as hell. ❤❤❤ Thank you for your videos and time. They are very informative and helpful.
I hear you and believe you. Please try to just live in your own peace and block the negative talk in your mind. Keep going and striving for better. Baby steps every day. I wish the best for you. And please hang in there for your kids. Laugh every day. You can do this life you’ve come this far.
Shut up! Block it out, all the negative. You have a paralegal degree, you are a smart and achieved person treat your self how you treat coworkers. Focus on the positive one thought at a time
@@EmilyBdaBestMomma I don’t have coworkers. I only have 3 months work experience my entire life, I’m pretty much housebound. I can’t handle people like that. I have my paralegal degree because I can’t afford a lawyer to fight for my kids. But one day at a time is all i got.
Thanks for sharing with us, we hear you, we see you, I can't honestly imagine how hard it's been all that you've been put through and I'm really proud you are here today sharing your story, this is also hard as hell. I hope you find the strength and self-compassion to get through whatever comes your way, and your children may be able to break this cycle of violence and embrace you for who you are. There is hope, please hang on. Sending you all good energies and empathy on this planet.
@EmilyBdaBestMomma
Re abusive self talk, I found that what works for me is seeing it as an external force that is impinging on me. And tell it to go away. It is not me. It is a negative energy that is harming me and NOT ME. This is not what is told to do ie embrace the self talk as part of yourself but that doesn't work, at least, not for me.
I'm really glad you brought this up. I'm just now getting diagnosed at 41, but when my daughter was diagnosed about 6 yrs ago, that was shortly after clinical studies had seen the similarities between Autism and Child PTSD. When the guy who diagnosed my daughter asked why I wanted the assessment, I told him I wanted to make sure it was autism and not CPTSD because the symptoms were extremely similar and if it was CPTSD then regular autism services wouldn't help her much. He flat out called me a LIAR and that I was wrong even though I kept pointing him to studies that had been recently concluded. One of those "I'M the expert, not you, so you don't know what you're talking about" things. He diagnosed my daughter with autism, and though I think it was the right diagnoses because more research into it earlier this year lines up with everything she does, that psychologist (and many others) would rather insult his clients than offer a proper diagnosis just because HE hadn't heard of a certain criteria or symptom (which I feel it should be mandatory to keep up on all that stuff if your job is to diagnose people; and punishable if they don't keep up on it because a wrong diagnosis could lead to serious problems for the clients down the road). I know I have CPTSD + Autism, and I suspect my daughter has some CPTSD too but Autism is the primary program running in her. So YES, the symptoms of CPTSD - even just REGULAR PTSD - are sometimes indistinguishable from Autism. And it's not a bad thing to diagnosis, it just has to be done correctly so the people with actual PTSD can get the proper therapy to help them heal from that.
I am somewhere where you are. I had already determined CPTSD, but then decided it was Austism. Then I discovered childhood trama. I really enjoyed this video. It was the first that addressed both. I had already thought this. However, I am making space. It is a long process, most especailly because there is little information. Thank you for the video!
I’ve been watching videos on autism and it resonates a lot and has had me wonder if certain behaviour I have I thought were due to trauma are actually related to being autistic… great video! I have a lot of inner work to do…
RIGHT. ON. with that explainer at 4:00 about the NUANCES with words and all the semantic insinuations e.g. between "Asperger's and complex trauma" versus "autism and complex PTSD" being *received* differently
This part is SO huge, and influences why I toggle my language and word choices depending on certain people I'm speaking with, to try to make sure my message actually gets received with optimal fidelity
Such a great video, thank you dr. Kim! I have very good reasons to suspect I have both. I can relate to HSP, also dealing with anxiety and depression. It's so isolating and a lot of times soooo hard just to exist. All that you described rings so true for me but I'm also still researching. Think I'm suspicious bc I feel like now at 38 I'm okay at social cues most of the time but all that I remember is having lots of issues socializing and keeping friends since childhood. I thought it was from family dinamics and early abuse but there's just this sort of inherent feeling and always present sense of restlessness and strangeness and dissociation everywhere I go. Socializing feels a lot like multitasking for me. i come home, I crash and barely get some sleep. Plus health issues on top of all that. It's just crazy. Even now sharing this makes me so tense and wanting to put this message out correctly, but it's so hard to convey with words how it feels. You did so much better job at describing that. This video feels to me like someone finally verbalized how I feel for basically all my life (still reasearching that and dealing with imposter syndrome).
For me it was a combination of both. I clearly have Asperger's and ADHD, but these were exacerbated by trauma both at home and at school. My life has been a roller coaster ride from Hell, but now that I'm older (68, male) and have discovered my Asperger's Dx (I was diagnosed with ADHS 35 years ago) things have finally snapped into focus. And for that I'm grateful. I don't want to glamorize early trauma and/or AUDHD but everything together broke my hold on this world, and vise versa. And now that it's obvious that the world is broken, I feel some sort of vindication because I've always felt that way, but was in the small minority. Now that's changing.
Thanks so much for this video, as someone with dissociative tendencies/childhood trauma who has also been aggressively refused a proper autism screening for most of my life (as a female who can make eye contact) I've been struggling to truly understand what finally getting that diagnosis means for me despite it being two years ago. I clicked on this out of interest but have found it's really really helped me cement in my brain that I am most definitely both autistic and traumatized and how different and yet intrinsically linked they are! Recontextualising my childhood and adolescent experiences with this understanding is a lengthy and difficult process but I feel like I really made progress today 😊 thank you! ❤
It's so interesting! I can relate to everything, being autistic and having cptsd from my toxic family, NPD mother, and because of the amount of difficulties due to autism high masking and HP. I like neurology and genetic and epigenetic research. There is so much to be found!
And your little cat is so cute 😊.
If you still have a 45 minute version of this video I'd love for you to post it as well. You are describing my whole life and personality.. I've been trying to figure out why I am the way I am for decades. You're the only one talking about this. I want to hear more detail please .. thank you! ❤❤
There exists a 45 min version? Where can I find it?
Suffering my first major trauma at 5, I was always told that I had PTSD. Then just 2 years ago I was finally diagnosed with autism and I finally started to understand more about myself and my childhood. This video helps me understand why so many things seem to create more trauma instances throughout my life. I'm 53 years old and wasn't diagnosed with autism until 2 years ago because they thought it was just PTSD and now I understand why. I thank you so much for that understanding that I needed so much. I can't thank you enough.❤
I have been diagnosed with ADHD and as an adult I've been diagnosed with CPTSD. I have experienced lots of abuse and trauma but I believe it was due to adults/young people who were intolerant of or took advantage of my undiagnosed and unrecognized autistic traits (i.e. sensory issues, stimming, and being stuck non verbally and or physically). I'm 40, married with 4 kids. Life is HARD. But everyone thinks I'm just crazy/ lazy/ not good enough.
I relate to all of these points... But getting a diagnosis/therapy is next to impossible being my age, having successfully masked for 40 years, being a woman, being conventionally attractive... The list goes on. My quality of life is low, my marriage sucks, parenting is hard and though I have a therapist, there isn't much hope for change.
I’m crying so hard. As I’ve healed trauma responses, my autistic and ADHD symptoms have significantly increased. I thought I was going crazy.
OMG this was me a year ago for sure. Healing some cPTSD allowed me to reconnect with my body differently and yikes! There was a lot of stuff I got sensitive about really quick and so many more meltdowns. I had to relearn everything. Basically I had to isolate to start to learn more about how to manage it all. I have skills now and tools and I am way better off and more present but my life daily is a bit more complicated. So it does get better. I think I feel a lot more acceptance of myself.
Are you really?
Same as far as the autistic traits increasing. ❤
Oh bless you lovely. You are not alone, and people can understand and support you. Take care ❤
Same .
The course section on what happens when autistics have ACE will be so important. You’re right about the impact of losing aspergers-type profile. Could you do a mini-course on what happens when an asperger-type high masking female highly intelligent kid has childhood trauma. It can even be generational-my father had almost daily ragey meltdowns, which were traumatic. My mother’s adhd meant she’d neglect us, leave us places, not feed us, and so on etc. Their careers in special interests were most important. And of course the impact of their daily battles. Absolute unsafe chaos, on top of autistic neurology. And they had their own ACE from some ND parental behaviours. Anyway, it’s complicated but also clear that these would have predictable outcomes. Thanks for this excellent video!
+1 on the topic recommendation.
So little resources in understanding the overlap of ASD/ADHD/CPTSD in what I’ll call high masking females. Add in NPD parents/siblings on top of it.
COVID times and the living/relationship/work situation I put myself in wrecked 30+ years of processing progress and now I’m struggling even more so than the powerless child I once was. Feeling so unmotivated to start over in figuring out how to best carry myself.
You just explained my life except my mother was bipolar and probably un/misdiagnosed autistic
@@Jaimelikegemare you me?
@@HoodBanksy oh wow, this is also me, I'd love to see a professional talking about those overlaps between ASD + ADHD + CPTSD (+ OCD in my case) and NPD parents. Life is just SO hard. Depression has been eating me alive since early childhood and now, in my mid-30s, I have chronic illness. I'm just so, so tired.
@@HoodBanksy tbh the best I've seen on the subject is Gabor Mate's talks and interviews on youtube plus his books "Scattered Minds: The origins and healing of Attention Deficit Disorder", and now "The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture". Totally recommend.
Well, it is official [and you, Dr. Kim, are the person who first alerted me to question, because I would have never guessed and, obviously, no one else would either!]. I found a psychologist who specializes in evaluating for autism, ADHD, and OCD and does telehealth in many states. I am waiting for the written report, but at 65, my autistic traits have finally been acknowledged [that have predominated over ADHD traits, but no one would ever acknowledge these challenges, when I am the one who figured out my ADHD diagnosis in the first place!]. Such a relief. I finally don't feel like I need to be wasting time trying to "prove" myself and can focus on healing and teaching from my own experience, given that is all I have left.
Great video! I recently found out about issues with the Anterior Cingulate Gyrus causing problems with executive function. As this is what is called "brain fog" in CPTSD. The overlaps are interesting due to the same part of the brain being affected.
P.S Your warmth and personality are very soothing. 🙂
It's amazing for me to hear someone in the medical profession say 'I don't know.' Woonderful!❤❤
Fascinating information! I feel like I need to do a venn diagram to sort out the differences/similarities between complex ptsd and autism. So, my trauma happened at an early age and then again as an adult. Therefore, I will have to dig deep to get to the root of my behaviors, actions, and reactions to others and my environment. Once again, thank you so much, Dr. Sage! Did I happen to mention that this subject/topic fascinates me to no end!! Also, thank you for the excellent links you provided. ❤
Neurodivergent insights website has incredible diagrams by Dr Megan Neff!! Highly recommend ❤❤❤
@@DrKimSageTY for this and Dr. Neff info!
Wow! Fantastic website! Thank you Dr. Kim ❣
I have been wondering about these differences and similarities between trauma and autism. Thank you so much for this video. I am 61 and both of my adult children are diagnosed with autism and adhd. And as I learn more, I see it in myself as well. Haven’t been diagnosed yet. I also grew up with an alcoholic father and very active over brothers. Being the youngest and only girl seemed to highlight my sensitivities in a way that caused me a lot of embarrassment and belittling. So I learned to mask for safety. Just learning about stimming and other techniques.
Being a yoga teacher, sound healer and energy worker, I have learned a lot of spiritual techniques that help to calm my nervous system but I can feel the tension in my body more as I become aware of these conditions. Thank you again for this information. It is all so validating.
I have PTSD (probably CPTSD if it were diagnosed in the USA) and autism. While they do overlap a lot I still think that they are different. My mom said when I was born I didn't like being touched and had to get used to it.
But the main reason I think that they are different is because I was on a few adolescent units full of abused kids. I still did not fit in with most of them. They had social skill problems but not like me. They seemed to understand social cues better. They had fewer sensory issues. A couple seemed more autistic. But not all of them.
Moving. Omg. It's horrible. And social situations where I've been misunderstood and punished. I feel seen. Subscribed! I'll be a psychologist soon, I think your channel is going to be good for me.
I cannot thank you enough for this. I've had cPTSD my whole life for various reasons (mostly abusive parents), but I've recently been wondering about autism, too. I've been looking into it more because my partner has evident symptoms of autism and a lot of them resonated with me. Videos like yours are so helpful in my understanding.
You can imagine how it is when no support is available and one has to thread life bearing the cross on their back!
I truly appreciate all you, and all the people like you, make available to us.
It seems to me that you know me more than I know myself. 😊
I grew up in a highly toxic family with a narcistic mother and a codependend father. I experienced emotional and physical abuse in childhood. So I developed mutism and was not able to speak nor to make a phonecall at the age of 20. I found a good therapist who helped me with my communication. I will have a lack of communication issues and other problems my whole life. My question always was : Would I have such problems now if not had suffered from severe traumatic incidences in my childhood ? Probably not. Thank you for this video . I research a lot on this topic. ❤
Would difficulties making phone calls or answering telephones be a possible sign of autism? I've REALLY struggled with this ever since I was really young. Unless it's calling someone I know very well, I have to plan everything I say ahead of time, rehearse it, and then call. Even for making a doctor's appointment. If I make an appointment in person, I do fine. But I SERIOUSLY struggle with phone calls. I honestly hate them, always have, and love the fact that we can use social media to keep in touch. No more of those OBNOXIOUS RINGING PHONES--or having to speak on them.
@@christinakuhn5739 it could be that problems with calling people is a sign of autism. The problem is that cptsd has the same symptoms as autism. For me the question is, if I had been raised by a normal Family would I have the same problems now.I 'll never know.
@@heifie2540 I know. It's hard for me to tell because I think I may have some CPTSD, too. I honestly remember being scared and LEAVING THE ROOM when the telephone rang (remember those old shrill ringing noises from the 1980s?). I had a similar reaction with doorbells. I couldn't stand the unexpected DING DONG of the door. It didn't start from some negative experience with phones/doors, though my parents did, like most good parents of the '80s, talk to me about not answering the door to strangers, and I think I must have somehow internalized it.
Fast forward to last year, when I ordered from Door Dash. I actually became tolerant of ringing doorbells, if only because I started to associate it with yummy food.
But on the whole, I still don't like either sound. I keep my phone perpetually on vibrate mode and rarely have it in my hands. I call everyone back when critically necessary, if I can't handle by text or Facebook PM.
Hard to know for sure. I have taken several autism questionnaires online and have seen consistent results suggesting autism. No formal evaluation or diagnosis at this point.
Wow... everything is suddenly very clear to me. This has lifted a weight off my soul. THANK YOU. 💜
i could hve creid listening to this. ive always felt the affects of the cptsd growing up but after having a child with autism its hightened the emotions and can relate to my child in so many ways.
Your videos are so clear and very relatable in my journey. Thank you...
Thank you for putting your work and experience out there. I’m a CSA Survivor with diagnosed C-PTSD who was also diagnosed with Aspergers av few years ago. Knowing has been life-changing. Though I am a neurolinguistic practitioner specializing in C-PTSD now, I still struggle with knowing quite the lines are. I think it’s a very good idea to realize that it’s not really that important what it is, as long as one sees the effect it has had on their life, re- processes their experience one way out the other (all, lol), and makes personal and life choices changes that support their own true happiness and stability. I have learned and grown much from your videos, as well as Patrick Teahan and Anna Runkel, (The Crappy Childhood Fairy). Thank you. What I do is take it deeply into people with specifically childhood sexual assault related CPTSD, and I have developed a program that is going to print with Bradley group soon! I would love to talk with you, if you have the time. And don’t worry, I hate to talk on the phone, too! Give me a camera, and I’m going to change the world. Thank you for helping. This is a video I made probably a year ago on being autistic, and the fact that autistic children have 70% higher chance of being sexually assaulted than Neurotypical children.💖
ruclips.net/video/-rroFOIcrPE/видео.htmlsi=q22--o_0Vt1r86oj
Reading facial expressions, I have noticed in both ppl with asperger, and trauma survivors, is a great difficulty.
It really is! Also very difficult for ADHDers.
Noticed when taking walks with boyfriend that he watches ppl's faces carefully. He often asks why someone stared at him, while I didn't even look at the person, sometimes I think that same person is smiling. Trauma survivors are often mistaken as paranoid, but I think it's just survival suspicion, when they can't tell whether a passerby is nice or dangerous. Rather notice one predator too many, than miss out on an occasional attacker.
@@anothercat9600I’m a trauma survivor. My psychologist said I have hypervigilance and hyper awareness from brutal abuse trauma. I am always watching people, assessing movements, facial expressions, my surroundings, reading the energy of people as an attempt to protect myself. It’s exhausting.
@@ladyfreeflow So sorry. Must be horrible, tiresome for you, I can imagine.
@@ladyfreeflow
Yup. Same here.
The kitty in the background is a soothing detail to this video! The contents of this video are extremely helpful for me. I will be utilizing this information along with the data about myself and neurodivergences that I've been gathering for the past several years in my requests for formal diagnoses from my physicians. Thank you, Dr. Kim!
So it can be a link there...always suspected thank you Dr❤!
This is great - very clear info! I wish my ex-therapist could see this. I don't think therapists get it at all. She kept pushing me toward, well that's your cptsd (which yes I have) but she discounted my experience as an actually autistic person, and she never got that. Thank you!
also, is that your cat just chilling on your bed in the background? i very much appreciate that whole aspect of this video lol adorable
So happy to have found this account! CPTSD and bipolar 2 with a little bit of ADHD here. (I also used to stutter as a child.) I've been told by others that I might be on the spectrum. I don't think I am - my sensory issues depend on my levels of stress/anxiety. But this was very informative and
also... THERE'S A KITTY!
I related to it all and more. The eggshell narcissistic parents and trauma also caused me to suppress and compartmentalize my emotions. This seeps into my body and manifests as fibromyalgia. Autonomic nervous system dysfunction, mitochondrial dysfunction etc. It's horrible. Every partner was abusive and hypersexual where as I'm demiromantic ace. Sounds, lights, smells trigger migraine and physically my body sends shocks of pain when people yell, I drop something etc. It's hard. I'm exceptionally book smart but socially stupid. I can read emotions in people and animals but not motives in people. I read many autistic adults are treated like babies after telling employers etc. Yet we're more intelligent. My ex's all had adhd only, used me to regulate as none of them wanted to budget, or take accountability for anything. That burden was horrible. I do it on my own to keep my safety, my routine, but executive function is stressful. I'm consistent but big corporations, electric companies, banks, etc are not. Smh.
Thank you for sharing because I almost COMPLETELY echo your experience. Most of my ex's had ADHD, with my recent being the most severe. But the worst part is he's an undiagnosed psychopath and have been having so much anxiety since I broke up with him - fearing for my safety most hours of the day.
Thank you for covering this topic. I have wondering about this in myself, between having a lot of compounding trauma from childhood abuse and neglect, as well as having a sibling who is severely neurodivergent. I know my brain functions abnormally, and I have a terrible time socially. I also know I have sensory issues (usually in the form of my diagnosed ARFID) (among other sx). I also have chronic anxiety/depression, sleep issues, dissociation, memory issues, and lots of upsetting/intrusive thoughts and feelings surrounding the traumatic events I experienced as well as about myself (among other sx). I hope to get evaluated when I am a fully independent adult, to find out for sure. All in all, beautiful video. It makes me feel better to know that I'm not alone in not knowing exactly what is wrong with me.
Most autistic people have cptsd from the experience of living in a neurotically oriented world and basically being gaslighted by everyone since we experience the world so differently so it is hard in a research context to separate autistic and trauma related traits.
Couldn't agree more.... you've got it in a nutshell
Thank you for this video, I just started therapy at 34, never diagnoses with anything, but I have plenty of trauma. And possible adhd. But i wasn't sure if i was confusing cptsd symptoms for autism. After watching this im a hundred percent sure i have autism, lol. I kinda knew that already. I wish the world wasn't such a harsh place for us. All I've ever wanted in life is to give and receive love and acceptance.
Yeah I pretty much went through a lifetime of trauma physically mentally verbally and sexually.
This was all in my childhood.
It wasn't for my faith and christ. I don't think I'd be on the planet.
In some ways, I feel I can relate to almost anything.
I am thankful for the healing I have received in many ways.
Some of it was supernatural , and some of it was through counseling EMDR therapy.
Yes I have had supernatural healing from Jesus
Such an amazing video. Thank you so much. I've been on this journey for a couple of years. I could not work out why my trauma responses were so intense, or why I had such poor emotional intelligence when I explored my childhood experiences. Finding out I was autistic was an 'aha'! Moment. This video joined up all the dots so well.
I really appreciated you talking about high making, something that I have done for years. It is so stressful and anxiety inducing, and I can no longer do it. I'm in autistic burnout, and my sensory sensitivities have gone through the roof😢
Or both?
lol yes that is exactly what I say!❤
Thank you for the video Dr. Kim! I'm over 50 and don't remember much about my childhood so I'll probably never get a formal diagnosis.
I don't remember repetitive behaviors or having sensory issues. I do remember hating cigarette smoke (my dad smoked) from the time I was a toddler.
I also had rigid thinking in that I was rule follower and would get upset (cry) when peers didn't follow them. I just remember crying in school and being bullied for it or whatever weird thing I was doing from Pre-K to 9th grade. By the 9th grade I was able to isolate myself and not interact with my peers anymore. I focused on the academic world including spending 10 years in college.
Took years after college to get a job. It actually required seeking mental health help and I got hired by the organization I was seeking help from and been there ever since.
I've always had a fairly supportive family otherwise I couldn't have spent so much time in college. Mom was accused of "babying" me growing up, but that's because she saw the distress and anxiety I had . It's still there, but I can handle it better now.
I moved at the end of 5th grade, just when my peers were beginning to tolerate/ignore me. Of that would of lasted another year before Jr. high started kids from a different school join the class. Not sure if anyone would have stuck up for me in this hypothetical Jr high.
Ok back on topic TLDR:
rigid thinking from a very young age (toddler?)
School bullies from Pre-K to 9th grade.
(Solved by not interacting with peers as much as possible)
Going to be easy on myself for actions and reactions that have been with me for longer than forever.
I got diagnosed with ADHD, autism, ptsd. Apparently you can have it all.
In many cases they can. It is called comorbidity. My eldest son was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, I had depression, but still suffer with Dyslexia and OCD. With my youngest son, no other diagnoses have been made as yet. They just told us he is autistic and later on they put him on level 3. He is non-verbal, we're doing parent training with him at the moment.
@@maxamiumoverdrive78 I work with children that have level 3 autism and I just want to say that I understand the challenges you are going through. Remember that you are not alone, there are many people that want to be there for you and your son ( school for example or other resources you can file for). Everything will be okay. You got this. ❤️
@@mothergingah1319 We have our ups and downs and sometimes to the point where I want to run away. But, he has had early intervention since baby. We are in South Africa so the resources that are available in the USA and the UK are not available to us here. Doctors here try and avoid diagnosing or treating autism, that also goes for medical aids. Thank you for your kind words, support and encouragement. ❤
@@maxamiumoverdrive78 I am from Sweden and here we put our hearts in every child to really make their life great and also help parents. We do have a lot of resources here for children and parents and I am so sorry that it isn't quite like that in south Africa. 😞 I hope you take the support for what they do offer and I hope your network is loving and supportive. It isn't easy having a child with autism 3 and everything in everyday life everyone struggles with on top of that. I hope everything goes well for you. 🙏
@@mothergingah1319 I actually took it upon myself to further my own education, I got diplomas in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Speech Therapy, Teaching special needs children, Brain Disorders and Sensory Integration Disorders, as well as other health related conditions and child welfare. I try and help others to better understand and be more supportive towards their children, if they're willing to listen. I agree it has been a roller coaster ride and the journey has not been easy. However, I would not change any of my children, they are amazing just the way they are. I would love to keep in contact with. 💗
Thank you for this video, what you say is spot on. I think that society as a whole is reprehensible for how punitive it is towards sensitive people with very real painful feelings. I've spent a lifetime wishing for the luxury of a tough hide that dismissive judgmental people take for granted. My life experience of human society and it's inherent cruelty has been little more than a war of attrition. Thankyou for highlighting the very real struggles people with Autism and trauma face.
Thank you for all the work you do. I think we all experience trauma in one form or another, and I really appreciate your input about autism as it relates to trauma. I’m not sure I have autism, and I can’t say I’ve experienced crazy trauma, but the things you say really do help me understand myself a little better.
This video has really helped, thank you. You're so right, once you see it in your family you can't unsee it 😂 it started with me having an epiphany at ny personal struggles through my life, most of which involved not understanding what social rules everyone else seemed to just know and I had no idea, then I realised my sensory aspects after my best friend empathically commented I didnt do well with conflicting noises and if I'd gotten hot then realising noises, labels in clothes amd smells overwhelm me and that I'd always been this way. Then I suddenly realised my daughter has been counting EVERYTHING since she was little, gets easily overwhelmed, says things like what is your face saying right now... and as for my elderly mother...!!! Then I worried it was PTSD. This video has been incredible helpful. My daughter has a mental health assessment in a month, and her autism assessment has been requested. She is suffering CFS/ME and her medical team, and I are wondering if undiagnosed autism has contributed. Masking is hard work, school is exhausting, counting everything and straightening everything, seeing patterns everywhere, its exhausting.
My answer is both. And also ADHD.
Also extremely common- will post on that too soon❤
Me too
Omg. I found you last night, took the AQ, RAADS-R, and CAT-Q self-assessments and scored high on all of them. I’m 45, and was diagnosed with Dissociative Disorder, PTSD, and ADHD in my thirties. Those diagnoses explained a LOT, but also left a lot out, and I’ve been really feeling like I’m just so different from most people without understanding why. Your videos are making me feel so seen and validated!!! I feel like I can relax and stop trying to figure out and fix myself, because the way I interact with the world has a reason and makes sense to me now. Thank you so so so much for this.
Dear Samantha I left a comment in another video... Since autism is inherited and has so many similarities with trauma... I wonder if autism would be somehow to do with generational trauma, do you have any thoughts on that? Thank you so much for all the insightful information. 🙏💖💕
Great point and question
A particularly clear and complete explanation of this subject.
I recognize myself in both the autism and trauma parts.
I’ve been repeatedly shamed for being a sensory hypo-sensitive in many ways. I realized that it was autism when I saw my kid regress to the point of being nonverbal. I kept telling myself that it couldn’t be autism, because he likes me is a HEAVY sensory seeker. This kid wants to cuddle everybody. He is often so physical that I feel like I’m interacting with a 45 pound pit bull or wrestler. It is not the stereotype you imagine. I wish I had known sooner. It would have helped him and myself much sooner had that knowledge be widespread. Another example of our sensory seeking is desiring the combination of strong flavors. My little boy will say very few words, but one of them is “kombucha” because he wants it so much 😂 I love it! That’s my boy! And yes, autism and ADHD run in my family, yet I still couldn’t see it until my kid was nonverbal 😅
And we both have hypersensitivies as well.
I love that line of your at the end there: "Once you see it you can't unseen it". I personally am seeing a lot more little traits here & there in my mum, dad & brother. ^_^