Hi lovelies - I am so sorry I have been gone and will return hopefully soon. As I have shared- I have had medical issues and now one of my children has been hospitalized - so I have shut out every other thing in my life except that at this point - but we are moving in the right direction, so hope to see you soon! xoxo.
Blimey, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope things are getting better and you've managed to have some family Christmas time too. Hoping for a positive update soon and take care lovely, look after you and the ones you love xxx
I am 60 years old and came to the knowing of being high spectrum autistic just over a year ago and the way I can best refer to this knowing is that I finally have a place to land. I am no longer in search of what is it that makes me "this way"; I now can refer to the information available to help guide me because of the way I now know that I am. Your videos were a part of my journey to getting there. Thank you.
My life has improved a lot since I came to understand high masking autism. Self acceptance after feeling so different from others. I remember in high school the constant movement, leg kicking, foot twirling, that turns out is physical stimming. What is hard to believe is the utter lack of knowledge from ALL the school staff, plus having done some therapy over the years, NO ONE picked up on these clues. Turns out the YT algorithm was more helpful than every single “professional” I ever was around. At least I have some helpful information now. Thanks Dr Sage!
If they did spot them they wouldn't have said anything to you. If you were passing your classes no reason too as nothing more the school can do. They could only have said something to you parents. Never to the child.
Through watching your video's Kim, as well as Mom on the spectrum and Crappy Childhood Fairy, they have all led me to the point I am now, which is finally getting assessed and diagnosed as Autistic at the end of September this year. I was already diagnosed previously with anxiety, depression, CPTSD but could never work out the triggers or the cause of all my struggles until I saw all your video's. Thank you so much for helping me finally understand myself at 51 years of age. I am processing so much now and it is a huge learning curve of ups and downs!!!, but I finally feel at ease with myself. I am so pleased to be neurodivergent, not a broken neurotypical which is how I have felt my whole life. Keep up the awesome work as it is helping so many of us.🧡👍😊🙏
I, too, am 51 and watch all those RUclips channels. I'm going for an autism assessment in December and an ADHD assessment in January. I'm 99% sure I have both. I wish you all the best for the future.
@JWGB1956 wow, that's great you have your assessments soon. Good luck with those and best wishes for the future too. Its been a rollercoaster but these channels and reading books on the subject have really helped me. 👍🧡
Are you a better person not being a broken neurotypical? I am the kid of a neurodivergent parent, not sure if I am typical or divergent myself, but I am a little broken. I forgive myself, as I love and forgive my divergent parent as well. I will say deep dives on neurodivergency have helped with understanding our family's issues. Not sure what my next step - is I am almost 60 my adhd and autistic parent is 80 hopefully the next generation will be better informed and functional.
@Em-df4ww For me finding out I am neurodivergent allowed me to understand myself more and not beat myself up for my struggles. I realise I am different, not a failure as I thought when I was comparing myself to all the others around me who were working with a different brain. Good luck with your journey.
The way I was raised had me suppressing ALL of these points but i always, internally, felt extremely weird and uncomfortable in most situations. In my mid forties now and it's all rising to the surface. Im tired of hiding myself. I need to "be" in this world as me and that's what I'm working on, in all asoects. I LOVE your channel
My mum had these traits : picky and high maintenance (but she thought that it was normal), sensory issues, inflexible, anxiety and avoidant. She had high IQ and masked so well that she was welcome by friends and neighbors as a kind person but she seldom joined group activities other than family and one-off church gatherings. I never noticed she had autistic traits until one of my younger family member was diagnosed as having Asperger syndrome. Since then I had recalled memories of my childhood and observed the behavior patterns of myself and my family members and found that we all had autistic traits to a certain extent. I have struggled with social anxiety and sensory issues since I was a child and have had sleeping disorder since adolescence. Thanks to the sharings and information on the internet posted by people like you, that I know that it is not my fault not be able to socialize as natural as others do and I can accept myself more and learn how to adjust instead of blaming myself so hard.
thanks for posting that because that is me, too! I've had such a hard time being "normal" in social settings my whole life and now I know why I always turned to alcohol to cope. : (
@@groawning1345 Imho it is a relative concept as to whether someone is picky and high maintenance. In my mother's case, picky usually accompanied with rigidity and anxiety. She insisted to follow her rules and standards (and asked us to follow) or refused to compromise even if her standard was found to be difficult to maintain , with or without giving a reason, not only because she wanted to get things done perfectly but in many cases she needed to comfort herself from anxiety.
So what does it say about our society and it's expectations on females that a female autistic who has learned to mask well is, no matter her own inner struggles, treated as a "normal" person who just needs to get a grip sometimes but is otherwise an ordinary woman. Society LIKES masking females because we're quiet, polite, don't complain, don't "make a fuss" we STRIVE to "fit in" It's very sad.
for a long time, women could simply not survive on their own due to the laws in place, which made them hyper dependant on others. therefore, fitting in and being accepted has been the biggest survival mechanism for women, especially ND women.
@@catzkeet4860 Yeah all of what you said makes sense. Hopefully with rising awareness ND can be recognized and celebrated. At the very least maybe people with ND can find supportive communities and possibly work together to educate society and empower one another. IDK. What even is our “society.” Unfortunately I think we are all at the mercy of Capitalism….work, produce, buy, work, produce, buy-or get out of the way. I realize that’s pretty jaded.
Excellent video!! This is exactly what I needed to hear to help explain to people how I went 51 years masking my autism very well. I'm going through menopause & the hormonal change has amplified my autistic traits & increased my anxiety about it. Coming out to people is such a beautiful feeling & has brought my over thinking mind a bit of peace. Thank you ❤✌️
You said 'I literally can't get the words out'. Oh my! This is what I say about myself: 'I lose my words. All my words leave my brain and I have no words to say.' I've often wondered why this. Sure, I'm feeling emotional, confronted, attacked ... and I can't speak. I have no words. They've left me. :-(
I'm heartbroken that due to untreated ADHD with autistic traits, I saw my children's school years as something to "get thru" rather than enjoying and savoring the moments and experiences. They are now 23 and 20. My son is struggling with career choices and my daughter has gone no contact. The shame and guilt are overwhelming. 😢😢😢
this is one of the most important and most neglected topics in mental health discussions. i'm so glad there is ample support for children who experienced trauma. where is support for parents in crisis or families as a whole? and in the aftermath, a parent's regrets are real and painful and need to be grieved.
Dont know if this helps, Dee.. as an ex teacher, lived in various places...with various " families" ...the school system wasn't set up to support you and it takes a whole community to bring children up. I strongly feel we choose our parents for all kindsa reasons... they know you did your best, deep down, we all do at the time... and cherishing moments is what we have now You were there every day feeding and giving shelter I'm sure. Much more besides. ❤ be gentle with yourself she'll understand in time ❤❤❤ ( as a girl who went no contact with her mum, now aged 55) we learnt to accept eachother Some families shift and change but nothing will stop you loving ❤ And Being Loved ❤
The heartbreak and grieving for what could have been is so real 😢 My own story very much like yours. So many day to day memories of my 3 children growing up I can’t even remember, looking back I was existing in constant survival mode. My son doesn’t contact me at all, I have grandkids I’ve never met. 68 years old and going for a formal ADHD assessment in a few days. Take care….❤
I have to take comfort in knowing that 7 year old me would’ve gotten diagnosed with autism if I was in school now. at least it is on the radar. I spent my childhood hating going to school, despite really liking learning. I was teased mercilessly 2-5th grade and have struggled with self esteem issues ever since. I had some of the uncontrolled factors such as advanced maternal age and selective mutism. people underestimate the amount of grief undiagnosed women have about life. Had I known autism was my issue, I would’ve made different choices
The 8 traits mentioned in the content are: 1. Extremely picky and high maintenance. 2. Engaging in stimming behaviors. 3. Sensory issues. 4. Selective mutism. 5. Anxiety. 6. Being rigid in routines. 7. Having a strong sense of injustice. 8. Sensitivity to medications and the environment.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder for 7 years, but I changed psychiatrist and now I finally got tested (the previous diagnosis was without doing tests). Two of the psychologists said that they see clearly I'm on the spectrum, one even said that I should think about ADHD assessment too. I've done the tests that you recommended before and they too showed that I could be autistic. And to be honest your videos gave me many points to bring during assessment, it really helped because I knew what to say and what to expect. Please continue your research and bring it to the world. You're doing amazing work. Thank you so much ❤
I have a similar story.❤ I was diagnosed with unspecified bipolar disorder and was medicated for 10+ years. I am 30. I am planning on getting diagnosed with ADHD and Autism.
@larsenlaura I'm 29, it's so sad that we wasted our 20s being medicated for disorder we don't have. I just hope the wrong meds didn't make any permanent harm to my still developing brain. And I was also overly medicated for GAD, that almost ended badly for me, but fortunately I got over it. If you can, it's really worth to get tested. Just find a place that does standardised testing, because there are some that do some random ones and they're not as valid. And I would try to check if the person has recent education or training/courses, etc in ASD, because education from when we were kids won't help here.
@@whydoIneedthis_ I know, but the doctor and two psychologists said they're pretty certain I was misdiagnosed, even before seeing the test. Just after me describing my symptoms and what I struggle with.
I had a loving nurturing childhood but I feel now that one of my coping mechanism was forming a symbiotic bond with my mother who has a lovely calming, jovial, vivacious personality. Everyone adores my mother & for most of my life I prefered her near me during social situations. Mimicking my mother became my outward appearance to the world.
Omg, I have almost all of these traits, and some of my friends believe I am on the spectrum. I'm 54 years old and still very child-like in many of my habits, always carry a comfort plushie in my backpack, at the same time feel like I'm hundred years old and so tired of people and life, so done with everything. I grew up with an alcoholic mother.
Totally relate to the duality of child like, and ancient. I'm 52, and have child like ways about me too, and yet people tell me I'm wise beyond my years, they told me this when I was younger too.
I don't know if you have ever heard of ACA - adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families? It's a 12 step fellowship that I attend and have found very helpful.
I started following you after my late diagnosis (39) as a high masking female but before your discovery and it has been so touching seeing you go through this process. It mirrors my own awe and relief but also I see so much more lightness and joy in you as your find the key to understanding yourself. I’m proud of you!
Can you imagine if one day science realized that there's nothing wrong with being "different" and they stopped labeling folks as autistic? If they simply realized that it's natural and necessary for human beings to be different from each other, even in behavior?
@@ValDowdingmost allow them to be themselves but still see them in a negative way, which is why this is trying to be normalized. Autistics are called weird and all sorts of things, when « normal » people aren’t, which seems unfair
Kim, your encouragement allowed me to view my life and trauma through an autistic lens and like a kaleidoscope pattern suddenly emerges, so did my true reality. This past year has been the best of my life, setting many of my griefs and devils to rest. Thank you❤
Picky, high maintenance Stimming Sensory issues Selective mutism Anxiety Being rigid in your routine A strong sense of injustice Sensitivity Feeling trapped Incongruities I do all these things to some extent. My therapist says I'm not on the spectrum and that the traits I have around socializing LOOK like autistic traits but they stem from the way I was brought up (sheltered, controlled, indoctrinated into a cult, not allowed as much socialization as my peers, etc.) I also make excessive eye contact (which developed from a fear of not being respectful enough towards people, ie looking away = disrespect).
Hi! Right there with you on being controlled, stifled socially, and excessive eye contact, out of fear back then. Trying hard to connect with eye contact as adult, but not be "creepy"! Looking away seems to be rude, like I'm not paying enough attention, or acting superior by not needing to focus on them. I have learned it is normal to look away for a few seconds, but I still feel anxious when I try it, expecting hostility. But sometimes making eye contact is just scary, and a trigger from the past, when the situation is hostile, or with an authority figure! Hard to find the middle/right way, and comfortable at the time. I wish you the best!!
About free floating anxiety, on top of the challenges of living with sensory issues and chronic stress and trauma, there is also often a link with gut and digestion issues. Through experimentation with supplements, I've found that digestive enzymes (in my case pancreatin) do better than any SSRI for my free floating anxiety (although I do take some SSRI as well). My psychiatrist had no clue why it worked, I suspect she thinks it's merely placebo, but really, if I stop taking them with every meal, anxiety returns within 24-48 hours, and oppositely when I go back on them, it really works like a switch for me. It doesn't do much for my autism traits themselves, but for my sense of calm and wellbeing. Later on, I researched this a bit, and found a couple of papers finding the same effect in autistic children and discussing possible mechanisms for it, which I'll link below. To sum it up as I understood it : research is in the very early stage but we autistic people might be more prone to leaky gut and also genetically lack certain digestive enzymes for proteins. As a result, toxins and undigested or partly digested molecules might pass in the blood and/or arrive intact in parts of the intestine where they should normally not because they should be processed earlier in the digestion process. They cause systemic inflammation and dysbiosis in the gut, and in turn mess with your brain and neurotransmitters (which the gut biome and the availability of some proteins contribute a great deal to). Be warned if you consider trying this for yourself that if you take proton pump inhibitors, digestive enzymes may give you adverse effects like stomach pain. Also I'm NOT A DOCTOR, just someone who experiments on herself, so I might not be aware of other potential interactions or side effects. You should see my experience as anecdotal and remember the research backing it is is still sparse and in its very early stage. www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306987701915130?via%3Dihub www.cpn.or.kr/journal/view.html?doi=10.9758/cpn.2015.13.2.188 pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12608733/
I strongly AGREE with this hypothesis! I take prescription digestive enzymes (Creon), TEN of them a day. They help so much and so much cheaper than OTC at the dose I need. Great observation, thanks for sharing it.
In early childhood I had some pretty stereotypical "boy" interests, like math, science, and video games. But as I look back on my later childhood, adolescence and early adulthood, I can remember the exact points where I was pushed towards more stereotypical "girl" interests and strengths. A lot of this pushing was done by peers, and in adulthood a lot of it was simply because doors were opened to me when I pursued feminine jobs such as caregiving and teaching. I struggled in these jobs at first but kept at them for a long time, and they really helped me develop a lot of empathy. Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been different if I'd resisted peer pressure and stuck to math and science. I'd certainly be richer. 😆
I have all these traits. I was diagnosed as an adult. For me the hardest thing is struggling to find and keep jobs. My bosses are able to see that I'm weird, but I think they can't say what really is wrong with me. I never admit that I'm authistic, because in my country (Poland) knowledge and consciousness about autistic disorder is still very low. I think they would sipmly call me crazy if they knew.
But you haven't tried, so you don't know what it's like in your country. I live in the same one and have never experienced any inappropriate treatment from coworkers or bosses. I think it's because of the job, not the country. I told my manager that I have some social difficulties and special preferences because of ASD and she accepted it. But that was after a year of working there, so she knew I wasn't as weird as some might expect. Maybe I was very lucky, but that still proves something :) I think it's worth normalizing autism.
Thank you for this video! I am self diagnosed autistic and I waited all year to get in for an assessment. It turned out the psychologist was only using the standard stereotypical male model of testing. She attributed everything to my CPTSD and depression. I felt so gaslit and embarrassed. Your video came at the right time ❤️
I went through an autism support organization to try and find a psychologist who would asses me. They gave me a list of psychologist and I called the first female one in my area. Her first question was, why at my age (late 50s) would I want or need a diagnosis. I was completely shocked by this. I assumed being a female that another female would be more understanding and approachable. Fast forward, I found a male psychologist who had more experience assessing adult female autism. Shop around, phone interview before booking an assessment. It’s your life and your health. PS my female family doctor also tried to talk me out of being autistic after I told her I scored 98% on the ASPIE quiz and very high in other screening quizzes. I asked her point blank if she knew what autism was and she said, well I’m not an expert. She has never heard of the ASPIE quiz. I said, I’ve already booked a professional assessment with a psychologist.
This! I waited all year for my assessment. I had a bunch of stuff written out and had taken all the self tests, but he refused to look at it. He said that because I could talk to him he couldn't diagnose me as autistic. Instead, I got C-PTSD with major depression-in remission. I have already been diagnosed with ADHD, but he said he wasn't even sure about that. I am now so dejected and so sick of psych ppl gaslighting me, too.
@AshleyReneeVlog I've recently had the same experience by a Psychologist. After an hour in a half conversation about basic things, she said after my asking for an autism assessment, " Well if you weren't diagnosed before the age of 18, you probably don't have it." Seriously?! As an 80's kids, that wasn't available to me and I struggled to get basic care because of my mom. I can't tell anyone everything I go through when out on the spot. My head was swimming. I ended writing a 10 page paper on symptoms and behaviors. I'm sorry you were treated that way. That's why we have so many undiagnosed, autistic women.
I've been diagnosed by psychological doctors with BPD, ADHD, and I also fit the criteria for Autism... hyper vigilant and and very sensitive to everything! By the time I try to function "normally" I'm very weary and then the anxiety takes over...thank you so much for helping me to understand my life! God bless you for all your help!
I have never been able to relate to the label of diva as I learned early not to ask for anything and to try to solve my problems by myself. This did not apply to my parents who accommodated my environmental and social sensitivities, probably because they had them also. This started when I went to school, which was in the early 1960s. Looking back, I think I basically shut myself into my own lovely little world. I am an only child so I knew how to play by myself and I'm an introvert, so I usually liked to do so. I have paid over the years (in not asking for what I need) in exhaustion, stress, anger and tears.
It was recently pointed out to me that if I had Prosopagnosia ( face blindness), and I do, that it must have been very confusing for me to manage in school when I was a child! Holy S**t it certainly was. I spent most of my school time looking out of the window and trying to avoid any attention. I realise this is an autism video but I know that Prosopagnosia has quite a high link to autism. But my feeling is that this is a revelation that must affect many misunderstood children. It is particularly compounded if the school that has a school uniform. I am 64 years old now, but not being able to recognise other people is a terrible way to live. It breaks my heart for myself and for future children and teachers. I think I have written this quite confusingly but quite simply I am trying to make the point that there may be many people, children and adults feeling very confused and "othered" and none of them being aware of face blindness
I am disgusted with the psychiatric medical community. I was diagnosed with everything else. It started with OCD and ended with Rapid Cycling bipolar which doesn't even exist because that is complex PTSD. I was so obviously autistic but I was never diagnosed properly and instead was blamed for autistic behaviors that I could not help. My mother thought I was having temper tantrums when I was having autistic meltdowns. I am beyond angry at my mother and the medical community and especially psychiatrists for my life. Psychiatry blamed me four things I could not help as I was autistic. But the last 50 years of Psychiatry have been complete bulshit where the psychiatrists blame the children for what the parents caused and for what genetics did. I personally think that psychiatrists should be banned from the medical community and never allowed to practice again because none of them ever got anything right ever. I had to diagnose myself and then prove it. I hate psychiatrists they are the narcissistic idiots of the medical world
My first experience with a psychiatrist has been great. He listens to me and when I mentioned I might be autistic, he gave me a screening test right away. I scored very high and he just said, with a genuine smile, "Yeah, you probably are on the spectrum!" He has been great with my ADHD as well. And he recommends supplements and and suggests ways to change my thinking and behavior alongside prescribed medication, which is really cool, as well as explaining to me how the meds actually work. Plus he knows I'm poor, so he gives me discounted appointments. Not all psychiatrists are bad.
I was in therapy when I was a child in the late 1970s. I wasn't a "bad" kid, I was depressed. In hindsight it is mind blowing, and very sad, how everything was about trying to change my behavior but the depression was never dealt with. Like it's MY FAULT and something I'M doing wrong/bad. What?!?
Hi I excell in learning about the Human body and now pharma free and doing much better had to educate myself to talk to doctors they get upset that I can argue their points and diagnosis is only treating symptoms not finding the cause of a issue thousands of people are treat for a diagnosis that is a lot of times wrong ... Actually harm people than help them . No one knows your own body better than your self and when you are In pain no one cares about your pain more than yourself , learn the medical studies on Dopamine reward and punishment plays a big part in our behaviours ..😊❤
Most are true for me. I'm only self-diagnosed. No one believes me when I say I might be autistic. Maybe it's time for a formal diagnosis... Great video, thank you ❤
This checks every box for me. I recently found out I have add but this also explains a lot of behaviors that I felt I needed to cover up and considered myself weird for having
At age 69 I recognized I am a high-functioning autistic woman. It was during the last year of moms life that thing's got crazy for me. Personal interactions with my siblings we're causing me great distress. I experienced two dissociative episodes that sent me back into therapy. Once again when I tried a deep dive to the trauma, nothing was there. Then one day I had an epiphany or maybe it was Mom who now understood everything sending me a message. I Googled narcissism versus autism and the light of clarity was turned on. Looking back on my discovery I realized mom was a high functioning autistic too. Then I chuckled when I realized why Mom would call me up to ask me why one sibling or the other would behave in the way she would describe. My answer was always I don't know. Now I do know !!
I agree with all of the things you said Kim, but I was having a chuckle to myself when you were talking about anxiety & how you can't wait to go to an event, then when you get there, you can't wait for it to be over. It reminded me ofwhen I'm near the end of a product. I can't wait for it to be finished, so I can open another one. I have no idea what that's about....
I found Mom on the Spectrum a tadbit over a year ago. I was in love with her channel as I watched. Her videos helped me realize that at 62, I likely slipped through the cracks. Eventually, this past January, I was diagnosed with autism and adhd 😊
Not everything but certain things have to be certain way or I go bezerk; curtains and rugs for example, no one can touch or move my curtains. The cutlery in the drawer. Food in the fridge. I have a special bag for different occasions; 1 for going to the cabin, 1 for airplane, 1 for gym, 1 for work, 1 for shopping, 1 for beach, and these can never change.
Listening to you I realized the amount of guilt I always felt for being so "high maintenance", so picky. I've been angry at myself for it. Of course, this ties up perfectly to the fact that I'm female who is also highly atractive and always had a personal style that got me praise, all to say, I fit the "high maintenance" stereotype. But, nope, just austistic, a life consumed by sensory issues. Thank you so much for your work ❤
@@gr00vyt0ni i find people are even more disappointed that my personality isn’t what they expect. I am hyper feminine, I love makeup and all things girly. So when I start talking about my favorite elements and why, NTs don’t like that
@@prettypuff1 same here! I have a cosmetology license that I do not utilize because I was literally physically pushed in to the office to sign up for schooling because I'm "sooooo good at hair nails makeup etc it would be perfect for me!" Let's just ignore the fact that touching strangers, let alone people I love, usually skeeves me tf out. I totally relate.... cats and minerals are my friggin JAM! Wanna talk about how recessive DNA traits could result in a glorious exotic coat? What about the protein structure of whiskers? No? OK, what are your thoughts on Nuummite? It's the world's oldest mineral, or so they say! Do you prefer Cavansite on the Mother Stone, or.........? Yeah it goes completely over people's heads. They either think I'm joking, or like you said, pure disappointment!
Thanks so much for your videos on autism and ctpsd. I finally got diagnosed this week with autism. Still have to wrap my head around this. But everything makes sense now.
I think the high maintanance thing also comes from having a high need to defend ones boundries. And if growing up, people don’t believe you when you tell them things like ‘the lighting hurts my eyes/head’, you perhaps learn, that if you act dramatic about the lighting, people will respond by turning it off or otherwise catering to your need. In essence: if children are not heard, they will either learn to shout or to shut up 💔
I'm self diagnosed, waiting for an appointment with the doctor for a diagnosis. I just flat out told the dentist, cause after my husband passed, I've gotten so bad at masking in high stress situations. It worked out, I didn't try to not cry, not fidget and just let me be what I needed to. For the first time ever, I didn't get sick for a day or three after seeing the dentist. Interesting results.
Yes! Last time I went to the dentist I brought my stress ball to squeeze and I told her by crying I release stress. And like you I had a much smoother aftermath instead of being out of order for a couple of days. 🤍
I didn’t feel like part of the world as a child. I felt I was different in a strange way. I never felt connected to everyone in the world. I have learned connection through my family but still not as much as I like. I am a really good actress
Thank you for the work you are doing and sharing with us all. I can really relate to most of these signs. I have been diagnosed for hEDS and have wondered if I wasn't mildly on the Autism Spectrum. I have identified as an HSP for a long time now. And, I deal with CPTSD and what feels to me like ADHD. I have also been diagnosed with some mild traits of Borderline Pers. Disorder. I find it fascinating all the overlap and interconnection of all these labels. I am 69 years now on a path of rediscovering who I truly am. I'd like to learn more about how to take the mask off and learn to accept and be who I am, beyond all the programming, conditioning and mimicing of others. I am on a Spiritual path which has been helpful...practices of mindfulness and connecting with self and Source. I'd love to hear what you have to say about this. In loving gratitude!
Same here. I have no idea how to be bored - never been bored in my life. I don't get how that even works. Even if I'm in a boring situation I can just sort of go off in my own brain and have an adventure. 🤷♀️ But I'm still paying attention to what's going on in real life. It can be dangerous when I'm driving long distances, though I've never had an accident. I just go in and out of periods where I don't remember having paid attention to the road.
I never feel bored either, although I'm not diagnosed autistic and not sure I even think I am. I'm just curious at this point. I do relate with a lot of the signs given here in this video and a previous one about autism in females, but I wonder if it's the cptsd I'm dealing with rather than autism or ADHD. Still interesting about the lack of boredom though. I wonder if that's an autism thing 🤔
Some of the traits mentioned here are the traits of starseeds such as high sense of injustice. I am not an autistic woman but I do have many traits due to CPTSD
My sister and I were both diagnosed with selective mutism as children. They initially thought we were autistic, but then told our mother that we couldn't possibly be autistic since we had selective mutism. 😕 After a number of conversations, it's likely that all three of us are autistic.
Youre absolutely amazing and totally awesome!!!!!! Haha i wanted to put that straight out the bat, and to add that your videos are life changing. Really. Thank you very much for sharing your knowledge, for putting it up for us all to access here. You're doing amazing Dr. Kim! Thank you and infinite love to you!!!!
OK, I was Ok until you pulled out the hyper empathy at the end! 😮 Before I was on the fence about my possibly having autism. But my hyper empathy was the thing that was making me feel like I didn't have it! Now I'm booking an appointment with our psychologist!!!
I was told recently that I am likely high functioning autistic and HSP and was being raised by a narcissistic, possibly psychopathic parent. I haven't found any research to help me better understand specifically how that would likely have affected me or how best to help myself. My therapist is doing IFS and EDMR with me. But I have some real struggles that those don't seem to help with. Like knowing how to interact normally with others and what is normal and healthy behavior.
Yes I got alot to learn Just Diagnosed ADHD in July and Autism in October I am 39. Thank you I was tested by Doctors who are doing research on females. Wilderwood in New Mexico they had their own test I loved plus regular ones.
Thanks so much for sharing that we can have hyper empathie. I brought up 3 times that I think Iam autistic and because Iam very empathic it got declined twice. I remember my neurologist said: you fit 100% with all of your behaviour but you can read people and have compassion that's why it cant be. Luckily the third person did believe me and I am waiting for an assesment now. This believe that you are not autistic if you have empathie really made me struggle believing myself.
Hi hi I'm on spectrum and I'm a rocker. .😁 I thought I'd start off this by being light-hearted because At first I was going to pass up this video when it showed up on my feed then something in my spirit said listen . So here i am . I can definitely relate to being called super picky . As I was raised my great-grandparent. I was also called very spoiled what would I come to find out it's not that I was spoiled it's just because my grandmother knew that I was her "special baby" I definitely Rock from side to side but only when I witness trauma or would I perceive to be traumatic. I'm extremely sensitive and empathic, I will cry when I see a homeless person, I will tear up when I see somebody bullying someone else, and i can be dangerously impulsive, when I sent someone else in danger. I'm 47 years old now and learned how to manage my ", spectrum -ness and i just discovered that my oldest son who was recently diagnosed on the spectrum of autism . However, I don't know how it was recognized in him but it was misdiagnosed in me . Just in the last year I was diagnosed with bipolar 2. But im beginning to believe that , because im articulate and high functioning , psychiatrist will misdiagnosed all the time. I went into one session and was diagnosed but im working on getting a second opinion, n fact I have a learning disability with numbers as well and been getting migraines sense the age 11 i also get the aura which makes me sensitive to light i wear dark shades often and most nen call me picky and high maintenance. But i often say I don't even own a pair of heels I'm more of a flip-flop girl lol And in college i was diagnosed with discscuila ( hope I spelled that right but basically it's when you have a slow registration of numbers or hard time retaining numbers in the brain) . I also talk ALOT. And i rock more as a trauma response, and contrary to popular belief i actually like being around people, but I don't like being touched. but im very affectionate. I am a hugger. But don't like it when others try to give me one . I also..low key ..like dolls and stuff animals. I feel safe around them .. and i low key think and believe you objects and or dolls have "feelings" too . I am a content creator, and yet i have yet to "come out the closet" with sharing my life story ... As i have dealt with men who have exploited me. I have been called naive and gullable in many situations. Some time's i look back over my life and now i can see why my great grandmother sheltered me so much .. I know often have called myself lil red riding hood .. because i have lived most of my life in a bubble not foreseeing that there would be wolves in the woods. But sometimes i am afraid because im intelligent in all other areas of my life but i struggle with knowing people's true intent. I literally don't know why people are mean , and hateful to others. Im just now figuring out things thst even a 20 year old knows i often tell my 26 yrar old daughter that she's so much more smarter than me . She is the one who really helps me to not be so trusting in others. ❤ Thank you. New subbie sorry for the typos I don't have my shades on .. Oh and im super indecisive.. even with things i have already made a choice on . If that makes sense. ❤😂
PLEASE DO A VIDEO ABOUT AUTISM IN WOMEN AND PMDD. PLEASE THERE IS NO AWARENESS FOR US. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder happens when the brain is extremely sensitive to the NORMAL hormonal fluctuations in menstruating women and symptoms range from intense rage, depression, anxiety, panic, serious unaliving thoughts and constant intrusive thoughts. It makes autistic traits unbearable. Pmdd has an unalive rate of 30%, much higher than major depression, bpd, schizophrenia, everything. There is a statistic floating around that 80% of women with Pmdd is autistic (!). I only know I'm autistic now at 35 because I started having severe Pmdd after having a baby and saw that statistic and started deep diving into how autism presents differently in women. Every doctor and psychologist I've ever spoken to has never even heard about Pmdd or treated it, its gut wrenching always being the first and only one. I have all these traits you mention in spades, PLUS debilitating PMDD, which was only even added to the DSM in 2013 (!). There is so little understood about PMDD and it gets worse with age and peri-menopause, only subsiding in menopause. It lasts decades and is really dangerous coupled with everything autistic. The "gold standard" treatment of ssri's, snri's, mood stabilizers AND birth controls have all failed me and a large part of that is my autistic traits. Hyper sensitivity, anxiety (genetically slow processing COMT AA brain pathway, slow estrogen metabolizer - meaning more hormonal load and symptoms), remuneration, physical intolerance to all the medications I've tried, everything has failed me. I'm left with holistic measures for a serious mood disorder that is very, very far from the "severe pms" it gets grouped under by doctors. When I was younger, Pmdd was present, but to a much lesser degree than before having a baby. It's debilitating now. It's escalated from only having it the few days before periods occasionally, to monthly from ovulation (any hormone fluctuations set it off for me and for so many others in my age group), straight through to end of bleed when hormones finally stop fluctuating. Then within a week, it all starts up again. I isolate a lot, I struggle a lot with nobody having any awareness of PMDD. A good resource is the pmdd subreddit for deep dives.
This video is very interesting and revealing. Since I was little I was very picky about food, I threw up every time I got into a car or a bus, I also didn't like noisy or very active people or places with a lot of people, much less speaking in public and things of that sort. I was a quiet girl with few friends, sometimes thought of as too subtle. In first grade, my teacher told my mother that she thought it was strange how quiet and calm I was, but my mother never paid even the slightest attention. These problems continued into adulthood, where it caused me the most problems was at university and at work, unfortunately due to external pressures I chose a career not suitable for my personality, which today I think is a spectrum issue. + high anxiety, inflexibility, high maintenance and extremely avoidant 😓😖
is it common for late diagnosed women to have spent their whole life with serious sensory issues and not have realized it? Because I think I forced myself into burnout so much easier because I didn't realize that I was overstimulated at all times just because of the environment.
Thank you for continuing to produce these excellent videos when you must be obviously stress over your physical health at the moment. At least if the cheek is itchy, that is a sign that it is healing well. I want to be able to go to a Concert for Dimash. All my attempts at attending ballet, musicals or shows have failed miserably. Do you know of a drug that can safely shut down our sensory issues for a day or 2???😢
I found diazepam, or (Warning! Warning!) (ha ha ha! I’ve forgotten its other name!!) V***** is wonderful stuff for taking the abrasive edge off everything that’s external but is causing a high internal stress level. My friendly local GP had prescribed me a few when I went to him for help handling my Dad’s death; I had some left over and took them when I was in a situation that would have been an incredible struggle for me without them (but I would still have done it, because Masking…). Not only did the situation go well, but I enjoyed it, which meant the people around me could enjoy it too. Marvellous stuff, I’m really sad it’s got such a bad name these days. Valium!! That’s the stuff! Glad I remembered!
4:40 Hah!! I'm doing that now. Its so soothing to me and makes me feel like it helps me think. I often wonder if it mimics the feeling of being in my mother's womb...
TICK TICK TICK to ALL. Im definitely a rocker and a twirler! Also I get very picky especially with furniture and clothes - an ugly pair of shoes may offends and upsets me😂❤❤❤❤❤ Struggling with mutism and ridity and EmF sensitivity all recent. Have been masking VERY WELL for almost all of my 32 yrs You are so brilliant Kim thank you so so much for your videos
I love this, but do you mind redoing your set esp on the autism videos? the background is very bright and competing your blonde (but BEAUTIFUL) hair. Something darker, more contrasting like a deep purple would make a huge difference and be less strain on the eyes. Also, it would be helpful if when doing lists, to put the list next to your head on the screen. It makes it easier to connect all the thoughts having that visual outline.
thank you for this video. i think it may have saved my marriage. i’m writing this comment in hopes that every time someone likes it, it will remind me of the daily struggles she has to go through. i was ignorant to say the least
I'm always confused about what masking is. Doesn't everyone "mask" - like they need to control their emotions and act in certain ways to be acceptable? I thought everyone did that? I often get moments at work where I find my emotions overwhelming me or I get anxious or sounds might be really irritating me, but I hide my distress on the outside and try to act normal so no one notices. Is that masking?
That’s a really good question, and one I’ve been thinking about a lot. I think everyone masks to an extent, but the difference is many autistics will mask almost constantly, while neurotypical people mask once in a while as a choice about how they want to present themselves. Another way I think of it ND people are always screening what they are feeling or saying; they are pre-thinking, like almost watching themselves through another’s eyes whenever there is a possibility of being perceived.
I would love to access your videos more deeply. Would you consider time stamping?? I don't always have time to watch front to back, even though I want to :((❤
I am not sure if people think I am high maintanence but I can relate to the rigid need of things being a certain way. My said I want to have thing my way all the time though. This led me to stop voicing these needs.
I was always told I am too sensitive and dramatic. I also get told a lot to smile because I look mad. I dont know if I am autistic and jjst im the researching phase. I was diagnosed with ADD as a 4th grader and depression all growing up. Now as a mom of four, I am experiencing anxiety, but that could be caused from family bond with my parents and siblings being totally distanced. It has been very hard to go through.
Can you please make a video of how high masking female autism, relates/ overlaps with having a fearful avoidant attachment style. Similarities, differences and ways to heal with an autism context.
@@DrKimSage would you say there's possibly a connection between migraines and autism. I took note a long time ago that there's a connection between sensory overload and migraines.
Hi. Thank you. I watch a lot of videos and have known I have autism for several years. But struggle to find a practitioner who is familiar with autism or even female autism who accepts my insurance (in Alaska). It's difficult enough to conjure the courage to talk with someone about the struggles you've accumulated in your life that you've kept hidden on purpose. It feels so personal to share the experiences that define you. What does one do?
Sometimes, I do very well socially, and sometimes, I have bad social anxiety. I hate the bright lights on stores and get stressed with top much noise and talking..
So much so that I've started to wonder if we're on the right track at all separating these 2 things. Maybe they are actually the same - neurotype B or whatever - and different people present different "symptoms" because of different experiences... hence the high prevalence of autism + adhd together. I've started to kinda think of the classifications as more and more useless. Like, either there's wayyyy more neurotypes than we think (adhd, add, audhd, internalising autism, externalising autism, dyslexia, dyscalculia, synesthesia, typical, etc etc etc) or there's way less, like type A (typical) and type B (divergent including all of the above, coming from a common source like a different brain structure e.g. less pruning of neurons, more "detours in neural pathways", or something like monotropism). Or maybe it depends on the way you look at it. Maybe both are true. In the way you could look at eye colours and describe them as "light" (selective albino traits) and "dark" (full spectrum) - or as brown, light brown, hazel, light blue, dark blue, light green, blue green, grey, grey green etc etc. I supppose, going with this analogy, it's kinda the difference between "why is this and what does it feel like" vs "what does it look like on the outside" and maybe that's actually oddly fitting for the neurotypes as well. But anyway, the way the dsm is structured at the moment does not correctly depict reality and that's really frustrating
Hello to everyone reading this. Right now, I'm inconsolable. My ex-partner left a few weeks ago, and I am heartbroken and saddened since this relationship is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Although I tried, I was unable to win him back. I don't know what to do, but I shouldn't be posting this here.
Since my 12-year relationship ended, I know how hard it is to say goodbye to someone you love. But I couldn't just let him go, so I did everything I could to win him back. I finally went to a spiritual counsellor for guidance, and he helped me win back his love.
hi there, i recognise a lot from what you are saying. Thanks for talking about it. I was pondering on what you said of alienating or feeling socially excluded. I often socially exclude myself because i feel strange in front of others and socialy awkward. So basically since my teenage years i started to make it my identity to be strange and different. Does anyone recognise this? (BTW i'm from the Netherlands so my english might not be so good) love to hear from you
1. Picky and high maintenance. Everything has to be a certain way. 2. Stimming 3. Sensory issues 4. Selective mutism 5. Anxiety 6. Rigid in routines 7. Strong sense of injustice 8. Sensitivity to medication and environment, due to combo of childhood trauma and autism. Things include loss of autonomy and opportunity; social exclusion is part of this.
My husband tells me jokingly I have so many "rules" 😅, I always loved the silk edge of the blanket, couldn't sleep without touching it, love soft plush things, different textures, can't stand clothing tags... Pretty sure I'm far along the spectrum and it's ok but wish I'd known sooner.
Hi lovelies - I am so sorry I have been gone and will return hopefully soon. As I have shared- I have had medical issues and now one of my children has been hospitalized - so I have shut out every other thing in my life except that at this point - but we are moving in the right direction, so hope to see you soon! xoxo.
All the good wishes and compassion the internet can carry sent in your and your family's direction
@@DrKimSage thats unfortunate to hear! I wish you all the best!
❤
So sorry to hear about this. Hope your child is soon well and out of hospital and that all your issues are very soon resolved too.
Blimey, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope things are getting better and you've managed to have some family Christmas time too. Hoping for a positive update soon and take care lovely, look after you and the ones you love xxx
I am 60 years old and came to the knowing of being high spectrum autistic just over a year ago and the way I can best refer to this knowing is that I finally have a place to land. I am no longer in search of what is it that makes me "this way"; I now can refer to the information available to help guide me because of the way I now know that I am. Your videos were a part of my journey to getting there. Thank you.
I'm 66... Same thing here
YES!!!
Hi, @reneecj209 ! I am similar age. I am currently going through the UK NHS Autism Assessment which is a 4 year wait. Mine might come up in 2025.
@@missea6547 me too
Me too! I have spent the vast majority of my 40 years on this earth trying to figure out what is wrong with me. Now I know.
My life has improved a lot since I came to understand high masking autism. Self acceptance after feeling so different from others. I remember in high school the constant movement, leg kicking, foot twirling, that turns out is physical stimming. What is hard to believe is the utter lack of knowledge from ALL the school staff, plus having done some therapy over the years, NO ONE picked up on these clues. Turns out the YT algorithm was more helpful than every single “professional” I ever was around. At least I have some helpful information now. Thanks Dr Sage!
I'm sorry you went thro that we did not recognize people on spectrum then I'm ADHD more but not sure 64 now
If they did spot them they wouldn't have said anything to you. If you were passing your classes no reason too as nothing more the school can do. They could only have said something to you parents. Never to the child.
Through watching your video's Kim, as well as Mom on the spectrum and Crappy Childhood Fairy, they have all led me to the point I am now, which is finally getting assessed and diagnosed as Autistic at the end of September this year. I was already diagnosed previously with anxiety, depression, CPTSD but could never work out the triggers or the cause of all my struggles until I saw all your video's. Thank you so much for helping me finally understand myself at 51 years of age. I am processing so much now and it is a huge learning curve of ups and downs!!!, but I finally feel at ease with myself. I am so pleased to be neurodivergent, not a broken neurotypical which is how I have felt my whole life. Keep up the awesome work as it is helping so many of us.🧡👍😊🙏
I am going to get an assessment because I know I am. It will explain SO MANY THINGS! ❤ I am 56. Thank you for sharing.
I, too, am 51 and watch all those RUclips channels. I'm going for an autism assessment in December and an ADHD assessment in January. I'm 99% sure I have both. I wish you all the best for the future.
@JWGB1956 wow, that's great you have your assessments soon. Good luck with those and best wishes for the future too. Its been a rollercoaster but these channels and reading books on the subject have really helped me. 👍🧡
Are you a better person not being a broken neurotypical? I am the kid of a neurodivergent parent, not sure if I am typical or divergent myself, but I am a little broken. I forgive myself, as I love and forgive my divergent parent as well. I will say deep dives on neurodivergency have helped with understanding our family's issues. Not sure what my next step - is I am almost 60 my adhd and autistic parent is 80 hopefully the next generation will be better informed and functional.
@Em-df4ww For me finding out I am neurodivergent allowed me to understand myself more and not beat myself up for my struggles. I realise I am different, not a failure as I thought when I was comparing myself to all the others around me who were working with a different brain. Good luck with your journey.
The way I was raised had me suppressing ALL of these points but i always, internally, felt extremely weird and uncomfortable in most situations. In my mid forties now and it's all rising to the surface. Im tired of hiding myself. I need to "be" in this world as me and that's what I'm working on, in all asoects. I LOVE your channel
My mum had these traits : picky and high maintenance (but she thought that it was normal), sensory issues, inflexible, anxiety and avoidant. She had high IQ and masked so well that she was welcome by friends and neighbors as a kind person but she seldom joined group activities other than family and one-off church gatherings. I never noticed she had autistic traits until one of my younger family member was diagnosed as having Asperger syndrome. Since then I had recalled memories of my childhood and observed the behavior patterns of myself and my family members and found that we all had autistic traits to a certain extent. I have struggled with social anxiety and sensory issues since I was a child and have had sleeping disorder since adolescence. Thanks to the sharings and information on the internet posted by people like you, that I know that it is not my fault not be able to socialize as natural as others do and I can accept myself more and learn how to adjust instead of blaming myself so hard.
thanks for posting that because that is me, too! I've had such a hard time being "normal" in social settings my whole life and now I know why I always turned to alcohol to cope. : (
What do you think causes the picky and high maintenance, I'm trying to evaluate myself
@@groawning1345 Imho it is a relative concept as to whether someone is picky and high maintenance. In my mother's case, picky usually accompanied with rigidity and anxiety. She insisted to follow her rules and standards (and asked us to follow) or refused to compromise even if her standard was found to be difficult to maintain , with or without giving a reason, not only because she wanted to get things done perfectly but in many cases she needed to comfort herself from anxiety.
Wow, you just described my mother as well
@@brumbybailey6599 If so I think I can feel you😊
So what does it say about our society and it's expectations on females that a female autistic who has learned to mask well is, no matter her own inner struggles, treated as a "normal" person who just needs to get a grip sometimes but is otherwise an ordinary woman. Society LIKES masking females because we're quiet, polite, don't complain, don't "make a fuss" we STRIVE to "fit in"
It's very sad.
That's spot on. We don't cause trouble because it means we'll be banished from the tribe, which is dangerous.
And it's killing us.
for a long time, women could simply not survive on their own due to the laws in place, which made them hyper dependant on others. therefore, fitting in and being accepted has been the biggest survival mechanism for women, especially ND women.
@@catzkeet4860 Yeah all of what you said makes sense. Hopefully with rising awareness ND can be recognized and celebrated. At the very least maybe people with ND can find supportive communities and possibly work together to educate society and empower one another. IDK.
What even is our “society.” Unfortunately I think we are all at the mercy of Capitalism….work, produce, buy, work, produce, buy-or get out of the way. I realize that’s pretty jaded.
Excellent video!! This is exactly what I needed to hear to help explain to people how I went 51 years masking my autism very well. I'm going through menopause & the hormonal change has amplified my autistic traits & increased my anxiety about it. Coming out to people is such a beautiful feeling & has brought my over thinking mind a bit of peace.
Thank you ❤✌️
I went into menopause at age 50 because of chemo but now at age 60 I notice my autism has become increasingly worse and I never connected those dots.🧐
I think this is me also, thanks for your comment ❤
Diagnosed autistic in my early 50's I relate to so much of your content. Thank you for sharing and speaking out.
You said 'I literally can't get the words out'. Oh my! This is what I say about myself: 'I lose my words. All my words leave my brain and I have no words to say.' I've often wondered why this. Sure, I'm feeling emotional, confronted, attacked ... and I can't speak. I have no words. They've left me. :-(
Holy moly, great balls of fire. Never felt more explained, in my life. Thank you 💓
I'm heartbroken that due to untreated ADHD with autistic traits, I saw my children's school years as something to "get thru" rather than enjoying and savoring the moments and experiences. They are now 23 and 20. My son is struggling with career choices and my daughter has gone no contact. The shame and guilt are overwhelming. 😢😢😢
this is one of the most important and most neglected topics in mental health discussions. i'm so glad there is ample support for children who experienced trauma. where is support for parents in crisis or families as a whole? and in the aftermath, a parent's regrets are real and painful and need to be grieved.
Dont know if this helps, Dee.. as an ex teacher, lived in various places...with various " families" ...the school system wasn't set up to support you and it takes a whole community to bring children up. I strongly feel we choose our parents for all kindsa reasons... they know you did your best, deep down, we all do at the time... and cherishing moments is what we have now
You were there every day feeding and giving shelter I'm sure. Much more besides. ❤ be gentle with yourself she'll understand in time ❤❤❤ ( as a girl who went no contact with her mum, now aged 55) we learnt to accept eachother
Some families shift and change but nothing will stop you loving ❤
And Being Loved ❤
@ Thank you so much. she did send me a Happy Birthday text so I have hope for a reconciliation 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
The heartbreak and grieving for what could have been is so real 😢 My own story very much like yours. So many day to day memories of my 3 children growing up I can’t even remember, looking back I was existing in constant survival mode. My son doesn’t contact me at all, I have grandkids I’ve never met. 68 years old and going for a formal ADHD assessment in a few days. Take care….❤
@ You too. thanks for sharing 🙏🏻 and good luck to you. God Bless 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I have to take comfort in knowing that 7 year old me would’ve gotten diagnosed with autism if I was in school now. at least it is on the radar.
I spent my childhood hating going to school, despite really liking learning. I was teased mercilessly 2-5th grade and have struggled with self esteem issues ever since. I had some of the uncontrolled factors such as advanced maternal age and selective mutism.
people underestimate the amount of grief undiagnosed women have about life. Had I known autism was my issue, I would’ve made different choices
🙏🏼What does "advanced maternal age" mean? Like early puberty? Early menopause?
You just spoke my life!!
The 8 traits mentioned in the content are:
1. Extremely picky and high maintenance.
2. Engaging in stimming behaviors.
3. Sensory issues.
4. Selective mutism.
5. Anxiety.
6. Being rigid in routines.
7. Having a strong sense of injustice.
8. Sensitivity to medications and the environment.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder for 7 years, but I changed psychiatrist and now I finally got tested (the previous diagnosis was without doing tests). Two of the psychologists said that they see clearly I'm on the spectrum, one even said that I should think about ADHD assessment too. I've done the tests that you recommended before and they too showed that I could be autistic. And to be honest your videos gave me many points to bring during assessment, it really helped because I knew what to say and what to expect. Please continue your research and bring it to the world. You're doing amazing work. Thank you so much ❤
I have a similar story.❤ I was diagnosed with unspecified bipolar disorder and was medicated for 10+ years. I am 30. I am planning on getting diagnosed with ADHD and Autism.
@larsenlaura I'm 29, it's so sad that we wasted our 20s being medicated for disorder we don't have. I just hope the wrong meds didn't make any permanent harm to my still developing brain. And I was also overly medicated for GAD, that almost ended badly for me, but fortunately I got over it.
If you can, it's really worth to get tested. Just find a place that does standardised testing, because there are some that do some random ones and they're not as valid. And I would try to check if the person has recent education or training/courses, etc in ASD, because education from when we were kids won't help here.
@@Noel.Chmielowiec Thank you
You can have autism, bipolar disorder and ADHD at the same time, it's not just one or the other.
@@whydoIneedthis_ I know, but the doctor and two psychologists said they're pretty certain I was misdiagnosed, even before seeing the test. Just after me describing my symptoms and what I struggle with.
I had a loving nurturing childhood but I feel now that one of my coping mechanism was forming a symbiotic bond with my mother who has a lovely calming, jovial, vivacious personality. Everyone adores my mother & for most of my life I prefered her near me during social situations. Mimicking my mother became my outward appearance to the world.
Good self awareness there
Omg, I have almost all of these traits, and some of my friends believe I am on the spectrum. I'm 54 years old and still very child-like in many of my habits, always carry a comfort plushie in my backpack, at the same time feel like I'm hundred years old and so tired of people and life, so done with everything. I grew up with an alcoholic mother.
Totally relate to the duality of child like, and ancient. I'm 52, and have child like ways about me too, and yet people tell me I'm wise beyond my years, they told me this when I was younger too.
I don't know if you have ever heard of ACA - adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families? It's a 12 step fellowship that I attend and have found very helpful.
❤
I started following you after my late diagnosis (39) as a high masking female but before your discovery and it has been so touching seeing you go through this process. It mirrors my own awe and relief but also I see so much more lightness and joy in you as your find the key to understanding yourself. I’m proud of you!
Can you imagine if one day science realized that there's nothing wrong with being "different" and they stopped labeling folks as autistic? If they simply realized that it's natural and necessary for human beings to be different from each other, even in behavior?
Most people already do allow others to just be themselves.Its only those who like a bit of attention that want us to notice their "difference"
@@ValDowdingmost allow them to be themselves but still see them in a negative way, which is why this is trying to be normalized. Autistics are called weird and all sorts of things, when « normal » people aren’t, which seems unfair
Kim, your encouragement allowed me to view my life and trauma through an autistic lens and like a kaleidoscope pattern suddenly emerges, so did my true reality. This past year has been the best of my life, setting many of my griefs and devils to rest. Thank you❤
I love that this has been the best year of your life. I am hoping for the same as I seek out a AST literate therapist.
Picky, high maintenance
Stimming
Sensory issues
Selective mutism
Anxiety
Being rigid in your routine
A strong sense of injustice
Sensitivity
Feeling trapped
Incongruities
I do all these things to some extent.
My therapist says I'm not on the spectrum and that the traits I have around socializing LOOK like autistic traits but they stem from the way I was brought up (sheltered, controlled, indoctrinated into a cult, not allowed as much socialization as my peers, etc.)
I also make excessive eye contact (which developed from a fear of not being respectful enough towards people, ie looking away = disrespect).
Hi! Right there with you on being controlled, stifled socially, and excessive eye contact, out of fear back then. Trying hard to connect with eye contact as adult, but not be "creepy"! Looking away seems to be rude, like I'm not paying enough attention, or acting superior by not needing to focus on them. I have learned it is normal to look away for a few seconds, but I still feel anxious when I try it, expecting hostility. But sometimes making eye contact is just scary, and a trigger from the past, when the situation is hostile, or with an authority figure! Hard to find the middle/right way, and comfortable at the time. I wish you the best!!
Thank you for the list.
About free floating anxiety, on top of the challenges of living with sensory issues and chronic stress and trauma, there is also often a link with gut and digestion issues. Through experimentation with supplements, I've found that digestive enzymes (in my case pancreatin) do better than any SSRI for my free floating anxiety (although I do take some SSRI as well). My psychiatrist had no clue why it worked, I suspect she thinks it's merely placebo, but really, if I stop taking them with every meal, anxiety returns within 24-48 hours, and oppositely when I go back on them, it really works like a switch for me. It doesn't do much for my autism traits themselves, but for my sense of calm and wellbeing. Later on, I researched this a bit, and found a couple of papers finding the same effect in autistic children and discussing possible mechanisms for it, which I'll link below.
To sum it up as I understood it : research is in the very early stage but we autistic people might be more prone to leaky gut and also genetically lack certain digestive enzymes for proteins. As a result, toxins and undigested or partly digested molecules might pass in the blood and/or arrive intact in parts of the intestine where they should normally not because they should be processed earlier in the digestion process. They cause systemic inflammation and dysbiosis in the gut, and in turn mess with your brain and neurotransmitters (which the gut biome and the availability of some proteins contribute a great deal to).
Be warned if you consider trying this for yourself that if you take proton pump inhibitors, digestive enzymes may give you adverse effects like stomach pain. Also I'm NOT A DOCTOR, just someone who experiments on herself, so I might not be aware of other potential interactions or side effects. You should see my experience as anecdotal and remember the research backing it is is still sparse and in its very early stage.
www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306987701915130?via%3Dihub
www.cpn.or.kr/journal/view.html?doi=10.9758/cpn.2015.13.2.188
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12608733/
How are you able to post links in RUclips comments?
@@rocky1raquel I... don't know. In retrospect I'm surprised my message is still there now that you mention it, but hey, I'm glad if it helps anyone.
@lasphynge8001 Thank you!!!!!❤
I strongly AGREE with this hypothesis! I take prescription digestive enzymes (Creon), TEN of them a day. They help so much and so much cheaper than OTC at the dose I need. Great observation, thanks for sharing it.
I read that 90% of serotonin is produced in the gut. I don’t remember where I read this. Thanks for sharing your comment!
In early childhood I had some pretty stereotypical "boy" interests, like math, science, and video games. But as I look back on my later childhood, adolescence and early adulthood, I can remember the exact points where I was pushed towards more stereotypical "girl" interests and strengths. A lot of this pushing was done by peers, and in adulthood a lot of it was simply because doors were opened to me when I pursued feminine jobs such as caregiving and teaching. I struggled in these jobs at first but kept at them for a long time, and they really helped me develop a lot of empathy. Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been different if I'd resisted peer pressure and stuck to math and science. I'd certainly be richer. 😆
I have all these traits. I was diagnosed as an adult. For me the hardest thing is struggling to find and keep jobs. My bosses are able to see that I'm weird, but I think they can't say what really is wrong with me. I never admit that I'm authistic, because in my country (Poland) knowledge and consciousness about autistic disorder is still very low. I think they would sipmly call me crazy if they knew.
But you haven't tried, so you don't know what it's like in your country. I live in the same one and have never experienced any inappropriate treatment from coworkers or bosses. I think it's because of the job, not the country. I told my manager that I have some social difficulties and special preferences because of ASD and she accepted it. But that was after a year of working there, so she knew I wasn't as weird as some might expect. Maybe I was very lucky, but that still proves something :) I think it's worth normalizing autism.
Thank you for this video! I am self diagnosed autistic and I waited all year to get in for an assessment. It turned out the psychologist was only using the standard stereotypical male model of testing. She attributed everything to my CPTSD and depression. I felt so gaslit and embarrassed. Your video came at the right time ❤️
This is part of why I'm not going to get assessed but also the prejudice that will inevitably happen.
Same. I'll be 69 next week. Only shared with a few people. Get more validation and support here. Thank you ❣️
I went through an autism support organization to try and find a psychologist who would asses me. They gave me a list of psychologist and I called the first female one in my area. Her first question was, why at my age (late 50s) would I want or need a diagnosis. I was completely shocked by this. I assumed being a female that another female would be more understanding and approachable. Fast forward, I found a male psychologist who had more experience assessing adult female autism. Shop around, phone interview before booking an assessment. It’s your life and your health. PS my female family doctor also tried to talk me out of being autistic after I told her I scored 98% on the ASPIE quiz and very high in other screening quizzes. I asked her point blank if she knew what autism was and she said, well I’m not an expert. She has never heard of the ASPIE quiz. I said, I’ve already booked a professional assessment with a psychologist.
This! I waited all year for my assessment. I had a bunch of stuff written out and had taken all the self tests, but he refused to look at it. He said that because I could talk to him he couldn't diagnose me as autistic. Instead, I got C-PTSD with major depression-in remission. I have already been diagnosed with ADHD, but he said he wasn't even sure about that. I am now so dejected and so sick of psych ppl gaslighting me, too.
@AshleyReneeVlog
I've recently had the same experience by a Psychologist. After an hour in a half conversation about basic things, she said after my asking for an autism assessment, " Well if you weren't diagnosed before the age of 18, you probably don't have it." Seriously?! As an 80's kids, that wasn't available to me and I struggled to get basic care because of my mom. I can't tell anyone everything I go through when out on the spot. My head was swimming. I ended writing a 10 page paper on symptoms and behaviors. I'm sorry you were treated that way. That's why we have so many undiagnosed, autistic women.
Thank you. You have empowered me to accept who I am and even like myself. ❤
It has been a wonderful ourney of self discovery; our journeys are almost parallel and your work has been so integral in mine ...Thank you Dr Kim 🥰
I've been diagnosed by psychological doctors with BPD, ADHD, and I also fit the criteria for Autism... hyper vigilant and and very sensitive to everything! By the time I try to function "normally" I'm very weary and then the anxiety takes over...thank you so much for helping me to understand my life! God bless you for all your help!
I’m only recently connecting a lot of the dots thank you so much for sharing you’re invaluable content ❤
❤❤❤
I have never been able to relate to the label of diva as I learned early not to ask for anything and to try to solve my problems by myself. This did not apply to my parents who accommodated my environmental and social sensitivities, probably because they had them also. This started when I went to school, which was in the early 1960s. Looking back, I think I basically shut myself into my own lovely little world. I am an only child so I knew how to play by myself and I'm an introvert, so I usually liked to do so. I have paid over the years (in not asking for what I need) in exhaustion, stress, anger and tears.
It was recently pointed out to me that if I had Prosopagnosia ( face blindness), and I do, that it must have been very confusing for me to manage in school when I was a child! Holy S**t it certainly was. I spent most of my school time looking out of the window and trying to avoid any attention. I realise this is an autism video but I know that Prosopagnosia has quite a high link to autism. But my feeling is that this is a revelation that must affect many misunderstood children. It is particularly compounded if the school that has a school uniform. I am 64 years old now, but not being able to recognise other people is a terrible way to live. It breaks my heart for myself and for future children and teachers. I think I have written this quite confusingly but quite simply I am trying to make the point that there may be many people, children and adults feeling very confused and "othered" and none of them being aware of face blindness
You must really love your occupation and job.. you do it very well. Thank you for sharing.
I am disgusted with the psychiatric medical community. I was diagnosed with everything else. It started with OCD and ended with Rapid Cycling bipolar which doesn't even exist because that is complex PTSD. I was so obviously autistic but I was never diagnosed properly and instead was blamed for autistic behaviors that I could not help. My mother thought I was having temper tantrums when I was having autistic meltdowns. I am beyond angry at my mother and the medical community and especially psychiatrists for my life. Psychiatry blamed me four things I could not help as I was autistic. But the last 50 years of Psychiatry have been complete bulshit where the psychiatrists blame the children for what the parents caused and for what genetics did. I personally think that psychiatrists should be banned from the medical community and never allowed to practice again because none of them ever got anything right ever. I had to diagnose myself and then prove it. I hate psychiatrists they are the narcissistic idiots of the medical world
👏
My first experience with a psychiatrist has been great. He listens to me and when I mentioned I might be autistic, he gave me a screening test right away. I scored very high and he just said, with a genuine smile, "Yeah, you probably are on the spectrum!" He has been great with my ADHD as well. And he recommends supplements and and suggests ways to change my thinking and behavior alongside prescribed medication, which is really cool, as well as explaining to me how the meds actually work. Plus he knows I'm poor, so he gives me discounted appointments. Not all psychiatrists are bad.
I was in therapy when I was a child in the late 1970s. I wasn't a "bad" kid, I was depressed. In hindsight it is mind blowing, and very sad, how everything was about trying to change my behavior but the depression was never dealt with. Like it's MY FAULT and something I'M doing wrong/bad. What?!?
Hi I excell in learning about the Human body and now pharma free and doing much better had to educate myself to talk to doctors they get upset that I can argue their points and diagnosis is only treating symptoms not finding the cause of a issue thousands of people are treat for a diagnosis that is a lot of times wrong ... Actually harm people than help them .
No one knows your own body better than your self and when you are In pain no one cares about your pain more than yourself , learn the medical studies on Dopamine reward and punishment plays a big part in our behaviours ..😊❤
Most are true for me. I'm only self-diagnosed. No one believes me when I say I might be autistic. Maybe it's time for a formal diagnosis... Great video, thank you ❤
This checks every box for me. I recently found out I have add but this also explains a lot of behaviors that I felt I needed to cover up and considered myself weird for having
At age 69 I recognized I am a high-functioning autistic woman. It was during the last year of moms life that thing's got crazy for me. Personal interactions with my siblings we're causing me great distress. I experienced two dissociative episodes that sent me back into therapy. Once again when I tried a deep dive to the trauma, nothing was there. Then one day I had an epiphany or maybe it was Mom who now understood everything sending me a message. I Googled narcissism versus autism and the light of clarity was turned on. Looking back on my discovery I realized mom was a high functioning autistic too. Then I chuckled when I realized why Mom would call me up to ask me why one sibling or the other would behave in the way she would describe. My answer was always I don't know. Now I do know !!
I agree with all of the things you said Kim, but I was having a chuckle to myself when you were talking about anxiety & how you can't wait to go to an event, then when you get there, you can't wait for it to be over. It reminded me ofwhen I'm near the end of a product. I can't wait for it to be finished, so I can open another one. I have no idea what that's about....
I found Mom on the Spectrum a tadbit over a year ago. I was in love with her channel as I watched. Her videos helped me realize that at 62, I likely slipped through the cracks. Eventually, this past January, I was diagnosed with autism and adhd 😊
Not everything but certain things have to be certain way or I go bezerk; curtains and rugs for example, no one can touch or move my curtains. The cutlery in the drawer. Food in the fridge. I have a special bag for different occasions; 1 for going to the cabin, 1 for airplane, 1 for gym, 1 for work, 1 for shopping, 1 for beach, and these can never change.
Listening to you I realized the amount of guilt I always felt for being so "high maintenance", so picky. I've been angry at myself for it. Of course, this ties up perfectly to the fact that I'm female who is also highly atractive and always had a personal style that got me praise, all to say, I fit the "high maintenance" stereotype. But, nope, just austistic, a life consumed by sensory issues.
Thank you so much for your work ❤
This is my testimony
@@prettypuff1 girl, same..... "but you're too pretty to be _____"
@@gr00vyt0ni i find people are even more disappointed that my personality isn’t what they expect.
I am hyper feminine, I love makeup and all things girly. So when I start talking about my favorite elements and why, NTs don’t like that
@@prettypuff1 same here! I have a cosmetology license that I do not utilize because I was literally physically pushed in to the office to sign up for schooling because I'm "sooooo good at hair nails makeup etc it would be perfect for me!"
Let's just ignore the fact that touching strangers, let alone people I love, usually skeeves me tf out.
I totally relate.... cats and minerals are my friggin JAM! Wanna talk about how recessive DNA traits could result in a glorious exotic coat? What about the protein structure of whiskers? No?
OK, what are your thoughts on Nuummite? It's the world's oldest mineral, or so they say! Do you prefer Cavansite on the Mother Stone, or.........?
Yeah it goes completely over people's heads. They either think I'm joking, or like you said, pure disappointment!
Is there a stereotype of an autistic woman being physically unattractive?
Thanks so much for your videos on autism and ctpsd. I finally got diagnosed this week with autism. Still have to wrap my head around this. But everything makes sense now.
I think the high maintanance thing also comes from having a high need to defend ones boundries. And if growing up, people don’t believe you when you tell them things like ‘the lighting hurts my eyes/head’, you perhaps learn, that if you act dramatic about the lighting, people will respond by turning it off or otherwise catering to your need.
In essence: if children are not heard, they will either learn to shout or to shut up 💔
I'm getting assessed on February ❤ I'm ADHD but self diagnosed autistic too
I'm self diagnosed, waiting for an appointment with the doctor for a diagnosis. I just flat out told the dentist, cause after my husband passed, I've gotten so bad at masking in high stress situations. It worked out, I didn't try to not cry, not fidget and just let me be what I needed to. For the first time ever, I didn't get sick for a day or three after seeing the dentist. Interesting results.
I am super lucky…my dentist is also autistic.
@@faeriesmak Nice! That has to be helpful.
Yes! Last time I went to the dentist I brought my stress ball to squeeze and I told her by crying I release stress. And like you I had a much smoother aftermath instead of being out of order for a couple of days. 🤍
I didn’t feel like part of the world as a child. I felt I was different in a strange way. I never felt connected to everyone in the world. I have learned connection through my family but still not as much as I like. I am a really good actress
Thank you for the work you are doing and sharing with us all. I can really relate to most of these signs. I have been diagnosed for hEDS and have wondered if I wasn't mildly on the Autism Spectrum. I have identified as an HSP for a long time now. And, I deal with CPTSD and what feels to me like ADHD. I have also been diagnosed with some mild traits of Borderline Pers. Disorder. I find it fascinating all the overlap and interconnection of all these labels. I am 69 years now on a path of rediscovering who I truly am. I'd like to learn more about how to take the mask off and learn to accept and be who I am, beyond all the programming, conditioning and mimicing of others. I am on a Spiritual path which has been helpful...practices of mindfulness and connecting with self and Source. I'd love to hear what you have to say about this.
In loving gratitude!
Aside from all these (and more), I never get bored. Ever. Does anyone else experience this too?
Same here. I have no idea how to be bored - never been bored in my life. I don't get how that even works. Even if I'm in a boring situation I can just sort of go off in my own brain and have an adventure. 🤷♀️ But I'm still paying attention to what's going on in real life. It can be dangerous when I'm driving long distances, though I've never had an accident. I just go in and out of periods where I don't remember having paid attention to the road.
I never feel bored either, although I'm not diagnosed autistic and not sure I even think I am. I'm just curious at this point. I do relate with a lot of the signs given here in this video and a previous one about autism in females, but I wonder if it's the cptsd I'm dealing with rather than autism or ADHD.
Still interesting about the lack of boredom though. I wonder if that's an autism thing 🤔
Starts at 3:02
Some of the traits mentioned here are the traits of starseeds such as high sense of injustice. I am not an autistic woman but I do have many traits due to CPTSD
My sister and I were both diagnosed with selective mutism as children. They initially thought we were autistic, but then told our mother that we couldn't possibly be autistic since we had selective mutism. 😕 After a number of conversations, it's likely that all three of us are autistic.
The satin part of the blanket! I totally forgot about that.
Youre absolutely amazing and totally awesome!!!!!! Haha i wanted to put that straight out the bat, and to add that your videos are life changing. Really. Thank you very much for sharing your knowledge, for putting it up for us all to access here. You're doing amazing Dr. Kim! Thank you and infinite love to you!!!!
OK, I was Ok until you pulled out the hyper empathy at the end! 😮 Before I was on the fence about my possibly having autism. But my hyper empathy was the thing that was making me feel like I didn't have it! Now I'm booking an appointment with our psychologist!!!
I was told recently that I am likely high functioning autistic and HSP and was being raised by a narcissistic, possibly psychopathic parent. I haven't found any research to help me better understand specifically how that would likely have affected me or how best to help myself. My therapist is doing IFS and EDMR with me. But I have some real struggles that those don't seem to help with. Like knowing how to interact normally with others and what is normal and healthy behavior.
Yes I got alot to learn Just Diagnosed ADHD in July and Autism in October I am 39. Thank you I was tested by Doctors who are doing research on females. Wilderwood in New Mexico they had their own test I loved plus regular ones.
Thanks so much for sharing that we can have hyper empathie. I brought up 3 times that I think Iam autistic and because Iam very empathic it got declined twice. I remember my neurologist said: you fit 100% with all of your behaviour but you can read people and have compassion that's why it cant be. Luckily the third person did believe me and I am waiting for an assesment now. This believe that you are not autistic if you have empathie really made me struggle believing myself.
My Dear Friend Kimberly
So happy to hear from you again
Hi hi I'm on spectrum and I'm a rocker. .😁 I thought I'd start off this by being light-hearted because At first I was going to pass up this video when it showed up on my feed then something in my spirit said listen . So here i am .
I can definitely relate to being called super picky . As I was raised my great-grandparent.
I was also called very spoiled what would I come to find out it's not that I was spoiled it's just because my grandmother knew that I was her "special baby"
I definitely Rock from side to side but only when I witness trauma or would I perceive to be traumatic.
I'm extremely sensitive and empathic, I will cry when I see a homeless person, I will tear up when I see somebody bullying someone else, and i can be dangerously impulsive, when I sent someone else in danger.
I'm 47 years old now and learned how to manage my ", spectrum -ness and i just discovered that my oldest son who was recently diagnosed on the spectrum of autism .
However, I don't know how it was recognized in him but it was misdiagnosed in me .
Just in the last year I was diagnosed with bipolar 2.
But im beginning to believe that , because im articulate and high functioning , psychiatrist will misdiagnosed all the time. I went into one session and was diagnosed but im working on getting a second opinion,
n fact I have a learning disability with numbers as well and been getting migraines sense the age 11 i also get the aura which makes me sensitive to light i wear dark shades often and most nen call me picky and high maintenance. But i often say I don't even own a pair of heels I'm more of a flip-flop girl lol
And in college i was diagnosed with discscuila ( hope I spelled that right but basically it's when you have a slow registration of numbers or hard time retaining numbers in the brain) .
I also talk ALOT.
And i rock more as a trauma response, and contrary to popular belief i actually like being around people, but I don't like being touched. but im very affectionate. I am a hugger. But don't like it when others try to give me one .
I also..low key ..like dolls and stuff animals.
I feel safe around them .. and i low key think and believe you objects and or dolls have "feelings" too .
I am a content creator, and yet i have yet to "come out the closet" with sharing my life story ...
As i have dealt with men who have exploited me.
I have been called naive and gullable in many situations.
Some time's i look back over my life and now i can see why my great grandmother sheltered me so much ..
I know often have called myself lil red riding hood .. because i have lived most of my life in a bubble not foreseeing that there would be wolves in the woods.
But sometimes i am afraid because im intelligent in all other areas of my life but i struggle with knowing people's true intent.
I literally don't know why people are mean , and hateful to others.
Im just now figuring out things thst even a 20 year old knows i often tell my 26 yrar old daughter that she's so much more smarter than me .
She is the one who really helps me to not be so trusting in others. ❤
Thank you.
New subbie sorry for the typos I don't have my shades on ..
Oh and im super indecisive.. even with things i have already made a choice on . If that makes sense. ❤😂
Thank you for sharing this news is so so so important! I love you!!! Brilliant.
Starts at 3:00.
😅❤️
Also restricted interests are socially accepted ones like psychology, make-up…
PLEASE DO A VIDEO ABOUT AUTISM IN WOMEN AND PMDD. PLEASE THERE IS NO AWARENESS FOR US. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder happens when the brain is extremely sensitive to the NORMAL hormonal fluctuations in menstruating women and symptoms range from intense rage, depression, anxiety, panic, serious unaliving thoughts and constant intrusive thoughts. It makes autistic traits unbearable. Pmdd has an unalive rate of 30%, much higher than major depression, bpd, schizophrenia, everything.
There is a statistic floating around that 80% of women with Pmdd is autistic (!). I only know I'm autistic now at 35 because I started having severe Pmdd after having a baby and saw that statistic and started deep diving into how autism presents differently in women.
Every doctor and psychologist I've ever spoken to has never even heard about Pmdd or treated it, its gut wrenching always being the first and only one. I have all these traits you mention in spades, PLUS debilitating PMDD, which was only even added to the DSM in 2013 (!).
There is so little understood about PMDD and it gets worse with age and peri-menopause, only subsiding in menopause. It lasts decades and is really dangerous coupled with everything autistic.
The "gold standard" treatment of ssri's, snri's, mood stabilizers AND birth controls have all failed me and a large part of that is my autistic traits. Hyper sensitivity, anxiety (genetically slow processing COMT AA brain pathway, slow estrogen metabolizer - meaning more hormonal load and symptoms), remuneration, physical intolerance to all the medications I've tried, everything has failed me. I'm left with holistic measures for a serious mood disorder that is very, very far from the "severe pms" it gets grouped under by doctors.
When I was younger, Pmdd was present, but to a much lesser degree than before having a baby. It's debilitating now. It's escalated from only having it the few days before periods occasionally, to monthly from ovulation (any hormone fluctuations set it off for me and for so many others in my age group), straight through to end of bleed when hormones finally stop fluctuating. Then within a week, it all starts up again. I isolate a lot, I struggle a lot with nobody having any awareness of PMDD. A good resource is the pmdd subreddit for deep dives.
" Hard to be present" , Thank you for your enlightening conversation. I believe in might be ADD and most probably on the spectrum.
This video is very interesting and revealing. Since I was little I was very picky about food, I threw up every time I got into a car or a bus, I also didn't like noisy or very active people or places with a lot of people, much less speaking in public and things of that sort. I was a quiet girl with few friends, sometimes thought of as too subtle. In first grade, my teacher told my mother that she thought it was strange how quiet and calm I was, but my mother never paid even the slightest attention. These problems continued into adulthood, where it caused me the most problems was at university and at work, unfortunately due to external pressures I chose a career not suitable for my personality, which today I think is a spectrum issue. + high anxiety, inflexibility, high maintenance and extremely avoidant 😓😖
is it common for late diagnosed women to have spent their whole life with serious sensory issues and not have realized it? Because I think I forced myself into burnout so much easier because I didn't realize that I was overstimulated at all times just because of the environment.
Thank you for continuing to produce these excellent videos when you must be obviously stress over your physical health at the moment. At least if the cheek is itchy, that is a sign that it is healing well.
I want to be able to go to a Concert for Dimash. All my attempts at attending ballet, musicals or shows have failed miserably.
Do you know of a drug that can safely shut down our sensory issues for a day or 2???😢
I found diazepam, or (Warning! Warning!) (ha ha ha! I’ve forgotten its other name!!) V***** is wonderful stuff for taking the abrasive edge off everything that’s external but is causing a high internal stress level. My friendly local GP had prescribed me a few when I went to him for help handling my Dad’s death; I had some left over and took them when I was in a situation that would have been an incredible struggle for me without them (but I would still have done it, because Masking…). Not only did the situation go well, but I enjoyed it, which meant the people around me could enjoy it too. Marvellous stuff, I’m really sad it’s got such a bad name these days. Valium!! That’s the stuff! Glad I remembered!
Inderol / propanol helps
I love The Thought Spot
4:40
Hah!! I'm doing that now. Its so soothing to me and makes me feel like it helps me think. I often wonder if it mimics the feeling of being in my mother's womb...
TICK TICK TICK to ALL. Im definitely a rocker and a twirler!
Also I get very picky especially with furniture and clothes - an ugly pair of shoes may offends and upsets me😂❤❤❤❤❤
Struggling with mutism and ridity and EmF sensitivity all recent. Have been masking VERY WELL for almost all of my 32 yrs
You are so brilliant Kim thank you so so much for your videos
This describes me to the Au"T"ism Spec"T"rum for Highly Masking and SO NeuroDivergent! Why did all of these descriptions just make me cry?!
I love this, but do you mind redoing your set esp on the autism videos? the background is very bright and competing your blonde (but BEAUTIFUL) hair. Something darker, more contrasting like a deep purple would make a huge difference and be less strain on the eyes. Also, it would be helpful if when doing lists, to put the list next to your head on the screen. It makes it easier to connect all the thoughts having that visual outline.
I agree with the list idea.
Is reassurance seeking in high anxiety moments not related to the relationship a form of stimming?
thank you for this video. i think it may have saved my marriage. i’m writing this comment in hopes that every time someone likes it, it will remind me of the daily struggles she has to go through. i was ignorant to say the least
Happy thanksgiving dr Kim sage 🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃
I'm always confused about what masking is. Doesn't everyone "mask" - like they need to control their emotions and act in certain ways to be acceptable? I thought everyone did that? I often get moments at work where I find my emotions overwhelming me or I get anxious or sounds might be really irritating me, but I hide my distress on the outside and try to act normal so no one notices. Is that masking?
That’s a really good question, and one I’ve been thinking about a lot.
I think everyone masks to an extent, but the difference is many autistics will mask almost constantly, while neurotypical people mask once in a while as a choice about how they want to present themselves.
Another way I think of it ND people are always screening what they are feeling or saying; they are pre-thinking, like almost watching themselves through another’s eyes whenever there is a possibility of being perceived.
This is so on point!!!!
I would love to access your videos more deeply. Would you consider time stamping?? I don't always have time to watch front to back, even though I want to :((❤
Hi, if you are serious about making helpful videos, please consider adding in the description a time-stamped table of content. Thanks.
I am not sure if people think I am high maintanence but I can relate to the rigid need of things being a certain way. My said I want to have thing my way all the time though. This led me to stop voicing these needs.
I was always told I am too sensitive and dramatic. I also get told a lot to smile because I look mad. I dont know if I am autistic and jjst im the researching phase. I was diagnosed with ADD as a 4th grader and depression all growing up. Now as a mom of four, I am experiencing anxiety, but that could be caused from family bond with my parents and siblings being totally distanced. It has been very hard to go through.
Can you please make a video of how high masking female autism, relates/ overlaps with having a fearful avoidant attachment style. Similarities, differences and ways to heal with an autism context.
Raging sensory issues…
It’s so overwhelming right?💔🙏🏻🩷
@@DrKimSage would you say there's possibly a connection between migraines and autism. I took note a long time ago that there's a connection between sensory overload and migraines.
@@Sarah-with-an-HMe too. Need a lot of Eletriptane 40mg. Now in vacation in thailand, need nothing.
@@stefanmargraf7878 I can manage migraines with coffee,
Hi. Thank you. I watch a lot of videos and have known I have autism for several years. But struggle to find a practitioner who is familiar with autism or even female autism who accepts my insurance (in Alaska). It's difficult enough to conjure the courage to talk with someone about the struggles you've accumulated in your life that you've kept hidden on purpose. It feels so personal to share the experiences that define you. What does one do?
Your videos have helped me so much -- thank you 🙏🫶
Sometimes, I do very well socially, and sometimes, I have bad social anxiety. I hate the bright lights on stores and get stressed with top much noise and talking..
I’m 5 minutes in and only just noticed the bandaid on your face. Hehe. I’ve been looking at you the whole time, too 😅
As a girl who might be autistic, I have a more male presentation, hence why so many people call me “autistic” or have said they think I have autism
Thank you Dr Kim 🙏
Yep I have all of these. But there's so much crossover with ADHD.
So much so that I've started to wonder if we're on the right track at all separating these 2 things. Maybe they are actually the same - neurotype B or whatever - and different people present different "symptoms" because of different experiences... hence the high prevalence of autism + adhd together. I've started to kinda think of the classifications as more and more useless. Like, either there's wayyyy more neurotypes than we think (adhd, add, audhd, internalising autism, externalising autism, dyslexia, dyscalculia, synesthesia, typical, etc etc etc) or there's way less, like type A (typical) and type B (divergent including all of the above, coming from a common source like a different brain structure e.g. less pruning of neurons, more "detours in neural pathways", or something like monotropism). Or maybe it depends on the way you look at it. Maybe both are true. In the way you could look at eye colours and describe them as "light" (selective albino traits) and "dark" (full spectrum) - or as brown, light brown, hazel, light blue, dark blue, light green, blue green, grey, grey green etc etc. I supppose, going with this analogy, it's kinda the difference between "why is this and what does it feel like" vs "what does it look like on the outside" and maybe that's actually oddly fitting for the neurotypes as well.
But anyway, the way the dsm is structured at the moment does not correctly depict reality and that's really frustrating
Thank you for your video, I can tick a lot of those things mentioned. Suzanne
i didn't know rewatching shows could be stimming. gosh can't count how many times i've rewatched buffy the vampire slayer and xena warrior princess.
Thank you much of this resonates with me.
Hello to everyone reading this. Right now, I'm inconsolable. My ex-partner left a few weeks ago, and I am heartbroken and saddened since this relationship is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Although I tried, I was unable to win him back. I don't know what to do, but I shouldn't be posting this here.
Since my 12-year relationship ended, I know how hard it is to say goodbye to someone you love. But I couldn't just let him go, so I did everything I could to win him back. I finally went to a spiritual counsellor for guidance, and he helped me win back his love.
It's fascinating! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor and how can I get in touch with one most effectively?
Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.
He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers and he’s the best spell caster to ever live
Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. I just looked father obah eze up, and I'm genuinely impressed.
✨🕯️✨thank you, so helpful. ✨🪷✨
hi there, i recognise a lot from what you are saying. Thanks for talking about it. I was pondering on what you said of alienating or feeling socially excluded. I often socially exclude myself because i feel strange in front of others and socialy awkward. So basically since my teenage years i started to make it my identity to be strange and different. Does anyone recognise this? (BTW i'm from the Netherlands so my english might not be so good) love to hear from you
Completely unrelated to video. Can you do a room tour. I love wall paper and the picture behind you.
Thank you for sharing 💖✨️🧚♂️
1. Picky and high maintenance. Everything has to be a certain way.
2. Stimming
3. Sensory issues
4. Selective mutism
5. Anxiety
6. Rigid in routines
7. Strong sense of injustice
8. Sensitivity to medication and environment, due to combo of childhood trauma and autism. Things include loss of autonomy and opportunity; social exclusion is part of this.
My husband tells me jokingly I have so many "rules" 😅, I always loved the silk edge of the blanket, couldn't sleep without touching it, love soft plush things, different textures, can't stand clothing tags... Pretty sure I'm far along the spectrum and it's ok but wish I'd known sooner.
Thank you for this ❤