I’m tired of people excusing bad pastor behavior by saying “no church is perfect”....which means, don’t try to hold the pastor accountable and just accept it.
You'll have to expect it. The bible says man will let you down. They don't change, infact they get more prideful and have the church plot you as a blacksider and or Jezebel to protect the organisation. There is a very power dark principality working within churches... Witchcraft. They protect those who thithe "well" and have been in church for many years. New members are usually very discerned to spot this... Some pastors try hide their operand modus, but it's evident and they always slip up during their sermons especially with thithe and faith and also while pushing self development. They even state they want people of influence who can get into schools hospitals etc etc ...and people who can thithe well .... That's why you don't find homeless in the church... We should be inviting groups to church every Sunday, the homeless... But we don't see that .. because they dont thithe and others look down on them .. This is an act of desperation and lack of their own faith God doesn't need us. We need him. They don't stay long. Of course it's not all in church ... But most. Christian churches are not much different to other cults.... And in essence most are organisations. I know a women who had cancer... Her church cell group actually blocked her and rejected her during her illness....covering up things that were done to her. She served at church an everything. But they treated her very poorly.. ALSO, they have actually targets to reach relating to new members and thithe... Very sad indeed
"There is no perfect church" is the statement of an enabler. People use this to excuse the congregants behavior, too. Not every church is like the Corinthian church, and not every church is like the cretian church, as mentioned in Titus 1:12-13 but it seems to be the majority of them that is this way.
Pretty much! I have never shared with our pastor that my narcissistic husband who is a deacon in our church has these issues. So afraid that he wouldn’t believe me or tell me to pray more etc. Since the COVID hit I have pulled away from attending our church that I have gone to for almost 40 yrs because I cannot handle how my husband will treat me at home so awful many times and then in church he is Mr Holly Jolly as I call it. And our pastor has never asked me where am I or how am I? God only knows what my husband tells him!
@@deborahcollins1100 glad you don't need to know. You already can guess. You can keep your own sense of goodness and identity and do what you are going to do. I hear you and I'm still ok with my own sense of what is right and good and I know what I am going to do.
@@KJ-lb4tj LoL, exactly...only for prayer. It's funny how the pastor and their associates "enjoy" spreading gossip about the faults of others OR use it as a "teaching point" during a sermon BUT when the pastor is caught in a fault...all church members are expected to be quiet, remain loyal and respect the privacy of him & his family. Any church member who even mentions the faults of a pastor (for any reason) gets shunned by the congregation automatically
Ezekiel 34 gives a summary of the relationship between the false shepherds and the sheep. People are hungry for the green pastures, the Word of God. People wander for hunger and thirst. So many churches are in bad shape considering the watchman on the wall is asleep or nowhere to be found.
You are spot on. My Dad's a pastor. I can't even go to his church because I know how he really is. You did a brave thing by making this video. Thank you
Amen Wendy, thanks so much for sharing this. My wife and I are just healing from trying a brick and mortar church after a decade. Prayers for you that you’re healing and have found some fellowship. Blessings
Grew up having everyone gush to me about how wonderful of a person and a pastor my father was. They didn't see what I saw - a narcissist who doesn't see or feel anything for anyone but himself.
My mom too. Everyone saw 'beautiful, selfless saint" but huge unpredictable temper, no patience mixed with uncontrollable, inconsostance violence and temper for no apparent reason. My mom had mental illness...perhaps some narcissism. We'll never know. As an adult, I feel bad for her but she did damage to a lot of people. I don't think she could help it and I think she did the best she could but WOW! To the receiver of her wrath, it was so cruel!
Yes. You are correct. I am an organist/ pianist for 40 years. At least now i can spot them. I have walked away from several churches. Imagine that....a demon leading the flock.
A Demon leading the flock. Yes indeed. I had two dreams the pastor at my last church was a shark swimming around trying to eat people. Yuck. Im no longer a member anywhere and my relationship with God is on fire. I teach in the local jail and seek out drug addicts and broken people on the street. They have nothing left to prove or loose. Its actually refreshing.Jesus is our cover not man
*DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT DEMONS!* A secret and scientific study by a secret division of the university of the Holy Catholic Church at Vatican-city, secretely revealed that only three to four point two percent of demons are possibly full blown narcissist. That's significantly less than amongst earthly mortals!
@Light House wow sorry to hear this happened to you I know a couple that just left their churchy three years ago and they were totally shunned I had some exposure as a child and a little more as an adult and I seen some demonic stuff in there myself it's not a physical building anyway but rather a spiritual one we who are born of God spirit shalom
Oh really... what about the people that realised this and left the church to find somewhere else to worship, not led by a narcissistic sheep in wolves clothing 🤔
If one visits a church and the parking spaces that are closest to the front doors are not reserved for the handicap, elderly or expecting mothers, but instead are reserved for the "senior pastor" and "first lady", then that's probably a bad sign.
I am Canadian and I wasn't familiar with the term "first lady" until now. I have never gone to a church with a "first lady" as if the pastor is the President. My buddy Steve is a pastor and I have observed him over time. I am considering joining his church. The problem is the good guys like him have to deal with the other guys because they are often in the same denominational / association circles. My ex-pastor happened to be very amillenial and didn't believe in the Tribulation or that anything was really "end times". I am not pre-trib - I happen to be post-trib - whatever - but he would go on and on making fun of pre-trib people. The problem is that if we are near the Tribulation he is in deep trouble and I think he knows it deep down.
Another bad sign is when the female leaders (like you see on TV) are dolled up like dogs dinners wearing a ton of make up, elaborate styled hair and even signs of cosmetic surgery. Someone with a true love of God is not vain and don't parade themselves in silver and gold.
My narcissistic ex-husband was the clergyman of our congregation when I left him because he was verbally and emotionally abusive. It was so disheartening to realize that the shepherd of the flock was the wolf in sheep’s clothing; and was a modern-day Pharisee.
I'm not a believer anymore, I left the church over ten years ago. Corruption among leadership is one of the main reasons I left. But I noticed a lot of pastors are highly charismatic and great entertainers but they're ignorant of the scriptures and don't play a much of a teaching role. I think a big problem is the congregation consists of people who are easily manipulated and also ignorant of the scriptures themselves. Unless they're taking a verse out of context to push a political agenda. The young adult's discipleship program (Masters Commission) at the church I was raised in was led by a narcissist who was sleeping with the young women in the program who didn't have father figures in their lives. Seeing that firsthand and other abuse is why I just don't even believe God exists.
@@littlelegs4563Hi Little Legs, Please do not leave Christ Jesus for what others do wrong. We are all sinners needing grace. That doesn’t excuse what we see in many churches today or people in general. I believe most pastors are not even saved. Most are hirelings that never even preached against sin ONCE in a while. Because they weren’t living right other. There are some good ones out there. Jesus said it would get bad int he last days and many would apostatize from the faith, that can mean leaving the faith (as it sounds like you did because of others) in getting hurt, or not living the faith as many pastors are not committed and got into ministry as a career or nepotism because their Dad was a preacher or pastor. Please do not take this out on the Lord who has no fault. I don’t go to church but love my Saviour for what He did for me. God’s word is still God’s word and it is true. I love you in Jesus. I left a few churches over the years and my heart bleeds for people that get dismayed because of this great falling away but please do not become that statistic on the other end of the spectrum. God Bless!
DON'T Feel Alone...Many Was Dogged Out...It Will Either Make U Strong n Be Delivered Forever or Mentally n Physically Kill U! I Founded Myself n Very Self Satisfied. What Devil Intended To Destroy ONLY Cause U From Following LIES!
This gentleman is spot on. If Pastors have no humility, then they shouldn't be Pastors at all. He's right, there are 90% of pastors are often narcisstic. When the pastor is narcisstic then their congregation is narcisstic. This is why I stay out of churches just like I stay away from bars.
Thanks so much for explaining this. My boss is a pastor. He owns a community mental health company. All these negative things go in there. Gossip, playing people against each other, verbal abuse, using us by overworking us. I've only been there 2 months and I'm quitting tomorrow. He can yell and scream but I'll walk out! I refuse to be abused.
My late father pastored for many years. Pastors, in general, are in love with their own voice. They are very accustomed to people listening to them "holding forth." When my sister attended a church college, it was known across campus that ministerial students were the most aggressive dates and the girls had to keep an eye the hands of these guys because they were like an octopus. Since my father was a pastor, I was acquainted with more ministers than most I can't tell you how many of them had scandals regarding money, sex, or both. My father never had a scandal that got out but that was because he wasn't caught. I know of at least two children he molested. One was me.
That sounds about right! Most abusers never get caught because there are so many narcissists in law enforcement, courts, other authorities or anywhere higher up, and they always, ALWAYS, support each other. Birds of a feather flock together. How are you doing now? Are you okay?
Oh lord…. So sorry for what you went through. My Narc father was also a pastor, A demon in sheep’s clothing. He abused me so much physically, I used to almost pass out. He truly was demon possessed
@@stephm5877 ,, Exactly. When I went to therapy at age 40, spirituality and the sexual abused was all mixed up. Intellectually, I knew it wasn't the same thing, but emotionally, it had a huge. It was years before I could say the word, God.
The specific verse is: 2 Tim 3:1-9 right in the middle of those verses, it says: "having a form of godliness but denying it's power" ! If we know the WORD it will set us free!
I agree, most pastors are bullies and then cry about getting hate mail. "When a man's ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him."
11:20 "It is a sickness." It breaks my heart. I cannot stomach most churches. Even, the so-called good ones. I am not perfect, therefore I do not look for perfection, but I must have honesty and we can go from there. It's so phony, judgemental and cliquish. If you don't play the game in the church they will run you out--on behalf of the pastor.
Galatians 5:13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh ; rather, serve one another humbly in love.
What's interesting is that it's also the opposite. In these nondenominational churches the pastor can become the one who creates and enforces their own doctrines and legalism.
@@CrumbsDM Part of the control comes from; Romans 13 NIRV - Obey Those in Authority - All of you - Bible ... www.biblegateway.com › passage Obey Those in Authority - All of you must obey those who rule over you. There are no authorities except the ones God has chosen. Those who now rule.
A church used to be the place where we were granted protection against the devil, but this days it is like the devils residence. Those pastors will pay big time, the day will come when they will have to answer to the Son of Man Himself!
The bible use to say the Lion will lie down with the Lamb, it now says the wolf will lie down with the lamb.This is whats up the wolf's are now the shepards.You better know.
I've only met one humble pastor in my life. Narcissist pastor's seem to get all the Codependents or weak people. I was one, and I did not know anything about narcissism or none of that until I did my own research.
Seen the codependents following the pastor around out of fear and anxiety. My pastor once told a suicidal man to stop whining like her grandkids. She also told a meth addict he was a dog. I work with drug addicts,, suicidal people and am passionate about it. She once told me she could crush a couple of people if she wanted to. I learned to follow God elsewhere. Incredible issue here. Its best to leave and follow God anywhere he Leeds
I feel your pain, my husband and I were treated abysmally by our church. It's a very long story that I don't want to get into online but we're very wary about attending any kind of church now, it's not worth the heartache.
Im afraid to attest that you are in the correct! Thappens to baby or lazy Christians that don't bother to investigate for the truth about things, for the most part....but when you grow spiritually you begin to see the truth for what it is...& no one can tell you otherwise cause the Spirit of Truth will bear witness with you & you just know....
You nailed it on so many points. My journey to learning about narcissism started when my pastor raged and threw us out of the church, not for sin, but for disagreeing with him, and then tried to convince everybody we were fakes. As a person who has suffered emotional and psychological abuse at the hand of a narcissist and his flying monkeys, I understand your tears. This indeed has to stop. Check out Pastor Stacey Shiflett's book, Wolves Among Lambs. He's awake to this epidemic.
Thank you for this. We were just abused by a pastor here in San Diego who we confronted for abusing numerous families in the church. We have been isolated and slandered by the pastor, and the other church goers who were our "friends" shunned us. Everyone will reap what they have sown from the greatest to the least. We served a 48 page paper to the congregation outlining the abuses. Within months it was revealed that two of the pastors were having affairs and the church congregants are leaving in droves for various reasons. God is removing their lampstand in judgement but it's been a horrible horrible experience going through this.
You mentioned the problem of "pastor worship". The Lord said "Take heed that no man deceive you. For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many." In my opinion, a person doesn't have to flat out claim to be the Lord, but when they start to take on a role of mediator between God and people, they are starting to fulfill Matthew 24:4 & 5.
Society is set up this way for these types of people to thrive and step on everyone else. Those that have a heart and are empathetic are literally not acknowledged.
Thanks so much for posting this well informative video of Narcissistic ministers who never want to confess but rather give excuses and cover up their wrongs.
Yep! They are full of pride & refused to apologize. Only when found out "maybe"...but even so....they have what is called the narcissistic injury and seek to threat or blackmail I mean the ones that have extreme but extreme pride & basically have no hope maybe of true repentance in their hearts at all! Evil in the pulpits indeed! 🤔
I worked at my former church briefly, and you're right - these narcissists don't confess. Instead, they blame it on Satan. I learned that there was a cover-up over not only adultery but sexual abuse as well. Rather than taking even a hint of ownership, they maintained that it was the fault of the victims. (The church was being sued only a few weeks into my employment.) The "poor victimized" church leaders were "so good at spreading the Word of God that Satan used those weak and immature Christians to attack them." I ended up quitting and leaving the church. There was just so much evil that these people perpetrated it was heartbreaking.
Oh my heavenly father this is so wrong but so true. I broke down in tears after watching this video. Here are hurting people in these churches who need love, fellowship and guidance and they are being abused by the last person they thought would abuse them. It's such a spiritual warfare going on in churches and theses so called pastors don't even see that they are the reasons that people aren't coming to Christ. What an oxymoron!
Yes, unfortunately they alienate & scare away God's own real white sheep 🐑 With their "scare tactics" pathetic scare tactics & very demonic in nature. All about control & manipulation.
@@valerieriggins3184I don't think it's about money, only, it's about power, there's no one who can be more powerful to the mind and soul of a bunch of people than a pastor, some people feel pleasure by using power.
There's only one Pastor believers need to follow, our good shepherd and Lord Jesus Christ. He will never fail you. He will never disappoint you. Trust in him alone. Christian leaders can make mistake, they can be wolves in sheep's clothing or not even really Christians. Do not judge God or his church by the evil deeds of fallen, sinful men. Fix your eyes on Jesus, the starter and finisher of your faith if you are truly in him. Don't let the devil steal your hope of salvation through men who did you wrong. Try house church.
They are good at curriculums and church "memberships" aka their "loyalty membemships", but lack tremendously soul growth and true character that ACTUALLY takes REAL ACCOUNTABILITY! Something narcissists don't know how to....aka clean the mess in "The house of God"....
You’re absolutely correct!! I’ve seen Pastors use God’s name to place fear in people so that they neglect the ability to think for themselves. It’s sad
It is possible you backslid right into Jesus. Perhaps losing your mind was a blessing to change your direction. Perhaps it was temporary. Don't be too hard on yourself, and see the reply below: hold fast, keep the course, stay close to Jesus.
I can tell that your heart is in your effort to expose this, and I'm very grateful for your effort. I'll be praying for you. My ex-husband was a "Christian" narcissist who wreaked havoc in my life for 20+ years before I finally left. He was quite fond of the pastor of our church who tended to be abrupt and no-nonsense to the detriment of whoever he was dealing with, including my interaction with him. It is only recently that my eyes are coming open to the fact that narcissism does indeed extend into the pulpit. We live in such a discouraging age. Come soon, Lord Jesus.
Amen Sister. My wife and I totally identify with your comments. Thanks so much for sharing. We just left another Narcissist church after not going to brick and mortar church for almost a decade, would love to hear what your doing for fellowship now if you don’t mind sharing. Anyway, yes come quickly Lord Jesus!
My X-husband is a pastor and he was so abusive . He has everyone fooled and when I left him all the other churches slandered me (flying monkeys) and believed his lies, I don't need a mediator between me and Jesus.
Jesus told us that He is the True Shepherd and that there would be many false shepherds but that His sheep would not follow them. Pastor means shepherd and Jesus is the only Pastor I follow. "My sheep hear My voice and I know them and they follow Me."
Poimen Greek word translated as shepherd and pastor in the New Testament. Jesus said, “there shall be one fold and ONE shepherd.” John 10 Someone will say, but what about Ephesians 4:11? Paul said, “he gave some as pastors (plural)” Who said? Jesus said “one pastor.” Same Greek word. PASTOR JESUS: Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.
I always ask myself, do I see humility in whoever is preaching. Also, are the approachable? I don't elevate any person who is at the pulpit. I have the same Bible as them and God promises to guide me to all truth.
God doesn't live in temples made by men. It's in the bible. But you are His temple. You are the temple of The Holy Spirit. Nowadays it's difficult to find sound people in their minds & their sound doctrines. But just read your Bible & yes the Spirit of Truth will guide you personally into ALL truth (you need to know....) blessings! ✌🏻
If only you knew the full extent of what you are saying. I served as Medical Missionary. When I returned to the U.S. I traveled as a Locum Tenens Anesthesia Provider, traveling around the U.S. filling in for a month here and there temporarily filling in at hospitals until they could hire a permanent Provider. We always attended Evangelical Churches while traveling. Almost without exception, because the Pastors knew I was bound by confidentiality they would ask me to stay after the service, take me into their private office and confess to me their sins, almost always adultery. This served to relieve their conscious, knowing that I would shortly be gone, carrying their secrets with me. As you say they were all Narcissists, I sensed no repentance, only an opportunity to off load their sins. I listened without comment. These men were not seeking counsel, they only wanted to get it off their chests to make them feel better, notice I said to make themselves feel better. A true sign of a narcissist. They did not ask for prayer or guidance. They had not sought forgiveness from the women or their husbands, Nor had they contacted their District Superintendent as is mandated by Church Policy. Growing up, my local Pastors were attempting to force me to join their ministry and took me into their confidences, and told me (gossiped) about all of the sins of the Congregants. Things I did not need to know as a young college age man. They also revealed to me the illegal finances they practiced in the Church (people did not know it, but they privately owned the Church Property and solicited donations to build it. I finally searched the public records and found out that if something happened to them, the ownership of the Church went to their minor son (who later, went on to work in the hierarchy of Benny Hinn), and that the Church Board they set up was a shame, the real Regulating Church Board that they put on the State Documents, consisted of their family members scattered around the U.S. and they conducted a phone Board Meeting of their family once a year to meet State Regulations. The Bible says, in Roman 3:10: "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one." referring to what is written in the Psalms. They do not seek repentance, because that would call for them to resign. What would they do for a job. They have no other skills than manipulation (maybe they could sell used cars or real estate).
I've seen this happen all the time and have had my own experiences with this. The classic is being told you have a demon which happened to me once and would be brushed aside and told I'm dividing the body like you say. I've left 3 churches in 7 years and in between have gone years without going to church even though I do want to fellowship genuinely. It reminds me of what's written in the bible how in the last days people will run to and fro for the truth but will not find it because it's hard to find truth in a church where the pastor is more concerned about his control than the gospel. Thankyou for your video, you're good at them and should do more if you think it's what God would have you do? 😊
Simone, good post. Stick to the Word of God on your own, especially the New Testament and the Lord Himself will reveal all of His truth to you. God bless you.
I got this told too, that there must be demons around to make people abuse me. Left me terrified for years and resulted in me asking other churches for help (the church elder who told me that said they don't do exorcisms at that church) only to get told I was a nutcase and should see a shrink! Took me until recently to realize it's not me that has a demonic problem but them! The church elder by the way claimed only certain churches can do exorcisms. This is in contradiction to the Bible. Jesus said anyone who is a Christian can drive out demons. He also drove out many demons and admitted that evil forces/demons exist. I suppose none of the ministers I spoke to has ever read the Bible...
So many problems with pastors and the way church is run. You are right on with so many of your points. I don’t know if its really 90% but its high. Even the ones with good hearts and good intentions can still have major issues within the church now that its run as a business. We have gotten SO FAR from what church is supposed to be, its really super sad. I’ve had to say no to joining churches simply on the basis of all the things they want you to promise and sign to be a “member”. These leaders claim to have authority to impose their rules and their ways but it doesn’t come from God. All our manmade institutions and inventions only serve to undermine what God intended for the church to be. Theres so many problems, and turning pastoring into a profession is definitely one of the root problems. A pastoral degree doesn’t make a person qualified, its more likely to puff up and create an entitlement attitude, as if their position was somehow earned or deserved and commands respect. Jesus chose uneducated fishermen for a reason. How do people, congregations, and leaders run churches in ways so contrary to the Bible and yet they don’t see it?? It baffles me and makes me sick. I’ve seen pastors just like you talk about cause all sorts of harm and problems and outright lie. People like that give Christians a bad name and will be judged severely for harming God’s flock. I do wonder how many of these narcissists are actually saved and how many realize or don’t realize the harm they are doing...
From my experience it's 100%. Never met a church minister of any kind (pastor, vicar, priest etc) or Jewish Rabbi or even Jewish Dayan (religious judge) that wasn't extremely narcissistic and demonic. I even had an experience where it was as obvious as watching a horror movie - vicar screamed the place down, got red in the face, started foaming at the mouth while spewing hatred towards me and threatening me... yikes, even now eight years later I shudder. He is best buddies with my stalker of 20 years who has committed a number of violent crimes including murder and r@pe... no surprise there.
Many of them know, but don't give a darn! They are there only for the applause, clout, money and the using of their selfish desires. Hired demon possessed individuals casting spells on the attendees bewitching them & gaslighting them & their realities....
We just left a church where the pastor was a toxic authoritarian. No accountability he and one of the trustees handled the church finances as a personal checking account. When asked about it, the pastor would get defensive and say everything is above board, creates silos, and would run anyone who would hold him accountable. Then preach a two series on why the other person is wrong and walking away from God by leaving his church.
I can spot a narrsacist almost immediately. So when i walk into a church, and the pastor is preaching nonsense, I point it out to him in front of the congregation. Then i leave. I have no respect for men who twist the scriptures. My loyalty is to Jesus not the pastor he is just a man with sinful tendencies like myself. His title does not make him superior to the congregation.
Be encouraged you are a voice in the wilderness. My personal opinion is that there are a massive amount of so called Christians who may have a rude awakening on judgement day. Again that's just my opinion. If we are fueled by hatered and fear the root cause is a form of evil. Thank you for your courage. Many are called but few are chosen.
SHINE YOUR LIGHT. Speak the Truth. Hold the Torch of Yahweh high my brother. Much Power to the TRUTH you are Speaking. Peace and Love to you and yours :-)
I didn't find out about a Jezebel or what a Narcissist was until I wanted started to follow Christ , and its been a eye opener to know what you are up against... .all praise to The Most High for revealing this !
You are so right about them wanting praises. I’ve seen this in several churches, It would be so painful sitting in church while at least 15-20 mins of the service was dedicated to giving praise to how awesome some leader was. Also there was a practice of letting a pastor leave one church in one area, usually in another state, and go to another church after having been involved in some sin. I’ve seen this across denominations. Another thing I’ve seen in churches is cliques and creating a heirarchy of believers based on how much money and time a person puts into the church, often this also has to do with socioeconomic status. Somehow this was translated to being a more faithful believer.
it's exactly the same at synagogues. I got treated abysmally because I was poor at the time. Got told I'm not good enough, don't deserve a Jewish husband, got membership of the synagogue denied, gossip got spread about me allegedly being a loose woman, got told I'm so stupid, uneducated, deprived, lazy. All of this started after it came out that I was poor. Prior to that, when everyone at the synagogue thought I was rich (I'm actually from a wealthy background so dressed well, only got poor after having had everything stolen), they spread rumors that I was so intelligent, clever, well educated, smart etc and the men fell over themselves for wanting to marry me. It's pathetic!
Thank you for your sincerity & insight into this truth. I have cried a river of tears over personal hurt from my pastor. I have remained silent & prayed. But I know, my body is keeping score because I continue to suffer in silence.
I wholeheartedly agree with this message. I generally do not get along with most pastors for this reason. In fact, I left a church back in 2009 because of a pastor with NPD. I didn't know it at the time, but he was the straw that broke the camel's back and the one who inspired me to do extensive research on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. This was after years of experiencing narcissists for most of my childhood and a good portion of my adulthood. Excellent post. We have to be soooooo careful with pastors nowadays. A good question to ask is "Do I want to do life with this person/with this ministry?" I believe this is a crucial question. The biggest narcissists I have ever known have been within the confines of church. No exaggeration.
Exactly I agree 100%. I was raised by a narcissist and found about almost a dozen different churches in 20 years most of them are. I have also done extensive research. My wife and are thinking about doing a similar video. Pray for us and God bless!
@@discernmentformypeople6598 over the past twenty years I've been involved with 4 different churches and 4 ministries. There was only one that doesn't try to control people and that church is a little worldly. I could go on with all the nonsense I witnessed and endured. This is a real issue and it is difficult to find solid churches especially when one regularly reads their Bible and has a relationship with Jesus. Once someone has that for themselves then the truth is always revealed.
I came across your video and I will have to agree with you. I'd also like to share my story. I grew up in the Conservative Holiness movement. It's probably one of the more strict groups of denominations out there. It generally consists of Bible Methodists, Pilgrim Holiness, Bible Missionary, Allegany Wesleyan, etc. They usually all share strict regulations mainly pertaining to outward appearance. When I was a child, we attended a "Wesleyan Holiness" church. A new pastor came in and all was well until he greeted myself, my siblings and my mother at the door on Sunday morning and wondered where our father was? My mother informed him that my father had to work at the hospital on that Sunday (which wasn't really the norm because he was able to be off on most Sundays). This did not sit well with the new pastor and things deteriorated quickly. First, he told my father that he could no longer play his trombone on the platform, but that he would have to sit on the first pew instead with his back to the congregation. Next, he slowly removed my father and mother from the song schedule and then he withheld their Sunday school booklet material. I guess thinking this did not get the job done at forcing them out, he resorted to public verbal abuse from the pulpit. He mentioned that food we had donated to them, had been thrown in the trash, he made fun of my mothers piano playing even going as far as to bash on the piano keys during a sermon. The straw that broke the camels back finally occurred one Sunday morning after my uncle had died a very tragic death. I was very close to my uncle and had witnessed some of the aftermath of his death and I still have emotional scars from that to this day. Another family had also suffered a death in the church at the same time. Our family, as well as the other family, sent thank you cards to the church because people from the church came to support us at the viewing of our uncle. As was the custom, the pastor would read the cards publicly that were sent to the church. He read the thank you card from the other family and once again expressed his sympathy to them. When he came to our card (and I will use another last name for privacy), he said the following from the pulpit, "And as for the Thomas family, I don't know what happened to their card, I think I threw it in the trash" and then he laughed. I will never forget that feeling as a kid. I was crushed and just destroyed. He chose instead of attempting to help heal us, to simply twist the verbal knife all because my father worked on Sunday at a hospital. It has been 26 years, but I tracked him down finally and I'm going to mail a letter to him mainly asking why he did what he did and explaining how I felt, and also saying that I forgive him. Its emotional baggage I have held for a while and at least for me, I won't be responsible for anything when I stand before Christ. I have received advice though that this mans reply may not be very kind and if it isn't, I am sending both my letter and his to their conference president.
As the son of a pastor, I must disagree with you. At least 98% of pastors are narcissistic, and abusive. I would also include, obnoxious, pretentious, stubborn, scientifically illiterate, and woefully unqualified to be a counselor of any kind, a position which is bestowed upon them no matter their lack of qualifications.
“Career Christians”, love it. You have no idea how close your thoughts are to my own to the extent of pastors’ sermons being the centre of attention to the extreme detriment of true fellowship. I’ve been contemplating a total revision of the entire Sunday church service format away from having the sermon and live band performance as the mainstay. Really appreciated everything you said here. And yes I’ve experienced narcissistic abuse from a “pillar of the church”, he was one of my best friends. In fact I’m almost certain that I’ve ID’d him not just as a covert malignant narcissist, but an actual psychopath, which is a first for me, because on two occasions he physically endangered my life while we were skiing and seemed to have no remorse. Kind regards.
I really appreciate how you present a problem and offer a solution instead of just talking about the sad problem. A lot of people seem to do that and any topic here on RUclips. But I also wanted to add something to what you said you talked about how narcissistic, pastors, manipulate and abuse and families. This is far more prevalent than anyone realizes towards individuals. Individuals who have family. Individuals who try to come to the church and to be involved very easily people who just disappear from the church after being very harmed and no one notices they weren’t family. They were just the quiet weird one who was made out to be more awkward than they even were to be ostracized and then just disappear like you never existed From the church is a very painful experience in addition to what they do to you. These type of pastors create a very toxic culture within their churches so thank you for bringing up this topic. I learned a little bit about to go to church relatively new Christian I haven’t been able to figure out why churches weren’t well with mewith me no matter what I did. it’s very painful to be accused and gossip about and no one notices and everyone just agrees and then you disappear and no one notices and to be treated like you’re crazy like something wrong with you. you’re being accused of things that you’re not doing you can’t ever get to the root of what you actually have going on because no one’s perfect but if you’re being accused of a whole bunch of things that aren’t even true, you can’t figure out what’s even wrong really. And then something wrong with you and they ostracize you and you get worse. I don’t even know how to put, but it’s so insidious and sad.
Thank you for sharing this, I've been through a few, one who even preached about me one Sunday service. It's painful that many churches are no longer safe places to run to..... 🤦🏾♀️🙆🏾♀️😭😭
Yes they are good at "acting" as if they care...just to get info of the attendees & then use it in their pulpits against the attendees when they feel are getting out of their control.....and the mind games with the flying monkeys begins.....
Same thing happened to me from the pulpit numerous times. They are called personal Prophecies and they feel like darts in the hart. Standard operating procedure. I pray for your healing in Jesus name.
@@RobTheTruth ; as someone who was raised in the charismatic church for 33 years (till I got out); I GET IT! The charismatic churches get too carried away with their version of demonology, and are very creepy and weird about it...... However; look at the American feminist movement today, our family court system, fathers being separated from their children just because mom is holding an orchestrated grudge and wanting to live a LAVISH lifestyle with child $upport monies over it! Look at Killary Clinton and all her elitist behavior..... And entire globe of people was made to suffer in 2020 just because ONE drunken old HAG didn't get her turn at being President. And you tell me the Jezebel spirit doesn't exist! When someone gets demon possessed; it's because they are doing things willfully in agreement with those demons.
not only narcissistic and abusive, but wealthy. Our pastor and wife earn £130,000 a year but he stands up there in his jeans and cheap shirt and comes across as a humble person, but we know he isnt, and I AGREE with you 100% that they like attention and throwing their weight around, when things dont go their way. Its like a profession, a career. Ive decided to leave this church and just rely on Christ for everything. Im sick and tired of the power of pastors and how they rob the flock
Finally, some one standing up and telling the truth. I have been an organist for 25 years and believe me, there are many pastors that are so full of themselves and organists have to deal with these people!!!!!! They scream that the scriptures (Acts 20:28). I once had a Lutheran Pastor tell me that even if it was minus 60 degrees outside, he could turn off the church furnace because the Bible gave him full authority. And he was a gay pastor!!!!
My mother, a single mother in the 1960's, had her pastor come to our house and make moves on her. He was in that church for decades and we weren't regular church goers. I now understand why.
Thank you for posting this! I just came out of an abusive church I was a part of for 15 years. The pastor was a covert narcissist. He became a pastor at 25 and that set him off as arrogant to begin with. He always said 25 was to young but God was desperate to get correct doctrine into the community. Red flag right there 🚩 but I was only 15 when I started going so I didn’t see the signs.
Thank you for sharing. I left a cultish church about two years ago, and I'm still picking up the pieces. The guy is on TBN and Daystar. The congregation worships him. When I left horrible things were said about me. They said I was demonized and warned the congregation not to associate with me. I sold my house and moved away from my family to be part of this ministry. I lost my entire support structure, and I nearly lost my faith. Two years later and I'm thinking on joining an Eastern Orthodox church, because Protestant churches are all Pastor centered and Orthodox churches are Sacrament centered.
I hear a lot of people expressing what you did about Eastern Orthodox. They do have a more mature idea concerning leadership where they are firm that people can not discern their own calling into leadership (self-elect themselves). There are also body centered churches - read "Pagan Christianity" by Frank Viola as a third option you might find more inline with scripture.
Good for you get away from demon possessed folks that tried to target you as the "black sheep" at the end of the day you don't belong amongst wolves in sheep's clothing. No you're not part of that clan brother. Blessings! ✌🏻
Thanks, Aaron Walker. I will share this on my Facebook. I believe you. You & I are in the same mind. My entire family are Christian Narcs & borderline personality. I just discovered this 2 years ago. I need you on my team.
You are So spot on. I personally knew one, almost destroyed a whole community. And he is still manipulating and spinning a web of deceit and lies. He is pure filth.
Awesome! Thank you for saying out loud what I felt in my heart, but didn't know how to explain! I would have returned to church if I this wasn't such an epidemic! You expressed the truth 100%.
Very disturbing story told to me at Newfound Baptist Church in Leicester NC! I had heard about a man who drove into a church parking lot not far from where I use to live. This man had attempted to get help from someone in that church rather they told him to get out of their parking lot. Must have been another day than Sunday. Anyway I was told the guy stayed in his car for several hours and not leave; eventually someone went into the parking lot to see why the man was still there and found that he had shot himself to death. The pastor who told me this story is currently the pastor at that same church but was not the pastor at that time but he had heard the story and told me. I thought how could anyone allow that disturbed man not to be shown love and concern where he probably assumed someone there might care. Need less to say that poor man's hopes had to have hit rock bottom as he met with heartlessness! Also the pastor who told me the story acted as though the man was at fault for causing a disturbance which later on I ended up being the target of the very pastor that told me the story. He had, at one point, told me over the phone "it's my time and there is nothing you can do to take that from me" along with throwing scriptures from Peter (can't remember 1 or 2). He got angry with me because I asked questions in front of the congregation and he could not answer them so he retaliated by telling me not to come in there to cause trouble. Eventually he got me to the side before a morning service and said the deacons came to him and asked him to tell me not to ask questions in front of the kids during service. I looked at him and said "I do not answer to you nor anyone else in this church especially you, I done what God has told me to do and I will not keep silent at your command". The questions I asked were about Biblical matters so why was he so offended at them, other than he felt ashamed not able to give answer. Hum very certain he is a narcissistic pastor. Actually I was sent there to test this situation and in so doing I also learned how severely dangerous people sitting under such person can be in a whole mess of trouble! We are told in "1 John 4:1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world." (KJV). Notice the subtile ways they do things because once you become aware of it how can it be subtile?! Cunning, deceptiveness, trickiness, etc. preys on those who are not aware! Please I implore people, seeking to find truth, ask The Holy Spirit for guidance! May God strengthen those who are warning people to be careful to what they listen to and know that you are not alone. :~~~0~~~:
Timewilltell I want to first thank you for sharing your story. You have touched my heart. I have been a victim of the righteous congregation. It destroyed my happiness within that church because I was about to become a new member. The problem was that I was a teen mom and all the children in the church wanted to be around me. I have a gift from God that draws people especially children around me. I genuinely love people and enjoy them so much. I love learning from them and would never judge or disrespect others. I never said or did anything wrong but just being a young mom was an abomination to them. No one even talked to me about my life or what happened. I was treated as if I was going to corrupt the kids and caused problems in the church. One young lady (around 14) told me that she could never sit with me again because I had a child and I could only tell her how to get pregnant. I was devastated. I wanted to speak with her mom to let her know how much I loved and respected her daughter and would never do something like that. I was convicted of this when all I wanted was to find a caring church that me and my daughter could be a part of. I stopped going feeling as if I was totally worthless. My family was full of narcissism and treated me like fresh poop. I know God loves me and that he has a plan for me and my family. We're not the undesirables that my family and so many righteous people claim. Now I am so grateful and I all love people even more than before. I show love with actions and encouragement. I moved to another state away from the narcissistic family. I live my life and kids thank me for not allowing my family and righteous people to hurt them. I'm not a member of a church but I do fellowship with different ones. Blessings to you and your family. 🤗🤗🤗
By you giving the exact name of the church and location of that church, you are gossiping about that church on this forum. In doing so, you are no different than the narcissist and the many games the Narc likes to play with their smear campaigns. Slanderers will not inherit the kingdom of heaven - 1 Corinthians 6:10. You should repent & let go of what ever hard feelings you have for that church.
Thank you very much for this. I’ve been dealing with Jonathan Kleck. I’ve spend my time trying to warn others over his abuse and lies. He’s tried to destroy my family because of his own “doctrine”. He’s on RUclips under Cory Barbee channel and on Kleck files. RUclips has done nothing to help with his abuse toward my family. We have had to file police reports to protect ourselves from his followers that he has whipped into a frenzy to attack us. It’s a long story. Please anyone who reads this warn others!
19:00 OMG! I almost died earlier this year because I've been stuck in a similar, though different, experience. And no one cared except my youngest son, who is still too young to deal with this. The fact that YOU are dealing with this touches me, and it's somewhat healing. Thanks for expressing this. It's impossible to live well without community support, and you're providing that here so thanks again!
This was a very thought provoking video Aaron. Thank you for sharing. It is very imperative that us Christians start addressing the sin that is happening in our churches. God gave us the word for a reason and I very much believe that the Bible holds the framework on how to address and correct these issues. I hope you are doing well and that you have found a congregation that you can call home. God bless.
i will agree on this my husband an American Pastor named Kevin Harris and i am the Filipina wife here in the Philippines..We don't have good relationship but indeed we have 4 children, he stayed with us 4 months in a year the rest he is back in the u.s.a. We fight so bad and him he abuse physically, even mentally to the point that i myself learn how to defend myself..our 4th baby was still in the incubator and i am having cesarean operation as he came back from u.s.a he let me sign the divorce paper, i signed it too..but to think he is a pastor and suppose servant of God ..where is his God, while he is here in the Philippines he has live-in partner..i have to chase him so bad for our financial support..I just can't believe he is a pastor...Forgiveness? Pastor or not but the description he is worse than the non-christian.
I realize that this is an old video by now… And I pray that you are well and continuing in the faith. You are exactly right when you called it a sickness. That’s what iniquity is like. The deviation from scripture is the trespass, and now we are in full on sickness. Sitting in a pew, staring at the back of someone’s head, singing a bunch of songs we don’t know, and then listening for 45 minutes to a lecture on things that we already do know is not fellowship.
Wow! Awesome, my friend and brother in the Lord. How I feel your emotion and pain for others. I went to a church for 10 years, became an elder the last 2 years. The church had two pastors. The covert narcissist pastor did the things you said to subvert and undermine everyone else. He worked people against people and gossiped just enough information to turn people against people and board members against board members. That way everyone was against everyone but everyone thought he was great. He would be in elders meetings and vote against requests for persons to minister outside the church and then go outside the meeting and tell the people that wanted the ministry that he voted for them but others were against it. He would vote against membership telling other elders that the only reason for membership was for the other pastor to brag about how many members he had but the real reason he voted against it was because he wanted to control the church and did not want anyone through membership to have any say in anything. He would promise the other pastor large sums of money to preach and then later tell other board members that the other pastor was greedy. He would act like he was volunteer and let other people in the church believe that and even say he was not getting paid when he was getting his house expenses, vehicle expenses and other expenses paid through a church credit card (including eating out) to the tune of a decent salary for anyone in our area (Over $40K a year). He loved the power more than the money though. At a business outside the church, he would cash checks for a board member who was hiding from the IRS to keep the board member owing him favors. This board member was known around town for foul language and not paying his bills and his employees being thieves. I asked the pastor why he was still a board member but got no answer. Later I would learn he could be controlled by the pastor and that is why he was on the board. This pastor would pay another board member's utility costs for his business with church funds, again to control and to keep him on his side. He hired another board member to work at a business outside the church also. That way the majority of board members owed him something. He eliminated the other ones that did not go along with him. He played everyone against everyone. He would tell me as an elder things against the other pastor. Then when I said it was not right he would go and tell the other pastor that I was against him and had spoken up about these things in question. He bred hate among everyone. He had a side business selling cars and would pay people $100 to sign the titles of the cars before he sold it to the actual seller so that the sell appeared to be a private sale and then he would avoid having to give his buyers warranties for the vehicles he sold them (as is required by state law). He said he loved people and loved God but he was willing to lie cheat and steal. He was a crook through and through. He was so good at it, the best I have ever seen. He would shake people's hands and say, "Bless you" and so everyone was enamored with is personality. He did not like the fact that I did not agree with him so he began to eliminate the ministries that I was in. The final straw for me in his manipulation was when he told me they had talked to my wife and my wife agreed with them against me regarding a decision they were making. I knew then he was lying (I have a great marriage) and I knew they had tried to twist my wife or her words against me and just like Satan going to Eve in the garden or just like the Philistines going to Delilah against Samson these people were using devilish tactics in their manipulation. I resigned as elder and left the church the same day as he did this. After we left the church God had me start studying narcissism in relation to my dad's behavior growing up to help my siblings. I later realized this pastor was a covert narcissists and one of the best I have ever known. He did just what you said, he made us appear like the bad guys while making himself the victim. He worked gossip and words and played people. Looking back I realize he was scheming every time I met with him for lunch. Lying was very easy for him. He lied like crazy and thought nothing of it. My wife and I had many miracles and wonderful things God did in our lives over the years, many proven supernatural events and one they witnessed in our daughter while we went there. Yet when we testified to these things publicly they did not believe us and figured it was luck or something else. I was hurt people did not believe us. Later on God showed me not to be hurt because the reason they did not believe us is because they lie about everything so they think everyone else is lying also. They lie thinking they are doing God a service or in service to their manipulation so they think we were lying giving God glory. I have been gone for the church for 5+ years and I am still like you, I get choked up thinking about what he did and all the people that were damaged. I feel bad for the other pastor who was hurt. Over 100 people have left the church. The other pastor left also. Anyway.....I just want to say your video and testimony and sharing this with us is awesome. We so appreciate you! Keep speaking the truth! God Bless you Brother!
I'm in the process of leaving an abusive church.I went into a deep depression contemplating suicide.The Apostle is my MOTHER.I know she will cut me off but at least I'll be Free...
I Know A Lot Of People Was Ran Crazy n Didn't Know..It Was Come from Mind Control Teaching. I Knew A Person Been Out Of Church Over 20 years And Happy. And Just Do What RIGHT...By Following Her Own Mind. That's The PROBLEM They Don't Want People To Think for Themselves.
@@valerieriggins3184 , you can think for yourself.. but remember God is going to hold everyone accountable for what they knew and chose to do. He has an open book test for everyone. He makes away of escape. His word to those that have repented and believe bring life.. and life more ABUNDANTLY. You will receive discernment, wisdom, conviction and be lead into all truth. That is the job of the holy spirit. But you will not obtain it if you are not his. You come to him on his terms and not MORTAL men. DONT BE DECEIVED LIL CHILDREN.. READ YOUR OWN BIBLE AND OBEY IT TIL THE END.
May God use this video to bless the poor sheep feeling isolated and confused at this moment. I pray to my beloved brethren that you may receive comfort today. May God bless you with His peace. 🙏 “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27
I’m so sorry you endured all you have. It hurts. Thank you Jesus for teaching us wisdom and helping us to stand up against these demonic men trying to slaughter your children. We fight for those children that can’t fight for themselves. All glory to the LORD! All things are possible with Him. You are a watchman. There just don’t seem to be many of us now days. Bless you brother.
Thank you Mr. Aaron Walker for your candor and forthrightness in bringing to light such a prevalent quandary that is existent in so many congregations today. I am a believer. I have grown up in the church. Am in my late 20s and currently am not attending anywhere, despite my continual faith and prayer life. To share my story, I grew up in the church. By nature I am a sensitive individual or an empath, as my mother describes me. I've wondered since the time I was a child why if you were to venture to the mall, or local store, why you would encounter individuals that were kinder and more pleasant than those that sat in church on Sundays. While I know that this isn't an aspect applicable to all churches or pastoral leaders, like you shared, it seems to be nearly 90 percent of pastors, leaders, or parishioners. I moved after college at age 22, and attended three other congregations after leaving my home church. The three ensuing congregations, were run by narcissistic pastors. The first, the pastor admonished the individuals for not attending like they should. In SS and Bible Study, mandated they order the requisite materials, established a dress code, and it was even put in their policies that they could ask someone to leave if they didnt adhere to their discipline. I left there after witnessing a family hurt and preached at from the pulpit. After leaving, I wrote him and the elders a letter expressing my concerns for leaving, thinking they would keep it confidential. Nothing could have been further from the truth. The whole congregation seemed to know about it. At my last church, I attended for three years. It was a younger narcissistic pastor. Everyone there gossiped. My first two years there were fine, but the last year was arduous. One of the leaders was narcissistic. I was involved with a particular ministry in the beginning, but was unable to continue due to various constraints. This angered the leader and he smeared me to the congregation, conveying a host of untruths about me. It was hurtful because it wasnt a friendly church and only a handful would speak to me in three years, but those that had never even spoke to me, would hold a grim welcome from the lies this leader spewed. Though they didnt even know me, they were eager to accept everything the pastor and leader expressed. I havent been to church in two years and dont think I could ever bring myself to attend again, since the hurt was so immense. I do continue to hold onto my Christian faith since childhood. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts. You will never know how much this video meant to me and will keep you in prayer as you strive to reach out to others regarding this problem that is so rampant today.
The more popular pastors are charismatic and charisma is one of the specialties of the overt Narcissist. A humble believe never "lights up the room", so the people actually demand a Narcissist.
I've seen it too where gossip is facilitated in order to get people to leave. Then they are painted as sinful or having problems with authority after they parted from the congregation. People who are not informed of the original disagreement are manipulated into shunning and scapegoating the targeted family.
My wife and I were basically forced out of the church she’s been going to her whole life. We love the people and yet we refused to sign the covenant contract that bound us to obedience serving and giving. We don’t have a problem with obedience to God or giving and serving as the spirit leads. We actually love to give. It was the constant coercive teaching and push toward serving them. Then when we were kicked out it was made like we just left because I’m rebellious. Yeah my heart has been broken and I have been told I’m poisoning my wife and I’m leading my family out among the wolves. It goes on and on. What do to now?
Hey I hope you are over the worst since you wrote this comment. Shame I only found this video now, after also having suffered many years of abuse at the hands of religious leaders. What to do now? First of all, you sound like a very genuine, honest and truthful man. This makes you a wonderful husband (and father if you have kids). Honesty is the most important value. You stood up for the truth even though you got hounded out. You have shown strength, true faith, and real character. I hope you haven't internalized the things that you got told. Instead of "poisoning your wife and leading your family to the wolves", you are leading your wife (and any children) to truth and genuine faith. You are defending them from the wolves. You have saved them from being devoured by the wolves. Don't be heartbroken over what you thought you had at that church. It was an illusion and of demonic origin. The devil sends many illusions. It hurts like mad when we realize that it was an illusion - but once we realize that, it's best not to cry over spilt milk. Leave this den of vipers, I know you got kicked out anyway but turn your back, have nothing more to do with that church or anyone connected to it. Speak the truth about it. The internet is very useful for speaking the truth about an organization. You don't need a church to pray, read the Bible or have a connection to God. Find friends elsewhere, or just be with your wife. Friends are very hard to find nowadays as most people are false and dishonest. Enjoy the freedom from that hellhole and remember: this was the devil's liar, not a house of God.
Thank you for making this video. You spoke truths that needed to be said. Narc Pastors have hurt A LOT of people, who suffer in silence. It is an unfortunate reality that needs to be acknowledged.
Very good video. Yes, I’m convinced my ex-pastor is a Narcissist. It only took me 25 years to realise that and leave. He listened to and spread gossip, created his own fables, was envious of those more successful than himself, strong men were driven out by him till only a handful of women or passive men were left, he was a master or manipulation using guilt, threats and flattery, his congregants worship him and are cold, divided and dysfunctional as a group. Sadly he manipulated my best friend into not marrying someone so she could continue to fulfill his agenda, that was the last straw for me.
This was in my recommended feed to 2 watch and I have been researching this topic for awhile. Completely agree with this. Especially in the Reformed church. Although doctrine is solid, the subtleness of narcissism is harder to detect. UNLESS, someone has had previous church experience or personal experience. Someone in the comments section said something along the lives of no wonder genuine believers are leaving the church... Although we are to not forsake the gathering, its gets very hard dealing with the facade and superficiality of the church. Prayers for all going through this. Lord come quickly.
Was sent this video as I'm wrestling with whether to stay with my church, or whether to confront my arrogant pastor and try to find out if he is for God and his people or for himself. As you say, he makes a great show of his doctorate, his self authored books, his clinical psychologist wife, his healing. There's no fellowship but a quick coffee at the end of a boring lengthy sermon by the pastor. He talks about himself EVERY week and collects money. Where is God here? I'm sick of it.
@@LittleKitty22 he banned me so I've not been there since Sept 2021. He started telling everyone to get the Pfizer jab. Plus always demands money. So I said "Pastor Reg, who do you serve?" Banned me from the building.
oh my gosh have been watching an ex friend who fits this to a T go down the crapper since 2010. It's amazing how people don't believe what is going on when he thinks no one is looking. In return he accuses everyone else of abuse, defamation, and makes legalese threats after he has spent plenty of time actually breaking defamation laws. It's utterly surreal. Your emotion about this is evident and speaks well of you. My heart goes out to you and all the victims of this epidemic.
Thank you for making this video. I became a Christian as an adult after reading the New Testament all the way through. I was especially enamored with the book of Acts & thought I was going to go out & find believers just like that. Ahem. Needless to say, I have really been through the wringer with churches. I've gone from church to church across many denominations & it is just as you say: It is a narcissist-dominated profession. My way of putting it: One Man + One Pulpit = One Ego Writ Large. From my study, I don't even think the one-man-ministry model is even biblical. Rather, a plurality of elders (old men) hovering in the background - moving forward when necessary to teach, or give counsel, etc. - while allowing people to interact in a more natural, familial way like at a family reunion seems to me to be a more workable model. However, in the meantime, we are also working against the social engineering that has broken down the family... So much work needs to be done! God help us all. Restoration.
It's not biblical. the current church model was to stop once Jesus completed His work on Calvary and The Bible completed. I also went church hopping until I finally realized they are all made me very uncomfortable b/c they were HEAVY with strange demonic spirits (narcissistic spirits included) and CHAOS (competition among members, forced family vibes, contradicting and weird traditions and doctrines, constant money extortion, messy drama, etc)
I agree with you! I was just thinking about the 1 man leader model and how other than Jesus being the one to teach and preach where He was (and He is the One Who is perfect and able to teach like this!), really all the disciples and apostles went and taught/preached in 2's or bigger groups.
I always admired my pastor father-in-law. The moment I realized he was a toxic narcissist I sorta went through a grieving process because it was like the man I truly respected was not the actual person I thought I knew. Its almost as if he died to me. I have since cut him from my life and are much happier. I know we only have one family but we also have one appendix and when it starts affecting your health you cut it out.
I like that saying, with the appendix... very true. Forget about the "we only have one family" by the way. Many of us have been horrifically abused by "parents" and the likes. Family are the people who love you, regardless of whether you are related to them or not. Anyone who abuses you, is not your family but the devil in disguise. One has to see things for what they are. It's like the seamonkeys that your username is from (very cute by the way): when the seamonkeys craze started, they were advertized as tiny human like creatures that kids could grow and play with, they were portrayed as smiling little people... kids spent their entire pocket money on these things... what did they get? A bunch of shrimp that either died or overbred. The disappointment was so massive that it was likened to child abuse. Nowadays it's different, they still sell them but now everyone knows they are just shrimp. We have to see things for what they are and not be blinded by advertisements or titles.
![Twenty One Pilots - “The Line” (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/E2Rj2gQAyPA/mqdefault.jpg)
I’m tired of people excusing bad pastor behavior by saying “no church is perfect”....which means, don’t try to hold the pastor accountable and just accept it.
Yep! Accountability is needed & truthfulness, but rarely found nowadays.
You'll have to expect it. The bible says man will let you down. They don't change, infact they get more prideful and have the church plot you as a blacksider and or Jezebel to protect the organisation. There is a very power dark principality working within churches... Witchcraft. They protect those who thithe "well" and have been in church for many years. New members are usually very discerned to spot this...
Some pastors try hide their operand modus, but it's evident and they always slip up during their sermons especially with thithe and faith and also while pushing self development. They even state they want people of influence who can get into schools hospitals etc etc ...and people who can thithe well .... That's why you don't find homeless in the church... We should be inviting groups to church every Sunday, the homeless... But we don't see that .. because they dont thithe and others look down on them .. This is an act of desperation and lack of their own faith God doesn't need us. We need him. They don't stay long. Of course it's not all in church ... But most. Christian churches are not much different to other cults.... And in essence most are organisations. I know a women who had cancer... Her church cell group actually blocked her and rejected her during her illness....covering up things that were done to her. She served at church an everything. But they treated her very poorly.. ALSO, they have actually targets to reach relating to new members and thithe... Very sad indeed
💯
"There is no perfect church" is the statement of an enabler. People use this to excuse the congregants behavior, too. Not every church is like the Corinthian church, and not every church is like the cretian church, as mentioned in Titus 1:12-13 but it seems to be the majority of them that is this way.
Yes! Heard this so many times. Also, the "pastor" saying "I'm just a man" when his sin is exposed.
One thing I learned is that you never, ever tell a pastor about a challenge you are having in your life because they will use this "sin" against you.
Exactly! That or they tell their wives about it who circulate it to all the other wives. It's ridiculous
Pretty much! I have never shared with our pastor that my narcissistic husband who is a deacon in our church has these issues. So afraid that he wouldn’t believe me or tell me to pray more etc. Since the COVID hit I have pulled away from attending our church that I have gone to for almost 40 yrs because I cannot handle how my husband will treat me at home so awful many times and then in church he is Mr Holly Jolly as I call it. And our pastor has never asked me where am I or how am I? God only knows what my husband tells him!
@@crystalbush5273 or their kids and others in the congregation... For prayer of course
@@deborahcollins1100 glad you don't need to know. You already can guess. You can keep your own sense of goodness and identity and do what you are going to do. I hear you and I'm still ok with my own sense of what is right and good and I know what I am going to do.
@@KJ-lb4tj LoL, exactly...only for prayer. It's funny how the pastor and their associates "enjoy" spreading gossip about the faults of others OR use it as a "teaching point" during a sermon BUT when the pastor is caught in a fault...all church members are expected to be quiet, remain loyal and respect the privacy of him & his family. Any church member who even mentions the faults of a pastor (for any reason) gets shunned by the congregation automatically
No wonder the world is repulsed. No wonder genuine Believers are fleeing the church in droves...
Yes
@lion Heart the sway of the Kenites.
Ezekiel 34 gives a summary of the relationship between the false shepherds and the sheep. People are hungry for the green pastures, the Word of God. People wander for hunger and thirst. So many churches are in bad shape considering the watchman on the wall is asleep or nowhere to be found.
So sad
This is sad 😞! Lord have mercy on us!
You are spot on. My Dad's a pastor. I can't even go to his church because I know how he really is. You did a brave thing by making this video. Thank you
Amen Wendy, thanks so much for sharing this. My wife and I are just healing from trying a brick and mortar church after a decade. Prayers for you that you’re healing and have found some fellowship. Blessings
Grew up having everyone gush to me about how wonderful of a person and a pastor my father was. They didn't see what I saw - a narcissist who doesn't see or feel anything for anyone but himself.
My mom too. Everyone saw 'beautiful, selfless saint" but huge unpredictable temper, no patience mixed with uncontrollable, inconsostance violence and temper for no apparent reason. My mom had mental illness...perhaps some narcissism. We'll never know.
As an adult, I feel bad for her but she did damage to a lot of people. I don't think she could help it and I think she did the best she could but WOW! To the receiver of her wrath, it was so cruel!
@@embee5375 And everyone saw you as the ungrateful, rebellious child, right? ME TOO.
Yes. You are correct. I am an organist/ pianist for 40 years. At least now i can spot them. I have walked away from several churches. Imagine that....a demon leading the flock.
jesus is a demon
A Demon leading the flock. Yes indeed. I had two dreams the pastor at my last church was a shark swimming around trying to eat people. Yuck. Im no longer a member anywhere and my relationship with God is on fire. I teach in the local jail and seek out drug addicts and broken people on the street. They have nothing left to prove or loose. Its actually refreshing.Jesus is our cover not man
*DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT DEMONS!*
A secret and scientific study by a secret division of the university of the Holy Catholic Church at Vatican-city, secretely revealed that only three to four point two percent of demons are possibly full blown narcissist. That's significantly less than amongst earthly mortals!
@Light House wow sorry to hear this happened to you I know a couple that just left their churchy three years ago and they were totally shunned I had some exposure as a child and a little more as an adult and I seen some demonic stuff in there myself it's not a physical building anyway but rather a spiritual one we who are born of God spirit shalom
@@thehurricane218 aww, get a grip. You did not read the post correctly.
unfortunately, the people who need to hear this are under the spell of the narcissist
Aaaammmeeennnn
Let’s not forget the beta narcissists who are in the church family.
Absolutely 💯
Oh really... what about the people that realised this and left the church to find somewhere else to worship, not led by a narcissistic sheep in wolves clothing 🤔
They are flying monkeys. They enjoy it.
If one visits a church and the parking spaces that are closest to the front doors are not reserved for the handicap, elderly or expecting mothers, but instead are reserved for the "senior pastor" and "first lady", then that's probably a bad sign.
No, that's definitely a bad sign.
I am Canadian and I wasn't familiar with the term "first lady" until now. I have never gone to a church with a "first lady" as if the pastor is the President. My buddy Steve is a pastor and I have observed him over time. I am considering joining his church. The problem is the good guys like him have to deal with the other guys because they are often in the same denominational / association circles. My ex-pastor happened to be very amillenial and didn't believe in the Tribulation or that anything was really "end times". I am not pre-trib - I happen to be post-trib - whatever - but he would go on and on making fun of pre-trib people. The problem is that if we are near the Tribulation he is in deep trouble and I think he knows it deep down.
Another bad sign is when the female leaders (like you see on TV) are dolled up like dogs dinners wearing a ton of make up, elaborate styled hair and even signs of cosmetic surgery. Someone with a true love of God is not vain and don't parade themselves in silver and gold.
Lloyd Tucker omg!!!
Ha that was the case with the church group I recently left. He even had a sign up to make sure no one took his park.
My narcissistic ex-husband was the clergyman of our congregation when I left him because he was verbally and emotionally abusive. It was so disheartening to realize that the shepherd of the flock was the wolf in sheep’s clothing; and was a modern-day Pharisee.
I'm not a believer anymore, I left the church over ten years ago. Corruption among leadership is one of the main reasons I left. But I noticed a lot of pastors are highly charismatic and great entertainers but they're ignorant of the scriptures and don't play a much of a teaching role. I think a big problem is the congregation consists of people who are easily manipulated and also ignorant of the scriptures themselves. Unless they're taking a verse out of context to push a political agenda. The young adult's discipleship program (Masters Commission) at the church I was raised in was led by a narcissist who was sleeping with the young women in the program who didn't have father figures in their lives. Seeing that firsthand and other abuse is why I just don't even believe God exists.
Amen the Bible said it would be this way!
hi lorraine im very interested about your story, for personal spiritual guidance.
@@littlelegs4563Hi Little Legs, Please do not leave Christ Jesus for what others do wrong. We are all sinners needing grace. That doesn’t excuse what we see in many churches today or people in general. I believe most pastors are not even saved. Most are hirelings that never even preached against sin ONCE in a while. Because they weren’t living right other. There are some good ones out there. Jesus said it would get bad int he last days and many would apostatize from the faith, that can mean leaving the faith (as it sounds like you did because of others) in getting hurt, or not living the faith as many pastors are not committed and got into ministry as a career or nepotism because their Dad was a preacher or pastor. Please do not take this out on the Lord who has no fault. I don’t go to church but love my Saviour for what He did for me. God’s word is still God’s word and it is true. I love you in Jesus. I left a few churches over the years and my heart bleeds for people that get dismayed because of this great falling away but please do not become that statistic on the other end of the spectrum. God Bless!
@@pre-tribrapturetrueorfalse4124
Have you ever been to a Calvary Chapel Church?
I was almost homeless and my pastor of 15 years did nothing to help me. He recommended I call another church close to me. Broke my heart.
DON'T Feel Alone...Many Was Dogged Out...It Will Either Make U Strong n Be Delivered Forever or Mentally n Physically Kill U! I Founded Myself n Very Self Satisfied. What Devil Intended To Destroy ONLY Cause U From Following LIES!
@@valerieriggins3184 Preach
Sorry to hear that!
@life_asweknowit888 Ty ❤️ He wasn't really my pastor.
@@tiffanyjohnson1676 oh good!
Many pastors don't come to serve, they come to be served. They usually want at least 10% of your gross pay too.
This gentleman is spot on. If Pastors have no humility, then they shouldn't be Pastors at all. He's right, there are 90% of pastors are often narcisstic. When the pastor is narcisstic then their congregation is narcisstic. This is why I stay out of churches just like I stay away from bars.
House church - or organic church (I hate the phrase but it is what people are calling it)
Thanks so much for explaining this. My boss is a pastor. He owns a community mental health company. All these negative things go in there. Gossip, playing people against each other, verbal abuse, using us by overworking us. I've only been there 2 months and I'm quitting tomorrow. He can yell and scream but I'll walk out! I refuse to be abused.
U Smart n Strong Minded...Many Don't Have That.
@@valerieriggins3184 i left in December
@@BB-xx3dv so they can play with peoples minds. I’m at another job and my current boss is abusive and stalks me.
My late father pastored for many years. Pastors, in general, are in love with their own voice. They are very accustomed to people listening to them "holding forth." When my sister attended a church college, it was known across campus that ministerial students were the most aggressive dates and the girls had to keep an eye the hands of these guys because they were like an octopus. Since my father was a pastor, I was acquainted with more ministers than most I can't tell you how many of them had scandals regarding money, sex, or both. My father never had a scandal that got out but that was because he wasn't caught. I know of at least two children he molested. One was me.
That sounds about right! Most abusers never get caught because there are so many narcissists in law enforcement, courts, other authorities or anywhere higher up, and they always, ALWAYS, support each other. Birds of a feather flock together.
How are you doing now? Are you okay?
Omg.honey I feel your agony to my soul.have you gone therapy?
Oh lord…. So sorry for what you went through. My Narc father was also a pastor, A demon in sheep’s clothing. He abused me so much physically, I used to almost pass out. He truly was demon possessed
I'm so sorry for what you went through. Cant imagine the trauma and the spiritual abuse on top of that. I pray hope and healing for you. 💛
@@stephm5877 ,, Exactly. When I went to therapy at age 40, spirituality and the sexual abused was all mixed up. Intellectually, I knew it wasn't the same thing, but emotionally, it had a huge. It was years before I could say the word, God.
Narcissism is prophetic : People will be lovers of themselves. God said "They run, but I did not send them. "
Wow I never connected that verse with narcisism before, good point!
The specific verse is:
2 Tim 3:1-9
right in the middle of those verses, it says: "having a form of godliness but denying it's power" !
If we know the WORD it will set us free!
You make more sense than all the comments made here
!!!!
Discernment is needed to know them .
I agree, most pastors are bullies and then cry about getting hate mail.
"When a man's ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him."
Bahaha 😂 so true...specially in "social medias"...they are the "victims" 😅
11:20 "It is a sickness." It breaks my heart. I cannot stomach most churches. Even, the so-called good ones. I am not perfect, therefore I do not look for perfection, but I must have honesty and we can go from there. It's so phony, judgemental and cliquish. If you don't play the game in the church they will run you out--on behalf of the pastor.
It is actually high level demons...
Sooooo true!! The more legalistic their doctrines, the more narcissism there is! Control is a huge issue.
Totally totally indeed. The modern pharissees of society!
@@life_asweknowit888 what do you mean by “legalism”?
Absolutely…all about control. Jesus Christ is all about freedom and Heaven for all eternity. Come quickly Lord Jesus.
Galatians 5:13
You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh ; rather, serve one another humbly in love.
What's interesting is that it's also the opposite.
In these nondenominational churches the pastor can become the one who creates and enforces their own doctrines and legalism.
How does this video not have a million likes ????
No one as Brave as Aron
Most people are narcs now
Christians worship "Pastor" and they become like the Gods they worship.
Dastardly XK120 because only a few of us have woken up and had our eyes opened
@@CrumbsDM Part of the control comes from;
Romans 13 NIRV - Obey Those in Authority - All of you - Bible ...
www.biblegateway.com › passage
Obey Those in Authority - All of you must obey those who rule over you. There are no authorities except the ones God has chosen. Those who now rule.
A church used to be the place where we were granted protection against the devil, but this days it is like the devils residence. Those pastors will pay big time, the day will come when they will have to answer to the Son of Man Himself!
Granted protection against the devil, that's why y'all are attracted to these narcissistic preachers. You have the wrong idea of what church is 🤦🏾♂️
Very well said & soooo true.
The bible use to say the Lion will lie down with the Lamb, it now says the wolf will lie down with the lamb.This is whats up the wolf's are now the shepards.You better know.
I am in tears that God is exposing this..for years I endured church trauma untill I just refuse to go and they blame us...
Totally agree. They will have A LOT to answer & the lost souls that came out from the church.....quite sad!
I've only met one humble pastor in my life. Narcissist pastor's seem to get all the Codependents or weak people. I was one, and I did not know anything about narcissism or none of that until I did my own research.
I met one and sadly his wife will cause him to fail!
Seen the codependents following the pastor around out of fear and anxiety. My pastor once told a suicidal man to stop whining like her grandkids. She also told a meth addict he was a dog. I work with drug addicts,, suicidal people and am passionate about it. She once told me she could crush a couple of people if she wanted to. I learned to follow God elsewhere. Incredible issue here. Its best to leave and follow God anywhere he Leeds
Knowledge is power.The money you the further you.God's people parish for lack of knowledge.
I feel your pain, my husband and I were treated abysmally by our church. It's a very long story that I don't want to get into online but we're very wary about attending any kind of church now, it's not worth the heartache.
Im afraid to attest that you are in the correct! Thappens to baby or lazy Christians that don't bother to investigate for the truth about things, for the most part....but when you grow spiritually you begin to see the truth for what it is...& no one can tell you otherwise cause the Spirit of Truth will bear witness with you & you just know....
You nailed it on so many points. My journey to learning about narcissism started when my pastor raged and threw us out of the church, not for sin, but for disagreeing with him, and then tried to convince everybody we were fakes. As a person who has suffered emotional and psychological abuse at the hand of a narcissist and his flying monkeys, I understand your tears. This indeed has to stop.
Check out Pastor Stacey Shiflett's book, Wolves Among Lambs. He's awake to this epidemic.
Your intermittent silence speaks volumes.
Thank you for this. We were just abused by a pastor here in San Diego who we confronted for abusing numerous families in the church. We have been isolated and slandered by the pastor, and the other church goers who were our "friends" shunned us. Everyone will reap what they have sown from the greatest to the least. We served a 48 page paper to the congregation outlining the abuses. Within months it was revealed that two of the pastors were having affairs and the church congregants are leaving in droves for various reasons. God is removing their lampstand in judgement but it's been a horrible horrible experience going through this.
You mentioned the problem of "pastor worship". The Lord said "Take heed that no man deceive you. For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many." In my opinion, a person doesn't have to flat out claim to be the Lord, but when they start to take on a role of mediator between God and people, they are starting to fulfill Matthew 24:4 & 5.
Lloyd Tucker
Yesss!! Teach..not preach.
I used to be under a narcissistic pastor. Everything you’re saying is 💯 true. Thank you for your boldness!
we need this boldness in the world
Society is set up this way for these types of people to thrive and step on everyone else. Those that have a heart and are empathetic are literally not acknowledged.
exactly, its society and not just church
I've been saying this for years, based upon personal experiences. All people need to do is open their eyes.
Cindy Varner yea, notice how no one listens?
@@Rain9Quinn It has to take a pandemic and lockdowns to really reflect and people all at once coming together to fight for truth and justice.
Thanks so much for posting this well informative video of Narcissistic ministers who never want to confess but rather give excuses and cover up their wrongs.
Yep! They are full of pride & refused to apologize. Only when found out "maybe"...but even so....they have what is called the narcissistic injury and seek to threat or blackmail I mean the ones that have extreme but extreme pride & basically have no hope maybe of true repentance in their hearts at all! Evil in the pulpits indeed! 🤔
I worked at my former church briefly, and you're right - these narcissists don't confess. Instead, they blame it on Satan. I learned that there was a cover-up over not only adultery but sexual abuse as well. Rather than taking even a hint of ownership, they maintained that it was the fault of the victims. (The church was being sued only a few weeks into my employment.) The "poor victimized" church leaders were "so good at spreading the Word of God that Satan used those weak and immature Christians to attack them." I ended up quitting and leaving the church. There was just so much evil that these people perpetrated it was heartbreaking.
No wonder so many good people don't believe in Christianity.
Victoria Anne
And many Christians avoid churches and other Christians
Cause they are sane, normal and not stupid.
You believe in Christianity because of the Bible not a church
Oh my heavenly father this is so wrong but so true. I broke down in tears after watching this video. Here are hurting people in these churches who need love, fellowship and guidance and they are being abused by the last person they thought would abuse them. It's such a spiritual warfare going on in churches and theses so called pastors don't even see that they are the reasons that people aren't coming to Christ. What an oxymoron!
OH They Know...They Don't Care! It's A Money Business.
Yes, unfortunately they alienate & scare away God's own real white sheep 🐑
With their "scare tactics" pathetic scare tactics & very demonic in nature. All about control & manipulation.
@@valerieriggins3184I don't think it's about money, only, it's about power, there's no one who can be more powerful to the mind and soul of a bunch of people than a pastor, some people feel pleasure by using power.
There's only one Pastor believers need to follow, our good shepherd and Lord Jesus Christ.
He will never fail you. He will never disappoint you.
Trust in him alone.
Christian leaders can make mistake, they can be wolves in sheep's clothing or not even really Christians.
Do not judge God or his church by the evil deeds of fallen, sinful men.
Fix your eyes on Jesus, the starter and finisher of your faith if you are truly in him.
Don't let the devil steal your hope of salvation through men who did you wrong.
Try house church.
“Career Christians” wow that is so true and very sad.
They are good at curriculums and church "memberships" aka their "loyalty membemships", but lack tremendously soul growth and true character that ACTUALLY takes REAL ACCOUNTABILITY! Something narcissists don't know how to....aka clean the mess in "The house of God"....
This Video Is 7 Years Old & Significantly Valid For Me To See As Tho It Was Just Posted 🤯 Thank You God And Thank You For Posting 🙏🏽
You’re absolutely correct!! I’ve seen Pastors use God’s name to place fear in people so that they neglect the ability to think for themselves. It’s sad
Forget that, thats why you better know God for yourself.
It's called "mind control" or "MK Ultra" for cecular terms. Which is plain ABUSE!
Very sad indeed!
I backslided in 2014 and lost my mind. God has given me my prayer life back because he is good. He made you make this video for me
Thank God. Hold Fast; keep the course; stay close to Jesus.
It is possible you backslid right into Jesus. Perhaps losing your mind was a blessing to change your direction. Perhaps it was temporary. Don't be too hard on yourself, and see the reply below: hold fast, keep the course, stay close to Jesus.
I can tell that your heart is in your effort to expose this, and I'm very grateful for your effort. I'll be praying for you. My ex-husband was a "Christian" narcissist who wreaked havoc in my life for 20+ years before I finally left. He was quite fond of the pastor of our church who tended to be abrupt and no-nonsense to the detriment of whoever he was dealing with, including my interaction with him. It is only recently that my eyes are coming open to the fact that narcissism does indeed extend into the pulpit. We live in such a discouraging age. Come soon, Lord Jesus.
Amen Sister. My wife and I totally identify with your comments. Thanks so much for sharing. We just left another Narcissist church after not going to brick and mortar church for almost a decade, would love to hear what your doing for fellowship now if you don’t mind sharing. Anyway, yes come quickly Lord Jesus!
My X-husband is a pastor and he was so abusive . He has everyone fooled and when I left him all the other churches slandered me (flying monkeys) and believed his lies, I don't need a mediator between me and Jesus.
Jesus alone is the good Shepherd, not any person!
So true!
Jesus told us that He is the True Shepherd and that there would be many false shepherds but that His sheep would not follow them. Pastor means shepherd and Jesus is the only Pastor I follow. "My sheep hear My voice and I know them and they follow Me."
Amen🕊️
@@grantdavis5992 amen......................😊💜
Poimen Greek word translated as shepherd and pastor in the New Testament.
Jesus said, “there shall be one fold and ONE shepherd.” John 10
Someone will say, but what about Ephesians 4:11? Paul said, “he gave some as pastors (plural)”
Who said?
Jesus said “one pastor.” Same Greek word.
PASTOR JESUS: Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.
And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.
I always ask myself, do I see humility in whoever is preaching. Also, are the approachable? I don't elevate any person who is at the pulpit. I have the same Bible as them and God promises to guide me to all truth.
they are great at faking....
God doesn't live in temples made by men. It's in the bible. But you are His temple. You are the temple of The Holy Spirit. Nowadays it's difficult to find sound people in their minds & their sound doctrines. But just read your Bible & yes the Spirit of Truth will guide you personally into ALL truth (you need to know....) blessings! ✌🏻
If only you knew the full extent of what you are saying. I served as Medical Missionary. When I returned to the U.S. I traveled as a Locum Tenens Anesthesia Provider, traveling around the U.S. filling in for a month here and there temporarily filling in at hospitals until they could hire a permanent Provider. We always attended Evangelical Churches while traveling. Almost without exception, because the Pastors knew I was bound by confidentiality they would ask me to stay after the service, take me into their private office and confess to me their sins, almost always adultery. This served to relieve their conscious, knowing that I would shortly be gone, carrying their secrets with me. As you say they were all Narcissists, I sensed no repentance, only an opportunity to off load their sins. I listened without comment. These men were not seeking counsel, they only wanted to get it off their chests to make them feel better, notice I said to make themselves feel better. A true sign of a narcissist. They did not ask for prayer or guidance. They had not sought forgiveness from the women or their husbands, Nor had they contacted their District Superintendent as is mandated by Church Policy.
Growing up, my local Pastors were attempting to force me to join their ministry and took me into their confidences, and told me (gossiped) about all of the sins of the Congregants. Things I did not need to know as a young college age man. They also revealed to me the illegal finances they practiced in the Church (people did not know it, but they privately owned the Church Property and solicited donations to build it. I finally searched the public records and found out that if something happened to them, the ownership of the Church went to their minor son (who later, went on to work in the hierarchy of Benny Hinn), and that the Church Board they set up was a shame, the real Regulating Church Board that they put on the State Documents, consisted of their family members scattered around the U.S. and they conducted a phone Board Meeting of their family once a year to meet State Regulations.
The Bible says, in Roman 3:10: "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one." referring to what is written in the Psalms. They do not seek repentance, because that would call for them to resign. What would they do for a job. They have no other skills than manipulation (maybe they could sell used cars or real estate).
That is an amazing but dark testimony. Not surprised to hear it at all.
Confidentiality because you are a missionary or a medical professional?
I️ just came out of a church like that! Found out the hard way I️m married to a covert narc. Unbelievable pain.
Career pastors , try Celebrity pastors. It's sad.
No one in the Bible head the title of Pastor.
I've seen this happen all the time and have had my own experiences with this. The classic is being told you have a demon which happened to me once and would be brushed aside and told I'm dividing the body like you say. I've left 3 churches in 7 years and in between have gone years without going to church even though I do want to fellowship genuinely. It reminds me of what's written in the bible how in the last days people will run to and fro for the truth but will not find it because it's hard to find truth in a church where the pastor is more concerned about his control than the gospel. Thankyou for your video, you're good at them and should do more if you think it's what God would have you do? 😊
Simone, good post. Stick to the Word of God on your own, especially the New Testament and the Lord Himself will reveal all of His truth to you. God bless you.
I got this told too, that there must be demons around to make people abuse me. Left me terrified for years and resulted in me asking other churches for help (the church elder who told me that said they don't do exorcisms at that church) only to get told I was a nutcase and should see a shrink! Took me until recently to realize it's not me that has a demonic problem but them! The church elder by the way claimed only certain churches can do exorcisms. This is in contradiction to the Bible. Jesus said anyone who is a Christian can drive out demons. He also drove out many demons and admitted that evil forces/demons exist. I suppose none of the ministers I spoke to has ever read the Bible...
Have you considered house church?
One of my daughters is an covert evil, demonic dangerous narcissist. And she protects herself by being religious.
sylvestina 53, poet/writer. So typical
sylvestina 53, poet/writer. Thanks for mentioning DEMONIC - so true!
My narc boss hides behind acting Christian
@@dillonnj45l.18 mine too!!! so annoying
Mine too.
So many problems with pastors and the way church is run. You are right on with so many of your points. I don’t know if its really 90% but its high. Even the ones with good hearts and good intentions can still have major issues within the church now that its run as a business. We have gotten SO FAR from what church is supposed to be, its really super sad. I’ve had to say no to joining churches simply on the basis of all the things they want you to promise and sign to be a “member”. These leaders claim to have authority to impose their rules and their ways but it doesn’t come from God. All our manmade institutions and inventions only serve to undermine what God intended for the church to be. Theres so many problems, and turning pastoring into a profession is definitely one of the root problems. A pastoral degree doesn’t make a person qualified, its more likely to puff up and create an entitlement attitude, as if their position was somehow earned or deserved and commands respect. Jesus chose uneducated fishermen for a reason. How do people, congregations, and leaders run churches in ways so contrary to the Bible and yet they don’t see it?? It baffles me and makes me sick. I’ve seen pastors just like you talk about cause all sorts of harm and problems and outright lie. People like that give Christians a bad name and will be judged severely for harming God’s flock. I do wonder how many of these narcissists are actually saved and how many realize or don’t realize the harm they are doing...
Pagan Christianity - by Frank Viola - also available on audible :0)
I would say atleast 90% of pastors are narcissists if not more
The Word of God calls them enemys of the cross.Also wolves in sheeps clothing false teachers truce breakers and Babylon.
From my experience it's 100%. Never met a church minister of any kind (pastor, vicar, priest etc) or Jewish Rabbi or even Jewish Dayan (religious judge) that wasn't extremely narcissistic and demonic. I even had an experience where it was as obvious as watching a horror movie - vicar screamed the place down, got red in the face, started foaming at the mouth while spewing hatred towards me and threatening me... yikes, even now eight years later I shudder. He is best buddies with my stalker of 20 years who has committed a number of violent crimes including murder and r@pe... no surprise there.
Many of them know, but don't give a darn! They are there only for the applause, clout, money and the using of their selfish desires. Hired demon possessed individuals casting spells on the attendees bewitching them & gaslighting them & their realities....
We just left a church where the pastor was a toxic authoritarian. No accountability he and one of the trustees handled the church finances as a personal checking account. When asked about it, the pastor would get defensive and say everything is above board, creates silos, and would run anyone who would hold him accountable. Then preach a two series on why the other person is wrong and walking away from God by leaving his church.
I can spot a narrsacist almost immediately. So when i walk into a church, and the pastor is preaching nonsense, I point it out to him in front of the congregation. Then i leave. I have no respect for men who twist the scriptures. My loyalty is to Jesus not the pastor he is just a man with sinful tendencies like myself. His title does not make him superior to the congregation.
Amen. I reminded my pastor he was just a fallible human like the rest of us. Just to shake his belief in his mini-pope status.
Be encouraged you are a voice in the wilderness. My personal opinion is that there are a massive amount of so called Christians who may have a rude awakening on judgement day. Again that's just my opinion. If we are fueled by hatered and fear the root cause is a form of evil. Thank you for your courage. Many are called but few are chosen.
There has been a great rude awakening happening since the year 2020 I would say...if not a little earlier than that!
I believe so also sadly.
SHINE YOUR LIGHT. Speak the Truth. Hold the Torch of Yahweh high my brother. Much Power to the TRUTH you are Speaking. Peace and Love to you and yours :-)
I didn't find out about a Jezebel or what a Narcissist was until I wanted started to follow Christ , and its been a eye opener to know what you are up against... .all praise to The Most High for revealing this !
You are so right about them wanting praises. I’ve seen this in several churches, It would be so painful sitting in church while at least 15-20 mins of the service was dedicated to giving praise to how awesome some leader was. Also there was a practice of letting a pastor leave one church in one area, usually in another state, and go to another church after having been involved in some sin. I’ve seen this across denominations. Another thing I’ve seen in churches is cliques and creating a heirarchy of believers based on how much money and time a person puts into the church, often this also has to do with socioeconomic status. Somehow this was translated to being a more faithful believer.
it's exactly the same at synagogues. I got treated abysmally because I was poor at the time. Got told I'm not good enough, don't deserve a Jewish husband, got membership of the synagogue denied, gossip got spread about me allegedly being a loose woman, got told I'm so stupid, uneducated, deprived, lazy. All of this started after it came out that I was poor. Prior to that, when everyone at the synagogue thought I was rich (I'm actually from a wealthy background so dressed well, only got poor after having had everything stolen), they spread rumors that I was so intelligent, clever, well educated, smart etc and the men fell over themselves for wanting to marry me.
It's pathetic!
Thank you for your sincerity & insight into this truth. I have cried a river of tears over personal hurt from my pastor. I have remained silent & prayed. But I know, my body is keeping score because I continue to suffer in silence.
I wholeheartedly agree with this message. I generally do not get along with most pastors for this reason. In fact, I left a church back in 2009 because of a pastor with NPD. I didn't know it at the time, but he was the straw that broke the camel's back and the one who inspired me to do extensive research on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. This was after years of experiencing narcissists for most of my childhood and a good portion of my adulthood. Excellent post. We have to be soooooo careful with pastors nowadays. A good question to ask is "Do I want to do life with this person/with this ministry?" I believe this is a crucial question. The biggest narcissists I have ever known have been within the confines of church. No exaggeration.
Exactly I agree 100%. I was raised by a narcissist and found about almost a dozen different churches in 20 years most of them are. I have also done extensive research. My wife and are thinking about doing a similar video. Pray for us and God bless!
@@discernmentformypeople6598 over the past twenty years I've been involved with 4 different churches and 4 ministries. There was only one that doesn't try to control people and that church is a little worldly. I could go on with all the nonsense I witnessed and endured. This is a real issue and it is difficult to find solid churches especially when one regularly reads their Bible and has a relationship with Jesus. Once someone has that for themselves then the truth is always revealed.
I came across your video and I will have to agree with you. I'd also like to share my story. I grew up in the Conservative Holiness movement. It's probably one of the more strict groups of denominations out there. It generally consists of Bible Methodists, Pilgrim Holiness, Bible Missionary, Allegany Wesleyan, etc. They usually all share strict regulations mainly pertaining to outward appearance. When I was a child, we attended a "Wesleyan Holiness" church. A new pastor came in and all was well until he greeted myself, my siblings and my mother at the door on Sunday morning and wondered where our father was? My mother informed him that my father had to work at the hospital on that Sunday (which wasn't really the norm because he was able to be off on most Sundays). This did not sit well with the new pastor and things deteriorated quickly. First, he told my father that he could no longer play his trombone on the platform, but that he would have to sit on the first pew instead with his back to the congregation. Next, he slowly removed my father and mother from the song schedule and then he withheld their Sunday school booklet material. I guess thinking this did not get the job done at forcing them out, he resorted to public verbal abuse from the pulpit. He mentioned that food we had donated to them, had been thrown in the trash, he made fun of my mothers piano playing even going as far as to bash on the piano keys during a sermon. The straw that broke the camels back finally occurred one Sunday morning after my uncle had died a very tragic death. I was very close to my uncle and had witnessed some of the aftermath of his death and I still have emotional scars from that to this day. Another family had also suffered a death in the church at the same time. Our family, as well as the other family, sent thank you cards to the church because people from the church came to support us at the viewing of our uncle. As was the custom, the pastor would read the cards publicly that were sent to the church. He read the thank you card from the other family and once again expressed his sympathy to them. When he came to our card (and I will use another last name for privacy), he said the following from the pulpit, "And as for the Thomas family, I don't know what happened to their card, I think I threw it in the trash" and then he laughed. I will never forget that feeling as a kid. I was crushed and just destroyed. He chose instead of attempting to help heal us, to simply twist the verbal knife all because my father worked on Sunday at a hospital. It has been 26 years, but I tracked him down finally and I'm going to mail a letter to him mainly asking why he did what he did and explaining how I felt, and also saying that I forgive him. Its emotional baggage I have held for a while and at least for me, I won't be responsible for anything when I stand before Christ. I have received advice though that this mans reply may not be very kind and if it isn't, I am sending both my letter and his to their conference president.
As the son of a pastor, I must disagree with you. At least 98% of pastors are narcissistic, and abusive. I would also include, obnoxious, pretentious, stubborn, scientifically illiterate, and woefully unqualified to be a counselor of any kind, a position which is bestowed upon them no matter their lack of qualifications.
Preach
😂
“Career Christians”, love it. You have no idea how close your thoughts are to my own to the extent of pastors’ sermons being the centre of attention to the extreme detriment of true fellowship. I’ve been contemplating a total revision of the entire Sunday church service format away from having the sermon and live band performance as the mainstay. Really appreciated everything you said here. And yes I’ve experienced narcissistic abuse from a “pillar of the church”, he was one of my best friends. In fact I’m almost certain that I’ve ID’d him not just as a covert malignant narcissist, but an actual psychopath, which is a first for me, because on two occasions he physically endangered my life while we were skiing and seemed to have no remorse. Kind regards.
I really appreciate how you present a problem and offer a solution instead of just talking about the sad problem. A lot of people seem to do that and any topic here on RUclips. But I also wanted to add something to what you said you talked about how narcissistic, pastors, manipulate and abuse and families. This is far more prevalent than anyone realizes towards individuals. Individuals who have family. Individuals who try to come to the church and to be involved very easily people who just disappear from the church after being very harmed and no one notices they weren’t family. They were just the quiet weird one who was made out to be more awkward than they even were to be ostracized and then just disappear like you never existed From the church is a very painful experience in addition to what they do to you. These type of pastors create a very toxic culture within their churches so thank you for bringing up this topic. I learned a little bit about to go to church relatively new Christian I haven’t been able to figure out why churches weren’t well with mewith me no matter what I did. it’s very painful to be accused and gossip about and no one notices and everyone just agrees and then you disappear and no one notices and to be treated like you’re crazy like something wrong with you. you’re being accused of things that you’re not doing you can’t ever get to the root of what you actually have going on because no one’s perfect but if you’re being accused of a whole bunch of things that aren’t even true, you can’t figure out what’s even wrong really. And then something wrong with you and they ostracize you and you get worse. I don’t even know how to put, but it’s so insidious and sad.
Thank you for sharing this, I've been through a few, one who even preached about me one Sunday service. It's painful that many churches are no longer safe places to run to..... 🤦🏾♀️🙆🏾♀️😭😭
Yes they are good at "acting" as if they care...just to get info of the attendees & then use it in their pulpits against the attendees when they feel are getting out of their control.....and the mind games with the flying monkeys begins.....
Same thing happened to me from the pulpit numerous times. They are called personal Prophecies and they feel like darts in the hart. Standard operating procedure. I pray for your healing in Jesus name.
In the church I was at it was always 'the devil got in him' or she has a 'Jezebel spirit' or ' he's in rebellion'
Lol. Black churches be like why you disobeying the leader.....but in reality it's them
Projection. Pastor (or priest or whatever it is) accusing his victims of what's really true of him (the pastor).
Just no such thing as a Jezebel spirit totally made up
@@RobTheTruth ; as someone who was raised in the charismatic church for 33 years (till I got out); I GET IT! The charismatic churches get too carried away with their version of demonology, and are very creepy and weird about it...... However; look at the American feminist movement today, our family court system, fathers being separated from their children just because mom is holding an orchestrated grudge and wanting to live a LAVISH lifestyle with child $upport monies over it! Look at Killary Clinton and all her elitist behavior..... And entire globe of people was made to suffer in 2020 just because ONE drunken old HAG didn't get her turn at being President. And you tell me the Jezebel spirit doesn't exist!
When someone gets demon possessed; it's because they are doing things willfully in agreement with those demons.
Lol and all that is made up nonsense
not only narcissistic and abusive, but wealthy. Our pastor and wife earn £130,000 a year but he stands up there in his jeans and cheap shirt and comes across as a humble person, but we know he isnt, and I AGREE with you 100% that they like attention and throwing their weight around, when things dont go their way. Its like a profession, a career. Ive decided to leave this church and just rely on Christ for everything. Im sick and tired of the power of pastors and how they rob the flock
Not to mention the generational wealth generated by pastors handing down their churches to their unqualified children.
Thanks for posting this video and sharing the facts.
I worked for one. He fired me for an unknown reason. I think i scared him
It was the light!
Pfsif yeah and his kids LOVED me for my personality and warmth...i spoke to them like the small human beings they are. ❤
sorry for what happened to u
They can sniff out people who won't give them long term narcissistic supply. @@matrixdropout3077
🌟
Lost 5 years of my life to this. Spread the news bro. Im with you till my last breath
Me too
@@nonythecreative me kmlol upyp
❤
My priest treated me like absolute trash. I felt horrible. I overstayed. Time to leave.
Finally, some one standing up and telling the truth. I have been an organist for 25 years and believe me, there are many pastors that are so full of themselves and organists have to deal with these people!!!!!! They scream that the scriptures (Acts 20:28). I once had a Lutheran Pastor tell me that even if it was minus 60 degrees outside, he could turn off the church furnace because the Bible gave him full authority. And he was a gay pastor!!!!
It's scary how spot-on the content of this entire video is!
My mother, a single mother in the 1960's, had her pastor come to our house and make moves on her. He was in that church for decades and we weren't regular church goers. I now understand why.
I’m sorry about your sister. Narcissists can do a lot of damage to a good person. 😔. I hope she’s healing from her ordeal.
Thank you for posting this! I just came out of an abusive church I was a part of for 15 years. The pastor was a covert narcissist. He became a pastor at 25 and that set him off as arrogant to begin with. He always said 25 was to young but God was desperate to get correct doctrine into the community. Red flag right there 🚩 but I was only 15 when I started going so I didn’t see the signs.
Any time a church tells you God needs us, it will always be a red flag. I’ve,too, learned this the hard way.
What is equally evil are the people who defend, make excuses, and cover up for the Wolf in sheep's clothing! They are complicit.
Codependent enablers
Thank you for sharing. I left a cultish church about two years ago, and I'm still picking up the pieces. The guy is on TBN and Daystar. The congregation worships him.
When I left horrible things were said about me. They said I was demonized and warned the congregation not to associate with me.
I sold my house and moved away from my family to be part of this ministry.
I lost my entire support structure, and I nearly lost my faith.
Two years later and I'm thinking on joining an Eastern Orthodox church, because Protestant churches are all Pastor centered and Orthodox churches are Sacrament centered.
I hear a lot of people expressing what you did about Eastern Orthodox. They do have a more mature idea concerning leadership where they are firm that people can not discern their own calling into leadership (self-elect themselves). There are also body centered churches - read "Pagan Christianity" by Frank Viola as a third option you might find more inline with scripture.
Good for you get away from demon possessed folks that tried to target you as the "black sheep" at the end of the day you don't belong amongst wolves in sheep's clothing. No you're not part of that clan brother. Blessings! ✌🏻
Thanks, Aaron Walker. I will share this on my Facebook. I believe you. You & I are in the same mind. My entire family are Christian Narcs & borderline personality. I just discovered this 2 years ago. I need you on my team.
Just do like I did, I have created my own little group of five people, we pray together and learn the Bible little by little.
You are So spot on. I personally knew one, almost destroyed a whole community. And he is still manipulating and spinning a web of deceit and lies. He is pure filth.
Yep! Those kinds exist. I pray for no more innocent victims to be preyed upon....
Awesome! Thank you for saying out loud what I felt in my heart, but didn't know how to explain! I would have returned to church if I this wasn't such an epidemic! You expressed the truth 100%.
Very disturbing story told to me at Newfound Baptist Church in Leicester NC! I had heard about a man who drove into a church parking lot not far from where I use to live. This man had attempted to get help from someone in that church rather they told him to get out of their parking lot. Must have been another day than Sunday. Anyway I was told the guy stayed in his car for several hours and not leave; eventually someone went into the parking lot to see why the man was still there and found that he had shot himself to death. The pastor who told me this story is currently the pastor at that same church but was not the pastor at that time but he had heard the story and told me. I thought how could anyone allow that disturbed man not to be shown love and concern where he probably assumed someone there might care. Need less to say that poor man's hopes had to have hit rock bottom as he met with heartlessness! Also the pastor who told me the story acted as though the man was at fault for causing a disturbance which later on I ended up being the target of the very pastor that told me the story. He had, at one point, told me over the phone "it's my time and there is nothing you can do to take that from me" along with throwing scriptures from Peter (can't remember 1 or 2). He got angry with me because I asked questions in front of the congregation and he could not answer them so he retaliated by telling me not to come in there to cause trouble. Eventually he got me to the side before a morning service and said the deacons came to him and asked him to tell me not to ask questions in front of the kids during service. I looked at him and said "I do not answer to you nor anyone else in this church especially you, I done what God has told me to do and I will not keep silent at your command". The questions I asked were about Biblical matters so why was he so offended at them, other than he felt ashamed not able to give answer. Hum very certain he is a narcissistic pastor. Actually I was sent there to test this situation and in so doing I also learned how severely dangerous people sitting under such person can be in a whole mess of trouble! We are told in "1 John 4:1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world." (KJV). Notice the subtile ways they do things because once you become aware of it how can it be subtile?! Cunning, deceptiveness, trickiness, etc. preys on those who are not aware! Please I implore people, seeking to find truth, ask The Holy Spirit for guidance! May God strengthen those who are warning people to be careful to what they listen to and know that you are not alone. :~~~0~~~:
Timewilltell I want to first thank you for sharing your story. You have touched my heart. I have been a victim of the righteous congregation. It destroyed my happiness within that church because I was about to become a new member. The problem was that I was a teen mom and all the children in the church wanted to be around me. I have a gift from God that draws people especially children around me. I genuinely love people and enjoy them so much. I love learning from them and would never judge or disrespect others. I never said or did anything wrong but just being a young mom was an abomination to them. No one even talked to me about my life or what happened. I was treated as if I was going to corrupt the kids and caused problems in the church. One young lady (around 14) told me that she could never sit with me again because I had a child and I could only tell her how to get pregnant. I was devastated. I wanted to speak with her mom to let her know how much I loved and respected her daughter and would never do something like that. I was convicted of this when all I wanted was to find a caring church that me and my daughter could be a part of. I stopped going feeling as if I was totally worthless. My family was full of narcissism and treated me like fresh poop. I know God loves me and that he has a plan for me and my family. We're not the undesirables that my family and so many righteous people claim. Now I am so grateful and I all love people even more than before. I show love with actions and encouragement. I moved to another state away from the narcissistic family. I live my life and kids thank me for not allowing my family and righteous people to hurt them. I'm not a member of a church but I do fellowship with different ones. Blessings to you and your family. 🤗🤗🤗
Amen... Calvin was a classic narcissist --- killing all who disagreed with him.
God bless you, Nora... you're alright.
+5winder Thanks so much sweetheart, you're totally awesome too.🤗
By you giving the exact name of the church and location of that church, you are gossiping about that church on this forum.
In doing so, you are no different than the narcissist and the many games the Narc likes to play with their smear campaigns.
Slanderers will not inherit the kingdom of heaven - 1 Corinthians 6:10.
You should repent & let go of what ever hard feelings you have for that church.
Thank you very much for this. I’ve been dealing with Jonathan Kleck. I’ve spend my time trying to warn others over his abuse and lies. He’s tried to destroy my family because of his own “doctrine”. He’s on RUclips under Cory Barbee channel and on Kleck files. RUclips has done nothing to help with his abuse toward my family. We have had to file police reports to protect ourselves from his followers that he has whipped into a frenzy to attack us. It’s a long story. Please anyone who reads this warn others!
Didn’t get a good feeling from that guy the 1 or 2 times that I listened to him.
19:00 OMG! I almost died earlier this year because I've been stuck in a similar, though different, experience. And no one cared except my youngest son, who is still too young to deal with this. The fact that YOU are dealing with this touches me, and it's somewhat healing. Thanks for expressing this. It's impossible to live well without community support, and you're providing that here so thanks again!
This was a very thought provoking video Aaron. Thank you for sharing. It is very imperative that us Christians start addressing the sin that is happening in our churches. God gave us the word for a reason and I very much believe that the Bible holds the framework on how to address and correct these issues. I hope you are doing well and that you have found a congregation that you can call home. God bless.
edward vandermeulen m
Its not called adultery if the girl is 14. Its called statutory rape.🤬
i will agree on this my husband an American Pastor named Kevin Harris and i am the Filipina wife here in the Philippines..We don't have good relationship but indeed we have 4 children, he stayed with us 4 months in a year the rest he is back in the u.s.a. We fight so bad and him he abuse physically, even mentally to the point that i myself learn how to defend myself..our 4th baby was still in the incubator and i am having cesarean operation as he came back from u.s.a he let me sign the divorce paper, i signed it too..but to think he is a pastor and suppose servant of God ..where is his God, while he is here in the Philippines he has live-in partner..i have to chase him so bad for our financial support..I just can't believe he is a pastor...Forgiveness? Pastor or not but the description he is worse than the non-christian.
joan harris I believe you💜 someone just told me a day of reckoning is coming. May God bless, heal, comfort and richly provide for you and your family
He A Narcissistic Person Pretending To Be Good...That's ALL! A Imposter
I realize that this is an old video by now… And I pray that you are well and continuing in the faith. You are exactly right when you called it a sickness. That’s what iniquity is like. The deviation from scripture is the trespass, and now we are in full on sickness. Sitting in a pew, staring at the back of someone’s head, singing a bunch of songs we don’t know, and then listening for 45 minutes to a lecture on things that we already do know is not fellowship.
Wow! Awesome, my friend and brother in the Lord. How I feel your emotion and pain for others. I went to a church for 10 years, became an elder the last 2 years. The church had two pastors. The covert narcissist pastor did the things you said to subvert and undermine everyone else. He worked people against people and gossiped just enough information to turn people against people and board members against board members. That way everyone was against everyone but everyone thought he was great. He would be in elders meetings and vote against requests for persons to minister outside the church and then go outside the meeting and tell the people that wanted the ministry that he voted for them but others were against it. He would vote against membership telling other elders that the only reason for membership was for the other pastor to brag about how many members he had but the real reason he voted against it was because he wanted to control the church and did not want anyone through membership to have any say in anything. He would promise the other pastor large sums of money to preach and then later tell other board members that the other pastor was greedy. He would act like he was volunteer and let other people in the church believe that and even say he was not getting paid when he was getting his house expenses, vehicle expenses and other expenses paid through a church credit card (including eating out) to the tune of a decent salary for anyone in our area (Over $40K a year). He loved the power more than the money though. At a business outside the church, he would cash checks for a board member who was hiding from the IRS to keep the board member owing him favors. This board member was known around town for foul language and not paying his bills and his employees being thieves. I asked the pastor why he was still a board member but got no answer. Later I would learn he could be controlled by the pastor and that is why he was on the board. This pastor would pay another board member's utility costs for his business with church funds, again to control and to keep him on his side. He hired another board member to work at a business outside the church also. That way the majority of board members owed him something. He eliminated the other ones that did not go along with him. He played everyone against everyone. He would tell me as an elder things against the other pastor. Then when I said it was not right he would go and tell the other pastor that I was against him and had spoken up about these things in question. He bred hate among everyone. He had a side business selling cars and would pay people $100 to sign the titles of the cars before he sold it to the actual seller so that the sell appeared to be a private sale and then he would avoid having to give his buyers warranties for the vehicles he sold them (as is required by state law). He said he loved people and loved God but he was willing to lie cheat and steal. He was a crook through and through. He was so good at it, the best I have ever seen. He would shake people's hands and say, "Bless you" and so everyone was enamored with is personality. He did not like the fact that I did not agree with him so he began to eliminate the ministries that I was in. The final straw for me in his manipulation was when he told me they had talked to my wife and my wife agreed with them against me regarding a decision they were making. I knew then he was lying (I have a great marriage) and I knew they had tried to twist my wife or her words against me and just like Satan going to Eve in the garden or just like the Philistines going to Delilah against Samson these people were using devilish tactics in their manipulation. I resigned as elder and left the church the same day as he did this. After we left the church God had me start studying narcissism in relation to my dad's behavior growing up to help my siblings. I later realized this pastor was a covert narcissists and one of the best I have ever known. He did just what you said, he made us appear like the bad guys while making himself the victim. He worked gossip and words and played people. Looking back I realize he was scheming every time I met with him for lunch. Lying was very easy for him. He lied like crazy and thought nothing of it. My wife and I had many miracles and wonderful things God did in our lives over the years, many proven supernatural events and one they witnessed in our daughter while we went there. Yet when we testified to these things publicly they did not believe us and figured it was luck or something else. I was hurt people did not believe us. Later on God showed me not to be hurt because the reason they did not believe us is because they lie about everything so they think everyone else is lying also. They lie thinking they are doing God a service or in service to their manipulation so they think we were lying giving God glory. I have been gone for the church for 5+ years and I am still like you, I get choked up thinking about what he did and all the people that were damaged. I feel bad for the other pastor who was hurt. Over 100 people have left the church. The other pastor left also. Anyway.....I just want to say your video and testimony and sharing this with us is awesome. We so appreciate you! Keep speaking the truth! God Bless you Brother!
I'm in the process of leaving an abusive church.I went into a deep depression contemplating suicide.The Apostle is my MOTHER.I know she will cut me off but at least I'll be Free...
Come out from AMONGST them and be SEPARATED. Choose God above man. Hell is hot for those that deliberately disobey.
I Know A Lot Of People Was Ran Crazy n Didn't Know..It Was Come from Mind Control Teaching. I Knew A Person Been Out Of Church Over 20 years And Happy. And Just Do What RIGHT...By Following Her Own Mind. That's The PROBLEM They Don't Want People To Think for Themselves.
@@valerieriggins3184 , you can think for yourself.. but remember God is going to hold everyone accountable for what they knew and chose to do. He has an open book test for everyone. He makes away of escape. His word to those that have repented and believe bring life.. and life more ABUNDANTLY. You will receive discernment, wisdom, conviction and be lead into all truth. That is the job of the holy spirit. But you will not obtain it if you are not his. You come to him on his terms and not MORTAL men. DONT BE DECEIVED LIL CHILDREN.. READ YOUR OWN BIBLE AND OBEY IT TIL THE END.
I hope you're doing okay. Reading this a year later.
@@valerieriggins3184 Absolutely that's what I'm doing❤❤❤I wish u peace and love
May God use this video to bless the poor sheep feeling isolated and confused at this moment. I pray to my beloved brethren that you may receive comfort today. May God bless you with His peace. 🙏
“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
John 14:27
I’m so sorry you endured all you have. It hurts. Thank you Jesus for teaching us wisdom and helping us to stand up against these demonic men trying to slaughter your children. We fight for those children that can’t fight for themselves. All glory to the LORD! All things are possible with Him. You are a watchman. There just don’t seem to be many of us now days. Bless you brother.
Thank you Mr. Aaron Walker for your candor and forthrightness in bringing to light such a prevalent quandary that is existent in so many congregations today. I am a believer. I have grown up in the church. Am in my late 20s and currently am not attending anywhere, despite my continual faith and prayer life. To share my story, I grew up in the church. By nature I am a sensitive individual or an empath, as my mother describes me. I've wondered since the time I was a child why if you were to venture to the mall, or local store, why you would encounter individuals that were kinder and more pleasant than those that sat in church on Sundays. While I know that this isn't an aspect applicable to all churches or pastoral leaders, like you shared, it seems to be nearly 90 percent of pastors, leaders, or parishioners. I moved after college at age 22, and attended three other congregations after leaving my home church. The three ensuing congregations, were run by narcissistic pastors.
The first, the pastor admonished the individuals for not attending like they should. In SS and Bible Study, mandated they order the requisite materials, established a dress code, and it was even put in their policies that they could ask someone to leave if they didnt adhere to their discipline. I left there after witnessing a family hurt and preached at from the pulpit. After leaving, I wrote him and the elders a letter expressing my concerns for leaving, thinking they would keep it confidential. Nothing could have been further from the truth. The whole congregation seemed to know about it. At my last church, I attended for three years. It was a younger narcissistic pastor. Everyone there gossiped. My first two years there were fine, but the last year was arduous. One of the leaders was narcissistic. I was involved with a particular ministry in the beginning, but was unable to continue due to various constraints. This angered the leader and he smeared me to the congregation, conveying a host of untruths about me. It was hurtful because it wasnt a friendly church and only a handful would speak to me in three years, but those that had never even spoke to me, would hold a grim welcome from the lies this leader spewed. Though they didnt even know me, they were eager to accept everything the pastor and leader expressed. I havent been to church in two years and dont think I could ever bring myself to attend again, since the hurt was so immense. I do continue to hold onto my Christian faith since childhood.
Thank you again for sharing your thoughts. You will never know how much this video meant to me and will keep you in prayer as you strive to reach out to others regarding this problem that is so rampant today.
Paul Kilpatrick Thanks for sharing! Try reading "Pagan Christianity" it helped me make sense of a lot.
Praying for your healing from this abuse.
The more popular pastors are charismatic and charisma is one of the specialties of the overt Narcissist. A humble believe never "lights up the room", so the people actually demand a Narcissist.
I've seen it too where gossip is facilitated in order to get people to leave. Then they are painted as sinful or having problems with authority after they parted from the congregation. People who are not informed of the original disagreement are manipulated into shunning and scapegoating the targeted family.
My wife and I were basically forced out of the church she’s been going to her whole life. We love the people and yet we refused to sign the covenant contract that bound us to obedience serving and giving.
We don’t have a problem with obedience to God or giving and serving as the spirit leads. We actually love to give. It was the constant coercive teaching and push toward serving them.
Then when we were kicked out it was made like we just left because I’m rebellious.
Yeah my heart has been broken and I have been told I’m poisoning my wife and I’m leading my family out among the wolves.
It goes on and on.
What do to now?
Hey I hope you are over the worst since you wrote this comment. Shame I only found this video now, after also having suffered many years of abuse at the hands of religious leaders.
What to do now? First of all, you sound like a very genuine, honest and truthful man. This makes you a wonderful husband (and father if you have kids). Honesty is the most important value. You stood up for the truth even though you got hounded out. You have shown strength, true faith, and real character.
I hope you haven't internalized the things that you got told. Instead of "poisoning your wife and leading your family to the wolves", you are leading your wife (and any children) to truth and genuine faith. You are defending them from the wolves. You have saved them from being devoured by the wolves.
Don't be heartbroken over what you thought you had at that church. It was an illusion and of demonic origin. The devil sends many illusions. It hurts like mad when we realize that it was an illusion - but once we realize that, it's best not to cry over spilt milk. Leave this den of vipers, I know you got kicked out anyway but turn your back, have nothing more to do with that church or anyone connected to it. Speak the truth about it. The internet is very useful for speaking the truth about an organization.
You don't need a church to pray, read the Bible or have a connection to God. Find friends elsewhere, or just be with your wife. Friends are very hard to find nowadays as most people are false and dishonest. Enjoy the freedom from that hellhole and remember: this was the devil's liar, not a house of God.
Now that i understand narcissism and empath the first thing I thought was OMG Pastors are narcissist too and found this video to confirm.
Thank you for making this video.
You spoke truths that needed to be said. Narc Pastors have hurt A LOT of people, who suffer in silence. It is an unfortunate reality that needs to be acknowledged.
Thanks! Time to be brave in pointing it out even though you will be persecuted for it :0)
❤this. @@AaronWalker007
We have overcome aron. The diaease is gone. Victory in jesus name. Spread the word
I agree 100%. Thank you for making this video and sounding the alarm! So much harm is being done and almost no one acknowledges it.
Very good video. Yes, I’m convinced my ex-pastor is a Narcissist. It only took me 25 years to realise that and leave. He listened to and spread gossip, created his own fables, was envious of those more successful than himself, strong men were driven out by him till only a handful of women or passive men were left, he was a master or manipulation using guilt, threats and flattery, his congregants worship him and are cold, divided and dysfunctional as a group. Sadly he manipulated my best friend into not marrying someone so she could continue to fulfill his agenda, that was the last straw for me.
Cath Gavin Wow this sounds so incredibly familiar.
Just crazy! But on point! Typical Narcissist right there!
This was in my recommended feed to 2 watch and I have been researching this topic for awhile. Completely agree with this. Especially in the Reformed church. Although doctrine is solid, the subtleness of narcissism is harder to detect. UNLESS, someone has had previous church experience or personal experience. Someone in the comments section said something along the lives of no wonder genuine believers are leaving the church... Although we are to not forsake the gathering, its gets very hard dealing with the facade and superficiality of the church. Prayers for all going through this. Lord come quickly.
Was sent this video as I'm wrestling with whether to stay with my church, or whether to confront my arrogant pastor and try to find out if he is for God and his people or for himself. As you say, he makes a great show of his doctorate, his self authored books, his clinical psychologist wife, his healing. There's no fellowship but a quick coffee at the end of a boring lengthy sermon by the pastor. He talks about himself EVERY week and collects money. Where is God here? I'm sick of it.
My pastor has since banned me. I asked who he served. Banned from church building. He pushed the Pfizer jab to his congregation. I disputed that.
Why do you waste your time with that? You'll never get that time back you know.
@@LittleKitty22 he banned me so I've not been there since Sept 2021. He started telling everyone to get the Pfizer jab. Plus always demands money. So I said "Pastor Reg, who do you serve?" Banned me from the building.
oh my gosh have been watching an ex friend who fits this to a T go down the crapper since 2010. It's amazing how people don't believe what is going on when he thinks no one is looking. In return he accuses everyone else of abuse, defamation, and makes legalese threats after he has spent plenty of time actually breaking defamation laws. It's utterly surreal.
Your emotion about this is evident and speaks well of you. My heart goes out to you and all the victims of this epidemic.
Thank you for making this video. I became a Christian as an adult after reading the New Testament all the way through. I was especially enamored with the book of Acts & thought I was going to go out & find believers just like that. Ahem. Needless to say, I have really been through the wringer with churches. I've gone from church to church across many denominations & it is just as you say: It is a narcissist-dominated profession. My way of putting it: One Man + One Pulpit = One Ego Writ Large. From my study, I don't even think the one-man-ministry model is even biblical. Rather, a plurality of elders (old men) hovering in the background - moving forward when necessary to teach, or give counsel, etc. - while allowing people to interact in a more natural, familial way like at a family reunion seems to me to be a more workable model. However, in the meantime, we are also working against the social engineering that has broken down the family... So much work needs to be done! God help us all. Restoration.
It's not biblical. the current church model was to stop once Jesus completed His work on Calvary and The Bible completed. I also went church hopping until I finally realized they are all made me very uncomfortable b/c they were HEAVY with strange demonic spirits (narcissistic spirits included) and CHAOS (competition among members, forced family vibes, contradicting and weird traditions and doctrines, constant money extortion, messy drama, etc)
I agree with you! I was just thinking about the 1 man leader model and how other than Jesus being the one to teach and preach where He was (and He is the One Who is perfect and able to teach like this!), really all the disciples and apostles went and taught/preached in 2's or bigger groups.
I'll stake my life on this video. God bless you bro
I always admired my pastor father-in-law. The moment I realized he was a toxic narcissist I sorta went through a grieving process because it was like the man I truly respected was not the actual person I thought I knew. Its almost as if he died to me. I have since cut him from my life and are much happier.
I know we only have one family but we also have one appendix and when it starts affecting your health you cut it out.
I like that saying, with the appendix... very true. Forget about the "we only have one family" by the way. Many of us have been horrifically abused by "parents" and the likes. Family are the people who love you, regardless of whether you are related to them or not. Anyone who abuses you, is not your family but the devil in disguise.
One has to see things for what they are. It's like the seamonkeys that your username is from (very cute by the way): when the seamonkeys craze started, they were advertized as tiny human like creatures that kids could grow and play with, they were portrayed as smiling little people... kids spent their entire pocket money on these things... what did they get? A bunch of shrimp that either died or overbred. The disappointment was so massive that it was likened to child abuse.
Nowadays it's different, they still sell them but now everyone knows they are just shrimp. We have to see things for what they are and not be blinded by advertisements or titles.
You're right about gossip and how we dont get to know the source
Let me guess... it came from some pastors...or "leaders" to the congregants very unknown.....
Happens in small groups as well. Very sad.