Trump's Super Secret Agreement With Mexico

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  • Опубликовано: 11 июн 2019
  • President Trump is assuring everyone that his secret agreement with Mexico is incredible, genius, and DEFINITELY real. #LSSC #Colbert #Monologue
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Комментарии • 2,8 тыс.

  • @allanrune
    @allanrune 4 года назад +134

    Stephen's impersonation of Trump always makes me laugh out loud.

  • @brianschlicher59
    @brianschlicher59 4 года назад +602

    "I just gave you my word."
    We would prefer something of value!
    Brilliant!

    • @stevewebber707
      @stevewebber707 4 года назад +19

      Trump gives us his word.
      We promptly drop it in the dustbin of history and wash our hands multiple times.

    • @RangerTroll
      @RangerTroll 4 года назад +1

      More like autistic.

    • @russmartin9549
      @russmartin9549 4 года назад +1

      "My word is useless and tainted, that's why I'm giving it to you"

    • @russmartin9549
      @russmartin9549 4 года назад +1

      @@TechnoGeek18023 a blast furnace couldn't sterilize his paws

    • @archangel7545
      @archangel7545 4 года назад

      I do not agree with Trump or his behavior. But I won't bash the man day in and day out. I even disagreed with Obama and questioned his actions often, but never went so far as bashing him. I just know he too wasn't the best representation of president.

  • @VincentVonDudler
    @VincentVonDudler 4 года назад +55

    5:42
    Trump: "I just give you my word."
    Stephen: "We would prefer something of value."
    lololololol *savage*

  • @erickoontz6835
    @erickoontz6835 4 года назад +23

    Stephen Colbert just continues to get better and BETTER!!

    • @luckyfisher7240
      @luckyfisher7240 4 года назад

      Eric Koontz at what?! Seriously talk show host is one step down from game show host.. Not exactly a lifetime achievement pal. And for the record without Trump living rent free in this vapid excuse for a man's head he would have zero material. Shouldn't you be finishing up your gender reassignment surgery or marching w a pussy hat on for the right to kill babies?

  • @m.rodrigolemus6224
    @m.rodrigolemus6224 4 года назад +357

    You Vote for a Clown... You get a Show 😉

    • @mebeingU2
      @mebeingU2 4 года назад +12

      M. Rodrigo Lemus, no, you get a freakin’ circus!!! And we’re way under the big top!!

    • @RussDaChamp
      @RussDaChamp 4 года назад

      Brain washed idiots! Trump best president ever! Think about when Obama was in office.. How many place did you see with hiring signs!? Now with Trump... Everyone is hiring and having to compete with hire wages! You all stay brain washed. Another 3 years coming out of your democratic brain wash you all will thank us!

    • @hlcepeda
      @hlcepeda 4 года назад +3

      @@RussDaChamp You'd benefit by actually reading the entire article. www.washingtonpost.com/business/2018/08/10/america-wage-growth-is-getting-wiped-out-entirely-by-inflation/?noredirect=on&.1ec20614dc10

    • @toidean4834
      @toidean4834 4 года назад +4

      @@RussDaChamp you're so STUPID! Your so-called declaration doesn't even have the correct spelling, so you're dismissed!😂😂😂

    • @mprevis
      @mprevis 4 года назад +3

      @@RussDaChamp girl stop your making my very large ah-brain hurt🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @zmast333
    @zmast333 4 года назад +111

    LMAO... "It's my option, not Mexico's, but I'll release it when Mexico says it's ok to release it"

    • @Rhiannon011
      @Rhiannon011 4 года назад +6

      zmast33..I know I mean wtf is wrong trump's brain????

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 4 года назад +2

      Of course he meant Putin.

    • @ras22273
      @ras22273 4 года назад +5

      @@Rhiannon011
      Well for starters it operates his mouth.

    • @lindah.2815
      @lindah.2815 4 года назад +3

      At first I thought I heard it wrong but then realized nope he actually said that dumbness.

    • @andieisabella
      @andieisabella 4 года назад

      @orphan 200 It's the same blank piece of magic paper. Only those with mental disabilities can see the writing. Unfortunately, the GOP left the biggest nut run the nuthouse. If only someone with ANY qualifications were running things...

  • @amyelizabeth529
    @amyelizabeth529 4 года назад +20

    "Once again, Trump is foiled by his arch nemesis, sunlight & reading."
    OMG. I'm dying. 😂

  • @sandrapatterson2916
    @sandrapatterson2916 4 года назад +99

    Once again...Trump is foiled by his arch nemesis....
    Sunlight & Reading! 🤣🤣🤣
    Hilarious!

    • @AW-xv7dq
      @AW-xv7dq 4 года назад +5

      Wind and rain is a phobia also

    • @LHKKKing
      @LHKKKing 4 года назад +2

      Sunlight burns my skin, and reading burns my eyes!

  • @mattpaxton3528
    @mattpaxton3528 4 года назад +83

    "I totally have a girlfriend. Totally. She's in Canada. No, you can't meet her."

  • @autumbreeze1129
    @autumbreeze1129 4 года назад +361

    "I give you my word"
    "We would rather something of value"
    Perfect

    • @189hosp6
      @189hosp6 4 года назад +9

      The greatest reality show in the world, lol.

    • @wf6951
      @wf6951 4 года назад +9

      @@189hosp6 I hope it ends soon.

    • @189hosp6
      @189hosp6 4 года назад

      @@wf6951 same here

    • @amsteensberg1653
      @amsteensberg1653 4 года назад

      😁😁😁

  • @LawndaleLancaster
    @LawndaleLancaster 4 года назад +255

    Another installment of Ripley's Believe It or Not!!!😃

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 4 года назад +1

      Well, I don't believe any of it.

    • @brian5o
      @brian5o 4 года назад +8

      I wish that we could seal trump up in a jar of formaldehyde like a 2-headed calf fetus at Ripley's. If we could, the world would be a better place for everyone.

    • @gz9975
      @gz9975 4 года назад +4

      Seems that way to sane people, however Christians are bigots and childm0lesters. As long as Trump continues to preach hate against minorities and hides out in child pageant locker rooms, he will always have the full support of Christian America.

  • @sillyfeet73
    @sillyfeet73 4 года назад +23

    Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Why hasn’t anyone in his administration told him it’s 3 dots?
    Oh yes because he has to be BIGGER, and BETTER and have the most amazing amount of dots you’ve ever seen! 🤪🤣

    • @pineconey
      @pineconey 4 года назад +1

      They don't know either.

    • @PedroGarzaT
      @PedroGarzaT 4 года назад +1

      Just be thankful he can't put the dots in a bigger font.

  • @benjkbtmontreal_91
    @benjkbtmontreal_91 4 года назад +107

    This has now become the best comedy series. Can't stop laughing

    • @TheNordrian
      @TheNordrian 4 года назад +5

      Benjamin Tetteh you should hear the original from the white house! That dude’s act is gold! Bankrupt gold, but still.

  • @nodalpointnews9375
    @nodalpointnews9375 4 года назад +498

    "With a JOB JOB here and a JOB JOB there" 😅😅😅

    • @maryelizabeth6797
      @maryelizabeth6797 4 года назад +13

      Yet not a living wage.❤️💔

    • @worrywart1311
      @worrywart1311 4 года назад +8

      You mean.......everywhere a job, job?

    • @briancorr3668
      @briancorr3668 4 года назад

      Labor wages in this country have stagnated because of illegal immigration Mary Elizabeth.

    • @uzziake
      @uzziake 4 года назад +12

      @@briancorr3668 labor wages gave stagnated for everything, do illegal immigrants do every job you think ? Or is it maybe that more of the wealth produced goes to the owner class ?

    • @briancorr3668
      @briancorr3668 4 года назад

      Yes. Labor is labor, you don’t have to know how to read, write, or speak English to be a laborer. In every low skilled sector of the work force where communication with consumers is not required you will find illegals.

  • @monkstudio9118
    @monkstudio9118 4 года назад +29

    I laughed, I cried, I wet the bed! That monologue was firing on all cylinders Stephen. Keep it up!

  • @o0Avalon0o
    @o0Avalon0o 4 года назад +74

    It's like dementia became a world leader

  • @miguelibarra6188
    @miguelibarra6188 4 года назад +300

    I wish a reporter would have trolled him and said: "if you dont read it, it is fake news"

    • @yvonnenippsonribbs1811
      @yvonnenippsonribbs1811 4 года назад +31

      It is time they call out his bs infront of him

    • @yvonnenippsonribbs1811
      @yvonnenippsonribbs1811 4 года назад +9

      @Cellar Dwellers they might be Held back ..... Not allowed to call trump out

    • @Redridge07
      @Redridge07 4 года назад +6

      @Miguel ibarra .. that would not be trolling, that would be doing their job. I dont think kids today know what trolling is!

    • @Redridge07
      @Redridge07 4 года назад +4

      @Cellar Dwellers absolutely wrong ... there are thousands of journalists and you think not one of them is a "real" journalist

    • @tonyplow9219
      @tonyplow9219 4 года назад

      Miguel, I wish Donald Trump would smack your teeth out of your mouth!

  • @a.e.jabbour5003
    @a.e.jabbour5003 4 года назад +262

    It's a very simple agreement. It's one page of a very long agreement. -- Huh?!

    • @TravisNewton1
      @TravisNewton1 4 года назад +26

      A.E. Jabbour To be fair, that _is_ very long to Trump. He can’t read anything above one sentence without struggling. Pre-school kids are mentally more developed.

    • @g0679
      @g0679 4 года назад +4

      A.E. Jabbour
      For a nation’s Chief Executive, he has incredible verbal skills.

    • @philipclarke364
      @philipclarke364 4 года назад +8

      that's because he is lying

    • @Montesama314
      @Montesama314 4 года назад +9

      Maybe the "secret agreement" is like Trump: it rambles on and on for minutes at a time, but ultimately says next to nothing.

    • @a.e.jabbour5003
      @a.e.jabbour5003 4 года назад +2

      @@TravisNewton1 OK, that's a very good point which I should have considered. :)

  • @primordialleftovers2197
    @primordialleftovers2197 4 года назад +50

    HOW MUCH MORE DOES HE NEED TO LIE B4 WE TAKE HIM OUT?!! If he was your employee you would have fired him in less than 30 days!!

    • @The_Spectre_Gamer
      @The_Spectre_Gamer 4 года назад +5

      Eddy Volt bullshit, I wouldn’t have hired him to begin with.

    • @soniasg8639
      @soniasg8639 4 года назад

      @@The_Spectre_Gamer lol! Good one!

  • @vloy3080
    @vloy3080 4 года назад +295

    This was so damn spot on 😂🤣 Go Colbert lmao

  • @brantlambermont1657
    @brantlambermont1657 4 года назад +200

    A professional liar's favorite phrase " I give you my word

    • @redisthecoolestcolour
      @redisthecoolestcolour 4 года назад +10

      Mine is: "Not a lot of people/Nobody knows this" because it means: "I just made this up" or "I just learnt this"

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 4 года назад +9

      He can take his word and shove it.

    • @worrywart1311
      @worrywart1311 4 года назад +3

      @@couragekarnga8735 Good words to utter into his pink, shell-like ear-hole.

    • @ezelfrancisco1349
      @ezelfrancisco1349 4 года назад +3

      Trump has "Believe me" trademarked

    • @g0679
      @g0679 4 года назад +3

      Brant Lambermont
      Trust me.

  • @pmartin3888
    @pmartin3888 4 года назад +1732

    Farmers best friend is the tractor... not the traitor

  • @chattycathy8089
    @chattycathy8089 4 года назад +15

    Colbert IS on fire....so much material to work with!!!!

    • @sandrapatterson2916
      @sandrapatterson2916 4 года назад

      Chatty Cathy
      All tRump has to do is open his dumb mouth and Colbert & team takes it from there.

  • @gilgemash
    @gilgemash 4 года назад +27

    Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant Colbert 😂😂 oh, my cardiac...
    ...once again foiled by his arch nemesis - sunlight and reading...
    🙏😂😂

    • @thanung
      @thanung 4 года назад

      colbert only the clown make some thing funny . !

  • @wetbobspongepants
    @wetbobspongepants 4 года назад +233

    Revealed at the appropriate time = Once we have a good story(lie).
    trump thinks farm is spelled E-I-E- I-O.

  • @davidcalhoun1731
    @davidcalhoun1731 4 года назад +645

    I give you my word. We would prefer something of value. LMAO

    • @robertlondeau5332
      @robertlondeau5332 4 года назад +16

      Fools gold has greater value than #45's word.

    • @HedelTorres
      @HedelTorres 4 года назад +5

      @DrMossydog a fool's shyte's vapour has more value...

    • @christopherbland5774
      @christopherbland5774 4 года назад +1

      And something that you could Trust

    • @lovett203
      @lovett203 4 года назад

      👊🏿

    • @littlejoe9229
      @littlejoe9229 4 года назад +2

      And the winner of the award for "Best one-liner of a Talk Show in 2019" goes to... Stephen! Stephen Stephen!

  • @tubularap
    @tubularap 4 года назад +39

    5:45 -- Trumpski: "I just give you my word." -- Stephen: "We would prefer something of value."

    • @Jan-vv1zk
      @Jan-vv1zk 4 года назад +4

      By "Trumpski" you make him Polish. You make him Russian by "Trumpov".

    • @tubularap
      @tubularap 4 года назад +3

      @@Jan-vv1zk -- Thanks for that 'nationality-in-a-name' correction. I saw that nickname and used it, because just as to many others, that sounded russian to me; just put 'ski' behind anything and ... voila. Now I'm informed, and I will use 'Trumpov'. Thus doing my small part in getting the reference to the trump-russia connection right. So thanks for that.

    • @Jan-vv1zk
      @Jan-vv1zk 4 года назад +2

      @@tubularap i am really happy you took it that way and not in a way i would try to offend you or something. You are a good confident person and you are welcome. :)

    • @tubularap
      @tubularap 4 года назад +2

      ​@@Jan-vv1zk - Your concern about the reception of your comment shows your high-empathy. That touches me. I too was hoping my reaction to you was taken as the serious appreciation as it was meant, and not as jokey cynicism or such. Did I express myself unambiguous enough, I wondered. Here we have 'only' words to communicate with.
      So in reference to the origin of this thread: Some people's words have no meaning or value. While the words of others show their full heart, soul and character. Like you did. You are welcome too :)

    • @BioshockChar
      @BioshockChar 4 года назад +1

      I just call him a douché canoe...
      With love from Calgary Alberta
      Ps. I'm not sorry.... just sayin', eh.

  • @vaylonkenadell
    @vaylonkenadell 4 года назад +21

    I'll give Trump credit for one thing: he _absolutely_ represents the sort of people who voted for him.

  • @OGSoundFX
    @OGSoundFX 4 года назад +62

    Do you think Trump watches his interviews afterwards, and thinks "wow, I was so good !" ?

    • @carrie0508
      @carrie0508 4 года назад +12

      YOu know he does, he makes everybody watch.." How bout that hair? huh, looks good doesn't it? oh shit-wind blowing...Not the Scalpppppppp".....

    • @kathryn3950
      @kathryn3950 4 года назад +5

      He only watches the Fox version though

    • @crybaby992
      @crybaby992 4 года назад

      Definitely!

  • @JosephBrown83805
    @JosephBrown83805 4 года назад +71

    And I thought Trump was just holding a blank piece of paper for future doodles.

    • @qxflyer
      @qxflyer 4 года назад +7

      So did I.

  • @ChandlerSomborac
    @ChandlerSomborac 4 года назад +64

    "I give you my word", just as believable as when he said "I can't release my taxes, I'm under audit".

    • @Justin.Martyr
      @Justin.Martyr 4 года назад

      *You ARE a LibTard & a SnowFlake & You are BuTT Burn dat Trump WON!!!!*

    • @hazelmccloy1136
      @hazelmccloy1136 4 года назад

      @@Justin.Martyr na

    • @robinjackson7882
      @robinjackson7882 4 года назад

      Serge Somborac Thé IRS refuted that

  • @daisytwotoes
    @daisytwotoes 4 года назад +454

    Every day, Trump opens his mouth and reaches new heights of weirdness.

    • @nosuchthing8
      @nosuchthing8 4 года назад +23

      Exactly. And all his cult members on fox news and across the nation believe their dear leader.

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 4 года назад +15

      Robyn Richards- and new lows of verbal diarrhoea. 💩💩💩

    • @sdfkjgh
      @sdfkjgh 4 года назад +5

      Judi O'Regan: The word you're looking for is logorrhea.

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 4 года назад +5

      @@sdfkjgh - cheers mate! 👍

    • @ohsnap7879
      @ohsnap7879 4 года назад +2

      Weirdness is too nice of a word more like stupidity

  • @nestormancillas4928
    @nestormancillas4928 4 года назад +38

    Mexico will not pay for those chalupas!!!!!!

    • @007prerry
      @007prerry 4 года назад

      It's interesting on levels I thought we don't have to have, we dont chase parked cars but it feels like it when you listen to our President they really bringing the best... best at what and don't say band camp...sorry for not saying so sooner My ame is Ed I'm using Sherrys cellular device to send a shout out to the best friend I had in a minute. Stay up "general hospital "

    • @jesuschristthemosthighgod3094
      @jesuschristthemosthighgod3094 4 года назад +3

      Nestor Mancillas 😂😂🌮🇲🇽

  • @CherylSimser
    @CherylSimser 4 года назад +51

    Trump's magic trick with a sheet of paper:"Now you don't see it...now you don't."

    • @shelleydwyer-murphy2281
      @shelleydwyer-murphy2281 4 года назад +2

      Trump's whole life has been a shell gams.

    • @williamplatt1641
      @williamplatt1641 4 года назад +2

      I like the part where he says it is totally up to his discretion, but only after mexico authorizes him to show it!😆😆😆
      What a load of horseapples!

  • @isosebryl4086
    @isosebryl4086 4 года назад +356

    Mexico president is laughing at trump just like everybody else!! 🤣

    • @Infinite_exhilaration
      @Infinite_exhilaration 4 года назад

      puerto vallarta?

    • @r.mcbride2837
      @r.mcbride2837 4 года назад +17

      How about the whole world is laughing at President Pennywise? He's a moron.

    • @armandoperez9384
      @armandoperez9384 4 года назад +16

      I'm not a Straight White Male citizens who are also cartel members and were involved in rival fighting. Please don’t talk about what you don’t know

    • @leonardoflorentin
      @leonardoflorentin 4 года назад +1

      @@armandoperez9384 those are citizens, the sicarios are recruited from the common population. It is basically a civil war for drug profit.

    • @toidean4834
      @toidean4834 4 года назад +8

      @I'm not a Straight White Male my children's father and his wife vacated there a few weeks ago and they LOVED it

  • @juanreynoso9653
    @juanreynoso9653 4 года назад +53

    Oh man this one's gold Stephen just gold 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @edmonix6457
    @edmonix6457 4 года назад +194

    ROFL Donaldo El Guapo Trumpistador who the hell comes up with this stuff so gooooood

  • @TheReal008Zulu
    @TheReal008Zulu 4 года назад +80

    Trump's utter lack of intelligence will never fail to amuse.

    • @emiliomaspero1054
      @emiliomaspero1054 4 года назад +3

      @Mike Urashevich and scary

    • @g0679
      @g0679 4 года назад +2

      TheReal008Zulu
      “Amuse” carries pleasant overtones.
      But there’s nothing pleasant about this man.

    • @toney757
      @toney757 4 года назад

      He's a "very stable genius" LMAO!!!

    • @MTMF.london
      @MTMF.london 4 года назад

      Tragic and very sad. Bigly!

  • @jerkfudgewater147
    @jerkfudgewater147 4 года назад +182

    “This is a very simple agreement.... this is one page of a very long agreement”
    #WorstPresidentEver #DumbestPersonEver

    • @playerone2480
      @playerone2480 4 года назад +5

      Dumbest?

    • @manpreetsethi1736
      @manpreetsethi1736 4 года назад +3

      It was close enough I get the sentiments

    • @matthewdear4898
      @matthewdear4898 4 года назад +2

      Glad somebody caught that🤣

    • @jerkfudgewater147
      @jerkfudgewater147 4 года назад +2

      Mikel One 😂🤣😂🤣 spellcheck is not my friend

    • @DemonKing2k8
      @DemonKing2k8 4 года назад +1

      Trump you is with out a shadow of a doubt the world dumbest son of a b****

  • @noluthando6757
    @noluthando6757 4 года назад +12

    Stephen’s delivery is impeccable! I’m soo happy for his Writers - must be a joy to see your work delivered with such precision 👌

  • @flyinghigh2000
    @flyinghigh2000 4 года назад +81

    Confirmed. Mexico is better at deals than Trump

    • @spookyryu
      @spookyryu 4 года назад +2

      A toddler makes better deals in kindergarten

    • @ProjectFlashlight612
      @ProjectFlashlight612 4 года назад +2

      A drunk frog could make a better deal than that cretin, let alone Mexico

    • @tonyplow9219
      @tonyplow9219 4 года назад

      Flyinghigh, Then move to Mexico and enjoy their prosperity!

    • @tonyplow9219
      @tonyplow9219 4 года назад

      @@spookyryu What is a desls?

    • @tonyplow9219
      @tonyplow9219 4 года назад

      @paso fino good I never said I wished any ill on Mexico.

  • @prettyinpinky5937
    @prettyinpinky5937 4 года назад +32

    Ok why would it be in his pocket? Like do they not own envelopes and briefcases in the US White House? Lol

    • @BC-cp5vr
      @BC-cp5vr 4 года назад +2

      Simple, He knew that the wording would show through, and it said what he wanted it to say, Like writing your own excuse note to get out of school.

    • @crystalm4324
      @crystalm4324 4 года назад +2

      Yes, why would ANY official document be folded up in his pocket?? Considering that it was less than ⅓ of a page it was probably His briefing on the whole Mexico Trade Agreement put in small words.

  • @stevepitts18
    @stevepitts18 4 года назад +195

    It's a secret agreement with Mexico.
    Just don't tell Mexico ;-)

    • @marciamarcum3596
      @marciamarcum3596 4 года назад

      You know kolbert he doesn't have anything that he can be funny about unless he's taking it out on Trump he's not a good comedian Trump's the only thing he can talk about I don't call that a good comedian I thought the light shows were supposed to be funny but I guess all it is is full of hate and if anybody's dumb it's Stephen Colbert

    • @marciamarcum3596
      @marciamarcum3596 4 года назад

      @john smith well apparently John Smith you're a Nazi sympathizer so what you have to say doesn't interest me at all go go trump. 2020

    • @marciamarcum3596
      @marciamarcum3596 4 года назад

      @john smith and I'm beginning to think John Smith I see you are a Nazi so I'm not really interested in what you have to say but get this we defeated the Nazis in World War II and will defeat you to John Smith go Trump 20/20

    • @leeishere1994
      @leeishere1994 4 года назад +4

      @@marciamarcum3596 punctuation?

    • @marciamarcum3596
      @marciamarcum3596 4 года назад

      _ lady I'm 81 years old almost 82 and I don't care about punctuation it's not important to me anymore I'm not trying to get a job and then the Nazi guy you're talking to a lady that's been around a long time I've seen a lot I've seen a lot of presidents I know what I'm talkin about you don't and you're a very nasty talker your mother didn't raise you right

  • @Steelburgh
    @Steelburgh 4 года назад +132

    "Here's the agreement... it's a very simple agreement."
    **realizes a single piece of paper isn't very impressive looking**
    "This is one page of a very long and very good agreement!"

    • @velikovskysghost
      @velikovskysghost 4 года назад +4

      + Bob Buchko No doubt about it TheRump is truly the dumbest man extent.

    • @velikovskysghost
      @velikovskysghost 4 года назад

      @Scion of Madness Complex to TheRump would be like walking and chewing at the same time.

  • @Pappadumful
    @Pappadumful 4 года назад +346

    Lol, Trump doesn’t have a clue how tariffs work

    • @DPowered2
      @DPowered2 4 года назад +29

      He is at the point where even if he finds out or learns it he will double and triple down on his lie to save face

    • @VRBLNSLT
      @VRBLNSLT 4 года назад +31

      He doesnt have a clue how anything works.. better yet.. the entire concept of "work" is foreign to him, and we all know how he thinks about foreigners 🤦‍♂️😂

    • @marczhu7473
      @marczhu7473 4 года назад +1

      Did you see Liza Simpson president episode ?

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 4 года назад +24

      Trump doesn't have a clue how umbrellas work.

    • @rysun8709
      @rysun8709 4 года назад +5

      He likes the word is all

  • @Ramesess_II
    @Ramesess_II 4 года назад +60

    I like the part when he's reading the tweets with trump's voice 😂😂😂😂

    • @krishnawidardjo5777
      @krishnawidardjo5777 4 года назад +4

      You should see him dancing to the caravan. Good times

    • @189hosp6
      @189hosp6 4 года назад +6

      Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot.

    • @kathryn3950
      @kathryn3950 4 года назад +4

      That’s the voice I hear when I read anything that the orange guy says and always with dot dot dot dot

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 4 года назад +4

      Daht daht daht... 😆😆😆

    • @Ramesess_II
      @Ramesess_II 4 года назад +1

      @@judioregan4210
      I like the idiosyncrasy of his fingers and his new York accent 😂😂😂

  • @MorganMingo70
    @MorganMingo70 4 года назад +5

    I love how Stephen always follows through to get rid of his imaginary props! 🤣😂🤣😂😍

  • @jamesryan7684
    @jamesryan7684 4 года назад +33

    "Once again Trump is foiled by his arch-nemesis, sunlight and reading." Hilarious because it's so true! ... oh and Stephen has perfect delivery.

    • @willmallory9085
      @willmallory9085 4 года назад

      Yep! Just like he didn't read the Mueller report before commenting on it. I'm sure his co-author wrote most if not all of "The Art of The Deal".

  • @ememedem6476
    @ememedem6476 4 года назад +36

    Don the con is at it again...you give me your word ??🤣🤣😁

    • @richtracy8336
      @richtracy8336 4 года назад

      Emem Edem move out of mommies house she is sick of you!!

    • @maxnullifidian
      @maxnullifidian 4 года назад +1

      Sure, his word - he's got all the best words! LOL

  • @pdute1
    @pdute1 4 года назад +89

    Arch-Nemesis; Sunlight and Reading! ROFLMAO

    • @Kevin_Street
      @Kevin_Street 4 года назад +7

      We can't forget walking, wind and lettuce, too. Together they're his legion of doom.

    • @sherrifuller4424
      @sherrifuller4424 4 года назад +4

      And wind turbines...the sound causes cancer...

    • @amyelizabeth529
      @amyelizabeth529 4 года назад +2

      ...don't forget colors, shapes, object permanence, "doing words" (talking) & umbrellas.

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 4 года назад +6

      @@Kevin_Street - and toilet paper.

    • @sherrifuller4424
      @sherrifuller4424 4 года назад +2

      @@judioregan4210 Haha....how many people did he walk by that DID NOT tell him....haha

  • @deborahmulkey1627
    @deborahmulkey1627 4 года назад +67

    "It's my option to release it, whenever Mexico says it's okay for me to...."
    Ok grandpa... Now go back to your room.

    • @samanthatraversi3125
      @samanthatraversi3125 4 года назад +1

      So true, Deborah. He isn't running a thing, he's just a hysterical puppet.

  • @jeffcolorado
    @jeffcolorado 4 года назад +26

    Mr. president. I'd like to communicate to you on a level you can comprehend. "Your pants are so on fire."

    • @sandrapatterson2916
      @sandrapatterson2916 4 года назад +3

      Jeff B
      Ohhh that is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @gloriastroedecke2717
      @gloriastroedecke2717 4 года назад +2

      Jeff B Remember the commercial-"No mas pantalones"?

  • @seriesjunkie0074
    @seriesjunkie0074 4 года назад +177

    *Here's a hilarious joke...* 😁
    A tax dodger, a mob boss and a rapist go into a restaurant. The waiter comes and asks:
    "What can I get you, President Trump?" 😀😁😂🤣😃😄😆😊☺🙂😏

    • @tonyplow9219
      @tonyplow9219 4 года назад +1

      Here's, What is funny is Donald Trump is none of those things! You walk into a gay bar order the usual and the waiter puts his balls on your chin.

    • @felixleidinger1670
      @felixleidinger1670 4 года назад +26

      @@tonyplow9219 Aaand here on our tour of sad stereotypes we have the child that, angered by seeing his hero critisized, lashes out and responds with homophobic ad hominem jokes that go down to "you are gay". Neat.

    • @tonyplow9219
      @tonyplow9219 4 года назад +1

      @@felixleidinger1670 So are you now using gay as a insult? Stephens impression sounds like he is making fun of gays!

    • @hendrik457
      @hendrik457 4 года назад

      Trump a rapist? Man the left sucks at jokes

    • @obredaanps3
      @obredaanps3 4 года назад +11

      Man, the right just can't stop whining about the left.

  • @RayMak
    @RayMak 4 года назад +34

    First he attacked Rice
    Then he threatened Sushi
    Now he attacks Burrito
    Tomorrow Africa

  • @bibybuchon3703
    @bibybuchon3703 4 года назад +20

    His arch enemy is himself. And wind, of course.

  • @octaviomolina2623
    @octaviomolina2623 4 года назад +9

    Oh no!! What a terrible deal!! We don't want no Donaldo "El Guapo" Trumpistador. LOL

  • @BSEmadcow
    @BSEmadcow 4 года назад +51

    I never thought I'd see a US president dumber that Bush Jnr. 😩 The only way is up, I suppose.

    • @sharksrppl2413
      @sharksrppl2413 4 года назад +6

      These are republicans, their politicians/voters can get a whole lot dumber. . .

    • @hsk2909
      @hsk2909 4 года назад +1

      One would assume so..

    • @williamplatt1641
      @williamplatt1641 4 года назад +3

      Don't jinx us!

    • @curbmassa
      @curbmassa 4 года назад +3

      I'd love to see Junior and Trump in a debate. With subtitles.

  • @richardgreaves7521
    @richardgreaves7521 4 года назад +35

    What a ridiculous fellow! A conman to the end!

  • @marcospedroso3690
    @marcospedroso3690 4 года назад +181

    Man, this president is such a charlatan. He makes me laugh and sick at the same time.

    • @truthurts1692
      @truthurts1692 4 года назад +10

      Marcos- I used to laugh, but now I'm just sick...he makes me ashamed to be American

    • @fofofofo1182
      @fofofofo1182 4 года назад +4

      Why donot you get rid of him right now? He is insane.

    • @m.j.cicero276
      @m.j.cicero276 4 года назад +5

      @Fofo Fofo: Many of us would dearly LOVE to get rid of him, but under our constitutional structure, only Congress can save us. and, unfortunately, they don't seem inclined to do their damn job.

  • @Abbewick
    @Abbewick 4 года назад +22

    You are so good and so right!! I love your show. Trump’s presidency is a farce.

  • @krusader85
    @krusader85 4 года назад +444

    i still miss Stephen's caravan dance

    • @boughtbot2639
      @boughtbot2639 4 года назад +11

      It's the internet, you don't have to miss it!!

    • @maryelizabeth6797
      @maryelizabeth6797 4 года назад +20

      I’m sure it will be back. Just give it time. Remember that 2020 is on it’s way and all the old talking points will becoming out.

    • @makesmefeellikeatalltree8250
      @makesmefeellikeatalltree8250 4 года назад +7

      I dunno. Looks like he could pull off a helluva strip tease too.

    • @timiadetona
      @timiadetona 4 года назад +1

      🤣🤣

    • @pbrucpaul
      @pbrucpaul 4 года назад +5

      Can you just see Kushner doing an Arab caravan dance with MBS. The Douche Dance!

  • @ameliadelcastillo5424
    @ameliadelcastillo5424 4 года назад +36

    OMG! LMFAOOOO!! 😂😂🤣🤣
    Beach Squid 🦑🤣🤣😂😂🦑

  • @maymac2012
    @maymac2012 4 года назад +7

    This is one of the best episodes.

  • @Baritone45
    @Baritone45 4 года назад +13

    Trump: "I give you my word!"
    Colbert: "We'd prefer something of value."

  • @jaredfrost3548
    @jaredfrost3548 4 года назад +11

    "beached squid" .. now that is a secret!

  • @Annie-zd6rn
    @Annie-zd6rn 4 года назад +20

    Wait! It's his option but he's gotta wait for Mexico to give him the thumbs up to release it?🤔

    • @ValerieJNorse
      @ValerieJNorse 4 года назад

      They missed a golden opportunity there. I'd have loved to see Batiste's face. This is the kind of thing that he does great, baffled takes about.

  • @MuhammadAliFaraz
    @MuhammadAliFaraz 4 года назад +8

    "This is one page of a very long and a very good agreement." One page. Very long agreement. One page of a very long agreement. "Here is the agreement. It's one page."

  • @TieflingKumasi
    @TieflingKumasi 4 года назад +11

    Old McJobald had a job!
    “My tax return”! 🤣😂🤣

  • @jamesgoines7663
    @jamesgoines7663 4 года назад +407

    Your word. Hell No! Not that!
    Please give us something of value.
    Oh please!

    • @michaelaj9019
      @michaelaj9019 4 года назад +10

      Best line!

    • @markchip1
      @markchip1 4 года назад +11

      Something of value.... like your resignation??

    • @pauloandrade925
      @pauloandrade925 4 года назад +3

      You mean the I word?

    • @chrissiek8706
      @chrissiek8706 4 года назад

      @@markchip1 now that would fit on a single page 😂📄

  • @pablocruise678
    @pablocruise678 4 года назад +72

    I wish that piece of paper had blown out of his tiny hand.

    • @qxflyer
      @qxflyer 4 года назад +3

      Too funny, I had that same thought last night. How funny would it have been to see him scrambling after it before a journalist could get it?

    • @bittersweet6507
      @bittersweet6507 4 года назад +4

      Oh, if only ... that would have been the best thing ever!

    • @sandrapatterson2916
      @sandrapatterson2916 4 года назад

      Pablo Cruise
      Yeah, because his main concern wd be holding his hair in place.

  • @albertricks1927
    @albertricks1927 4 года назад +6

    The way the Prez was flashing the paper in the wind I was hoping it would get blown out of his hand and somehow end up shredded in the helicopter rotor blades. Would be so funny, and appropriate for such a fake deal.

  • @peacelife
    @peacelife 4 года назад +10

    Gosh ur take on Trump is the best and your team of research and editing are 😂👍

  • @philgalpin9284
    @philgalpin9284 4 года назад +14

    Remember, if you don't vote him out he's your president for the next six years. Or even more if he gets his way!

  • @Asher_Tye
    @Asher_Tye 4 года назад +96

    Trump's word and a dollar couldn't buy a twenty-five cent gumball.

    • @ShortieQue
      @ShortieQue 4 года назад +1

      @Asher Tye.....😲 OMGOODNESS, I Am HOWLING With Laughter! $1.00 Could Not Buy A $0.25 Bubblegum😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @reneolguin1081
    @reneolguin1081 4 года назад +1

    SEÑOR STEPHEN : MUCHAS GRACIAS! THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS "ADMINISTRATION" INTO AN EVEN A BIGGER JOKE THAN IT ALREADY IS.
    YOU TURN THE INTOLERABLE INTO A MOMENT OF LAUGHTER DAY IN AND DAY OUT.
    EL GUAPO!!! LOLOLOLOL

  • @ianh4297
    @ianh4297 4 года назад +12

    2060
    Grandchild: We just read about president trump? Was he really that stupid, it seems pretty crazy...
    Me: BOY LEMME TELL YOU IDK WHAT THE HELL WE HAD GOING ON

    • @amandageyer795
      @amandageyer795 4 года назад

      Well, sweet child, in 2016 adult coloring books came out and we were busy.

  • @markrieck1048
    @markrieck1048 4 года назад +20

    I'd love to get those props just for the opportunity to tell that joke again.
    Thanks Late Show. You help keep me sane.

    • @williamplatt1641
      @williamplatt1641 4 года назад

      It's easy to make your own...just fold a piece of paper in a trifold style and slip it into your inside jacket pocket!
      Than you just pull it out and wave it around to emphasise the point you are trying to make, but never, ever, let anybody look at it!
      Anyone can do it

  • @artembentsionov
    @artembentsionov 4 года назад +21

    The word of a habitual liar is worth less than nothing

  • @professorhineschoice
    @professorhineschoice 4 года назад +1

    This is one of Colbert’s best shows! OMG this was hilarious lol

  • @thomasridley8675
    @thomasridley8675 4 года назад +15

    He gave us his word. Damn,
    we are really screwed.

    • @Ugly_German_Truths
      @Ugly_German_Truths 4 года назад +1

      but he never keeps it... so somebody else must hold it, isn't that how logic works? :D

    • @thomasridley8675
      @thomasridley8675 4 года назад

      @@Ugly_German_Truths No one can hold your word. You say them. You own them.

  • @hollyb6885
    @hollyb6885 4 года назад +126

    And trump’s sheep believe all of his Bullsh&t. This is a sad time for America.

  • @nbmike65
    @nbmike65 4 года назад +115

    2000: Uh oh, I think the US just elected the dumbest, most embarrassing POTUS ever!
    2016: Hold my beer!

    • @carlalayne3942
      @carlalayne3942 4 года назад +1

      By far.. I'm almost always afraid to listen to him

  • @Swnsasy
    @Swnsasy 4 года назад +29

    I think his plan with Mexico is under audit too huh? 🤣🤣

  • @dennisw64
    @dennisw64 4 года назад +12

    Next... Trump will pull a dinero from Melania's ear!

  • @Jennifer-hn9lg
    @Jennifer-hn9lg 4 года назад +158

    Omg trumps literally lost his mind...please impeach him now

    • @stevedowney4056
      @stevedowney4056 4 года назад +2

      TDS/TRUMP 2020

    • @SeansModelBuilds
      @SeansModelBuilds 4 года назад +5

      Will never happen, oh wait, they said he'd never get elected in 2016. My bad, lol. Beware the Hidden Trump Voter in every poll, who won't reveal they're voting to re-elect him.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 4 года назад +6

      Lost it? What was there to lose?

    • @carlojones8610
      @carlojones8610 4 года назад +3

      @@stevedowney4056 Putin/ trump 2020 why? #ibelieveputin 🎺🕵💩

    • @MidnightJerry
      @MidnightJerry 4 года назад +7

      julie harris --- It's too late to impeach him now. People in his stage of mind can not be impeached. They are being send in a strait jacket to the lunatic asylum.

  • @LSmallCatL
    @LSmallCatL 4 года назад +21

    Since Mexico will make sure no illegal immigrants cross the border... doesn't that make the wall redundant?

    • @cent20buck71
      @cent20buck71 4 года назад +1

      @Eileen Farrar Trump's supporters think it's half done,

    • @sandrapatterson2916
      @sandrapatterson2916 4 года назад

      LSmallCatL
      Build the wall was a campaign 'rally cry' that made HIM feel good.
      Now he's waving a folded piece of paper of no value and we're supposed to be impressed. The man is so full of s--t.

  • @alexre0059
    @alexre0059 4 года назад +3

    My reaction to that last clip was literally the same thing as Colbert. Confused, eyes desperately looking for answers, quiet.

  • @jennifergridley8111
    @jennifergridley8111 4 года назад

    Stephen, your great work as a Resister and helping us cope using comedy, should win you all kinds of awards!! You're just amazing. I laugh so hard every single night!! Thank you, sir!! ☮️💜🌈

  • @chessdad182
    @chessdad182 4 года назад +42

    We prefer something of value. LOL. This is a primo episode.

  • @RealXstream2
    @RealXstream2 4 года назад +8

    Someone like Jim Acosta should have called him out with a trade like “show us that sheet of paper right now an if it contains what you say it does, I’ll resign immediately.
    Would be interesting to see what happens next.

  • @BiGG_X
    @BiGG_X 4 года назад +3

    Could you imagine being around someone like Trump every day? Just listening to him talk on the news makes my skin crawl.

    • @lacedboxa
      @lacedboxa 4 года назад

      Could you imagine crying that Trump won everyday? How sad.

  • @tinkerermelon6599
    @tinkerermelon6599 4 года назад +22

    Ok, the "tax returns on the top third of the page" joke got me. That was really good.

  • @blankshh
    @blankshh 4 года назад +69

    Stephen 🤣💣👍 keep calling him oft you are doing a fantastic job

    • @kevinsmoth5055
      @kevinsmoth5055 4 года назад +1

      No he is not......All you liberals are the ones whacked

    • @BenChod3
      @BenChod3 4 года назад

      She’s mentally deranged she can’t even spell Michelle correctly...
      Liberal lunatic

  • @augustbirkebo332
    @augustbirkebo332 4 года назад +31

    sunlight and reading are his arch-nemeses? so basically he's a dyslexic vampire?

    • @yogeshwargupta6919
      @yogeshwargupta6919 4 года назад +2

      Hey, dyslexia is a serious thing. Don't make it a joke by linking it to this guy...

    • @yogeshwargupta6919
      @yogeshwargupta6919 4 года назад +1

      @markmac Couldn't have said it better😂
      But honestly though, dyslexic people can be smart. This guy on the other hand............................. clearly isn't

  • @KellySmith-gp9tq
    @KellySmith-gp9tq 4 года назад +18

    For all we know that is his McDonalds and KFC order for AFONE!

  • @marcy3098
    @marcy3098 4 года назад +5

    Actually, Sherwin Williams color #405 is closer to a dead squirrel color called Stock Pot 😂😂

  • @AThagoras
    @AThagoras 4 года назад +14

    "Beached squid" ROFL

  • @scherrypierce
    @scherrypierce 4 года назад +11

    Oh Boy! Trump strikes AGAIN! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

  • @Dave-bo8ry
    @Dave-bo8ry 4 года назад +10

    Let's ask contractors that did any work for the Trump organization over the course of 40 years about the value of his word, let alone a written contract he has signed.

    • @shuheihisagi7851
      @shuheihisagi7851 4 года назад

      Word, I second that!

    • @katiebrown1177
      @katiebrown1177 Год назад

      Both my grandfather and great uncle did work for him and it took years until they were finally paid cause trump refused to pay

  • @rayherbst6655
    @rayherbst6655 4 года назад +10

    It’s impossible to cleanse the palate when you’re constantly vomiting 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮