Trump's Super Secret Agreement With Mexico
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- Опубликовано: 11 июн 2019
- President Trump is assuring everyone that his secret agreement with Mexico is incredible, genius, and DEFINITELY real. #LSSC #Colbert #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes. 
Развлечения
Stephen's impersonation of Trump always makes me laugh out loud.
Trump's impersonation of himself far too often makes me choke...
I know right, I'm not even American
Best impression from all the late shows
"I just gave you my word."
We would prefer something of value!
Brilliant!
Trump gives us his word.
We promptly drop it in the dustbin of history and wash our hands multiple times.
More like autistic.
"My word is useless and tainted, that's why I'm giving it to you"
@@TechnoGeek18023 a blast furnace couldn't sterilize his paws
I do not agree with Trump or his behavior. But I won't bash the man day in and day out. I even disagreed with Obama and questioned his actions often, but never went so far as bashing him. I just know he too wasn't the best representation of president.
5:42
Trump: "I just give you my word."
Stephen: "We would prefer something of value."
lololololol *savage*
Stephen Colbert just continues to get better and BETTER!!
Eric Koontz at what?! Seriously talk show host is one step down from game show host.. Not exactly a lifetime achievement pal. And for the record without Trump living rent free in this vapid excuse for a man's head he would have zero material. Shouldn't you be finishing up your gender reassignment surgery or marching w a pussy hat on for the right to kill babies?
You Vote for a Clown... You get a Show 😉
M. Rodrigo Lemus, no, you get a freakin’ circus!!! And we’re way under the big top!!
Brain washed idiots! Trump best president ever! Think about when Obama was in office.. How many place did you see with hiring signs!? Now with Trump... Everyone is hiring and having to compete with hire wages! You all stay brain washed. Another 3 years coming out of your democratic brain wash you all will thank us!
@@RussDaChamp You'd benefit by actually reading the entire article. www.washingtonpost.com/business/2018/08/10/america-wage-growth-is-getting-wiped-out-entirely-by-inflation/?noredirect=on&.1ec20614dc10
@@RussDaChamp you're so STUPID! Your so-called declaration doesn't even have the correct spelling, so you're dismissed!😂😂😂
@@RussDaChamp girl stop your making my very large ah-brain hurt🤣🤣🤣🤣
LMAO... "It's my option, not Mexico's, but I'll release it when Mexico says it's ok to release it"
zmast33..I know I mean wtf is wrong trump's brain????
Of course he meant Putin.
@@Rhiannon011
Well for starters it operates his mouth.
At first I thought I heard it wrong but then realized nope he actually said that dumbness.
@orphan 200 It's the same blank piece of magic paper. Only those with mental disabilities can see the writing. Unfortunately, the GOP left the biggest nut run the nuthouse. If only someone with ANY qualifications were running things...
"Once again, Trump is foiled by his arch nemesis, sunlight & reading."
OMG. I'm dying. 😂
His arch nemesis "The Truth"
Once again...Trump is foiled by his arch nemesis....
Sunlight & Reading! 🤣🤣🤣
Hilarious!
Wind and rain is a phobia also
Sunlight burns my skin, and reading burns my eyes!
"I totally have a girlfriend. Totally. She's in Canada. No, you can't meet her."
"I give you my word"
"We would rather something of value"
Perfect
The greatest reality show in the world, lol.
@@189hosp6 I hope it ends soon.
@@wf6951 same here
😁😁😁
Another installment of Ripley's Believe It or Not!!!😃
Well, I don't believe any of it.
I wish that we could seal trump up in a jar of formaldehyde like a 2-headed calf fetus at Ripley's. If we could, the world would be a better place for everyone.
Seems that way to sane people, however Christians are bigots and childm0lesters. As long as Trump continues to preach hate against minorities and hides out in child pageant locker rooms, he will always have the full support of Christian America.
Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Why hasn’t anyone in his administration told him it’s 3 dots?
Oh yes because he has to be BIGGER, and BETTER and have the most amazing amount of dots you’ve ever seen! 🤪🤣
They don't know either.
Just be thankful he can't put the dots in a bigger font.
This has now become the best comedy series. Can't stop laughing
Benjamin Tetteh you should hear the original from the white house! That dude’s act is gold! Bankrupt gold, but still.
"With a JOB JOB here and a JOB JOB there" 😅😅😅
Yet not a living wage.❤️💔
You mean.......everywhere a job, job?
Labor wages in this country have stagnated because of illegal immigration Mary Elizabeth.
@@briancorr3668 labor wages gave stagnated for everything, do illegal immigrants do every job you think ? Or is it maybe that more of the wealth produced goes to the owner class ?
Yes. Labor is labor, you don’t have to know how to read, write, or speak English to be a laborer. In every low skilled sector of the work force where communication with consumers is not required you will find illegals.
I laughed, I cried, I wet the bed! That monologue was firing on all cylinders Stephen. Keep it up!
It's like dementia became a world leader
😂😂😂
I wish a reporter would have trolled him and said: "if you dont read it, it is fake news"
It is time they call out his bs infront of him
@Cellar Dwellers they might be Held back ..... Not allowed to call trump out
@Miguel ibarra .. that would not be trolling, that would be doing their job. I dont think kids today know what trolling is!
@Cellar Dwellers absolutely wrong ... there are thousands of journalists and you think not one of them is a "real" journalist
Miguel, I wish Donald Trump would smack your teeth out of your mouth!
It's a very simple agreement. It's one page of a very long agreement. -- Huh?!
A.E. Jabbour To be fair, that _is_ very long to Trump. He can’t read anything above one sentence without struggling. Pre-school kids are mentally more developed.
A.E. Jabbour
For a nation’s Chief Executive, he has incredible verbal skills.
that's because he is lying
Maybe the "secret agreement" is like Trump: it rambles on and on for minutes at a time, but ultimately says next to nothing.
@@TravisNewton1 OK, that's a very good point which I should have considered. :)
HOW MUCH MORE DOES HE NEED TO LIE B4 WE TAKE HIM OUT?!! If he was your employee you would have fired him in less than 30 days!!
Eddy Volt bullshit, I wouldn’t have hired him to begin with.
@@The_Spectre_Gamer lol! Good one!
This was so damn spot on 😂🤣 Go Colbert lmao
A professional liar's favorite phrase " I give you my word
Mine is: "Not a lot of people/Nobody knows this" because it means: "I just made this up" or "I just learnt this"
He can take his word and shove it.
@@couragekarnga8735 Good words to utter into his pink, shell-like ear-hole.
Trump has "Believe me" trademarked
Brant Lambermont
Trust me.
Farmers best friend is the tractor... not the traitor
Well said.
👏🙌
Now that's profound..Lol.
*_oof_*
Thats a very good one!
Colbert IS on fire....so much material to work with!!!!
Chatty Cathy
All tRump has to do is open his dumb mouth and Colbert & team takes it from there.
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant Colbert 😂😂 oh, my cardiac...
...once again foiled by his arch nemesis - sunlight and reading...
🙏😂😂
colbert only the clown make some thing funny . !
Revealed at the appropriate time = Once we have a good story(lie).
trump thinks farm is spelled E-I-E- I-O.
"We're waiting for something good to happen so we can claim credit"
😄😄😄
EIEIO IOU
I give you my word. We would prefer something of value. LMAO
Fools gold has greater value than #45's word.
@DrMossydog a fool's shyte's vapour has more value...
And something that you could Trust
👊🏿
And the winner of the award for "Best one-liner of a Talk Show in 2019" goes to... Stephen! Stephen Stephen!
5:45 -- Trumpski: "I just give you my word." -- Stephen: "We would prefer something of value."
By "Trumpski" you make him Polish. You make him Russian by "Trumpov".
@@Jan-vv1zk -- Thanks for that 'nationality-in-a-name' correction. I saw that nickname and used it, because just as to many others, that sounded russian to me; just put 'ski' behind anything and ... voila. Now I'm informed, and I will use 'Trumpov'. Thus doing my small part in getting the reference to the trump-russia connection right. So thanks for that.
@@tubularap i am really happy you took it that way and not in a way i would try to offend you or something. You are a good confident person and you are welcome. :)
@@Jan-vv1zk - Your concern about the reception of your comment shows your high-empathy. That touches me. I too was hoping my reaction to you was taken as the serious appreciation as it was meant, and not as jokey cynicism or such. Did I express myself unambiguous enough, I wondered. Here we have 'only' words to communicate with.
So in reference to the origin of this thread: Some people's words have no meaning or value. While the words of others show their full heart, soul and character. Like you did. You are welcome too :)
I just call him a douché canoe...
With love from Calgary Alberta
Ps. I'm not sorry.... just sayin', eh.
I'll give Trump credit for one thing: he _absolutely_ represents the sort of people who voted for him.
Do you think Trump watches his interviews afterwards, and thinks "wow, I was so good !" ?
YOu know he does, he makes everybody watch.." How bout that hair? huh, looks good doesn't it? oh shit-wind blowing...Not the Scalpppppppp".....
He only watches the Fox version though
Definitely!
And I thought Trump was just holding a blank piece of paper for future doodles.
So did I.
"I give you my word", just as believable as when he said "I can't release my taxes, I'm under audit".
*You ARE a LibTard & a SnowFlake & You are BuTT Burn dat Trump WON!!!!*
@@Justin.Martyr na
Serge Somborac Thé IRS refuted that
Every day, Trump opens his mouth and reaches new heights of weirdness.
Exactly. And all his cult members on fox news and across the nation believe their dear leader.
Robyn Richards- and new lows of verbal diarrhoea. 💩💩💩
Judi O'Regan: The word you're looking for is logorrhea.
@@sdfkjgh - cheers mate! 👍
Weirdness is too nice of a word more like stupidity
Mexico will not pay for those chalupas!!!!!!
It's interesting on levels I thought we don't have to have, we dont chase parked cars but it feels like it when you listen to our President they really bringing the best... best at what and don't say band camp...sorry for not saying so sooner My ame is Ed I'm using Sherrys cellular device to send a shout out to the best friend I had in a minute. Stay up "general hospital "
Nestor Mancillas 😂😂🌮🇲🇽
Trump's magic trick with a sheet of paper:"Now you don't see it...now you don't."
Trump's whole life has been a shell gams.
I like the part where he says it is totally up to his discretion, but only after mexico authorizes him to show it!😆😆😆
What a load of horseapples!
Mexico president is laughing at trump just like everybody else!! 🤣
puerto vallarta?
How about the whole world is laughing at President Pennywise? He's a moron.
I'm not a Straight White Male citizens who are also cartel members and were involved in rival fighting. Please don’t talk about what you don’t know
@@armandoperez9384 those are citizens, the sicarios are recruited from the common population. It is basically a civil war for drug profit.
@I'm not a Straight White Male my children's father and his wife vacated there a few weeks ago and they LOVED it
Oh man this one's gold Stephen just gold 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ROFL Donaldo El Guapo Trumpistador who the hell comes up with this stuff so gooooood
Tronald Dump?
Is this a Three Amigos reference?
Spoilers
@@artembentsionov haha who knows, to what paramount do you structure your question?
Trump's utter lack of intelligence will never fail to amuse.
@Mike Urashevich and scary
TheReal008Zulu
“Amuse” carries pleasant overtones.
But there’s nothing pleasant about this man.
He's a "very stable genius" LMAO!!!
Tragic and very sad. Bigly!
“This is a very simple agreement.... this is one page of a very long agreement”
#WorstPresidentEver #DumbestPersonEver
Dumbest?
It was close enough I get the sentiments
Glad somebody caught that🤣
Mikel One 😂🤣😂🤣 spellcheck is not my friend
Trump you is with out a shadow of a doubt the world dumbest son of a b****
Stephen’s delivery is impeccable! I’m soo happy for his Writers - must be a joy to see your work delivered with such precision 👌
Confirmed. Mexico is better at deals than Trump
A toddler makes better deals in kindergarten
A drunk frog could make a better deal than that cretin, let alone Mexico
Flyinghigh, Then move to Mexico and enjoy their prosperity!
@@spookyryu What is a desls?
@paso fino good I never said I wished any ill on Mexico.
Ok why would it be in his pocket? Like do they not own envelopes and briefcases in the US White House? Lol
Simple, He knew that the wording would show through, and it said what he wanted it to say, Like writing your own excuse note to get out of school.
Yes, why would ANY official document be folded up in his pocket?? Considering that it was less than ⅓ of a page it was probably His briefing on the whole Mexico Trade Agreement put in small words.
It's a secret agreement with Mexico.
Just don't tell Mexico ;-)
You know kolbert he doesn't have anything that he can be funny about unless he's taking it out on Trump he's not a good comedian Trump's the only thing he can talk about I don't call that a good comedian I thought the light shows were supposed to be funny but I guess all it is is full of hate and if anybody's dumb it's Stephen Colbert
@john smith well apparently John Smith you're a Nazi sympathizer so what you have to say doesn't interest me at all go go trump. 2020
@john smith and I'm beginning to think John Smith I see you are a Nazi so I'm not really interested in what you have to say but get this we defeated the Nazis in World War II and will defeat you to John Smith go Trump 20/20
@@marciamarcum3596 punctuation？
_ lady I'm 81 years old almost 82 and I don't care about punctuation it's not important to me anymore I'm not trying to get a job and then the Nazi guy you're talking to a lady that's been around a long time I've seen a lot I've seen a lot of presidents I know what I'm talkin about you don't and you're a very nasty talker your mother didn't raise you right
"Here's the agreement... it's a very simple agreement."
**realizes a single piece of paper isn't very impressive looking**
"This is one page of a very long and very good agreement!"
+ Bob Buchko No doubt about it TheRump is truly the dumbest man extent.
@Scion of Madness Complex to TheRump would be like walking and chewing at the same time.
Lol, Trump doesn’t have a clue how tariffs work
He is at the point where even if he finds out or learns it he will double and triple down on his lie to save face
He doesnt have a clue how anything works.. better yet.. the entire concept of "work" is foreign to him, and we all know how he thinks about foreigners 🤦♂️😂
Did you see Liza Simpson president episode ?
Trump doesn't have a clue how umbrellas work.
He likes the word is all
I like the part when he's reading the tweets with trump's voice 😂😂😂😂
You should see him dancing to the caravan. Good times
Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot. Dot.
That’s the voice I hear when I read anything that the orange guy says and always with dot dot dot dot
Daht daht daht... 😆😆😆
@@judioregan4210
I like the idiosyncrasy of his fingers and his new York accent 😂😂😂
I love how Stephen always follows through to get rid of his imaginary props! 🤣😂🤣😂😍
"Once again Trump is foiled by his arch-nemesis, sunlight and reading." Hilarious because it's so true! ... oh and Stephen has perfect delivery.
Yep! Just like he didn't read the Mueller report before commenting on it. I'm sure his co-author wrote most if not all of "The Art of The Deal".
Don the con is at it again...you give me your word ??🤣🤣😁
Emem Edem move out of mommies house she is sick of you!!
Sure, his word - he's got all the best words! LOL
Arch-Nemesis; Sunlight and Reading! ROFLMAO
We can't forget walking, wind and lettuce, too. Together they're his legion of doom.
And wind turbines...the sound causes cancer...
...don't forget colors, shapes, object permanence, "doing words" (talking) & umbrellas.
@@Kevin_Street - and toilet paper.
@@judioregan4210 Haha....how many people did he walk by that DID NOT tell him....haha
"It's my option to release it, whenever Mexico says it's okay for me to...."
Ok grandpa... Now go back to your room.
So true, Deborah. He isn't running a thing, he's just a hysterical puppet.
Mr. president. I'd like to communicate to you on a level you can comprehend. "Your pants are so on fire."
Jeff B
Ohhh that is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Jeff B Remember the commercial-"No mas pantalones"?
*Here's a hilarious joke...* 😁
A tax dodger, a mob boss and a rapist go into a restaurant. The waiter comes and asks:
"What can I get you, President Trump?" 😀😁😂🤣😃😄😆😊☺🙂😏
Here's, What is funny is Donald Trump is none of those things! You walk into a gay bar order the usual and the waiter puts his balls on your chin.
@@tonyplow9219 Aaand here on our tour of sad stereotypes we have the child that, angered by seeing his hero critisized, lashes out and responds with homophobic ad hominem jokes that go down to "you are gay". Neat.
@@felixleidinger1670 So are you now using gay as a insult? Stephens impression sounds like he is making fun of gays!
Trump a rapist? Man the left sucks at jokes
Man, the right just can't stop whining about the left.
First he attacked Rice
Then he threatened Sushi
Now he attacks Burrito
Tomorrow Africa
His arch enemy is himself. And wind, of course.
Oh no!! What a terrible deal!! We don't want no Donaldo "El Guapo" Trumpistador. LOL
I never thought I'd see a US president dumber that Bush Jnr. 😩 The only way is up, I suppose.
These are republicans, their politicians/voters can get a whole lot dumber. . .
One would assume so..
Don't jinx us!
I'd love to see Junior and Trump in a debate. With subtitles.
What a ridiculous fellow! A conman to the end!
Man, this president is such a charlatan. He makes me laugh and sick at the same time.
Marcos- I used to laugh, but now I'm just sick...he makes me ashamed to be American
Why donot you get rid of him right now? He is insane.
@Fofo Fofo: Many of us would dearly LOVE to get rid of him, but under our constitutional structure, only Congress can save us. and, unfortunately, they don't seem inclined to do their damn job.
You are so good and so right!! I love your show. Trump’s presidency is a farce.
i still miss Stephen's caravan dance
It's the internet, you don't have to miss it!!
I’m sure it will be back. Just give it time. Remember that 2020 is on it’s way and all the old talking points will becoming out.
I dunno. Looks like he could pull off a helluva strip tease too.
🤣🤣
Can you just see Kushner doing an Arab caravan dance with MBS. The Douche Dance!
OMG! LMFAOOOO!! 😂😂🤣🤣
Beach Squid 🦑🤣🤣😂😂🦑
This is one of the best episodes.
Trump: "I give you my word!"
Colbert: "We'd prefer something of value."
"beached squid" .. now that is a secret!
Wait! It's his option but he's gotta wait for Mexico to give him the thumbs up to release it?🤔
They missed a golden opportunity there. I'd have loved to see Batiste's face. This is the kind of thing that he does great, baffled takes about.
"This is one page of a very long and a very good agreement." One page. Very long agreement. One page of a very long agreement. "Here is the agreement. It's one page."
Old McJobald had a job!
“My tax return”! 🤣😂🤣
Your word. Hell No! Not that!
Please give us something of value.
Oh please!
Best line!
Something of value.... like your resignation??
You mean the I word?
@@markchip1 now that would fit on a single page 😂📄
I wish that piece of paper had blown out of his tiny hand.
Too funny, I had that same thought last night. How funny would it have been to see him scrambling after it before a journalist could get it?
Oh, if only ... that would have been the best thing ever!
Pablo Cruise
Yeah, because his main concern wd be holding his hair in place.
The way the Prez was flashing the paper in the wind I was hoping it would get blown out of his hand and somehow end up shredded in the helicopter rotor blades. Would be so funny, and appropriate for such a fake deal.
Gosh ur take on Trump is the best and your team of research and editing are 😂👍
Remember, if you don't vote him out he's your president for the next six years. Or even more if he gets his way!
Trump's word and a dollar couldn't buy a twenty-five cent gumball.
@Asher Tye.....😲 OMGOODNESS, I Am HOWLING With Laughter! $1.00 Could Not Buy A $0.25 Bubblegum😂😂😂😂😂😂
SEÑOR STEPHEN : MUCHAS GRACIAS! THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS "ADMINISTRATION" INTO AN EVEN A BIGGER JOKE THAN IT ALREADY IS.
YOU TURN THE INTOLERABLE INTO A MOMENT OF LAUGHTER DAY IN AND DAY OUT.
EL GUAPO!!! LOLOLOLOL
2060
Grandchild: We just read about president trump? Was he really that stupid, it seems pretty crazy...
Me: BOY LEMME TELL YOU IDK WHAT THE HELL WE HAD GOING ON
Well, sweet child, in 2016 adult coloring books came out and we were busy.
I'd love to get those props just for the opportunity to tell that joke again.
Thanks Late Show. You help keep me sane.
It's easy to make your own...just fold a piece of paper in a trifold style and slip it into your inside jacket pocket!
Than you just pull it out and wave it around to emphasise the point you are trying to make, but never, ever, let anybody look at it!
Anyone can do it
The word of a habitual liar is worth less than nothing
This is one of Colbert’s best shows! OMG this was hilarious lol
He gave us his word. Damn,
we are really screwed.
but he never keeps it... so somebody else must hold it, isn't that how logic works? :D
@@Ugly_German_Truths No one can hold your word. You say them. You own them.
And trump’s sheep believe all of his Bullsh&t. This is a sad time for America.
2000: Uh oh, I think the US just elected the dumbest, most embarrassing POTUS ever!
2016: Hold my beer!
By far.. I'm almost always afraid to listen to him
I think his plan with Mexico is under audit too huh? 🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
Next... Trump will pull a dinero from Melania's ear!
Omg trumps literally lost his mind...please impeach him now
TDS/TRUMP 2020
Will never happen, oh wait, they said he'd never get elected in 2016. My bad, lol. Beware the Hidden Trump Voter in every poll, who won't reveal they're voting to re-elect him.
Lost it? What was there to lose?
@@stevedowney4056 Putin/ trump 2020 why? #ibelieveputin 🎺🕵💩
julie harris --- It's too late to impeach him now. People in his stage of mind can not be impeached. They are being send in a strait jacket to the lunatic asylum.
Since Mexico will make sure no illegal immigrants cross the border... doesn't that make the wall redundant?
@Eileen Farrar Trump's supporters think it's half done,
LSmallCatL
Build the wall was a campaign 'rally cry' that made HIM feel good.
Now he's waving a folded piece of paper of no value and we're supposed to be impressed. The man is so full of s--t.
My reaction to that last clip was literally the same thing as Colbert. Confused, eyes desperately looking for answers, quiet.
Stephen, your great work as a Resister and helping us cope using comedy, should win you all kinds of awards!! You're just amazing. I laugh so hard every single night!! Thank you, sir!! ☮️💜🌈
We prefer something of value. LOL. This is a primo episode.
Someone like Jim Acosta should have called him out with a trade like “show us that sheet of paper right now an if it contains what you say it does, I’ll resign immediately.
Would be interesting to see what happens next.
Could you imagine being around someone like Trump every day? Just listening to him talk on the news makes my skin crawl.
Could you imagine crying that Trump won everyday? How sad.
Ok, the "tax returns on the top third of the page" joke got me. That was really good.
Stephen 🤣💣👍 keep calling him oft you are doing a fantastic job
No he is not......All you liberals are the ones whacked
She’s mentally deranged she can’t even spell Michelle correctly...
Liberal lunatic
sunlight and reading are his arch-nemeses? so basically he's a dyslexic vampire?
Hey, dyslexia is a serious thing. Don't make it a joke by linking it to this guy...
@markmac Couldn't have said it better😂
But honestly though, dyslexic people can be smart. This guy on the other hand............................. clearly isn't
For all we know that is his McDonalds and KFC order for AFONE!
Actually, Sherwin Williams color #405 is closer to a dead squirrel color called Stock Pot 😂😂
🐾 😹 😹 😹 🐾
"Beached squid" ROFL
Oh Boy! Trump strikes AGAIN! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Let's ask contractors that did any work for the Trump organization over the course of 40 years about the value of his word, let alone a written contract he has signed.
Word, I second that!
Both my grandfather and great uncle did work for him and it took years until they were finally paid cause trump refused to pay
It’s impossible to cleanse the palate when you’re constantly vomiting 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮