"Keeping quiet keeps the peace until I realized who's peace is it keeping?" So many feeling around that. Such a powerful statement for us people pleasers. ❤
I got so emotional listening to you. I fet you were speaking to me personally. Currently, my husband and I are in a disconnecting mode. His favorite word is wanting peace without discussing anything. He doesn't want me to talk about my feelings, my workloads, whatever situation our children are going through, even his health. He believes God will take care of everything and when the situation becomes critical. I take on the miss fix it, super woman person. I am now learning to LET GO. Thank you. One love.
OMG - I just found this podcast, and ordered Dr. Bryant's book "Homecoming". I am 62 yrs young, and was listening while doing my mundane, repetitive job to engange my mind. After hearing her tell the West African fable about the eagle, and her comments afterwards why she wrote the book, I (silently) burst out crying to myself. I feel like I have spent most of my 40 years of working hiding my true gifts and voice that God gave me doing mundane "chicken jobs" to survive and support my son (divorced mom) and mom. I look forward to retiring in the next year or 2, and FINALLY use the talent God has given me. Also Mel, I just want to say, everytime you close saying "I love you" really speaks to my heart. I don't know why because I do have those in my life telling me that daily. Maybe your voice is deep like my Mom's, and it reminds me of her? Anyway, THANK YOU for using your gift and talent to produce this show to the world.
Thanks Mel! I’m still trying to figure things out at 74 yrs old. We never stop learning and your shows are so helpful and informative. I appreciate your honesty and kindness.
My parents told me the cops would take me away because I was a horrible child and the bad one, not them. I was terrified of being abandoned and it didn't help that my mother would talk about having a great life if she didn't have my sisters and I. Once on a cold rainy night in winter when I was 5 I wastold to go back to school to find my homework reader. I vividly remember trying the classroom doors but they were all locked and being frightened that I would be beaten when I got home. As a result no teacher no matter the punishment could get me to do homework right up until I left school. I'm surprised I learnt anything and thought I was stupid, but after leaving school discovered I was smarter than I thought. I put it down to fact I could speed read and always had my nose in a book. The older people I worked with were always very kind and encouraging, I don't think they realised just how much they helped me, after years of abuse I expected it from them too, and am grateful for the way they looked out for me. Even today I'm very suprised at how successful I've been, I really didn't think I would amount to much in my life.
@@kitkat186 This is encouraging to read. I have a grandchild experiencing this. My SO is a NARC. I did not realize or put it together as I had been led to believe my entire life I was the problem Raised by a narc, married a narc and have narc kids. I get and keep my grand at least once a month. She is quite spirited and gifted. I cry a lot over the things they say and do to her. And of course she is the problem and to blame. Not them. It started as an infant. Leaving her in her crib to scream cause she was interfering with their fun...
47:28 “it’s going to require some losses, some people aren’t going to be happy with the new you. They like the quiet you, the compliant you, the doormat”
That really hit me. I am the one who is quiet and compliant and people love me for it at work. They are programming me to stay and co tinge being that way as that's how I feel valued. I need to start being OK with being a disruptor and valuing my own peace. My peace is my priority...
@teresal2175 so true! I lost myself in a toxic government job I began a year ago. This podcast made me realize I need to make some concrete plans to find something else and return to my true self. We can do it! 🙂
I have been watching the Mel Robbins podcast daily for 7 months. This is by far - the BEST podcast I have heard and seen!! All people need to be taught, why we think the way we do? And how it affects ourselves and others. They're so many lies we tell ourselves. And sometimes that's why we allow other people, to treat us badly. A lesson I am learning late in life. Thank you both, so much... This is beautiful and amazing!!!! Eye opening... Healing is vital to one's soul! 🙏❤️
I have been emotionally homeless and now at 65 I understand why. Looking forward to reading this book and giving peace to myself. No longer hopeless,, Thank you!!!
That African fable made me cry. I can relate to this. I am 56 and feel like I don't know myself. I grew up in an abusive home and lots of trauma...thus makes sense
It made me look at things differently. How many see me and my children 1 way(chicken). But in the last 5 yrs we have changed our courses, separately, but still changing.
The anointing on that women is amazing and beautiful!! The way she speaks and communicates her knowledge and suggestions is so beautiful and transparent! This episode was a masterpiece!! Thank you Mel for allowing God and the universe to use you and your gifts to help and inspire. You both are amazing powerful women!! I’m on my journey home baby!!! Let’s get it!!
Psychological homelessness--You’ve gotten busy but not healed! You are so right! 😢🙌🏽🙌🏽I don’t want to be driven; I want to be called! The reason you feel unsettled is because you’re not supposed to settle!
A server, a fixer, self declared foot soldier, giver, mother hen, be the least, give away what you crave the most and it will come back to you.. loyalty never came now I’m directing it inward to myself with the help of Mel Robbins podcasts.
I wonder if other people are also catching the prompt to determine who the "farmer" may be in your life. The people who are fine with you not knowing your greatness...
My wife told me something similar to the chicken/eagle saying. When we were first dating, she told me I had settled. From that point I became restless with energy to do more. Now I'm in the process of starting a business doing what I love to do. I love this podcast.
Thanks for having Dr. Tamar Bryant on your Podcast. I listen to the video while I was walking my daily 2 miles, learn a lot and brought her book off Amazon. Looking forward to the new me!
Thank you for this episode! 🙏🏼💖I’m 39 years old and finding myself homeless, forced out of my house and abusive relationship, getting divorced and starting over my life! I needed to hear this and I need to welcome myself back home to being myself again and being alive. Better days are ahead. Gods plan not mine!
I was homeless in 2016, then facing it again in 2021 after a breakup with a cheater. Starting over, moving away at 61. Yeah. Get in touch with your power, Jen. I’ve never felt as strong as the last 2 yrs. I realized resiliency was my superpower. You’ll find yours!
Why did I cry when right at the very end, Dr. Thema said, “…welcome home.” 😭 I can’t tell you how many times I have cried in my decades on this earth saying over and over again, “I want to go home-I want to go home.” I feel like a prayer was answered for me in discovering this healing gem. Thank you Mel and Dr. Thema. 💕
“There is more to you than what they see and also they see the vastness of you, and they don’t like it” wow can I like this session twice because I’m over here crying at 1am ready to quit my toxic job I just started. I need her as my therapist
I wasn’t sure why this was recommended to me but I clicked on it and I’m 30 minutes in and I’m crying like a baby. I so needed this video, thank you ladies ❤
I am going home to that small firecracker of a smart ambitious confident happy carefree powerful untraumatized beautiful girl....I have missed her and felt disconnected for soooo long 😢
The part about saying I love you only when it feels real. I had an amazing childhood but I don’t recall my parents ever telling me they loved me, even though I know they truly did and still do. Now that I have kids myself it 90% of the time feels not real to me when I tell them I love them, but I am “training” myself to remember to tell them and hope it will make it easier for them to express it when they’re older. The older my kids get the more things I uncover that I wish I had as a child, and make every effort to make sure my kids don’t miss out on these things.
“The reason we are unsettled is because we are not supposed to settle”… WOW! 🤯 love this video and Dr. Bryant. Definitely going in my favorites folder to revisit and share. Thank you both 💞
Love her line on, “keeping the peace”...at what cost, and what it does to the body. This professor has been so profound in explaining how trauma affects us.
I am back here and am highlighting the part - "Before I eat something, can I say 'I am eating this because I love myself'?" , I am an impulsive eater, emotional eater and this CHANGED my life. What a beautiful statement for us @themabryant .
This is probably one of the best episodes of the Podcast. No unnecessary distraction or repetitions, simply good therapeutic discussion on life and healing. Thank you Mel, thank you Dr. Thema Bryant, this is a beautiful conversation. Also, "Just because this one is better does not mean it is good" - should be preached as a sermon. Thank you
1. Does the state of your life internally or externally fall short of what you imagined? 2. Did you obtain what you thought you wanted only to discover you still feel empty and unfulfilled? 3. Do you have a sense of powerlessness or hopelessness? 4. Do you lack the energy or motivation to pursue the things that used to matter to you? 5. Do you feel there are no words to capture the ache in your heart? 6. Do you find yourself crying often or does it seem impossible to cry?
THIS is so POWERFUL! Trauma drives; coming home to purpose is more natural.. I forget the quote! But sooo good. Also, if someone has really bad attitude they are wounded and have been taught sadness is weakness! It’s a form of depression! Waiting for someone who hurt you to heal is pointless. Forgiveness is for yourself more than the other.. although it does help the other too! Reason we feel unsettled is because we aren’t supposed to settle! For me it’s my career! Physiological homelessness is that feeling of being ungrounded and not sure. They don’t know what to do. 27:00 is where I can find 6 questions to ask if we are homeless! I def am!
Absolutely phenomenal, Mel !!! Dr Bryant is absolutely prolific, authentic, and a total game-changer in the realm of psychology and the path to self -awareness and self-actualization. Please bring her back. It would be great if you could have a panel discussion with Dr Bryant, Dr Russell Kennedy, and Dr Gabor Mate as they really have a grasp on the impacts of trauma on the human psyche and body.
I tried all the approaches (softness,transparency, openness) Dr Thema mentions in this video but it didn't matter what I did, nothing worked.The mistrust he felt(from previous experiences),just kept growing.I became more and more disconnected from myself trying to do everything his way, trying to please him wherever possible. But the moment I realised I wasn't being true to myself and started putting boundaries in place, things fell apart very quickly. We are now getting divorced. I struggle daily with the fact that I had to choose between my relationship and my soul.... Choosing myself came at great cost,but choosing my husband would have come at an even greater cost
A couple nights ago, I was stepping my spouse through the story I'll be telling at a keynote the week after next. When I was done, he said "For a brief moment, I saw YOU come BACK." I've been suppressing myself for about 2 years now in a situation I know isn't sustainable or even viable... and RUclips keeps recommending stuff to me to make sure I KNOW it's time for a change. Thanks for being a part of that process.
I said YES to ALL 6 questions. There are times when I'm just mentally num.. mentally paralyzed. I know I'd never do the unthinkable, but I think about it all the time. I see everyone around me succeed at what they want, living and taking actions with their goals and dreams. I think of mine... but that's it. I have a beautiful horse to show and ride, and I feel I let him down too..I'm not good enough
I paused a moment when you mentioned your horse and then noticed it 😍 in your profile pic. Beautiful! I do not have a horse but your message resonated with me. I left NYC about 2 years ago to start over in a small town down south. I adopted a shelter dog, who I adore but I also feel like I am letting him down. I have become very lazy a d do not walk him for as long as I should. I wanted to get him a dog friend, but getting my yard fenced is taking way too long. I know he is bored terribly. I have depression and hope it is not rubbing off on him. He is a mixed breed dog and nearly every breed that makes up his combination is a very active breed. Definitely feel like I am letting him down as I slog along at my own life. I keep waiting to *have energy* but they rarely if ever happens. Last night I slept over 12 hours, only to wake up still feeling dead tired. I know things will ultimately work out, but not fast enough for my liking. I hope in these comments you are finding compassion and understanding. 🤗
@@amg9163 Thank you for your kind words, that means a lot :) I always cheering others on, maybe to deflect b/c of how I feel at times. I know they say that getting out and walking/JUST MOVING YOUR BODY helps. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Have you thought about an invisible fence? Also have you tried a dog park if there is one in your area? Sometimes just people watching helps me. Like when I do go to the barn and just see all the horses and then there's Teddy my big boy, looking at me, I swear I can feel his thoughts "where have you been, I am here for you, I love you" I think we get so absorbed with ourselves WE forget what we love. I am willing greatness and peace your way! Also sending virtual HUGS your way too-🥰❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Still healing my inner child in my 40's, I thought my purpose was helping others. Nope, that was wonderful; but it did not heal me, it finally started showing up as secondary trauma. Ouch! In the last year I have found some great podcasts that have opened my eyes to all I have ever wanted. "HOME" a simple word to many, yet for some of us we were "happy", but still looking for home! My journey has brought me to amazing places and I'm continuing my search for my "home"! Thank you both for this detailed, professional, highly connected session! ❤
As a regular listener of this wonderful podcast, I can truly say that this one REALLY hit home with me. Thank you for introducing us to this phenomenal woman, Dr Bryant, Mel. You are both so inspirational and helping so many. 💖
This made me cry: "Every survivor I've met has been fat and poor, like me". I had no idea this is what a lot of people who are irritable and unhealthy may be feeling. It feels so easy to maintain my health, but I've never been in their shoes, and had no idea just how bad a person's depression can be, when it's hidden. Being irritable because your depressed, and having a fixed attitude on that being the "norm"....
I don't comment on videos like this, and your comment is already 1 year old so i don't even know if you will read me, but I just wanted to say this : The comment section of all videos like this one are filled with people saying they realized stuff about themselves, going "wow", "this is so me", etc. It feels so good to see someone say they realize things about other people. Empathy, decentralization, connexion. It felt so good to read your comment just now.
@lavenderprod I am definitely still here with my own RUclips Channel now, and you have no idea just how much I needed to read your comment just now. Thank you. 😊
42:00 "if I deserved better I would have received better." I believed that deep down for so long. Realize that's the lie and the truth is: *I am worthy of that which I have not yet experienced.*
Hey Mel… No idea if you or solely your team reads these comments but, funny enough, one of my morning practices has become watching these podcasts or any of your videos to get my head on straight for the day.
Same here! Love her attitude, openness, delivery, insights ... the whole package is so inspiring. I love your phrase: "to get my head on straight..." My head is CONSTANTLY 'going crooked' on me!
This is definitely going in my playlist of videos I want to watch again. So many powerful things said. Just wow. I think I’m going to get the Homecoming book on audible too. It sounds like something I’ve been looking for since 2009 when I became a survivor of sexual assault. I really appreciate this video. I’ve been trying to find myself since she left me 14 years ago as a young 23 year old. I’ve been so afraid to be me and to take my power back. I’ve recently done the High 5 Challenge & read the book too. I’ve been diving deep into Mel Robbins YT channel also. I’m finally feeling brave enough to work towards healing and learning what I’m capable of. I so appreciate both of these women. Thank you, just thank you.
I'm in a toxic relationship of 20+ yrs. I want to find the strength to leave and stick with the decision. So far, I keep coming back for the hope of what things could be. I will be in financial ruin, so I have to decide when enough is worth the cost. Thanks.
“I don't want to keep my healing hostage waiting for the healing of those who harmed me“..oh wow! Thank you for this profound advise. So true, they don't care.
I love that the eagle did not push off with 100% confidence. It made me laugh that the animal expert's annoying persistence was in the eagle's mind. Theres so much in this story. ❤
I listened to this message today and I was profoundly moved and inspired. The moment Dr. Bryant said "... I miss myself" my body responded with tingles. There were moments in this message that made me so emotional. I don't know if it was Dr. Bryant's voice or words but I needed to hear it. I am buying the book today! Thank you, Mel for bringing this beautiful soul on your show and having such a powerful conversation!
Darn been thru a lot in lifetime....grief, rape, horrible marriages to mean men, bullied at work, ignored by adult children because I am just me. I am good person and loving but sick of those who hurt me! Ignoring those people as I keep moving on. Um author got a point about depression is despair and anger and behavior. My new thought stay to self it is safer and more calming for me. Wow this lady is so GOOD ! Thank you Mel R for bring her on! She makes so much sense. Explains a lot of behavior I see in self and strangers. I am silently crying this is so right on time for me with crabby family and other weirdos I avoid.
Wow I really needed this!! I work in a very toxic environment and I am starting a new job in a week!! I can't wait to re invent myself and not feel my soul drained everyday!! I focus way too much energy pleasing everyone around me until I have nothing left for myself!! I am ready to put myself first!! Thank you so much for this podcast!! I am an eagle in the middle of chickens and I can't wait to spread my wings and soar!!
Good luck, Dora! I have had a few dozen jobs in the past 3 decades (yeah, it looks like a lot of job hopping in my resume) but I *know* from experience, even doing the same job in a positive environment can make a *huge difference!* I've been in some miserable offices and only last there a month or two before I find something better. It's good when we can protect our self esteem, energy levels and happiness. 🙂
I quit a good paying job because of the environment and narcissist bully. New job with less pay has 3 narcissists. Do not share your stories! Observe and question THEM. Keep you power by keeping quiet. Protect yourself and your heart. I was devastated and went into depression. Get to know these clowns with a crown first. Don't give them anything!
Dr Thema Bryant, what a profoundly insightful woman. 26 minutes in , this is something I really needed to hear ❤️ Thanks Mel for sharing this interview ❤️
Wow apart from all her great accomplishments, this woman has incredible beautiful energy. I continue to realize how personal growth is a lifetime journey. Certainly the last 5 years of working on myself has given me awareness but still a long road to self healing and self care. Thank you Mel for consistently giving us life altering content. Congratulations on your daughter’s graduation.
Thank you so much for this one! I have been so lost and homeless for so long. I have no idea who I am, and how to find me! At least this episode has given me clarity how to find me! I just moved back to my hometown. I was settling, and decided to make the move. I am so appreciative of having a name to it! Thank you for the welcoming to my homecoming! I am making this journey home to myself! Thank You!
I cried!! A lot! I needed this so desperately and so much resonated! Listening again via RUclips so I can create some clips of things I need to put on repeat for my heart & soul.
So much of what I have fallen into a habit of doing makes sense to me after hearing Dr Thema talk. I can now clearly see how so many of the habits I've developed over the years are really just shitty ways of coping up with the unresolved trauma that i carry every single day. Thank you Mel and Dr Thema for this eye opening podcast🥺❤️
I didn’t ask myself these questions until I was 66 years old My goodness, what a difference this will make in my recovery as a survivor of narcissistic abuse Thank you so much, Mel I don’t know you personally, however, this video is really making a difference I am a deserving soul Thank you so much And I am going to buy her book 🦋🦋🦋 SURVIVOR 🦋🦋🦋
I just love when the Universe shows up for you!! I spent a sleepless night trying to uncover why I am so unhappy right now. I did figure it out but have struggled with how to approach it. I did not know what this podcast was going to be about when I clicked it but it is right on point!! I AM in a position where I've lost myself...and this just reinforced that I need to address it in a loving way! Thank you!! 54:47
I told myself last year that " I want myself back" after I recognised how different I am from when I was a kid. I got parts back but I'm still working on my healing. Thank you, Mel, for having this great podcast and for all the advice you're giving. This book landed on my reading list and I can't wait to learn more about myself and what I can do differently. Thank you to both of you.
Damn, I didn’t realize I needed to hear this until I broke down in tears at the end when she invited my soul to tell my heart, mind, body and spirit welcome home.
I really enjoyed this, Dr Thema seems like a wonderful wise soul. I've been feeling very lost lately after I went through a lot of loss and bereavement so this really resonated with me, thanks for creating this.
I was literally running, literally running too avoid or hide myself and the big thoughts/changes I need to make when listening to this podcast. Burst me into tears right on the trail.
Dr Thema Bryant is extraordinary. I need to find a psychologist just like her, although I’m afraid that may be hard. Hopefully through her voice others follow her pursuit.
I've needed to weep since Thursday when my husband was put in the hospital, unable to breathe, and finally, finally could get in touch with that after listening to this angel. I feel like I had some, well, motherly love( in the sense that I always wanted but never had) from Dr. Thema. 😭 I'm so tired of overlooking my own needs. My caregiving energy is depleted. I need everything, and I'm going to go get it. Thank you, Mel, for always bringing us such mind blowing content, and for always asking the questions that I want to ask, and stopping to get more clarification just when I want you to. Your interviewing skills just get more and more razor sharp. I love it. AND, I love YOU and believe in YOU, too, in case everyone assumes you heard that already today 😉 (I'll be with you in spirit at the Dahlia planting-Suzanne)
Keeping quiet to keep the peace until I realized who’s peace I was keeping. I am 57, walked from my 40 yr marriage 3 yrs ago- when this same this slapped me in the face!
‘"The reason you feel unsettled is because you're not supposed to settle. So what area of your life are you settling". I will admit I teared up. Working through some issues and hope to find my answer.
"I want to introduce you to the part of you that is not an employee. You are more than your labor" That part REALLY hit home and resonates within me on so many levels 🎯 I really loved this video and your guest! ❤
Claudette: This woman is so lovely and beautifully at home with herself that it is a profound healing of my heart. Thank you so much for this beautiful gift of compassion and love .Namaste💞
This one hit hard. "Psychologically homeless" is where I've spent my entire life. And keeping the peace for everyone except myself.
And you also hit hard😮
This was SO deep. That in the innermost part of me, I felt the real me, peeking out saying "Can I come out now? I've been hiding for 43 years."
LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE!!! 🗝
This eagle is ready to fly.🙏
Yes I agree…I’m a 72yr. old woman and still struggling to find myself…wow🙏🏻but still feel blessed.
This 😇
Me too 42 years
"Keeping quiet keeps the peace until I realized who's peace is it keeping?" So many feeling around that. Such a powerful statement for us people pleasers. ❤
Wow, I never thought of it that way. Thank you❤
I got so emotional listening to you. I fet you were speaking to me personally. Currently, my husband and I are in a disconnecting mode. His favorite word is wanting peace without discussing anything. He doesn't want me to talk about my feelings, my workloads, whatever situation our children are going through, even his health. He believes God will take care of everything and when the situation becomes critical. I take on the miss fix it, super woman person. I am now learning to LET GO. Thank you. One love.
Man I just got that in a big way, omg
@@nikkitenterprises9344 z😊 CCM nfin😊a
This was revolutionary to me also
OMG - I just found this podcast, and ordered Dr. Bryant's book "Homecoming". I am 62 yrs young, and was listening while doing my mundane, repetitive job to engange my mind. After hearing her tell the West African fable about the eagle, and her comments afterwards why she wrote the book, I (silently) burst out crying to myself. I feel like I have spent most of my 40 years of working hiding my true gifts and voice that God gave me doing mundane "chicken jobs" to survive and support my son (divorced mom) and mom. I look forward to retiring in the next year or 2, and FINALLY use the talent God has given me. Also Mel, I just want to say, everytime you close saying "I love you" really speaks to my heart. I don't know why because I do have those in my life telling me that daily. Maybe your voice is deep like my Mom's, and it reminds me of her? Anyway, THANK YOU for using your gift and talent to produce this show to the world.
❤
Thanks Mel! I’m still trying to figure things out at 74 yrs old. We never stop learning and your shows are so helpful and informative. I appreciate your honesty and kindness.
Thank you for sharing and inspiring others! Wishing you all the best on this life-long journey!
“We think calmness is fake or boring”! OMGOODNESS!!!!!
45:13 - 45:24
"I was taught that keeping quiet kept the peace until I realized whose peace is it keeping?"
i relate to this so much. thank you. 🙏
Yes, in several areas of life for me. My healing and knowledge is not important to the guilty wanting my silence.
My parents told me the cops would take me away because I was a horrible child and the bad one, not them. I was terrified of being abandoned and it didn't help that my mother would talk about having a great life if she didn't have my sisters and I.
Once on a cold rainy night in winter when I was 5 I wastold to go back to school to find my homework reader. I vividly remember trying the classroom doors but they were all locked and being frightened that I would be beaten when I got home. As a result no teacher no matter the punishment could get me to do homework right up until I left school. I'm surprised I learnt anything and thought I was stupid, but after leaving school discovered I was smarter than I thought. I put it down to fact I could speed read and always had my nose in a book. The older people I worked with were always very kind and encouraging, I don't think they realised just how much they helped me, after years of abuse I expected it from them too, and am grateful for the way they looked out for me.
Even today I'm very suprised at how successful I've been, I really didn't think I would amount to much in my life.
@@kitkat186 This is encouraging to read. I have a grandchild experiencing this. My SO is a NARC. I did not realize or put it together as I had been led to believe my entire life I was the problem Raised by a narc, married a narc and have narc kids. I get and keep my grand at least once a month. She is quite spirited and gifted. I cry a lot over the things they say and do to her. And of course she is the problem and to blame. Not them. It started as an infant. Leaving her in her crib to scream cause she was interfering with their fun...
How very true
❤❤
47:28 “it’s going to require some losses, some people aren’t going to be happy with the new you. They like the quiet you, the compliant you, the doormat”
That really hit me. I am the one who is quiet and compliant and people love me for it at work. They are programming me to stay and co tinge being that way as that's how I feel valued. I need to start being OK with being a disruptor and valuing my own peace. My peace is my priority...
This was so moving! ‘You feel unsettled because you should not be settling’. So good!
"I miss myself" I started saying that a year ago, working on it... We're all going through it together I see
I’m feeling the same way 🤗
Yes, I love that I found this one!! It’s definitely for me.❤
@teresal2175 so true! I lost myself in a toxic government job I began a year ago. This podcast made me realize I need to make some concrete plans to find something else and return to my true self. We can do it! 🙂
'You just got busy but not healed' 🙏🏼 so true
I have been watching the Mel Robbins podcast daily for 7 months. This is by far - the BEST podcast I have heard and seen!! All people need to be taught, why we think the way we do? And how it affects ourselves and others. They're so many lies we tell ourselves. And sometimes that's why we allow other people, to treat us badly. A lesson I am learning late in life. Thank you both, so much... This is beautiful and amazing!!!! Eye opening... Healing is vital to one's soul! 🙏❤️
I have been emotionally homeless and now at 65 I understand why. Looking forward to reading this book and giving peace to myself. No longer hopeless,, Thank you!!!
"When you are excellent, people don't see your wounds". Thank you ❤
So true ❤
This so helpful for me being a teacher in a rough school environment
Lots of kids with attitudes
Which I now know is despair
Holy night, "I don't want to keep my healing hostage, waiting for the healing of those who harmed me." ❤
That African fable made me cry. I can relate to this. I am 56 and feel like I don't know myself. I grew up in an abusive home and lots of trauma...thus makes sense
Made me cry, too ❤
Here's another resource: The Crappy Childhood Fairy. I have begin to heal thru this acknowledgement and work.
You are not alone...me too....
It made me look at things differently. How many see me and my children 1 way(chicken). But in the last 5 yrs we have changed our courses, separately, but still changing.
@@dianekim43850😊
The anointing on that women is amazing and beautiful!! The way she speaks and communicates her knowledge and suggestions is so beautiful and transparent! This episode was a masterpiece!! Thank you Mel for allowing God and the universe to use you and your gifts to help and inspire. You both are amazing powerful women!! I’m on my journey home baby!!! Let’s get it!!
Well said, Steven, ditto ditto ditto
Patty
She is an incredible storyteller for sure ! Loved listening about homecoming ❤
I just love how Mel NEVER shies away from vulnerability. That is one of her best strengths!!❤
Totally agree! She’s an idol to a lot of people from what I can see from this comments section!
Absolutley! No BS - I love that in her. 💜💜💜
This is gold ✨ Please bring Dr. Bryant back for another episode 💖 Thank you so much Mel and Dr. Bryant!
This was so amazing
There is more of me than what they see. I am more than just a co-worker, and employee. So powerful!
Psychological homelessness--You’ve gotten busy but not healed! You are so right! 😢🙌🏽🙌🏽I don’t want to be driven; I want to be called! The reason you feel unsettled is because you’re not supposed to settle!
A server, a fixer, self declared foot soldier, giver, mother hen, be the least, give away what you crave the most and it will come back to you.. loyalty never came now I’m directing it inward to myself with the help of Mel Robbins podcasts.
Wow the chicken/eagle story made me shed a tear - so emotional.
Hey @Roisin , yessssss. Awesome analogy !
Me too 😭
@Michelina Serino, me too
I wonder if other people are also catching the prompt to determine who the "farmer" may be in your life. The people who are fine with you not knowing your greatness...
Exactly!!
I need to get home. I ve been roaming all my life. Thank you ❤
My wife told me something similar to the chicken/eagle saying. When we were first dating, she told me I had settled. From that point I became restless with energy to do more. Now I'm in the process of starting a business doing what I love to do. I love this podcast.
She is a keeper!❤
Thanks for having Dr. Tamar Bryant on your Podcast. I listen to the video while I was walking my daily 2 miles, learn a lot and brought her book off Amazon. Looking forward to the new me!
Thank you for this episode! 🙏🏼💖I’m 39 years old and finding myself homeless, forced out of my house and abusive relationship, getting divorced and starting over my life! I needed to hear this and I need to welcome myself back home to being myself again and being alive. Better days are ahead. Gods plan not mine!
Prayers for you, Jennifer! ❤ May God bless you as you move forward in your life! ❤
Same age and I can relate to this comment so much. You are not alone. We can do this!
I was homeless in 2016, then facing it again in 2021 after a breakup with a cheater. Starting over, moving away at 61. Yeah. Get in touch with your power, Jen. I’ve never felt as strong as the last 2 yrs. I realized resiliency was my superpower. You’ll find yours!
Why did I cry when right at the very end, Dr. Thema said, “…welcome home.” 😭 I can’t tell you how many times I have cried in my decades on this earth saying over and over again, “I want to go home-I want to go home.” I feel like a prayer was answered for me in discovering this healing gem. Thank you Mel and Dr. Thema. 💕
Right there crying with you!
Same with me..
“There is more to you than what they see and also they see the vastness of you, and they don’t like it” wow can I like this session twice because I’m over here crying at 1am ready to quit my toxic job I just started. I need her as my therapist
I wasn’t sure why this was recommended to me but I clicked on it and I’m 30 minutes in and I’m crying like a baby. I so needed this video, thank you ladies ❤
"You are more than your labor," WOW!!
I am going home to that small firecracker of a smart ambitious confident happy carefree powerful untraumatized beautiful girl....I have missed her and felt disconnected for soooo long 😢
The part about saying I love you only when it feels real.
I had an amazing childhood but I don’t recall my parents ever telling me they loved me, even though I know they truly did and still do.
Now that I have kids myself it 90% of the time feels not real to me when I tell them I love them, but I am “training” myself to remember to tell them and hope it will make it easier for them to express it when they’re older.
The older my kids get the more things I uncover that I wish I had as a child, and make every effort to make sure my kids don’t miss out on these things.
“The reason we are unsettled is because we are not supposed to settle”… WOW! 🤯 love this video and Dr. Bryant. Definitely going in my favorites folder to revisit and share. Thank you both 💞
Who wants me whole and who prefers to see me broken. WOW. This was an amazing podcast ladies. Thank you! ❤
Love her line on, “keeping the peace”...at what cost, and what it does to the body. This professor has been so profound in explaining how trauma affects us.
I love spending time with myself and listen to my inner self. I need it to recharge, renew, and reset myself.
Same here🙏🫶
I am back here and am highlighting the part - "Before I eat something, can I say 'I am eating this because I love myself'?" , I am an impulsive eater, emotional eater and this CHANGED my life. What a beautiful statement for us @themabryant .
I'm going to start doing that today! Thank you!
Me too
😊😊
The tears that came down when she said "I miss myself" 😮
Soooo true!
This is probably one of the best episodes of the Podcast. No unnecessary distraction or repetitions, simply good therapeutic discussion on life and healing. Thank you Mel, thank you Dr. Thema Bryant, this is a beautiful conversation. Also, "Just because this one is better does not mean it is good" - should be preached as a sermon. Thank you
1. Does the state of your life internally or externally fall short of what you imagined?
2. Did you obtain what you thought you wanted only to discover you still feel empty and unfulfilled?
3. Do you have a sense of powerlessness or hopelessness?
4. Do you lack the energy or motivation to pursue the things that used to matter to you?
5. Do you feel there are no words to capture the ache in your heart?
6. Do you find yourself crying often or does it seem impossible to cry?
Thanks! Was looking for summary
Impossible to cry through many extremely close losses. Have to keep doing. . And all of the above. Thanks for the list of points!
THIS is so POWERFUL!
Trauma drives; coming home to purpose is more natural.. I forget the quote! But sooo good.
Also, if someone has really bad attitude they are wounded and have been taught sadness is weakness! It’s a form of depression!
Waiting for someone who hurt you to heal is pointless. Forgiveness is for yourself more than the other.. although it does help the other too!
Reason we feel unsettled is because we aren’t supposed to settle! For me it’s my career!
Physiological homelessness is that feeling of being ungrounded and not sure. They don’t know what to do. 27:00 is where I can find 6 questions to ask if we are homeless! I def am!
Absolutely phenomenal, Mel !!! Dr Bryant is absolutely prolific, authentic, and a total game-changer in the realm of psychology and the path to self -awareness and self-actualization. Please bring her back. It would be great if you could have a panel discussion with Dr Bryant, Dr Russell Kennedy, and Dr Gabor Mate as they really have a grasp on the impacts of trauma on the human psyche and body.
I tried all the approaches (softness,transparency, openness) Dr Thema mentions in this video but it didn't matter what I did, nothing worked.The mistrust he felt(from previous experiences),just kept growing.I became more and more disconnected from myself trying to do everything his way, trying to please him wherever possible.
But the moment I realised I wasn't being true to myself and started putting boundaries in place, things fell apart very quickly.
We are now getting divorced.
I struggle daily with the fact that I had to choose between my relationship and my soul....
Choosing myself came at great cost,but choosing my husband would have come at an even greater cost
Therapy is good bc you are talking with someone you don’t have to take care of!
A couple nights ago, I was stepping my spouse through the story I'll be telling at a keynote the week after next. When I was done, he said "For a brief moment, I saw YOU come BACK." I've been suppressing myself for about 2 years now in a situation I know isn't sustainable or even viable... and RUclips keeps recommending stuff to me to make sure I KNOW it's time for a change. Thanks for being a part of that process.
Wishing you much success in changing your journey for the better!
Only 15 minutes in and I have tears in my eyes
I said YES to ALL 6 questions. There are times when I'm just mentally num.. mentally paralyzed. I know I'd never do the unthinkable, but I think about it all the time. I see everyone around me succeed at what they want, living and taking actions with their goals and dreams. I think of mine... but that's it. I have a beautiful horse to show and ride, and I feel I let him down too..I'm not good enough
I paused a moment when you mentioned your horse and then noticed it 😍 in your profile pic. Beautiful! I do not have a horse but your message resonated with me. I left NYC about 2 years ago to start over in a small town down south. I adopted a shelter dog, who I adore but I also feel like I am letting him down. I have become very lazy a d do not walk him for as long as I should. I wanted to get him a dog friend, but getting my yard fenced is taking way too long. I know he is bored terribly. I have depression and hope it is not rubbing off on him. He is a mixed breed dog and nearly every breed that makes up his combination is a very active breed. Definitely feel like I am letting him down as I slog along at my own life. I keep waiting to *have energy* but they rarely if ever happens. Last night I slept over 12 hours, only to wake up still feeling dead tired. I know things will ultimately work out, but not fast enough for my liking. I hope in these comments you are finding compassion and understanding. 🤗
@@amg9163 Thank you for your kind words, that means a lot :) I always cheering others on, maybe to deflect b/c of how I feel at times. I know they say that getting out and walking/JUST MOVING YOUR BODY helps. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Have you thought about an invisible fence? Also have you tried a dog park if there is one in your area? Sometimes just people watching helps me. Like when I do go to the barn and just see all the horses and then there's Teddy my big boy, looking at me, I swear I can feel his thoughts "where have you been, I am here for you, I love you" I think we get so absorbed with ourselves WE forget what we love. I am willing greatness and peace your way! Also sending virtual HUGS your way too-🥰❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Still healing my inner child in my 40's, I thought my purpose was helping others. Nope, that was wonderful; but it did not heal me, it finally started showing up as secondary trauma. Ouch! In the last year I have found some great podcasts that have opened my eyes to all I have ever wanted. "HOME" a simple word to many, yet for some of us we were "happy", but still looking for home! My journey has brought me to amazing places and I'm continuing my search for my "home"! Thank you both for this detailed, professional, highly connected session! ❤
As a regular listener of this wonderful podcast, I can truly say that this one REALLY hit home with me. Thank you for introducing us to this phenomenal woman, Dr Bryant, Mel. You are both so inspirational and helping so many. 💖
Absolutely agree 💯
I’m a listener from South Africa and this really helped me. Thank you 😢❤
This made me cry: "Every survivor I've met has been fat and poor, like me". I had no idea this is what a lot of people who are irritable and unhealthy may be feeling. It feels so easy to maintain my health, but I've never been in their shoes, and had no idea just how bad a person's depression can be, when it's hidden. Being irritable because your depressed, and having a fixed attitude on that being the "norm"....
I don't comment on videos like this, and your comment is already 1 year old so i don't even know if you will read me, but I just wanted to say this :
The comment section of all videos like this one are filled with people saying they realized stuff about themselves, going "wow", "this is so me", etc. It feels so good to see someone say they realize things about other people. Empathy, decentralization, connexion. It felt so good to read your comment just now.
@lavenderprod I am definitely still here with my own RUclips Channel now, and you have no idea just how much I needed to read your comment just now. Thank you. 😊
@@ashlyguerrier You are very welcome 💜
42:00 "if I deserved better I would have received better." I believed that deep down for so long. Realize that's the lie and the truth is: *I am worthy of that which I have not yet experienced.*
Hey Mel… No idea if you or solely your team reads these comments but, funny enough, one of my morning practices has become watching these podcasts or any of your videos to get my head on straight for the day.
I am learning to find my voice. I am learning to understand boundaries and how to confront them. Thanks Mel.
Same here! Love her attitude, openness, delivery, insights ... the whole package is so inspiring. I love your phrase: "to get my head on straight..." My head is CONSTANTLY 'going crooked' on me!
“It is impossible to be at home with yourself and stay in a relationship with someone that is dishonoring you perpetually” …wow
Very true
This is definitely going in my playlist of videos I want to watch again. So many powerful things said. Just wow. I think I’m going to get the Homecoming book on audible too. It sounds like something I’ve been looking for since 2009 when I became a survivor of sexual assault. I really appreciate this video. I’ve been trying to find myself since she left me 14 years ago as a young 23 year old. I’ve been so afraid to be me and to take my power back. I’ve recently done the High 5 Challenge & read the book too. I’ve been diving deep into Mel Robbins YT channel also. I’m finally feeling brave enough to work towards healing and learning what I’m capable of. I so appreciate both of these women. Thank you, just thank you.
This woman is a jewel ❤and a treasure!
I'm in a toxic relationship of 20+ yrs. I want to find the strength to leave and stick with the decision. So far, I keep coming back for the hope of what things could be. I will be in financial ruin, so I have to decide when enough is worth the cost. Thanks.
Hope you got out - you'll be so glad you did !
“I don't want to keep my healing hostage waiting for the healing of those who harmed me“..oh wow! Thank you for this profound advise.
So true, they don't care.
Wow, this podcast came at the most perfect time in my life. Thank you so much Mel you bring the most amazing people on your show.🎉❤
Me as well
I definitely know that I’m going to watch this episode over and over again. So profound
I love that the eagle did not push off with 100% confidence. It made me laugh that the animal expert's annoying persistence was in the eagle's mind. Theres so much in this story. ❤
I listened to this message today and I was profoundly moved and inspired. The moment Dr. Bryant said "... I miss myself" my body responded with tingles. There were moments in this message that made me so emotional. I don't know if it was Dr. Bryant's voice or words but I needed to hear it. I am buying the book today! Thank you, Mel for bringing this beautiful soul on your show and having such a powerful conversation!
Darn been thru a lot in lifetime....grief, rape, horrible marriages to mean men, bullied at work, ignored by adult children because I am just me. I am good person and loving but sick of those who hurt me! Ignoring those people as I keep moving on. Um author got a point about depression is despair and anger and behavior. My new thought stay to self it is safer and more calming for me. Wow this lady is so GOOD ! Thank you Mel R for bring her on! She makes so much sense. Explains a lot of behavior I see in self and strangers. I am silently crying this is so right on time for me with crabby family and other weirdos I avoid.
Wow I really needed this!! I work in a very toxic environment and I am starting a new job in a week!! I can't wait to re invent myself and not feel my soul drained everyday!! I focus way too much energy pleasing everyone around me until I have nothing left for myself!! I am ready to put myself first!! Thank you so much for this podcast!! I am an eagle in the middle of chickens and I can't wait to spread my wings and soar!!
Good luck, Dora! I have had a few dozen jobs in the past 3 decades (yeah, it looks like a lot of job hopping in my resume) but I *know* from experience, even doing the same job in a positive environment can make a *huge difference!* I've been in some miserable offices and only last there a month or two before I find something better. It's good when we can protect our self esteem, energy levels and happiness. 🙂
I quit a good paying job because of the environment and narcissist bully.
New job with less pay has 3 narcissists. Do not share your stories! Observe and question THEM. Keep you power by keeping quiet.
Protect yourself and your heart. I was devastated and went into depression.
Get to know these clowns with a crown first. Don't give them anything!
I love how she asks Mel about her feelings. It’s really a conversation and not an interview ❤
Dr Thema Bryant, what a profoundly insightful woman. 26 minutes in , this is something I really needed to hear ❤️ Thanks Mel for sharing this interview ❤️
Wow apart from all her great accomplishments, this woman has incredible beautiful energy. I continue to realize how personal growth is a lifetime journey. Certainly the last 5 years of working on myself has given me awareness but still a long road to self healing and self care. Thank you Mel for consistently giving us life altering content. Congratulations on your daughter’s graduation.
“I can prove my worthiness with my busyness” 🎉 this is spot on
I didn't want their conversation to end. I was learning so much from Dr. Bryant. God Bless 🙏
Thank you so much for this one! I have been so lost and homeless for so long. I have no idea who I am, and how to find me! At least this episode has given me clarity how to find me! I just moved back to my hometown. I was settling, and decided to make the move. I am so appreciative of having a name to it! Thank you for the welcoming to my homecoming! I am making this journey home to myself! Thank You!
I cried!! A lot! I needed this so desperately and so much resonated! Listening again via RUclips so I can create some clips of things I need to put on repeat for my heart & soul.
Same!! So many great clips
Connectivity with yourself is one of the most important lessons we need so we can journey to be our authentic self & live as we are suppose to! 😊🎉💪
❤❤
So much of what I have fallen into a habit of doing makes sense to me after hearing Dr Thema talk. I can now clearly see how so many of the habits I've developed over the years are really just shitty ways of coping up with the unresolved trauma that i carry every single day. Thank you Mel and Dr Thema for this eye opening podcast🥺❤️
I didn’t ask myself these questions until I was 66 years old
My goodness, what a difference this will make in my recovery as a survivor of narcissistic abuse
Thank you so much, Mel
I don’t know you personally, however, this video is really making a difference
I am a deserving soul
Thank you so much
And I am going to buy her book 🦋🦋🦋
SURVIVOR 🦋🦋🦋
You deserve all that you desire!!
I just love when the Universe shows up for you!! I spent a sleepless night trying to uncover why I am so unhappy right now. I did figure it out but have struggled with how to approach it. I did not know what this podcast was going to be about when I clicked it but it is right on point!! I AM in a position where I've lost myself...and this just reinforced that I need to address it in a loving way! Thank you!! 54:47
Psychological homelessness was so well explained. Thanks Mel for this podcast .So true not everyone can afford to go to a psychologist.
24:05 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” - C. S. Lewis
Amen
That’s right!!👏👏👏🦋
I am getting this life saving therapy free thank you so much!
Listen. 🔥🔥Who wants me whole and who prefers me broken.👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
No words can explain, how amazing Dr. Bryant is. What a beautiful soul and words that need to be heard!!!
Thank you 🙏 Mel you are amazing too!!
Brilliant powerful conversation 🔐
The acknowledgment that we can know, we are blessed, while simultaneously, knowing that some thing is also very wrong
That story that Dr Thema told was so powerful! Love these two souls together!
I told myself last year that " I want myself back" after I recognised how different I am from when I was a kid. I got parts back but I'm still working on my healing. Thank you, Mel, for having this great podcast and for all the advice you're giving. This book landed on my reading list and I can't wait to learn more about myself and what I can do differently. Thank you to both of you.
I am so thankful for ppl like you. Thank you for this platform. I needed to hear this
Damn, I didn’t realize I needed to hear this until I broke down in tears at the end when she invited my soul to tell my heart, mind, body and spirit welcome home.
I really enjoyed this, Dr Thema seems like a wonderful wise soul. I've been feeling very lost lately after I went through a lot of loss and bereavement so this really resonated with me, thanks for creating this.
Just purchsed the audio book. I can truly relate to this. I have been through a lot in my life and want to come home.
I was literally running, literally running too avoid or hide myself and the big thoughts/changes I need to make when listening to this podcast. Burst me into tears right on the trail.
Dr Thema Bryant is extraordinary. I need to find a psychologist just like her, although I’m afraid that may be hard. Hopefully through her voice others follow her pursuit.
I've needed to weep since Thursday when my husband was put in the hospital, unable to breathe, and finally, finally could get in touch with that after listening to this angel. I feel like I had some, well, motherly love( in the sense that I always wanted but never had) from Dr. Thema. 😭 I'm so tired of overlooking my own needs. My caregiving energy is depleted. I need everything, and I'm going to go get it. Thank you, Mel, for always bringing us such mind blowing content, and for always asking the questions that I want to ask, and stopping to get more clarification just when I want you to. Your interviewing skills just get more and more razor sharp. I love it. AND, I love YOU and believe in YOU, too, in case everyone assumes you heard that already today 😉 (I'll be with you in spirit at the Dahlia planting-Suzanne)
Same , my husband has ALS and has been ventilator dependent for 2 years and paralyzed. We’ve been prisoners in our home and it’s exhausting.
Same , my husband has ALS and has been ventilator dependent for 2 years and paralyzed. We’ve been prisoners in our home and it’s exhausting.
Keeping quiet to keep the peace until I realized who’s peace I was keeping. I am 57, walked from my 40 yr marriage 3 yrs ago- when this same this slapped me in the face!
Survival mode is awful :(
I have been psychologically homeless for a while
I'm so happy I'm not alone
‘"The reason you feel unsettled is because you're not supposed to settle. So what area of your life are you settling". I will admit I teared up. Working through some issues and hope to find my answer.
"I want to introduce you to the part of you that is not an employee. You are more than your labor"
That part REALLY hit home and resonates within me on so many levels 🎯 I really loved this video and your guest! ❤
This conversation felt like a hug of embrace, acceptance, empathy comfort and love. Thank you Mel, thank you Dr. Tama. ❤
Claudette: This woman is so lovely and beautifully at home with herself that it is a profound healing of my heart. Thank you so much for this beautiful gift of compassion and love .Namaste💞
Wow I am really moved deeply. Har voice is soo deep and motivating. It is worth watching altleast 2 times ❤❤❤❤