At 15 I was Forced To Marry A Man Twice My Age | Minutes With |
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- Опубликовано: 18 дек 2021
- In this week's episode we sat down with Rubie Marie, who was forced into a marriage at 15 years old to a man twice her age. She told us how she got through all the abuse and trauma that event caused her, and managed to rebuilt her life.
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Rubie is ambassador for:
www.oxfordagainstcutting.org
Twitter: twitter.com/oagainstcutting
Facebook: facebook.com/OxfordAgainstCutting
Instagram: instagram.com/oxfordagainstcutting/
Rubie's socials:
Instagram: instagram.com/rubiemarieuk
Twitter: twitter.com/rubiemarieuk
I especially love when they censor and actively delete factually based comments regarding religion and tyranny affecting our very own young people and women.
Hey rubie, did your parents get done for forcing a underage teenager to marriage? No? They walking around like nothing happened? Really great
And no anyone saying "it's a culture thing bla bla bla" go ahead and bandwagon jump into the MAP twitter mob of scum maybe her parents are into that.
Cause that's what her parents allowed some old perv to do no matter the way you try and put it or look at it.
@@bearpatrick9112 is that you trying to force your opinion onto others?
@@cyberdudekhany nope, no one got injured or forced into anything during the typing of said comment and unlike the msgs her parents sent and received setting her up for trauma
How can a family feel ashamed that there daughter found a man she loved, but not that they let their daughter get raped by a grown man
Truly sickening
The parents wont think of it as rape because they are legally married. Thats their mindset
Unfortunately they see women in their religion as lesser beings. So a daughter is just a means to an end. Very very sad.
@@elizabethd5264 its not permissible to marry a person against they’re will, that rule was made BECAUSE girls would get married off before Islam. In this case it’s culture, not religion. But I suppose that doesn’t matter because people like you don’t want to hear the facts and just want to hear whatever they want.
That’s how Islam was formed....read the Quran or look at a history book.....disgusting culture/religion/cult. Marrying a child at 6 years old yet he’s idolised and seen as a prophet 🤢
I feel like the idea of child marriages just allows pedophiles to hide in plain sight. It’s disgusting, I wish this woman the ultimate healing
Most of these East Indian men are peadophiles. They are allowed to get little or young girls for money.
Islam in a nutshell
Unfortunately this tradition is from an age of society where the ages of maturity was overall seen as younger than it is now, and in countries that are not as modernised and developed (particularly in the east it is still seen as normal) even in the west this was common place, its just a weird tradition that is alien to the modern west now. But at the same time 15 is some countries age of consent currently such as France so its not as far from normal to western Europe as you think.
Keep reading hadith .....keep a vomit bag near.
Child marriage is relatively rare, and is usually a betrothing. This video does not relate to children
This woman was 15. If you saw a photo of her naked at 15, she'd look the same as 18. Think a pedophile would get hot over her now?
I ran away with my now husband, under threat of honor killing (sharaf). 26 years later and I still believe it's the best decision I ever made. My daughter and son will never be subjected to that barbaric BS.
👏👏👏 It takes strength to take agency, especially when your whole world is against you. I'm glad you can live how you want
Respect
The whole world is NOT against you. Please don't say this . There are so many loving, kind human beings. That's what they want one to think so as to keep you in terror.
It is! You saved your and your husbands' lives! In Italy, among other cases, we had last year a girl, Saman Abbas, killed by her family because she didn't want to get married. They then fled back to Pakistan but for what I can remember they all tracked them down this year. That poor girl's body was found just a month ago, after more than a year...
I'm glad you survived that. I just wonder why your parents didn't just let you marry the one you chose isn't that a perfect solution for all?
As a mother to a child conceived by rape, I literally broke down when she said she didn't connect with her daughter until she was like 3. It's a horrible feeling as a parent but it's true
You a such an amazing person!
@@OmarOsman98 Why would she nitpick that specific topic out of this whole video, just to lie about it - You guys are aggravating.
@@OmarOsman98 stop trolling
@@OmarOsman98ya mutt
Women should be taught though that this happens to everyone. Even a child out of love. It just happens. People fail to realise that it's just society who pushes us to have kids. What people actually want is just to have sex, to connect to another person. Children are just a brain wash.
My point is: it's absolutely normal not to feel connection to your child.
It’s sick and disgusting to think a father would force his 15 year daughter to marry a grown man twice her age. And not care what happened to her after the wedding ceremony.
because they were married the same way. His family told him.. oh we found a bride for you, get ready. If he was lucky he may see her before wedding, but he did not have much say in the whole thing. Reminds me pre revolution China.. Son, you are getting married. Auspicious day is set. What if he did not like his wife..pity for both. If he was rich enough, he can take the one he loved as a concubine.. if not.. then he has to suffer as well.
@@foxitt2266 just because what the previous generation did doesn’t give justification to force marriage onto a child!
@@squidtrader7973 look, for them it was normal and is normal. Dont forget that even in the West, free choice of partners for marriage is hardly 200 years old.
@@foxitt2266 time to stop living in the past a girl isn’t a women you wouldn’t marry your own daughter to a 30 year or 80 year old man 🤨
@@foxitt2266 their culture is what’s wronging their own girls and women if you think rape is normal you’re part of the problem not the solution of changing bad habits!
I'm disgusted that there still are people in this world who thinks it's ok to force marriage on someone else against their will!? It's human trafficking and it's absolutely horrifying.
You have no idea! That happens in most south Asian countries all the time. Your own parents will tell you that a girl is burden when she is only a student with no one and not even herself to turn to. They will make their own daughters believe that marriage to a suitable husband is much better than personal development. They will keep hammering that into your brain until you start to believe it yourself.
@@ihmsfm1040 that's sick. Women are just as much human as men are. And we are not only put here on earth to be baby- and sexmachines.
@@elin_ bless your soul 🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@damikasim1576 I'm just frustrated by that it's 2022 and still some men think they are superior 🤔
@BorekSigar what a lame statement. You know that women still isn't equal to men right? And that needs to be sorted out. Women are just as much humans as men.
I can't believe the level of abuse that is disguised by culture. I feel sorry for this woman. Domestic violence is still an issue in the Western culture too. One day I pray that women are considered worthwhile for all societies
The abuse is part of the culture. Saying it’s just part of their culture shouldn’t be an excuse to let people be abused.
Let's be real - it happens in some cultures way more than others. Honor killings, arranged marriages, child brides...all very rare in Western cultures. That's not to say we don't do some shit, but thankfully this stuff not so much. It is disgusting and culture should never be an excuse. I am a high school teacher in the UK and I worked in an area with a very high percentage of Asian people (Pakistan, Bangladesh, India) and we had to have annual training on how to recognise signs of abduction due to the disgustingly frequent occurrence of young girls either never coming back, or going "on holiday" to Bangladesh and coming back withdrawn, bruised and losing weight.
Western culture is a fairytale by comparison to other places around the world. Imagine any of this shit happening here, the people would seriously be against that. Fact is if you're anti-west, you're anti-women.
@@sbo3 there's no such thing as honour killing in western culture. These things happen in the west because of other culture diasporas.
@@missrebel634 i feel like abuse is the whole culture, not part of it.
“I’ve only been alive for 8 years.. I’m only 8 years old “ wow that made me cry 😭 so proud of her
You 8 what you doing on here
8 years what are you doing here ?
You shouldn't be watching this
Ah!
@Harun Rashid she used quotation marks on that statement, meaning she was quoting something she said smh
“Honor” has ruined so many lives. People pick honor over the happiness and health of their supposed loved ones. It’s tragic.
And what they do isn't even honorable. So sad
My best friend was abused for years for "honor" he recently made a fucking insanely brave choice and left his family to move in with me, and it's making me endlessly happy seeing all the little things he's learning when he's surrounded by people who want more than to control him. He mentioned a few days ago that he listens to sad songs now because they're pretty, not because he relates to them, like he used to. It made me endlessly happy to hear that. Honor, in the case of things like that, is horrible for people.
Funny thing is is that in my book honor is supposed to be about doing something respectful/good to people. This is why you are honored because someone has give you something that makes you happy.
If it is not something like that then it is nothing but evil.
Honour,no.Disgrace on all who subject girls to this barbarity.And the grooms are sick.
They are selfish SOB’s
As a father it's hard to understand how someone would do that to their child. how selfish
Not just the father. The whole family and people around her in general.
@@drumstix7602 arrange marriages in a country like Bangladesh, that’s there culture but know one should be forced to get married anywhere in the world
@flyspiderbird lol, that's whole lots generalisation, because you don't have the balls to speak the truth.
@@grumpy-dad3701 I have to disagree with you, Ruby says from the moment that they are born they are brainwashed into this way of life and in turn know no better,
Education has got to be the answer
One Word ! RELIGION !!!
When she said "I'm only 8 years old." I CRIED. What a sad story, but one of resilience and strength and healing. Truly inspirational woman.
Ruby was NOT a horrible mom! She was a traumatized young woman who was just surviving!
*NOT FEELING LIKE YOU'VE BONDED WITH YOUR BABY RIGHT AWAY DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PARENT!!!*
It is bad parenting, it just has understandable causes. What matters is that she tried to do better.
@@sparkstudies1675 I wouldn’t call it bad parenting cause you can’t control the bond.
@@sparkstudies1675 not feeling bonded in itself isn’t bad parenting
I came to say this I didn’t bond with my first until she was nearly one and we did all the bonding things I loved her yes but she still felt alien to me
yes, I remember not feeling all the happiness and “joy” portrayed in movies? It was more like shock and disbelief a bit. ffwd to now she is a happy, content, amazing little person and we are very close. Sometimes it takes longer to bond than other personality styles. (Attachment Theory)
Glad more girls are realizing they are human not their family's property. I hear horror stories. As an Afghan American, I'm so grateful my family was into education not marriage or reputation.
This woman is an inspiration. The trauma she has undergone is unforgivable.
Why aren’t the parents and men charged with child sexual abuse? This is fucking disgusting! Justice needs to be served!
It's allowed, celebrated, and encouraged in these countries even in America if you have parents consent most states will allow the marriage some having no age restrictions.
@@carissacarter984 Well something needs to change! 😡
because it is considered part of their "culture"! it is simply legalized crime! Yes it is beyond disgusting
It's their laws in their cultures
That's why they flew her off to another country. But if she contacted the British Embassy she would've been saved.
Parents who do this should be arrested on their return to the UK- no matter what the child says. 5 years in prison for them and those that abetted.
It’s actually a crime in the uk
I really don't understand why anyone would want to marry a teenager. They are at their most hormonal, moody, smelly, awkward period of their life. Not too mention a face full of zits. It's hard enough for parents to deal with their teenage child. Why would anyone want to take them on as a spouse, which you have to face every day?
@@sallieceelee5660 cause they are used for 1 purpose.
Never gonna happen bc woke idiots will say it’s their culture!
Idk which “culture” forces arranged marriages, marries children, blows themselves up…
5 years ain’t enough. in this Britain you will be about with good behaviour in 3.5 years.
I’m SO glad, she stood up for herself and left. I wish her, her daughter, and her son the BEST ❤️
As a Bangladeshi, i feel sorry,disgusted and ashamed that it happened with you. Being a daughter of supportive parents never really made me realised there are people like that out in our society. I hope and pray you and your children get everything you ever want and desire for because you deserve it❤️
Ok give me your number
Perhaps you will be a conduit to teach people where you live to stop this type of life for women.
My heart cries out to all the women in the world who are enslaved by culture, tradition, duty and brainwashing. I wish I had a billion dollars to make a safe house for women who needed an escape and therapy to work through their issues. I don't think a billion would be enough and I don't know if throwing money at a problem would even be a viable solution, but it's the only one I can think of.
You have a good heart, my friend. 💗
while I completely agree, and asian culture have a very backward, patriarchal idea of marriage (I'm asian, and god knows I've heard enough of this stories) I was was suprised tho that westerners don't know or recognise when they're being sexist or misogynistic, especially conservative, sometimes religious white men... A washed down version of toxic patriarchy is still toxic patriarchy...
@@zurzakne-etra7069 oh yeah. There are tons of us still trapped in the matrix
@@zurzakne-etra7069 What a load of garbage.
@@zurzakne-etra7069 lol you can't brand an entire continent. Parts of southern India are matriarchal and rest of east Asia are all pretty modern such as Japan, Taiwan, Korea, Singapore etc. Muslim culture in the Middle East including Bangladesh, Pakistan and parts of India are very backwards, even some other cultures in rural areas.
This woman radiates strength and confidence. The way she talks about this heartbreakingly traumatic experience without choking up is incredible.
WELCOME TO ISLAM THE MOST PEACEFUL RELIGION ON EARTH
Lol it’s how things should be. It’s a shame the west is so too cucked to do this
@@jd2770 wtf is wrong with you
@@off3416 nothing
@@jd2770 so you think it’s ok to be a nonce?
“2 stones in 2 weeks” is 28 pounds. WOW. She was literally withering away from all of the trauma. I’m glad she was able to get away and be taken care of by an angelic nurse and her good friend. Newsflash: This lady is NOT a bad mother for not bonding with her child. It’s impossible to bond on any level with PTSD, post-partum depression, and living under duress. I’m happy she’s safe now.
This is so disgusting 🤢 how a father treated his daughter forcing her into marriage. So disgusting 🤢
She put herself right back in an even worse situation does that make her "disgusting " as well..
@jcj1942 You tell me? I mean.... seems like to me that you're trying too hard to be overly hyped, smart ass! 😆 🤣 😂 lol.
@@jcj1942 actually yeah 30 was too old for her but 28 wasnt and her husband wasnt an abuser
As a father I could not imagine forcing my daughter into a situation like this. I would burn that house down with everyone in it before I let someone rape my daughter. This women has an amazing inner strength and a testimonial to overcoming adversity. My heart breaks to think how many millions of people deal with this on a daily basis.
Then you would be up for arson and murder charges. Who would protect your daughter then?
Well written brother! Spot on!
The world needs more fathers and men in general that think like you
Person doesn't have to be a father to realize an example from this video is sick..
Problem is the fathers probably done the exact same thing!
I'm from the u.k and this almost happened to me 10 years ago. I ran away from home days before the flight to Bangladesh. Unfortunately this happens often and we must change there mentality. haven't seen my family since which is heartbreaking, but I'm happily married now to someone of my choice with 3 beautiful kids that I love and adore.
So happy you escaped ❤️
You are a Soldier...Respect
So sorry you had to make that tough choice to leave your family behind. But I am glad you escaped! I can only imagine what that type of background is like.
She said that certain expectations are drilled into your head from birth. And the fact that she wasn't allowed to even go into the shops while growing up (let along going in by herself) suggests their intent was to keep the girl from ever being able to function on her own. How 😔 . I hope she was able to connect with her sister again. Both her resilience + emotional awareness are amazing!
I am so so glad you escaped. Hope you continue to achieve greatness in your life.
Very proud of your courage and wishing more happiness to come 🙏
It is astonishing how Bangladesh, Afghanistan, India, Pakistan and other neighboring countries treat women this way. They can't even justify and say "religion" or "Islam said this" because it is just soo easy to debunk...
Exactly this is not at all what Islam teaches
@@sumayyahhussain14And yet every mud slime countries top the list in gender violence, honour killings, unnatural perversions with animals? including your sh'thole?
They why Muslims the way it is? The rest of the world isn’t innocent but Muslim cultures are next level cruel, don’t u think? We r not comparing the good thing , we r comparing the bad things . They r next level collectively evil.
There is the story of that indian Sikh girl who was a victim of an honor killing. Her story is horrific and it's a proof that those things have nothing to do with religion, it's their dirty mindset that makes them treat their daughters like shit
Muhammad the Prophet of islam married a 6yr old Aisha & molested her when she was just 9 years old. And his actions are considered sunnah, these cultures do child marriages because Islam also permits it.
The fact that she could talk so boldly about her trauma without having a meltdown is just inspiring!
The depths of misogyny are just mind-blowing. The fact that the hatred and devaluation of women were more important than a father's natural love for his child, we have created hell on earth. This woman is so strong. Many children in the same situation would have ended their lives.
They just don't operate under our set of values, we're very progressed in the west and we forget that, theres still large parts of the world where this is not the case. Sad really.
@@12white1 yeah he could have easily chosen someone of an adult age. He raped a 15 year old daily. I have no pity for him.
@@12white1 well then I think it's safe to say "grow some balls"
youd be surprised at the amount of child marriages that are arranged by the mothers.
@@12white1 if he was the adult in this situation then he shoulda gotten his family outta this situation instead of using someone, who was basically a child, to save himself
No one should be subject to this much trauma. What a survivor
The bad this is there's probably a child n your neighborhood going through worse you just don't know about it
💚Jesus lived the life we couldn't live and died the death we deserve. Repent of your sins and trust in Him💙.
lol
@@daughteroftheking994 can you like not
They should because that’s how things should be
She is such an incredible woman. To survive, because you have to and then to claw your way back to life and on top of that find the strength to talk about it... She is incredible!
I just hope, her parents feel ashamed every day of their lifes for what they did, because these things don't stop until someone says "I won't do this any more!".
This is the definition of a strong person. The fact that she survived all of this and is now helping others with her story simply brings me to tears
I come from the Middle East and I'm so grateful my parents were moderate and never forced me to be married. One of my friends was 12 years old when she was married off and by the time she was 17 had 4 children! I pray for these women who have had their childhoods stolen for them and God bless this woman for speaking out. Child marriages, "honour" abuse and "honour" killings are a crime and an abomination. I'm so grateful we immigrated to Canada. It has given me a chance at a good and free life where I can make my own decisions and raise my daughter to have those same freedoms
Same. My family is from Bangladesh and hearing these kinds of stories makes me so grateful for how amazing my family is.
That's is so sad it's actually criminal to do that to children. Just terrible
What childhood? Sexual immorality and depravity? Sneaking to have sex when ur parents aren't looking? Going to the movies and being indoctrinated with filth that sullies the brain. Amusement parks? What girls were here to make babies period! They get a period by 13 should be making babies by then. A period is not just supposed to come every month and nothing happens. ITS TO CREATE LIFE! AND AS MUCH OF IT AS U CAN. AND FROM AN EARLY AGE
That is the problem that '' honour '' means as long as you respect familys will you will be okay , but if you make your family angry you are on your own, and if you live in a country with no help infrastructure for poor people or jobless people. You convince yourself to give up one of your kids '' for sale'' so that your other children could live better life, also because it is accepted by your family and its part of the society you live in , you will most likely never be confronted for the wrong you have done. Because they grew up in the same society they are dissociated from themselves and from any sense of right and wrong. As a result you have parents who do this , and you have sons who marry those girls and rape them because that is common thing. But thanks to movements and human rights questioning traditions these things are becoming less commonplace and women are rescued or spared more often. The real problem is that previous generations not only took it ( the bizarre traditions) but they convinced themselves that they are the weird ones and that what was done was the right thing.
@@iSugarHeart its not fully about resources. Then why does it happen to girls in rich countries like saudi arabia n Kuwait?
She said her family needed to get their “honor” back by doing something horrendously dishonorable. How weak are you as a parent to allow a group of ppl decided your honor and value. Despicable. If I were her I would cut my entire fam off completely. Never again.
Forgiveness. Bitterness and anger only destroys the one harbouring them
Its ingrained into them, part of tradition, culture religeon...
Sadly, the elder generations are still tied into that lifestyle....
Younger ones are more progressive and moving away from those horrific bonds....
Its very hard to break away...
I’m so glad she told her story. What a brave soul.
I’m a mother of two beautiful teenagers who are my everything. I can’t believe there’s people in this world who would knowingly hurt their kids like this when they supposed to love and protect them. This breaks my heart. So much pain and suffering these young ladies had to go through 💔
I'm not sure how the law works on these things but her dad should be prosecuted.
@@johnmitchell2269 Yep, political correctness
@@johnmitchell2269 you’re deluded
💯
@SammieTheHendie executed or castrated?
Great video! So powerful
Have a look at the interview below for more amazing interviews with a different twist
ruclips.net/video/qaJfDI3dcWw/видео.html
when she was saying how she didnt bond with her daughter until she was 3... and was sorry for it and saying how she was a horrible mum. I had to stop the video and just take a moment because.. she was only 16. like damn. a child trying to recognize another child as their own. even at 3 years old, the mom was still just 19. crazy strong woman
She was a child herself so nothing to be sorry for!😔
Not just that but also going through the sweet 16 hormone shift, during a very toxic pregnancy response, while dealing with the trauma of sexual abuse, and the gut wrenching feeling of having your own family give you away… I cannot imagine how difficult it would’ve been to be dealing with all those things at the same time. Poor poor woman. She is so strong.
I would never be able to raise a child produced by rape. This IS a strong woman and it sucks that there are women who get brainwashed at such an early age just so they think they're not worthy of basic human rights. Sad
It was a child of rape too. I bet she didn’t want to connect with that trauma. I feel so bad for her
@Tom Joney at 16 people know what's wrong and what's right. This woman was FORCED AGAINST HER WILL
What a beautiful, charismatic lady. Radiating warmth and carrying all these hardships with grace, after everything she lived through. I wish her everlasting healing and happiness in life. Respect, love and light 🙏
This was absolutely so inspiring. I applaud this woman. Thank you so much. Thank you SO MUCH- for sharing this story. I had a friend from Bangladesh 🇧🇩 while in the Army and it is very apparent that their views on women being treated as objects and misogyny is very deeply ingrained in the culture. I pray for women like you. Thank you so much. So so much.
A childhood friend of mine was abducted by her father and uncles, taken to be married off in a city about four hours away. One day she was sitting next to me in our fashion/textiles class, showing me her latest manga-style drawings and the next day, her seat was empty. I could tell her siblings and close friends knew what had happened, but they were clearly sworn to secrecy.
After a few days I overheard our teacher quietly trying to get the truth out of her two best friends, who were from the same refugee community. The teacher just flat-out asked them if she'd been taken to get married and that's when the story came tumbling out.
I never saw or heard of her again. We were only 14. This girl was sweet, shy, and very intelligent. She had dreams of becoming an animator or illustrator. I hope she's okay and has been able to take back control of her own life, wherever she is. 💔
Oh dear, so very, very heartbreaking...😔
we need to pray daily for those girls. It's horrendous. We need to pray for their safety and freedom in the name of Jesus.
@@christinealessandrini4280
If Jesus could do anything he should've prevented it
@@bootbredda2724 Jesus can do anything. Sometimes He just shows you that He is with you while you go through issues. Jesus said in this world you shall have tribulation but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world. God never said that troubles would not come but He did promise that he would never leave us nor forsake us. Also sometimes God allows us to go through storms so that we can grow and so that we can uplift others. If we went through no storms we would have no testimony. If we had no struggles we would not know that we need God. Also God promised in Rev. 21 that in heaven there would be no more tears, sorrow death etc. If everything on this earth was perfect this promise would not be as comforting.
I hope this blesses you. Jesus loves you. ❤️
@@jadapoole9238
No it wont bless me with that! Jesus watch my people suffer for 500 years
When I was married off at 15, it was mother’s doing and my father went along with it. I’m from Zimbabwe, Africa and this evil acts are all over. It wasn’t about culture or religion. Being married off at a young age made me question my family and the choices they made for me back then. I can relate to her story on the trauma and keeping everything to yourself and people going about it like it was normal. I was suicidal though out my marriage and I held on to life because of my daughters. I’m happy women are coming out sharing their stories and helping the fight against child marriages. Thank you for sharing your story.❤️
May i ask if you’re still with him and what happened?
@@yakob1248 I left my ex husband 4 years ago, I was married for 10 years and I have 3 daughters from the marriage.
@@faraijuliet_magada thank you, I hope I wasn’t intruding. Props to you!
@@yakob1248 not at all, I’m more than open to share. Check out my first interview about my experience on this link… ruclips.net/video/5t7UPnKBS2M/видео.html
I’m so sorry you went through this and I’m so shocked it has happened to you because I’m Zimbabwean too. I hear stories but to hear first hand is absolutely heart breaking. Sending you love and happy 2022 x
I was a innocent child when I was 15. Playing with my friends and sleeping in my mother's lap. I can't even think of getting married at a young stage. These parents are sick
No they aren’t. 15 is a adult
@@OmarOsman98 no definitely not you pedophile
@@AbhiMoz Alright you’re Indian probably never saw clean water
I am so happy that this soul life worked out for her,happy that she didn't commit suicide. She had courage to face the situations and gained more strength. Well done to her.
It doesn't matter if it happened in the UK or not, the parents should face repercussions. What she went through was horrifying child abuse even if they regretted it later on. Her father was crying at her wedding, he KNEW it was wrong and he still didn't stop it
it is interesting that the parents weren't charged with human trafficking, which is what this seems like
@@ahmeth.k.2566 i think you can especially if its to do something illegal, forced marriage and/or fgm
@@ahmeth.k.2566 yh but Forced marriage is illegal in the UK and you aren't allowed to purposefully try to avoid it by going to countries where they don't have such law. This includes: "taking someone overseas to force them to marry (whether or not the forced marriage takes place) marrying someone who lacks the mental capacity to consent to the marriage (whether they're pressured to or not)"
@@ahmeth.k.2566 I get that argument but people have literally been jailed for the above purposes (forced FGM/marriage) because usually it is done to underage girls ad i guess that's the law protecting them
He is a pathetic father.
my mom was married at 15 to a man who was 27 I constantly have to remember this when handling some of her emotionally disturbed behavior towards me through out my life even though she still doesn't understand to this day that she has suffered abuse and subjected me to abuse I'm working twice as hard to make sure my children never have to grow up like my mother and myself
You will be rewarded for making this change compared to how you and your mom were raised. So different and really nice to have a happy loving relationship with them.
@@martymaloney1032 thank you it’s amazing what compassion and understanding can do to a relationship I never thought I would have a relationship with my mom once I had children but I’m very lucky to have a mother who fights as hard as myself for a better future ❤️
I can relate. My mom was forced to get married at 15 to my dad who were then 23 years old. My mom was not a happy person and my siblings and I are victims of a miserable mom and an abusive depressed father.
@@OrchidScent get it
You are literally the opposite of a terrible mom you have handled your life with such beauty and grace and put your daughter first you are incredible and I’m so glad your story is being told💞💞💞
Bless her and anyone else that goes through that. The courage and strength she has is In fathomable. Hope she has a great happy life going forward ❤❤❤
The fact that she told this whole story without shedding a tear shows how strong she is and how much she's endured.
Edit: I didn't mean that crying makes you weak and not crying stronger, but what I wanted to say with this comment was that she got through a lot that she's sort of detached from all this or she's come to terms with what happenend and has learnd accepting it.
Shedding tears is not weakness.
@@BooksAndShitButNotLiterally True indeed but what I wanted to state with the comment was that her not shedding a tear means she's experienced so much that even her feelings where affected.
Tbh she been doing interviews and talking about her situation in 6 years soo many times she probably doesn’t even have it in her to cry
Yeah it shows she’s accepted what her story is and she doesn’t pity herself or attach emotion. It’s just a part of her life now
She has healed, you only share tears over fresh wounds, she has had her days of those tears.. when you heal totally from trauma you don't feel it anymore, and what you don't feel can't hurt you ❤️
I’m old, but I can remember being 15.
I can’t even begin to imagine how she felt knowing she was going to have sex with a stranger and her family gave their blessing to this!
Poor girl, what a situation to be in.
It wasn't sex. It was rape. Absolute disgrace what happened to her.
I married at 16 but by my own choice. I can't imagine what she went through.
💚Jesus lived the life we couldn't live and died the death we deserve. Repent of your sins and trust in Him💙.
@@daughteroftheking994 Praise the Lord!
@@daughteroftheking994 Stop being a sheep.
It is stories like these that make me appreciate that I grew up with my parents.
I can't fathom how a father can do this to his own flesh and blood.
I absolutely appreciate and love your honesty. The bad, the ugly, the good and love. Thank you sharing your true life experience.
I have been a mental health professional for forty years and have interviewed hundreds of survivors of Child Abuse. This survivor stands out for two reasons: (1) The duration, intensity, frequency and pervasiveness of the Child Sexual Abuse and Child Emotional Abuse that she experienced is exceptionally severe. (2) Her inner strength in having survived emotionally and, in fact, prevailed emotionally is humbling and inspiring.
@@kristinelawrie Yes, I am familiar with instances in which the perpetrator, his family or other perpetrators harass and intimidate the survivor to the extent that the survivor has had to (1) move out of town, or (2) move to a gated community, or (3) obtain a Retraining Order.
That is a job i could never do, it would mess me up beyond repair.
Hi, I am a Bangladeshi citizen and I just turned 19, I just want to say that I really understand what you went through and my heart is absolutely broken. The sad thing is even in the year 2022, it's still happening. When the world became a standstill due to covid 19, a lot of people thought this is the perfect time to marry off our daughters since they aren't going to schools, A lot of girls from my class are now married. I met up with few of them and it felt like talking to strangers, They are not just the people I know anymore. I also know things are getting better but I feel like it is easy to say for me since I live in one of the most advanced cities of our country and have been blessed with amazing parents who always inspire me to do better, who made me believe if I have an opinion it doesn't mean I am bossy, who made me believe that yes I can go far from my home for further education. I am just extremely grateful to them for always standing against the society and supporting me. And I know every child deserves the same.
Find and contacts sites of RUclips pages and sites of charities lije Too young to Wed, Girls not Brides, they give shelters to such victims
@@scottandrews947 That's not culture if it's hurting millions of innocent girls and crushing their dreams. I am moving to another country in my future but not because I want to escape from this since I am already 19 and my parents are even crazier for my career than I am. But sadly only a few percent of the people in Bangladesh have my priviledged life. Most girls don't have their parents's support nor their parents offer financial help to study abroad. And you can't really work on your own here unless your parents allow it so you just can't save up and move out.
I'm sorry for your friends... This exists in India as well... In India legal age of marriage is 18, in most of the rural places the parents will arrange marriage for their daughters as soon as they turn 18... It is so sad that they don't even get to finish their education.
@@vaidhegi That's really sad
@@scottandrews947 in what way are men treated poorly?
I'm in awe of how you turned your life around!
Using your traumas and experience to help others, and in that process healing your self more and more.
You are a true hero, weather you realize that yourself or not!
Thank you so much for sharing your story!
Greetings and love from Sweden ♥️ 🇸🇪
She was born here. She should have been protected by British law. Parents arrested and strike on their immigration status.
As someone who lives in a region where "bride stealing" is still a thing, I have known girls who couldn't bear such marriage and run away or even commited suicide. I am happy that things ended (relatively) well for her
what has relegion has to do with that shit ? lol i am from 97% muslim country and no one here still steal his bride 💀
@@merrychreysler8717 you know they said region and not religion, right?
@@merrychreysler8717 1. a lot of religions do shitty things. 2. They didn't say religion, they said reigon 3. You making the assumption that they meant Islam when they raised an issue with women's rights really says more about Islam than the op
@@merrychreysler8717 u look goofy rn
@@Styxintheriver she is bangali and in her country islam is the main relegion how you want me to not take is as if she they are talking about islam ?
I hope her "family"are watching this and are disgusted with themselves
They’re probably enjoying themselves and there lives seeing as she’s still traumatised by this and they don’t care
I hope she never speaks to those horrible people again.
@@piqueny8872 Justice will be done in the Afterlife.
Guys, I know it's disgusting in our standards, but in India, these things are normal and accepted. It's part of the societal expectations to get a woman married at a young age.
She said herself that her mother had no say in the decision for her to be married and was clearly uncomfortable with the marriage. The father likely thought this was the best decision for the future since Indian culture puts ENORMOUS pressure on young people to marry and for the parents of the young couple to find a match. This doesn't excuse anything this young woman went through, but to say her parents wanted to willingly torture and abuse her through this experience is so inaccurate and wrong. In India, not following these societal rights of passage is a worse shame than death; you are seen as an outisder and a woman unable to marry is almost seen as a curse. Her parents did to her what was done to them when they were her age, and what happened to their parents, and their parents and the cycle goes on. It's so deep in the culture that you have to choose between the community and yourself, and without the community's support, you'd soon starve and become homeless.
Thousands of parents arrange marriages for their children all over India every year and most of them don't turn out this terrible. You can't say every parent that arranged a marriage for their child wanted to hurt their children and drive them to suicide. They're just generally poor, uneducated, and grew up in a country where this is normal. Breaking the cycle is so difficult. I'm sure they never meant to willingly hurt her, the pressure from their community is just too great for them to handle and they were to cowardly to face it and its consequences. Try to have some contextual understanding to this before wishing hate on others that were not strong enough to fight back against a much more powerful and deep-rooted force.
@@tisbutascratch2045 That doesn't change a thing about how messed up it is.
You are a beautiful courageous inspirational young lady, and I'm sure your story will allows so many other young ladies to identify themselves with you.
Wishing you joy and happiness for you and your daughter.
God bless
You can tell she's grown so much. That she's literally worked so hard to learn to love herself again. That she's still doing her best to unlearn her abuse and advocate for herself. I'm glad she's here.
What a true survivor she is. It's disgusting how young girls are treated this way by their own families, the ones supposed to love and protect them. The culture of forced marriage in this country us an absolute crime and heroes like this brave women are testament to this. Good bless you x
❤️Jesus lived the life we couldn't live and died the death we deserve. Repent of your sins and trust in Him💜.
@@daughteroftheking994 Jesus isn’t real lol men invented religion to control femaIes
@@truthteller839 clearly you have not done your research
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@@daughteroftheking994 Oh please. 🙄
I would disown my parents if something like that every happened to me. Gosh man literally we need to hunt down people who organize this and charge them for human trafficking, I'm serious. The guy who married you needs to be in prison. I'm so sorry 😔
This woman rocks! She's so strong. It's an awful story but I'm glad she's out here exposing it for those of us that would have no clue that this world exists outside of the drips and drabs that we hear occasionally. She really gives you insight to that world and how much pressure the community (i.e. her "family") exerts in order to perpetuate the oppression of women. She's awesome and I hope she knows it!
It’s sad that in these communities, fathers and husbands care more about how their family is perceived and not bringing shame to the family, than they care about their actual family. So obsessed with being a respected family that their own family hate them. It’s truly pathetic. Treat their daughters and wives like dogs that they own. This poor lady and the millions of others who are forced in to this life.
The guy she met after that abused her is from your community
@@kayfay2535 how do you know that
Agreed, I am Pakistani and any south Asian being defensive is just wrong. We need to acknowledge that it's rife in our communities.
@@kayfay2535 domestic abuse occurs in all communities unfortunately but arranged child marriages does not. This is technically allowed pedophilia.
@@leaplingpuff you’re right that’s the only way things ever improve by being open like yourself and admitting the problem rather than hiding behind tradition. I know every culture has problems and western culture is absolutely not perfect either. But child marriage is just wrong, her dad essentially allowed her to be raped underage and the husband is technically a pedophile. Poor woman 😔
the fact that she held herself together through this whole thing, what a strong woman
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@@fraddi its not Islam, it's culture
@@Laniya. I will agree with you on this much. There are pedophiles all over the world. Of all races and creed however child marriage is widely accpeted in Islam.
She’s Hindu
She’s incredibly brave for escaping, for building her life, for telling her story
So sorry for all she went through. She was a very strong person to endure and still know that moving forward was the best choice for her and her children. I hope the future offers her the best things in life, she deserves it!
Rubie, thank you for speaking out and advocating for girls and women in abusive situations by sharing your own story and bringing to light the abusive nature of child marriage and honor-related crimes. You are a champion! I hope you and your children are well.
❤️Jesus lived the life we couldn't live and died the death we deserve. Repent of your sins and trust in Him💜.
@@daughteroftheking994 I'm already a Christian, thanks. And if you aren't a bot, then I don't think these sorts of RUclips comments are very helpful at showing people God's love for them.
WELCOME TO ISLAM THE MOST PEACEFUL RELIGION ON EARTH
@@fraddi Islam condemns forced marriages
This woman is an absolute survivor. She didn't even have a choice, her "father " was supposed to protect her, instead he handed her over to a predator. He needs to be locked up with monsters just like him. I wish nothing but love and blessings for her and her children, she's so damn strong and I truly hope she finds nothing but happiness. I'm so sorry this happened to you 💜
It’s terrifying that you can’t even blame lack of education in her case. The parents knew better. This poor woman. I pray that she is able to heal.
This woman is amazing, I hope her and her children are leading happy and fulfilling lives as they deserve ❤️
The way she talks about her trauma reminds me of how I talk about mine. Kind of dissociative and matter of fact and glassy eyed. Considering she went from abuse to abuse and then jumped into a role where she’s an ambassador of abuse victims, it makes me wonder if she’s really had time to really connect with all her feelings and work through them. Either way she’s a very strong woman and I really hope her life from now on is smooth sailing.
I was thinking the same thing too. She sounds like she's learnt to separate herself from the girl who experienced the things she did. As she said herself "her coping mechanism is to disconnect".
Great observation. I got the same thing from it. I've been through alot of trauma and I do this a lot. Now,I'm at a point where I can recognized most of the times when I dissociate.
I am the same way as well
Certain psychotherapies, especially based in grief and heavy trauma, use a technique where they help the client to retell their traumatic stories in a safe setting repeatedly over the sessions so the client can eventually tell their story without having a strongly negative physical and emotional reaction. As an embassador it is probably necessary for her sanity that she is able to tell it so many times without getting PTSD or triggered. No one knows but it's clear she's a strong warrior and has a beautiful clarity. It must continue to be extremely challenging to help other young women in the same situation. God bless this woman and all women having had or currently facing similar circumstances 🙏 praying there is full healing all around 🙏 ❤️
Her brutal honesty when telling her story is a testament to her strength. Much respect to her!
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@@fraddi This all about heartless human's..not religion.
@@cliffm8112 qa11
@hugh if you were acquainted with the channel you’d know there are many women here who were brought up in Christian and Jewish households that were forced into marriage as children by their families as well, right ?
Unbelievable that this type of abuse of children still take place in 2021. Thank god for the help that received.
I'm so proud of all of these women who have the courage to fight all odds and share their story. It's so inspiring to me, to see how strong women are despite every obstacle set against us. Still we rise. Bless
what a remarkable woman. she was so calm when describing all of these despicable things that happened to her. incredibly strong
Can I just say that I actually love that ‘LadBible’ are being such advocates for woman, their rights and using these real stories to aid in change. Well done LadBible - you have my respect and loyal following 👏🏼❤️
When I was 12, I had a conversation with a female Indian classmate. We were talking about our dreams, what we wanna do when we grow up. So when I finished my bit, I asked her what she wanted to do. And she said that she was already arranged to be married when she turn 16. Her parents already planned to marry her off to some guy in India. She even took our her wallet and showed me a photo of the guy. A mustachioed full grown man. I didn't know how to reply to all of that so I just said 'ok'. That incident is more than 2 decades ago.....so wherever she is right now, I hope she is doing ok.
Arranged marriages are a bit different then this story and all the ones this story is referring too. Just as there is a big difference between arranged marriages with kids closer in age (although might be the male is 5 or so years older) and arranged marriages with a female child to an older male adult again like in this story. Arranged marriages such as like your female indian classmate usually do have a choice ... not much of one as it is greatly expected of them to follow through with the arranged marriage. But they can usually say no. Might result in being greatly looked down upon, etc. The difference is also in how that society is, they grow up knowing this and expecting this and as in the case of your female classmate, know who that even is from a young age. Again it is all expected of them to follow through with that arranged marriage but is one that they know about pretty much their entire life and childhood. That is completely different than this story where she grew up in UK and even her sister had a boyfriend in UK thinking she could marry them, only to find out later otherwise. Usually arranged marriages they can get divorced too, although again that is highly frowned upon, but they can. The difference is arranged marriages actually typically last, and last better and much longer than non-arranged marriages. Again unlike with this story and the forced marriages. But arranged marriages last because they have more effort and emphasis to make it work, and both grow up usually respecting each other during the marriage instead of simply being together for love and once that dies out, moving on. Ofc there is always exceptions, but my guess is IF she went ahead and accepted the arranged marriage she is more then likely doing just fine and will likely die happily still married (or widower).
@@kevinfisher1345 I wouldn't call it a choice if your parents pressurize you to do it, or instill it in your from birth basically. I wouldn't call it consent, it's literally manipulation. Why can't they do this after both are at the age of consent. I don't think majority or any people would want an arranged marriage especially at 16. Its just gross, 16 is way too young, in most countries that's against the law, nobody should be put in that position
@@kevinfisher1345 arranged marriages are bad, period. It doesn’t require a detailed explanation.
@@kevinfisher1345 Did you not read what I wrote? My classmate was 12 arranged to be married to an adult man. There is a massive age discrepancy. She was a fucking child. Her brain was not fully developed enough to comprehend the situation she was in.
Also India...the land where they respect and value women amirite? 🙄
@@clairemorgan6421 arranged marriages has the highest success rate, so you are correct it does not need a detailed explaination. They WORK when done correctly and arranging with more age appropriate kids.
Would I want one or want one for any of my kids? heck no. They are the times of the past and our societies today no longer needs such anymore. But they are not all bad period either. Especially when I see so many idiots that get married today and divorce a year or couple years later like it is nothing. THAT is bad. People today have no concept what marriage means or is supposed to mean. At least in the old days those with arranged marriages knew what marriage meant.
This woman is a true warrior - a hero and just amazing! I wish her loads of love and an easy life now. Bless her ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Wow this woman is incredible. The pain and torture she has been through and she’s here telling her story. She is so brave and I really hope others who find themselves in similar situations can take some strength from this lady. I wish this sort of thing didn’t happen. It’s so so sad to hear.
She looks bloody phenomenal for 38. I thought she was about 25
She either fell in [true] love or the Lazarus pits.
Or, caked on makeup.
@@ok-hd4ir or she’s just a strong woman. Makeup comment unnecessary
@@ok-hd4ir Really thought you did something
I agree. She looks younger. Beautiful and well put together.
Yes, she is beautiful and young looking. Does her makeup well too.
I thought my life has problems, then I heard her. She is so strong. Hope she finds someone who truly loves her.
It's ok, your life has problems, just because she might have been through worse stuff doesn't mean your pain isn't valid.
She's really been though a lot though, hey. Strong lady!
My second child was not a choice, it took me years to bond with her, you are a phenomenal mother to of kept harming your emotional self, whilst still making her a priority. WE JUDGE OURSELVES, as a mother who went through this with 2/5 pregnancies, I am so proud of you ❤
Thank you for you courage to share your story. I apologize for all those who hurt you in their ignorance. Wishing you many Blessings and Blissings from here on out.
She inspired the heck out of me! Btw she looks so youthful! I would never have thought she was 38! Good for her! I hope she continues to flourish! She has a calling
Make up
@@waqaskhakid6158weird comment smh
38 is still exceptionally young. :)
It’s not like she’s old. She looks like someone in their 30s
the fact that the first time she ever felt like she was being treated with respect and being given a choice what to do with her body was when she was being offered an abortion is very powerful to me. It shows how important it is that abortion remain accessible, whether or not the pregnant person ends up deciding to carry to term. Just the fact that that option was there gave her a lot of strength
The pregnant person ? What’s wrong with the word pregnant woman ?
@@salvolondon Regardless of what your opinion is about inclusive language, it grammatically makes more sense to say "person" in this case due to it being a hypothetical. But I guess you'd rather look stupid just so you can harrass people about your politics.
@@VigilantChap It doesn't grammatically make more sense to say person instead of woman, no matter your politics. Calling someone stupid then in the same comment act like anyone but a woman can give birth is rather silly.
@@h.s.6269 It's tragedy you haven't realized that intersex people exist. If I was born with testes and a uterus does that make me male or female in your world?
You said only women can give birth, so if I can't give birth anymore, maybe I got a hysterectomy or I'm infertile, do I revoke my status as a woman and instead become subhuman?
@@h.s.6269 why r u so sensitive lmfao it literally does not matter if you get what they meant then you get it its like getting mad at someone for saying “hi” instead of “hey”
Thank for for sharing your story I’m so proud of you ❤ especially for sharing about how difficult it was to bond. You are not and never were a horrible mom. So many moms go through that with our having suffered what you have.
I think this is possibly the most moving story I've ever heard and I really wish you the best.
She's an amazing strong woman. How a Father could do that to his daughter is unfathomable.
❤️Jesus lived the life we couldn't live and died the death we deserve. Repent of your sins and trust in Him💜.
they are primitive…
cuz the bible says it's ok
Money is greener, than blood 💵💰💵💰💵💰🏷️👩🚀
These fathers generally have no feelings for daughters, only sons
She has a spirit like a lion and a very, very strong psyche.
“Spirit like a lion” I like it! I agree though.
Hearing these stories break my heart why not these parents in prison and give satan the key I could never put my baby girl through this hell my daughter is 26 even now I still protect her you are a strong woman glad u did not gave up am really hurt to hear your story
❤️Jesus lived the life we couldn't live and died the death we deserve. Repent of your sins and trust in Him💜.
She has Explained it All So Well.
The Horror of a Forced / Arranged Marriage.
I Hope she is Doing Well now ❤️.
I know 4 women with arranged marriages. They are all very happy.
Thank you for sharing this journey of pain and healing. Prayers for safety as you educate and assist others!
I got goosebumps halfway through. I just can’t imagine how even the man involved did not refuse the marriage. She is phenomenal considering what she’s been through.
8p
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In their world they think this is completely normal
Many charities on TV are calling out for people to donate in order to save girls from child marriage. Surely it is the men that should be dealt with? Throwing money at the symptoms is not the answer.
@@dee8501 Exactly. Throwing money at it is not going to make it go away - Making it completely illegal by their country's government will put a kerb on it
I cannot fathom the lack of empathy and compassion in this story and countless others from that part of the world, simply because of peoples pride and 'honour'. I feel extremely sorry for people, particularly women obviously, growing up there.
My late father was so ingrained in his family tradition, he threatened to rip the unborn child from my sister in law's stomach, if they did not name their baby boy, with his name! Unreal! When he decided he wanted my so called mother, he raped her then declared she was "his woman" The man was a sadistic monster and as I sit here, on my couch preparing my next fix, I realise that I am really struggling to get over what happened to me as a child! I was kept a virtual prisoner in their house and I was beaten and called nasty names on a daily basis, for the slightest thing, including speaking with a lisp, having two birth marks on my body and being left handed, whom he and that thing who gave birth to me, both thought were all marks of the devil! Even my psychiatrist said, she is unable to help me as what I went through was so horrific, it beggars belief!
I'm so glad that this channel is exposing all of this for the whole world to see. We need to do something about it and I already doing my part.
What an amazing and strong woman you are. Thank you for sharing your story and showing others you can survive. I wish you a wonderful life from now on.❤❤❤❤❤
Rubie, I saw so many girls our age growing up in West Yorkshire subjected to this and nothing being done about it, I'm so happy you've managed to get out and are helping other women and girls in the same predicament.
This is mainly an asain cultural thing. Many young boys and girls pakistani, bengali and Indian are subjected to this kind of pressure to marry within their family or to a person whoever their parents feel they think is a good match. Its absolutely disgusting how asain parents can even think about forcing and emotionally blackmailing their kids to marry. Its not as easy as 123 these kids only have their parents they don't know where they would go as saying no is a big disrespect in the asain community as they see it as bringing shame on their family. It still goes on today but not many can speak up. However, if people know this is going on they should immediately go to the police do not hesitate to do so
Peace
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@@sebis9208 it wasnt just a asian cultral thing, there was huge yorkshire sandal with young girls being grommed in the early 2000's
@@fraddi ignorant comment, forced marriages in Islam are haraam (forbidden). And im no scholar but again these marriages that emotionally abuse young men and women are within Asian culture. Please use your brain before commenting things that offend other peoples religions
@@sebis9208 Same religion that allows 4 wives and marriage to cousins? Nice
What a powerful story. Such a strong woman.
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Wow, my heart go out to her. She's an amazing daughter, mother, and person. Thx u for your story.
I would literally rather die than do this to my daughter , ...I simply couldn't live inside my own mind knowing id done this to my daughter id honestly prefer to die !
ps Rubie you are a true warrior and I also happen to think you are a STUNNINGLY beautiful woman!
He probably wanted his daughter to have honor in sexual purity with one man, financial security, culture etc. He had already lost one daughter to Western culture and didn't want to lose another. Do people really find it so difficult to understand...
@@jcj1942 YES, it is difficult to understand!
Hope schools are educating girls and boys about forced marriages. This happens often. Many kids share this information with their school friends. Hope school kids have a platform they can speak up