Kinda unrelated but it reminds of when I see certain people oversharing too much about certain problems in their life. Like, if you're gonna post something personal don't showcase it to everyone on your public account, we have private accounts for things like that 💀
Ayberch if you don’t mind me asking, why would someone be jealous of having to deal with traumatic events and feelings? Wouldn’t it be preferable to want a stress free, mainly happy and content life over a dark and sad one?
Ayberch I really don't understand what your point is. I'm very fortunate to have lived a relatively trauma free life but that can't be said for my friends who constantly have their anxieties and pain minimised by people who supposedly had it worse one way or another.
Rowen Mellenger-Brown that's a good term for it! Maybe we can call it Trauma-lympics, or the traumanwealth games to highlight the absurdity of this behaviour.
1. Exhaustion as a status symbol 2. Escaping your pain as a source of pride 3. Saying you're not like other women 4. Claiming successes that aren't your own to elevate your worth 5. Using your trauma as a way to feel superior to others
Also, people who brag about mental illness and like 'how many they have' or 'how bad/ rare they are'. Such a weird flex and it always makes me super uncomfortable
I read somewhere: there's no difference between drowning in a river and drowning in a ocean, both are terrible experiences and what matters is how you recover from it. And the trauma thing just really reminded me of it :p
There is actually.. Drowning in fresh water (river) feels like drowning in water While Drowning in salt water (ocean) will literally drown you in blood.. Basically you're drowning both in your own blood and water Because of the salt content of the ocean, when you drink too much salt water, your cells will just explode and then boom, you're suffocating with your own blood.. Too weird for me to know that but yeah
I have a friend who suffered from post-partum. She's fine now but she keeps telling the same stories again and again from when she was going through that. At this point, I'm not sure if it's trauma or she likes telling stories.
Usually if someone tells me the same story I will say something like "oh my gosh, I remember you mentioning this before, how are you feeling about it now? Are you working through it?" Usually people are just trying to let a load off without going deep because they're too scared. I find it so sad, because it's usually such a subtle cry for help most people don't bother to notice it and just find them annoying. They probably feel as much of a burden as you are finding them, they just can't help it. I just find it helps people to think about the actual feelings of the issue, instead of just asking for sympathy ♡
I have this term called being a “pity-bragger”... someone who brags about having a worse life than you too in order for you to be more sympathetic to them. Like: “Oh my god I slept so little last night, like only 7 hours I’m so tired” “Oh haha I slept 4 hours I’m so tired oh my god...” Or like if you had homework and you rant about it and then your friend says “you think THATS bad? I have tutoring 9 hours every week and coaching 6 hours a week!”
I think (just my opinion) that when someone does that, it's a sign that they are in need of validation. They might feel like no one recognized how much they are struggling so they are tying to show it by one uping others.
LOL. If you are complaining about only getting 7 hours of sleep then you've got some nerve trying to mock the other person as being a "pity bragger"... 7 hours? 7 hours is a great night of sleep! Do you usually sleep for 10 hours or something?
@@Joseph-nh6in I literally don’t know why I said 7 hours because that’s pretty normal for me as well but like I just know so many people where it’s like yeah aha I’m so tired I slept at 1 trying to finish this assignment and then the other persons like oh you think that’s bad I slept at 4am and it’s like tf uh
i am SO GLAD you mentioned the sleep one bc how little sleep you get is worn like a badge of honour like "i stayed up until fIVE AM last night studying" "that's impressive karen well guess what i stayed up until siX THIRTY and i had to get up at SIX TWENTY" like no pls sleep your brain is slowly shutting down
I used to have a complex, thinking if I slept more than 5 hrs it means I'm weak, because I overheard other students say how they didn't need more than 5 hours of sleep. So from 7th to 10th grade I would be half asleep in class most of the time, chronologically sleep deprived, at the same time could never admit to myself how tired I actually was and that I needed more sleep. All because I didn't want to feel inferior to the other students.
@@sophiemay9645 exactly!! apparently it's become super harmful with things like med students and whatever bc obviously you need to do a lot of studying and people want to seem like they work the hardest, and somehow "working hard" became synonymous with "less sleep" which is actually just insane
yeah you are, and no it's not a paradox; if you brag about not bragging, then you are just confused. You can't brag about the fact that you are not bragging because if you do, then you just contradict yourself, because now you are bragging. If you don't brag about not bragging, then you are not bragging. Easy right?
Well if they don't eat for 72 hours then they probably have it too though? That ain't healthy. They are probably asking for help in a "hahah oops relatable" way. Idk though.
Although there is a lot of truth to these points, I feel that people who very often interpret behaviors as bragging are projecting. Sometimes people want to share information about their lives and their relations like humans do, and if you choose to assume that it's bragging, it might say more about what makes you feel insecure. Not to say that there doesn't exist toxic bragging behaviors.
Exactly. People are just sharing not really bragging. A lady was talking about how she sleeps for only 5 hours yesterday and I didn’t take it as bragging
Yeah it sounds like a coping mechanism. I know it's messed up to invalidate others' trauma by trying to one up but they might not be doing it on purpose and could need professional help.
Speaks accept yourself but wears amazing amounts of makeup and does breast enhancement surgery. Hypocrisy at it's best. What she saies is amazing but everybody knows it. Acting upon it is the true key.
Valaki Valahonnan People can accept themselves and wear makeup and do plastic surgery? People see makeup as an art form and enjoy it. Plastic surgery is a personal choice. Doesn’t make someone any less of a person. Maybe their intentions and personal desires can affect their character, but what she promotes still applies. But I guess thats your opinion.
@@luvi4091 you obviously do not understand the concept of accepting yourself. If you do, you don't need surgery. Did you see the episode in House M.D. where the woman got surgery not to become fat? The reaction of those following here were obviously not happy. You might want to watch the episode and search for the meaning of the two words...
The no sleeping thing is SO common in college, I'm really sick of it, I try to sleep at least 6 hours, but the more the better, and it's like if you sleep, you're not cool.
our interns at work bragging about how wasted they got at the weekend, saying to me, you know how it is. me: i don't drink alcohol. he: you missing out the past part in life! me: you must have a really terrible life, when alcohol is the best thing in it.
While I drink alcohol, I’ve actually only been drunk once in my life. I’m the same way, I don’t find joy from being wasted, so I usually stop around two drinks. Our culture as a whole but especially college where I’m at really pushes “Alcohol is the best and only way to have a good time”. It’s such a lie & I don’t want to exasperate my depression with alcohol. I’m happy more sober cocktails & non alcoholic drinks at bars and stuff are becoming normalized as I feel like sober people are often left out of socializing when it revolves all around alcohol. I don’t mind if people want to get drunk but yeah the idea that alcohol is the best thing in life & trying to shame a sober person is lame.
3 года назад+1
@@Joseph-nh6in and you just sound like an asshole.
I have OCD and at some points I felt compulsion to share my trauma with people to calm myself down. Of course I wasn't bragging, just in an anxious state.
Could someone elaborate flaunting trauma vs opening up about trauma? the scenario is friends are talking trauma and I see it as an icebreaker to open up. The feeling I have is that my traumas arent relatable till I hear someone talking of the topic.
@@jessely4916 I believe that by "flaunting your trauma" they mean showcasing it online and basically acting like it's cool to have depression, anxiety etc. Sometimes these individuals (SOME of them, in case someone comes for my neck for generalizing) even go as far as acting superior because of their mental illnesses. Not very cool imo
When you think someone may be trauma/mental health bragging, please be compassionate. They may be sharing their experience with you because they trust you and want you to understand them better, but aren’t good at expressing it. Keep an open mind and an open heart. You can listen to what they have to say and if they still sound like they’re just bragging, you can just say “thank you for sharing that with me” and leave it at that. Thanks! ❤
The trauma one can sometimes be confused with not knowing how to talk about it and just kinda... Throwing it out like "HERE! NOW YOU KNOW! LET'S GET BACK TO NORMAL LIFE!".
Or people who don't work but brag about owning an expensive car... You'd be surprised how many are actually impressed when truly it's the parent's hard work...
Balancing talking about trauma is hard. I usually try to bring up what happened to me to help remind my friends to be mindful what they say and so they don’t accidentally trigger my PTSD. And its so important to talk about it. But like Anna said, it worries me that by talking about it, people think I’m just ‘telling this story’ and its not hard for me. I hate feeling annoying. But I also want to spread awareness! And I am guilty of saying ‘I went through something similar!’. I hope that it doesn’t come across as bragging when I’m trying to heal.
my friends and I made a habit of telling each other when we sleep and wake up in conversations so the others can make an effort to help them get more sleep. like if my friend slept at 4:30 bc she was working on an assignment, she'd send a quick text saying "goodnight" at that time so everyone is aware that she needs extra care; we'd encourage her to leave her phone, get her a cup of coffee and breakfast in the morning, etc etc.. so yeah. we turned the brags into a healthy system and I could never be more proud of the friends I have 😊
Im so happy that you talked about the “trauma bragging” One time I had two of my friends bragging about their traumas and discussing about whose traumas are worse. They were like “yes omg I cry like everyday twice” and the other one responded “ugh I wish, I cry every HOUR” and the other one was like “oh yeah? but I have a mental breakdown everyday!” And I told them so many time that that wasn’t a competition and their discussion is silly but they were sooo into whose more traumatized that they just ignored me smh
Absolutely THANK YOU. I was having this conversation with a friend a while back about how we started noticing that people talk about their lack of sleep as something to be proud of and to compare each other against. Obviously it extends further but this kind of mentality needs to be addressed. It makes me think that our generation just doesn't know how to deal with these negative emotions and so it just manifests itself in this kind of strange "I stand out because ....." or "I'm special because I went through this" behavior
My sister tends to brag about her trauma and it can be jarring to other people, but that’s her way coping. If she’s not laughing about it, she’s crying.
The trauma thing is sooo trueeeee. Has anyone else felt that some people who have experienced trauma make you feel like you are a child who hasnt seen life?? I feel so inexperienced and immature when that happens
YES. There are people who brag about staying at work until 2AM working on a project! Go home! If you can't get the work done during the normal workday that's an issue that needs to be addressed, whether it is too much work for the available staff or you being bad at prioritizing! I have a life outside of work, and it isn't flashy but it's mine.
Kat Badly PREACH! It’s low productivity (which is probably due to their sleep deprived brains!) and you know what other creature is busy? A mule! Doesn’t mean it’s innovative or creative or brilliant.
Did you ever think of people with another biological rhythm that makes it harder to work early in the morning so we mostly function at night? That's a normal thing which is completely underrepresented in today's world. Some people are just not made for 9-to-5-jobs. Employers just help making it less acceptable for us to work as we should according to our productivity levels throughout the day.
Caught myself all of last year bragging about my exhaustion and working hours in architecture school as a call out for help and frustration because I felt misunderstood about my efforts. THIS YEAR I’ve made an effort to prioritise my time and health and understand that all in good time and I have no need to use energy to prove my self worth. Anna you’re incredible in aiding this self growth process.
me as a medical student i used to do the “not getting enough sleep brag” till i figure out that either no one cared or that all my peers had to do that, so... eventually it lost its importance
When I mention how little sleep I got the night before, it's not bragging… it's kind of complaining and just wishing I got more, and acknowledging that I need to work on organizing and prioritizing more so I can actually get the sleep I need. I really hope no one thinks it's bragging… (I try not to talk about it much anyway, because I don't want to complain too much, either. I generally only mention it when it's relevant -- i.e., when someone's wondering why I worked late, and it's because I came in late, which is because I went to bed so late…) I'm a bit jealous of people who can actually get to bed by midnight consistently.
I once had a "friend" who was jealous when my mental health got so bad I was hospitalised because it meant she wasn't the biggest victim any more. Like ????? Anna is so on point as always
Jesse Ly I don’t think opening up to a select trusted one or two is flaunting it. Once it starts to become an identity for you or a justification for preventable behavior is when it’s a problem.
Thank you Anna!! That last one is definitely relatable!! My dad does it all the time. I tell everyone that I haven't had a tough life, because in the end it's just stories that I use to connect with people. It doesn't mean you shouldn't talk about your hard times, it's just that you shouldn't give off the vibe that you have it harder than everyone else. For all you know, the exact person you're talking to could have been through much worse.
Reminds me, this week I offered my sympathy and understanding to a co-worker who's having back surgery and I told her that I have been a caregiver to my parents surgeries, offering her words of encouragement and that I wish her the best in her journey only for her to tell me, yeah it wasn't you who had the surgery so you wouldn't know... I didn't know that I was in a competition, I was being a friend and offering support. Who freaking wants to brag about having surgery people? 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ It's a comment that's annoyed me all week. So I get you Anna ! Stay awesome pawesome!
I was definitely the person who came into class saying how little sleep I had and, now I'm realizing, bragging about how I was overworking myself. I did begin to notice in my last semester that we would talk and basically try to one up each other on how little sleep we got or how late we were staying in lab. In the moment I realized something was wrong but couldn't place it or figure out how to change the behavior. This hit the nail on the head for me though.
Yo, all of this is so real. Drive me crazy how there are all these things that people do that really serve no purpose other than putting other people down, and diminishing their sense of worth so you can feel more Worthy; it's ridiculous.
You never cease to surprise me and make me happy. Absolutely yes to bragging about things that are seriously unhealthy. I think it's their way of trying to normalize the behavior so that they don't feel bad about it. I think this is really a societal thing and applies to SO many other facets of our society.
I"ve always been the older sister, the eldest cousin and the "mom" of my groups of friends. It's cool and all, but sometimes I need advice about life and stuff like that. You're literally the most informative channel for me and whenever I watch ur vids I feel like ur my older sister I never had
Careful on that last one. I had cancer and barely mentioning people get awkward not to mention people isolate others with trauma like mental illness. Back in high school I’m pretty sure I was just seen as the kid that got cancer and is depressed and anxiety which was so far from reality. i didn’t go around flexing it, or bragging. But people should be allowed to talk about it openly without it making them weird or others “uncomfortable”. The amount of times I’ve heard my cancer experience them “uncomfortable”.
Some people can find catharsis in competing for who's the most traumatized. It only works both ways, so you'll know if someone's doing it in an acceptable way if the other person does the exact same thing right back to them
I probably talk about my trauma too much but it's mostly because it's such a huge part of who I am and I'm constantly trying to understand my life through the lens of that trauma. I'm working on it.
Not gonna lie I've been guilty of a couple of these but I'm trying to stop because I've realised it isn't healthy for me or the people around me and I am grateful that you are always sharing the truth. ❤️
Yup I'm definitely guilty. I've noticed this problem about myself recently and have been trying to change but I've still got a long road ahead of me... Hopefully by the end of it I'll be a better communicator and a better friend.
Thank you! As girls and women we are raised to say that "we are not like other women", implying that we are more special or less drama or something. But really, saying that is just a bit like saying "Oh, I have more boy friends you know, I don't really like girls they are too complicated and chat too much and details and makeup and drama, no we are not a-like". Why the need to diss other women and putting them down by saying this? And there is pretty much every personalities in this world, you can find a female friend that does like makeup or cars or whatever. Your friendships or relations are not influenced by what the person has between their legs. Thank you Anna!
I was just reading some of these comments and I must say, Anna has one of the kindest fan bases with very good mindsets. There often seems to be a lot less toxicity in these comment section. Makes me happy to see
I Remember my old friend with anxiety telling me to order food because my anxiety wasn’t “as bad” and hers was “way worse”.. She wasn’t even diagnosed, I was
PREACH with the one about the bragging about trauma. I've been around people who try to one-up me when talking about trauma and it's so weird. I remember one time, I was upset because some people were bullying me and the girl I was talking to go mad at me because *she'd been bullied PHYSICALLY before!! - WAAAY worse than me* - therefore I couldn't complain about being in pain!?!?!
Suprita ch ‘ThE dEsSeRt Is CalLeD lEcHe fLaN aNd ItS cReAtEd In tHe PhIlIpInEs’ this dessert exists in several places and is called different things based on the place
I feel like Anna was guilty of some of them and has evolved so now she really doesn’t like them because she knows how toxic it is for yourself. We praise a retrospective queen who acknowledges her flaws. 🙌✨❤️
i feel like there's a constant battle to have the most illnesses, and sleep the least out of everyone and to just have the most toxic lifestyle out of everyone, like how tf did this happen?
Our culture tends to sportsify everything, so even dealing with difficulties in life become events and competition. One thing I try to do is spot "misery contests" before I get sucked into them.
I just discovered you and you are so great. I’m 54 and would have given anything to have your advice when I was younger. All women really need to watch your channel. ❤️❤️
Once my classmate was literally bragging about being depressed and starving herself for 12 days. She was like "oh this won't hurt me I starved myself for 12 days"
that's not bragging you fool, that's a cry for help. That is a person with a life in serious danger and all your pea-sized brain thinks is "durr durrr durrr they are bragging"
The trauma one is honestly probably the one I most dislike, because it's inherently invalidating! I knew someone who used their trauma as a justification for being more "mature" than me and someone else and while they didn't mean anything bad about it, it always rubbed me the wrong way because both of us also our own issues in life and it felt like she was invalidating it. Honestly, great message, Anna, totally agree!!
100% agree aside, i'm loving the new look! softer brows, bolder lips and those hoop earrings. never stop making content if possible, love you and your mind
Last year, most of my classmates as well as me brag about who has the least amount of sleep. (We were only in 9th grade that time.) After watching this, I realized that unhealthy lifestyle is not something to brag about and that health should be prioritize over a frivolous competition. I learned my lesson now. Thanks!
I respect Anna Akana so much as a creator of amazing content, that even when I have the urge to stop watching at the end of her videos (the ads) I watch until the end!
If I talk about my mental illness, how long since I ate, or my lack of sleep it's because I'm dying for permission to slow down and take care of myself and validation that I'm working hard enough. It's gross that people consider would "brag" about that.
I’m pretty sure that people who actually went through trauma wouldn’t just brag about their traumatic experience. Maybe they would like open up about it when their ready- but like there’s always that oneeeeeee dude that’s like “BAHAHAHAHAHAH YOU THINK YOUR LIFE IS HARD?” Like- Stop
Oversharing is often a symptom of PTSD, when I was going through therapy I went from not talking about my trauma with anyone, then a stage of oversharing, than a stage of finally accepting it. If someone told me during that second stage that talking about my trauma too much invalidated it, it would have really fucked up my healing process. So while I agree with not one-upping with Trauma, talking about it with others with what can seem to be “too much” is something that needs to be treated and handled separately, not invalidated.
A lot of people who brag are just insecure or want someone to relate to. Like if I'm talking about how little sleep i got last night, I'm not proud, i just want a comrade who's not a chipper morning person who understands me. When i say "omg i only got 5 hrs of sleep last night" i just want someone to say that "you can make it! I believe in you!". Its really only bragging if its consistent behavior that they refuse to acknowledge is bad and/or get help for.
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
The trauma one-upmanship really rubs me the wrong way, especially when it's used to invalidate other people's trauma.
Kinda unrelated but it reminds of when I see certain people oversharing too much about certain problems in their life. Like, if you're gonna post something personal don't showcase it to everyone on your public account, we have private accounts for things like that 💀
haha lol ur just jelly cuz u have it easy
Ayberch if you don’t mind me asking, why would someone be jealous of having to deal with traumatic events and feelings? Wouldn’t it be preferable to want a stress free, mainly happy and content life over a dark and sad one?
Ayberch I really don't understand what your point is. I'm very fortunate to have lived a relatively trauma free life but that can't be said for my friends who constantly have their anxieties and pain minimised by people who supposedly had it worse one way or another.
Rowen Mellenger-Brown that's a good term for it! Maybe we can call it Trauma-lympics, or the traumanwealth games to highlight the absurdity of this behaviour.
1. Exhaustion as a status symbol
2. Escaping your pain as a source of pride
3. Saying you're not like other women
4. Claiming successes that aren't your own to elevate your worth
5. Using your trauma as a way to feel superior to others
Also, people who brag about mental illness and like 'how many they have' or 'how bad/ rare they are'. Such a weird flex and it always makes me super uncomfortable
Yep, and that’s pretty much 99% of teenagers and people on the internet.
I completely agree. Sharing experience and how to deal with mental illness when it get hard is one thing but flaunting it is kind of odd
LiTerally
Big L YES
Luke Burr legit I’ve met so many people say. I’m so depressed. And they’re not venting or anything. Like what
I read somewhere: there's no difference between drowning in a river and drowning in a ocean, both are terrible experiences and what matters is how you recover from it.
And the trauma thing just really reminded me of it :p
ooo that's a good one! yes!
There is actually..
Drowning in fresh water (river) feels like drowning in water
While
Drowning in salt water (ocean) will literally drown you in blood.. Basically you're drowning both in your own blood and water
Because of the salt content of the ocean, when you drink too much salt water, your cells will just explode and then boom, you're suffocating with your own blood..
Too weird for me to know that but yeah
Both experience are terrible, the level of damage is just different
But yea, what matters is how you recover..
If you recover at least
"If you brag about trauma, it's not trauma, it's a story."
The most truth I've heard today
omgharleywtf No. nobody accused those women of such.
I have a friend who suffered from post-partum. She's fine now but she keeps telling the same stories again and again from when she was going through that. At this point, I'm not sure if it's trauma or she likes telling stories.
@@LatinChickWithMedley Could be the attention that comes with telling the stories. Makes her feel better with that attention. Special almost.
@@usernameisunavailable8270 Right. But I'm not sure how to nicely tell her "You already told that story before" you know?
Usually if someone tells me the same story I will say something like "oh my gosh, I remember you mentioning this before, how are you feeling about it now? Are you working through it?"
Usually people are just trying to let a load off without going deep because they're too scared.
I find it so sad, because it's usually such a subtle cry for help most people don't bother to notice it and just find them annoying. They probably feel as much of a burden as you are finding them, they just can't help it. I just find it helps people to think about the actual feelings of the issue, instead of just asking for sympathy ♡
I have this term called being a “pity-bragger”... someone who brags about having a worse life than you too in order for you to be more sympathetic to them. Like:
“Oh my god I slept so little last night, like only 7 hours I’m so tired”
“Oh haha I slept 4 hours I’m so tired oh my god...”
Or like if you had homework and you rant about it and then your friend says “you think THATS bad? I have tutoring 9 hours every week and coaching 6 hours a week!”
I think (just my opinion) that when someone does that, it's a sign that they are in need of validation. They might feel like no one recognized how much they are struggling so they are tying to show it by one uping others.
LOL. If you are complaining about only getting 7 hours of sleep then you've got some nerve trying to mock the other person as being a "pity bragger"... 7 hours? 7 hours is a great night of sleep! Do you usually sleep for 10 hours or something?
@@Joseph-nh6in I literally don’t know why I said 7 hours because that’s pretty normal for me as well but like I just know so many people where it’s like yeah aha I’m so tired I slept at 1 trying to finish this assignment and then the other persons like oh you think that’s bad I slept at 4am and it’s like tf uh
@@Joseph-nh6in actually kids from like 9-14 or something need 8-10 hours of sleep to be fully energized, search it up it's called science
i am SO GLAD you mentioned the sleep one bc how little sleep you get is worn like a badge of honour like "i stayed up until fIVE AM last night studying" "that's impressive karen well guess what i stayed up until siX THIRTY and i had to get up at SIX TWENTY" like no pls sleep your brain is slowly shutting down
This sounds like a conversation my friends and I actually had regularly at my old private school.
I used to have a complex, thinking if I slept more than 5 hrs it means I'm weak, because I overheard other students say how they didn't need more than 5 hours of sleep. So from 7th to 10th grade I would be half asleep in class most of the time, chronologically sleep deprived, at the same time could never admit to myself how tired I actually was and that I needed more sleep. All because I didn't want to feel inferior to the other students.
Sophie May I always felt like people like you were bragging about your long time sleep hours because I have insomnia.
The fact that they brag about it trully shows how their brain is getting damaged.
@@sophiemay9645 exactly!! apparently it's become super harmful with things like med students and whatever bc obviously you need to do a lot of studying and people want to seem like they work the hardest, and somehow "working hard" became synonymous with "less sleep" which is actually just insane
If you brag about NOT bragging... is that practically bragging?
🤔🤔🤔
Yep
Yepp
Is that a paradox?
yeah you are, and no it's not a paradox; if you brag about not bragging, then you are just confused. You can't brag about the fact that you are not bragging because if you do, then you just contradict yourself, because now you are bragging. If you don't brag about not bragging, then you are not bragging. Easy right?
@@pladselsker8340 LMAO 😂
can we please stop bragging about skipping meals? it rlly helps people with EDs when everyone talks about how they “haven’t eaten in 72 hours”
This is so true...It definitely can be triggering!
Well if they don't eat for 72 hours then they probably have it too though? That ain't healthy. They are probably asking for help in a "hahah oops relatable" way. Idk though.
I used to brag about this.. I was too dumb to realize the damage I was doing to my body.
"i basically live on iced coffee!"
@@colleen7793 that's awful get help and don't brag about it. It's really annoying
Although there is a lot of truth to these points, I feel that people who very often interpret behaviors as bragging are projecting. Sometimes people want to share information about their lives and their relations like humans do, and if you choose to assume that it's bragging, it might say more about what makes you feel insecure. Not to say that there doesn't exist toxic bragging behaviors.
Touche'
Keep bragging sis
Totally agree
Exactly. People are just sharing not really bragging. A lady was talking about how she sleeps for only 5 hours yesterday and I didn’t take it as bragging
Yeah that’s true too but I mean when I feel the need to “share” imma be honest and say most of the time it’s bragging lol
Every College Student needs to see this
True
Seriously..... they need to,
You said it
High school students too
Is it a problem if I brag about bad degrees?
sometimes, probably more often than not, "flaunting trauma" is a cry for help
Yeah it sounds like a coping mechanism. I know it's messed up to invalidate others' trauma by trying to one up but they might not be doing it on purpose and could need professional help.
Wait I’m confused now
@@hiphipjorge5755 how can i help someone who flaunts their trauma? like what do i say in that situation?
@@marianna380 just listen to them, compliment them on their courage
@@zahraamin164 thats true
Anna Akana is better than any self help book!
Anna Alana IS a self help book
s A M E
Speaks accept yourself but wears amazing amounts of makeup and does breast enhancement surgery. Hypocrisy at it's best. What she saies is amazing but everybody knows it. Acting upon it is the true key.
Valaki Valahonnan
People can accept themselves and wear makeup and do plastic surgery? People see makeup as an art form and enjoy it. Plastic surgery is a personal choice. Doesn’t make someone any less of a person. Maybe their intentions and personal desires can affect their character, but what she promotes still applies. But I guess thats your opinion.
@@luvi4091 you obviously do not understand the concept of accepting yourself. If you do, you don't need surgery. Did you see the episode in House M.D. where the woman got surgery not to become fat? The reaction of those following here were obviously not happy. You might want to watch the episode and search for the meaning of the two words...
The no sleeping thing is SO common in college, I'm really sick of it, I try to sleep at least 6 hours, but the more the better, and it's like if you sleep, you're not cool.
Being responsible isn’t ever really cool though, is it? 💖
*Anna coming in with the TRUTH* You out here curing people's narcissism and depression all at once!
as if narcissism had a cure
@@PolarxOx Haha so trueee!
This is some fire content and I’m 100% here for it!
Jasmine Vo I was gonna say something like this and then saw your comment that perfectly described what I was gonna say lol.
@@oliverclaymusic6881 Oh I love how we think alike! PS. You're so good at singing!
our interns at work bragging about how wasted they got at the weekend, saying to me, you know how it is.
me: i don't drink alcohol.
he: you missing out the past part in life!
me: you must have a really terrible life, when alcohol is the best thing in it.
@melissa fynn - yep! 👍👍👍👍
Damn that burn. But you're not wrong though.
you just sound like a self-righteous asshole
While I drink alcohol, I’ve actually only been drunk once in my life. I’m the same way, I don’t find joy from being wasted, so I usually stop around two drinks. Our culture as a whole but especially college where I’m at really pushes “Alcohol is the best and only way to have a good time”. It’s such a lie & I don’t want to exasperate my depression with alcohol. I’m happy more sober cocktails & non alcoholic drinks at bars and stuff are becoming normalized as I feel like sober people are often left out of socializing when it revolves all around alcohol. I don’t mind if people want to get drunk but yeah the idea that alcohol is the best thing in life & trying to shame a sober person is lame.
@@Joseph-nh6in and you just sound like an asshole.
I don't even brag about overworking and being sleep deprived but I GOT ATTACKED
Same lmaooooo
weird way to flex but okay
Sammeeee
I got attacked for the people I know that are like that
Same
I'm guilty of so many of these, I need to re-examine my behaviour. Can't afford any form of therapy so, thank you Anna. Your videos make a difference.
"Cause if you flaunt your trauma it isn't trauma." 👏
Its a story
YASSSSSSS
I have OCD and at some points I felt compulsion to share my trauma with people to calm myself down. Of course I wasn't bragging, just in an anxious state.
Could someone elaborate flaunting trauma vs opening up about trauma?
the scenario is friends are talking trauma and I see it as an icebreaker to open up. The feeling I have is that my traumas arent relatable till I hear someone talking of the topic.
@@jessely4916 I believe that by "flaunting your trauma" they mean showcasing it online and basically acting like it's cool to have depression, anxiety etc. Sometimes these individuals (SOME of them, in case someone comes for my neck for generalizing) even go as far as acting superior because of their mental illnesses. Not very cool imo
When you think someone may be trauma/mental health bragging, please be compassionate. They may be sharing their experience with you because they trust you and want you to understand them better, but aren’t good at expressing it. Keep an open mind and an open heart. You can listen to what they have to say and if they still sound like they’re just bragging, you can just say “thank you for sharing that with me” and leave it at that. Thanks! ❤
"I'm not like OTHER GIRLS ❌🚫. My entire identity is based on male acceptance 👍👨 and internalized mysoginy 😘💯"
''and bottled up borderline mysandristry :D''
Gurl lmao 😂
Or, you're just not like other girls. That's OK! What's wrong with being different?
The trauma one can sometimes be confused with not knowing how to talk about it and just kinda... Throwing it out like "HERE! NOW YOU KNOW! LET'S GET BACK TO NORMAL LIFE!".
whys that even in this?
Or people who don't work but brag about owning an expensive car... You'd be surprised how many are actually impressed when truly it's the parent's hard work...
their instagrams full of pictures of them travelling around the world but you never see them work... mmhhm...
Balancing talking about trauma is hard. I usually try to bring up what happened to me to help remind my friends to be mindful what they say and so they don’t accidentally trigger my PTSD. And its so important to talk about it. But like Anna said, it worries me that by talking about it, people think I’m just ‘telling this story’ and its not hard for me. I hate feeling annoying. But I also want to spread awareness! And I am guilty of saying ‘I went through something similar!’. I hope that it doesn’t come across as bragging when I’m trying to heal.
The exhaustion brag is the actual WORST.
Or comparing how much coffee they had. Caffeine addiction is a thing 😔
my friends and I made a habit of telling each other when we sleep and wake up in conversations so the others can make an effort to help them get more sleep. like if my friend slept at 4:30 bc she was working on an assignment, she'd send a quick text saying "goodnight" at that time so everyone is aware that she needs extra care; we'd encourage her to leave her phone, get her a cup of coffee and breakfast in the morning, etc etc.. so yeah. we turned the brags into a healthy system and I could never be more proud of the friends I have 😊
I brag without realizing it! The cringe is real aha
😬 how so? What do you say?
Im so happy that you talked about the “trauma bragging”
One time I had two of my friends bragging about their traumas and discussing about whose traumas are worse. They were like “yes omg I cry like everyday twice” and the other one responded “ugh I wish, I cry every HOUR” and the other one was like “oh yeah? but I have a mental breakdown everyday!” And I told them so many time that that wasn’t a competition and their discussion is silly but they were sooo into whose more traumatized that they just ignored me smh
I think that they need validation. They need someone to recognize that they are struggling.
thats not bragging. thats saying you need help dummy
Absolutely THANK YOU. I was having this conversation with a friend a while back about how we started noticing that people talk about their lack of sleep as something to be proud of and to compare each other against. Obviously it extends further but this kind of mentality needs to be addressed.
It makes me think that our generation just doesn't know how to deal with these negative emotions and so it just manifests itself in this kind of strange "I stand out because ....." or "I'm special because I went through this" behavior
“Working too hard as a status symbol” - revolting but true
What if i said “ I just ruined my perfect c average with an A :(“
@@bonbon5717 tank your grade by getting an F on the next test. Boom your average is back to a C
that is somehow also a humble brag
I got a B on my test yesterday😭😭
That's funny do that
Cocky self-insult
My sister tends to brag about her trauma and it can be jarring to other people, but that’s her way coping. If she’s not laughing about it, she’s crying.
The trauma thing is sooo trueeeee. Has anyone else felt that some people who have experienced trauma make you feel like you are a child who hasnt seen life?? I feel so inexperienced and immature when that happens
*Business and lack of sleep is definitely not something to brag about! Take care of yourselves.*
YES. There are people who brag about staying at work until 2AM working on a project! Go home! If you can't get the work done during the normal workday that's an issue that needs to be addressed, whether it is too much work for the available staff or you being bad at prioritizing! I have a life outside of work, and it isn't flashy but it's mine.
Kat Badly PREACH! It’s low productivity (which is probably due to their sleep deprived brains!) and you know what other creature is busy? A mule! Doesn’t mean it’s innovative or creative or brilliant.
This is what I hate about exhaustion brags - it's an ingredient for toxic work culture and our society's obsession with productivity
Did you ever think of people with another biological rhythm that makes it harder to work early in the morning so we mostly function at night?
That's a normal thing which is completely underrepresented in today's world. Some people are just not made for 9-to-5-jobs. Employers just help making it less acceptable for us to work as we should according to our productivity levels throughout the day.
Caught myself all of last year bragging about my exhaustion and working hours in architecture school as a call out for help and frustration because I felt misunderstood about my efforts. THIS YEAR I’ve made an effort to prioritise my time and health and understand that all in good time and I have no need to use energy to prove my self worth.
Anna you’re incredible in aiding this self growth process.
me as a medical student i used to do the “not getting enough sleep brag” till i figure out that either no one cared or that all my peers had to do that, so... eventually it lost its importance
00:44 haha love 0 doubt in this statement! coming from someone who is so reasoned and empathic gives it that extra passion. love it
ur so funny x
When I mention how little sleep I got the night before, it's not bragging… it's kind of complaining and just wishing I got more, and acknowledging that I need to work on organizing and prioritizing more so I can actually get the sleep I need. I really hope no one thinks it's bragging…
(I try not to talk about it much anyway, because I don't want to complain too much, either. I generally only mention it when it's relevant -- i.e., when someone's wondering why I worked late, and it's because I came in late, which is because I went to bed so late…)
I'm a bit jealous of people who can actually get to bed by midnight consistently.
I once had a "friend" who was jealous when my mental health got so bad I was hospitalised because it meant she wasn't the biggest victim any more. Like ?????
Anna is so on point as always
I have trouble distinguishing flaunting trauma and speaking up about trauma/ opening up about trauma
Jesse Ly I don’t think opening up to a select trusted one or two is flaunting it. Once it starts to become an identity for you or a justification for preventable behavior is when it’s a problem.
maybe you have pick up that people have too much drama/trauma.
Mentioning you're not doing well is ok, but it shouldn't be to one-up someone or to seem cool since you're in pain
Thank you Anna!! That last one is definitely relatable!! My dad does it all the time. I tell everyone that I haven't had a tough life, because in the end it's just stories that I use to connect with people.
It doesn't mean you shouldn't talk about your hard times, it's just that you shouldn't give off the vibe that you have it harder than everyone else. For all you know, the exact person you're talking to could have been through much worse.
GIRL PREACH
this is all so accurate
Reminds me, this week I offered my sympathy and understanding to a co-worker who's having back surgery and I told her that I have been a caregiver to my parents surgeries, offering her words of encouragement and that I wish her the best in her journey only for her to tell me, yeah it wasn't you who had the surgery so you wouldn't know... I didn't know that I was in a competition, I was being a friend and offering support. Who freaking wants to brag about having surgery people? 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ It's a comment that's annoyed me all week. So I get you Anna ! Stay awesome pawesome!
Anna akana is better than my therapist
You need a new therapist lol. No RUclipsr that doesn't directly address your issues should be better then their therapist.
Also better than the rapist i have
I was definitely the person who came into class saying how little sleep I had and, now I'm realizing, bragging about how I was overworking myself. I did begin to notice in my last semester that we would talk and basically try to one up each other on how little sleep we got or how late we were staying in lab. In the moment I realized something was wrong but couldn't place it or figure out how to change the behavior. This hit the nail on the head for me though.
Watching her videos counts as bettering myself tbh
You are such a gift from heaven. Being able to educate people in such a humorous way givin an exampel how to behave properly in a healthy way 🤗🤗🤗🌻
Bold of you to assume that I actually have something to brag about in my life.🙌
Bragging about how tired you are and how much work you have to do is such a pillar of college culture and so hard to not get sucked into
"if you flaunt your trauma, its not trauma its a story" GIRL GO OFF YES QUEEN
Yo, all of this is so real. Drive me crazy how there are all these things that people do that really serve no purpose other than putting other people down, and diminishing their sense of worth so you can feel more Worthy; it's ridiculous.
SO MUCH YES on the exhaustion bragging! A friend of mine needs to see this for when she talks about work.
You never cease to surprise me and make me happy. Absolutely yes to bragging about things that are seriously unhealthy. I think it's their way of trying to normalize the behavior so that they don't feel bad about it. I think this is really a societal thing and applies to SO many other facets of our society.
THIS IS SUCH A BIG MOOD every time anyone I know boasts abouts doing things that are bad for them I die a little inside :(
I"ve always been the older sister, the eldest cousin and the "mom" of my groups of friends. It's cool and all, but sometimes I need advice about life and stuff like that. You're literally the most informative channel for me and whenever I watch ur vids I feel like ur my older sister I never had
*mY tRaUmA lvl Is OvR 9,o00* but tbh Anna Akana gives off nigahiga vibes and that’s a great thing.
YES
I want to like, but it's at exactly 420 likes, so I'm afraid I can't.
Debbie :P just comment another 65 times for me will ya :)
What’s “nigahiga”??
@@raulnsherah 0_0 I can't even right now........he's one of the top 10 OG RUclipsrs.
Careful on that last one. I had cancer and barely mentioning people get awkward not to mention people isolate others with trauma like mental illness. Back in high school I’m pretty sure I was just seen as the kid that got cancer and is depressed and anxiety which was so far from reality. i didn’t go around flexing it, or bragging. But people should be allowed to talk about it openly without it making them weird or others “uncomfortable”. The amount of times I’ve heard my cancer experience them “uncomfortable”.
Some people can find catharsis in competing for who's the most traumatized. It only works both ways, so you'll know if someone's doing it in an acceptable way if the other person does the exact same thing right back to them
I feel the day of selfishness needs to be over and a new day of humility needs to come, we are all vulnerable, me and everyone around us.
*"If you flaunt your trauma it's not trauma, it's a story"* -Anna Akana 2019 and my new fave quote
I probably talk about my trauma too much but it's mostly because it's such a huge part of who I am and I'm constantly trying to understand my life through the lens of that trauma. I'm working on it.
2:27 only Anna can DRAG someone through dirt and still mange to keep it classy! Long live the queen! Lol
Not gonna lie I've been guilty of a couple of these but I'm trying to stop because I've realised it isn't healthy for me or the people around me and I am grateful that you are always sharing the truth. ❤️
"If you flaunt your trauma it's not trauma, it's a story." Exactly! Stealing this line.
Yup I'm definitely guilty. I've noticed this problem about myself recently and have been trying to change but I've still got a long road ahead of me... Hopefully by the end of it I'll be a better communicator and a better friend.
Yep bragging about being depressed ain't cute 😒
yesss
People who do that are likely in need of validation. They probably feel like they have to prove that they are struggling.
people dont brag about that. that makes no sense
Thank you! As girls and women we are raised to say that "we are not like other women", implying that we are more special or less drama or something. But really, saying that is just a bit like saying "Oh, I have more boy friends you know, I don't really like girls they are too complicated and chat too much and details and makeup and drama, no we are not a-like". Why the need to diss other women and putting them down by saying this? And there is pretty much every personalities in this world, you can find a female friend that does like makeup or cars or whatever. Your friendships or relations are not influenced by what the person has between their legs. Thank you Anna!
If you didn't earn it or work hard for it.. you shouldn't be proud of it. Period.
Finding money at your feet can be considered earn't as you got to where you are in life :)
@@johndawhale3197 "If not within your realm of control or work ethic"...
I was just reading some of these comments and I must say, Anna has one of the kindest fan bases with very good mindsets. There often seems to be a lot less toxicity in these comment section. Makes me happy to see
I Remember my old friend with anxiety telling me to order food because my anxiety wasn’t “as bad” and hers was “way worse”..
She wasn’t even diagnosed, I was
PREACH with the one about the bragging about trauma. I've been around people who try to one-up me when talking about trauma and it's so weird. I remember one time, I was upset because some people were bullying me and the girl I was talking to go mad at me because *she'd been bullied PHYSICALLY before!! - WAAAY worse than me* - therefore I couldn't complain about being in pain!?!?!
Honestly , I hope there’s a filipino version of this😂 . There’s so much things they need to stop bragging about.
@packer9 bro deadass😂😂
@packer9 dude! 😂
Suprita ch ‘ThE dEsSeRt Is CalLeD lEcHe fLaN aNd ItS cReAtEd In tHe PhIlIpInEs’
this dessert exists in several
places and is called different things based on the place
What do they brag about @camille anne I really wanna know hahahah
GOTTA STOP BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR CHILD’S ACCOMPLISHMENTS LIKE THEY’RE YOUR OWN.
I feel like Anna was guilty of some of them and has evolved so now she really doesn’t like them because she knows how toxic it is for yourself. We praise a retrospective queen who acknowledges her flaws. 🙌✨❤️
college students bragging about being the most broke lmao
i feel like there's a constant battle to have the most illnesses, and sleep the least out of everyone and to just have the most toxic lifestyle out of everyone, like how tf did this happen?
Finally someone’s talking bout this☺️
Our culture tends to sportsify everything, so even dealing with difficulties in life become events and competition. One thing I try to do is spot "misery contests" before I get sucked into them.
Lol, 💯 “if you flaunt your drama, it’s not drama, it’s a story.” 🤙🏼
trauma*
I just discovered you and you are so great. I’m 54 and would have given anything to have your advice when I was younger. All women really need to watch your channel. ❤️❤️
Once my classmate was literally bragging about being depressed and starving herself for 12 days. She was like "oh this won't hurt me I starved myself for 12 days"
Malayali aano ?
that's not bragging you fool, that's a cry for help. That is a person with a life in serious danger and all your pea-sized brain thinks is "durr durrr durrr they are bragging"
@@Joseph-nh6in no she is making it all up . shes faking it for attention
The trauma one is honestly probably the one I most dislike, because it's inherently invalidating! I knew someone who used their trauma as a justification for being more "mature" than me and someone else and while they didn't mean anything bad about it, it always rubbed me the wrong way because both of us also our own issues in life and it felt like she was invalidating it. Honestly, great message, Anna, totally agree!!
This is so good, accurate, and true lol. Love your videos.
100% agree aside, i'm loving the new look! softer brows, bolder lips and those hoop earrings. never stop making content if possible, love you and your mind
Your videos never fail to make my day!!
Last year, most of my classmates as well as me brag about who has the least amount of sleep. (We were only in 9th grade that time.) After watching this, I realized that unhealthy lifestyle is not something to brag about and that health should be prioritize over a frivolous competition. I learned my lesson now. Thanks!
Yes Anna! SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE AT THE BACK, please
Watching Anna is like gaining wisdom without all the headache and heartache.
2:42 The moment I realized the mustache person is supposed to be a guy. I just thought it was a female character that likes to dress up as Luigi.
LMAO SAME
LMAOOO
Same.
yeah, so true especially the trauma one its like the "not like other girls cuz im emo depressed". pleaaase STOP faking depression ITS A REAL THING.
I wish I could stop people bragging about themselves like her
I respect Anna Akana so much as a creator of amazing content, that even when I have the urge to stop watching at the end of her videos (the ads) I watch until the end!
why don't you say "stay awesome gotham" anymore :(
oh yeah i actually never noticed that
Because it’s not her anymore
@@sunnysweet4183 are you saying that isn't the real Anna Akana? That she's been replaced by an impostor?
I also demand an answer!!
Gotham is DC and Anna is in the MCU?
The creativity used to help simply the knowledge of our well being is outstanding, love you Anna.😊
If I talk about my mental illness, how long since I ate, or my lack of sleep it's because I'm dying for permission to slow down and take care of myself and validation that I'm working hard enough.
It's gross that people consider would "brag" about that.
I know exactly what you mean.
I'm grateful for those I put outside the door of my life. I'm grateful to myself to eventually set myself free from them!!! Oh, fresh air !!!!!
I’m pretty sure that people who actually went through trauma wouldn’t just brag about their traumatic experience. Maybe they would like open up about it when their ready- but like there’s always that oneeeeeee dude that’s like “BAHAHAHAHAHAH YOU THINK YOUR LIFE IS HARD?”
Like-
Stop
Oversharing is often a symptom of PTSD, when I was going through therapy I went from not talking about my trauma with anyone, then a stage of oversharing, than a stage of finally accepting it. If someone told me during that second stage that talking about my trauma too much invalidated it, it would have really fucked up my healing process. So while I agree with not one-upping with Trauma, talking about it with others with what can seem to be “too much” is something that needs to be treated and handled separately, not invalidated.
oh god I'm so guilty of the exhaustion brag one this was a callout I needed
A lot of people who brag are just insecure or want someone to relate to. Like if I'm talking about how little sleep i got last night, I'm not proud, i just want a comrade who's not a chipper morning person who understands me. When i say "omg i only got 5 hrs of sleep last night" i just want someone to say that "you can make it! I believe in you!". Its really only bragging if its consistent behavior that they refuse to acknowledge is bad and/or get help for.