“The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.”
I have the same problem. Well if friends tell me something nice it is not that bad...but it is also different.... but when strangers give a compliment ( it doesnt even matter if it is a girl or a guy) it feels very strange....but especially when guys tell it. Idk ...I always feel like they are lying....
i dont know if its a girl think to get compliments, but i cant remember getting a compliment by anyone im not related to. (I did have a relationship once, but that was when i was 14 and she was my childhood friend.
of course, Anna is talking about her own case and problems, while yours might be totally different. Might be a good thing to look into :) But thanks Anna for making me feel less weird again. I can tick a few boxes there, and also as a serial monogamist I never considered myself to be afraid of real human connection, but I learned last year that I do. I'm doing better now, and you will too!
@@pixie_laluna I think it's the same for me. I'm not necessarily AFRAID of intimacy, but I don't want it right now. I want to advance my life and become someone with financial independence, an advancing career, more maturity, etc. I'm also pretty young (17) and so I'm living underneath my parents roof still. I'm not so afraid as I am just knowing it's not the right time
Jonathan Paspula I just only wish I had as much insight as you do at your age. I use too but as I got older I ignored life as a whole. Just never loose focus of your goal. I’m 25 and just now figuring this all out!
I think people don't understand that many men can hide this feeling. I know I can, everyone thinks I'm normal and just haven't "found" the right one. They have no idea I have terrible anxiety at the prospect of begining a relationship. Boys have some terrible childhoods too.
You damn right. I was dating a guy that I now realise was afraid of intimacy. He absolutely broke my heart, I kept asking him what I did wrong and he only said he didn't know. Beware the people that afraid of intimacy, they will break your heart
@@starcherry6814 unless you find one who wants to work through it. But if you insult him for it or otherwise react like the one who hurt him early in life (usually Mama) he will flee like an abused cat at an open door.
Not necessarily, the friendzone is fake in the sense that the rules state that if you where not friends or if you tried earlier they’d be into you when that just isn’t the case. If they would like you in that way they already would. Both people need to be interested to have a relationship my dude
Doesn't work for everyone. Personally if I don't sleep with a girl soon enough, I slowly start to see her more and more as a sister and eventually lose my sexual desire for her.
I'm afraid of intimacy because I'm 23 and have never had a relationship, and I feel like I'm the only clueless one when everybody else at least kinda knows what they're doing.
@Bekah L. so true! I've been dating since I was 16 (I'm 25 now) and I honestly still have no idea what I'm doing!! Time to focus on family, friends and hobbies! :DDD
My sister's first good boyfriend was a classmate named Elliot and he was *perfect.* My parents saw it. Her friends saw it. I saw it (and as a younger brother, I should have been to sabotage him). When she broke up with him, he didn't get mad or clingy. He said "I hope you fall in love with someone who sees you for the incredible woman you are." I base my relationship decisions on this question: "What would Elliot think if I did this?"
That dude is perfect. I still remember my ex being kinda clingy in a way? He was like 'Plz tell me why I don't deserve u and vice versa??' I clearly told him I didn't want anything to do with him after.
this person text me goodmornings and say nice things to me, admitted that he was flirting with me, and i was like 'hold on, okay, but this is too much...' i think im afraid of intimacy too
For all the girls in her situation: You are all healthy women, you are attracted to men that dont care about you because that is a sign of high status in males (Since means abundance in female options to mate), evolution puts "the challange" that if you can change his attitude you will be rewarded with an upgrade in your social status and multiply your chances of survival, both of you and your offspring. Men know this and play along because we are designed to have as much sex with different women as we can (Again, this is a sign of a healthy male) That is why you dont feel attracted to a male that makes "everything right", since that is a sign that you (female) are not upgrading your social status. In more simple words, "bad guys" are the real price in evolution, you like them because you have everything right in your instinct, unfortunatelly for you, nature and evolution couldnt care less about your happiness or your long term mental health, and that is why antidepressants are becoming a trend in women, if a man treats you well you cant be aroused, you could settle down with him, but always feeling like he is inferior to you, or you could remain single and eventually your fertility will go away and with it your chances of getting a high status male. In the past, your grandma knew this and it was her duty to force you to not make this "mistake" (Is not really a mistake since is nature), and the way they did it is by arranging marriages and not letting women "sleep around". In our times, thanks to the sexual revolution we are all free and left alone with nature/instincts. This trait of human nature has been explained in all cultures, even in modern times in popular shows such as Seinfeld ruclips.net/video/0UXR8444n8c/видео.html
In the past couple of months, I realized that I have never told a guy “ I like you”. I’ve liked guys, but I’ve actually never said the words. Don’t know if that’s a fear of intimacy or rejection. In the future, I hope to actually tell a guy that as long as I really mean it
Yeah, I think it really is the wisest thing to do. That's why so many relationships are failing imo-peoe don't get to really know each other first on a friendship level. Because when they jump straight into romance, the lines become blurred with all the hormones that get involved. Hence, why so many married couples obviously start out in love, love each other...but further down the line, can't stand one another, because they don't actually LIKE one another 100%.
this is where I struggle - I used to think there needed to be a spark on the first date, then I tried "well, maybe it takes time to build chemistry" and subsequently went on 2-3 really tedious dates following the first one. And now I have no idea. My current baseline is I need to look forward to a date with someone *at least* as much as I'd look forward to hanging out with a platonic friend.
Wow. One of the most 'look yourself in the mirror and rethink everything you thought you knew' channels on RUclips. Thank you for sharing your own struggles, so we can identify and work through our own.
nah the feelings and struggles you have are just relatable to a wide audience, Anna is the is the one speaking about it but you could go on the street, talk to anyone and they'd feel the same way. maybe talk more about your feelings with your friends and family, I'm sure you're just staying quiet
Honestly yes because there’s someone out there experiencing something similar But it does not take away from what you are experiencing only you can understand that it isn’t something a person cannot get past
what if you have been working on self worth and compassion so much so that you came to love yourself and find your worth, you feel comfortable alone and ready to date, but as soon as you go and meet someone and they show interest you get turned off? I know I deserve to be loved, but I still am uncomfortable with intimacy. HELP. I had a massive crush on this guy and he was unavailable. Now he showed interest and I'm like "boy, bye."
I guess the fact that you’re seeing someone and you’re getting turn off after they showed their affection, you’re just thinking a lot of things or paranoid about it , it’s takes time to get there . Just try and date that person with no rush , I’ve been there it’s takes to get comfortable.
I’m afraid of intimacy because if I get into a serious relationship I’ll get married and then realize 30 years later that I’m bored or they’ve changed or they’re not who I thought they were and I’ll have an empty relationship based only on routine and obligation and I wasted my life being unhappy because I’m committed to this person I don’t really want to be with anymore but I’m scared to leave them because I’d lose the stability and comfort that my marriage gives me... no that’s not because my parents (and basically every other adult couple I knew growing up) never showed love to each other and eventually got divorced what are u talking about
Soo why do you think you have to marry someone? Ever thought about just going with the flow? Marriage is a very old concept. In my opinion it seems very unpractical in our modern society. Just don't do it, if you don't want to
LerobotZ While I agree that no one should get married if it's not their thing, marriage, secularly speaking, is a legal contract that grants you certain rights that would otherwise require their own separate legal contracts. Then there are the insurance and tax benefits.
first last I literally just wrote a novel about how I was terrified of getting caught in a failing marriage and you still say that women just get married so they can get cool stuff in a divorce? Maybe some women do but wow, thats next level insensitive
I have every single symptom you said! And have realised I have commitment issues. And I have never been in a relationship. Plus I am very independent and dont want to be with people all the time. Especially the same person again and again..
Oh wow... I truly learned this for the first time. I've never had a relationship longer than 2.5 months before and I'm 30. I just always said I've been picky... I also recently met someone Amazing and was wondering why the beginning isn't intense but feels like a slow burn.... Wish me luck folks. Thanks Anna!
Same age. The only thing I haven’t done with a girl is having an actual relationship. I did date a few times. And I had sex a few times. (Those two sentences are not related.) That’s about it.
I mean if you think about it. Beening intense with someone you just met at first is a huge stretch and just puts a lot of stress In my point of view ya know. It should just be chill and getting to know the person first. If you instantly like someone at first glance I'll just assume its lust and that feeling never stays the same.
@Obakeng Ngoepe Great question. I had a LOT more work to do than to just watch her videos, including going to therapy, addressing my deepest fears and desires, speaking to lots of people, etc.... and then 1.5 years later after going through all that stuff (still going through more now) - I found the LOVE OF MY LIFE. I LITERALLY DID. I had been online dating for 12 years, and I finally found someone incredible, same thing, online, when I was finally ready - someone that was at my level of maturity, ability to connect, ability to communicate and work through our problems, etc. The relationship is still work only because we're continuously working on keeping a safe space to share and understand each other better. Anyway, I thought I was cursed... but no, I just had to do the work. Good luck out there! And do the work if possible, if you have the resources, etc.
It's a shame that there's that me-too movement (just think there could have been a better name real lazy really everyone say me too when they have something in common 😒) think I loo... I loo...i-i-lo-loov... Me-too would have been funnier because if the whole "I love you...... Yeah me too" awkward reply that happens on films, shows and I guess real life
'IF I'M NOT SUFFERING, I'M CLEARLY NOT IN LOVE'. That was an eyeopener! I feel like past experiences, movies, books & music all lead to this idea that your relationship has to be challenging enough to be worthy of the title of love.
I was definitely caught off guard with those 6 symptoms. Never have I realized that I'm scared of intimacy just as much as i thought i crave for it. Maybe apart from lack of self worth, i guess one of the reasons why we subconsciously sabotage our love life is because, growing up, we never saw our parents showing intimacy/love with each other - either they end up being divorced or even if they're together but just living passively.
The parent thing is what I’ve been thinking for myself. I crave intimacy, but I know if someone touches me, and I mean here like hugs, it’s incredibly uncomfortable. It’s so strange because I crave them too, but when it happens it’s unbearable. Like my skin gets sensitive to touch, as if the slightest contact is incredibly ticklish. I’ve been thinking lately that I’ve never seen my parents show intimacy, not so much as a complement even, throughout my childhood until now in my mid-twenties. I’ve been wondering if this has any bearing on my experiences.
ANNA'S BACK ON TRACK, BABY!!! This, is more like it. I dig this about her. She's so spot-on describing the "develop yourself before you can accept someone worthy" thing! I've been working on it, getting good at it and now she couldn't have made it more clear! Thanks a mil, Anna. Total gem, this episode.
The capacity for closeness is the key to the success of any relationship, because it determines how much a person is able to love! Intimacy requires quite a bit of trust. We must have trust in someone in order to reveal the most personal and most confidential parts of ourselves to them, and we must know if we are able to accept the same most personal and most hurtful parts of the other, without them pressing and suffocating us.
I always come back to Anna’s videos when I’m in my feelings and super confused about what to do... I always feel better bc I remember that I can rewrite the narrative for my love life with intentionality... I don’t have to stay being the person who’s afraid of intimacy
I am afraid of intimacy in my dating life, but it shows differently. I don't even make it to the first date xD It's mostly like: "Oh my, this super sweet and handsome guy with beautiful eyes just smiled at me. Wow. He is my type! Well, I guess that's my moment to anxiously leave the store and hope that I never see him again. Bye!" - I know it's wrong. What I do about it? No idea where to start :'D Send money or help.
Haha, even though I'm male it's very relatable. I used to think the exact same thing. I'd say it's because you think either 'I don't deserve him' or 'He doesn't deserve me'. At least that was the case with me. My advice is: be assertive and talk to him anyway! In the worst case it's really awkward and you never see him again, in the better case you have a really fun conversation :D
0:46 got me deadddddd LMAO Thank you Anna for outlining this issue. I once met a girl who was very easy going and was always down whenever I asked her out, yet when we were together with no problems I always had an irk that something was wrong. I eventually pushed her away because of other reasons, but this has been really insightful when it comes to looking into myself.
All your videos always come out with a topic that I am always currently working though! Had a physiotherapist recently ask if I had fears of abandonment. And I was like no never! And I'm super independent anyways! But I went home and thought about it. I sercetly am terrified of losing people because all I have done is push people away, and then I am all like "see!!! I knew they were gonna leave! Called it!" And pretend I am okay with it. It's the things you never thought you needed to work on that need the most attention. And oddly since I have realized that part of me, it has calmed down a ton!!
Idk if anyone else experience this, but whenever someone shows genuine care and concern towards me i get this sick feeling in my stomach, almost like im gonna vomit or something☹ and yet at the same time i also appreciate it
Okay, this is %100 me. All of the symptoms and for the past 4 years I've been trying to figure out what is wrong with me. You can't imagine how I feel right now. The important question is, how to fix this? Especially the "being attracted to unavailable men" part. Or dismissing too easily part, I'm sick of friendzoning amazing people but I have no idea how to start having feelings for them if there is no excitement. And all my past relationships ended because I got bored. IT'S A HUGE PROBLEM.
Be a strong willed person. Grow up. Just look at the mirror and make a promise to yourself that you will love who you should love. My advice: Try to go back to your any past partner and try to make things work. Ask your partner what he/she is going through or is everything alright, keep asking them until they open up to you, then empathize for them to soothe their pain. Encourage them for their betterment, appreciate them for their works and love them unconditionally. If they cheat on you or if they leave you after that then they don't deserve you and move on.
I definitely have intimacy issues, but I'm not suffering from self worth, quite the opposite ^^ I am just very fearful of serious commitment, it's like a phobia. When someone likes me, my first instinct is to run. I hate that 😅
1. Here "chemistry" means infatuation. 2. Be a strong willed person from today, you just have to make this decision that you will not be what you used to be before. Ask your partner what he/she is going through or is everything alright, keep asking them until they open up to you, then empathize for them to soothe their pain. Encourage them for their betterment, appreciate them for their works and love them unconditionally.
Chemistry is just attraction and attraction can happen just from two people trying to spend time and have fun with one another. They problem with the excuse of chemistry that ladies use is that it sets a high expectation that if things don’t click upon the first meeting then they never will and that’s not true. It’s just a lazy way of looking for and getting out of the commitment of making a relationship.
So If someone is falling in love with me...is it normal, that I don’t trust her for a split second and think that her feelings are not true and this is all some f*cked up game to mess with my locked up feelings? Huh...
Why do you think you have a lack of self-worth? I watched enough of your videos and here is what I have noticed; you have the confidence to put yourself on youtube for the whole world to see, you are very intelligent, funny, attractive, and you appear to have a good relationship with your parents.
This actually also applies a lot to friendships - I don't feel romantic attraction, but those symptoms describe my feelings about most of my friendships, past and current, uncomfortably accurately. Which i really did not expect but...yea, guess that explains a lot.
I recently ended a 5 years friendship with a lovely, beautiful and smart girl, super cute when she wears her black glasses. It happened so fast and completely unexpected it left me shattered and broken right now. As it turns out my friend has a "Fear of Intimacy", and I only found that out after I read her breakup text to me. I have always suspected she may have a mental health issue like anxiety or bipolar disorder but I never really confront her about these things. I am not entirely sure if she even knows she has these mental health issues. She's always friendly, polite and kind and never raise her voice at me, not once in the 5 years we have known each other. Unlike me. Throughout the years I wanted more than just a friendship, I wanted an intimate relationship. She outright rejected me every time. No kisses, no hugs, no holding hands and told me friendship is all she has to offer. We don't even exchange Christmas presents because it scares her. Recently a third party was trying to divide us apart so he can be with her, he may have succeeded. I highly doubt she wants to be with this guy person, they only recently met through me. He secretly asked her to go to events with him, she may have gone with him. When i confront her about this I yelled at scream at her. I am really ashamed and embarrassed by this and regrets it deeply. I shouldn't have lost my temper. We have known each other for almost 5 years, we went to Vietnam, Japan and Quebec city together for the winter festival. And now we are no longer friends, I am completely heartbroken and fearful that I may never see my lovely and beautiful friend again. What should I do now? Is this over for us? Will there ever be a chance she'll reach out to me in the coming weeks/months? I like to help her and support her and do what I can. I don't want to reach out to her anymore because she's a very timid person, so I don't want to scare or terrify her in any way. Had I known what I know now, I would have been less forceful. I know mental health is a serious issue and it was completely unfair to her, what fool I am. I may have lost the most important person in my life.
The extent to which I've learnt so many things in my life from you is mind boggling. You have not only given me a perspective on a lot of things that have saved my life but also your constant need to better yourself even when the chemicals in our brain don't let us feel the best is what I've learnt from you over the years. You continue to shine and be a better person than what you were yesterday and I have a lot of love and respect for you. I hope that you accomplish many things in 2019 just as you did past few years. And stay awesome.
Well... I guess I'm okay with relationships, but I'm kinda afraid of close friendship. All my childhood friends turned out to be douchebags and I don't really know how to make new friends as an adult.
I’ve made new friends through volunteering at political events and also through partaking in Meetup.com events (like hiking clubs). I know adult friending can be tough!
I have rotten self-worth but rather than being attracted to people who'd be obviously bad for me I go to kind of the opposite extreme of being super attracted to anyone that's particularly nice to me who I find even a little physically attractive. When I first started having romantic feelings at all I'd end up confusing liking someone in a platonic way for them being nice to me with actually being attracted to them. Which is why it took me a long time to figure out I was a lesbian :p
I kept catching myself fantasizing about making out with girls I knew and after a year or so of denial I kind of just had to acknowledge how different I thought about girls and guys in regards to romance.
"Being bored when your partner does everything right. This was exactly me with my current boyfriend. Then I realized "como que me gusta la Vida mala" which is basically saying "its as if I enjoy being unhappy". I was craving being frustrated and disappointed and then dive into some twisted passion. I pushed to just enjoy being content and got over it with patience. Currently in the most chillest relationship I've ever been in. We can get emotional but we never fight.
‘But surprise! I have a lack of intimacy and have problems of self worth. Yes children! Yes! I am the best of both worlds!’ Me: (as one of the children) *high fives her as I literally have the same problem yes
The feeling of seeing this a year after working on self love is incredible. I no longer feel personally attacked by those six signs, but my past self definitely was.
WHY AM I YOU?! I was just saying today I've been building walls for over 26 months since my last relationship. I don't even know how many first dates I've gone on that never went further lol.
Haha, this also is very relatable. A lot of first dates were 'too good to be true'. Turns out I just thought I wasn't worth it. Too bad I'll probably never see one of them again.
omg right?! or if you don't feel an intense spark on the first date, i tell myself that that guy isn't right for me. If he messages me quickly, i think he's clingy..if he messages me after a while, i think he's too distant and doesn't like me. Love is way too complicated and yet so beautifully simple haha
I have always known I have a fear of dating and being intimate with someone. But for the first time ever, I think I may have a chance at love but my lack of self worth is raising red flags but he's a great guy and I do want to give it a go.
After so many years on youtube, I randomly step upon this lady's videos and she is now my favourite youtuber. Thank you for existing, your videos are gold.
I am so grateful for your videos! It was really important to see that I`m not the only one with such a fears when everyone around me seemed to have no such issues at all. When the only advise I get was “relax and it will pass”, but when it didn`t I felt that there is something wrong with me, probably. Of course it takes time to know yourself and to be okay with all of the conditions that might feel completely inexcusable or scary or wrong etc. But the main thing always have been to not feel alone with it, and for me you made a great part of it, as in a lot of your videos I see myself, and it helps me to think through it and to build a pattern how to overcome some problems and questions. Thank you a lot for that!
It’s just...I’ve never been in a relationship before. I’m 20. All my friends date. The main topic for most of our conversations is there significant other and sex life. And I never realized that was such a popular topic. And Im starting to feel like something has to be wrong with me because I haven’t experienced anything! It’s so frustrating!
Oh gods, I relate to that last bit. I can have a hard time saying those three magical words, either to myself or to people I deeply care about. Typing is easier, or showing it with hugs, doing little things to make them feel better, etc.
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
Anna - paying for therapy, so we don't have to 😂
this is depressingly true
our jesus
it's like that one person that always pays netflix
bless
@Gytis Stankevičius The depressing part is that I can't afford those and have to put up with video's on RUclips
“Stop sabotaging your love life” I sabotage my entire life
Same
Ikr
Same, ha
Haha
Hahaha
I love everyone else, though. Have a nice day, bye!
this is me but even when people try and be friends and then in my head im like wHY do U WANT TO haNG oUt WiTH mE??
Jep sounds like me. What a club.
“If I’m not suffering I must not be in love.”
I’m glad we are on the same page.
Midnight Commander 😂
are you sure you're glad ?
700th like!
I need this on a poster.
I died at this
I'm so afraid of dating, I actually panic whenever someone expresses interest in me.
this is me, I don’t really know what’s wronggg
@Clinton Reisig this comment is so funny idk why 😂😭💀 I hope you find the one bro
@Clinton Reisig I love me a fat booty tho
@Clinton Reisig yeah I see why you're single. women wont date you if you objectify them.
thedifferent14 happening to me right now, i feel like he likes me but i’m too scared to actually be in a relationship that i’m scared to tell him
“The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.”
Unless you have an anxious attachment style
I have...both, kinda.
Then I guess my crush might be the one, even though we're not dating.
I did find one like that but I'm pretty sure I screwed up my shot lol
This gives me a whole new perspective
anna is the therapist, life coach, and dating coach i can't afford.
Plus the long distance friend we all need :D
Right? I didn't even know I needed this, but it speaks to my soul
Anna is very weird, soo........ Get a real one .......pleeeeeeease
Agreed!
With a side order of thirst trap.
You are in love with the idea of being in love, not love.
Ong
Omg this hit me....
I've never felt more attacked
Yeah no
oml yes
i always feel uncomfortable when someone compliments me as if i don't deserve it but yeah this is it this is why
Same!
me too
lalauma lmao I don’t know how to respond. Cause I don’t agree with them 😂
“You look pretty.”
“Oh look, a tree.”
I have the same problem.
Well if friends tell me something nice it is not that bad...but it is also different.... but when strangers give a compliment ( it doesnt even matter if it is a girl or a guy) it feels very strange....but especially when guys tell it. Idk ...I always feel like they are lying....
i dont know if its a girl think to get compliments, but i cant remember getting a compliment by anyone im not related to.
(I did have a relationship once, but that was when i was 14 and she was my childhood friend.
1:26
Anna: “this stems from...”
Me: Childhood Trauma!
Anna: “Lack of self-worth!”
🙃
Baekhyun’s Chopsticks I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING
@@n.fer.2596 Me too
Definitely both!
Ye had the exact same thang xD
Jfc trueeee
"feeling bored when the other person does everything right" I feel very attacked
Dang that hit me
Ahem. Same here 👀
But where is this cominh from?
Same 😂
You made me self aware of how i can sometimes be weirded out by love so thank you
of course, Anna is talking about her own case and problems, while yours might be totally different. Might be a good thing to look into :)
But thanks Anna for making me feel less weird again. I can tick a few boxes there, and also as a serial monogamist I never considered myself to be afraid of real human connection, but I learned last year that I do. I'm doing better now, and you will too!
same
Your reply was honest and courageous. Thank you for sharing it with everyone.
@@pixie_laluna I think it's the same for me. I'm not necessarily AFRAID of intimacy, but I don't want it right now. I want to advance my life and become someone with financial independence, an advancing career, more maturity, etc. I'm also pretty young (17) and so I'm living underneath my parents roof still. I'm not so afraid as I am just knowing it's not the right time
Jonathan Paspula I just only wish I had as much insight as you do at your age. I use too but as I got older I ignored life as a whole. Just never loose focus of your goal. I’m 25 and just now figuring this all out!
The kinda girl that likes a guy until she finds out that he likes her too.
😂😂😂😂 AHAHAHA I LOVE THIS....I HOPE MY CRUSH DOESN'T SEE THIS CAUSE IF HE DOES "HIS" SELF WORTH IS GOING DOWN LOL
Mylife.
Me... I'm here 🙃
🤔 I think your a lithromantic
Can’t relate. No one likes me
HER STORY DOES NOT ONLY APPLY TO WOMEN. HER STORIES HELP US GUYS TOO!
I think people don't understand that many men can hide this feeling. I know I can, everyone thinks I'm normal and just haven't "found" the right one. They have no idea I have terrible anxiety at the prospect of begining a relationship. Boys have some terrible childhoods too.
You damn right. I was dating a guy that I now realise was afraid of intimacy.
He absolutely broke my heart, I kept asking him what I did wrong and he only said he didn't know.
Beware the people that afraid of intimacy, they will break your heart
@@starcherry6814 unless you find one who wants to work through it. But if you insult him for it or otherwise react like the one who hurt him early in life (usually Mama) he will flee like an abused cat at an open door.
Thats why you date for years then youre engaged for years. Not only to confirm loyalty but for these intamacy things. Old fashioned works.
Gregory Peterson this right here i feel you man i only got like 2/3 girlfriends from online dating i AM terified of girls i font know why
The smartest choice to ever make when it comes to relationships, have a friendship FIRST!
@Lady snake84 that is how you get put in the friend zone.
Not necessarily, the friendzone is fake in the sense that the rules state that if you where not friends or if you tried earlier they’d be into you when that just isn’t the case. If they would like you in that way they already would.
Both people need to be interested to have a relationship my dude
Doesn't work for everyone. Personally if I don't sleep with a girl soon enough, I slowly start to see her more and more as a sister and eventually lose my sexual desire for her.
I like someone and once they like me back i dont like them anymore
Wtf is wrong with u
Sameeee damn whts wrong with me 😥
Me tooooo
Why is this me
Clash Smchitcle and that’s why you will end up with 10 cats sweetie. Go see a therapist
I gradually gasped louder with each of the 6 points, I'm shook
SAME. The level to which I felt personally attacked was too damn high.
Right!
I'm afraid of intimacy because I'm 23 and have never had a relationship, and I feel like I'm the only clueless one when everybody else at least kinda knows what they're doing.
I feel you
right there with you! also clueless and 23
We should make a club
@@Palangkikay We should probably make our own dating site.
@Bekah L. so true! I've been dating since I was 16 (I'm 25 now) and I honestly still have no idea what I'm doing!! Time to focus on family, friends and hobbies! :DDD
My sister's first good boyfriend was a classmate named Elliot and he was *perfect.* My parents saw it. Her friends saw it. I saw it (and as a younger brother, I should have been to sabotage him).
When she broke up with him, he didn't get mad or clingy. He said "I hope you fall in love with someone who sees you for the incredible woman you are."
I base my relationship decisions on this question: "What would Elliot think if I did this?"
DarkLight523 that dude will go far in life. You too.
Not sure about your sister tho.
That dude is perfect. I still remember my ex being kinda clingy in a way? He was like 'Plz tell me why I don't deserve u and vice versa??'
I clearly told him I didn't want anything to do with him after.
Is Elliot single ?👀
Elliot sounds like dat boi where is he at I want to befriend him
That's really sweet
this person text me goodmornings and say nice things to me, admitted that he was flirting with me, and i was like 'hold on, okay, but this is too much...'
i think im afraid of intimacy too
For all the girls in her situation:
You are all healthy women, you are attracted to men that dont care about you because that is a sign of high status in males (Since means abundance in female options to mate), evolution puts "the challange" that if you can change his attitude you will be rewarded with an upgrade in your social status and multiply your chances of survival, both of you and your offspring.
Men know this and play along because we are designed to have as much sex with different women as we can (Again, this is a sign of a healthy male)
That is why you dont feel attracted to a male that makes "everything right", since that is a sign that you (female) are not upgrading your social status.
In more simple words, "bad guys" are the real price in evolution, you like them because you have everything right in your instinct, unfortunatelly for you, nature and evolution couldnt care less about your happiness or your long term mental health, and that is why antidepressants are becoming a trend in women, if a man treats you well you cant be aroused, you could settle down with him, but always feeling like he is inferior to you, or you could remain single and eventually your fertility will go away and with it your chances of getting a high status male.
In the past, your grandma knew this and it was her duty to force you to not make this "mistake" (Is not really a mistake since is nature), and the way they did it is by arranging marriages and not letting women "sleep around". In our times, thanks to the sexual revolution we are all free and left alone with nature/instincts.
This trait of human nature has been explained in all cultures, even in modern times in popular shows such as Seinfeld
ruclips.net/video/0UXR8444n8c/видео.html
Haha
Omg same! I get shock and confuse when i get "goodmorning" texts so I back away and dont reply
I literally just friend-zoned a guy who liked me and I liked him because he was being sweet all the time and I thought it was too much and weird.😂
@@ClassicAlberto interesting.... and do you know this applies to asexuality? Or the LGBTQ community in general? Perhaps even same sex couples? 😯🤔
Pain, abandonment, longing, tension and anxiety. Got that. Thanks.
i'm well aware i'm afraid of intimacy and i'm damn good at rationalizing my self sabotage
New best friend lol
“i’m damn good at rationalizing my self sabotage” the truest damn thing i’ve ever heard in my entire life
can we bond over our intimacy issues? but like in a non intimate way of course.
@@ForeverFashionGirl21 yes definitely
In the past couple of months, I realized that I have never told a guy “ I like you”. I’ve liked guys, but I’ve actually never said the words. Don’t know if that’s a fear of intimacy or rejection. In the future, I hope to actually tell a guy that as long as I really mean it
same. i always thought it was fear of rejection, but didn't know i also had fear of being intimate with someone else. good to know, i guess...
Same
Good luck!
Same thing, but with me it's definitely fear of rejection. No idea where it came from, but it's kinda there.
Ethereal Dinamo Thank you!
Building a friendship is something I'm open to do versus immediate relationship
Yeah, I think it really is the wisest thing to do. That's why so many relationships are failing imo-peoe don't get to really know each other first on a friendship level. Because when they jump straight into romance, the lines become blurred with all the hormones that get involved. Hence, why so many married couples obviously start out in love, love each other...but further down the line, can't stand one another, because they don't actually LIKE one another 100%.
100% open to building a friendship vs a relationship as well
same
Same that’s how all my relationships were
I felt those arrows on a different level
kyia belle you and me both
Me too💘
this is where I struggle - I used to think there needed to be a spark on the first date, then I tried "well, maybe it takes time to build chemistry" and subsequently went on 2-3 really tedious dates following the first one. And now I have no idea. My current baseline is I need to look forward to a date with someone *at least* as much as I'd look forward to hanging out with a platonic friend.
Thats the magic mixture !!! : )
So I hear.
Clinton Reisig go back to 4chan
@Clinton Reisig sexist much?
That is actually really good advice... thank you!
@@bolas5838 wait who?
Wow. One of the most 'look yourself in the mirror and rethink everything you thought you knew' channels on RUclips. Thank you for sharing your own struggles, so we can identify and work through our own.
N
What other similar channels do you know?
@@elizamaria3008 The School of Life, I really recommend it!!
@@missdaytonax Thanks :)
Right?! Also I love ur channel, La Guardia 🤗❤️
Is it too sad that I think that the only person who truly understands me is a youtuber I don't even know?
nah the feelings and struggles you have are just relatable to a wide audience, Anna is the is the one speaking about it but you could go on the street, talk to anyone and they'd feel the same way.
maybe talk more about your feelings with your friends and family, I'm sure you're just staying quiet
Dude. Same.
Right
I really hope this encourages you to open up to the people inn your life who you feel might be most thoughtful.
Honestly yes because there’s someone out there experiencing something similar
But it does not take away from what you are experiencing only you can understand that it isn’t something a person cannot get past
I already know I’m afraid of intimacy🙃 DONT TOUCH ME I HAVE DAD ISSUES
Amaya The Otaku I feel the exact same
I don’t have a dad so does that mean I have dad issues too?
I've literally loudly announced my dad issues at parties so no one gets the wrong idea
Big mood.
ME TOOOO
what if you have been working on self worth and compassion so much so that you came to love yourself and find your worth, you feel comfortable alone and ready to date, but as soon as you go and meet someone and they show interest you get turned off? I know I deserve to be loved, but I still am uncomfortable with intimacy. HELP. I had a massive crush on this guy and he was unavailable. Now he showed interest and I'm like "boy, bye."
Wow..You have no idea how much I just related to this😂😂
This was mentioned in other comments, but look up lithromantic. There's also frayromantic, but that doesn't sound like your case.
I guess the fact that you’re seeing someone and you’re getting turn off after they showed their affection, you’re just thinking a lot of things or paranoid about it , it’s takes time to get there . Just try and date that person with no rush , I’ve been there it’s takes to get comfortable.
@The Absolute Madman wrong
When flirting goes too far🙄
Beware dating someone who is afraid of intimacy.
They will break your heart!
Indirectly you asked people to beware of Me!!
:(
Oops 👉👈
Well that hurt.. i like them so much. I don’t want to be afraid of getting closer to them.. I’m working on it ok ;-;
I’m afraid of intimacy because if I get into a serious relationship I’ll get married and then realize 30 years later that I’m bored or they’ve changed or they’re not who I thought they were and I’ll have an empty relationship based only on routine and obligation and I wasted my life being unhappy because I’m committed to this person I don’t really want to be with anymore but I’m scared to leave them because I’d lose the stability and comfort that my marriage gives me... no that’s not because my parents (and basically every other adult couple I knew growing up) never showed love to each other and eventually got divorced what are u talking about
Same
Soo why do you think you have to marry someone? Ever thought about just going with the flow? Marriage is a very old concept. In my opinion it seems very unpractical in our modern society. Just don't do it, if you don't want to
LerobotZ While I agree that no one should get married if it's not their thing, marriage, secularly speaking, is a legal contract that grants you certain rights that would otherwise require their own separate legal contracts. Then there are the insurance and tax benefits.
first last I literally just wrote a novel about how I was terrified of getting caught in a failing marriage and you still say that women just get married so they can get cool stuff in a divorce? Maybe some women do but wow, thats next level insensitive
+Julia Homola Whoa...i'm a guy and i agree with all you said...girls do have this fear as well, interesting.
i feel attacked, didn’t realize some of those were signs of intimacy issues
Good thing you're not the only one recognizing some things and feeling attacked (vulnerability?) ;)
Same
me and you both brother 🤠
“feeling bored when the other person does everything right” wow why are you being so loud 😭
I have every single symptom you said! And have realised I have commitment issues. And I have never been in a relationship. Plus I am very independent and dont want to be with people all the time. Especially the same person again and again..
Improve yourself
This is me too
This is me
Oh wow... I truly learned this for the first time. I've never had a relationship longer than 2.5 months before and I'm 30. I just always said I've been picky... I also recently met someone Amazing and was wondering why the beginning isn't intense but feels like a slow burn.... Wish me luck folks. Thanks Anna!
I hope this will work out for you, rooting for you!
Same age. The only thing I haven’t done with a girl is having an actual relationship. I did date a few times. And I had sex a few times. (Those two sentences are not related.) That’s about it.
I mean if you think about it. Beening intense with someone you just met at first is a huge stretch and just puts a lot of stress In my point of view ya know. It should just be chill and getting to know the person first. If you instantly like someone at first glance I'll just assume its lust and that feeling never stays the same.
@Obakeng Ngoepe Great question. I had a LOT more work to do than to just watch her videos, including going to therapy, addressing my deepest fears and desires, speaking to lots of people, etc.... and then 1.5 years later after going through all that stuff (still going through more now) - I found the LOVE OF MY LIFE. I LITERALLY DID. I had been online dating for 12 years, and I finally found someone incredible, same thing, online, when I was finally ready - someone that was at my level of maturity, ability to connect, ability to communicate and work through our problems, etc. The relationship is still work only because we're continuously working on keeping a safe space to share and understand each other better. Anyway, I thought I was cursed... but no, I just had to do the work. Good luck out there! And do the work if possible, if you have the resources, etc.
Anna's my life coach😂❤
Mine too
Please run away are you going to be collecting cat
She really is 😂 and I love it ❤️
@@bobno66 i like cats anyway
Yes ❤️
i loo... i loov...i-i- lo-loov... ilovemyselfaswell
Karma_ 2410_ underrated comment
Its honestly stunning how hard it is to do this lol, for me at least (And a lot of other people it seems like judging from the comments)
It's a shame that there's that me-too movement (just think there could have been a better name real lazy really everyone say me too when they have something in common 😒) think I loo... I loo...i-i-lo-loov... Me-too would have been funnier because if the whole "I love you...... Yeah me too" awkward reply that happens on films, shows and I guess real life
Wow Anna dragging me through filth early in the morning
Fahtimma 😂😂😂 ❤️ This!
I stop talking to people as soon as I understand/they tell me they have feelings for me just because I get scared and I fear those emotions...
"As much as we think we don't deserve love, we do" oh Gosh.... So freaking deep. Thanks, you have a new follower.
Intimacy = into me I see
Love Guru reference, I caught that. ;)
w o a h 👁👄👁
genius
#mindblown
@@lefaek3720 lol
I wish I didn't relate to this so much 😂😂
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS
COLLAB DO IT N0W
'IF I'M NOT SUFFERING, I'M CLEARLY NOT IN LOVE'.
That was an eyeopener! I feel like past experiences, movies, books & music all lead to this idea that your relationship has to be challenging enough to be worthy of the title of love.
I was definitely caught off guard with those 6 symptoms. Never have I realized that I'm scared of intimacy just as much as i thought i crave for it. Maybe apart from lack of self worth, i guess one of the reasons why we subconsciously sabotage our love life is because, growing up, we never saw our parents showing intimacy/love with each other - either they end up being divorced or even if they're together but just living passively.
Bro... Especially the parent thing
The parent thing is what I’ve been thinking for myself. I crave intimacy, but I know if someone touches me, and I mean here like hugs, it’s incredibly uncomfortable. It’s so strange because I crave them too, but when it happens it’s unbearable. Like my skin gets sensitive to touch, as if the slightest contact is incredibly ticklish.
I’ve been thinking lately that I’ve never seen my parents show intimacy, not so much as a complement even, throughout my childhood until now in my mid-twenties. I’ve been wondering if this has any bearing on my experiences.
I felt so attacked I cried
m444ria you must do all of these things 😂
Me too.
who needs a therapist when you have anna
Moonlight Mochi Anna sees therapists, we watch her videos, THEREFORE....
Her therapists are our therapists 🤝
Me. I need them.
Oh I definitely need a therapist. That’s why I have both!
ANNA'S BACK ON TRACK, BABY!!! This, is more like it. I dig this about her. She's so spot-on describing the "develop yourself before you can accept someone worthy" thing! I've been working on it, getting good at it and now she couldn't have made it more clear! Thanks a mil, Anna. Total gem, this episode.
The capacity for closeness is the key to the success of any relationship, because it determines how much a person is able to love!
Intimacy requires quite a bit of trust. We must have trust in someone in order to reveal the most personal and most confidential parts of ourselves to them, and we must know if we are able to accept the same most personal and most hurtful parts of the other, without them pressing and suffocating us.
I always come back to Anna’s videos when I’m in my feelings and super confused about what to do... I always feel better bc I remember that I can rewrite the narrative for my love life with intentionality... I don’t have to stay being the person who’s afraid of intimacy
I am afraid of intimacy in my dating life, but it shows differently. I don't even make it to the first date xD It's mostly like: "Oh my, this super sweet and handsome guy with beautiful eyes just smiled at me. Wow. He is my type! Well, I guess that's my moment to anxiously leave the store and hope that I never see him again. Bye!" - I know it's wrong. What I do about it? No idea where to start :'D Send money or help.
Haha, even though I'm male it's very relatable. I used to think the exact same thing. I'd say it's because you think either 'I don't deserve him' or 'He doesn't deserve me'. At least that was the case with me. My advice is: be assertive and talk to him anyway! In the worst case it's really awkward and you never see him again, in the better case you have a really fun conversation :D
OH MY GOODNESS i feel attacked by THAT comment more than anything anna said because i've never even been in a relationship hahaaaaaaa i feel your pain
Send money FOR help.
Stop being relatable this instant. *I feel attacked*
Blubbl Blab I have snickers bars...?
Ok so found out I have intimacy issues...
When Anna becomes your RUclips therapist
The YT algorithm is worried about me 😂
0:46 got me deadddddd LMAO Thank you Anna for outlining this issue. I once met a girl who was very easy going and was always down whenever I asked her out, yet when we were together with no problems I always had an irk that something was wrong. I eventually pushed her away because of other reasons, but this has been really insightful when it comes to looking into myself.
It’s terrifying to look and see what you’ve become on retrospection.
I’ve done this so many times.😭
Magic mushrooms are supposed to help
All your videos always come out with a topic that I am always currently working though!
Had a physiotherapist recently ask if I had fears of abandonment. And I was like no never! And I'm super independent anyways!
But I went home and thought about it. I sercetly am terrified of losing people because all I have done is push people away, and then I am all like "see!!! I knew they were gonna leave! Called it!" And pretend I am okay with it.
It's the things you never thought you needed to work on that need the most attention. And oddly since I have realized that part of me, it has calmed down a ton!!
I crave attention but I can’t have anyone touch me😭
Sounds like a typical woman
Corky Duke you’re annoying
Same but I love touching other people not in a weird way though.
plumear You spelled amusing wrong
nope. I spelled annoying correctly
"If I'm not suffering, I'm clearly not in love." OMG true statement. I love it!!!!
Idk if anyone else experience this, but whenever someone shows genuine care and concern towards me i get this sick feeling in my stomach, almost like im gonna vomit or something☹ and yet at the same time i also appreciate it
Okay, this is %100 me. All of the symptoms and for the past 4 years I've been trying to figure out what is wrong with me. You can't imagine how I feel right now. The important question is, how to fix this? Especially the "being attracted to unavailable men" part. Or dismissing too easily part, I'm sick of friendzoning amazing people but I have no idea how to start having feelings for them if there is no excitement.
And all my past relationships ended because I got bored. IT'S A HUGE PROBLEM.
Be a strong willed person. Grow up.
Just look at the mirror and make a promise to yourself that you will love who you should love.
My advice: Try to go back to your any past partner and try to make things work. Ask your partner what he/she is going through or is everything alright, keep asking them until they open up to you, then empathize for them to soothe their pain. Encourage them for their betterment, appreciate them for their works and love them unconditionally. If they cheat on you or if they leave you after that then they don't deserve you and move on.
that's called not knowing wtf you want like 3/4 of other girls
sounds like u needa meet the WOO
Your videos are such a help. I watch them daily so I remember to take care of myself. 💖💕
It's embarrassing to say I relate to every sign that you're afraid of intimacy. :T
I definitely have intimacy issues, but I'm not suffering from self worth, quite the opposite ^^
I am just very fearful of serious commitment, it's like a phobia. When someone likes me, my first instinct is to run.
I hate that 😅
Pain abandonment and anxiety remind you of love? That just reminds me of my entire life.
This reminds me of how I replied to one guy's "I miss you" viber message 😂 I put him on seen for a few hours and replied "I miss me too" 😅
Okay, I have two questions:
1) How do you define 'chemistry'?
2) So now that we identified the problem, any tips on how to fixing it?
1. Here "chemistry" means infatuation.
2. Be a strong willed person from today, you just have to make this decision that you will not be what you used to be before.
Ask your partner what he/she is going through or is everything alright, keep asking them until they open up to you, then empathize for them to soothe their pain. Encourage them for their betterment, appreciate them for their works and love them unconditionally.
Chemistry is just attraction and attraction can happen just from two people trying to spend time and have fun with one another. They problem with the excuse of chemistry that ladies use is that it sets a high expectation that if things don’t click upon the first meeting then they never will and that’s not true. It’s just a lazy way of looking for and getting out of the commitment of making a relationship.
So
If someone is falling in love with me...is it normal, that I don’t trust her for a split second and think that her feelings are not true and this is all some f*cked up game to mess with my locked up feelings? Huh...
Why do you think you have a lack of self-worth? I watched enough of your videos and here is what I have noticed; you have the confidence to put yourself on youtube for the whole world to see, you are very intelligent, funny, attractive, and you appear to have a good relationship with your parents.
Im so scared of intimacy that one time when my crush compliments me I just walk away or say “nope that’s not happening, by”
Wow, so many vids in one week! Nice, thanks😊😊😊
"I love you okay bye" is so Rosa from Brooklyn 99
This actually also applies a lot to friendships - I don't feel romantic attraction, but those symptoms describe my feelings about most of my friendships, past and current, uncomfortably accurately. Which i really did not expect but...yea, guess that explains a lot.
I recently ended a 5 years friendship with a lovely, beautiful and smart girl, super cute when she wears her black glasses. It happened so fast and completely unexpected it left me shattered and broken right now. As it turns out my friend has a "Fear of Intimacy", and I only found that out after I read her breakup text to me. I have always suspected she may have a mental health issue like anxiety or bipolar disorder but I never really confront her about these things. I am not entirely sure if she even knows she has these mental health issues. She's always friendly, polite and kind and never raise her voice at me, not once in the 5 years we have known each other. Unlike me. Throughout the years I wanted more than just a friendship, I wanted an intimate relationship. She outright rejected me every time. No kisses, no hugs, no holding hands and told me friendship is all she has to offer. We don't even exchange Christmas presents because it scares her. Recently a third party was trying to divide us apart so he can be with her, he may have succeeded. I highly doubt she wants to be with this guy person, they only recently met through me. He secretly asked her to go to events with him, she may have gone with him. When i confront her about this I yelled at scream at her. I am really ashamed and embarrassed by this and regrets it deeply. I shouldn't have lost my temper. We have known each other for almost 5 years, we went to Vietnam, Japan and Quebec city together for the winter festival. And now we are no longer friends, I am completely heartbroken and fearful that I may never see my lovely and beautiful friend again. What should I do now? Is this over for us? Will there ever be a chance she'll reach out to me in the coming weeks/months? I like to help her and support her and do what I can. I don't want to reach out to her anymore because she's a very timid person, so I don't want to scare or terrify her in any way. Had I known what I know now, I would have been less forceful. I know mental health is a serious issue and it was completely unfair to her, what fool I am. I may have lost the most important person in my life.
The extent to which I've learnt so many things in my life from you is mind boggling.
You have not only given me a perspective on a lot of things that have saved my life but also your constant need to better yourself even when the chemicals in our brain don't let us feel the best is what I've learnt from you over the years. You continue to shine and be a better person than what you were yesterday and I have a lot of love and respect for you.
I hope that you accomplish many things in 2019 just as you did past few years. And stay awesome.
Well... I guess I'm okay with relationships, but I'm kinda afraid of close friendship. All my childhood friends turned out to be douchebags and I don't really know how to make new friends as an adult.
ArborParva tru and I don't know either
I’ve made new friends through volunteering at political events and also through partaking in Meetup.com events (like hiking clubs). I know adult friending can be tough!
A good friendship will feel good and you’ll just know it
I have rotten self-worth but rather than being attracted to people who'd be obviously bad for me I go to kind of the opposite extreme of being super attracted to anyone that's particularly nice to me who I find even a little physically attractive. When I first started having romantic feelings at all I'd end up confusing liking someone in a platonic way for them being nice to me with actually being attracted to them. Which is why it took me a long time to figure out I was a lesbian :p
What helped you figuring out?
Uh oh same
I kept catching myself fantasizing about making out with girls I knew and after a year or so of denial I kind of just had to acknowledge how different I thought about girls and guys in regards to romance.
I love anna’s videos she always inspires me to upload better content on my youtube channel
"Being bored when your partner does everything right. This was exactly me with my current boyfriend. Then I realized "como que me gusta la Vida mala" which is basically saying "its as if I enjoy being unhappy". I was craving being frustrated and disappointed and then dive into some twisted passion. I pushed to just enjoy being content and got over it with patience. Currently in the most chillest relationship I've ever been in. We can get emotional but we never fight.
It's crazy how much I learn from you
‘But surprise! I have a lack of intimacy and have problems of self worth.
Yes children! Yes! I am the best of both worlds!’
Me: (as one of the children) *high fives her as I literally have the same problem yes
i think this is one of the most psychologically accurate youtube short
i just realized i destroyed every relationship i could've had :/
Thank you Ana for always reminding me that I'm not the only one feeling that way. A lot of pressure and feeling of isolation disappears.
The feeling of seeing this a year after working on self love is incredible. I no longer feel personally attacked by those six signs, but my past self definitely was.
Could you please go through each of those signs in different videos? This is just something I struggle with.
0:47 THIS LITERALLY SOUNDS LIKE ROSA FROM BROOKLYN 99
HZLLVUSI SHE DOES WTF
AHMAHGAHD YAS
WHY AM I YOU?! I was just saying today I've been building walls for over 26 months since my last relationship. I don't even know how many first dates I've gone on that never went further lol.
Haha, this also is very relatable. A lot of first dates were 'too good to be true'. Turns out I just thought I wasn't worth it. Too bad I'll probably never see one of them again.
omg right?! or if you don't feel an intense spark on the first date, i tell myself that that guy isn't right for me. If he messages me quickly, i think he's clingy..if he messages me after a while, i think he's too distant and doesn't like me. Love is way too complicated and yet so beautifully simple haha
Christine Prasad Very, very relatable 😅
@@christineprasad1547 well that's one toxic way of seeing it. No wonder why you're having trouble with this
@@xermy1648 ahaha fix me pls
Cracked up about the mirror trials at self worth.....the agonizing work of my lifetime
I have always known I have a fear of dating and being intimate with someone. But for the first time ever, I think I may have a chance at love but my lack of self worth is raising red flags but he's a great guy and I do want to give it a go.
"If I'm not suffering I'm clearly not in love."
"If I'm not suffering, I'm clearly not in love" You didn't have to hurt me like this
damn, this is hitting me directly in the feels. Like my "deep feels"
After so many years on youtube, I randomly step upon this lady's videos and she is now my favourite youtuber. Thank you for existing, your videos are gold.
I am so grateful for your videos! It was really important to see that I`m not the only one with such a fears when everyone around me seemed to have no such issues at all. When the only advise I get was “relax and it will pass”, but when it didn`t I felt that there is something wrong with me, probably. Of course it takes time to know yourself and to be okay with all of the conditions that might feel completely inexcusable or scary or wrong etc. But the main thing always have been to not feel alone with it, and for me you made a great part of it, as in a lot of your videos I see myself, and it helps me to think through it and to build a pattern how to overcome some problems and questions. Thank you a lot for that!
Stuttering while trying to say love in the mirror is literally my morning routine
It’s just...I’ve never been in a relationship before. I’m 20. All my friends date. The main topic for most of our conversations is there significant other and sex life. And I never realized that was such a popular topic. And Im starting to feel like something has to be wrong with me because I haven’t experienced anything! It’s so frustrating!
Ooh damn girl who is you!
Why am I discovering this channel now!!
*_Am I falling in love?_*
Watching your channel is like seeing you mature while you provide commentary on it. Pretty neat.
Oh gods, I relate to that last bit. I can have a hard time saying those three magical words, either to myself or to people I deeply care about. Typing is easier, or showing it with hugs, doing little things to make them feel better, etc.