GAGAGAGAGAGA! I will now count to 3 and then I am still the unprettiest RUclipsr of all time. 1...2...3. GAGAGAGAGAGA!!! Thank you for your attention, dear james
That sounds good in saying, but very unrealistic in todays age of online dating, where women have plenty options and average men have to play a numbers game to actually find somebody, therefore everybody can only see options.
@@MMOplayeerr If you “play a numbers game” with online dating, then you’ll likely only match with people who will take what they can get. Not somebody who picks you out of a crowd. People “playing a numbers game” can be sensed and anyone seeking genuine connection is just gonna nope out. Finding genuine connection can take time, but it’s more fulfilling.
@@thriftyfreebies The 'number game' is different for men and women. The way our society is , a woman picks a man because her numbers are basically options. A man gets picked up by woman so his numbers are compulsions. If men do not approach it like that he risks staying single all his life. A man does not have that luxury , unless he is conventionally good looking or wealthy or have lot of communication skills , to pick and choose that much. Its mind bending when you look at from a man's perspective. Btw any girl who says oh she looks for inside bla bla she is lying..just simple lie or just does not know herself. She WILL look for that inner beauty , yes , AFTER she has dated bunch of idiots and her time is running out for having kids.
@@Valkyri3Z "any girl who says oh she looks for inside bla bla she is lying" mate my girl fell in love with me when i looked like a homeless person. you're being shallow. but obviously looks play a part. but many women look for the inner beauty even when young, just like many men do. immaturity comes to play (...like you generalizing entire demogaphics...) and lack of experience makes dating and more so a potential relationship hard, but that's part of the play. you usually need more than one relationship to understand what you really want out of one. that's totally fine. but many men nowadays seem to idealize far too quickly because someone vibes well, and that's something that women do pick up on. just like men do.
I'm happy enjoying others and not feeling as if I'm not being disrespected by them. This isn't the same thing, but I've been single for three years (like Anna) and haven't found anything like feeling loved. Core beliefs and core strengths are important.
@M A T There is a huge difference in people who appreciate your core gifts and you, but also tell you to the truth and allow you to grow, vs someone who actively puts you down constantly out of jealousy of your core gift.
Basically put, your partner should always lift you up to be the best person you can be. Even if they are jealous, they need to put their jealousy aside and help you foster what you're good at doing. After all, growing as a person requires discomfort, and jealousy is just a form of discomfort about a perceived inadequacy. Support your loved ones, peeps, and accept they *will* be better than you in some areas. It's the adult thing to do.
Wow, good to see a comment out in the world about how to healthily accept and address jealousy. It is often shunned, demonized and simply not talked about, but it is only an emotion - it can't do any harm without harmful actions to follow it. Jealousy can be a great sign to focus on what to improve about yourself (perceived inadequacy as you said), as emotions reveal to us things about ourselves we may not have previously known or acknowledged. Fantastic comment!
how are some people not jealous tho even if someone is better in x area than them? is it cause they admire it and think its cool instead and they dont care that their not as great in the area
Very well, if jealousy is discomfort and that's what growing as a person is: if you're gonna expect your partner to put up with it, you should put it with it yourself. Because it's growth, and that's what you should do for your partner
I absolutely love the turn towards introspection over the past few years for Anna. Her combition of wit and sincerity really make the viewing experience feel personal and relatable
Also, the folks at Psych2go mentioned that we tend to be attracted to what's familiar, rather than what's best for us. So if you grew up in an abusive household, you are familiar with that toxic environment and might subconsciously seek to recreate that familiar environment in a new connection. Hence, why it's important to know yourself before looking for a serious romantic connection.
This 100%. It’s so sad that understanding ourselves is so fundamental to not repeating the broken cycle, but even more tragic, is that it is impossible to see that cycle until we are able to get outside it, and actually see it from outside looking in.
Dunno though based on my experience they just gave me the example of red flags that I will avoid in the future. I really hate closed-minded and angry people the most. 🙂
You're correct. For most people, looking within is too scary. It's not just a 5 minute horror show either. It's a marathon of some of the most painful memories you get to re-live until you learn to let go. This is why people are more comfortable in their pain with something familiar than to face their past trauma's and grow out of their shell.
@@niccolom Well, not only. Reading books doesn't make everyone smarter or more articulate, and it is not that easy to present information from a book you read in such a clear and playful manner. It shows she's quite smart, introspective and hard-working.
"What gifts do you bring to the relationship" also translates to "What do you bring to the table in the relationship." Because if only one person is bringing gifts its not going to be a good relationship.
Everyone has gifts and is bringing them to the table. The question here is, are those gifts compatible, are they valued by your partner or do they need something different?
This is really deep. Prince Harry and Meghan see themselves as equals. On the other hand, Prince Charles expects to be the center of attention, but it all went to Diana.
The conundrum is it's rare that any person is an "either/or" fully inspirational or deprivational, but rather BOTH will have a mix of inspirational traits along with deprivational traits- because we are HUMAN with imperfections. So one must figure out what the "mix" is with not just the person you're interested in but yourself as well to figure out if the "combined mix" is mutually compatible.
Know yourself before you know others. Know your wants and desires before you learn those of someone else. Understand if you are following your natural path (Tao) or trying to force a path/relationship to meet your own goal.
The fact that someone as beautiful, talented and intelligent as you has been single for 3 years makes me feel a lot less troubled by my almost four years of being single. This is the longest stretch I can remember and it is by choice for the most part - so much effort needs to be made to share something that should be so easy and I am just not going to settle for anything less than what I want. She's out there somewhere and if the universe will it we will find each other. Good luck with your chosen direction and thank you for sharing!
Been single all my life. Not that hard lol. Yk the more I read into this relationship and stuff, the more I feel like being single isn't that bad. Or maybe it's my coping mechanism lmao
She is holding out for the top 0.1% tall, rich, 6pack abs, but the top 0.1% got options. So she gets pumped and dumped and keeps accumulating mental damage while staying perpetually single. Time and time again it keeps happening.
I really admire that she didn't place the blame of the ending of previous relationships entirely on the other person. Takes real guts and courage to admit one may have been to blame.
I hate to parrot the tired line, but if you don't value your own gifts, you'll make it difficult for yourself to present them to your partner. This can lead to a very lopsided relationship with one person validating what makes the other special, and the other being mystified about what they're supposed to be valuing
I think my core gifts are sensitivity and kindness towards my friends. My ex told me to not be so sensitive and attached to my friends. I want someone who appreciates these parts of me.
This was such a good explanation of why I sometimes felt attracted to someone but also had a sinking feeling whenever they walked into the room. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why I was attracted to someone like that, but now I know. Thanks Anna!
This is so true, Learning your own core gifts and seeking people who appreciate them. Literally have been told I'm too much by some people then others are completely fine with it *shrugs*
It took me a good long while to recognize the difference between that initial chemistry based on genuine affection & admiration, vs. something that feels oddly similar to chemistry but is actually just comfortable because it resembles the trauma in your life….
I've been dumped 1 month ago. This explained to me why my relationship was toxic for me. It was weird because it was like sofly toxic. I tried so hard to match her expectations.
I bet you will meet someone wonderful that will make you feel comfortable, loved and at peace! Just keep working and focusing on yourself. The right girl with come along in meanwhile !
I learned this so early on with friends, I had a friend in my life who made me feel terrible for being myself, for being everything that I was that she was insecure about… if she felt like I was better than her in any way, she found a way to make me pay for it. She’d put me down in front of others, make snide comments if I ever had confidence, talked behind my back, and seriously took advantage of me. The only good thing that came from that relationship is that it taught me so much, and I’ve never had to experience a romantic relationship with those issues. I found friends who love me and let me be myself (and vice versa,) and bring out the absolute best in me, and I’ve never gone back. I hope everyone can learn this lesson early in life or never have to deal with it in the first place. If you ever feel like you’re too much, or not enough, or both at the same time, you’re not in the right crowd.
Genius. Thank you. I just experienced this and ended it literally moments ago and saw this. I kept wondering why I was so attached when I wasn't getting a fraction of what I was giving. Duly noted. Some people will just take and not understand that it goes both ways.
Wow this is so on point! When I was younger I was not my true self I was a devalued. Now I am most definitely am inspirer. It's amazing because for the last like 10 years I've been telling people that I will not be in a relationship out of commitment but only out of inspiration and if somebody wants to be with me they have to inspire me and I will be committed out of inspiration And it's funny because 90% of women actually treat me worse and since I'm attractive six-foot-six I'm a very powerful man a lot of them don't like my core power and try to destroy it out of insecurity. like you said. So I've been single for a couple years and celibate for a year working on my peace power and prosperity!!!
attraction of deprivation is also called "playing the game", as if messing with another human life should be only worth some thrill to another person. it should not, yet it's something that wealthy people have been doing for centuries on a whole other level.
I really appreciate how at the end she says her past relationships likely didn't work because her core gifts were not appreciated OR SHE didn't value the core gifts of her partners. Talk about integrity and owning up to what you've done instead of only blaming others ❤️ Thank you, I needed this.
Love this... After 3 years being single, I've changed from one kind of love to another. The deprivation love drove me crazy. I was depressed and anxious and I had to seek for therapy. The love I have right now is the opposite. It encourages me, it makes me feel I deserve the best because I worth. This is real love, not the anxiety of deprivation
I didn't value the core gifts in my friend on whom I had a crush on. I didn't realise it was a crush and all I felt was this anger and jealousy on how much this person affected me and how everyone seemed to be in love with this person. I don't know if it was because I felt the need to stand out or downplay my affections I would criticize them. Not seeing our emotions as causes and effects and reasoning, made me see things as fair or not fair. I felt justified to do that stuff and even now I am not entirely ashamed of it though I do regret what I put them through. I am a horrible person. I don't know if I can be a better person. I want to be deserving of love from good people. And if I try to be kinder and compassionate I just feel like I am pretending. My past, my encounters with people they know me for what I am. You know the villains in books and movies, they get redemption arcs too and it is romanticizable, literal murder is feels justifiable and we are able to look past that and develop empathy for these characters. But I feel like what I have done is worse. No one can ever look past that. I don't think no one would care to try to look past that.
Keep going, redemption is possible, but the first step is finding community/therapist/coach and a connection to something bigger than you like nature/Universe/God to hold you in compassion, grace, and love. You are worthy but you must decide that you are willing to open to worthiness. It won’t happen in one day but as long as you make that intention the Universe will co-conspire to bring you healing and love layer by layer, unfolding in slow but steady timing. You got this, trust in your core gifts. Everyone has them 💛
+Maui To engage in human relations is to be an emotional masochist. We willingly subject ourselves to the possibility of rejection, frustration, and public humiliation just in the off chance that we will find someone who appreciates and cherishes us. It’s madness. We have been tricked by society into thinking we need relationships to define us and our worth. People are shamed and ridiculed for seeking to define themselves outside of connections to others. Human relationships are petty and dangerous. We need to abandon them. They won’t do us any favors in the long run. Love is a trap.
@@razorwindrazor3981 social interactions have a negative relationship with dementia/Alzheimer's so if you don't want to die mumbling incoherently in a nursing home being eaten alive by maggots due to the neglect of corrupt staff, building social connections is probably not actually that bad of an idea
Hack: We can choose our deprivation and our inspiration moves with such a choice. For example, Choosing to be deprived of abuse. Inspiration is what occurs in meeting that deprivation in this example. Theory: We can choose our inspiration, and make such an inspiration known unto whom fulfills our goals. If it’s ourselves ourselves meets our goals, if it’s someone else that’s a form of deprivation similar to playing the sims and seeing an aspiration a sim wants to have, in exchange for meeting that achievements and bonus points are given unto the player among other things.
I love the core gifts way of thinking, taking time to recognize what is special and good about you and understanding that people should recognize that and appreciate it
This idea of "core gifts" really resonates with me, and I want to learn more about it. I'm going to look into the "Deeper Dating" book and hope to get a better understanding of myself and my relationships. I love my boyfriend, but sometimes I think he doesn't acknowledge or support what you've explained as core gifts.... I want us to work out, but I can't be with somebody who just makes me feel less than I am sometimes and doesn't understand me. Thank you for this information 🫶🙏 Also, using Prince Harry and Prince Charles as examples of the different kinds of attraction we can have really puts things into perspective and explains it in a digestible and easy way. Thank you!!
Thank you for being a real one and putting in so much work to be a better human. The self reflection and inspiration your channel and testimonies give is pure life ❤
You're lucky only if this is the case (for three years) and you truly feel this way. Otherwise it's as unattractive as being "stuck" in a relationship.
Love hearing your thoughts on essentially...everything. Thank you for all your videos, I always come away from them feeling positive and introspective!
As someone who has been married for over a decade - keep it simple. Be nice, as much as you can. Be honest. And be prepared to compromise. Not hard concepts.
Spot on. When it comes to core gifts, it's important to have them known to yourself AHEAD of time, not after you already fall into a relationship with someone. It's one thing if over time you find this person doesn't bring you up, they're aware of what you wanna do in life yet they go the opposite way, or in worst cases even become abusive to you. But don't decide half-way through the relationship "He doesn't support my core gift" when you neither communicated it, nor stand up for yourself if he becomes abusive. You don't deserve to go through abusive relationships, and he does not need to waste his time waiting for you to figure out your "core gifts"
Bruh for real, I’ve been single by choice for the last 7 years and now all my friends are pushing me to date again and I’m worried I’ll end up with someone awful.
The moment I fell out of love with my ex was when I realized he didn't believe in me. What ended it was when he openly told me to change things that I couldn't and didn't want to change, my being, my core. That was when I finally woke up. Oxytocin is one hell of a drug
Always wait 3-4 months and get to know the other as well as you can before you jump into bed. Watch for the red flags while you are dating. Look for one you are compatible with mentally, spiritually and physically. Know yourself before you commit to anyone. Make sure you both are on the same path.
Your editing and acting in this is amazing i'm subscribing rn Edit : i think what i like in your acting is that touch of sarcasm that doesn't really feel phoned in, bitter or cheesy
I have been single for 20yrs, it so nice I don't worry about anyone !!!! it makes life easier to just focus on yourself not having to fight or get in to arguments with others is a huge relief.
Awesome, awesome, awesome! This is literally what I teach my kids so they can live their best lives. All of what you mention is what I came to the realization of after my 20 year marriage ended and my healing began.
@a r I’m sorry to hear about the experience with your ex, hopefully you get to see a really beautiful view of yourself and stay strong for a glorious union ahead.
I'm not sure if this was obvious to everyone else, but I'm a bit lost on what attractions of deprivation actually means. Is it simply fueling insecurity?
![Blox Fruits Dragon Rework Update [Full Stream]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EqDAp8udhm0/mqdefault.jpg)
A piece of advice:
"If you are a creative person date someone who's a fan of your creativity"
YES. Not someone who will try to break your confidence and vision. It's the easiest way to breal a creative mind.
"If you are big chungy person, date someone who's a fan of big chungus"
Smooth way to get into her DM's...
YES this is so true!
Yes, and if ur a successful creative person, who honestly is more of a fan than the groupies. Amirite?
The one person you shouldn't date: Prince Charles.
Done and done
GAGAGAGAGAGA! I will now count to 3 and then I am still the unprettiest RUclipsr of all time. 1...2...3. GAGAGAGAGAGA!!! Thank you for your attention, dear james
😂😂😂😂😂😂
In a nutshell
prince trash
Prince trash well said!
"She's capable of anything" sounds so different in a romance vs a thriller
Lol
You just made my day 😂😂 So silly but omg so true!
ok but picture this: a romantic thriller?
If it's a sci-fi/ fantasy it sounds even more different
You just made my morning, good sir 😂
Never prioritize someone who treats you like an option. That alone will save you so much time and heartbreak.
That sounds good in saying, but very unrealistic in todays age of online dating, where women have plenty options and average men have to play a numbers game to actually find somebody, therefore everybody can only see options.
^
@@MMOplayeerr If you “play a numbers game” with online dating, then you’ll likely only match with people who will take what they can get. Not somebody who picks you out of a crowd. People “playing a numbers game” can be sensed and anyone seeking genuine connection is just gonna nope out. Finding genuine connection can take time, but it’s more fulfilling.
@@thriftyfreebies The 'number game' is different for men and women. The way our society is , a woman picks a man because her numbers are basically options. A man gets picked up by woman so his numbers are compulsions. If men do not approach it like that he risks staying single all his life. A man does not have that luxury , unless he is conventionally good looking or wealthy or have lot of communication skills , to pick and choose that much. Its mind bending when you look at from a man's perspective. Btw any girl who says oh she looks for inside bla bla she is lying..just simple lie or just does not know herself. She WILL look for that inner beauty , yes , AFTER she has dated bunch of idiots and her time is running out for having kids.
@@Valkyri3Z "any girl who says oh she looks for inside bla bla she is lying" mate my girl fell in love with me when i looked like a homeless person. you're being shallow. but obviously looks play a part. but many women look for the inner beauty even when young, just like many men do. immaturity comes to play (...like you generalizing entire demogaphics...) and lack of experience makes dating and more so a potential relationship hard, but that's part of the play.
you usually need more than one relationship to understand what you really want out of one. that's totally fine. but many men nowadays seem to idealize far too quickly because someone vibes well, and that's something that women do pick up on. just like men do.
I love the idea of trying to recognizing your own core gifts and only accepting people who appreciate them and you.
I'm happy enjoying others and not feeling as if I'm not being disrespected by them. This isn't the same thing, but I've been single for three years (like Anna) and haven't found anything like feeling loved. Core beliefs and core strengths are important.
It's true, my ex saw my gifts as my weaknesses...that's why he's my ex now
@M A T There is a huge difference in people who appreciate your core gifts and you, but also tell you to the truth and allow you to grow, vs someone who actively puts you down constantly out of jealousy of your core gift.
💯
Basically put, your partner should always lift you up to be the best person you can be.
Even if they are jealous, they need to put their jealousy aside and help you foster what you're good at doing. After all, growing as a person requires discomfort, and jealousy is just a form of discomfort about a perceived inadequacy.
Support your loved ones, peeps, and accept they *will* be better than you in some areas. It's the adult thing to do.
Wow, good to see a comment out in the world about how to healthily accept and address jealousy. It is often shunned, demonized and simply not talked about, but it is only an emotion - it can't do any harm without harmful actions to follow it. Jealousy can be a great sign to focus on what to improve about yourself (perceived inadequacy as you said), as emotions reveal to us things about ourselves we may not have previously known or acknowledged. Fantastic comment!
That was very well put!
how are some people not jealous tho even if someone is better in x area than them? is it cause they admire it and think its cool instead and they dont care that their not as great in the area
True.
Very well, if jealousy is discomfort and that's what growing as a person is: if you're gonna expect your partner to put up with it, you should put it with it yourself. Because it's growth, and that's what you should do for your partner
Most of Diana interviews hurt me to my soul. She still and always be the queen in our hearts!
It sounds like you are experiencing the collective female pain-body that Eckhart Tolle talks about in "The Power of Now."
The People's Princess, of course!
@@nickkamenev8281 there is no "collective female body pain", it's called empathy and pretty common in humans
@@talfrie I was just trying to empathize with Jackie
@@nickkamenev8281 that book is for losers who think they’re woke and discovered the answers of the universe. Ive read it and its cringe
Wisdom does not come with age, it comes with experience. We tend to get better when we look at our failures.
Yes. Thinking all old people are wiser and more mature is not correct. Sometimes young people go through stuff too
And not even just experience, but the ability to reflect on those experiences. A lot of experienced yet unwise people out there.
I absolutely love the turn towards introspection over the past few years for Anna. Her combition of wit and sincerity really make the viewing experience feel personal and relatable
I've found Anna's alt account
Empathy is definitely a core gift. In all honesty, if you feel what someone feels, then they will most certainly appreciate and reciprocate
No, this is definitely not the case. People feel threatened by the most narcissistic reasons, reasons of jealousy, feelings of less self-worth.
I think the point was that not everyone appreciates and reciprocates, and you should choose someone who does.
People often do NOT appreciate or reciprocate empathy. Empathy is uncomfortable for most people.
I think the same. How someone expects to have a SO if they don’t have any type if empathy.
OOF this is definitely not true
"I've been single for three years now"
Me: "Finally, a worthy opponent! Our battle will be legendary!"
Huh? An opponent in what kind of a contest? Surely you're not talking about a partnership or even love (or both) are you? Advice: Don't!
I wonder who'll win😉😂
@@meghana1113 Nobody wins these battles. The children lose the most.
Hahha love that comment 😄
Red Flag.... people that don't understand and appreciate sarcasm. 😂
Hi Anna, we've reached out to you over email! Hopefully we can collaborate together soon :)
Yesss, perfect colaboration
aaa :D that would be awesome !!
Dude that would be epic
This would be so good stop
Yes please!
Also, the folks at Psych2go mentioned that we tend to be attracted to what's familiar, rather than what's best for us. So if you grew up in an abusive household, you are familiar with that toxic environment and might subconsciously seek to recreate that familiar environment in a new connection. Hence, why it's important to know yourself before looking for a serious romantic connection.
This 100%. It’s so sad that understanding ourselves is so fundamental to not repeating the broken cycle, but even more tragic, is that it is impossible to see that cycle until we are able to get outside it, and actually see it from outside looking in.
Sooo American society is broken
@@qjtvaddict Most societies are. Most people are.
Dunno though based on my experience they just gave me the example of red flags that I will avoid in the future. I really hate closed-minded and angry people the most. 🙂
You're correct. For most people, looking within is too scary. It's not just a 5 minute horror show either. It's a marathon of some of the most painful memories you get to re-live until you learn to let go. This is why people are more comfortable in their pain with something familiar than to face their past trauma's and grow out of their shell.
*Reads title* - That would be my ex.
bro, it`s so rare to see you here! i`m one of you subscribers! =D
An unexpected but not an unwanted surprise 😆
Lol
I was thinking exactly the same
😂😂😂
Anna fascinates me to no end with her intellect.
Same
That's cuz she reads books.
Books make people fascinating.
@@niccolom Well, not only. Reading books doesn't make everyone smarter or more articulate, and it is not that easy to present information from a book you read in such a clear and playful manner. It shows she's quite smart, introspective and hard-working.
Yall are deluded. Megan inspired Harry by ruining his life
fr, how does she do it? OwO
"What gifts do you bring to the relationship" also translates to "What do you bring to the table in the relationship." Because if only one person is bringing gifts its not going to be a good relationship.
True.
Everyone has gifts and is bringing them to the table. The question here is, are those gifts compatible, are they valued by your partner or do they need something different?
This is really deep. Prince Harry and Meghan see themselves as equals. On the other hand, Prince Charles expects to be the center of attention, but it all went to Diana.
Isn’t Prince Harry the one that got divorced though?
@@m.c.martin Nope. Charles and Diana separated and the queen encouraged the two to divorce.
Meghan sees herself as superior, and Harry is her trophy
@@MsBabbi oh did meghan phone you up and say that herself?
The conundrum is it's rare that any person is an "either/or" fully inspirational or deprivational, but rather BOTH will have a mix of inspirational traits along with deprivational traits- because we are HUMAN with imperfections.
So one must figure out what the "mix" is with not just the person you're interested in but yourself as well to figure out if the "combined mix" is mutually compatible.
Exactly. If it was cookie cutter, it would be far too easy to find 'the one'
Know yourself before you know others. Know your wants and desires before you learn those of someone else. Understand if you are following your natural path (Tao) or trying to force a path/relationship to meet your own goal.
Well...it should be fine if the path means better financial status for ypu and the kid...mo money mo freedom
Prince Charles with the dislike we see you. Wonderful work as always Anna
One of my favorite things about Anna is that she's not self-deprecating, but is realistic with her faults.
what a perfect timing-
Yeah youtube knows lmao
youtube has access to our concerns. So concerning 😅
Yesss
Huh? What has happened?
EXACTLYYYYYYY
The fact that someone as beautiful, talented and intelligent as you has been single for 3 years makes me feel a lot less troubled by my almost four years of being single. This is the longest stretch I can remember and it is by choice for the most part - so much effort needs to be made to share something that should be so easy and I am just not going to settle for anything less than what I want. She's out there somewhere and if the universe will it we will find each other. Good luck with your chosen direction and thank you for sharing!
Been single all my life. Not that hard lol. Yk the more I read into this relationship and stuff, the more I feel like being single isn't that bad.
Or maybe it's my coping mechanism lmao
She is holding out for the top 0.1% tall, rich, 6pack abs, but the top 0.1% got options. So she gets pumped and dumped and keeps accumulating mental damage while staying perpetually single. Time and time again it keeps happening.
I really admire that she didn't place the blame of the ending of previous relationships entirely on the other person. Takes real guts and courage to admit one may have been to blame.
Around 7 years without anyone and never better.
I hate to parrot the tired line, but if you don't value your own gifts, you'll make it difficult for yourself to present them to your partner. This can lead to a very lopsided relationship with one person validating what makes the other special, and the other being mystified about what they're supposed to be valuing
Here’s hoping everyone finds that special someone that appreciates them and everything that makes you who you are.
I think my core gifts are sensitivity and kindness towards my friends. My ex told me to not be so sensitive and attached to my friends. I want someone who appreciates these parts of me.
This was such a good explanation of why I sometimes felt attracted to someone but also had a sinking feeling whenever they walked into the room. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why I was attracted to someone like that, but now I know. Thanks Anna!
I like that you included “…or I didn’t value the core gifts of my partners.” It goes both ways and I needed to hear that.
Still can't get over the way Harry and Meghan look at each other with pure love. Great choice of examples.
This is so true, Learning your own core gifts and seeking people who appreciate them. Literally have been told I'm too much by some people then others are completely fine with it *shrugs*
It took me a good long while to recognize the difference between that initial chemistry based on genuine affection & admiration, vs. something that feels oddly similar to chemistry but is actually just comfortable because it resembles the trauma in your life….
I've been dumped 1 month ago. This explained to me why my relationship was toxic for me. It was weird because it was like sofly toxic. I tried so hard to match her expectations.
I bet you will meet someone wonderful that will make you feel comfortable, loved and at peace! Just keep working and focusing on yourself. The right girl with come along in meanwhile !
Need to actually start paying Anna for being my therapist 😂 Her videos have informed me on so much
I learned this so early on with friends, I had a friend in my life who made me feel terrible for being myself, for being everything that I was that she was insecure about… if she felt like I was better than her in any way, she found a way to make me pay for it. She’d put me down in front of others, make snide comments if I ever had confidence, talked behind my back, and seriously took advantage of me. The only good thing that came from that relationship is that it taught me so much, and I’ve never had to experience a romantic relationship with those issues. I found friends who love me and let me be myself (and vice versa,) and bring out the absolute best in me, and I’ve never gone back. I hope everyone can learn this lesson early in life or never have to deal with it in the first place. If you ever feel like you’re too much, or not enough, or both at the same time, you’re not in the right crowd.
Just cause they're hot doesn't mean they respect you.
Or you could say: 'Having their attention doesn't mean you have their respect.'
Genius. Thank you. I just experienced this and ended it literally moments ago and saw this. I kept wondering why I was so attached when I wasn't getting a fraction of what I was giving. Duly noted. Some people will just take and not understand that it goes both ways.
Single 3 years, that's rookie numbers. You got to push them up..
Wow this is so on point! When I was younger I was not my true self I was a devalued. Now I am most definitely am inspirer. It's amazing because for the last like 10 years I've been telling people that I will not be in a relationship out of commitment but only out of inspiration and if somebody wants to be with me they have to inspire me and I will be committed out of inspiration And it's funny because 90% of women actually treat me worse and since I'm attractive six-foot-six I'm a very powerful man a lot of them don't like my core power and try to destroy it out of insecurity.
like you said. So I've been single for a couple years and celibate for a year working on my peace power and prosperity!!!
Conflict maturity is like the #1 thing for lasting relationships
Oui oui
yes!!
Narcissists abuse you because you're trying to use them a distraction for all the inner work you refuse to do.
attraction of deprivation is also called "playing the game", as if messing with another human life should be only worth some thrill to another person. it should not, yet it's something that wealthy people have been doing for centuries on a whole other level.
For sure.
Well...this is good timing.
I really appreciate how at the end she says her past relationships likely didn't work because her core gifts were not appreciated OR SHE didn't value the core gifts of her partners. Talk about integrity and owning up to what you've done instead of only blaming others ❤️ Thank you, I needed this.
Anna deserves 100 times the views, she's the single most introspective and relatable person on this platform
Love this... After 3 years being single, I've changed from one kind of love to another. The deprivation love drove me crazy. I was depressed and anxious and I had to seek for therapy. The love I have right now is the opposite. It encourages me, it makes me feel I deserve the best because I worth. This is real love, not the anxiety of deprivation
Watching this for the 2nd time, this is such a great help and reminder!
Anna's core gift of Harry Potter-like spontaneously apparating her pink headphones onto herself should make anyone sound off on wanting to date her.
I didn't value the core gifts in my friend on whom I had a crush on. I didn't realise it was a crush and all I felt was this anger and jealousy on how much this person affected me and how everyone seemed to be in love with this person. I don't know if it was because I felt the need to stand out or downplay my affections I would criticize them. Not seeing our emotions as causes and effects and reasoning, made me see things as fair or not fair. I felt justified to do that stuff and even now I am not entirely ashamed of it though I do regret what I put them through. I am a horrible person. I don't know if I can be a better person. I want to be deserving of love from good people. And if I try to be kinder and compassionate I just feel like I am pretending. My past, my encounters with people they know me for what I am. You know the villains in books and movies, they get redemption arcs too and it is romanticizable, literal murder is feels justifiable and we are able to look past that and develop empathy for these characters. But I feel like what I have done is worse. No one can ever look past that. I don't think no one would care to try to look past that.
Keep going, redemption is possible, but the first step is finding community/therapist/coach and a connection to something bigger than you like nature/Universe/God to hold you in compassion, grace, and love. You are worthy but you must decide that you are willing to open to worthiness. It won’t happen in one day but as long as you make that intention the Universe will co-conspire to bring you healing and love layer by layer, unfolding in slow but steady timing. You got this, trust in your core gifts. Everyone has them 💛
I love how simply she puts all the things
I know this is off topic, but you're cute, smart and genuine. You are definitely a positive female force on the internet; thanks and keep it up!!
I love that you have a passion for learning and improving yourself! And that you share your new found knowledge and continue to inspire us!
+Maui
To engage in human relations is to be an emotional masochist. We willingly subject ourselves to the possibility of rejection, frustration, and public humiliation just in the off chance that we will find someone who appreciates and cherishes us. It’s madness. We have been tricked by society into thinking we need relationships to define us and our worth. People are shamed and ridiculed for seeking to define themselves outside of connections to others. Human relationships are petty and dangerous. We need to abandon them. They won’t do us any favors in the long run. Love is a trap.
@@razorwindrazor3981 social interactions have a negative relationship with dementia/Alzheimer's so if you don't want to die mumbling incoherently in a nursing home being eaten alive by maggots due to the neglect of corrupt staff, building social connections is probably not actually that bad of an idea
+lixinxin
Love is a trap.
Wow this definitely got me thinking. Thank you again for the free therapy!
As always... GREAT CONTENT AND PERFECT TIMING.
Hack:
We can choose our deprivation and our inspiration moves with such a choice.
For example,
Choosing to be deprived of abuse.
Inspiration is what occurs in meeting that deprivation in this example.
Theory:
We can choose our inspiration, and make such an inspiration known unto whom fulfills our goals. If it’s ourselves ourselves meets our goals, if it’s someone else that’s a form of deprivation similar to playing the sims and seeing an aspiration a sim wants to have, in exchange for meeting that achievements and bonus points are given unto the player among other things.
Quiero que me quieran por como soy, no a pesar de como soy.
-Axlin
Wow. So many insights. Thank you. Just ordered the book.
I love the core gifts way of thinking, taking time to recognize what is special and good about you and understanding that people should recognize that and appreciate it
This idea of "core gifts" really resonates with me, and I want to learn more about it. I'm going to look into the "Deeper Dating" book and hope to get a better understanding of myself and my relationships. I love my boyfriend, but sometimes I think he doesn't acknowledge or support what you've explained as core gifts.... I want us to work out, but I can't be with somebody who just makes me feel less than I am sometimes and doesn't understand me. Thank you for this information 🫶🙏
Also, using Prince Harry and Prince Charles as examples of the different kinds of attraction we can have really puts things into perspective and explains it in a digestible and easy way. Thank you!!
Thank you for being a real one and putting in so much work to be a better human. The self reflection and inspiration your channel and testimonies give is pure life ❤
"I've been single for three years"
YOU'RE SO LUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!
You're lucky only if this is the case (for three years) and you truly feel this way. Otherwise it's as unattractive as being "stuck" in a relationship.
i mean it doesn’t really have anything to do with luck it‘s not like a relationship just happens it‘s very much a decision
Love hearing your thoughts on essentially...everything. Thank you for all your videos, I always come away from them feeling positive and introspective!
Anna! you are a communications genius! Remember that as one of your core aspects!!!
How wonderfully honest of you, Anna. Thanks for the vid.
As someone who has been married for over a decade - keep it simple. Be nice, as much as you can. Be honest. And be prepared to compromise. Not hard concepts.
Hard for our current generation
Spot on. When it comes to core gifts, it's important to have them known to yourself AHEAD of time, not after you already fall into a relationship with someone. It's one thing if over time you find this person doesn't bring you up, they're aware of what you wanna do in life yet they go the opposite way, or in worst cases even become abusive to you. But don't decide half-way through the relationship "He doesn't support my core gift" when you neither communicated it, nor stand up for yourself if he becomes abusive. You don't deserve to go through abusive relationships, and he does not need to waste his time waiting for you to figure out your "core gifts"
Being cool with being single is the best way to be when evaluating these things, too. Hold out and be your best you.
The Core Gifts Thing was a Great Takeaway. Thanks Anna.
too broke for therapy so thank u anna
I’m here from your book Ana. I’m following your advice “taking actions”. Thank you Ana for changing young women lives.
Thank you so much for your wisdom!! Here's to finding people who amplify our core gifts
"Whatever in love means" CRINGE. Ouch, Well just seeing Harry and Megan just put a big smile on my face. Thank you for your channel and IG etc. :)
I adore your videos. Watching them is like breathing a sigh of relief.
You bring something so special to RUclips. Thank you for this
Thank you Anna for your creative and insightful videos
Bruh for real, I’ve been single by choice for the last 7 years and now all my friends are pushing me to date again and I’m worried I’ll end up with someone awful.
I’m just excited we’ve been single for the same amount of time.
Always thought-provoking, always entertaining 👍👏👏
“Prince trash- sorry prince Charles” XD XD
was looking for this one😂
Thank you so much for this gift omg. I was sitting here crushed by "someone" and this helped me realize what I already denied in my heart.
I must say it's one of your best videos anna. More wisdom to you !
Pretty serious topic and compared to other videos, it definitively comes off that way. Thank you for making content like this.
I never thought I'd appreciate being personally attacked like this 😅
The moment I fell out of love with my ex was when I realized he didn't believe in me. What ended it was when he openly told me to change things that I couldn't and didn't want to change, my being, my core. That was when I finally woke up. Oxytocin is one hell of a drug
Don't date a Prince. Problem solved. Plus the Purple one died.
wow XD
you always get me thinking Anna! great vid :)
Always wait 3-4 months and get to know the other as well as you can before you jump into bed. Watch for the red flags while you are dating. Look for one you are compatible with mentally, spiritually and physically. Know yourself before you commit to anyone. Make sure you both are on the same path.
Your editing and acting in this is amazing i'm subscribing rn
Edit : i think what i like in your acting is that touch of sarcasm that doesn't really feel phoned in, bitter or cheesy
in other words, find someone who sees you in the way you want to be seen
I have been single for 20yrs, it so nice I don't worry about anyone !!!! it makes life easier to just focus on yourself not having to fight or get in to arguments with others is a huge relief.
*super* appreciated this omggg
im in the same boat. hope the postives keep coming for you no matter what path your on and the negtives stay away
I think so much of this can apply to feeding healthy friendships too.
Awesome, awesome, awesome! This is literally what I teach my kids so they can live their best lives. All of what you mention is what I came to the realization of after my 20 year marriage ended and my healing began.
Anna: I've been single for three years.
Me: I'm 31 and have been single my entire life.
Wow
@a r I’m sorry to hear about the experience with your ex, hopefully you get to see a really beautiful view of yourself and stay strong for a glorious union ahead.
Watching her go through the epiphany phase in real time is crazy.
I'm not sure if this was obvious to everyone else, but I'm a bit lost on what attractions of deprivation actually means. Is it simply fueling insecurity?
If you don’t know, it might be you.
@@marciamcdevitt964 That's not helpful at all.
I think Anna is referring to finding attractive and wanting someone who feeds your insecurities about the things you do and are.
You're brilliant, good timing too. This vid made me teared up a little.. everything so much clearer.
Two completely and totally different types of energy between a father and son.