Scraps: Jordan Schlansky's Masterpiece | CONAN on TBS
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- Опубликовано: 26 сен 2024
- Jordan Schlansky explains why "Star Wars" is superior to "Star Trek" for far far too long.
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ABOUT CONAN ON TBS
Airing weeknights since 2010, CONAN on TBS is home to topical monologues, remote segments, celebrity interviews, musical performances and stand-up from the top comedians in the world. Watch highlights, outtakes and behind the scenes footage of Conan palling around with sidekick Andy Richter, tormenting Associate Producer Jordan Schlansky and playing the latest video games on Clueless Gamer.
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Scraps: Jordan Schlansky's Masterpiece | CONAN on TBS
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I think this is the longest time Conan has ever gone without speaking
what about all those other times when conan had to listen to jordan?
@@ifalone he has NEVER let Jordan talk this long before without incident
Elias Beachman Really? Have you seen ‘Jordan Schlanskys Long-Winded Tour of Italy’ ?
@@cammeelia2815 however that video consisted of different scenes. This video consist of just one scene where Jordan talks for the entire time
He looks like hes been hypnotized.
This is what Jordan meant by "I have various duties and responsibilities"
lol brilliant
ROFLMAO! 😂
Wonderfully said.
Yes 😂😂😂😂😂
Special Forces!
This is all jordan has ever wanted. To be heard without interruption
@Cynthia May superiority complex much?
@Cynthia May lol nerd
finally the recognition he deserves
You have a very good name..... Isaiah
@Cynthia May so than by logic greater than humanity itself it is proven that star wars> star trek
I know Conan and Jordan are friends and Jordan has been with Conan for a long time. I know this was meant to be a gag, but the fact that Conan didn’t cut him off and kept it going and also complimented him for his words was actually very heartfelt. I hope Conan and Jordan stay friends forever. They’ve brought me a lot of happiness in my life.
They will stay friends forever because for some reason I can sense from their conversations they are really really good friends
How old are you guys ?
So what urr saying is u coot
@@ishtisikder539😂
I wonder how Jimmy Fallon would act in that situation…
I like how Jordan basically comes out and presents his graduate thesis.
His argument sounds very similar to Jordan Peterson's analysis on the Lion King.
@@ironmantis25 Too bad only one Jordan learned the importance of cleaning his bloody room.
i hope i could borrow him to write mine
Actually his speech is pretty close to my master thesis
@taher tufenkeji This is closer to a summary of the thesis: ruclips.net/video/kS5XRsHh6vU/видео.html
Proof that Jordan Schlansky is an improvisational genius
He is an alien or robot
@@probablynotabigtoe9407 - I want to know what a videosy is.
I believe it's a part of why he was hired for his position
@@jarensonger2501 He is a producer... Not 1 part of his job description explains that.
Pat, i'd like an "N"
The best part is where he pronounced Van Gogh correctly in Dutch.
Thanks to QI, I too was impressed!
4:08
Expect nothing less from Jordan Schlanskey
I thought he cleared his throat
video doesn't match voice, it looks edited. 3:55
What's so scary is that Jordan is actually being very articulate - even though none of us care what he's talking about, he actually does and that's what makes this so much more funny.
scary = funny, got it
I think Jordan is a high functioning person with autism. He is insanely passionate and knowledgeable about very specific things like Italy, Japan, Star Wars etc. and gets offended when Conan doesn't take it seriously. He is probably a very good producer because he is so detail oriented and focused. He seems to have trouble with social cues and eye contact.
@@nickberkawitz6451 maybe he has autism, maybe he doesn't. But it is obviously an exaggerated caricature of himself that he's playing in most of the show. To me, he always seems to understand social cues perfectly fine to create the funniest situation possible by ignoring them completely. Perhaps you have autism for not being able to realize this? So many mysteries!
I care.
Its funny you say that "none of us care".......
And he's NOT reading from a teleprompter! That's Jordan Schlansky for you.
We should see him as a living robot.
his mind is a teleprompter
He is magnificent. improvising?
Shruti Singh still hasn't said much.
that's talent!
I'm now convinced that Jordan's "various tasks" mainly consist of having a monologue prepared for every conceivable topic. It's the on-going herculean effort to be so well-prepared for "various" subjects.
Lol he always does. Like he could have did the exact same that he did for this, but for coffee, and it would of actually gone on for hours instead. That must be why his Office is so discombobulated, because he has no time to organize it, but every second of his time is dedicated to studying the most mundane thing(s) lol.
He's like a battle rapper
@burteriksson lol rap is not all about rhymes, it's about presenting knowledge and relevance in a relatable way. In that way he was very much like a battle rapper
He is a smart dude witn a great memory.
@burteriksson r/iamverysmart
The length he went on for without an "eh" or "uh" is astounding. A real gem they have there.
I caught an "um" at around 6:02, and then an "uh" at around 6:05 shortly after, but yea, he barely used any of those fillers words/sounds at all. Pretty impressive.
He said "in fact" and "I'll tell you" and "however" and "now". My guess is that he went to a public speaking or motivational speaking course because one of the things they tell you is to never say "uh" or "like" because it sounds unauthoritative. Saying things like "I'll tell you" sounds like a definitive and dynamic when really it means nothing and achieves the same purpose of filling the silence between brain and mouth as "um"
He actually says it alot. Maybe 10+ times but it is buried within alot of words.
2 minutes isn't that impressive
He said uh at 6:05
The fact that he was able to wrap it back on topic each time was insane. I thought he was fucked when he started talking about paintings but he brought it back flawlessly.
Imagine being his wife and getting into an argument
Imagine being my wife and being way to satisfied to argue
@@scottbrooklyn2995 what are you on about?
@@MrSonicmjc It's a joke. But I'm saying my wife is to sexually satisfied to argue with me
@@scottbrooklyn2995 don't feel bad, he could never please Lenore
He has brief conversations with his wife, tells her he’s going to Italy to romance himself.
Teacher: "Prepare a 2000 word essay due next class"
Jordan: "Hold my latte"
Mad Russian He doesn't drink "lattes", the closest he can do is a cappuccino from Gambrinus, in Piazza del plebiscito in Naples
hold my espresso
Mad Russian I think he would just say I can get that to you after lunch teacher.
Giovanni Barozzi hold my biscotti oh sorry biscotto (singular)
He drinks espresso.
Um. This was incredible.
FYI, Turbulent flow is better!
How do u have 8million subs and only get 84likes
DaniedanDaniel because it was not a very interesting comment
Didn't know you were a fan of Conan! Sweet!
Proof that everybody enjoys their chemistry. Even SmarterEveryDay.
First time I've seen Conan break character and give Jordan a sincere compliment for going 6 minutes straight improv
Conan's not that gfood of an actor
The INSTANT I see Jordan Schlansky, I click.
Same!
Zuhaab Temuri same
The INSTANT I see Jordan's Schlansky, I click.
Exactly
Im wondering if Jordan does this, when his wife asks what he wants for dinner
....who said that jordan's wife was not a fellow nerd?
"Well to be precise..."
Nah just when she's trying to bone...
What's up Rebelle? Long time no see 🙋
Im wondering why you use commas, without purpose
This is funny but it also shows that Jordan Schlansky is borderline genius. He has a wealth of knowledge and is able to expound on it at length. That's pretty impressive.
I think he is a genius in terms of his knowledge about various cultures and traditions, not to mention his vast knowledge about science. He really is a well rounded genius. Either that or he practices off screen a lot 😂
It’s crazy how he just keeps going and he doesn’t stutter or anything
Sheldon Cooper in real life.
@Josh Hannon No he's not.
I would watch an interview show with Jordan and intelligent guests.
Laugh all you want, Jordan is a genius. A man of various knowledge. A walking encyclopedia.
Man a really he let of a rant like I’ve never seen
I like the guy in the background is the only one laughing lol
Various knowledge and responsibilities.
I loved how no one, not even Andy, tried to intervene or interrupt Jordan's speech...They all knew this was pure magic to be enjoyed up to its full extent...This nerve-wracking moment of television brought to you by Mr. Jordan Schlansky...
I loved how he could make sense that long
Conan looks like he just woke up through this whole thing. Lmao
Poor guy
@@Ashbash-kf5xd I bet he absorbed most of it honestly.
You are so right !
He just kept talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt, it was really quite hypnotic.
Great quote
I know that reference.
* CUE THE MUSIC!! U S S...
And that is why Star Trek is better than Star Wars.
I understand this reference and im happy
Here's Jordan's speech transcribed, and boy, is it long…
Well, Star Trek is grand in our own frame of reference, and as such suffers from the limits of our own trite reality. In fact, Star Wars delves more into the world of fantasy and mythology, and touches on some universal mythological themes that have been present across humanity since the beginning of time, you'll find that most cultures on Earth share a common mythology, in fact the Greek Odysseus was known as Ulysses in Rome, the Greek Zeus was known as Jupiter in Rome, the Greek Poseidon was known as Neptune in Rome, and you're talking about of a young farm-boy from the middle of nowhere that goes up against a great oppressor, and this story is common a lot in mythology, such as Davey and Goliath, and you'll find again that this touches the core human emotion that we all need to explore through a fantasy world those constants which we cannot achieve in our own reality world. Now, on another note, I find that the, uh, universal worldwide acceptance of Star Wars is grounded in this commonality that we all share instead of being limited through one frame of reference, through one focal point, we can see things in a cross-cultural manner, if you will, and in fact, to expand on that a little bit, I think that you’ll find that the Star Wars Universe is relatable for any culture on Earth, any economic standing, any financial standing on Earth, because again, we’re talking about themes that are core to the concept of humanity in general and emotional. Furthermore, I can tell you that the types of themes that you’re talking about in Star Trek are limited towards a certain set of circumstances that exist in, almost a two-dimensional plane, where in Star Wars you’re really exploring different feelings about humanity, happiness, sadness, all of the various spectrum of the human existence, and I find that even though you are talking about characters that are often not human, we as human beings can identify through their struggles, and you’ll find that most great storytelling has to deal with a protagonist, an ordinary person up against extraordinary odds, and I think that if you look at the literature across the history of recorded time, you’ll find that a lot of the greatest stories have followed that same theme. The storyline is almost unimportant, because you’re talking about grand themes here, about human achievement when faced with unlikely odds, and furthermore I can tell you that beyond that, it’s something that we can all agree upon, it is all something we can all identify with, and relatability, I’m sure you know, as someone that works in the storytelling world, is a concept that is necessary to have an audience invest themselves into the story that you’re telling. I’ll also tell you that the Star Wars Universe, while on some level is very exotic, had a musical soundtrack grounded in nineteenth century romantic music, and in fact, I can relate Star Wars, the appeal of it, towards some of the great impressionist paintings like Dutch Van Gogh, because his paintings, although not photographic if you will, or photorealistic, inspired our own imagination to latch onto the concepts present in the painting, and for example, if you look at Van Gogh’s Starry Night, you’ll see that again, while it doesn’t necessarily look exactly like a city and stars, and the wind blowing through the trees, you can feel the feeling of what it was like to be in that situation. You know, unlike looking at a photograph, which again gives you that two-dimensional representation; a split second, a microsecond in time, if you will, and if anyone knows that’s had a bad photograph taken in a split second in time, doesn’t often represent the whole picture. However, when you’re talking about the idea of a painting, and certainly an oil painting, an impressionist oil painting, you’re not necessarily capturing all of the minute details, you’re capturing a feeling. Now, how do you put a feeling down on canvas? How do you put a feeling down on the screen? Well, that’s the job of the artistic storytelling, and in fact the storyteller in this case took his own human emotions, his own human struggles, and that of others, and put them into a fantastic circumstance, which none of us could have possibly experienced, yet, can all take pride in, relate to, again, the young, struggling farm-boy wanting to be part of a- now these are the things that were touched upon in 1976’s Rocky, I’m talking about the original Rocky; it wasn’t about winning the fight, that movie’s not a boxing movie, that movie is about an ordinary guy (Producers laugh) placed in extraordinary circumstances; a guy… he was the underdog, you know, another common concept you find in a lot of literature. He was the underdog that wanted to make a- -all he wanted to do was go the distance. He wanted to make it to the Philadelphia Spectrum. It probably has some corporate branded name now, but at the time in 1976, shot in 1975, it was called the Philadelphia Spectrum because theatres and arenas, amphitheaters, had real names back then, uhh, I think Fenway Park is still named as such Candlestick park, I’m sure it’s been renamed, I don’t really follow sports myself, but I’ve heard these terms said, and I know that a lot of the original, like Shea Stadium was like Citi Bank Field, or something, but (clears throat) that’s not really relevant to what I’m talking about here, but uuhhhh… interesting nevertheless. However, umm, what I’m saying is that for an artist to accurately portray a feeling on film or canvas, or whatever the medium; I mean, you could be talking about a mound of clay, really the artistic medium is irrelevant, and when a singer gets up and sings, you don’t care about the vocal cords vibrating at certain frequencies, you’re trying to take part in or relate to a certain feeling that that artist is trying to convey. When a sculptor takes a look at a hunk of mud and clears away certain sections to make this great monolith of art, again, it’s not about the minerals that are present in the mud, it’s about the feeling that you’re trying to convey.
(Applause and laughter)
Conan- You’re fired. Get the f*** out of here and never come back.
Carl F great job!
Carl F i
Jesus Christ Youre insane. In a good way😉
My God I got so angry reading this
“Mound” of clay
Incredible, he touched on all artistic mediums, from the Romantic era of music history to early mythology to Van HCHHOGHGH, he is truly a man of culture
Yeah, THAT'S HOW YOU ACTUALLY SAY VAN GOGH! It's a Dutch name, and we say that HARSH GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
We actually chuckle at the way Americans tend to pronounce it...
Seriously, you can never have too much of Jordan Schlansky!
Corrni O
Or gravy
Corrni he's just so smart
idk about that
Conan: I didn't know I was supposed to cut you off.
Also Conan: I wanna see how long he can keep this up.
This commonly happens in improv
putting this through MLA format, Jordan just improvised the equivalent of a four page essay on why star wars is better than star trek on the spot
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
And he did it really well.
ruclips.net/video/rmRouEds_2A/видео.html
I don't know, in some parts he is rephrasing the same argument. Let's say those were 5 solid minutes of unique writable argumentation of which at least other 2 were tangents on painting and sport center names
@Scuffed Paul Denino ruclips.net/video/GM-e46xdcUo/видео.html
This is absolutely incredible and has single handedly convinced me that Jordan deserves whatever theyr paying him for whatever he does at this show
I have it on good authority that he performs various tasks and/or duties.
Even if he doesn't do anything, I say still pay him the big money because he's a treasure anyway.
@@AlexColberg Philosopher in residence.
Conan knew that he was witnessing a truly legendary performance. Whether it was 100% scripted, pure imrpov, or a mixture of scripted and improv, this is incredible. He doesnt even pause!
I think everyone who sees this as bullshitting or scripted has never attended a post secondary lecture before, or even sat through a damned TED Talk.
@@gravityhypernova i hope you realize lectures and TED talks (especially) are largely scripted speaking events... not to mention they don't usually match the pace at which Jordan threw words out of his mouth. skepticism is understandable, even though i believe Jordan can sling words like a boss.
You ask anyone to talk about what they are most passionate about and I garuntee they can talk for ten minutes about it without stopping no problem.
@@Drewvyy a careful thinker wouldn't necessarily want to ramble on without a theme or thesis in mind, sure they could talk for 10 minutes but might not have a prepared string of sentences on random aspects of whatever topic you asked them about
burteriksson Wow you're arrogant.
I know the whole Jordan Schlansky character is a satire, but even if he wouldn't be so deadpan in real life, for him to come up with that essay on art off the cuff, they've got to be real thoughts swirling inside his head somewhere. He must be really intelligent to pull that off, especially considering he didn't expect to continue for nearly as long.
well he said himself that this character is just an exaggerated version of his true self
JustMax do you have a source of where he said this?
@@degeneracyeverywhere i guess his reddit
To me it is just sad that everyone is so baffled about his words even though he didn't say anything special. Shows how the public cares less and less about the world and more and more about the individual.
@@DiabolicaLuke he have reddit account? Src?
this guy wrote a 10 pages essay on the spot
Keyue Chen more like on the spock
Keyue Chen in first person sadly
Corina Chen more like 2 pages.
writers of the show more likely
@OblivionMike This was Improv. If anything he just had a small list of choice subjects to help him riff on to keep going. If he didnt than its even more impressive
This is actually beautiful. I love seeing people express love of their passion no matter if I share the passion or not its just a thing I appreciate. On top of all that Jordan is a very articulate speaker and what he's saying actually has meaning which is very impressive especially to someone like me who can't even form an entire sentence at almost 20 years of age. Genuinely fascinating.
Conan is sitting there trying to remember if he shut the garage door.
LooooooL!!!!!!!!
Jordan should be a trial lawyer. He would wear any opponent down with his monologues.
This is something he’s been practicing in the shower for years. He just needed an opportunity
"FFS IM GUILTY, OKAY? JUST MAKE HIM STOP"
Or he could pull one nice filibuster as a politician. Then again people may mistake him with Ben Shapiro while in politics
He'd bore and disinterest a jury with the irrelevant drifts. Nahhhhh
However if I were on that jury, I'd be living.
Defendant: ok I'm guilty just please stop talking.
Actually really appreciated that Conan recognised the performance of Schlansky and "kind of" gave him props. Schlansky segments are the BEST!!!!
This guy's an actor, it's a role, he deserves a raise and won't ever get fired ! :)
I mean he friggin ad-libbed all of that, so yeah, he does deserve a compliment :D
no, he's a producer on the show and he's actually like that.
Schlansky improvised this. And this is the only improvised speech ive ever heard that was 100% correct in everything it is conveying. Jordan is a genius. I wish all the best for his family and bloodline.
Further proof that Jordan is a real person and not playing a character
daxoze he is real...he is real...
now i'm convinced, he is real
actually i think this proves the opposite it proves hes just a great actor and everything with him and conan is scripted.
Well, it was revealed a long time ago that even though he's acting, he's basically playing a magnified version of himself.
But he smiles and brakes character in the couples counselling video.
He just had a 6 minute monologue of nonstop talking, that’s impressive
It could look impressive if you are not married, or have never made your wife mad - 6 minutes are rookie numbers.
If he wasn't talking it wouldn't be a monologue.
I think Conan accidentally started listening, realized he’d listened too long to interrupt in a way that made sense comedically, and figured, well, let’s see how far he can take this.
No. He was waiting for Jordan to finish his lines so he could say his.
That's literally what Conan tells us in the video.
The queue card didn't say for Conan to interrupt Jordan's speech, so he just waited.
It's all in the video. Conan told us exactly what he thought.
I think Conan had a stroke
@@arnonroyna4420 yeah, that was his defense, but what if? Let people have an imagination, man!
@@Polydueces Can't. It's our duty as adults to stomp the imagination out of young people. Mine was crushed long ago. Now, I spend my days crushing the imagination of others.
Have you heard the truth about Santa Claus?
How about the tooth fairy?
If you got a minute I can tell you all about them. 😃
@@arnonroyna4420 Well, not to be a grammar nazi or anything but as long as we're being adults, it's cue card, not queue.
He basically verbally dictated an essay about film as an art form on the fly. I wish I had that ability for my sociology essay due this week
word.
True. But I think he has been mentally rehearsing this SW analysis for decades.
@@SniffyPooidk about rehearsing but definitely seems like he’s thought about it, probably a lot since he feels so strongly.
@@fennec8896People still think he's a gimmick lol
Never seen Conan remain silent for so long
scripts and editing
It was interesting hearing what Jordan had to say
@@inathescem no script or editing
He does that when he is on his bed *wink*
He went brain dead
As a Dutch person - I'm impressed with Jordan's dedication to pronouncing Van Gogh's name in a Dutch way.
Jeetje, wat heb jij een korte naam. I'm also impressed, Ben!
Next time you dutch people could try to pull the potatoe out of your mouths and speak normally, would make it easier to understand for the rest of us.
Don't respond to that comment, Ben. It's probably a trap...
I on the other hand I'm consistantly impressed by Dutch people, for their high level of education, command of so many languages and beautiful people. Not so much for their colonial past, but then again no country was perfect.
I agree, it's a great country! I'm an immigrant and I couldn't ask for a better life here!
This dude seriously needs a podcast, I could listen to him for hours... no joke.
sucksqueezebangblow agreed
Would be really interesting.
Yes i want him to be mai daddy!!! I might become Einstein!!
I agree with you that his snobby attitude really makes for an amazing comedic character. However I think he's not really considering it bullshit and even though he maybe unaware of normal social cues people usually follow, I think a lot of those things he says actually make sense and he really believes in them. But at some level he must understand that it's just weird to give an overly long answer like that. But he is an enigmatic character to say the least...
totally agree! mesmerizing!
Jordan is the only person who can settle down Conan with words. You can tell he respects him and could chat with him for hours while only saying a few words.
I forgot he was talking about Star Wars half way through
didnt we all
Narcous star trek
Jordan waited his entire life for someone to ask him why Star Wars is better than Star Trek. Jordan is rainman. Beyond awesome the way his brain works. Very deep empath.
Rainman was autistic. Jordan shows few real asd symptoms.
@@kenthomson9562 i think he might actually be on the lower end of the spectrum - scripted or not
@@DiabolicaLuke Yeah, it's obvious his brain works on a higher ''round-per-minute'' than that of an average joe.
Jordan is actually wise.....
he is so wise he dosent stop for a second to remember something Wow
Tigon people think hes smart
But he uses all his intellegence to think about star wars and products?
That seems pretty stupid to me
Implying he only thinks about Star Wars and grooming products just because his clips on a comedy talk show highlight that part of his interests LUL
you realize that all the digressing/branching off he did demonstrates the diversity of his knowledge. It's made more impressive that he can relate all that to Star Wars.
talha tariq
what? all his...? what?
Stepan Rebik did i spell "intelligence" wrong or sumfin
I like that even Jordan was waiting for Conan to comedically interrupt him. There's a few pauses that Jordan makes, almost like he's trying to cue Conan to stop the bit. He even obviously runs out of steam, which is why he goes on a wild tangent about stadiums. And I also love that when the crew are giggling at how long this has been going on, Conan occasionally gives them a side-eye, like he's actually invested in what Jordan is saying.
This dude needs his own Podcast. ..
People would confuse it by thinking it was an actual transmission with an alien from another universe
AttilatheThrilla 😂
The podcast would be 2 years long
Lyrics:
Well Star Trek is gounded in our own frame of reference, and as such suffers from the limits of our own trite reality. In fact Star Wars delves more into the worlds of fantasy and mythology and such as on some universal mythological s-themes that have been present across humanity f-since the beginning of time, you'll find that most cultures on earth share a common mythology in fact (uh) the Greek Odysseus was known as Ulysses in Rome (uh), the Greek Zeus was known as Jupiter in Rome, the Greek Poseidon was known as Neptune in Rome. And you're talking about a story of a young farm boy from the middle of nowhere that goes up against a great oppressor. And this story is common in a lot of mythologies such as Davy and Goliath, and you'll find again that this touches a core human emotion that we all need to explore through a fantasy world those concepts which we can-n-not achieve in our own reality world. Now on another note I find that the (uh) universal world wide acceptance of Star Wars is also grounded in this commonality that we all share, instead of being limited through one frame of reference, through one focal point, we can see things f-in a cross-cultural manner if you will. And in fact, to expand on that a little bit, I think that (uh) you'll find that (uhh) the Star Wars universe is relatable for any culture on earth, any economic standing, any financial standing on earth, because again we're talking about themes that are core to the concept of humanity in general and emotional. Furthermore, I can tell you that the types of things that you're talking about in Star Trek are limited towards a certain set of circumstances that it exists in, almost a two-dimensional plane. Where in Star Wars you're really exploring different feelings about humanity; (uh) happiness, sadness, all the (uh) various spectrum of the human existence. And I find that even though you're talking about characters that are often not human, we as human beings can identify through their struggles and you'll find that g-most great storytelling has to deal with a protagonist, an ordinary person up against extraordinary odds. And I think that if you look at the literature across the history of recorded time, you'll find that a lot of the greatest stories have followed that same theme. The storyline is almost unimportant because you're talking about grand themes here about human achievement when faced with unlikely odds. And furthermore, I can tell you that (uh) beyond that, it's something that we can all agree upon, it is all (uh) something we can all identify with. And relatability, I'm sure you know as (uh) someone that works in the storytelling world, is a concept that (uh) is necessary to i-have an audience invest themselves in the story that you're telling. (uhm) I'll also tell you that the (uh) Star Wars universe (gulp) while on some level is very exotic had (uh) a musical soundtrack grounded in 19th century romantic music. And in fact, I can relate Star Wars, the appeal of it, toward some of the great impressionist paintings like the (uh) Dutch Van Gogh, because (uh) his paintings although not (uh) photographic if you will or photorealistic, (uh) inspired our own imagination to latch on to the concepts present in the painting. And for example if you look at (uh) Van Gogh's (uh) Starry Night you'll see that (uh) again, while it doesn't necessarily look exactly like a city and stars and the wind blowing through the trees, you can feel the feeling of what it was like to be in that situation. You know, unlike looking at a photograph which, again, gives you that two-dimensional representation, a split-second, micro-second, in time if we will and-and-and as y-anyone knows that's had a bad photograph taken of them a split second in time doesn't often represent the whole picture. However, when (uh) when you're talking about the idea of a painting and certainly an oil painting, an impressionist oil painting, you're not necessarily capturing all the minute details, you're capturing a feeling. Now how do you put a feeling down on canvas, how do you put a feeling down on the screen? Well that's the job of the artistic storyteller and in fact (uh) the storyteller in this case took his own human emotions, his own-m human struggles and that of others and put them into a fantastic circumstance which none of us could have possibly experienced yet can all take pride in, relate to. Again, the young struggling farm boy wanting to be a part of (unintelligible). Now these are things that were touched upon in 1976's Rocky, I'm talking about the original Rocky. It wasn't about winning the fight, that movie is not a boxing movie, that movie is about an ordinary guy placed in extraordinary circumstances. A guy- he was the underdog you know, and other common concepts you find in a lot of literature, he was the underdog that wanted to make good. All he wanted to do was go the distance. He wanted to make it to the Philadelphia Spectrum, it probably has some corporate branded name now, but at the time, 1976, w-shot 1975, it was called a Philadelphia Spectrum. T-these theaters and arenas, amphitheaters, had real names back then (uh) you know. I think Fenway Park is still named as such, Candlestick Park I'm sure has been renamed. I don't really follow sports myself but I've heard these terms said and I know that a lot of the (uh) original, like Shea Stadium I think it's like Citibank Field or something. But (ahem) that's not really relevant to what I'm talking about here but (uuh) interesting nevertheless. (ah-uh) However (uhm) what I'm saying is that (uh) for an artist to accurately portray a feeling (uh) on film or s-a canvas or whatever the medium, I mean you could be talking about a mound of clay, really the artistic medium is irrelevant. When a singer gets up and sings y-you don't care about the vocal cords vibrating at certain frequencies, you're trying to take part in or relate to a certain feeling that that artist is trying to convey. When a sculptor takes a look at a hunk of mud and clears away certain sections to make this great monolith of art, again it's not about the (uh) minerals that are present in the mud, it's about the feeling that you're trying to convey.
*standing ovation*
Lmao
there's no way adderall had no part in this
Cocaine is a hell of a drug!
Break it up into paragraphs for crying out loud.
I love that Conan commended him on his performance. Positive feedback is so nice to experience. ❤️
Even when being fired.
@Miguel Deer Dude, cringe. No. Please.
@@uku4171 Dude, cringe. No. Please.
But it wasn’t a performance, he was just talking... Albeit there was probably some minimal prep or retouch on ideas involved.
He had to..its kind of situation in Karate Kid where it doesnt matter if you win or loose, its that you earn respect of your opponents
This went from Conan trying to goof on Jordan again, to him accidentally listening and becoming genuinely interested in what Jordan was talking about. We can make fun of him all we want, but Jordan definitely knows his stuff. It's fascinating.
how do you know Conan was genuinely listening to him lmao
@@mikays7059 because he let him go on for 7 minutes
Conan died.
The more I listen to Jordan the more he makes sense
That goes for just about any human bean
He makes perfect sense. It's not about what is said but its context.
@@LWT1331 Exactly!
@@LWT1331 Nailed it.
And if you watch Jordan, the longer he's allowed to talk the more he gets into what he's talking about and he uses his hands and body more
Jordan just ted talk conan 😄
LOL!
HAHA
LOL here have this W
This is the first Jordan Schlansky in SOOOO LONG!
TheViperOrton45 too long. miss them.
TheViperOrton45 like honestly I've watched all of them way toooo often... we need more Jordan 😭😩
Jordan is brilliant. I love that Conan acknowledged his amazing performance.
Jordan would have been so good in school if he forgot to do his PowerPoint presentation
Tom Davis lol yes he would
hI co Yh of course, they were doing rehearsals at the time but still doesn't take away the fact at how good it was
😂 he could completely fake his way through school by talking like that if he wanted.
Even if rehearsed it's pretty damn impressive :P
He's the master of bullshitting
Word count was never a problem for Jordan..
Ofcourse it was his master was 15 pages too long
was a problem for me tho
I wish i had this power
Making friends was.
Yea he's repeating same phrase with different wording. I need him for my essays...
I love the fact that they play it out, almost to exasperation, without wrapping it up for a quick laugh. That's what makes it brilliant.
After 30 seconds to a Minute he started struggling for a bit and was awaiting the cut of but after realising it wouldnt happen he went all out.
What a man
“That’s not really relevant to what I’m talking about here, but uuhhhh… interesting nevertheless.” 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
I feel like he was thinking of his next rant during that one lmao
2:15, when he says "to expand on that" he was possibly trying to improvise the whole speech since he expected of Conan to stop him and has chosen such words, however Conan was unaware of his line in this outtake which made Jordan create a masterpiece that was improvised. Jordan is brutally intelligent.
Ivan Obradović The explanation is literally in the video itself lol
What? It's clearly not improvised. It's funny you think he improvised a six minutes long speech instead of thinking that maybe that's the way he actually is.
@@TheJimLahey I mean, only 30 seconds of it was Star Wars. The other 5 and a half minutes were him drawing comparisons - the last two minutes in particular especially show the improvisation because he's fully gone entirely from the original point or subject matter itself.
Amazing... Just superb... Jordan is so eloquent, smart, interesting and has great command over the language.. it's beautiful to watch it over and over again.. even if it were a script, it's still very impressive to memorize it all and if it isn't then he's just a genius of a man! 🔥♥️
I like how Conan keeps looking annoyed with Jordan the whole time 😂
It's amazing how he sneaks in these little details that are 100% correct (like Rocky being made in 1975 and released in 1976).
really? I missed this part but was Rocky really made in 75. Because I there is this famous line in Taxi Driver "are you talking to me?" and Rocky is saying basically the same in the ring before the fight. I was wondering if it was homage or something
@@nauskas Same year. Taxi Driver lost to Rocky in the Oscar's for best picture I believe.
It's the main idea of the speech that is amazing, not the details. And certainly not the ones as trivial as these.
@@alexanderdean8682 nope.
There should be a show "keeping up with Jordan schlansky"
the silly panda army There should be.
I don't know if anyone could keep up with Jordan Schlansky 🙃
Nobody would watch it
That show would be awesome
Keeping up with the Schlanskys
Conan is a life changer. The times he made me laugh while facing heavy difficulties in my life. I salute you Conan! Peace out from Cape Town, South Africa.
Awe hope you're doing good during these harder times bort
@@Gabzilla19 All good dude, a walk in the park. Hope you are well and safe.
me too, especially jordan and conan
@Alaska Pirates Thanks for the message. To be honest he was actually quite last on my list of other TV presenters although I knew nothing about him. Until one day I decided to have a look and oh boy what a start to a crazy relationship. For the first time I guess I could say Chaos was now a friend, its just one big beautiful mess. All the best for your video making, I was actually thinking of doing the same.
@Alaska Pirates Are you thinking of starting your own channel? Have you started making videos already?
I love how you can see the moment Conan begins to become legitimately interested. He's nodding along and enjoying the dissertation
Jordan is the greatest guest in Conan history
He's Conan Executive Producer.
Simo Hyvarinen associate*
No that title goes to Timothy Olyphant
SuperJohn12354 no that title goes to Norm
Roland Bat lets expand on that. I declare it a thing.
I unironically enjoyed his "rambling"
I agree. It was actually pretty interesting
Same, this video and comment get a like from me.
It was pretty damn meaningful.
@@chukwudiilozue9171 I love you
Jordan should release an album with Eminem.
Jithin Wilson lol a very monotone album
Yea, this was equivalent to one of the best freestyles ever. So him and Eminem are great at spitting words off the top.
Yes, an album meant to be played before bedtime to lull the listener to sleep.
No Fixed Destination ha!!
You think this was off the top of his head? I thought it was scripted.
"I don't really follow sports but I've heard these terms said..." is the quote I relate to most from the entirety of this video lol
Nice to see Conan compliment Jordan. :)
Jon R agree with you ! :)
It was nice but very weird to hear those words come from Conan about Jordan.
Hey, I forgot I commented on this! Heh!
he clearly prepares his brain in various ways.
I was looking for a comment like this! 😂
Very much so
😂😂😂😂
Lmao, this is the best one among the various jokes people are commenting 😂
Conan should have said, "I zoned out a bit, can you repeat that again?"
@@MinkSubliminals it's hilarious
he would have repeated too.
he would give him a summary of what he just said except the summary is twice longer
Wes Thomas his was better
Conan woulda asked, but he knew Jordan woulda reapted
This is definitely stuff he has wanted to talk about for a long time. He has had all that in the back burner for a long time and is finally getting the opportunity to share it all.
yeah ive seen his collection of vader helmets. has to justify those purchases somehow
He must have killed communication class
Yeah, literally killed with boredom lol
To be honest i was thoroughly engrossed in what he was talking about
Wasnt boring at all, although he repeated similar statements several times, his whole speech was kinda hypnotic.
ArcticPoise its all about repetition and repeating a key idea or phrase
+Mr. Chip Whitley ...Well not everyone can understand him I guess.
That’s how you know this isn’t scripted. Nobody could remember so much bullsh*t.
Its Jordan wer're talking about here...
In the end conan points out it doesnt say to cut him off, he is referring to a script, obviously some of it wasnt but most of it was. Jordan said on a q&a on reddit that he does act like that but its exaggerated for conans show
Remember. Jordan was assembled in a freaking laboratory.
Those weren't bullshit.
Jordan's part was improvised.. just this time.. it usually is scripted.. that's why it was a master piece
Jordan's the guy you go to when you need to expand your essay to 5000 words.
And then he adds "That's not relevant to what I'm writing about" in the middle of the essay.
That look on Conan's face throughout Jordan's monologue was the look of a man who realizes that he has created a monster. 😂
If we don't get a Jordan Schlansky remote soon I'm gonna break someone's Millenium Falcon Lego set.
find me a millennial nerd with a death star set and i will happily join you in the destruction.
you are a deeply emotional man
Ivan Paligutan Conan in Italy
But what does he do?
yeah, Im gonna kill Han Solo by myself ohh wait... thank you Kylo Ren
"That's not really relevant to what I'm talking about here."
LOL
Interesting never the less
This was so hilarious. :-D
and Andy laughing his ass off in the background
Johnneh590 "I don't really fallow sports my self, but I've heard this terms said "
I snorted loudly at this
"Interesting; nevertheless..."
Man the struggle to keep going for 6 minutes straight... Schlansky is a boss XD
Not only that he's talking so fast too lol
What I love about Jordan is that you know he doesn’t try to be funny for these bits, he really just acts exactly the way he would in such a circumstance. He’d clearly thought this through before attentively, I believe it’s the same for every other trait he’s shown on the show. And yet he has the self awareness to act exactly the way he normally acts on stage and poke fun at it at the same time. It’s very clever
I think Conan's hair grew longer during this
the best comment
J. Ashkani his non existential beard grew
J. Ashkani Yeah, I think that's part of life
In the middle of coaching my wife through labor with the birth of our first child, saw a notification with Jordan Schlansky in the title, immediately clicked.
Lucas Good luck :)
You must now name him Jordan.
Easy Loan Society Ahahahahahahaha Mrs. Sylvia is a HIM? HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Am I the only one who actually felt informed?
I'm always up for Jordan's speeches
You should because he was talking about the theories of Joseph Campbell of the greatest minds of the 20th century.
He wrote the book Hero With A Thousand Faces. Introduced the Monomyth as well as the Hero's Journey. Any super freak Star Wars fan knows this stuff by heart.
For me, it was all in one ear and out the other. I recognized all of the words and could tell that someone was talking, but it was all just white noise.
He lost me after one second.
Yes, .....yes you are.
that was such a good speech lmao, it was so technically sound and intelligent. It was so easy to understand and no subjects or ideas were missed or forgotten in the speech.
If I was ever in a legal situation being held at court I would pay Jordan to filibuster the hell out of the court.
Thats not how courts work.
Youre thinking of congress. Youd be held in contempt in court
Bakers Field I was about to say... filibuster a law to congress. 🤣🤣🤣
That’s not how court works.
Urbn ink has a point, if you can filibuster the jury and cofuse them, than you can win cases. They say jurys can only pay attention for 40 minutes at a time.
That was the longest sentence ever spoken ever
theMike97_ 😙👌
In the history of the multiverse
Spock has spoken
do you even sentence tho?
theMike97_ lmao I legit used this for my argument essay.
I wish they let him talk for at least 5 times as long. I learned so much about earth and history and art just from him talking about his space-franchise preferences.
Even though I have the feeling that I'm somewhat obligated to feel irritated by Jordan, the only thing that comes to mind when he speaks is the fact that he's an incredibly eloquent man.
sammyver9 *alien
Omg same
Actually, eloquence is the quality of forceful or persuasive expressiveness. The interesting thing about that is the performer presents little to no expressiveness throughout his pseudo-soliloquy. Jordan Schlansky himself would attest to the very fact that he does not exhibit any eloquence in this perticular show of rather grandiloquence. Which when you think about it, clearly demonstrates the focal point and idea behind his character. Interestingly, that being one of an ostentatious stoic individual with idiosyncracies translated by this bouquet of grandiloquent speech, arcane personal culture and absence of microexpressions. Following this reasoning, your statement would lack any validity and would therefore not merit in the likes obtained.
Scotty Boy Jordan?
It’s a script. Anyone can sound like that after some ELSE wrote it and had them practice saying it.
Oh no, it's happened again, I need to go to sleep but I'm caught in another Conan binge
same here haha
Same here for 4 hrs straight..: /
@@deepz513 One more, just one more clueless gamer lol
me too
come on, it's only 1.44
you can watch another one hour 🙂😜🤪
Writing essay is hard, its too long
Jordan: *hold my espresso*
Writing essay is easy. You know what's not easy? Writing essay with citations.
More like hold my extra virgin olive oil
P.S. you stooe this comment
The fact that Jordan could keep that up for 6 minutes straight tells me he’s absolutely not faking, and is actually like that.
That was actually pretty impressive.
I see Jordan Schlansky, I click!
*like
I see comment referencing Jordan Schlansky, I like.
monkeydluffypvp Shanks you're a simple man
true that... :D
If Spock cosplayed a human, he’d be Jordan Schlansky.
Barista: To go or for here?
Jordan: Talks about mythology, 19th century romantic music, impressionists and mud for 6 minutes.
If he actually improvised this, then god bless this man
Yes, there is never a script with Jordan. Conan still can't believe the guy exists.
He must write a mean essay.
WuzNab
hahaha teachers nightmare
An essay would require him to also give the other point of view. I'm not sure he has it in him.