Scraps: Jordan Schlansky's Masterpiece | CONAN on TBS

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  • Опубликовано: 4 фев 2025

Комментарии • 9 тыс.

  • @isaiahkelly8161
    @isaiahkelly8161 4 года назад +4433

    This is all jordan has ever wanted. To be heard without interruption

    • @wump9066
      @wump9066 3 года назад +43

      @Cynthia May superiority complex much?

    • @TheOnlyRealGamerOnEarth
      @TheOnlyRealGamerOnEarth 3 года назад +8

      @Cynthia May lol nerd

    • @AM-ry8is
      @AM-ry8is 3 года назад +12

      finally the recognition he deserves

    • @saurabhjain9785
      @saurabhjain9785 3 года назад +1

      You have a very good name..... Isaiah

    • @stopmotionpro233
      @stopmotionpro233 3 года назад +1

      @Cynthia May so than by logic greater than humanity itself it is proven that star wars> star trek

  • @mitchbalkaran5655
    @mitchbalkaran5655 3 года назад +5835

    This is what Jordan meant by "I have various duties and responsibilities"

    • @elvinowe
      @elvinowe 3 года назад +22

      lol brilliant

    • @juliewynn2093
      @juliewynn2093 3 года назад +9

      ROFLMAO! 😂

    • @SansAziza
      @SansAziza 3 года назад +4

      Wonderfully said.

    • @JMusar795
      @JMusar795 2 года назад +3

      Yes 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @ob15027
      @ob15027 Год назад

      Special Forces!

  • @sigmagaming1234
    @sigmagaming1234 5 лет назад +5488

    I think this is the longest time Conan has ever gone without speaking

    • @ifalone
      @ifalone 4 года назад +19

      what about all those other times when conan had to listen to jordan?

    • @kbrock9146
      @kbrock9146 4 года назад +145

      @@ifalone he has NEVER let Jordan talk this long before without incident

    • @cammeelia2815
      @cammeelia2815 4 года назад +10

      Elias Beachman Really? Have you seen ‘Jordan Schlanskys Long-Winded Tour of Italy’ ?

    • @julius3868
      @julius3868 4 года назад +45

      @@cammeelia2815 however that video consisted of different scenes. This video consist of just one scene where Jordan talks for the entire time

    • @christopherleveck6835
      @christopherleveck6835 4 года назад +6

      He looks like hes been hypnotized.

  • @jakekamahele5538
    @jakekamahele5538 Год назад +1191

    I know Conan and Jordan are friends and Jordan has been with Conan for a long time. I know this was meant to be a gag, but the fact that Conan didn’t cut him off and kept it going and also complimented him for his words was actually very heartfelt. I hope Conan and Jordan stay friends forever. They’ve brought me a lot of happiness in my life.

    • @Yomahagava
      @Yomahagava Год назад +44

      They will stay friends forever because for some reason I can sense from their conversations they are really really good friends

    • @ishtisikder539
      @ishtisikder539 Год назад +24

      How old are you guys ?

    • @paulsteen7641
      @paulsteen7641 10 месяцев назад +2

      @@ishtisikder539😂

    • @mrkoala2824
      @mrkoala2824 9 месяцев назад +3

      I wonder how Jimmy Fallon would act in that situation…

    • @CJT49
      @CJT49 9 месяцев назад +1

      ​@ishtisikder539 tf does that have to do with anything?

  • @Redeemer216
    @Redeemer216 6 лет назад +7783

    I like how Jordan basically comes out and presents his graduate thesis.

    • @ironmantis25
      @ironmantis25 6 лет назад +159

      His argument sounds very similar to Jordan Peterson's analysis on the Lion King.

    • @TheVansar
      @TheVansar 5 лет назад +128

      @@ironmantis25 Too bad only one Jordan learned the importance of cleaning his bloody room.

    • @silverfritzreah5598
      @silverfritzreah5598 5 лет назад +6

      i hope i could borrow him to write mine

    • @dadrian
      @dadrian 5 лет назад +6

      Actually his speech is pretty close to my master thesis

    • @dadrian
      @dadrian 5 лет назад +1

      @taher tufenkeji This is closer to a summary of the thesis: ruclips.net/video/kS5XRsHh6vU/видео.html

  • @IsaacsCOOLwhenitsHOT
    @IsaacsCOOLwhenitsHOT 5 лет назад +13269

    Proof that Jordan Schlansky is an improvisational genius

    • @hbfjkxjnfnf9032
      @hbfjkxjnfnf9032 5 лет назад +243

      He is an alien or robot

    • @TazTalksYouListen
      @TazTalksYouListen 5 лет назад +13

      @@probablynotabigtoe9407 - I want to know what a videosy is.

    • @jarensonger2501
      @jarensonger2501 5 лет назад +154

      I believe it's a part of why he was hired for his position

    • @probablynotabigtoe9407
      @probablynotabigtoe9407 5 лет назад +114

      @@jarensonger2501 He is a producer... Not 1 part of his job description explains that.

    • @hexus9198
      @hexus9198 5 лет назад +3

      Pat, i'd like an "N"

  • @RebelleGameOfficial
    @RebelleGameOfficial 6 лет назад +8084

    Im wondering if Jordan does this, when his wife asks what he wants for dinner

  • @sanctifiedandsaved5298
    @sanctifiedandsaved5298 Год назад +700

    What's so scary is that Jordan is actually being very articulate - even though none of us care what he's talking about, he actually does and that's what makes this so much more funny.

    • @iAnasazi
      @iAnasazi Год назад +1

      scary = funny, got it

    • @nickberkawitz6451
      @nickberkawitz6451 Год назад +21

      I think Jordan is a high functioning person with autism. He is insanely passionate and knowledgeable about very specific things like Italy, Japan, Star Wars etc. and gets offended when Conan doesn't take it seriously. He is probably a very good producer because he is so detail oriented and focused. He seems to have trouble with social cues and eye contact.

    • @harrasika
      @harrasika Год назад +32

      ​@@nickberkawitz6451 maybe he has autism, maybe he doesn't. But it is obviously an exaggerated caricature of himself that he's playing in most of the show. To me, he always seems to understand social cues perfectly fine to create the funniest situation possible by ignoring them completely. Perhaps you have autism for not being able to realize this? So many mysteries!

    • @zakaria2664
      @zakaria2664 Год назад +7

      I care.

    • @DannyDeVito-p5y
      @DannyDeVito-p5y 11 месяцев назад +8

      Its funny you say that "none of us care".......

  • @wildsmiley
    @wildsmiley 7 лет назад +4893

    The best part is where he pronounced Van Gogh correctly in Dutch.

    • @jeremywellbaum5819
      @jeremywellbaum5819 7 лет назад +74

      Thanks to QI, I too was impressed!

    • @jeannytse2654
      @jeannytse2654 7 лет назад +129

      4:08

    • @FrshChees91
      @FrshChees91 7 лет назад +120

      Expect nothing less from Jordan Schlanskey

    • @barb7124
      @barb7124 6 лет назад +60

      I thought he cleared his throat

    • @MrORZ1000
      @MrORZ1000 5 лет назад +4

      video doesn't match voice, it looks edited. 3:55

  • @moiznahmad
    @moiznahmad 6 лет назад +2485

    I'm now convinced that Jordan's "various tasks" mainly consist of having a monologue prepared for every conceivable topic. It's the on-going herculean effort to be so well-prepared for "various" subjects.

    • @jojob.9689
      @jojob.9689 6 лет назад +44

      Lol he always does. Like he could have did the exact same that he did for this, but for coffee, and it would of actually gone on for hours instead. That must be why his Office is so discombobulated, because he has no time to organize it, but every second of his time is dedicated to studying the most mundane thing(s) lol.

    • @永続的な改善若い
      @永続的な改善若い 6 лет назад +24

      He's like a battle rapper

    • @DankSi
      @DankSi 6 лет назад +5

      @burteriksson lol rap is not all about rhymes, it's about presenting knowledge and relevance in a relatable way. In that way he was very much like a battle rapper

    • @ΓιάννηςΓεωργόπουλος-ζ6σ
      @ΓιάννηςΓεωργόπουλος-ζ6σ 6 лет назад +1

      He is a smart dude witn a great memory.

    • @iriang.a.9209
      @iriang.a.9209 6 лет назад +4

      @burteriksson r/iamverysmart

  • @pravakarpatra5132
    @pravakarpatra5132 5 лет назад +873

    I loved how no one, not even Andy, tried to intervene or interrupt Jordan's speech...They all knew this was pure magic to be enjoyed up to its full extent...This nerve-wracking moment of television brought to you by Mr. Jordan Schlansky...

    • @rwilson7197
      @rwilson7197 4 года назад +23

      I loved how he could make sense that long

    • @Ashbash-kf5xd
      @Ashbash-kf5xd 4 года назад +13

      Conan looks like he just woke up through this whole thing. Lmao

    • @Trevor_M_F
      @Trevor_M_F 4 года назад

      Poor guy

    • @brosifstalin415
      @brosifstalin415 4 года назад +3

      @@Ashbash-kf5xd I bet he absorbed most of it honestly.

    • @rildank5557
      @rildank5557 3 года назад

      You are so right !

  • @RobRuiz805
    @RobRuiz805 3 года назад +481

    First time I've seen Conan break character and give Jordan a sincere compliment for going 6 minutes straight improv

  • @cammanca23
    @cammanca23 4 года назад +3165

    putting this through MLA format, Jordan just improvised the equivalent of a four page essay on why star wars is better than star trek on the spot

    • @hlakbrlighthouse1835
      @hlakbrlighthouse1835 4 года назад +120

      Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

    • @chukwudiilozue9171
      @chukwudiilozue9171 4 года назад +45

      And he did it really well.

    • @brentaleman9701
      @brentaleman9701 4 года назад

      ruclips.net/video/rmRouEds_2A/видео.html

    • @almerindaromeira8352
      @almerindaromeira8352 4 года назад +63

      I don't know, in some parts he is rephrasing the same argument. Let's say those were 5 solid minutes of unique writable argumentation of which at least other 2 were tangents on painting and sport center names

    • @LemonToGo
      @LemonToGo 4 года назад +1

      @Scuffed Paul Denino ruclips.net/video/GM-e46xdcUo/видео.html

  • @jrbisc99
    @jrbisc99 5 лет назад +4848

    This is funny but it also shows that Jordan Schlansky is borderline genius. He has a wealth of knowledge and is able to expound on it at length. That's pretty impressive.

    • @KhanhNguyen-rf2nf
      @KhanhNguyen-rf2nf 5 лет назад +237

      I think he is a genius in terms of his knowledge about various cultures and traditions, not to mention his vast knowledge about science. He really is a well rounded genius. Either that or he practices off screen a lot 😂

    • @bf5655
      @bf5655 5 лет назад +226

      It’s crazy how he just keeps going and he doesn’t stutter or anything

    • @scotsman6712
      @scotsman6712 5 лет назад +30

      Sheldon Cooper in real life.

    • @drewmandan
      @drewmandan 5 лет назад +53

      @Josh Hannon No he's not.

    • @ricarleite
      @ricarleite 5 лет назад +30

      I would watch an interview show with Jordan and intelligent guests.

  • @ya__basic
    @ya__basic 7 лет назад +3713

    And he's NOT reading from a teleprompter! That's Jordan Schlansky for you.

    • @wisdomleader85
      @wisdomleader85 7 лет назад +82

      We should see him as a living robot.

    • @OllihuAkbar
      @OllihuAkbar 7 лет назад +152

      his mind is a teleprompter

    • @folarinosibodu
      @folarinosibodu 7 лет назад +24

      He is magnificent. improvising?

    • @Alex_1729
      @Alex_1729 7 лет назад +4

      Shruti Singh still hasn't said much.

    • @BuakawPorAdi
      @BuakawPorAdi 7 лет назад +10

      that's talent!

  • @bearthezooescapee2439
    @bearthezooescapee2439 3 года назад +125

    This is actually beautiful. I love seeing people express love of their passion no matter if I share the passion or not its just a thing I appreciate. On top of all that Jordan is a very articulate speaker and what he's saying actually has meaning which is very impressive especially to someone like me who can't even form an entire sentence at almost 20 years of age. Genuinely fascinating.

  • @DrivenDoor
    @DrivenDoor 4 года назад +1167

    He just kept talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt, it was really quite hypnotic.

    • @DarthRushy
      @DarthRushy 3 года назад +10

      Great quote

    • @Pearlmania500
      @Pearlmania500 3 года назад +12

      I know that reference.

    • @Locomamonk
      @Locomamonk 3 года назад +8

      * CUE THE MUSIC!! U S S...

    • @DLZ2000
      @DLZ2000 3 года назад +23

      And that is why Star Trek is better than Star Wars.

    • @redlion909
      @redlion909 3 года назад +9

      I understand this reference and im happy

  • @christopheroleary1452
    @christopheroleary1452 5 лет назад +2016

    I know the whole Jordan Schlansky character is a satire, but even if he wouldn't be so deadpan in real life, for him to come up with that essay on art off the cuff, they've got to be real thoughts swirling inside his head somewhere. He must be really intelligent to pull that off, especially considering he didn't expect to continue for nearly as long.

    • @justmax1834
      @justmax1834 5 лет назад +118

      well he said himself that this character is just an exaggerated version of his true self

    • @degeneracyeverywhere
      @degeneracyeverywhere 5 лет назад +7

      JustMax do you have a source of where he said this?

    • @DiabolicaLuke
      @DiabolicaLuke 5 лет назад +3

      @@degeneracyeverywhere i guess his reddit

    • @TheStoffl96
      @TheStoffl96 5 лет назад +31

      To me it is just sad that everyone is so baffled about his words even though he didn't say anything special. Shows how the public cares less and less about the world and more and more about the individual.

    • @twojaStara698
      @twojaStara698 5 лет назад +2

      @@DiabolicaLuke he have reddit account? Src?

  • @UndedDisfunction
    @UndedDisfunction 4 года назад +1226

    The length he went on for without an "eh" or "uh" is astounding. A real gem they have there.

    • @DeathBringer769
      @DeathBringer769 3 года назад +14

      I caught an "um" at around 6:02, and then an "uh" at around 6:05 shortly after, but yea, he barely used any of those fillers words/sounds at all. Pretty impressive.

    • @InnerDness
      @InnerDness 3 года назад +46

      He said "in fact" and "I'll tell you" and "however" and "now". My guess is that he went to a public speaking or motivational speaking course because one of the things they tell you is to never say "uh" or "like" because it sounds unauthoritative. Saying things like "I'll tell you" sounds like a definitive and dynamic when really it means nothing and achieves the same purpose of filling the silence between brain and mouth as "um"

    • @victorseaweed
      @victorseaweed 3 года назад +3

      He actually says it alot. Maybe 10+ times but it is buried within alot of words.

    • @fadedgabe791
      @fadedgabe791 3 года назад

      2 minutes isn't that impressive

    • @celesbianmegastar
      @celesbianmegastar 3 года назад

      He said uh at 6:05

  • @breakfastplan4518
    @breakfastplan4518 3 года назад +30

    Schlansky improvised this. And this is the only improvised speech ive ever heard that was 100% correct in everything it is conveying. Jordan is a genius. I wish all the best for his family and bloodline.

  • @SQUIRTGANG
    @SQUIRTGANG 6 лет назад +2082

    Conan knew that he was witnessing a truly legendary performance. Whether it was 100% scripted, pure imrpov, or a mixture of scripted and improv, this is incredible. He doesnt even pause!

    • @gravityhypernova
      @gravityhypernova 6 лет назад +77

      I think everyone who sees this as bullshitting or scripted has never attended a post secondary lecture before, or even sat through a damned TED Talk.

    • @cornoc
      @cornoc 6 лет назад +70

      @@gravityhypernova i hope you realize lectures and TED talks (especially) are largely scripted speaking events... not to mention they don't usually match the pace at which Jordan threw words out of his mouth. skepticism is understandable, even though i believe Jordan can sling words like a boss.

    • @Drewvyy
      @Drewvyy 6 лет назад +28

      You ask anyone to talk about what they are most passionate about and I garuntee they can talk for ten minutes about it without stopping no problem.

    • @cornoc
      @cornoc 6 лет назад +10

      @@Drewvyy a careful thinker wouldn't necessarily want to ramble on without a theme or thesis in mind, sure they could talk for 10 minutes but might not have a prepared string of sentences on random aspects of whatever topic you asked them about

    • @anthonybethel1452
      @anthonybethel1452 5 лет назад +9

      burteriksson Wow you're arrogant.

  • @CornyOfficial
    @CornyOfficial 7 лет назад +1444

    Seriously, you can never have too much of Jordan Schlansky!

  • @carlf7307
    @carlf7307 7 лет назад +10371

    Here's Jordan's speech transcribed, and boy, is it long…
    Well, Star Trek is grand in our own frame of reference, and as such suffers from the limits of our own trite reality. In fact, Star Wars delves more into the world of fantasy and mythology, and touches on some universal mythological themes that have been present across humanity since the beginning of time, you'll find that most cultures on Earth share a common mythology, in fact the Greek Odysseus was known as Ulysses in Rome, the Greek Zeus was known as Jupiter in Rome, the Greek Poseidon was known as Neptune in Rome, and you're talking about of a young farm-boy from the middle of nowhere that goes up against a great oppressor, and this story is common a lot in mythology, such as Davey and Goliath, and you'll find again that this touches the core human emotion that we all need to explore through a fantasy world those constants which we cannot achieve in our own reality world. Now, on another note, I find that the, uh, universal worldwide acceptance of Star Wars is grounded in this commonality that we all share instead of being limited through one frame of reference, through one focal point, we can see things in a cross-cultural manner, if you will, and in fact, to expand on that a little bit, I think that you’ll find that the Star Wars Universe is relatable for any culture on Earth, any economic standing, any financial standing on Earth, because again, we’re talking about themes that are core to the concept of humanity in general and emotional. Furthermore, I can tell you that the types of themes that you’re talking about in Star Trek are limited towards a certain set of circumstances that exist in, almost a two-dimensional plane, where in Star Wars you’re really exploring different feelings about humanity, happiness, sadness, all of the various spectrum of the human existence, and I find that even though you are talking about characters that are often not human, we as human beings can identify through their struggles, and you’ll find that most great storytelling has to deal with a protagonist, an ordinary person up against extraordinary odds, and I think that if you look at the literature across the history of recorded time, you’ll find that a lot of the greatest stories have followed that same theme. The storyline is almost unimportant, because you’re talking about grand themes here, about human achievement when faced with unlikely odds, and furthermore I can tell you that beyond that, it’s something that we can all agree upon, it is all something we can all identify with, and relatability, I’m sure you know, as someone that works in the storytelling world, is a concept that is necessary to have an audience invest themselves into the story that you’re telling. I’ll also tell you that the Star Wars Universe, while on some level is very exotic, had a musical soundtrack grounded in nineteenth century romantic music, and in fact, I can relate Star Wars, the appeal of it, towards some of the great impressionist paintings like Dutch Van Gogh, because his paintings, although not photographic if you will, or photorealistic, inspired our own imagination to latch onto the concepts present in the painting, and for example, if you look at Van Gogh’s Starry Night, you’ll see that again, while it doesn’t necessarily look exactly like a city and stars, and the wind blowing through the trees, you can feel the feeling of what it was like to be in that situation. You know, unlike looking at a photograph, which again gives you that two-dimensional representation; a split second, a microsecond in time, if you will, and if anyone knows that’s had a bad photograph taken in a split second in time, doesn’t often represent the whole picture. However, when you’re talking about the idea of a painting, and certainly an oil painting, an impressionist oil painting, you’re not necessarily capturing all of the minute details, you’re capturing a feeling. Now, how do you put a feeling down on canvas? How do you put a feeling down on the screen? Well, that’s the job of the artistic storytelling, and in fact the storyteller in this case took his own human emotions, his own human struggles, and that of others, and put them into a fantastic circumstance, which none of us could have possibly experienced, yet, can all take pride in, relate to, again, the young, struggling farm-boy wanting to be part of a- now these are the things that were touched upon in 1976’s Rocky, I’m talking about the original Rocky; it wasn’t about winning the fight, that movie’s not a boxing movie, that movie is about an ordinary guy (Producers laugh) placed in extraordinary circumstances; a guy… he was the underdog, you know, another common concept you find in a lot of literature. He was the underdog that wanted to make a- -all he wanted to do was go the distance. He wanted to make it to the Philadelphia Spectrum. It probably has some corporate branded name now, but at the time in 1976, shot in 1975, it was called the Philadelphia Spectrum because theatres and arenas, amphitheaters, had real names back then, uhh, I think Fenway Park is still named as such Candlestick park, I’m sure it’s been renamed, I don’t really follow sports myself, but I’ve heard these terms said, and I know that a lot of the original, like Shea Stadium was like Citi Bank Field, or something, but (clears throat) that’s not really relevant to what I’m talking about here, but uuhhhh… interesting nevertheless. However, umm, what I’m saying is that for an artist to accurately portray a feeling on film or canvas, or whatever the medium; I mean, you could be talking about a mound of clay, really the artistic medium is irrelevant, and when a singer gets up and sings, you don’t care about the vocal cords vibrating at certain frequencies, you’re trying to take part in or relate to a certain feeling that that artist is trying to convey. When a sculptor takes a look at a hunk of mud and clears away certain sections to make this great monolith of art, again, it’s not about the minerals that are present in the mud, it’s about the feeling that you’re trying to convey.
    (Applause and laughter)
    Conan- You’re fired. Get the f*** out of here and never come back.

  • @jakeb6703
    @jakeb6703 3 года назад +204

    This is absolutely incredible and has single handedly convinced me that Jordan deserves whatever theyr paying him for whatever he does at this show

    • @kieran.grant_
      @kieran.grant_ 3 года назад +26

      I have it on good authority that he performs various tasks and/or duties.

    • @AlexColberg
      @AlexColberg Год назад +3

      Even if he doesn't do anything, I say still pay him the big money because he's a treasure anyway.

    • @justwondering1967
      @justwondering1967 Год назад +2

      @@AlexColberg Philosopher in residence.

  • @TheZuhaabtemuri
    @TheZuhaabtemuri 7 лет назад +1460

    The INSTANT I see Jordan Schlansky, I click.

  • @EvoQC
    @EvoQC 4 года назад +677

    He just had a 6 minute monologue of nonstop talking, that’s impressive

    • @viktorianas
      @viktorianas 3 года назад +7

      It could look impressive if you are not married, or have never made your wife mad - 6 minutes are rookie numbers.

    • @TransoceanicOutreach
      @TransoceanicOutreach 3 года назад +1

      If he wasn't talking it wouldn't be a monologue.

  • @madrussian5955
    @madrussian5955 6 лет назад +5055

    Teacher: "Prepare a 2000 word essay due next class"
    Jordan: "Hold my latte"

    • @akapo98
      @akapo98 6 лет назад +367

      Mad Russian He doesn't drink "lattes", the closest he can do is a cappuccino from Gambrinus, in Piazza del plebiscito in Naples

    • @1moe1
      @1moe1 6 лет назад +290

      hold my espresso

    • @VScott-uq1pj
      @VScott-uq1pj 5 лет назад +5

      Mad Russian I think he would just say I can get that to you after lunch teacher.

    • @VScott-uq1pj
      @VScott-uq1pj 5 лет назад +49

      Giovanni Barozzi hold my biscotti oh sorry biscotto (singular)

    • @peggydvj_
      @peggydvj_ 5 лет назад +15

      He drinks espresso.

  • @nayeebG
    @nayeebG Год назад +400

    Laugh all you want, Jordan is a genius. A man of various knowledge. A walking encyclopedia.

    • @Bubba603
      @Bubba603 Год назад

      Man a really he let of a rant like I’ve never seen

    • @Soberanos-i7t
      @Soberanos-i7t Год назад +1

      I like the guy in the background is the only one laughing lol

    • @bgill7475
      @bgill7475 Год назад +5

      Various knowledge and responsibilities.

    • @johnquintmatt1986
      @johnquintmatt1986 Месяц назад

      And 99% of it is mispronounced or wrong 😅

  • @FacheChanteDeux
    @FacheChanteDeux 4 года назад +2101

    Jordan should be a trial lawyer. He would wear any opponent down with his monologues.

    • @cadet526
      @cadet526 3 года назад +34

      This is something he’s been practicing in the shower for years. He just needed an opportunity

    • @TheMaster375
      @TheMaster375 3 года назад +32

      "FFS IM GUILTY, OKAY? JUST MAKE HIM STOP"

    • @ZachofPotatoes732
      @ZachofPotatoes732 3 года назад +8

      Or he could pull one nice filibuster as a politician. Then again people may mistake him with Ben Shapiro while in politics

    • @PandaNFriends23
      @PandaNFriends23 2 года назад +4

      He'd bore and disinterest a jury with the irrelevant drifts. Nahhhhh
      However if I were on that jury, I'd be living.

    • @timtags
      @timtags 2 года назад +4

      Defendant: ok I'm guilty just please stop talking.

  • @error404blah
    @error404blah 7 лет назад +3038

    This dude seriously needs a podcast, I could listen to him for hours... no joke.

    • @gsacki2010
      @gsacki2010 7 лет назад +9

      sucksqueezebangblow agreed

    • @CesarMartinez-wh9le
      @CesarMartinez-wh9le 7 лет назад +18

      Would be really interesting.

    • @qzoh5336
      @qzoh5336 7 лет назад +2

      Yes i want him to be mai daddy!!! I might become Einstein!!

    • @juuson
      @juuson 7 лет назад +24

      I agree with you that his snobby attitude really makes for an amazing comedic character. However I think he's not really considering it bullshit and even though he maybe unaware of normal social cues people usually follow, I think a lot of those things he says actually make sense and he really believes in them. But at some level he must understand that it's just weird to give an overly long answer like that. But he is an enigmatic character to say the least...

    • @angiepa58
      @angiepa58 7 лет назад +5

      totally agree! mesmerizing!

  • @megadestroyer454
    @megadestroyer454 5 лет назад +901

    Conan: I didn't know I was supposed to cut you off.
    Also Conan: I wanna see how long he can keep this up.

  • @NoName-vm1wf
    @NoName-vm1wf 3 года назад +50

    This is the clip that introduced me to Conan and his show. 3 years ago I had no idea who these guys were and somehow this clip was recommended to me. It was love at first sight and 3 years later I can say I've seen every single bit of Conan, Andy and Jordan. All legends! Thank you guys! Thank you!

    • @sofiesummerbradley
      @sofiesummerbradley Год назад

      You definitely need to listen to Conan’s podcast if you haven’t

  • @whatevs00
    @whatevs00 3 года назад +4684

    I think Conan accidentally started listening, realized he’d listened too long to interrupt in a way that made sense comedically, and figured, well, let’s see how far he can take this.

    • @arnonroyna4420
      @arnonroyna4420 3 года назад +221

      No. He was waiting for Jordan to finish his lines so he could say his.
      That's literally what Conan tells us in the video.
      The queue card didn't say for Conan to interrupt Jordan's speech, so he just waited.
      It's all in the video. Conan told us exactly what he thought.

    • @bfg3890
      @bfg3890 3 года назад +63

      I think Conan had a stroke

    • @Polydueces
      @Polydueces 3 года назад +56

      @@arnonroyna4420 yeah, that was his defense, but what if? Let people have an imagination, man!

    • @arnonroyna4420
      @arnonroyna4420 3 года назад +40

      @@Polydueces Can't. It's our duty as adults to stomp the imagination out of young people. Mine was crushed long ago. Now, I spend my days crushing the imagination of others.
      Have you heard the truth about Santa Claus?
      How about the tooth fairy?
      If you got a minute I can tell you all about them. 😃

    • @Polydueces
      @Polydueces 3 года назад +23

      @@arnonroyna4420 Well, not to be a grammar nazi or anything but as long as we're being adults, it's cue card, not queue.

  • @smartereveryday
    @smartereveryday 4 года назад +5536

    Um. This was incredible.

    • @phoenixnair
      @phoenixnair 4 года назад +74

      FYI, Turbulent flow is better!

    • @dsl1017
      @dsl1017 4 года назад +25

      How do u have 8million subs and only get 84likes

    • @amol.io7
      @amol.io7 4 года назад +15

      DaniedanDaniel because it was not a very interesting comment

    • @IIlIIlIIlII
      @IIlIIlIIlII 4 года назад +12

      Didn't know you were a fan of Conan! Sweet!

    • @CosminNeagu
      @CosminNeagu 4 года назад +18

      Proof that everybody enjoys their chemistry. Even SmarterEveryDay.

  • @Chicksquid
    @Chicksquid 7 лет назад +5091

    Jordan is actually wise.....
    he is so wise he dosent stop for a second to remember something Wow

    • @talhatariqyuluqatdis
      @talhatariqyuluqatdis 7 лет назад +31

      Tigon people think hes smart
      But he uses all his intellegence to think about star wars and products?
      That seems pretty stupid to me

    • @BedroomPianist
      @BedroomPianist 7 лет назад +242

      Implying he only thinks about Star Wars and grooming products just because his clips on a comedy talk show highlight that part of his interests LUL

    • @leesway
      @leesway 7 лет назад +163

      you realize that all the digressing/branching off he did demonstrates the diversity of his knowledge. It's made more impressive that he can relate all that to Star Wars.

    • @stepanrebik6335
      @stepanrebik6335 7 лет назад +3

      talha tariq
      what? all his...? what?

    • @talhatariqyuluqatdis
      @talhatariqyuluqatdis 7 лет назад +1

      Stepan Rebik did i spell "intelligence" wrong or sumfin

  • @spaghettioverlord3247
    @spaghettioverlord3247 3 года назад +160

    The fact that he was able to wrap it back on topic each time was insane. I thought he was fucked when he started talking about paintings but he brought it back flawlessly.

  • @BenGras
    @BenGras 7 лет назад +1287

    As a Dutch person - I'm impressed with Jordan's dedication to pronouncing Van Gogh's name in a Dutch way.

    • @OrisStories
      @OrisStories 7 лет назад +7

      Jeetje, wat heb jij een korte naam. I'm also impressed, Ben!

    • @admiralackbar6490
      @admiralackbar6490 7 лет назад +52

      Next time you dutch people could try to pull the potatoe out of your mouths and speak normally, would make it easier to understand for the rest of us.

    • @OrisStories
      @OrisStories 7 лет назад +50

      Don't respond to that comment, Ben. It's probably a trap...

    • @julesmo323
      @julesmo323 7 лет назад +22

      I on the other hand I'm consistantly impressed by Dutch people, for their high level of education, command of so many languages and beautiful people. Not so much for their colonial past, but then again no country was perfect.

    • @OrisStories
      @OrisStories 7 лет назад +9

      I agree, it's a great country! I'm an immigrant and I couldn't ask for a better life here!

  • @ekynokzyo
    @ekynokzyo 5 лет назад +5919

    Imagine being his wife and getting into an argument

    • @scottbrooklyn2995
      @scottbrooklyn2995 5 лет назад +122

      Imagine being my wife and being way to satisfied to argue

    • @MrSonicmjc
      @MrSonicmjc 5 лет назад +68

      @@scottbrooklyn2995 what are you on about?

    • @scottbrooklyn2995
      @scottbrooklyn2995 5 лет назад +46

      @@MrSonicmjc It's a joke. But I'm saying my wife is to sexually satisfied to argue with me

    • @jcmick8430
      @jcmick8430 5 лет назад +24

      @@scottbrooklyn2995 don't feel bad, he could never please Lenore

    • @nadiashireensiddiqi
      @nadiashireensiddiqi 5 лет назад +104

      He has brief conversations with his wife, tells her he’s going to Italy to romance himself.

  • @DenTodtsDo
    @DenTodtsDo 3 года назад +5329

    Lyrics:
    Well Star Trek is gounded in our own frame of reference, and as such suffers from the limits of our own trite reality. In fact Star Wars delves more into the worlds of fantasy and mythology and such as on some universal mythological s-themes that have been present across humanity f-since the beginning of time, you'll find that most cultures on earth share a common mythology in fact (uh) the Greek Odysseus was known as Ulysses in Rome (uh), the Greek Zeus was known as Jupiter in Rome, the Greek Poseidon was known as Neptune in Rome. And you're talking about a story of a young farm boy from the middle of nowhere that goes up against a great oppressor. And this story is common in a lot of mythologies such as Davy and Goliath, and you'll find again that this touches a core human emotion that we all need to explore through a fantasy world those concepts which we can-n-not achieve in our own reality world. Now on another note I find that the (uh) universal world wide acceptance of Star Wars is also grounded in this commonality that we all share, instead of being limited through one frame of reference, through one focal point, we can see things f-in a cross-cultural manner if you will. And in fact, to expand on that a little bit, I think that (uh) you'll find that (uhh) the Star Wars universe is relatable for any culture on earth, any economic standing, any financial standing on earth, because again we're talking about themes that are core to the concept of humanity in general and emotional. Furthermore, I can tell you that the types of things that you're talking about in Star Trek are limited towards a certain set of circumstances that it exists in, almost a two-dimensional plane. Where in Star Wars you're really exploring different feelings about humanity; (uh) happiness, sadness, all the (uh) various spectrum of the human existence. And I find that even though you're talking about characters that are often not human, we as human beings can identify through their struggles and you'll find that g-most great storytelling has to deal with a protagonist, an ordinary person up against extraordinary odds. And I think that if you look at the literature across the history of recorded time, you'll find that a lot of the greatest stories have followed that same theme. The storyline is almost unimportant because you're talking about grand themes here about human achievement when faced with unlikely odds. And furthermore, I can tell you that (uh) beyond that, it's something that we can all agree upon, it is all (uh) something we can all identify with. And relatability, I'm sure you know as (uh) someone that works in the storytelling world, is a concept that (uh) is necessary to i-have an audience invest themselves in the story that you're telling. (uhm) I'll also tell you that the (uh) Star Wars universe (gulp) while on some level is very exotic had (uh) a musical soundtrack grounded in 19th century romantic music. And in fact, I can relate Star Wars, the appeal of it, toward some of the great impressionist paintings like the (uh) Dutch Van Gogh, because (uh) his paintings although not (uh) photographic if you will or photorealistic, (uh) inspired our own imagination to latch on to the concepts present in the painting. And for example if you look at (uh) Van Gogh's (uh) Starry Night you'll see that (uh) again, while it doesn't necessarily look exactly like a city and stars and the wind blowing through the trees, you can feel the feeling of what it was like to be in that situation. You know, unlike looking at a photograph which, again, gives you that two-dimensional representation, a split-second, micro-second, in time if we will and-and-and as y-anyone knows that's had a bad photograph taken of them a split second in time doesn't often represent the whole picture. However, when (uh) when you're talking about the idea of a painting and certainly an oil painting, an impressionist oil painting, you're not necessarily capturing all the minute details, you're capturing a feeling. Now how do you put a feeling down on canvas, how do you put a feeling down on the screen? Well that's the job of the artistic storyteller and in fact (uh) the storyteller in this case took his own human emotions, his own-m human struggles and that of others and put them into a fantastic circumstance which none of us could have possibly experienced yet can all take pride in, relate to. Again, the young struggling farm boy wanting to be a part of (unintelligible). Now these are things that were touched upon in 1976's Rocky, I'm talking about the original Rocky. It wasn't about winning the fight, that movie is not a boxing movie, that movie is about an ordinary guy placed in extraordinary circumstances. A guy- he was the underdog you know, and other common concepts you find in a lot of literature, he was the underdog that wanted to make good. All he wanted to do was go the distance. He wanted to make it to the Philadelphia Spectrum, it probably has some corporate branded name now, but at the time, 1976, w-shot 1975, it was called a Philadelphia Spectrum. T-these theaters and arenas, amphitheaters, had real names back then (uh) you know. I think Fenway Park is still named as such, Candlestick Park I'm sure has been renamed. I don't really follow sports myself but I've heard these terms said and I know that a lot of the (uh) original, like Shea Stadium I think it's like Citibank Field or something. But (ahem) that's not really relevant to what I'm talking about here but (uuh) interesting nevertheless. (ah-uh) However (uhm) what I'm saying is that (uh) for an artist to accurately portray a feeling (uh) on film or s-a canvas or whatever the medium, I mean you could be talking about a mound of clay, really the artistic medium is irrelevant. When a singer gets up and sings y-you don't care about the vocal cords vibrating at certain frequencies, you're trying to take part in or relate to a certain feeling that that artist is trying to convey. When a sculptor takes a look at a hunk of mud and clears away certain sections to make this great monolith of art, again it's not about the (uh) minerals that are present in the mud, it's about the feeling that you're trying to convey.

  • @billyeveryteen7328
    @billyeveryteen7328 Год назад +27

    I like that even Jordan was waiting for Conan to comedically interrupt him. There's a few pauses that Jordan makes, almost like he's trying to cue Conan to stop the bit. He even obviously runs out of steam, which is why he goes on a wild tangent about stadiums. And I also love that when the crew are giggling at how long this has been going on, Conan occasionally gives them a side-eye, like he's actually invested in what Jordan is saying.

  • @majicraven
    @majicraven 6 лет назад +810

    Jordan waited his entire life for someone to ask him why Star Wars is better than Star Trek. Jordan is rainman. Beyond awesome the way his brain works. Very deep empath.

    • @kenthomson9562
      @kenthomson9562 5 лет назад +5

      Rainman was autistic. Jordan shows few real asd symptoms.

    • @DiabolicaLuke
      @DiabolicaLuke 5 лет назад +7

      @@kenthomson9562 i think he might actually be on the lower end of the spectrum - scripted or not

    • @santerisalmivuori3872
      @santerisalmivuori3872 5 лет назад +1

      @@DiabolicaLuke Yeah, it's obvious his brain works on a higher ''round-per-minute'' than that of an average joe.

  • @theabcab7539
    @theabcab7539 7 лет назад +2079

    There should be a show "keeping up with Jordan schlansky"

  • @ThugRammus
    @ThugRammus 5 лет назад +90

    After 30 seconds to a Minute he started struggling for a bit and was awaiting the cut of but after realising it wouldnt happen he went all out.
    What a man

  • @kristintripp967
    @kristintripp967 3 года назад +62

    Jordan is brilliant. I love that Conan acknowledged his amazing performance.

  • @donebeingbullied
    @donebeingbullied 5 лет назад +1814

    I love that Conan commended him on his performance. Positive feedback is so nice to experience. ❤️

    • @Triattt
      @Triattt 5 лет назад +64

      Even when being fired.

    • @santerisalmivuori3872
      @santerisalmivuori3872 5 лет назад +51

      @Miguel Deer Dude, cringe. No. Please.

    • @ultralinguistics3083
      @ultralinguistics3083 5 лет назад +14

      @@uku4171 Dude, cringe. No. Please.

    • @Cheese_Meister
      @Cheese_Meister 5 лет назад +2

      But it wasn’t a performance, he was just talking... Albeit there was probably some minimal prep or retouch on ideas involved.

    • @nikgokuhil
      @nikgokuhil 4 года назад +2

      He had to..its kind of situation in Karate Kid where it doesnt matter if you win or loose, its that you earn respect of your opponents

  • @Sethos_I
    @Sethos_I 7 лет назад +1242

    Never seen Conan remain silent for so long

  • @mzmz6308
    @mzmz6308 5 лет назад +760

    It's amazing how he sneaks in these little details that are 100% correct (like Rocky being made in 1975 and released in 1976).

    • @nauskas
      @nauskas 5 лет назад +8

      really? I missed this part but was Rocky really made in 75. Because I there is this famous line in Taxi Driver "are you talking to me?" and Rocky is saying basically the same in the ring before the fight. I was wondering if it was homage or something

    • @davidiniguez1930
      @davidiniguez1930 5 лет назад +4

      @@nauskas Same year. Taxi Driver lost to Rocky in the Oscar's for best picture I believe.

    • @alexanderdean8682
      @alexanderdean8682 5 лет назад

      It's the main idea of the speech that is amazing, not the details. And certainly not the ones as trivial as these.

    • @philthomas4312
      @philthomas4312 5 лет назад +1

      @@alexanderdean8682 nope.

  • @TranquilAssassin
    @TranquilAssassin 2 года назад +231

    He basically verbally dictated an essay about film as an art form on the fly. I wish I had that ability for my sociology essay due this week

    • @saucylittlenumber3575
      @saucylittlenumber3575 11 месяцев назад +1

      word.

    • @SniffyPoo
      @SniffyPoo 9 месяцев назад +2

      True. But I think he has been mentally rehearsing this SW analysis for decades.

    • @fennec8896
      @fennec8896 8 месяцев назад +1

      @@SniffyPooidk about rehearsing but definitely seems like he’s thought about it, probably a lot since he feels so strongly.

    • @jackinthebox1817
      @jackinthebox1817 5 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@fennec8896People still think he's a gimmick lol

  • @hamzaduplessis3576
    @hamzaduplessis3576 5 лет назад +492

    Conan is a life changer. The times he made me laugh while facing heavy difficulties in my life. I salute you Conan! Peace out from Cape Town, South Africa.

    • @Gabzilla19
      @Gabzilla19 4 года назад +6

      Awe hope you're doing good during these harder times bort

    • @hamzaduplessis3576
      @hamzaduplessis3576 4 года назад +6

      @@Gabzilla19 All good dude, a walk in the park. Hope you are well and safe.

    • @o.t.bharmonylimited1277
      @o.t.bharmonylimited1277 4 года назад +3

      me too, especially jordan and conan

    • @hamzaduplessis3576
      @hamzaduplessis3576 4 года назад +4

      @Alaska Pirates Thanks for the message. To be honest he was actually quite last on my list of other TV presenters although I knew nothing about him. Until one day I decided to have a look and oh boy what a start to a crazy relationship. For the first time I guess I could say Chaos was now a friend, its just one big beautiful mess. All the best for your video making, I was actually thinking of doing the same.

    • @hamzaduplessis3576
      @hamzaduplessis3576 4 года назад +3

      @Alaska Pirates Are you thinking of starting your own channel? Have you started making videos already?

  • @daxoze
    @daxoze 7 лет назад +2378

    Further proof that Jordan is a real person and not playing a character

    • @DivingHusky
      @DivingHusky 7 лет назад +59

      daxoze he is real...he is real...

    • @adePRS
      @adePRS 7 лет назад +53

      now i'm convinced, he is real

    • @rozeqrtz3096
      @rozeqrtz3096 7 лет назад +150

      actually i think this proves the opposite it proves hes just a great actor and everything with him and conan is scripted.

    • @wardeni9603
      @wardeni9603 7 лет назад +188

      Well, it was revealed a long time ago that even though he's acting, he's basically playing a magnified version of himself.

    • @raine-time
      @raine-time 7 лет назад +39

      But he smiles and brakes character in the couples counselling video.

  • @corinachen4954
    @corinachen4954 7 лет назад +2124

    this guy wrote a 10 pages essay on the spot

    • @bayocapac
      @bayocapac 7 лет назад +180

      Keyue Chen more like on the spock

    • @rocknroland1
      @rocknroland1 7 лет назад +18

      Keyue Chen in first person sadly

    • @gustavogutierrez2709
      @gustavogutierrez2709 7 лет назад +2

      Corina Chen more like 2 pages.

    • @oblivionzzzmike
      @oblivionzzzmike 6 лет назад +1

      writers of the show more likely

    • @trigger_me_timbers
      @trigger_me_timbers 6 лет назад +8

      @OblivionMike This was Improv. If anything he just had a small list of choice subjects to help him riff on to keep going. If he didnt than its even more impressive

  • @troyking464
    @troyking464 3 года назад +484

    This went from Conan trying to goof on Jordan again, to him accidentally listening and becoming genuinely interested in what Jordan was talking about. We can make fun of him all we want, but Jordan definitely knows his stuff. It's fascinating.

    • @themikays
      @themikays 2 года назад +7

      how do you know Conan was genuinely listening to him lmao

    • @redakdal
      @redakdal Год назад +5

      @@themikays because he let him go on for 7 minutes

    • @DarknessIsThePath
      @DarknessIsThePath Год назад +1

      Conan died.

  • @muhdmatin
    @muhdmatin 5 лет назад +3298

    Conan looked like he turned on his harvard mind and was genuinely invested and listening

    • @DavidGomez-bf2ry
      @DavidGomez-bf2ry 5 лет назад +420

      To me he just looked like he wanted to kill himself

    • @cupofjoe.88
      @cupofjoe.88 5 лет назад +299

      Conan was flashing back to all the essays he bullshitted on cause Jordan sounds like hes reading one lol

    • @moshimanju7576
      @moshimanju7576 5 лет назад +127

      that’s what I thought, he wanted to act as if he was annoying him for the show but he was genuinely interested

    • @69funnystuff69
      @69funnystuff69 5 лет назад +2

      No he didn’t

    • @tylerpage2426
      @tylerpage2426 5 лет назад +14

      Looks like he’s being raped and just waiting for Jordan to stop

  • @ivanobradovic3627
    @ivanobradovic3627 5 лет назад +189

    2:15, when he says "to expand on that" he was possibly trying to improvise the whole speech since he expected of Conan to stop him and has chosen such words, however Conan was unaware of his line in this outtake which made Jordan create a masterpiece that was improvised. Jordan is brutally intelligent.

    • @jojomakes
      @jojomakes 5 лет назад +2

      Ivan Obradović The explanation is literally in the video itself lol

    • @TheJimLahey
      @TheJimLahey 5 лет назад +3

      What? It's clearly not improvised. It's funny you think he improvised a six minutes long speech instead of thinking that maybe that's the way he actually is.

    • @metalwreck450
      @metalwreck450 4 года назад +3

      @@TheJimLahey I mean, only 30 seconds of it was Star Wars. The other 5 and a half minutes were him drawing comparisons - the last two minutes in particular especially show the improvisation because he's fully gone entirely from the original point or subject matter itself.

  • @Joseph-hc1nx
    @Joseph-hc1nx 7 лет назад +2197

    Word count was never a problem for Jordan..

    • @Dankuzmeemusmaximus
      @Dankuzmeemusmaximus 7 лет назад +36

      Ofcourse it was his master was 15 pages too long

    • @zengara11
      @zengara11 7 лет назад +1

      was a problem for me tho

    • @dailyyydangles8094
      @dailyyydangles8094 7 лет назад +6

      I wish i had this power

    • @yashwinning
      @yashwinning 7 лет назад +2

      Making friends was.

    • @bheatricegreene03
      @bheatricegreene03 6 лет назад +7

      Yea he's repeating same phrase with different wording. I need him for my essays...

  • @shawnphillips1612
    @shawnphillips1612 Год назад +29

    Jordan is the only person who can settle down Conan with words. You can tell he respects him and could chat with him for hours while only saying a few words.

  • @kevindreenk6214
    @kevindreenk6214 7 лет назад +789

    I forgot he was talking about Star Wars half way through

  • @TheTopicHole
    @TheTopicHole 5 лет назад +2146

    The more I listen to Jordan the more he makes sense

    • @quito85869
      @quito85869 4 года назад +22

      That goes for just about any human bean

    • @LWT1331
      @LWT1331 4 года назад +76

      He makes perfect sense. It's not about what is said but its context.

    • @aa11ct9
      @aa11ct9 4 года назад +6

      @@LWT1331 Exactly!

    • @draculawolfman1502
      @draculawolfman1502 4 года назад +4

      @@LWT1331 Nailed it.

    • @scsi_joe
      @scsi_joe 4 года назад +15

      And if you watch Jordan, the longer he's allowed to talk the more he gets into what he's talking about and he uses his hands and body more

  • @TheFirstAmendment
    @TheFirstAmendment 7 лет назад +959

    This dude needs his own Podcast. ..

    • @AttilatheThrilla
      @AttilatheThrilla 7 лет назад +11

      People would confuse it by thinking it was an actual transmission with an alien from another universe

    • @TheFirstAmendment
      @TheFirstAmendment 7 лет назад

      AttilatheThrilla 😂

    • @boulshyte8932
      @boulshyte8932 7 лет назад

      The podcast would be 2 years long

  • @whitesimurgh6363
    @whitesimurgh6363 Год назад +72

    Amazing... Just superb... Jordan is so eloquent, smart, interesting and has great command over the language.. it's beautiful to watch it over and over again.. even if it were a script, it's still very impressive to memorize it all and if it isn't then he's just a genius of a man! 🔥♥️

    • @ericortega1745
      @ericortega1745 Год назад +3

      I like how Conan keeps looking annoyed with Jordan the whole time 😂

  • @siefmohamed7024
    @siefmohamed7024 4 года назад +932

    I actually listened to his speach and took it seriously..
    This man is a GENIUS

    • @dorkmax7073
      @dorkmax7073 4 года назад +50

      This man is repetitive and more simple in his argument than he sounds. He's basically just repeating the same point.

    • @marcelsiechniewicz7710
      @marcelsiechniewicz7710 4 года назад +29

      Dorkmax Shut up

    • @michaelkeppler5631
      @michaelkeppler5631 4 года назад +23

      @@dorkmax7073 You copied someone elses comment and passed it off as your own lol

    • @BrokenGodEnt
      @BrokenGodEnt 4 года назад +8

      His point isn't focused enough, but I get his sentiment lol

    • @mh-do3pe
      @mh-do3pe 4 года назад +15

      He's very articulate, I bet he can go on like this about wine or Italy or whatever he's passionate about.

  • @errorerror3133
    @errorerror3133 7 лет назад +3967

    Jordan is the greatest guest in Conan history

    • @hmmmhmmm6917
      @hmmmhmmm6917 7 лет назад +86

      He's Conan Executive Producer.

    • @ReinierS
      @ReinierS 7 лет назад +59

      Simo Hyvarinen associate*

    • @SuperJohn12354
      @SuperJohn12354 7 лет назад +13

      No that title goes to Timothy Olyphant

    • @calvints3
      @calvints3 7 лет назад +10

      SuperJohn12354 no that title goes to Norm

    • @DevonChampion
      @DevonChampion 7 лет назад +1

      Roland Bat lets expand on that. I declare it a thing.

  • @Lyon194
    @Lyon194 5 лет назад +517

    Imagine Jordan at a job interview. Could bullshit his way into any positions lmao he should run for office

    • @JawshuaJames
      @JawshuaJames 5 лет назад +37

      That's because he prepares himself mentally in various ways.

    • @yuutoyasashii5282
      @yuutoyasashii5282 5 лет назад +4

      in job interviews, when you are given a chance to speak, never ever speak more than 2 minutes...

    • @systemdnb214
      @systemdnb214 4 года назад +13

      How do you think he got this job?

    • @4ks3l
      @4ks3l 4 года назад

      @@yuutoyasashii5282 in my experience it's nice to turn the tables and ask questions about the job

    • @heatherperleberg7816
      @heatherperleberg7816 3 года назад

      Jordan "Guy who would 100% filibuster at a local council meeting" Schlansky

  • @kitkat2702
    @kitkat2702 3 года назад +30

    "I don't really follow sports but I've heard these terms said..." is the quote I relate to most from the entirety of this video lol

  • @westhomas5870
    @westhomas5870 5 лет назад +2158

    Conan should have said, "I zoned out a bit, can you repeat that again?"

    • @335637880
      @335637880 5 лет назад +6

      @@MinkSubliminals it's hilarious

    • @chiraglunagaria4597
      @chiraglunagaria4597 5 лет назад +60

      he would have repeated too.

    • @86soulx
      @86soulx 4 года назад +76

      he would give him a summary of what he just said except the summary is twice longer

    • @nbadraft08
      @nbadraft08 4 года назад

      Wes Thomas his was better

    • @zf5656
      @zf5656 4 года назад +3

      Conan woulda asked, but he knew Jordan woulda reapted

  • @keithhancock2469
    @keithhancock2469 7 лет назад +3104

    If I was ever in a legal situation being held at court I would pay Jordan to filibuster the hell out of the court.

    • @user-ce2br4wn7f
      @user-ce2br4wn7f 6 лет назад +85

      Thats not how courts work.

    • @Cooperqwerty
      @Cooperqwerty 6 лет назад +117

      Youre thinking of congress. Youd be held in contempt in court

    • @missccarr89
      @missccarr89 6 лет назад +17

      Bakers Field I was about to say... filibuster a law to congress. 🤣🤣🤣

    • @kalebluttrell8797
      @kalebluttrell8797 6 лет назад +3

      That’s not how court works.

    • @tertialtom5702
      @tertialtom5702 6 лет назад +12

      Urbn ink has a point, if you can filibuster the jury and cofuse them, than you can win cases. They say jurys can only pay attention for 40 minutes at a time.

  • @LePageChannel
    @LePageChannel 5 лет назад +459

    Realize that this was done without cue cards.
    All in real time, from Jordan's mind to speech.
    This guy has an amazing cerebral bandwidth.

    • @sqlevolicious
      @sqlevolicious 4 года назад +28

      Or that these are just his true opinions about star wars and star trek like any geek would express if offered to compare.

    • @yogafireyogaflame23
      @yogafireyogaflame23 4 года назад +3

      Yeah this is just what happens when any geek geeks out about something they care about. I could geek out about why one programming language is better than another and go on for six minutes in a similar fashion.

  • @YaoEspirito
    @YaoEspirito Год назад +13

    I love the fact that they play it out, almost to exasperation, without wrapping it up for a quick laugh. That's what makes it brilliant.

  • @BK-sx5ps
    @BK-sx5ps 7 лет назад +124

    I laughed, listened really well, and laughed, but listened. I really understood what he was trying to say. It's really insightful.

  • @August-kn6oe
    @August-kn6oe 5 лет назад +582

    Conan is sitting there trying to remember if he shut the garage door.

  • @jefferi78
    @jefferi78 7 лет назад +2125

    Jordan just ted talk conan 😄

  • @AustinMichaelDearing
    @AustinMichaelDearing Год назад +45

    Incredible, he touched on all artistic mediums, from the Romantic era of music history to early mythology to Van HCHHOGHGH, he is truly a man of culture

    • @robbiedubbelman3024
      @robbiedubbelman3024 11 месяцев назад +5

      Yeah, THAT'S HOW YOU ACTUALLY SAY VAN GOGH! It's a Dutch name, and we say that HARSH GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
      We actually chuckle at the way Americans tend to pronounce it...

  • @jithinwilson6569
    @jithinwilson6569 6 лет назад +1816

    Jordan should release an album with Eminem.

    • @theosiristsunade
      @theosiristsunade 6 лет назад +6

      Jithin Wilson lol a very monotone album

    • @jojob.9689
      @jojob.9689 6 лет назад +8

      Yea, this was equivalent to one of the best freestyles ever. So him and Eminem are great at spitting words off the top.

    • @nofixeddestination
      @nofixeddestination 6 лет назад +8

      Yes, an album meant to be played before bedtime to lull the listener to sleep.

    • @theosiristsunade
      @theosiristsunade 6 лет назад

      No Fixed Destination ha!!

    • @jexikavindictive
      @jexikavindictive 5 лет назад

      You think this was off the top of his head? I thought it was scripted.

  • @sammyver9
    @sammyver9 7 лет назад +435

    Even though I have the feeling that I'm somewhat obligated to feel irritated by Jordan, the only thing that comes to mind when he speaks is the fact that he's an incredibly eloquent man.

    • @yas6156
      @yas6156 7 лет назад +8

      sammyver9 *alien

    • @luaiballan8749
      @luaiballan8749 7 лет назад

      Omg same

    • @scottyboy3565
      @scottyboy3565 6 лет назад +4

      Actually, eloquence is the quality of forceful or persuasive expressiveness. The interesting thing about that is the performer presents little to no expressiveness throughout his pseudo-soliloquy. Jordan Schlansky himself would attest to the very fact that he does not exhibit any eloquence in this perticular show of rather grandiloquence. Which when you think about it, clearly demonstrates the focal point and idea behind his character. Interestingly, that being one of an ostentatious stoic individual with idiosyncracies translated by this bouquet of grandiloquent speech, arcane personal culture and absence of microexpressions. Following this reasoning, your statement would lack any validity and would therefore not merit in the likes obtained.

    • @SahiPie
      @SahiPie 6 лет назад +2

      Scotty Boy Jordan?

    • @elchamber
      @elchamber 6 лет назад

      It’s a script. Anyone can sound like that after some ELSE wrote it and had them practice saying it.

  • @CLuvTV
    @CLuvTV 5 лет назад +905

    Oh no, it's happened again, I need to go to sleep but I'm caught in another Conan binge

    • @gianlucamorelli
      @gianlucamorelli 5 лет назад +4

      same here haha

    • @deepz513
      @deepz513 5 лет назад +8

      Same here for 4 hrs straight..: /

    • @CLuvTV
      @CLuvTV 5 лет назад +5

      @@deepz513 One more, just one more clueless gamer lol

    • @TheSMCSS1234
      @TheSMCSS1234 4 года назад

      me too

    • @nazmussifat1994
      @nazmussifat1994 4 года назад +1

      come on, it's only 1.44
      you can watch another one hour 🙂😜🤪

  • @Yuriosity
    @Yuriosity 3 года назад +26

    I love how you can see the moment Conan begins to become legitimately interested. He's nodding along and enjoying the dissertation

  • @legion2590
    @legion2590 6 лет назад +387

    One of the most bizarre and impressive stream of consciousness performances I've seen. Great stuff lol

  • @Quinn8529
    @Quinn8529 5 лет назад +5005

    That’s how you know this isn’t scripted. Nobody could remember so much bullsh*t.

    • @niktis115
      @niktis115 5 лет назад +146

      Its Jordan wer're talking about here...

    • @negligentWarren
      @negligentWarren 4 года назад +239

      In the end conan points out it doesnt say to cut him off, he is referring to a script, obviously some of it wasnt but most of it was. Jordan said on a q&a on reddit that he does act like that but its exaggerated for conans show

    • @vai_-cn9br
      @vai_-cn9br 4 года назад +70

      Remember. Jordan was assembled in a freaking laboratory.

    • @sazcxieo
      @sazcxieo 4 года назад +77

      Those weren't bullshit.

    • @abelpi3934
      @abelpi3934 4 года назад +34

      Jordan's part was improvised.. just this time.. it usually is scripted.. that's why it was a master piece

  • @DavidGonzalez-nm6lt
    @DavidGonzalez-nm6lt 6 лет назад +690

    He talked for 5 minutes and 20 seconds, amazing

    • @drServitis
      @drServitis 6 лет назад +28

      Must be part female.

    • @nicklopez4130
      @nicklopez4130 6 лет назад +3

      drServitis facts

    • @Kinobambino
      @Kinobambino 5 лет назад +4

      @@drServitis lol

    • @garysimmons3166
      @garysimmons3166 5 лет назад +3

      That is seriously difficult. I wish he could go for 20 minutes. Lol. I think he only stopped because someone off to stage right gave him the cut symbol

  • @anonymous-yk9sz
    @anonymous-yk9sz 3 года назад +4

    that was such a good speech lmao, it was so technically sound and intelligent. It was so easy to understand and no subjects or ideas were missed or forgotten in the speech.

  • @preciousfox4740
    @preciousfox4740 3 года назад +287

    Jordan Schlansky is just my kind of guy, when he started talking about impressionist paintings I was feeling that. He does feel things deeply but he doesnt always express them

    • @Yanni75
      @Yanni75 3 года назад +2

      He's just repeating the contents of a museum catalog that he's memorized some time ago. Much like Patrick Bateman, but without the murder-death-kill.

    • @cooltoad7828
      @cooltoad7828 2 года назад +4

      Wasn’t Van Gogh a post impressionist painter? Sometimes he’s just winging it.

    • @Hiro_515
      @Hiro_515 Год назад +1

      Not entirely word-by-word, he's referencing multiple pieces of literature and tying it together in a more-or-less articulate way. While it's not exactly indicative of fluid intelligence, there's no doubt in my mind that Jordan possesses a level of logical reasoning, or verbal reasoning that is superior to the average person. Also, Patrick Bateman was relatively smart. As most sociopaths, or people with some level of mild neurodiversity are. That's irrelevant though.

  • @roygabay1906
    @roygabay1906 7 лет назад +7211

    He must have killed communication class

    • @mr.chipwhitley8770
      @mr.chipwhitley8770 7 лет назад +247

      Yeah, literally killed with boredom lol

    • @bigben6564
      @bigben6564 7 лет назад +427

      To be honest i was thoroughly engrossed in what he was talking about

    • @Arcticwhir
      @Arcticwhir 7 лет назад +307

      Wasnt boring at all, although he repeated similar statements several times, his whole speech was kinda hypnotic.

    • @nojamz200
      @nojamz200 7 лет назад +58

      ArcticPoise its all about repetition and repeating a key idea or phrase

    • @Prof_Z_PhD
      @Prof_Z_PhD 7 лет назад +13

      +Mr. Chip Whitley ...Well not everyone can understand him I guess.

  • @bluecocacola
    @bluecocacola 5 лет назад +483

    I unironically enjoyed his "rambling"

  • @jeromefulo6145
    @jeromefulo6145 Месяц назад +1

    3 times I stumbled upon on this video, every time I'm in Conan marathon, I find this video kind of relaxing.

  • @rexstetson1717
    @rexstetson1717 5 лет назад +674

    “That’s not really relevant to what I’m talking about here, but uuhhhh… interesting nevertheless.” 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

    • @joshua123838
      @joshua123838 5 лет назад +7

      I feel like he was thinking of his next rant during that one lmao

  • @TiTiTiTiT
    @TiTiTiTiT 3 года назад +881

    he clearly prepares his brain in various ways.

  • @bori5916
    @bori5916 6 лет назад +1253

    Everyone’s laughing but if you actually sit and listen it’s amazing

    • @marianoyuba3736
      @marianoyuba3736 5 лет назад +23

      I did! It is!

    • @LordsofMedia
      @LordsofMedia 5 лет назад +55

      It's really not.

    • @cherryberry4247
      @cherryberry4247 5 лет назад +30

      Its amazing, could be a literature thesis

    • @andrewtaku7184
      @andrewtaku7184 5 лет назад +4

      Lords of Media
      It really is...

    • @jacobheasley2618
      @jacobheasley2618 5 лет назад +35

      Excect that at least half of his arguments for star wars could easily be used as arguments to support star trek.

  • @TC-pq3xv
    @TC-pq3xv 2 года назад +9

    I also think Jordan is a freaking genius. I also just discovered the two of them.....last night. And I fell down a 4 hour Conan/Jordan wormhole. I laughed so hard I cried.

  • @OpinionatedMatt
    @OpinionatedMatt 5 лет назад +272

    Man the struggle to keep going for 6 minutes straight... Schlansky is a boss XD

    • @quito85869
      @quito85869 4 года назад

      Not only that he's talking so fast too lol

  • @sarthakj84
    @sarthakj84 7 лет назад +426

    I wonder what's going on inside conan's head. His expressions are so funny here. "Every decision i took in my life brought me here" xD

    • @nicf1555
      @nicf1555 7 лет назад +5

      Every time I saw a close up of Conan Only Time by Enya started playing in my head

  • @MrTee-qt1qo
    @MrTee-qt1qo 7 лет назад +1333

    The whole time I was admiring Conan's vintage Stratocaster.

  • @rachelcookie321
    @rachelcookie321 Год назад +9

    This is definitely stuff he has wanted to talk about for a long time. He has had all that in the back burner for a long time and is finally getting the opportunity to share it all.

    • @SniffyPoo
      @SniffyPoo 9 месяцев назад

      yeah ive seen his collection of vader helmets. has to justify those purchases somehow

  • @meesvanaanhold5074
    @meesvanaanhold5074 5 лет назад +178

    Bonus points for one of the best pronunciations of Van Gogh I’ve ever heard from an English speaker.

  • @sodalimesalt
    @sodalimesalt 5 лет назад +515

    I really like the way he talks about Art, Culture etc. Can he start his own RUclips show or something?

    • @EmanDeMoan
      @EmanDeMoan 4 года назад +3

      I think he has an IGTV show on teamcoco's insta

    • @nigelrajaratnam6514
      @nigelrajaratnam6514 4 года назад +6

      @FuckYouGoogle Absolutely agree. I think he's a really intelligent and funny guy, and I agree with him on a lot of things. But here he called Star trek 2 dimensional, and implied that Star wars had relatability both because of how familiar those human situations were, and also because of some romantic distortion in how it portrays the world structure of the time .
      Star trek deals with things in technology, economics and society that are easily a 100 years out into the future, and is a fundamentally ground breaking projection of what human beings could one day be.
      There is absolutely no debate

    • @mane8063
      @mane8063 4 года назад +3

      @@nigelrajaratnam6514 I've never seen Star Trek, but I agree with you. I think both Star Wars and Star Trek deal with significant, interesting and important aspects regarding our life, society, technology, economy etc. and both deserve the fame they get. There shouldn't be a competition between them.

    • @bern9642
      @bern9642 4 года назад +4

      @@nigelrajaratnam6514 he says stars wars is fantastical and deals with themes that has been explored by many cultures through their myths and stories. That makes it easier for cultures around the world to relate to it. Star wars really ain't sci-fi, they could be using magic and swords and the story will work.

    • @sebs1846
      @sebs1846 4 года назад +1

      Lol guys, Schlansky is the guy that thinks clouds in Italy are different from ones in North America. It's not just his opinion on Star Wars or Star Trek that are tripe.
      This is why any Schlansky show must include a segment where experts on the subject he is schooling everyone on get to flatten the mound of horsesh*t he'd build. I think that would be wildly entertaining.

  • @Cnoble59
    @Cnoble59 5 лет назад +289

    Conan’s face throughout is priceless.

    • @pizzaboy399
      @pizzaboy399 5 лет назад +1

      Reminiscent of Conan and Andy's legendary staring contests.

    • @GrantValdes
      @GrantValdes 4 года назад

      I think he was holding one position so it would be easier to edit.

  • @ferntella
    @ferntella 3 года назад +8

    I wish they let him talk for at least 5 times as long. I learned so much about earth and history and art just from him talking about his space-franchise preferences.

  • @BigRedShadevil
    @BigRedShadevil 4 года назад +70

    Listening to Jordan is like hearing a college professor give a detailed lecture. It’s wonderful!

  • @AngelAffinity18
    @AngelAffinity18 7 лет назад +362

    Man I love Jordan. He is such a facinating individual, and seems like the nicest guy too

  • @arielriley2608
    @arielriley2608 6 лет назад +724

    The one guy that's laughing obscenely loudly makes this whole segment

  • @johnstewart6065
    @johnstewart6065 Год назад +3

    👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻He’s not even finished yet and I’m already so impressed with this. 😂 Never seen it before. 😂 The way he keeps it going and it all feels plausible and not too much of a stretch. I love Jordan. 😂😂