What Anyone Who Hasn't Had Depression Should Know | MedCircle
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- Опубликовано: 24 апр 2019
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In this video, a psychiatrist & happiness expert explains what anyone who hasn't had depression should know about what it's like and how it's different from sadness.
Finding motivation when you're feeling depressed: this sounds simple on paper, but being happy all the time is difficult - especially if you don't have the motivation to be happy - and beat depression. This series will give you the tools to be happy - straight from a psychiatrist.
Watch the rest of this interview series to understand the psychology and science of happiness.
Depression is considered one of the biggest causes of disability by the World Health Organization (WHO). It affects over 300 million people around the world.
Only 1/3 of those who actually get diagnosed know self help or can find the right help.
MedCircle covers how you can find the motivation to beat depression and be happy. In doing so, the series goes a long way in erasing the stigma surrounding this condition.
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#Depression #MentalHealth #MedCircle
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Thank you so very much for talking about this subject !!!!
I have been diagnosed with MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER
AND I HAVE BEEN UNDER A DOCTORS CARE. BUT. I AM TIRED OF FIGHTING TO STAY ALIVE.
IM SO OVER IT.
THANK YOU FOR INFO
Thanks.
This is quite possibly the best thing I have seen. Because I have major depression disorder and my soon to be ex husband thinks im just lazy end emotional. This has me in tears that someone is so passionate about prevention and treatment.
My mother always told me you never know how sick you are till you get better. That is what depression is. You don't know how severe your depression is till you get better.
When major depression sunk into me at age 14, I thought life was naturally an unrelenting war of willpower that I was just not cut out for. Only when I came out of it did I see how easy and carefree life is (relative to being depressed).
Exactly how i feel when i get better for a few days in a year. Only then you realize how f**** up you are
This is honestly so true. It almost feels like once you're better, you acted insane before - but when you are depressed, it all makes sense.
@@Creshex8 how did you come out of it?
ouch! that hit a nerve! thanks
Depression doesn't add some perks to your personality. It takes everything that you might be
So true
Totally. Steals you heart & soul & anything you could of been. :(
This. A friend of mine once said that she thought my apathy with things was a trait. Which may be true right now, since I have depression for so long that it became part of me. Sometimes I want to be more spontaneous about things, and every time I think about what I could be if I didn't have depression.
True
@@alke529 To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath and mind [brain] are closely related and gives good relief from stress-anxiety. For a better life sit on a chair or lie down, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. With daily practice the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Do the practice without any expectations. Let change happen. Day or night, when taking a walk, sitting in a park, when reading, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Reduce negative social media. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes. Senior Counsellor.
No one believes you’re suffering until you’re gone
Exactly..
I think that's not true because I think people care if you tell them how you're truly feeling instead of hiding it all :)
@@aneeqamalik417 I think it depends on the audience. Maybe in your experience people have cared but in my experience they still saying I am choosing this
@@FOAMS67 hopefully that can change soon, I think there's lots of people who are accepting of people's feelings and are understanding, it just takes hope :)
Yea. I’m used to saying, “I’m fine.” CANT explain it. Can’t hold a job. No desire to be around people. Daily thoughts of not being in the world anymore.
The biggest problem with depression is being able to AFFORD treatment.
You can find free or sliding scale treatment if you just ask around. I have had 4 therapist over the years and all were less then $20 per session out of pocket. Because I asked for a sliding scale or because I found places that secretly offered 1 free client every few months. Just ask around.
@@1129buttons in the United States?
Absolutely correct
"Why would you stay at a company that treats you like crap?" I know someone with depression who did, because severe low self-esteem existed alongside the depression.
Exactly. You think you deserve it and won't be able to get anywhere else. Pretty much like in any other abusive relationship
TBF in my experience, most companies treat you like crap. In the modern world you're only expected to remain at a job for a year or two. There's no interest in relationship building in an environment like that.
Some roll all over you when your depressed and low self-esteem. I stated in the situation cuz I was afraid to leave, afraid to move, afraid to do anything and I was taken advantage of cuz of that. Why r some people so cruel
They stay because they need the money.
I’m stuck at a job like that because I need the pension. We have such an awful HR department they give people a hard time if they’re even out with cancer! And management , too, would get upset if people are out with even the flu...never mind a mental health day! People in this low morale environment feel unworthy and their skill set suffers, therefore they end up unemployable with hero’s them more stuck in the apathy and workplace.
This woman is phenomenal! I think the reality that “we’ve all got something” calms me down so much. When in a bout, what really sends me further down is thinking that I’m crazy and helplessly doomed to a life of insanity. Normalizing it stops it from getting so dark for me. Unrealistic expectations of what a normal life is I think is what makes things worse for many of us.
Briana Lovell and that (in my opinion) is part of the self sabotage we go through thinking it will never end, when really what we need is the reassurance that everything will be ok from our loved ones INSTEAD of “Why are you always so sad/miserable? “ It is one of the most frustrating feelings for me. You don’t want me to be sad? Then don’t ask me why I’m sad cause I don’t know.
@@RochelleLong924 Very good point!
@@RochelleLong924 exactly. Esp when such qns come from bosses or family makes me lose it immediately.
@@RochelleLong924
My sister says, “just let it go. Give it to God.” I call that denial. 🤷🏼♀️
I know about that--some Christians need to stop judging everyone and get into therapy themselves, but I'm not goign to hold my breath, waiting! many of them are in too much denial to even consider it- they pretend that somehow it's self-centered or that a person's just not "thankful to God" when depressed. Often this keeps other family members in a state of denial, too,that they're being psychologically abused by this "Rah rah, isn't God great and isn't life beautiful" point of view that's being forced on them!I was a very bright child, that got picked on by my mom, and sexually abused by my dad. When I tried to talk about this to them as an adult, I was labeled the enemy and all kinds of badmouthing went on for decades about me to other relatives. Of course, they never mentioned the REAL reason they felt threatened by me, (as they didnt want them to know about their abuse of me)I was a single parent and dependent on my parents for a tiny bit of help to pay bills, and had the self-esteem of an ant! Please, find help- it took me a lifetime to find a therapist-- they were expensive and/or didn't "specialize" in parental abuse. Believe me, I think this was just an excuse, though to get out of truly having to hear stuff that would be difficult to hear, sadly.
5:08 In my experience, the vast majority of bosses will simply fire the depressed employee in the expectation that the next one that comes along won't suffer from depression or any other condition that would prevent them from robotically performing their expected tasks.
My case.
Same here :(
That was my thought but I will try saying “ I am calling out because I’m too depressed to get out of bed”
This happened to me
Same here.
Wow!! Dealing with this mental illness is extremely difficult. At work you are smiling but inside you are dying. This pain hurts. The hurt I feel in my heart can be so unbearable at times. So many medications and none of them are working. All I do is pray to God for HELP!!
The chant over and over again says "get help" but there should be a video about what this means. What does it mean for people who don't have insurance versus have insurance. IF a person pays a therapist, HOW MANY therapists will a patient TRY before they find one that fits and will they be paying an extra $200 a month or more for therapy. And if GET HELP means taking PILLS how much will that cost, what will the side effects be, how long will the pills be prescribed, will a person be stuck on meds for many years and with a numbing effect. HOW MANY types of pills will be prescribed before something works 50%. GETTING HELP isn't easy and people should CLARIFY THAT. These videos are unreal because getting help just means getting people stuck into a pharmaceutical dependency with no end. A person might have to try 3 or 4 therapist before they find one they like.
As someone who's gone throw 6 psychologists and 3 pschyatrists (they were all fucking trash), who's lost his job because of his mental health condition, therefore losing his insurance, who's taken 4 different types of pills for years and none has worked, I ABSOLUTELY agree with you, sometimes "getting help" is way more excrusiating than dealing with your mental condition alone, it's a nightmare and lets you way worse than before "getting help". I have attempted suicide 3 times, at 16, at 21, and last year at 26, ended up 15 days at my local hospital in the middle of a covid crisis at said hospital (lost my job a few days later). I'm 27yo, I was diagnosed at the age of 16 with BPD, depression, anxiety, panic attack disorder and OCD. I honestly have no fucking idea what I'm gonna do next lol.
what do you expect from trash propaganda videos?
Pills don’t always work . I have asked for help but nobody can help me.
Or more!
the first time I reached out for help, I was prescribed pills. I never took them and I thought this is not for me. I was a teenage mom with three kids and a alcoholic, drug addicted spouse. Pills wasn't going to help me. I needed someone to listen and help me get out of an abusive situation. I agree. these so called therapist and psychologists are modern day drug pushers. I am much better now, but I had a long journey of recovery and setting boundaries
.
I feel most of the people I know don't understand just how depressed I am and why it's difficult for me to get proper help. Most people think I'm just pretending or I just want to be depressed. I wish I could figure out how to get better. Because I'm starting to feel like things are going to get much worse.
Same
Kyle is an excellent interviewer, so fresh and curious
I'll unsubscribe if they let him go tbh
ignorance is bliss
You definitely understand his obvious enthusiasm and interest about the truth of the subject matter. Which was a nuanced portion of interviewing and is now almost nonexistent.
I love Kyle 💘 to pieces.
👍❤️
@04:20 Really? Who the hell chooses to be sad?
Hits home!
She got me when she said she wants to get people to "optimal". That's when I know she gets it. So glad you had this doctor as a guest!
I've been severely depressed since childhood. I'm occasionally 'meh', but can't remember being happy in years. My life is pretty bad, so I'm not sure if it's just a build up of situational events and my brain has just given up coping. I have tried a variety of treatments and nothing has worked. SSRIs made me numb, but also made me a zombie and I lost my job as a result. So I can't go back on those. I would like to experience being happy for just a day to see what it's like. Not even ectasy, just happy and content. But I don't know how.
I feel like this all the time. You are not alone
I look at it as everyone has different pain tolerance, same with happiness i guess. Maybe my threshold of happiness is low and its not a bad thing just different coloured glasses on. This is how i look at it because the dark can be so overwhelmingly low but maybe its because i can handle that low and others cant .. iono but just know you are not alone
Hi LDT7Y. I can completely relate to what you are saying. You are not alone and I appreciate you sharing your feelings because it helps me feel like I am not the only one who has been profoundly depressed since childhood. I have always felt like I am looking into a fish bowl watching everyone else "live joyfully" and I don't know how to do it. I have experienced occasional moments of feeling good, but I go from severely depressed to 'meh' just as you describe. The doctor refers to getting me back to "how I used to feel" when I wasn't depressed, but there isn't a time when I felt differently. I have tried numerous things as well. and nothing has any lasting effect. All I can say to you is don't give up. Keep searching for something that will help you. I will try to take my own advice.
@@AbigailObengAnyan Christ might not work for some people, while I respect your religion praying to god is not the absolute solution to depression. Some people dont believe in him, and some might have bad memories with the religion, its best to just go straight to a therapist.
Have you ever considered medical cannabis? I don't know what the laws are in your state (or country), but there is growing research on how it can help treat depression, and it is even currently being used to help treat people with PTSD. Notice I say "treat" and not "cure". But it can be quite effective. I have mild/moderate depression and am in therapy, and cannabis has done wonders for me. It's given me some new perspectives, allowed me to relax and not worry so much (I tend to ruminate a lot), laugh more, and even sleep better (I've had issues with insomnia and sleep disturbances for a long time). It is worth considering, if you have not tried it before.
@@failingeverything5793 As a Christian I second that you should speak to your Gp. However I do think prayer works but I'll be honest I'm really struggling myself. Just today feel awful as left house before friend of my husband calling over with playdate with his 2 children (outdoors with covid). The wife is working so won't be there if she was I would of really tried to be there but I feel a bad mother for running away and not facing it. Also want to be happy for husband. I've been off work last week, got cert for 2 weeks and have had depression before but never admitted it was due to depression until last week. My boss was supportive but I still think there's a stigma about it. I feel overwhelmed with my life and things I haven't managed to do yet like driving a car (ongoing try but then give up) I think it's part of the depression that I get stuck in a quagmire, get anxiety and then feel I'm a bad mother. As a Christian I have had the joy, peace and genuine meaning in life but I also worry about those that aren't saved and don't know God. I've increased prozac (similar brand) on advice of my Dr from 20mg to 40mg only on second week. So long story but I believe prayer works but please contact your dr if suffering too as you would with a physical condition like a broken leg, arm or asthma.
I like her theories. In reality there are no MD’s that do their own CBT, etc. They only write the scripts and they take months to get an appointment with. Telling people to seek treatment and describing it so warm fuzzy only to have them show up to their first appointment and experience something completely different is not only misleading but it’s just outright cruel.
It's important to seek out a doctor you connect with, many times the first one will not be the one you feel comfortable enough to stick with. It's like a primary care physician or dentist; if you don't like them, then you find another.
Dr shopping when the next closest is either 3 month wait or 4 hours drive away isn’t realistic. The alarming rates of suicide in rural America is testimony to that. People already have a deep seated hesitation to see them, why not be realistic with them. You want them to seek treatment then be truthful with them. Psychiatrists do NOT do therapy. This is not about shopping this is completely deceptive.
@Hl A I had to go through maybe 8 before I found one I connected with. Sounds like maybe you're just toxic and don't connect with anyone
Alexis McDawson WOW
@@greenroom9785 It sounds like you're a judgemental know it all. BTW it's nice you had the money to go to 8 places before finding the one you liked, not everybody can do that. In fact I'd say MOST could not do that!! I'd suggest getting real.
I am a student in Africa and it's hard to even get a day off when you are going through depression. People think that you are being lazy or acting like a baby when you tell them you can't make it to school because you are emotionally and mentally unwell. There's not much awareness in my country about depression and many young people are suffering and most of them denie it even when they are going through depression
Hello there.i thought there is no depression in Africa.wich part are you from?
@@slugakristov8343 why would you think like that,we're human like the rest of the world. I am in Botswana
@@krisleshiba3390 don't get me wrong my girlfriend is from Africa...but yes you are right,im sorry.i always saw depression as western sickness in way.
I was a caring n quite outgoing person until I felt overwhelmed by my family, work n church responsibilities n so misunderstood n underappreciated n then from anger, fell slowly but surely into depression.Gradually disliking extra company n choosing not to talk, even when I have my preferences n thoughts.N I realised I was kinda "losing" my vocabulary cos of not speaking for long periods of time.It was finally a consistent "praise n worship" personal times with Jesus that pulled me out of the low state of depression n tho some circumstances have not changed, I've learnt to" let go n let God" n be free to enjoy my simple life with family n a few friends.
I wish I could find a psychiatrist like her!! If more psychiatrists were like her I bet we would have much better success in the field of mental health!!
I really hope the algorithm will pick this video up and will recommend it to people.
I wish my son could get help from you. You make so much sense. So many doctors don’t care. It’s sad but true.
I'm so sorry. It's horrible when it's your child 💔 I wish somebody would help him. Most doctors don't care unfortunately. Best of luck sending positive thoughts to you and your son.
@@8656737s respectfully, MOST doctors DO care. But they are people like any of us with DEPRESSION too. My husband was one of them; and he committed suicide. They are held to such a higher standard and not allowed to be human.
@teresa I'm sorry your son is going through this. If he is a minor, please keep trying other drs. until you find one who you know is in tune with your son. If he is an adult, let him know it takes different tries to find a therapist, dr, who is a good fit for ourselves. Drs are people limited by their training, own personal experiences, beliefs, so on. This does not mean they do not care, nor set out to hurt people ; it's against their training and intrinsic way of being. Best regards.
"You wouldn't blame yourself for getting the flu."
Luckily, you've never met my mother.
For the longest time I believed that every disease I had was because I hadn't taken enough care of myself. Only after I started treating my depression years ago I realized how twisted that thought is. Now I can rationally think that I'm not to blame when I get sick, but my first reaction when I feel some new ache or other symptom is always "Oh no, what have I done wrong this time?" It's very hard to get rid of this kind of thought once it's ingrained in your mind since childhood.
My dad is the same way, he is always telling me that I must be sick because I’ve done something wrong, when it really comes down to it I have multiple mental and physical health disorders and just have a very weak immune system, still makes you feel like shit every time you get sick tho because you’ve had ingrained that you’ve done something wrong to be sick
My whole family is like this, not in the case of getting sick myself but in everything I do. They always never praise me for the good things but instead pick out the faults & use that to scold me telling me “you could’ve done better if you didn’t do this” or “your cousin is better than you”. And not to mention the childhood traumas they cause me which only adds to the Low self esteem. At home I have no one to listen to my thoughts so I bottle up my thoughts & emotions which leads to breakdowns & suicidal thoughts as well as the voices in my head saying “why are you alive, your family finds you being a burden, they love your cousins more than you”. I also get sick very easily, most of the time it’s just common cold but when I was a toddler I had problems with my stomach, skin & sinus, I had to see a doctor constantly & my family paying for the bills would tell me “you have a lot of problem you know?” And I still have those problems now but I just don’t say it because…
That one time when I went out with my friends, we went onto a high building the voice in my head went “hey, ever wondered if you’d die if you jumped off?” But my friends pulled me out of the thought before I actually went too close. Right now my only way of coping is listening to music, it calms my emotions & it stops the voices from coming back.
@@trendyching6533 I grew up in a similar way, maybe with less sickness, but I heard the same things, specially when it was about school and other achievements (which I only realized that should have been celebrated as achievements over a decade later).
Also, I grew up with siblings, but it wasn't any better then growing up alone when we were living together. Somehow, our parents found a way to keeps emotionally separated, so we never had the strength to support each other, and we were always scared we'd get scolded too if we even tried. Only after I moved out and got into therapy I managed to get in touch again with my sister and older brother. Me and my sister are able to talk about those times, and we've found some healing over the years, but my older brother is a wall. We get along fine, he's very dear to me, but we were never able to talk about our childhood and I don't know how much he's healed, or if at all. My other brother followed in our parents' footsteps, and I want as much distance from him as possible.
I'm really glad you had friends in the right moment, even if they don't realize how much they were helping you at the time. No one deserves to feel unworthy, because we are so much more than our mistakes and other people's expectations. You deserve happiness.
Try to seak therapy as soon as you are able to. Reading is my coping mechanism, and I know from experience how fragile they can be at times. You can keep using music for as long as you want, but really try to find professional help whenever and however you can. Believe me, their help will last much longer in your mind.
I relate sooo much! I had the same experience and unfortunately, it seems I am choosing partners who react the same way :/ so when I am sick, I will have to take care of myself. Have been diagnosed with depression recently and of course I get to hear "get your shit together..you're just lazy..you're imagining it"
@@songbird6512 Visit a psychologist if needed. To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a better life sit on a chair, back straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Day or night, when taking a walk, when reading, on the phone, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
i was finally diagnosed with high functioning depression and high functioning anxiety and every time i’d go in i’d basically get shot down. every doctor i’d go to were basically like oh it’s just a phase and it will go away. finally one sent me to a supposed therapist and all he did was send me to some group meditation session which didn’t do anything. i guess i’ve gotten so used to acting normal that i try not to let it show cause every time it does show i’m basically told to suck it up and i’m over reacting or that i just have to pull myself out of it which just makes me more irritable and more upset. when i don’t answer a phone call or say i don’t want to do something it’s not that i’m ignoring whoever it’s the fact that i get so physically and emotionally exhausted that i just don’t feel like talking to whoever it is. people without depression or anxiety have absolutely no clue what we struggle with on a daily basis
Totally felt this😢
More interviews with her please !!!
Nice Video clip! Sorry for the intrusion, I would appreciate your thoughts. Have you thought about - Lammywalness Erase Depression Guide (probably on Google)? It is a good exclusive guide for beating depression fast minus the hard work. Ive heard some amazing things about it and my friend after a lifetime of fighting got amazing results with it.
Thanks for the video content! Excuse me for chiming in, I would appreciate your opinion. Have you thought about - Lammywalness Erase Depression Guide (search on google)? It is a great one of a kind guide for beating depression fast without the headache. Ive heard some decent things about it and my GF after a lifetime of fighting got astronomical success with it.
This was great, thanks, I been tryin to find out about "eat for depression" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Hanincoln Nanlivia Framework - (do a search on google ) ? Ive heard some awesome things about it and my colleague got cool success with it.
I agree!..and shes smoking hot...😊
She's probably Indian
“Don’t buy into the voices, that’s depression, and you can definitely get better”
Me: was no one going to tell me that this wasn’t normal or was I supposed to figure that out during my lunch break at work
I believe until you have had depression it's really hard to understand depression. I love Olivia Newton johns quote " This to will pass " I say that to myself over and over when i feel the heavy fog coming on. It helps me a lot ......
Feeling of a looming heavy fog is an accurate description
Olivia was so beautiful 🧡 She was an angel on earth.
Yes, I don’t think people can truly understand how debilitating depression is unless they’ve personally experienced it. It’s one of those things you have to have gone through - you can tell a mile off when people don’t get it
We need to CHANGE the way we have set up society. We need to CHANGE the way we work. We need to CHANGE the way we treat ourselves, and how much value we place on self-care. When we change the way we are living, we won't need so much mental health treatment. People wouldn't be so depressed or anxious if we changed the way we are living. No living organism can sustain this forever, and the world is breaking down due to the unbelievable amount of stress people are carrying.
I don't like that it's so common because that means it's just as easy to be looked over and looked down upon as not serious enough. I was recently diagnosed with dysthymia (persistent depressive disorder) and it was disappointing because I knew it wouldn't be taken seriously... especially when it's described as "mild" or "low-grade" depression. I hate that it's so widespread.
If you're watching this video and feeling like you're at the end of your rope, please know that you're not alone. It's okay to reach out for help, whether that's through therapy, medication, or just talking to a friend. It can be a long and difficult journey, but there is hope and healing on the other side. Thank you to the creator for sharing their story and shedding light on this important topic.
This is such an important video highlighting the importance of discussing mental health and overcoming the stigma associated with depression and anxiety. For those who may be struggling, it's essential to know that there are resources and support available. You may want to check out @Dr.healingstrain, a mycologist who uses mushrooms to help people overcome depression and anxiety. They provide valuable information and support for those dealing with mental health challenges, and their work is worth exploring.
I've never heard of Dr.healingstrain before, but their approach to treating anxiety and depression with mushrooms is intriguing. I'm definitely going to check out their products and see if they can help me.
Dr.healingstrain's work is so important, especially given the current state of mental health care in this country. I'm glad to see someone taking a holistic approach to treating these issues.
I truly believe if they called mental illnesses as brain disorders, it would remove a lot of the stigma.The brain is an organ like any other organ. Just because it is located in head does not mean depression is due to a flaw in character. Also depression is not about being unhappy . It is an illness.
Depression is always with you. Never lets up, never lets go of you unless you seek treatment. Seeking help is the hardest step. It’s hard to do but worth it
Actually, many people don't think depression is that hard and they don't understand why we even suffer from depression. I've met such people and was like 'just shut up' lol. Many people don't even wanna hear you say I'm depressed. When I say "I think I suffering from depression" all they say is "don't you say that again, you're being a little moody. Get going, do your work."
these people should feel what people with depression are feeling and the struggle day by day!
I've been depressed for the most part of my life. I got diagnosed with major clinical depression a few years ago and unfortunately can't afford therapy.
I am now 33 years old and this is a very hard thing to deal with. I sympathize so much with the people suffering from that. I really hope that one day society will be able to understand more people that are depressed.
Everytime I talk to my mother about my depression I always get the same answer and it's crushing me inside.
''You are 33 years old it's time to be a man stop being like a children''. It really hurt especially when it's the person you're looking the most upon.
Stay safe everyone. Much love xox
Soooo sad and frustrated to hear this! Scrolled through the comment section and saw how many people simply cannot find or afford a therapy. Meanwhile, therapist blatantly earn 300 dollars per session. So I've been told by some friends in the States. Pls, google for all sorts of online therapies till you find a channel that can truly help you. This video is an informative talk, not step by step help!
Sweet, perhaps you are able to find a friend or another relative to talk to? Your mother does not understand that she is hurting you. IF you think she does understand then definitely do not talk with her about your feelings. You have every right to have a listening and caring ear. Being a man or woman (re: adult) means you are looking out for yourself. Trying to talk things through is a sign of maturity. Talking is powerful. Power gets things done. Talk with someone you trust. I personally get a lot from Kati Morton (Therapist) on RUclips. All the best to you 💟
I'm so sorry to read this comment. It doesn't sound like your mother is supportive, and that is extremely difficult. I would recommend DBT, because it involves how to interact with others in an assertive way to get what you need. Therapistaid also has a good bit of free resources, activities, and worksheets to try. I hope you find peace and happiness soon! You can do it!
It might be that u are living with a narcissist
Wishing you all the best.it’s possible to recover despite al the odds.trust in God
I just stumbled upon this video and it brought tears to my eyes. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder 20 years ago. I still struggle at times, but like most things, my feelings of hopelessness and sadness ebb and flow. Recently saw a nurse practitioner and told her about my lack of motivation and the constant sense of dread I feel in doing simple things. She told me I should exercise. She said that would help. Does anyone else see what’s wrong with this picture? If I’m struggling with getting ready for work, how in the world do you expect me to exercise?! I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Yes if these simple things worked none of us would have depression. I had a Psychiatrist say do cardio 3 times a week 20 min, after I told him I am worse after a supervised exercise program took all my energy. (And I had gotten up to 10 min of cardio.) And that was why I made the appointment, really was not heard. First time I lost hope. Do not lose hope with such a comment. Evidence says exercise does help is low or moderate depression.
Unfortunately TRD depression is very real and I just keep trying, and learning to live with it and just recently have a new psychiatrist and a psychologist. This is the best help I have received, still working on fatigue, unemployable level of fatigue.
I totally agree!! I was told that a few times. Now I have a new psychiatrist and she is adjusting my meds first. Once one works, my motivation to workout will lift. Medication and therapy both will help me get to that point. Just like once the flu meds work, fever and symptoms are gone, a person can go back to work or school, and also exercise. So I’m not going to feel bad or beat myself up about it.
@@lisachimilio5647 It is so important and so difficult to not blame ourselves when we do not get relief medications or therapy and it is not from the lack of trying. My new team is doing a full review and I will get results in a few weeks. It could explain so much and hopefully lead me to a different way to do more than survive. I am being evaluated for autism and other conditions. Most of my past experiences with the healthcare system has left me distrustful, at least now I feel like I am being heard, and maybe I will find a reason why I have not recovered to thriving?
Yes I have had therapists in my past that said just go for a walk, when I can go walk I will. For now vacuuming is my exercise.
There have been times when I have literally gritted my teeth and forced myself to do something - like go for a walk, or weed the garden. Not easy - not easy at all - it's like having a broken leg and somebody tellimg you to run! But if a bear is attacking you it is amazing what you can do - with a broken leg!
I think antidepressants can lower dopamine, the hormone responsible for motivation and happiness
I suffer from depression and panic disorder , but i will never be able to get the help i need, because you have to have money in order to find the right therapist offering the right kind of treatment for your individual needs. I live in the UK and all i am offered is NHS help, and they are useless . It's like everything in life....you get what you pay for.
Those 3 p's of pessimism are just right on the dot. It's exactly what makes depression give you this false sense of self.
1) By taking things PERSONALLY, you allow your authentic self to be invaded or even replaced by something that isn't really you.
2) By thinking PERVASIVELY that bad things happen often in your life pushes aside the things that are good on many occasions either past or present but fixate on all the bad things.
3) By thinking that those bad things are PERMANENT, prevents one from looking outside their frame of mind no matter how cloudy. All they see is nimbus clouds and the weather will not be sunny, not ever, because the storms are so frequent, therefore, must be CONSTANT.
I'm one who has never been diagnosed. And i know i have depression because i have those suicidal ideations regularly. My typical first thought to any sort of inconvenience is "hmm i could just not deal with it. Can't be a problem for me if I'm not alive" Ma'am i wish more people had your line of sight about depression. The way you explained it, the way you talk about it, Thats something I've never thought about. Never have i thought it was the key to my happiness. I learned something. Thank you.
When you have moments of clarity and feel a bit better, you realize having heaps of clothes on the floor, chair, or bed, and dusty furniture from months ago is not normal and it's not okay.
Preventing depression is really important. I think everyone should be taught about mental and emotional health in grade school. So many of us just find ourselves in a depression and dont learn good coping strategies until we go to therapy.
Depression can’t really be preventive. Part of it is genetic. I have a long sort of history of depression stretching all the way back to my great grandfather. There are probably ways that I could’ve avoided getting the condition. But I couldn’t do it. Last semester in college, I would have lunch with people. Laugh with people. I would talk with them in my classes. But then I got depressed in April. It can always be prevented, even if you have a stable social support system. That’s some thing that this psychologist needs to remember; you can’t just avoid having depression. It comes when you least expect it. Mine happened because I let my anxiety build up due to the work associated with the class.
I’m sorry about the dictation errors.
Most of the time depression is environmental and can happen from trauma, anxiety, or other mental illness
11mins: the failed lost potential is tough to think of. I let it go. If depression is joy now turned inward. Living in the present with a support system is something I seek. My illness has wrecked so much.
She made me feel so safe, “that doesn’t mean I’ll give up on you.” That brought tears to my eyes, because my world has been on conditional love and it’s been a challenging time.
I would like to see a series on seniors who have borderline personality disorder that was never treated and now have symptoms of depersonalization, identity confusion, feelings of emptiness, severe anxiety, etc. Seniors have unique symptoms of mental health disorders and I would like to see these addressed--plus there is very little help in the system--and I am in Canada too and on a low income--HELP!
That would be interesting to do a whole series on seniors with mental illness because there was less help available earlier in their lives. It would be version informative to see their innovative coping techniques
That was the best psychiatrist I have ever heard, a totally different approach to treat depression, a different use of words, very uplifting
Who else lying in their bed with a few stitches on their skin and watching this cuz u are realizing u have a problem, but still not sure
Cheers for the Video! Forgive me for butting in, I am interested in your initial thoughts. Have you ever tried - Lammywalness Erase Depression Guide (should be on google have a look)? It is a smashing one of a kind product for beating depression fast minus the hard work. Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my cousin at very last got great success with it.
Why the stitches
I just realised i do not even think that i can be cured. I live in Russia, so our medicine is not really great, especially when it's about mental health. But anyway videos like yours..i feel i need them. So thank you.
In the US our medicine is great, our doctors are great, but it is difficult to get top treatment, or seen in a timely manner, or get medications consistently because it all revolves around money with some luck involved too.
I have suffered from major depression for 6 years now. I feel the same as you, that it will be around for the rest of my life and the rest of my life will not be all that long. It seems in the end, you have to defeat it on your own.
If you want to know about narcissism I strongly suggest DoctorRamani here on RUclips.
She gives great advice regarding the topic and how to survive a narcissist, among other things.
I feel the same way I live in Baltimore
Maryland om on Prozac which helps a little but I feel you 100%
A mental flu...this really stuck out to me. I finally asked for a day off after dealing with depression for 3 months and still felt bad about asking. I feel bad leaving things undone that my supervisor shared can wait.
Well said....
Nobody choses to be sad,it just happens to them, totally relatable interview, I have been suffering from this and I know what I am going through 🌸
@the sewer pig lmao bruh what's wrong?
Lack of religious knowledge depression comes in life so keep faith in God then souls connect with love and coprate in life. Cut down desire only grateful. Cut down sugar and eat fruit and vegetables daily. Sleep at night not day time. Do good karma it builds up happiness in life.
@@ShanBojack keep Faith in God then souls connect with love and coprate in life.
@@gurgurgur imagine needing skydaddy to cope. just shows how delusional u are. u need treatment before its too late
I'm horribly depressed and getting worse at a hastening pace. I'm 63 and have had a lifelong history. I've tried just about everything short of ECT or TMS. Wish ppl believed me.
I've been for CBT and also had a telephone call with a therapist both of them don't seem to understand why I feel depressed and worse some days than others. Heres the problem, people who work in these places offering CBT want you to fill out a questionnaire based on how you feel. I cannot for the life of me give depression a score between 1-5! 1 being not at all and 5 being all the time. It's different everyday depending on what I do, what I drink if I am out drinking alcohol or even the weather. My epileptsy can make me more depressed after a focal seizure (I mentioned on another video) I do believe that on a nice hot sunny day more and more people including myself who suffer depression, come out and plan things to do with friends! So how would anyone seek the right help if it's not up to their standards of scoring an illness from 1-5? IMPOSSIBLE! I suffer with clinical depression but according to them i'm fine and they don't understand why I need help. It's a no win!!
I've suffered from depression episodes all my life....I had to work full time with a sick husband.off and on, as a TD1 and then our daughter as a TD1. I had no counseling, no family member was not interested in talking to me about my issues, doctor prescribed meds for me and I muddled through each episode...yes it was difficult but I made it.
I'm still dealing with depression bt this gives me hope it works thank you
Thank you so much, Dr. Sue and Kyle! This was so helpful. I've learned a lot.
'So fascinated by depression because you're so fascinated by happiness.' You're fabulous with a beautiful raw talent and it is different for everyone. Depression is getting in the way of making you fabulous. Thank you for this episode.
wow! blown away by the high level of info on depression and the clear delivery!
This woman is fantastic! Spot on.
How to make my friends and parents see this? They love me and I know that. But they just don't understand. They think I choose to be this. No, I don't! Will I ever be able to come out of it? I just feel like I'm going in circles. I try to get out of it but I end up being at the same place feeling worse. 😔
I believe that if someone has not suffered from major depression they will never understand what it's like.
@@Paul-os1fr Agree. 🥺
From an old lady... I have spent a lifetime of grief and sorrow BECAUSE family, friends, society doesn’t get it. Consider this little component is causation. Letting go of the need to be understood by those we believe are the important people in our life is not a natural or normal part of being human. Finally I have made a choice to eliminate people who don’t understand or get me. Their is a grief of loss process with this, but it can pass with the work. My internal dialogue switched to “this person is not a match for me and I accept this and allow myself to grieve the loss and move forward into a life of finding people who are a good and healthy match for me. This is ok. I will not blame or shame myself for making healthy choices”. Knowing the signs of narcissistically minded people and vetting them out of your life is just part of the work. Dr. Ramani here in Med Circle and her own channel is critical to identifying people who invalidate and abuse. Best to you
@@Paul-os1fr To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath and mind [brain] are closely related and gives good relief from stress-anxiety. For a better life sit on a chair or lie down, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. With daily practice the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Do the practice without any expectations. Let change happen. Day or night, when taking a walk, sitting in a park, when reading, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Reduce negative social media. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes. Senior Counsellor.
I don't think she accomplished enough..lol. I'm just jealous. She is awesome. She's has so much to share in a very down to earth way. Love her. Thanks for the great info
Half-way through spilling her credentials I was like, "Stop! that's enough!"
A lot of people say they're "depressed" when they're really just sad. Our society just doesn't allow for ordinary sadness or grieving without pathologizing it.
Only understood the part of your comment in which you said they only sad and which my response would be : nice! only been sad for 2 years totally not depressed!
I think there is still guilt or shame attached to just being sad, unhappy or grieving for longer that is usually expected.
It's perfectly ok to feel down about your life situation, even though you have friends, family, a job and in general, have everything going for you.
It's ok to miss someone you cared about even though you feel you should have moved on by now. It happens to all of us.
It's ok to still be sad about someone you lost, even though they passed away 10-20 years ago.
That's baggage, that's something we all carry. The problem arises when non of that get's any outlet, it's just stuck in someones head. People need to be alot more open with each other so we dont carry around all this baggage without actually taking it out and looking at it through someone elses eyes.
Just that helps sometimes.
Our society is so hell bent on success and happiness that people feel shame when they feel unhappy or sad with all the recources they have around them.
I've literally felt awful for 8 years and while things have dramatically gotten better it didn't help to hear adults say that.
Huge difference between being sad and depression. I have depression. I’m sad sometimes-mostly just tired, numb, anxious, hopeless.
depression is not the opposite of happiness, depression is the opposite of vitality. when i am
depressed, i am unfunctional. i prefer to be sad than depressed. when im sad, i feel something. when im delressed, i feel nothing
Love this Psychiatrist and her holistic treatment approach. What an insightful discussion on depression- conveyed in a realistic, practical and easily understood manner! Love her!
Informative and helpful, upfront and candid yet still compassionate and accessible, not an easy balance to achieve. Thank you Dr Varma.
Light depression is great for a bit of introspection, pondering the meaning of life gets difficult if you are permanently edging for joy. The hard part is having the personal skills to stop the drift into deeper depression.
Very Amazing conversation. Both very great in conversation. I am glad they opened the conversations like this. Dr. Sue Varma is sooo awesome. I like the Prevention aspect of Depression.
THIS VIDEO WAS PERFECT! I learned so much, about myself and depression. Even though I am studying to be a psychiatrist myself
I'm 23 years old, completed my graduation in civil engineering but idk why I'm still crazy about psychology and neuroscience. Sigh.
@@aayushkansal4659 congrats on graduation
Awesome!
That's why there are so many suicides in the military, there's a stigma attached to this condition. Your commander will know about you seeking help and it will be in your permanent record. Then you will probably be passed over for promotion.
Spot on. I work as a law enforcement officer and we have the same issues as military. I have avoided a depression diagnosis for coming up on 7 years now. Having an official diagnosis and record of psychiatric care or meds for depression is a crucial cut off for law enforcement. I know that getting help will jeopardise everything I've worked for.. and my career in which I get to help others is not something I'm willing to let go of in hopes of potentially getting help for myself. It's a sad world to live in.
My dad is in a similar situation he’s in the military and works in law enforcement but he took anti anxiety meds. My parents tried to convince me, not to take antidepressants for this reason but My depression is only getting worse . Luckily the career I want to go in it won’t affect me.
What an absolutely inspiring and fabulous doctor!
Great information. Thank you very much.
Exercise does help but it's impossible to do this on my own when I'm 'in the black.' In the summer, I can sometimes bargain with myself by 'just walking to the end of the driveway' or 'just the end of the block.' With 45 mins of cardio 3x a week, vitamin b shots and quitting sugar, I can cut my antidepressants in half but I can't get there in the worst times. Dragging myself out to help someone else also hugely helps get me out of my head. I never regret the smallest attempt at exercise, and sometimes I can also get there if a buddy picks me up. For anyone suffering with this #$%!ing disease, I wish for you 15 minutes of laughter, joy, feeling good about yourself and a good nap. You matter to someone even if this disease tells you you don't.
@sharon thanks for sharing..it's okay any little bit and consistency. Getting rid of sugar is a tremendous accomplishment! 🎉👏👏Keep it up! Remember too, 20 minutes of sunshine ☀️ morning or afternoon. Keep up the great work!❤
Yes! Just don’t give up on yourself! It will get better, you’ll see!!
Just read your comment. Are you doing okay?
@@Carol-sm6zu Yes for sure! I was just sharing my experience and coping skills. I have had this for 25 years so I pretty much know what works and doesn't work at this point. Thanks for your kindness. I don't always avoid sugar, but when I eat too much of it it almost always makes me vulnerable to a bad episode and I oversleep and get nothing done. Same with alcohol, so I nixed it a few years ago. It was fun to be a wino for a minute 😆
Yes madam Doctor thank you, where should I send your fee to
She's amazing! Yes, more prevention methods in WM, please!
Very important advice! It helps so much. Thank you very much
I love your series!!
We need more doctors like u
I miss work a lot, today I want to die how do i even care about work
Find a path with a heart and travel it. Love and love will find you.
I hope you are feeling better now. Virtual hugs.
Kyle, I think she is brilliant! You should really have more pieces with her!
Her lips and legs are awesome too. I wonder what color her pantjes are
Wow. I really needed to hear this today, but I didn't know that until I did. Thank you. This has also reminded me that Psychiatrists, such as she, are in fact working with different tools than Psychologists are.
This was a very helpful video. Thank you so much.
I became extremely depressed almost 3 years to the day that this video was published. I was hospitalized for a panic attack. Then I visited the hospital again and my depression became much worse. I can’t listen to the videos or podcasts that I used to listen to because I have trouble concentrating. I always blame myself because I think that I am the cause of it. And that I could’ve done better if I had just finished that class by taking a final exam. It’s hard to find the motivation to put on lotion or perfume. So sometimes I force myself to do it. And other times I feel so happy that I decided to do it, just like I did before I got depressed. Depression is scary. And well I agree that it could be medicated if we socialized with each other and practiced holistic treatment methods, it can’t be prevented completely. It can be part of your DNA, and it can always present itself if you experience a stressful or traumatic event. Insured, I don’t really agree with the psychologist. You can’t avoid getting depression. It happens when you don’t really expect it to.
This comment has been modified. I deleted the one I made a month ago.
She gets it! She's a wonderful gift to psychiatry
Any episodes of depression I've had in my life have been 'situational'. Once the situation resolves then the depression disappears. Usually, it's a toxic person that I need to cut out of my life and sometimes it's not that easy to get away from them.
The physical pain, weakness, discomfort are the worst
Why does my depression kick in when I hear this? Nearly to tears! I was suicidal toxic work place did not help.
I am on medication, now retired finding myself in fibre art, working with colors ar my own pace has helped so much.
Exactly. I am 42 , no career, no children, no partner & no friends. Alone & no social life. Shame I live with. Suffering & loneliness. As if I would choose this life?… Nobody chooses this illness. Hell on earth. I have tried to get help & nothing works. Perhaps everyone has something but really Dr. Varma does not seem to have anything. Some of us are cursed. No I have no talent. None. Yes loneliness kills. So hard to find community. Medication never worked for me. In trouble now. Cannot make friends. Tried for years to get well. So what do you do when you don’t recover? All my friends gave up on me.
Love the advice to bosses about giving employees mental health days. That is exactly the kind of employer that I would want to work for. I haven’t found one though so… I am thankfully self-employed 🙏🏻
Fantastic podcast one of the best thank you
In New Zealand if you don't feel.like going to work they will allow you to not go to work, that's how they value mental health, my friend is a teacher in New Zealand by the way.
Wow it's really good explanations. Thanks for this
I'm so glad I've found this video.
She is one wonderful doctor.🙏🙏🙏
Very informative and insightful. ❤❤
Wow this hit hard.
The time before depression I was known for my hand eye coordination.
Playing cricket,guitar stuff like that.
Now I have to try harder and its nowhere close to how much of a high I used to get with my talents.
Depression reduces you to a shell of your former self and turns you into a cheap version of yourself.
I just wanna feel like myself again.
Exercise,diet and meditation does help to some degree and there are just a few days in a year I could say I was doing good.
Otherwise its just a mediocre version of myself and when new people I meet think thats all I am.
Thats what hits you even harder because they don’t even know what you are capable of and I don’t blame then because they judge by what they see.
So, after fighting for so long me and my brain has given up on life and what I was meant to be.
Just become this run of the mill IT guy who is not even good at computers.
I think anyone can beat me at anything.
Confidence has taken a hit to the point I tell myself “whats the fucking point of even trying”.
Luckily I am still somehow hanging in there and dedicated myself yo serving others.
Because I sure as hell can’t feel anything so might as well help someone feel good specially my close ones.
There are no suicidal thought just thoughts that whats the point of all this.
Some people think that u cause it on yourself. If u r not suffering from depression u dont even know what we r going thur. Negitive thoughts r the thing when u r going thru depression because the things u dont want to think about those r the things that keep coming up in ur mind
You are so right and explaining depression the way you have is so right good bless you
16:20 💯 I can't THANK YOU enough for making a statement about this!! 👏👏👏 YAASSS!
Thank you ❤️
I love this woman she's amazing ❤️
My career in Emergency health care showed me how we ignore stress to our detriment. Not just our patients, but ourselves.
I rarely call off work...even when I am sick. The only reason I usually stay home is if I believe I may be contagious. I also never take off work for depression. I work at a very hazardous job, so with suicidal ideation, I had plenty of ways to do it. Luckily, I still get in depressive funks, but the suicidal thoughts don't come on quite as often, and are easier for me to push away than they used to be.
Me too mate, comes and goes sometime i can even pin point it a few days before, its fked
I would blame myself if I was sick but I have a low self esteem and I'm working on that.
It would be nice to have a psychiatrist who actually cares this much and isn’t just focused on pushing medication
She nailed it. Sorry some do not see focusing on prevention is in many areas.
She's terrific. TY
when an illness comes it doent just go away thats why taking care of yourself is very important and sometimes its genetic