Lessons From a BRUTAL Divorce & Why Men Must Learn When To Surrender.
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- Опубликовано: 25 май 2021
- This video brings several lessons from the divorce grinder that young men should be aware of, and why divorced dads need to surrender to their reality post divorce.
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Just bought it, I just graduated from Georgia Tech and I WILL NOT put myself in any position like this.
I read the book today. I highly recommend it. Don't skimp, grab a copy, it can save you years of bullshit.
Which video on your channel goes over the 8.3 years marriage stat where only ~3% are still in bliss? I’d love to know more. thanks! 😊
You and Kevin Samuels need to collaborate.
I read a stat not long ago that sole custody is given to the woman something like 92% of the time. ALTHOUGH in some places in the states, judges are now awarding joint custody and the women are freaking out over it. Even in the UK and that was a shocker. An article was written "whoa is me" all these mothers losing 100% custody of their kids.
Even Brad Pitt finally won his suit to get 50/50 with his kids and the article was written "a loss for Angelina"......
My dad once told me that when you marry a woman she will spend the next 25 years trying to change you into somebody else. Then she will turn around and say you are not the man I married.
The burden of performance will always be on men. I’m fine with that though. Imagine your entire value being 95% dependent on how you look if you were a woman, fuck dat.
Your Dad was right too.
Who doesn’t want to be with someone who constantly shit tests you every day to prove your worth to her? Never having a moments peace as you constantly have to achieve, achieve, achieve! Does she have to prove herself? Nah, she just shows up and prepares to be catered to. Yea, no thanks.
@@blazecosko7506
Then forget all that equality bull. 95% of the burden - 95% of the say in any and all matters
@@canadiansoviet Agreed. I genuinely think men can win in the long run, it just requires the work to be put in. It needs to be earned and proven.
I'm a Divorce Attorney, and I can tell you that it is a WILD world out there right now. This pandemic brought out a whole new level of crazy!
@Reaction Diaries I don't know if the laws in Germany are as permissible as the laws in the U.S. when it comes to marriage, property, and children.
It's not that they're bad, its just that they're wild. They don't call it the Wild Wild West for nothing! :)
@@MatthewHarrisLawPLLC what Should men do to protect themselves during a marriage? Do prenups work etc?
@@TheMainMan364 Prenups are helpful to set/deny alimony and confirm the division of property, but are worthless for child support, custody, and visitation.
If I had ONE piece of advice to give to Dads, it would be to stay VERY involved in the primary caretaking of the child, and to DOCUMENT the involvement. (selfies of "look at me changing this diaper/feeding/bathing" goes far) This will prevent the Mom from denying that Dad has been involved.
@@johnsmith2221 well, custody decisions involve a lot more than just changing school districts. However, ALL other things being equal, the Courts tend to lean towards routine and stability for children.
@@MatthewHarrisLawPLLC hey man real question. Why do women get custody more? If it’s for the best interest of the child, shouldn’t father get more custody because of money reasons?
It took me two marriages and two divorces to figure things out. My first wife told me one day she didn't know how to be married and said she was leaving me. I told her, before she walked out the door, if you leave, don't come back. She came back.....with her sister and a U-Haul truck and cleaned out the house while I was at work. The second wife tried to do the same thing, but I had changed the locks after she left. I have been single for the last 22 years and have never been happier!
My question, who would be your closest companion in old age.
Did you have children?
God.
@@deepanjan.sengupta
@@deepanjan.senguptamuch better to be alone than with a toxic woman (he's probably not completely alone anyway)
@@jamesholster5323And after a divorce, you end up alone anyway...
Remember this...you never truly know a woman until you divorce her.
Yes you do...just just choose not to belive it
You need to be the Invisible Man to know women .
@@saif9amar417
No, you need to know women to be the invisible man.
After you marry they begin to change to their real self which is not what you bargained for.
No, she divorces you.
Do not get married gentlemen. It’s a slaughterhouse
Yup pointless. Just enjoy each other’s company. No contract required
Either LTR but no co hab or kids or just spin plates safely and be prepared to shoot em off like a clay pigeon once they start throwing up red flags or trying to nail you down.
I've never met any married people that I looked up to. Most were weird losers that had financial issues - both genders
@@canadiansoviet my father has 4 other siblings. Between them there have been 8 divorces. Fucking 8!
@@canadiansoviet
I would say yes!
You are RIGHT... Again!!!
Nice to see you here Sir. !!!!
Never sign a contract with a person who is rewarded for breaking it.
So simple. So true
Brilliant.
Common Law...
It really is just this plain and simple, but like they say, "there's a sucker born every minute!"
He who creates the contract is the one who benefits
I look back on my marriage after 1 year of separation and 4 years of divorce. The red flags were all there. I'm 47, and what I wouldn't give to have the wisdom I do now. Gentlemen, if you are not good at vetting people, LISTEN to the people around you that aren't looking at the world with your rose colored glasses. If you're going to walk down that aisle, you had better know the risks you are taking. There is very little reward, and if you don't want children, there is absolutely no reason to get married.
You wouldn't buy a cow simply because you want a glass of milk 😂. Stay away from marriage until the law becomes fairer to men, the bias to women is ridiculous, they were put in place when employment for women was scarce, today this is not an issue, a case of old laws governing a new society, no longer fit for purpose.
Outdated and Outrageous.
Well said.
@@manuelhung7571 I heard in other countries the governments are trying incentivize marriages and it still isnt enough for men to want to take that risk!
Why pay full price for something others got for free?
I just told my mother the other day that marriage is an antiquated institution. She and my father divorced 30+ years ago. It was a brutal ordeal for all of us.
Kevin from Sales & Steve from accounting are undefeated. Act accordingly.
Wonder if they work for Rich🤔
Just got back from the boozer after
A decent night with the boys ( entry level week day 3/4 pints ) this odd little community makes me laugh the hardest though , such a funny comment
Hi I'm Steve 🍆
@@mattlofty5884 lol Legit no Joke I work in accounting future CPA here but im not Steve. Glad you cracked one
What about, Jake from state farms?
"Not every woman would, but any woman can."
I will never stop saying that and neither should any of you.
Facts
that's the same thing they say about men and the dreaded 'r' word. It's a generalized statement, and I don't think it helps reconcile the sexes any more than their claim does.
@@aylix2137 - I think the big difference is that a very, very small percentage of men are guilty of the "r" word, but 50% of marriages end in divorce. It's not extremely unlikely that any married man who has kids will end up in a miserable situation. Rich and a lot of other guys who comment here just want other men (especially younger ones) to not have the attitude that, "this is terrible, but it will never happen to me."
@@stevet6665 this is true, and a short, quick statement told to young and/or wary men should reflect that difference. Changing it to say "not all women would, but society and the law is encouraging all women to do so" imo is more representative of the problem. And no one could, without betraying total ignorance or lying through their teeth, say that that is true of how society views the violation of 'r'.
@@aylix2137 - I completely agree.
I can’t believe I’m this lucky to be 20 and get access to all this information for free. I’m going to buy some of your Merch, I’ve already bought your book, to support your content. I’ve gotten some immense value from this content.
Vote with your dollars 👌
Then she’ll smile and give you the come on, and you’ll be like “What book?”
Smart.
Yeah man, I am so jealous of you...
Yup bro, this guy speaks facts. Kevin Samuel is also a good listen. Because you can hear debates he has with women ,and how much of an air heads they can be.
I got divorced in '75 when my son was 18 months old. I got custody, she had to pay child support. I never remarried. I'm now 72 with lots of grandkids, always have been free, do anything I want. Re-marrying would have destroyed my life.
Sounds like you made off pretty well
If you don’t mind me asking, what favored you to win your son!
@@JorgeMartinez-sf8wyhe does mind! - no reply! 😆
Remarrying can be very destructive. You chose wisely.
My divorce cost me nearly 500k, I was plugged in and believed all the lies. Let that be a reminder.
Women only understand your strength and your ability to walk away. As soon as they sense weakness they exploit it until you set them straight or they make you their beta.
The best story I have heard lately was “my grandfather gave my grandma a bike in the first year of their marriage, she wanted a car. She told him this. He said nothing and took the bike back and said “if you can’t be grateful for a gift, then you get nothing” he set the tone early on. They were married for the rest of their lives.” They always test and you need to respond in kind.
God I love this
And you can't even set them straight because the government gives them all the power and protection. It is a losing game. YOU DON'T DO IT.
You give up power and it's hard to get back. I promise you.
Daaamnn Half a million for a divorce??… SMH 🤦🏿♂️
@@zeroplague Damn near impossible.
Years ago I was doing computer work for a client's house and the dad was away and the mom was talking to her friends about getting a divorce and how nice it would be! They were talking about it like guys talk about Sports!! I was like WTF and just could not believe my ears...
When I was growing up in California (early 80’s) I overheard 2 girls talking about what their FIRST husbands would be like. Their second husbands would be rich.
This was in high school. Mom taught them well.
Jesus....just disturbing
@@dariussmith8406 That's why Cali is where it is today - in ruins.
I've heard teen age girls repeating stuff their mothers and others filled their heads with too. I overheard conversations with female coworkers, and even church ladies, and the crazy shit they've said. Lots of women believe this shit and do it. The networking and notes comparing is fantastic.
Never continually look backward at what you lost or at what you once had. That only leads to depression, disappointment, resentment and darkness. If you ever want to regain happiness or just contentment again look forward and make the best of your current situation. The faster you do this the faster you get out of the hole you are in and back in the light.
Thanks bro.
It's hard when you kid...you must push forward with a positive attitude
Wow. This statement is a life saver-literally.
@@MrBstuy I wish I could take claim to it but it was words of advice from 2 different people saying the same thing. One person was falsely imprisoned for years and other was a person who became disabled. Normally these 2 things would be enough to wreck people but wondered how they got through it in one piece and that was the advice they gave.
Wise words.
thanks - was doing very well yesterday , but today absolutely sucked
As a divorced man, I can say I had NO ACCESS to any of this information. I wish I did. Everything he says it's true. You will lose your kids, house, and 65% of monthly income to child support.
None of that was true with me after a 7 year marriage.(1 kid)
U simply didn't plan ahead and now cry about it.. Suck it up , butter cup
@@cpgonewait till your time comes...
@@cpgone what did you do
@@cpgone I’m sure you’re in bliss with a sexy queen.
Truth. It happened to me. I got the nightmare, she got a meal ticket.
When girls turn 14 or 15, their version of "Order 66" Kicks in. Happened all 3 times. To the former stepdaughter, my older daughter, and now my 14 year old. They take their moms side. My 14 year old no longer wants to spend time with me. Even went so far as to warn me if I fly out to visit her there, she will call the police. After having gone through this twice before, I just accept it. Have begun dismantling her room
I am so sorry, but that's always the case. The kids go for the PITY MOM over the good dad. BRUTALLY unfair and terrible for themselves too. But that is our NEW REALITY in today's world. PERIOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, that is brutal
Just remember that they didn't choose to have the inhibitor chip, forgive your daughters but don't forget and remember that you've already given everything that you owed them. A text message every few weeks saying you love her and are thinking about her won't always fall on deaf ears.
Sometimes that changes later when they grow up enough to think for themselves. Keep the door always open for them. Have faith. And good luck.
Man, I truly feel sorry, I have a daughter where I share 50/50. My ex pushed to alienate her. She now outgrew it. My daughter knows now. she feels bad about how she treated me. i hope things work out for you
After my divorce and my wife started trying to cut off my access to my son, I was glad I'd read Mao Zedong's essay "On Protracted War." I determined to stay in my son's life in spite of really difficult odds. And it worked. I had to spend a lot more hours in court than I ever dreamed I would, but eventually she wore down, and now, 25 years later, my son and I have a wonderful, close relationship. It can be done.
Thanks John. I needed to read this. Thanks Brother. God Bless.
Thanks Sir, Im trying my best to be with my daughters.
Doing the same with my daughters
Being of Chinese descent I regard Mao on par with the likes of Stalin and Hitler. Kind of peculiar to think he has anything meaningful to say in this topic.
@@felixt1470 terrible person still can be objectively good strategist, decent philosopher, or at least can give some useful advice about daily life
First mistake....saying he wanted to prove to her he’s the husband she wanted...guys you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. His mindset was already wrong setting the stage for what’s to come next. You are the catch. Never chase.
you are just chasing your own demise and destruction if you are chasing
Men must furiously protect their own happiness, a happy wife is a miserable marriage. Happiness and we'll being trickles down from the man
Chasing women can lead to depression, death, and losing focus on your life. Think before you react fellas
Precisely.
Alphas never get divorced by their wives.
Every divorce I ever saw I'd predicted beforehand.
Nobody who kept her in line amongst my circle of friends ever got divorced.
I thought the same... he already put himself below her before the marriage started
"DO NOT" EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GET MARRIED.
BECAUSE THE ODDS AND THE LAW ARE NOT IN YOUR SIDE !!!
I watched my dad go though a nasty divorce with my mom when I was 13, I'm 30 know. I also saw how my mom used me and my 2 younger sister during the divorce process. I didn't understand it at the time, but I do know. Don't get married guys, just spin plates and enjoy your life. You only get 1 life, that's it.
I really hope for you all that you kind of restored your relationship with your father now and that hes still happy-ish with that...
@@martincote3042 My dad never truly left me and my sisters. I was at his house last weekend we were fishing off his dock and drinking beer with one of my sisters. I love my dad to death and so do my sisters, he is a great man.
Thank you dear lady.
Men here but i appreciate the truthful words
I can relate. I'm 31 now. Parents divorced when I was young and I realize now how my mother used me as a pawn to extort my father for money. My mother calls me a bad son for resenting her. She has no idea why.
One piece of advice I ignored but now live by - "Never marry someone you wouldn't want go through a divorce with". My ex was a lamb in the beginning, a wolf in sheeps clothing during the marriage, and a rabid, hungry wolf bent on destroying every part of me after she knew I wanted out.
But this is the problem - if she was a true lamb in the beginning, you couldn't have possibly seen this coming. Best advice for men today is to never get married at all. Even if they want children, there are better alternatives.
All women turn greedy in a divorce. Don't expect her to be fair, she wants 95% of the marital assests.
@@HenrySomeonexactly!
You’re always dating the “representative” in the beginning.
So now I keep it that way… dating eternally. If the wolf comes out, I change the locks… BYE!
Easy peasy
@@neomacchio4692 Precisely. Sure, if most men started to adopt this approach (which they should for their own good!), it doesn't exactly spell bright future for the society, but we're not to blame here.
lol !! funny.
I really wish people knew it wasn't half....its 70-75% per paycheck. 25% CS , 20-25% alimony, then uncle sam 20-37% taxes. Plus never seeing the kids lol.
This is worse than Hell
@Billy Corgan's Ego They don't care. If you can't pay, if you quit your job, if you lose your job, they will just throw you in jail. Then they will charge you for your stay and compile the missed payments against you. All the while the ex will be turning your kids against you, how much of a deadbeat you are. You'll have no prospects of getting your life in order, your kids will hate you, and the State will still treat you like you tried to join ISIS.
Good grief! What state do you live in? I was a stay at home mom in a 10-year marriage whose husband abruptly left the marriage for someone else, leaving me with no income, no savings, rent to pay, and I got joint 50/50 custody, $200/month CS and $0 alimony.
I mean, I guess it all depends on the state?
Taxes are deducted after garnishments. This isn't accurate
I just had a buddy ask me to be in his wedding a week ago. I have already been in 10 weddings and 7 ended up in disaster. I'm seriously considering not showing up because this one is gonna be worse than the other ones I've been in.
Well, save him then, nitwit! What's the point of learning the trajectory if us men are going to encourage this behavior?
@@missioncontrol2881 Point well taken. I've been trying my ass off to do just that but I can't seem to connect with him.
@@missioncontrol2881 save him? Lol good luck with that. If there’s already a wedding date he’s in too deep.
@@greatlakes4753 Respect
@@Ryan-ec6gq , lol....
I'm in the middle of it. Mediation is on Friday and I know what's coming. I'm fully prepared to walkout with only the clothes on my back. It's all about the long game fellas. Kids grow up. Time is on the man's side. Just gonna focus on being a dad when I'm able and working on myself and growing my business. If you look at it properly, all she did was give me more time to be a better man without her getting in the way. She just created a monster.
That’s right brother. That’s the attitude. It’ll get better. Much better
If you don't mind me asking did you get a prenup?
100%
Hard to do, but that’s really the only route… however it’s MUCH MORE DIFFICULT if you have recently acquired some wealth and assets through much sacrifice and hard work. Much harder.
get a solid lawyer fight her tooth and nail
I’m divorced with 3 kids. I’ve been through it all. Lawyer bills, CS, alimony. I studied the law extensively and I’m well educated. blah blah blah. At the end of the day, The only thing that men can do to make things better for the future is to teach the young men around you to never marry or have children. Avoid the system entirely.
But you do pay.... Single men have the biggest ratio in paying the most and taking the least in welfare.
@@TomNook. Good!! Single MEN should never be on welfare!! Single men should be strong, smart, and well educated. They can work any job and can always improve!! 99.9% of single men have no excuse to not be successful!!!! If a single man is not working he is most likely mentally ill, or has a medical condition that makes it so he can not work! Those are the exception not the norm!!!
Getting married is ridiculous but not having kids is the biggest bitch move in the world. Don’t let “them” take that from you.
@@TomNook. I concur, they will tax single men to pay for everyone else’s mistakes. Get a passport and check out nomad capitalist’s channel.
@@gottspeed3914 LOL have you ever had to deal with a child support agency and/or been on the receiving end of the penalties for failure to pay? Be honest.
No thanks. For the better part of 40 years I've watch friends, family, coworkers repeat a similar scenario. I'm not sponsoring someone else.
@@airheadusmc3821 😂😂 marines man
@@airheadusmc3821 I'm told being married as a marine is soul-destroying
Great advice Richard. I went through a divorce 10 years ago at that the time my girls were 8 and 11. They sided with Mom and actually treated me quite badly. I realize they were just kids and going through a hard time. My first Christmas without them I ate dinner in my car outside a convenience store in the cold and snow. I contemplated suicide. Stay strong brother, good times are ahead. I made every decision with their best interest in mind. Now they're 18 and 21 and we have an amazing relationship. They like spending time with me, I'm a big influence in their life. They turned out to be amazing young women. Hang in there do the right thing for your children. When they grow up and can think for themselves things will be different.
Your story is similar to mine, I've been struggling very much, is now 7months without my family (one boy 5 years old) I am thinking of ending my life, with a hard depression, but now I read your story, I think I have hope for improve, thanks for sharing...💪😇
Kala Bala, surround yourself with positive like minded people. If you are thinking bad thoughts reach out for support. I will be praying for you.
My husband is going through this with his young adult daughter. He was domestically abused by the mother- not just his words it’s been verified by everyone even their mutual friends. He’s a massive guy but never hit back because he’s very old fashioned. The train wreck of a mother never took the daughter anywhere, it was always dad going to birthday parties, theme parks and school events. They had a very close bond but when he dared to walk away after the drunken ex clawed his face off she has taken the mother’s side. Both the daughter and mother only ever get in touch to verbally abuse him and demand thousands that he apparently ‘owes’ them. Don’t underestimate how well a woman can manipulate her kids to hate you.
Destination money I'm sorry your husband is dealing with this situation. it's sad how an ex can poison their children with lies. she's probably mad that he found a better woman. continue to do everything in the best interest of his daughter and someday she will see the truth. God bless the both of you.
@@ralphcoccio3799 to be honest, I used to encourage a relationship between them, ask if he wanted me to get her gifts etc and encourage him to check up on her. Her last message, however, I don’t even mention her anymore. She threatened to report her dad to the inland revenue (IRS in USA) for ‘fraud’ and tax evasion. He runs his own sawmill and there’s a lot of cash involved but pays his dues. His replies to her are so bloody simpy (hence why I’m on this channel as a woman). He never loses his temper or gives her boundaries just basically begs to be in her life. Hopefully I can get some good advice here and subtly suggest it to him.
i tell men that when you have a woman just be aware it's just your turn. don't take it personally and don't be mad and don't get too emotionally attached. you are not special. it's just your turn. prepare your exit strategy before you go all in. do what women do and have backups which is a good idea imo. enjoy her while you still have her. make good memories and when things come to an end just accept it w/grace and move on.
I have had my share of bad breakups but the fear of divorce has kept me from ever getting married. I hope this guy keeps his sanity through all of this.
Same here
Good don’t do it it is a nightmare
Wow, this guy's story mirrors mine quite closely except I kept a lot less than 50% to avoid paying her alimony and maintain 50/50 custody. we also fell out of love but I was more committed at the end of the day. She rushed our divorce so she could bang her recently divorced doctor and not have the stigma of an affair. he dumped her in a year. I'm raising my boys to understand how females think, their mom couldn't be a better example.
she will regret losing her family someday, bet you
Just be careful. Some lawyers can get them to show that you are "poisoning" the children against them. And if they can get them to repeat any red pill phrases to the court depending on the judge they might be able to target you. Just look at how media platforms attack red pill channels and commentators.
FYI, divorce, abortion is ILLEGAL in the Phils, Women can be charged with adultery while men can be charged with concubinage.
All women are NOT just like the mother of your children. And all females do not behave and think the way she does. So sorry for what you've been through.
@@robyndismon394 Statistics seem to say most are, and even if they don't start that way, many change into that. Hence the marriage statistics being what they are. Marriage for a man is a fools gamble. True, a man could find a unicorn that will work hard with him, and they could live happily ever after. It's unlikely though, and the cost is far too high to chance those three card monty odds.
Great tip. Don’t sulk. I wasted 5 years of my life in depression. Mind you my kids were being abused and was helpless to do anything about it until the courts had at least 10 police reports documented.
Time is precious. Accept your situation. Make the most of it.
You have described my life after marriage with kids. But now I have never got married again. My youngest kid finally turned 18. Now 51 and I have never been happier in my life. Thank you for telling the truth about marriage. I wish the best of luck to all the men out there. Protect yourself.
Going through this now. Two kids 4 and 11 and no interest in starting a relationship from scratch. I will be here when she has nowhere else to go but I'm not replacing my wife, the mother of my children and focusing all my energy on me and kids. Women's love from their husband is conditional but unconditional with kids. So sad and shallow
I just wanna say I’m grateful for this channel, I’m 22 years old and never really struggled with women for most of my life, but it’s apparent to me now more than ever that women are literally adult children who bring very little to the table apart from sex and occasionally friendship. Channels like these are a godsend in today’s world where any valid criticism towards women is met with backlash.
You are very wise for such young age, don't get married unless you have a good prenup!!!
Once a new man comes into their life , they will take everything they can from you before they go on to the next!!!
Good for you....
I wish had someone telling me this when I was 22..
It's just what laws are designed that way... which made woman to go crazy on that cake..
So watch out and be very very careful..
@@hardwork2666 No prenup is good enough to make marriage worth it and that's if the wife doesn't manage to get it thrown out in court.
I can give you some tenets to live by when you do find a woman. Never let her talk down to you, when it eventually happens you don’t argue or even say anything just let her be abusive and take a walk. Never I mean NEVER show weakness in emotion, it’s the same as her being masculine it’s a big turn off so save it for make friends. Never invest more in her than yourself because if she sees you not valuing yourself she will see no value in you. And yes I’ve made all these mistakes😂
If you ask a woman what her type is. She won’t describe the man she’s with
Imagine where it has been the tradition for a young man to run across a field to get to the other side. After doing that, he is classified as a man. In the 1940s, the government starts to place active land mines in that field (family court). Each year more and more mines. Now it is impossible to get across without being blown up. Would you follow 'tradition'?
What a great analogy!
Women would think twice about cheating and leaving their husband if the system was fair and not on their favor all the time.
That's why pre nups can be a good thing even though portrayed a bad
In NC, women don’t get a darn thing if the court deems them as a cheater.
I say this all the time. Why try to make something work if you win regardless of what happens
What I would add:
1. Always be a gentleman, especially around the children. (It's the key)
2. Realize that the younger the child the less time they've had to fully bond with you post divorce. That causes distancing.
3. Understand, as Rich has said, that the system is rigged against you. Again, slow deep breathing exercises. (at the very least)
4. Know that many moms will manipulate the children to trash you as a way of justifying their bad behavior.
5. Be prepared to be left out of many of the children's milestones ie., birthdays, graduations etc. This is heart wrenching of course but hopefully, not always, as time goes by they will say: 'you know my dad went through a lot of heartache but I still love him and know he loved me.
Thank you for taking the time to write this. This post is thoughtful and true. It sucks, but it is good to know others have the same plight.
Bill Moss. Your #4, manipulation, is called Parental Alienation and is child abuse. And if brought to the attention of court and a competent GAL, can result in counseling and Alienated (targeted) parent primary placement, even for a couple months.
@@PBVader as Rich said it’s so stacked against you. I’ve been there. They want to control you by getting you to play their game. Accept your situation for what it is and work on yourself with your extra time.
@@ericraber1214 no, not with a special needs child in the picture. I'll be damned if I budge an inch.
no, just fo, wake up guys cmon 😒
Life is hard for both Men and Women.
However when you have mountains of legislations shielding women from accountability by rewarding them for their failures marriage becomes a landslide defeat for men.
All of this shit honestly makes me wonder what the point of even trying is. I dont want my life to be a repeat of this guys or any of the other countless guys that have suffered through this nightmare.
You can still have relationships and marriage... just no civil union or legal marriage. Strictly ceremonial with the state uninvolved. If she won't agree to that you know there's an ulterior motive
@OrganicOrganist No, if you stay in Poland, Taiwan, or Japan, not only are the women traditional, the West laws don't apply should it go south.
*This is a tricky situation* . I've seen men marry Asian or Eastern European women and it turns out OK. I've also seen men (particularly in the U.S. Military) bring a 'traditional Asian woman' back to the U.S. with them for marriage after a deployment, and she eventually became fem-in-ized and divorced him after a few years. She got cash, prizes, citizenship, and the kids on the way out -- and all that was left of the husband is a smoking crater.
*Bottom line is* -- Don't sign the marriage contract, ever. Commit long term if you want, but make sure to thoroughly vet her by seeing if she consistently exudes traditional values. Do not involve the state.
@@diapersFTMFW11 nope, common law marriage
@@persona-non-grata Who said anything about marriage and bringing them back to the US. I'm talking about having girlfriends and staying overseas. I have several and they are fiercely loyal. Baby the heck out of me. They are free to cheat but choose not to. As yes, Asian woman are traditional and submit to their man. Not my fault all you guys have access to are masculine overweight entitled American girls.
You're spot on, I relate to this. I was married for 23 years and same thing happened to me. Got divorced 2 years ago, lost everything and starting all over again financially. Thanks for sharing this 🙏
what did you lose can you put it in numbers if you can? I really want to get a full picture since I understand things in numbers more.
If you don't mind me asking did you have a prenup? So sorry to hear that
Yep. Friend of mine bought a house for almost a million $$ (US). Within weeks his wife wanted a divorce. He's out the house and living in a little rental. She's still in it, and is entitled by law to live in it until the 4 year old child is 18.
And I bet that he still has to pay for the house that he's not allowed to live in.
@@idontcare9797 Oh yeah, he has to pay until the kid is 18. After that she has to sell and split the money.
@@Uvraywhat state?
All hell goes loose. Married within weeks????? Damn she had it all laid out plan lol. I have good living. Single. I’ll skip marriage thank u . Lol😊
I'm 23 and thank god I'm watching this now... Bought your book as a thank you! Keep doing the lord's work
Im so sorry to all my brothers who have gone/ going through this mess. Just remember, you only have to get through this life and that’s it, our real home is on the other side with the creator. Just get yourself through it all best you can, and realise self deleting is not an option.
@@quantumpotential7639 there goes that typical Atheist 😂
I had the best separation and divorce experience you could probably imagine. Ex was hard working, didn't want $$, believed you worked for what you got etc didn't cost me a cent. All amicable, though I was on edge until the end because I knew she held the power. No way would I ever suggest marriage. And I would never do it again. I consider that I went over Niagara Falls and lived to tell the tale, I wouldn't try my luck a second time.
@Kaushik Chakraborty Yeah I know, it didn't work out, but the wife wasn't a bad broad.
Wow that's great that she didn't burn your finances. Did you have a prenup?
@@rickstevenson267 No, she just wasn't a bad chick in that sense. Had a really strong conviction that you had to earn what you got in life.
@@sccroobyj4024 Great to hear. Thievery is spousal support, I can't believe that courts award spousal support to the cringiest situations, literally a wife can file divorce literally for a reason I want a hot younger guy, and be awarded spousal support as well receive assets 50/50. I'm trying to find statistics of how often women file for spousal support, I believe it's around 12%. Still so scary
I'm really curious, for a woman who apparently understood the value of effort and was not monetizing marriage, what led to your divorce?
Always remember this: if someone wants something bad enough, they can always tell you exactly what they know you want to hear to seal the deal. Up to and including “till death do us part.” They are just words and the divorce stats prove it.
As a guy in my 50s looking back at my life I can truly say I made a lot of mistakes. I did however get a rock solid prenup and 80% custody after the fact.
This video is gold, hit home on so many levels. 10 yrs marriage, 3 kids and now at the end of this divorce, which I have a pre-nup, thank God. The video tells the FACTS about what happens when you have kids with an X-wife. This women is basically playing the EXACT game leverage with the kids. I am paying full child support according to NY law and she still is trying to restrict my access to my kids. I am in a custody issue where I want to see my kids every other weekend and a couple of nights during the week, which the court will most likely grant, but the kicker is my wife brainwashed my kids (10, 8, and 5) to only want to see me on Saturdays, one night a week. These kids Iam extremely close to from day 1, which I even cut the cord on all of them. I was always a good father, living for my kids and did nothing but good for them always and now this is the only way she can hurt me, is through this manipulation.I recently did exactly what Rich says .. I came to this reality that this is what it is. Its a hard pill to swallow to surrender when you are in this type of situation, but really you have no choice. So now, I see my kids one day out of the week, not even for a sleep over night because this is "what they want". I am not going to force my kids to be with me, she won this battle, but be sure, I will win the war in the end. She is giving me the time to evolve myself past this situation to the point where she won't even know who I am anymore. The new chapter starts now.
How’s ur new life? Still see ur kids once a week?
@@ruanorafa no way he's onto the next wife with more kids
A lot of it is it takes two people to make a living nowadays and when your old lady is spending 8hrs plus with other dudes an attraction is going to happen and if you're lucky enough to have a stay at home wife she gets bored and starts looking at guys online its just the world we live in now
For sure
1) Marriage is IPO for women
2) Divorce is cashing out.
3) Children produces passive income for women enforced by the government
One million supporters for this legend.
My advice to this young man. I got divorced 30 years ago after 4 years of marriage with 2 young daughters. Cost me 7 figures. Was happily single rest of my life. That divorce was the best money I ever spent.
You mean it was a great experience because you learned early ? And how the rest of your life was ? I mean you had a lot of great experiences ?
Wow did you have a prenup?
@@rickstevenson267 Yes I had a prenup. Kept house and my business. Alimony, child support was a killer. Prenups are better these days but not foolproof. Look at Bezos, Gates, etc. What assets you acquire while married will usually be community property regardless of a prenup
@@michaelh4720 Jesus, so I understand prenups protect premarriage assets, but can't prenups void spousal support? I find it ridicuoulous to pay spousal support even with a prenup
@@rickstevenson267 Laws are different now but even so no guarantee. My second marriage I had prenup that said no spousal support and no community property. She took me to court that she should get support until divorce was final which takes a year in California. I spent 6 figures in attorney fees fighting her. I finally just gave her 50K to go away. There is no such thing as a bullet proof prenup. Just don't get married and don't cohabitate.
I thank God EVERY day I didn't get my ex-wife pregnant, or any other women for that matter. Devastated at the time till I learned about female nature now after being single for almost 5 years now never been happier
Joe Plem I thank god every single day as well brother. Dated 3 different girls in the past 10 years, and thank GOD a child didn’t come out of it.
No women are innocent. No matter how angelic, sweet, understanding, lovable she appears.
I got out of my marriage cheap. It only cost me 100k, but I don't have to pay her ever again. It was worth every cent.
100k??
@@robreadinger5340 yes, I had to take over her credit card debt, pay her alimony, and give her 60k from my 401k. I was fortunate that she was reasonable. And oh ya, she committed adultery and was with the dude that she cheated on me with. I had to make her comfortable while she had sex with other men. 😂 👍 I had a friend sell his business for a 150k. He was forced to give her 120k of that. She had nothing to do with the business. Nothing. But my ex is out of my life. That saved me money in the long term.
@@robreadinger5340 and if I didn't pay that alimony, I would have been arrested and incarcerated. No joke. Every week, I had to pay her a hundred dollars for five years.
@@robreadinger5340 and I have friends who were paying their cheating, lying ex-wives 300 plus dollars per week. One had to do that for 15 years and his wife cheated a whole bunch of times, plus he lost half his pension.
What price freedom?
First rule: Never share a checking account or credit card. NEVER.
Second Rule: Never let her know how much you are worth dead.
Third: Never share an inheritance. Buy something and keep it in your name only.
No man should be loyal to any feminist western country. If you have resources you can do this by 1) acquire a second citizenship, often very cheaply, especially if you are of Irish, Italian, Polish, Lithuanian or Latvian etc descent. Do it now. Don't wait till the heat is on 2) spare funds should be kept outside your country of residence-this is more difficult than before but still possible. Form a Ras Al Khaimah company and place funds in banks in any or many countries in the UAE. They have the best banking secrecy and western countries are scared to put pressure on them for information, for obvious reasons which I won't spell out 3) take a loan against your house and externalize the funds 4) lease meaningless toys like sportscars etc. if you have to have them.
When you get served with divorce papers like I did you calmly tell them you will be on the next plane out the country (more difficult at present of course) but still possible. They will be pleased to sign off on any reasonable offer. You are now in control of what the ex-spouse and child or children need. As a bonus you are also protected from any other frivolous law suits.
Thankfully in my state, inheritance is not marital property and does not get divided AS LONG AS you never co-mingle it. Keep that money in its own account that only you have access to.
Nah set up a company and trust buy it in that and dont tell her it exists. If its a house say u rent it
@@tysonbrown1277 In a divorce you must divulge all your financial assets and investments. If you don't the judge can hold you in contempt, and you can be fined or jailed. It's no joke. Prenup is the only way to go.
@@matt3950 but its not yours its the companies and your just the trustie of the trust
We celebrated 30 years of marriage yesterday! Much of the wisdom of our success can be found on this channel. Great job of educating young men of the often brutal reality of marriage and divorce.
I just celebrated 36 years of marriage with a divorce.
@@davidpirozzi4684 Ouch!
Lol as a steel worker I can relate to the physical struggle
I’m 10 years out the other end and it still sucks. Thanks for what you do Rich.
In Portugal, were I was born and raised, in 2016 the divorce rate reached a staggering 73%, I was 15 at the time and since I saw that I decided that marriage is something that is definetly out of my plan
I may be young, but I see that marriage is a prison for men, it's like having a big ball and chain tied up to the man's leg that its so damn tight that if he leaves he has A LOT to loose
How to prevent that?
Don't get married
Period
é isso bro. não foca na mulher. fica em ti e a tua missão.
Fez bem porque as leis aqui protegem a mulher sempre. Uma juiza do tribunal de menores disse-me na cara q ia dar a guarda do meu filho à mãe "porque é mulher", apesar de eu ter muito melhores condições. Se eu soubesse o que sei hoje... um forte abraço!
@@JulianBoyer exato bro
@@pedrocoentro2009 forte abraço amigo!
A luta continua✊
If you can be 35, not married, not committing to any women, financially stable, in shape, get your shit together and healthy. You will be the most powerful man on earth . You old enough to obtain such power and young enough to enjoy it and do the picking.
Yup...I got royally screwed in my divorce. I fought it and fought it and finally had to give up. I was/is depressing and it is a constant state of distress and I still have a hard time with it two and a half years later...
Hey msn if you don’t mind me asking... what happened and how Can men avoid this?
@@TheMainMan364 as a divorced man with very limited access to my kids, my advice to avoid this is DONT GET MARRIED!!!
Surrender to reality.
Try to have the talk.
Use your spare time.
Adapt.
Avoid pity.
I’m 32 and worked hard, I love spending time with my kids, put my dreams and aspirations on hold to make my family happy. And guess what she started an affair with my friend while I worked out of town to save up to get a place back home. Don’t get married and put yourself first. And don’t let the downs of life put you on hold. I’ve known and heard of so many promiscuous girls. Don’t believe you found a unicorn for a moment. Hope this helps some people out. And thanks for the vids Rich, they’ve helped a lot!
I got divorced at about 20 years old in about 1978 ,daughter was about 2 shortly after divorce x came up pregnant, she said it wasn't mine ,I knew there was a chance it was, she put the baby up for adoption and made it impossible for me to see my child, after a while I quit trying,went to a lawyer, he basically told me that I was screwed after some months x finally called and allowed me to visit it was rough times I almost didn't make it .Met a wonderful women that helped me get back up and thrive ,I now wave a close relationship with my daughter and the boy that was given up for adoption, Neather has had anything to do with the x in 15 years she's had her 3rd divorce . While I've been married for over 42 years to a woman that treats me like she couldn't live without me .
Time has shown me to be the Victor !
I now have 7 grandchildren and feel blessed
Oh man, what would you say was the difference between your current wife and your x? Is it better vetting or just luck that she turned out this great or was it some trick you picked up to be a better man/ husband?
My almost 32 and never been married, and I have never seen a marriage that made me want to get married. I have saved up a lot of money and I'm free to do what I want and I have time for myself. I have been in relationships in the past and I am glad that I saw the light of how disposable we are to women and how they constantly lie to us. I'm a good guy so the chances of me getting divorce are high. Thinking about the state of men and marriage makes me feel like a runaway fugitive trying to escape the social norms of submitting to the governmental institution of marriage (indentured servitude).
All I got was games and rejection from women.. I just take care of me that is it..
And the TRUTH shall set you free! Well said! I wish I'de knew all this years ago...
Notice they change after giving birth to your child( if it is yours) usually after the third child is when the guilt sets in on her because..... Your not the daddy.
@ proven patriot It would shock a woman if they told her that she'll be required to submit a paternity test before having the so called father sign the birth certificate... That should be required with EVERY birth of a child.
@@sj122s spot on!!! 👍
Some people tell me I need to hurry up and settle down. How can I settle down with all these men's wives and girlfriends throwing themselves at me?
Consider yourself lucky , u could b one of them 😀
Correction. 50/50 custody and equal parenting schedule doesn’t not change child support obligations. How do I know? It happened to me. They now use the child support system as spousal support in disguise.
This happened to me & I swear they didn’t mention spousal support. I was under the assumption it was child support.
Ive been through this, after 16 years of marriage and 3 kids... She files for divorce, never any violence or bad stuff reason, just no love left... She wouldn't continue with the status quo, so we divorced, of course it went her way... and she does use the kids against me. My best advise, forget the kids, and move on with your own life. You ex at some point will regret the divorce and be angry with herself, and redirect that anger at you.. through the kids.... DIS-ARM HER.... be completely devoid of connection to your kids. It will drive the ex nuts... Look at things this way, look at your own brothers and sisters... and parents, if you were not blood relations, how many would you really be friends with???? The same is true for your own kids... They will grow to be adults.. the difference is, how will they remember YOU and your wife, as you moved through this phase... Your wife is saying bad things about you, that is for sure, there is nothing you can do about it... One day... maybe, your kids will mature, and come back to you. If they dont, so be it. My ex is a 'hater' and now my three kids are hatters too... I avoid these kinds of people, and no, I dont try to fix haters. Move on with your life... Your PURPOSE in life is done, you have created children, where they go from there, is up to them. You will end up, happier, more sane, and say out of prison.
Damn. Bro came with some cutthroat brutal honesty
This happened to me, hard to move on without the kids, but I had too. Life is bigger than family and marriage. Husband had an affair and his new wife left her husband for mine and raised my boys to call her “ Mom” and hate me. So sad. I had such a beautiful love for my children. Now they are young adults and never hear from them. I live in a beautiful home in CA on the ocean. This doesnt matter to them. Im so sorry this happened to you. I hope you have hope in the future. 🙌🏼
@@time4peace726 Maybe... maybe the 'purpose' of our lives is just to create the 'next' generation... maybe.. one of your offspring had a destiny bigger than yours. I see my marriage/kids, as a necessary destination on my map of my life, but it doesnt end with them. Life is like an elevator ride, sometimes you have to stop and let some people off.
So sorry to hear this happened to you man!!! I am going through a divorce. I hope this doesn't happen to me. I don't think ex is doing this. The kids are always happy to see me when I video call. I'm 2400 miles from them. If I'm lucky, I might get to see them 1 month out of the year. My kids are awesome, and to be honest, it's killing me most of the time. It's hard to get out of bed somedays. But they need me, so I just have to keep going.
My marriage fell apart after 8 yrs and yes she initiated it women’s first signs of it is the cutting off the sex - she knew that would trigger me to want to divorce
Heard of a case where a woman not only cut off sex but she hired a detective to follow her husband so that she could get a better deal in court.
I think some women get married and think 'oh great, I can now outsource all responsibilty for my own happiness to this dude'.
Should be labeled... “MOST Father’s Divorce Nightmare”
My dad always told me a woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man can with his pants down lol. I’m sure there’s some kind of metaphor in there
"Simping to biblical proportions". the best of the week. From a guy in a similar situation. I had to let go or I would go crazy. Its not fair at all. Thank you and big hug from Portugal 🇵🇹
Marriage only seems to work if there are many shared interests between husbands and wives. Couples I know that stay married for decades have shared interests in bodybuilding, fishing, shooting, travelling, sports, and enjoy socializing with each other's families and friends. Marriage also requires a lot of humility from both partners, to defuse annoyances that always arise from living in close quarters with another person. If one partner doesn't have it, the marriage will be weak, and if neither has it, the marriage is doomed.
My parents are still happy after 36 years and they don't have a damn thing in common. So I'm not sure that's the ticket.
@@Eye_of_Horus Maybe the only thing they have in common is that nobody else would marry them, so they married each other. Not trying to be sarcastic. I have seen that happen when people who seem strange to everybody else stay with each other.
@@alansewell7810 My mom was quite beautiful, both were previously married also. So I don't think that's the case. Come to think of it, I know quite a few married couples who seem to be doing alright that don't have much in common with each other. It would appear it isn't necessary, but sure it would be nice. I think far more important than common interests is common values/goals.
My old boss for instance doesn't do anything but work. His wife likes to go hiking and kayaking. He doesn't do any of that. They eat dinner together, and bedroom activities. That's about it. 15 years strong.
My dad plays on the computer all day and my mom watches mystery crime shows (both retired). They eat together and once in awhile will watch a show together. My dad says they still have fun in the bedroom.
@@Eye_of_Horus It sounds like they're a couple decent people who liked each other and decided that's good enough to stay married. It's good to see mature-minded people appreciate what they have in a relationship. As opposed to Rich Cooper's idea, which is mostly true, that immature women are always "monkey branching" to other partners, as are a lot of immature men.
@@alansewell7810 it is definitely not the norm. A marriage's chances of passing 30 years are about 20% based on stats. While some of that is going to be deaths, if you look up stats for how many marriages reach 10, 20, 30, etc years, you will see that it dramatically reduces as time goes on and the majority of reason is divorce. While the generally accepted rate of divorce is around 40-50%, they usually only figure this from the first 15 years. At 20 years the divorce rate reaches 50%. Over 30 years its even higher. And this doesn't take into account unhappy couples who dont divorce. So while my parents seem to be doing alright, they are the exception at 36 years, and Rich isn't wrong in steering men away from marriage. The stats don't support it considering how women initiate divorce at twice or three times the rate of men, and how much worse divorce effects men, (suicide rate for divorced men goes up 800%), its not a good bet for a man. But I also don't think men are that great on their own long term.
Life is way too short to get divorced guys, spread the word and save our brothers.
as a gambling man, i'll never get into a contract where the odds are stacked against me. you're basically taking a 50/50 risk to lose everything with nothing to gain if it doesn't end in divorce
I’m 25 years old in the military. I’ve felt pressure to get married multiple times but reading these comments really makes me reconsider. My only question is, what will I do when I’m older with no kids or wife at home. Overall depressing
Depressing?? You're a man there's many things you can do in your quality time. Never rely on a woman to make you happy.
You can do all the things you planned without getting legally married. Consult an attorney.
Man! You can easily marry a gorgeous Colombian or Phillipino 21 year old Babe when you are 45 and millionaire. Just continue working hard, stay in shape and the correct woman will come to your life after 45.
Right woman when you are a millionaire? That sounds like a gold digger than a right woman to me lol
I know many guys who’ve essentially walked away from their kids after divorce so they can’t be used as leverage against them. No risks of being accused of this or that when trying to visit either. Besides, the kids’ minds will be poisoned against the dad in most cases anyway. They still pay their child support to stay out of prison, though. Sometimes a divorced guy just needs to cut his losses before the shite really hits the fan.
I concur. This would be a great subject for one of the prominent ones to talk about.
So true. Trying to stay in the kids' lives is emotional despair and at the end, the children will hate you despite any mountain of sacrifice.
I surrendered in 1997. Saw too many of my fellow mechanics obliterated in divorce court. So I gave up on mattiage.
It's not all bad though. Decades of accumulating my surplus mechanic wages stacked up and now I'm a millionaire. I do enjoy being wealthy. Doesnt make up for the cancer but at least I can afford the treatments.
Hope you recover brother 🙏
My ex wife mentioned divorce in an argument. So I took her up on it. Found she had already signed up with a lawyer. So I filed first without warning. Had assets worth near £750K. Had five attempts at sabotaging my car to cause a crash. Ended up poisoned with antifreeze, stage 4 renal failure, peeing blood, eye sight damage, central nervous system damage. Culminated in a heart attack. Be careful gents. You never know who you’re living with! I’m good now. Divorced five yrs, heathy as hell, 70Lbs lighter, more hair, better looking, can pull 9’s and 10’s. Since took her to family court, represented myself, took in two barristers, won my case and have majority custody! It’s a long game. Play it for your benefit but be prepared to walk away from everything if you’re forced to. The health consequences aren’t worth it
I'm married. I don't follow that happy wife happy life BS. I let her know I'll have no problems leaving and replacing her. When she complains about me implying I'm not a catch (however she wants to word it) I tell her if she believes that, go file, and I'll sign. I also notice, if I treat her too nice, sex drops.. so I will start treating her like shit and what do you know.. sex picks back up. It's sad really.. I would be happy to treat her nicely.. but that isn't how women work, and nice isn't what they emotionally respond to. She doesn't even understand this.. if she did, we wouldn't be playing this stupid games.
How can you be intimate with some knowing all this about her? How do you manage to do that?
It's a torture being with someone like that. I wish you the best tho
Its crazy how that being nice thing rings very true.
I naturally want to be nice, do things so that the other person doesnt have to, go the extra mile ect. But doing that just backfires. Ive slowly learned that with women being nice is more often than not just seen as being weak, it causes respect to be lost. No good deed goes unpunished
It's a difficult situation, I remember when it happened to me, she tryed to use me as an ATM, and I tryed to give her everything for the kids, until she reached 75% of my income. I told her that same day, 'one more cent, and I'll spend all my money, capital and resources so she never could see another cent and even the kids will suffer and I'll don't f### care', so, we went to another negociation and I got her to agree to 45% of my income.
For every other man that is going through this, I wish them the best of luck, it's hard but you also need resources to live, and to do your stuff.
In my country if you don't get an agreement with your ex, you have to wait 3 years to get divorced, so I'll start the process on the end of this year, wish me luck!.
Great videos and advices!.
Greatings from Chile!
I wouldn't be shocked either as the kids get older and his ex-wife tells her kids what a horrible man their dad was and is.
Yep
Good friends wife trashed him to the kids for years. Took the kids awhile to realize she was crazy.
For sure. But one day when kids are grown enough they will see the reality
Thank u for posting this video. Surrendering to what is, is the hardest part of this scenario. Wanting to be there for ur kids, having them be “taken away?” and then literally being legally exploited is the height of injustice. Knowing that I’m not going thru it alone helps, and giving myself permission to just...move on...is empowering. It still hurts and angers me, but at least I can let go of the guilt of moving forward with my life. Thanks Rich. 👍
To make a long story short I have custody of my son and she pays me $350 a month. Yes she cheated on me. Yes she stopped coming for my son. I heard a good saying “ The person you marry is not the same person you divorce” God Bless!!!
Thank you Rich. I have listened to most of your podcasts and just ordered your book. Again, thank you for all you have done to help so many men. Keep up the great work brotha
When I was divorced I told my ex that if she came after me for alimony and the house and everything she could, I would leave the country and go to work for some of my international partners. She knew I was serious too so it was an amicable divorce.
did you move?
@@AfroMedic No she didn't try to pursue alimony, it worked out well for her, she had 10 years free in one of the rental houses.
@@rrmackay what about child support and all that stuff people say. I am thinking now I just want to have a career and hookup with hoes. I want to have kids but I think I will go back to Africa to do that.
@@AfroMedicShe didn't hit the door until our youngest son turned 18 so we didn't have child support issues. I would agree that having a child outside of US jurisdiction is a smart move but be careful as family in foreign nations can be as bad as any divorce court. Shotgun weddings to come to mind.
When I went through my divorce, my dad gave me some sage advice. 1. You are nothing more than a paycheck. 2. You are a man, you don't get to be happy.
how you getting on now?
@@John_Wood_ as a man we are expendable. So we need to make our selves happy and not rely on outside sources to make you happy.
Number 2 is hard , but true. Also remember as a man , "Nobody is coming."
That’s so sad to hear your dad say that. Not every woman sees a guy like that! I’m praying for a Proverbs 31 woman in the Bible for you to find. She is worth far more then silver and gold!
Incredible advice. Recognizing and surrendering to the situation you’ve put yourself in is so critical to getting your life back on course. The past is written, the only thing that can be changed is now. I wish I had this information 5 or 6 years ago when I could have really used it.
Get Up. Dust Off. Reload. Recalibrate. Re-engage.
I've had part and recently full custody of my kids. She moved with her BF 10 hours away a year ago and judge gave ME full custody. Thing is, because of the changing situation, now she'll have full custody, that I reluctantly agreed as the "lesser evil" choice from next year on for my kids. But not only will I see them very little, another man will be with them more than me. Oh yeah that stings. Strangely though, less so than when I saw his face once at my previous house the ex kept (and... sold). Seeing another man acting like a king in your previous home and family is enough to make someone with any balls go violent. He sure could sense it and kept his damn mouth shut. Adapt and overcome.
@@MrMann-wg9rw I appreciate the concern. But one of my kid will move on his own, the other is just old enough to decide and for now decided on mommy, and so I would only have kept my youngest, isolated from his mom AND siblings. Hence why I call it "lesser evil". It's still not ideal, but better for him, even though it sucks. I have a court document that if we live close, it's automatically split custody.
People including women judge me for being a 36 year old man who has never been married and has never had any children. After watching this I feel a lot better about myself.
Stay true to your purpose brother and stay away from marriage and family court the experience is overwhelming overrated .
Me too , this is a blessing indeed👍
I appreciate the comments. It’s kinda lonely
32 and in the same boat as you and even luckier since I'm also still a virgin, now I am a great wizard.
@@chaos4living676 good for you man I respect that a lot
What you miss is that the possibility of a divorce is a great reason to own your own business rather than work as an employee. In the six months or so before I split with my ex she nagged me constantly to sell my business. Turned out she had divorce on the mind and if I'd done what she said, she would've taken half of the proceeds of that sale, but because I held onto my business not only did she miss out on that massive windfall, but I had a cash generating engine behind me to fund the legal bills. Even though I blew $90k in legal fees on the divorce (and my lawyer estimates that she blew much more than I did), I emerged from the divorce much richer than when I went in, whereas she was mostly financially wiped out.
I lost the first round, but I'm now in a position where I almost can't lose the second round.
Sounds very familiar. I gave up a lot to try and make my ex wife happy and she met some guy at work and starting sleeping with him. Her entire routine and attitude changed towards me and our kids. She made it seem like it was all my fault. I wanted to “work” things out because I loved her. Well, she wanted a divorce and wanted out asap. She ended up marrying the guy and became a terrible mother to our kids (put the guy’s kids first) and did yard work while he was inside watching television. Well, he ended up cheating on her and left her for another woman. Karma right there…
Good she deserved it
Gave up a lot isn’t even half the story for me, 26 years, more than half my lifetime (I’m 48). I’m currently experiencing the first stages, where the woman meets other men, it’s tough because you love them, hurts bad as hell. I’m toughing out with the help of my daughter and son somehow. All I can say is, pray for me!!! I’m trying!!!
Divorce means the betrayal of your life partner (often with your friend), loss of most of your money, social status, friends, and family, all the time you put into that life project, just to help her raise your children to hate you when they grow up. And you don't even get to see them try to combat this. This is truly one of the worst things a man can suffer. And it is the social norm today. It's true what they say - men are disposable. If you don't want to find yourself being doubly exploited (work and family) and disgraded like an old cow - don't get married.
My wife hired 3 different lawyers during are divorce proceedings. Each one told her that the husband will pays his fee's. The joke was on her. I never paid 1 penny for her lawyer's fee's. She slept with the neighbor. And they thought I was going to pay. She spent thousands coming after me. In the end. She got nothing.
How'd you maneuver out of paying the feels?
Thank God I learned the best moment to give up; before proposing. And lately, before dating.
This channel is excellent to a point when I am even feeling that it is even better than a book when book is great as well. Anyone else had this feeling?
Thanks for your hard work Rich keep it going, you have saved lots of men.
Everything said in this video is completly true and accurate. In 1990's I went thru the same thing, perhaps even worse. She started a two bit job, had an affair with her coworker, chucked all household, and marital responsibilities, and signed a false PFA to have me removed from my house, that I owned, not her. After I was bailed out of county prison, I literally had nothing but the clothes I was wearing, no car, no money, and could not go back to my own house. Her lawyer brought a suit case of my clothes into court, so I could continue to go to work. The judge at one point, looked over the bench, and told me...."You are no longer at the head of your family, I am. You raise the money, and she raises the children." Then he turned to her, and said...."Now, tell me how much money you need".