A Divorce Attorney's Thoughts On Love and Marriage-James Sexton

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  • Опубликовано: 23 дек 2024

Комментарии • 31 тыс.

  • @crruan1142
    @crruan1142 Год назад +28714

    "If you can't talk about hard things you have no business getting married" Wise words to be married by.

    • @hbennett5640
      @hbennett5640 Год назад +134

      So true!

    • @deirdremorris9234
      @deirdremorris9234 Год назад +75

      Truth

    • @dana102083
      @dana102083 Год назад +308

      I say that about ALL relationships..friends, boyfriends and absolutely marriage.

    • @cjaxn9502
      @cjaxn9502 Год назад +33

      Yes!! That part!

    • @LSBUFU
      @LSBUFU Год назад +88

      There's most definitely some underlying misogyny that influenced this conversation.

  • @leonardschneider2797
    @leonardschneider2797 Год назад +5424

    "people will lie to their therapist but they won't lie to their divorce lawyer", one of like 40 gems in this video

    • @GrubKiller436
      @GrubKiller436 Год назад +93

      Depending on what it is, you can still get into serious trouble if you reveal certain things to your therapist.
      You hypothetically have more legal safety with your lawyer than your therapist.

    • @brianstonesthrow2727
      @brianstonesthrow2727 Год назад +44

      @@GrubKiller436 Yes, you need to lie to your therapist until you know you can trust them. And that may be never. They will take what you say and report you and it could be groundless.

    • @tonyale749
      @tonyale749 11 месяцев назад +8

      My ex is still not honest to his lawyer, doubt he is honest to his therapist.

    • @romans52345-cy3tq
      @romans52345-cy3tq 11 месяцев назад

      I'm making that my Facebook headline

    • @Thrusthamster
      @Thrusthamster 11 месяцев назад +17

      That's funny, the longer I work as a lawyer the more I get surprised how stupid people are with withholding essential information from me when all I do is try to help them

  • @tragickingdom69
    @tragickingdom69 Год назад +14220

    Strange times when a divorce lawyer is the best marriage counselor you've ever seen.

    • @robnasty6835
      @robnasty6835 Год назад +132

      Seriously

    • @Chowerman
      @Chowerman Год назад +813

      makes sense though as he's seen everything people shouldn't do

    • @ypanso
      @ypanso Год назад +58

      Best comment

    • @HonestTherapist
      @HonestTherapist Год назад +168

      As a licensed therapist myself, I couldn’t agree more.

    • @rosemaroon6407
      @rosemaroon6407 Год назад +333

      It is not strange at all. It’s honestly the most obvious thing. You only understand the concept of things when you have seen the worst. You then begin to understand the underlying fundamentals to get through it.

  • @joshw1253
    @joshw1253 Месяц назад +247

    I texted my fiancé to tell her I love her and I can’t wait to marry her while watching this video. She said it made her day. Take from this video whatever you want, wisdom is wisdom

    • @kimlove3040
      @kimlove3040 Месяц назад +9

      Prenup or no prenup? Genuine question, at least knowing what you know for, this video.

    • @mirandagaga9221
      @mirandagaga9221 Месяц назад +7

      Get a prenup!

    • @klarissalj
      @klarissalj 29 дней назад +15

      This isn’t the flex you think it is. You’re just announcing you learned nothing from someone whose career is damage control for people and couples like yall. But ignorance is bliss, for awhile at least. It’s ok to learn from people who have more life experience.

    • @fragrantbloom
      @fragrantbloom 28 дней назад +9

      @klarissalj what 😂 how did you come to this conclusion from that comment?

    • @henriquebecker2713
      @henriquebecker2713 27 дней назад +7

      @@klarissalj A divorce laywer will only see the marriages that end in divorce, and none of the "forever happy marriages". There may be wisdom here, as well but surely there is also a LOT of bias.

  • @Airestotle09
    @Airestotle09 Год назад +7619

    This guy was born to be attorney. The right amount of mental fortitude, grace and harsh truth in a human

    • @ww3032
      @ww3032 Год назад +250

      It feels like he has been through a lot of shit to grow into what he is today.

    • @fermentedfruit
      @fermentedfruit Год назад

      @@ww3032no shit sherlock

    • @kalicperry6940
      @kalicperry6940 Год назад +174

      Or maybe he's been an attorney for 20 years lmao

    • @robt3407
      @robt3407 Год назад

      ​@@kalicperry6940or he's been watching MGTOW and manosphere videos

    • @kyoko703
      @kyoko703 Год назад +5

      Facts!!!

  • @MsFitVegan
    @MsFitVegan Год назад +2214

    The “I’m not happy why should you be happy” was powerful. The entire interview was phenomenal

    • @lilyann168
      @lilyann168 Год назад +67

      I literally watch this dynamic play out with my brother and his wife almost every time I visit. It's wild.

    • @stella-vu8vh
      @stella-vu8vh Год назад +17

      that's such a sad way to live and i don't understand why people act that way. my ex wife was that way and it made things so hard

    • @-._.-KRiS-._.-
      @-._.-KRiS-._.- Год назад +42

      @@stella-vu8vh Because there's no one else to talk to. In marriage, you're expected to bring all your vents and frustrations to your significant other but when you do, they take it personally even though you were just trying to work through your emotions to figure out where they were coming from and how to move past them. This is why he's spot on that no single other person can be the 'everything' to another. Sometimes, you just need to vent in order to figure out how you truly feel about something but if you only have the subject of the venting to vent to, too many negative emotions start to entangle into everything and it can become near impossible to disentangle.

    • @miimonalisa
      @miimonalisa Год назад +2

      @KetoFattywhat does that mean

    • @ruthrose1000
      @ruthrose1000 Год назад +17

      Not every woman is like tjis just so you know. I continued to do sweet things for him.. small gifts, notes, kindness.. as he did less and less. It broke my heart. It was not even about material things.. just sleep next to me or hold my hand, but no. He slept on the couch, would not hold my hand.. oh well

  • @wot4me2
    @wot4me2 Год назад +11234

    I NEVER thought I'd listen to a divorce attorney for an hour, but Jim's societal insights are fascinating! Great interview, please have him back.

  • @chrissullivan6572
    @chrissullivan6572 5 дней назад +9

    I could listen to him talk all day. He has a wealth of book smarts, street smarts, experience and a way with words.

  • @ModernMusic831
    @ModernMusic831 10 месяцев назад +2379

    “Falling feels like flying for a little while until you hit the ground” ONE OF THE RAWEST INTERVIEWS IVE SEEN

    • @alisterfolson
      @alisterfolson 10 месяцев назад +41

      'Falling isn't bad. It's that sudden stop at the end." - Indiana Jones

    • @NotSuperwoman
      @NotSuperwoman 8 месяцев назад +3

      No fr! I replayed that back like 4 more times😂

    • @ibewcountry
      @ibewcountry 8 месяцев назад +2

      Rawfully true, I might add.

    • @ibewcountry
      @ibewcountry 8 месяцев назад +2

      @@NotSuperwomannice username.

    • @aj_himm
      @aj_himm 8 месяцев назад +2

      frr

  • @TannerBraungardt
    @TannerBraungardt Год назад +19679

    Felt like every other sentence was worth writing down… incredible interview!!

    • @BeEazy1992
      @BeEazy1992 Год назад +136

      You're speaking the truth im on my 5Th playback

    • @johnb6850
      @johnb6850 Год назад +94

      Does every stock lose value if you hold it too long ? No

    • @alexperez706
      @alexperez706 Год назад

      lol, that's what you got from this?!?!? hahahahah....@@johnb6850

    • @nathalieruiz3817
      @nathalieruiz3817 Год назад +60

      Yes, so much so that I actually paused the video to get a pen and paper! Ha!

    • @MrSuperultramegaguy
      @MrSuperultramegaguy Год назад +21

      ​@johnb6850 yeah. Not every stock loses value if you hold it too long. And?

  • @Scientist_Salarian
    @Scientist_Salarian Год назад +3535

    Incredible conversation. We all just got $500-1000/hr. worth of advice for free. One of the best things you can do for marital health is listen to guys like this. It’s just as important to know how marriages turn bad as how they stay strong.

    • @SlowMoMofo
      @SlowMoMofo Год назад +43

      💯
      You broke that down nicely 100%. Made me realize it that was as well thank you. This is truly a gem here..

    • @oktaxi4503
      @oktaxi4503 Год назад +24

      Well said bro. Priceless experience here

    • @realjcoop182
      @realjcoop182 Год назад +36

      This was an hour consultation for free 🔥

    • @glorias.2930
      @glorias.2930 Год назад +12

      Seriously! Where's the "Buy Me a Coffee" link? 😁

    • @bigjuni2102
      @bigjuni2102 Год назад +3

      Sadly its a price on everything

  • @RyanLeeGalea
    @RyanLeeGalea 5 месяцев назад +111

    James is the type of man whom you can talk about every subject and turns out interesting.

  • @mikes1063
    @mikes1063 Год назад +1404

    “Falling feels like flying…until you hit the ground.”
    Fabulous quote!

    • @deadbutworking
      @deadbutworking Год назад +3

      "falling feels like flying until bones crush" ~ Taylor Swift

    • @natest.the.greatest
      @natest.the.greatest Год назад +1

      Have you seen Crazy Heart yet?

    • @cici3505
      @cici3505 Год назад

      Not sure if I agree with that. Flying is against gravity and failing is the opposite

    • @carolinereidartist
      @carolinereidartist Год назад

      100%

    • @darkylinky288
      @darkylinky288 Год назад +2

      it's been quoted by other people and in songs before, he's not the original source

  • @FossKhan
    @FossKhan Год назад +3743

    This divorce attorney needs his own RUclips channel or podcast, his personality had me glued to the screen, what a real dude

    • @tootstoyou1
      @tootstoyou1 Год назад +140

      Yep. Agreed. He was hypnotic to listen to!! And not hard on the eyes either 😂

    • @greenIMONSTER008
      @greenIMONSTER008 Год назад +13

      He has a IG acc But I can't remember the @

    • @greenIMONSTER008
      @greenIMONSTER008 Год назад +57

      Found it! It's @nycdivorcelawyer

    • @mackpeter6591
      @mackpeter6591 Год назад +6

      I thought so too. You can't make these things up

    • @emilykozel5087
      @emilykozel5087 Год назад +3

      He does

  • @iamandreadaniela
    @iamandreadaniela 10 месяцев назад +1347

    Give this man a show! His way of expressing himself is captivating.

    • @ibrahimalharbi3358
      @ibrahimalharbi3358 10 месяцев назад

      Why white rich men are so ignorant about other people culture and religion? In Saudi, we have high increase divorce last ten years! In Islam we don't have this nonsense about marriage like Catholic marriage or Alimony!

    • @Hardawayfits
      @Hardawayfits 10 месяцев назад +39

      Foreal he is entertaining 😅 He said I'll f*** that guy for 200 million dollars 😂

    • @IARRCSim
      @IARRCSim 10 месяцев назад +6

      yeah. He's hilarious.

    • @dougb4956
      @dougb4956 10 месяцев назад +7

      Yes, he is. But most intelligent, educated, successful and thoughtful people are similar in my experience.

    • @FrankskinOrweed-ep4ij
      @FrankskinOrweed-ep4ij 10 месяцев назад +2

      @dougb4956
      Those 4 qualities are very different though&often mutually exclusive tbh.
      Educated and successful do not even sit in the same category as intelligence, which largely refers to emotional and social intelligence, which is often ironically lacking amongst those in highest levels of education or ‘success’. Success through money doesn’t lead to buying class, personality emotional intelligence or what i would consider the true things that make u rich- loved ones who care about u and good health!
      Just my random thoughts

  • @benf340
    @benf340 4 месяца назад +32

    Not sure if there has ever been an hour of youtube where I’ve been so attuned to every word the person was saying, very fascinating and valuable insight.

  • @Scott-iw5ji
    @Scott-iw5ji Год назад +3687

    This is the EXACT guy you want to be drinking whiskey with in a dark quiet bar. I could listen to his stories for days.

    • @iu.5146
      @iu.5146 Год назад +58

      But you would never have him as opposing council in your divorce 😂😂😂

    • @marydecouvertes3789
      @marydecouvertes3789 Год назад +3

      Paul Auster? 😏

    • @dukedenile4871
      @dukedenile4871 Год назад +25

      This is one of the best interviews I have even watched.

    • @aimfuldrifter
      @aimfuldrifter 11 месяцев назад +17

      He would probably start talking sh*t after a couple shots. :P

    • @JohnBoyed-fo6fm
      @JohnBoyed-fo6fm 11 месяцев назад +6

      The valuable knowledge that he has will save a lot of men

  • @Leila-ie3ms
    @Leila-ie3ms 7 месяцев назад +1140

    “I don’t think I can learn everything about myself from myself”perfect!

    • @londondaze
      @londondaze 6 месяцев назад +6

      That was it. For me it was the best line in the whole thing, too.

    • @nightfighter7452
      @nightfighter7452 5 месяцев назад +2

      I can

    •  3 месяца назад +1

      Big if true!

    • @letsgetdoing
      @letsgetdoing 2 месяца назад

      When did you and yourself learn you like cum shakes. Shaken. Not stirred.

  • @LuxeMindsetVibes
    @LuxeMindsetVibes Год назад +2011

    “I don’t envy people being married for a long time because that’s not the goal. The goal is to be HAPPILY married.” So true. I wasn’t expecting to listen for an entire hour but he is charismatic, informative, and honest ❤

    • @getmoneychill6462
      @getmoneychill6462 Год назад +10

      To me it’s no way in hell any man who’s married is happy.Having sex with the same woman year after year is atrocious.

    • @loridean.5986
      @loridean.5986 Год назад +2

      @@getmoneychill6462 and the same for goes for her having the same man, such is life…

    • @kaylasheppard7746
      @kaylasheppard7746 Год назад +99

      ​@getmoneychill6462 I'm sorry you feel that way. You're probably trolling, but hopefully you find true love someday.

    • @srm0520
      @srm0520 Год назад +45

      I completely agree. Whenever people just blindly applaud couples who have been married forever, I kinda don’t get it. They could be in a horrible relationship. It’s really not the quantity of years but the quality

    • @amalksuresh286
      @amalksuresh286 Год назад +7

      ​@@srm0520but isn't Married like a wave of happiness and sad,just like any other things in life.

  • @Jasjasjas71
    @Jasjasjas71 2 месяца назад +21

    Recently married at 20.. so incredibly insightful and i feel so lucky to have come across this video when i did. I could listen to you talk for hours and wish you had a podcast or a show! The things you said about social media in this video has really resonated with me given the fact that i am a young married woman, and because of the damage that social media could do in a relationship, we both have decided not to have those apps, and we have been together for 4 years. Nothing like comparison will really affect a perfectly fine relationship. 3 years social media free and till this day i believe everything you see is definitely just during their biggest hits.
    When you said it’s the little things, i’ve had about 6 things i could think of that my husband does for me consistently that i sometimes take for granted and don’t realize how important it has been for our relationship. Im so thankful for this interview and i truly hope to see more of you wether you start writing books or doing more interviews!

  • @vedranromac1046
    @vedranromac1046 Год назад +3195

    I don't know when was the last time I saw such a vibrant and energetic combination of teaching, consulting, coaching and stand-up comedy. Thanks Mark for this one. This man got me back on my feet after so many sex offenders and victims, addicts, prostitutes and all the other poor and broken people I met through your videos. A necessary counterbalance. Excellent!

    • @Tammy-jl2io
      @Tammy-jl2io Год назад +50

      This descriptive is ON POINT! Excellent!

    • @froufou100
      @froufou100 Год назад +15

      That's exactly what I waa thinking!

    • @zeezeezee3110
      @zeezeezee3110 Год назад +25

      I had to click right away when i saw how different the one getting interviewed in the video. such a fresh story, something different but still hits home

    • @sweetteagrits3822
      @sweetteagrits3822 Год назад +20

      Agreed!! I was going down the dark rabbit hole too much!

    • @vedranromac1046
      @vedranromac1046 Год назад +15

      @@TheRoseAnthology I agree completely. Most of Mark's videos are like training for empathy with the working title "Faith - saddle on the horse of life between good and evil". This video is like a bottle of cold clear water handed to you by a nice waiter while saying "Brain!...come on!...turn your head on!"

  • @1565kat
    @1565kat 9 месяцев назад +1477

    "Tiptoeing through life so you can arrive safely at death." - brilliant!!! Love this guy!!

    • @sstrick500
      @sstrick500 7 месяцев назад +22

      I turned 50 recently, and I've been thinking the same thing!! My whole life was "safe"...and now I'm closer to death (natural/statistically) I'm thinking..."WHAT THE HELL.....GO OUT GO NUTS!"

    • @THESILVERNARUTO
      @THESILVERNARUTO 2 месяца назад

      Guilty a bit

    • @megausten7189
      @megausten7189 2 месяца назад

      Tired

    • @captemp
      @captemp 2 месяца назад

      Read this quote in the book You Are a Badass. By far my favorite quote of all time.

    • @alialba8189
      @alialba8189 2 месяца назад +1

      All around you, people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip, or dance, just don't tiptoe.
      Shane Claiborne.
      I don't know that guy, but I love this quote. Heard it about 20 years ago.

  • @constantineandreu9377
    @constantineandreu9377 6 месяцев назад +1476

    THIS SHOULD BE MANDATORY VIEWING FOR EVERY ENGAGED COUPLE ON THE PLANET🙏

    • @jenwhite6305
      @jenwhite6305 6 месяцев назад +10

      I definitely watched it and engaged.

    • @constantineandreu9377
      @constantineandreu9377 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@jenwhite6305 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂....my bad! "EVERY"👍

    • @xanperia
      @xanperia 6 месяцев назад +11

      This should be mandatory to everybody. I'm single and watching this proved what I already thought - marriage is not for me

    • @constantineandreu9377
      @constantineandreu9377 6 месяцев назад +3

      @@xanperia I wasn't agreeing with everything he had said.....and I believe in marriage💕

    • @JT-cf5ol
      @JT-cf5ol 5 месяцев назад +2

      many churches just help to feed the divorce industry. Preach Jesus but give them the whole story. How to live your best life as a married couple but the reality of church people getting divorced is still an issue. Then, when you're going through the divorce industry meat grinder, the church is often nowhere to be found

  • @LilyOlivia-p3s
    @LilyOlivia-p3s 23 дня назад +67

    Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.

    • @Adakataba
      @Adakataba 23 дня назад

      Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.

    • @LilyOlivia-p3s
      @LilyOlivia-p3s 23 дня назад

      It's interesting! How can I contact a spiritual counselor most efficiently, and how did you find one?

    • @Adakataba
      @Adakataba 23 дня назад

      Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.

    • @Adakataba
      @Adakataba 23 дня назад

      He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.

    • @LilyOlivia-p3s
      @LilyOlivia-p3s 23 дня назад

      I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable
      I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤

  • @TahoeSnowbird
    @TahoeSnowbird Год назад +675

    If you find your soulmate and true love, marriage is Heaven on Earth. My husband and I were blessed with that kind of love for 52 years (married for 51 years 4 months and 21 days,) He's in Heaven now, waiting for me. I miss him beyond measure.

    • @meredithcoleman446
      @meredithcoleman446 Год назад +49

      This is so precious

    • @jessebaseal6577
      @jessebaseal6577 Год назад +29

      I'm really sorry for the loss ❤️

    • @TOMMY-WANT-WINGY
      @TOMMY-WANT-WINGY Год назад +8

      Wow. It's does exist. Is it possible to find it before divorce?

    • @tproudboomer5965
      @tproudboomer5965 Год назад

      @@TOMMY-WANT-WINGY😂😂😂

    • @TahoeSnowbird
      @TahoeSnowbird Год назад +25

      @@jessebaseal6577 Thank you. Whenever I am depressed about being without him, I have to remind myself I was very blessed to have shared his life and love for all those years, and we'll be together again.

  • @SeemaRamkissoon
    @SeemaRamkissoon 7 месяцев назад +1459

    "the skill set for a father is completely different to the skill set of a husband" this man nailed it

    • @carlcampbell6827
      @carlcampbell6827 7 месяцев назад

      In my opinion, America has produced and is in the process of producing abject losers as fathers.

    • @juless7807
      @juless7807 7 месяцев назад +36

      I disagree. Doing the right thing even when it's hard or not what you want to do, putting in time and effort to show love, consideration for how your choices affect those you love, prioritizing their happiness and safety, not holding onto resentment... The skill set is the same. It's just effected very differently.

    • @TheAdderalDiaries
      @TheAdderalDiaries 7 месяцев назад

      @@juless7807​​⁠As a man I don’t think you are talking about the same thing that he was implying in his male brain. If I am correct; because I agree 100% with his comment and what it means to me is that as a father who is a a full time single dad of a son I got custody of 5 years ago. (Me and his mom dated in college, split when he was 6mo old). I got him every other weekend. He is my 1 true love. Business owner who worked 100 hours per week even while I had custody, but covid came and destroyed that business and so I created a different business. These small things are important to the context, and I’m getting to it. When I got custody of him, I completely stopped dating. And the reason I stopped dating is a woman takes so much time, money and effort. And that’s not a bad thing, if you love her you love her. But as a father, my priority is my child, above everything else. Above a woman, and even myself. But as a man, it’s important to be happy with yourself and your accomplishments before you invest in a wife. If you do not, it’s going to fail. Because no man will ever be secure enough, to ge happy enough, and trust enough. Regardless of what you look like. Men are not women. To men, our looks mean absolutely nothing. We play very different games in life, and most girls don’t realize it, and many feminist would love to deny it. But it’s true. A man’s value is in his status and resources, and woman’s is in her looks. It’s been this way since the dawn of mankind. All the proof you need is to look up who owns the most yachts, and it’s men. Yet, you see far more women on yachts on social Media, why is that? You never see the men. The reason is, these types of girls don’t want to show the man. Because everyone knows that’s not her yacht, and everyone knows what she’s had to do to be on that yacht popping $500 bottles. And it was being born beautiful. That’s it. She probably doesn’t even have a job. Because men do not give a shit about a woman’s wealth or status, we only care about her looks it’s the opposite for woman. This is why is said a man must be secure in himself and happy with where he is in life regardless of how good looking He is. His looks will
      Get him laid, but his status is what will make him secure and happy to be able to be a good husband emotionally later. But we already have the skill set to be a father, it’s a genetic thing all fathers that are “good dads” have for their kids. We are willing to put everything in our lives on old in order to provide them the best life and get them raised and we will worry about our Dating life and marriage later. I realize this is not the norm, and that’s the problem. Most men are miserable and most men will never be where they want to be because of these choices and wasting time with women. So it takes a emotionally skill set to be able to work 100 hours per week, still show up for your kids school activities and raise them. There is no room for the skill set it takes to be a good husband at this point. A new study realized show that single father households do just as good as two parents households and single women households have nightmare statistics attached to them. It’s because men and women are very different, and we are good at different things. Single moms who although may be raising their kids, maybe 1% of them would stop dating to focus solely on their kids and they end up just sleeping with tons of men chasing happiness they will never find. Because men and women value different things. Men are going to sleep with her. But men don’t want the single mom who has 3 kids and 2 baby daddies. Women make very poor choices in this part of life because women are creatures of emotion and men are creatures of logic and ambition. And the ambitious women are feminist all trying to compete with men, when men don’t even think of things like this and we damn sure don’t want to have a marriage with those women. So men and women are very different in how we think and the truth about our lives being very different can always come down to the yacht. A hot woman can be on a yacht anytime by spreading her legs, but a man has to buy that yacht to be on it. So because of this, it’s easy for us to use our skills as being a father vs our skills at being a husband. We can’t do both until we are happy with ourselves.

    • @Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq.
      @Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq. 7 месяцев назад +13

      In a sane society, the being a husband essentially _IS_ being a father. You protect, provide for, and preside over a woman like her father did and she accepts your patriarchy. The only real differences are intimacy and parenting. Why do you think girls who have great relationships with their fathers get guys like their fathers? Why do you think girls who had bad relationships and are starved for the imposition of wise authority mean _"DADDY!"_ during shrekx? The problem is that we've been taught to treat them like equal partners when we never evolved to be that liberal democratic fantasy.

    • @juless7807
      @juless7807 7 месяцев назад

      @@Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq. Sorry, you don't own your wife. Those women were not protected, they were slaves. They were (and in many ways/places still are) expected to be an on-demand s3x toy, cook, maid, sole caregiver, waitress, hostess, and PR rep. And, if they didn't, they were beaten, stoned, killed, etc. If they didn't do it with a smile on their faces, they were told there's something wrong with them, and then probably beaten. They did not accept patriarchy- they had no choice. You can't choose something you are not given a choice in. GTFO

  • @nidakhan3290
    @nidakhan3290 Год назад +565

    “I would love to see what it looked like when these people loved each other” such a heart-trending quote

    • @dominiquemcclaney128
      @dominiquemcclaney128 Год назад +19

      When he said that I just automatically knew it was the complete opposite going on. It's like they hate each other now. But it's good that even as a divorce attorney he knows that they did love each other at some point.

    • @bongamnguni3982
      @bongamnguni3982 Год назад

      He did say that he believes in love, so It makes sense for him to say that.@@dominiquemcclaney128

    • @jarkachalmovianska7812
      @jarkachalmovianska7812 Год назад +2

      ​@@dominiquemcclaney128they were in love... maybe not loved each other

    • @chitlinjuice
      @chitlinjuice Год назад +14

      ​​@@dominiquemcclaney128I'll be the unpopular opinion here and say they never loved each other. They just loved what each other did at one point and got tired of it. True love doesn't dissolve like that. It was mostly lust and a shallow version of happiness that most couples experience.

    • @taylorspastpresent1014
      @taylorspastpresent1014 Год назад +8

      @@chitlinjuiceI agree. When he said you didn’t sleep with your husband for 6 years. What did you think would happen. There was no conversation over Six years at all about why sex wasn’t occurring. That’s insane. Was she sick, was their sexual assault trauma? Was he a jerk to her emotionally? Was she cheating? Like what in the world. Marriage is complex and not the source of our happiness. Jesus is.

  • @pastethat
    @pastethat 10 дней назад +5

    I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one, but I feel like I now have a much better understanding of both human and spousal relationships after listening to a divorce lawyer. Thank you very much, James!!

  • @lrbiloski
    @lrbiloski Год назад +2551

    As a fellow divorce attorney, his statements are 100% accurate! Loved listening to him.

    • @KD400_
      @KD400_ Год назад +42

      Then u know y most men r walking away from marriage

    • @FreeSpirit47
      @FreeSpirit47 Год назад +163

      @@KD400_ Women are walking away from marriage, also. Whether guy or girl, treat them well or they will find someone who will.

    • @KD400_
      @KD400_ Год назад +16

      @@FreeSpirit47 judging by ur profile picture I'm sure u had tons of offers but u chose to walk away. It's not positive btw.

    • @Dewane1511
      @Dewane1511 Год назад +39

      @@FreeSpirit47 WHY is it always tit for tat wit women

    • @FreeSpirit47
      @FreeSpirit47 Год назад +68

      @@Dewane1511 Nothing is always anything. Tit for tat is an aspect of life. Cause & effect. Light & dark. It's a balance present all through life.

  • @invisigoat
    @invisigoat Год назад +767

    This man cut through all of our societal presuppositions and traditions like a hot knife. Extremely insightful.

    • @lookoutforchris
      @lookoutforchris Год назад +25

      Our traditions were demolished a long time ago. He’s commenting on the rubble.
      Marriage is a religious institution older than human history. Maybe if non-believers stopped highjacking a religion they’re not part of it would stop blowing up in their faces.

    • @AlahuSnackbar
      @AlahuSnackbar Год назад +13

      @@lookoutforchris Our legal system doesn't reflect what marriage is from a traditional or religious standpoint.

    • @KINGAMIIAMKING
      @KINGAMIIAMKING Год назад +15

      ​@@lookoutforchris
      Marriage is a government institution and wealth extraction.

    • @evacope1718
      @evacope1718 Год назад +7

      ​@@KINGAMIIAMKINGtoday it is but the heart of marriage is god, that's why you get married in a church or a synagogue/mosque etc. People took God out of the equation which makes their vows easier to break.

    • @cadenhnc
      @cadenhnc Год назад

      @@KINGAMIIAMKING That doesn't disprove what he said

  • @arandompasserby7940
    @arandompasserby7940 Год назад +653

    "We are prehistoric creatures living in medieval institutions with God-like technology" Damn, that one floored me.
    One of the best SWU interviews by far

    • @stephaniehayesbusiness
      @stephaniehayesbusiness Год назад +3

      I agree. Paraphrased or original, the thinking is solid.

    • @Skyecaster101
      @Skyecaster101 Год назад +2

      That is the best description for us that I've ever heard.

    • @mckenziejoseph3505
      @mckenziejoseph3505 Год назад

      Profound. Have to remember that.

    • @house0paine535
      @house0paine535 8 месяцев назад +11

      @@stephaniehayesbusinessIt is a paraphrased from a quote by Edward O. Wilson, “the problem of humanity is the following: We have Paleolithic emotions, medieval institutions and godlike technology.”

    • @dysmissme7343
      @dysmissme7343 Месяц назад

      Damn

  • @civilarms247
    @civilarms247 2 месяца назад +18

    Dude is just engrained with a wealth of knowledge, philosophy around his craft, and seems like genuine guy. Just binged both his interviews with SWUB and there wasn’t a sentence I didn’t find interesting. Need more people like this 👍

  • @cherryhazard8002
    @cherryhazard8002 11 месяцев назад +783

    "I wanna see how it looked like when these people loved each other." Genuinely made me tear up, what a beautiful sentiment.

    • @aceshigh5157
      @aceshigh5157 11 месяцев назад +19

      i wonder how many people actually loved each other, or got married for other reasons like societal expectations (have to be married by x age, otherwise people will think i'm x,y,z so i'll just settle down with this person) or finances (if we get married we'll pay less taxes). or how many marriages are actually deeply connected.. most people aren't deep, most people haven't done the internal work to be able to actually connect with their spouse or even themselves.

    • @kimmyp3407
      @kimmyp3407 11 месяцев назад

      😅 0:41 😅😅 0:41 😅😅😅 1:06

    • @GrubKiller436
      @GrubKiller436 10 месяцев назад +2

      Their toxic side isn't revealed yet in the honeymoon stage.

  • @clively6229
    @clively6229 11 месяцев назад +1400

    This man needs to 1000% write literature on marriage. He is so brutally honest and open. Got me sitting here single feeling lucky lol

    • @josiahmcclanahan
      @josiahmcclanahan 11 месяцев назад +28

      I believe he's written a couple books! The descriptions mentions some of his work :)

    • @itskeagan3004
      @itskeagan3004 11 месяцев назад +21

      Lucky? That’s dark. I’m sorry you haven’t found someone to share in the amazing milestones and challenges throughout life.

    • @jasoncrandall73
      @jasoncrandall73 11 месяцев назад

      Like this man said 76% of marriages will end before the actual end (of life).

    • @jelly.212
      @jelly.212 11 месяцев назад +18

      @@itskeagan3004 haha lol 😂 lmao 🤣 even

    • @JohnBoyed-fo6fm
      @JohnBoyed-fo6fm 11 месяцев назад +9

      His knowledge will save a lot of men from horrible wom3nn

  • @rich_mc
    @rich_mc Год назад +592

    I can't begin to express how much I wish I'd seen this 20 years ago. It should be required watching for everyone in today's society.

    • @jesperburns
      @jesperburns Год назад +11

      Are there some insights coming then? Because 12 minutes in and his demeanour is getting on my nerves.

    • @brennenbisme
      @brennenbisme Год назад +38

      @@jesperburnsHe’s being real. His demeanor presents 0 fakeness. Probably why it gets on your nerves. No catering.

    • @jesperburns
      @jesperburns Год назад

      @@brennenbisme his information is real but there's very few people alive faker than him

    • @art8kitty482
      @art8kitty482 Год назад

      What have you learned from it? That men think with their di** till late retirement age?

    • @Chris_Picklepants
      @Chris_Picklepants Год назад +6

      Isn't that always the story? Listen up young men.

  • @noahmook5814
    @noahmook5814 3 месяца назад +26

    It’s very refreshing to hear someone to be so candid, I found this very interesting.

  • @MelanieGraceTV
    @MelanieGraceTV Год назад +1031

    This is one of the best episodes produced! Highly insightful from many perspectives. The irony of it is that he gave the literal solutions for a successful marriage: 1) Don't compare. 2) Don't be selfish. 3) Feed the marriage. 4) Keep holding hands 5) Become the best version of yourself. A successful marriage isn't winning the lottery. It's a mutual willingness to do the work necessary to create happiness.

    • @carlabeavers5837
      @carlabeavers5837 Год назад +15

      YES

    • @Streamcatcher
      @Streamcatcher Год назад +22

      Yes! I totally agree! This was thr best episode for me so far. This man is just so incredibly on the ball. Amazing stuff, and what you say is true about the points to a successful marriage 💑

    • @Borat_Kazakh
      @Borat_Kazakh Год назад

      Most of all historically marriage is covenant to raise children. Or heirs to the farm, cattle, patch of land. It was never intended for mutual
      Happiness.

    • @veronicavargas6895
      @veronicavargas6895 Год назад +12

      I believe he could write a fantastic book about this subject

    • @mckay7355
      @mckay7355 Год назад +14

      And get a prenup

  • @lwgray3
    @lwgray3 Год назад +506

    The best marriage advice I have ever gotten was “seek first to understand, then be understood” It’s not easy. We are so caught up in the way we feel all the time, but this will get you through a lot.

    • @fastlane1132
      @fastlane1132 Год назад +2

      100%

    • @Hana-su7zg
      @Hana-su7zg Год назад +2

      St Francis of Assissi

    • @onyxstone4618
      @onyxstone4618 Год назад +3

      Your marriage will end in divorce.

    • @Alphacentauri819
      @Alphacentauri819 Год назад +9

      First understand yourself, understand your needs, your boundaries, understand how to discern red flags, understand how to communicate clearly, calmly, and directly. Understand your biases, your core wounds, your cognitive distortions, your maladaptive patterns. Understand your attachment style.
      Self understanding is paramount to being able to connect to and understand another human. We cannot seek to understand anyone, when we haven't cleared out our own stuff.
      Then, yes, seek to understand...before demanding someone understand you. However, if it's not reciprocal, know that it won't work.

    • @francoisnel5253
      @francoisnel5253 Год назад +2

      Yeah, for the man to try and understand and apologize and admit he is wrong while women are never wrong as they are too used to being told everything they do is empowering even when using men for selfish means.

  • @PrettyandThings
    @PrettyandThings Год назад +818

    This guy deserves his own podcast, talk show, or RUclips channel. He is infinitely charismatic and entertaining. Most of these interviews are so depressing. It's nice to watch one with a guest who is smart, insightful, interesting, informative and funny as hell. Love this one!

    • @eugenealymov2723
      @eugenealymov2723 Год назад +27

      I agree, more of this is needed. Alcoholics and fentanyl addicts aren't very interesting, on average.

    • @yanicyoda4762
      @yanicyoda4762 Год назад +10

      hell Yeah.a lot more of these types

    • @jeffcherry1643
      @jeffcherry1643 Год назад

      @@eugenealymov2723 True. Would have liked to have heard this 36 years ago ! He has a very realistic take on life and marriage

    • @atlntcostv7293
      @atlntcostv7293 Год назад

      He sounds like a fake ass mayor carcetti from the wire

    • @fyingfish9370
      @fyingfish9370 Год назад +12

      He is famous actually! He has been invited by a lot of tv talkshows, podcasts etc. Yea but none of his own show

  • @wendynewberry6283
    @wendynewberry6283 5 месяцев назад +28

    I love this guy from the first sentence to the last!! Complete honesty, truth and pretty damn accurate. Observation is spot on. People don't need therapy, they need you!!

  • @pegrathwol
    @pegrathwol Год назад +793

    "Whoever came up with the word Soulmate, we divorce lawyers should be paying that person dividends." Pure Gold!!!

    • @ClarisNdoroRealEstate
      @ClarisNdoroRealEstate Год назад +8

      Some people do find Soul mates but it 1percent.

    • @remoevans7847
      @remoevans7847 Год назад +45

      @@ClarisNdoroRealEstateWrong. Given the total number of people in the world, the chances your soulmate happens to live in the same city or work at the same company are zero. It’s a nonsensical term invented for romance novels and movies.

    • @lillianjaimez7294
      @lillianjaimez7294 Год назад +6

      Off topic ... he resembles Robert Dinero.

    • @brek5
      @brek5 Год назад +8

      Yes, 100%. And later, he expands on that point a little bit, and it totally is that idea that one person is going to be EVERYTHING for you. It's ridiculous. I am married to a woman from a more "traditional" culture, let's say, and the most remarkable difference is the expectations. I'm not expected to want to go dress up in pink and watch the Barbie movie, and she's not expected to be interested in my sports. We're allowed to be our own people, unapologetically.

    • @imechko_familia
      @imechko_familia Год назад +10

      I believe soulmates are made, not born. I know my best friend for 14 years, good times and troubles, we share the exact same brain at this point. That's what I call a soulmate.

  • @Keralite29
    @Keralite29 Год назад +443

    _"Being married is great sometimes, the problem is you're married all the time."_
    Great quote. Great interview. So many nuggets of insight. So many relevant analogies on-hand for the scenarios he was discussing. That quote is one of several that I could have listed here.

    • @cyano741
      @cyano741 Год назад +15

      People make the mistake of going for attraction instead of compatibility. Morals/values/, integrity, politics, kids, marriage, sex, careers, finances, religion, world view, temperament, communication, household, past trauma, personality traits etc. They have to be compatible. Liking each other simply is not enough. Laying it all out on the table. Will it always be 100% perfect? No. But life is a struggle, the rest is teamwork. You better stick with someone who compliments your assets and weak spots. You will come to find, life is much nicer when you have someone by your side who has your best interest at heart.

    • @musashi542
      @musashi542 Год назад

      thats a good thing for me

    • @GGCandle
      @GGCandle Год назад

      This comment is also great sometimes.

    • @sssuperstacy
      @sssuperstacy Год назад

      There were 4 -6 quotes i wanted to jot down... alas

    • @fermentedfruit
      @fermentedfruit Год назад

      @@cyano741religion is something that shouldn’t make you get married. it’s all a lie

  • @DJ33970
    @DJ33970 6 месяцев назад +662

    I'm 25 minutes into this interview and I would already rank this as your #1 interview so far. Please have this man back for more videos!

    • @ammievdm8190
      @ammievdm8190 4 месяца назад +7

      Agreed. Video of the year!! (Every year)😅

    • @ubuntu6929
      @ubuntu6929 4 месяца назад +2

      I agree. its one thing to be interesting, its another to be able to talk about something not tied to you, yet is so universal and directly affects so many people! married and unmarried. and to talk about it objectively and critically is extremely powerful. this one interview is an insight to millions of marriages! Marriage as a state entity and marriage as a partnership are 2 different things completely! we should understand this before we even consider getting married!

    • @thesilverladylifts2708
      @thesilverladylifts2708 2 месяца назад

      Agreed!

  • @tq325
    @tq325 3 месяца назад +11

    "How do you like to fight?" That's a great question! So many people learn too late and misunderstandings occur, and then it's down the tubes from there!

  • @alanarzate93
    @alanarzate93 Год назад +3542

    Man that first story about the 92 year old man leaving his wife after 60 plus years of marriage is actually heartbreaking I actually got upset 😔

    • @lucianaromulus1408
      @lucianaromulus1408 Год назад +2

      Just goes to show he was always trash.

    • @timhensley3695
      @timhensley3695 Год назад +191

      One where I used to live shot his wife same age 😔

    • @paintingwithrosev741
      @paintingwithrosev741 Год назад +249

      @@timhensley3695 Thank you for sharing. I think we all need a reality check. My eyes have been wide open since I was six years old when I saw what marriage meant. The best thing I ever decided was to stay single.

    • @timhensley3695
      @timhensley3695 Год назад +59

      @@paintingwithrosev741 I agree unless you win the lottery. It does exist.

    • @historygal7
      @historygal7 Год назад +339

      Ugh that man’s poor wife. She shared her life with the man she thought would be there for her always. Oh that breaks my heart to pieces. He’ll regret it when he realizes he threw away the best thing in his life. Loyalty and Love. 😢
      This is why I hesitate to fully love. I’m better off riding the line rather than making the step over and risking my heart.
      I’m such a romantic but it’s hard to believe in true love anymore. I’ll stick to my rescue dogs. Always loyal and unconditional love.

  • @amandaslay6045
    @amandaslay6045 Год назад +882

    I’m so glad he brought up social media. People don’t realize how “dangerous” it can be for relationships. He explained it perfectly, it’s an entry point

    • @beatewagner7.2934
      @beatewagner7.2934 Год назад

      True! But here he has forgotten to mention the influence of digital p***ography / OF / IG / Dating apps for casual pleasure plus
      the whole issue of addiction.
      It's brutally devastating for relationships and society...
      I guess finding "old friends" on Facebook is here the smallest part.

    • @TheSpringMood
      @TheSpringMood Год назад +18

      It's a good idea for married couples to share a joint account instead of having separate accounts on social media.

    • @kekkic
      @kekkic Год назад

      totally agree, social media is a temptation. @@TheSpringMood

    • @beatewagner7.2934
      @beatewagner7.2934 Год назад +39

      @@TheSpringMood
      What kind of foundation of trust is this for a relationship? 🤔

    • @TheSpringMood
      @TheSpringMood Год назад

      @@beatewagner7.2934 Nice question. I believe trust is vital in marriage but a healthy married couple should have many of the same friends and share experiences together therefore separate accounts aren't needed unless you have something to hide.

  • @cuppa_joe
    @cuppa_joe Год назад +304

    36:45 - "How are you going to be married to someone, have children with someone, and you can't talk about hard things such as a prenup? How are you going to navigate life together and not be able to talk about hard things? If you can't then don't get married". So very true. Hit the nail on the head.

    • @Bubbles-od2tv
      @Bubbles-od2tv Год назад +4

      Prenups should be mandatory, then no difficult conversations will need to be had!

    • @cuppa_joe
      @cuppa_joe Год назад

      @@Bubbles-od2tv That will most likely never happen unfortunately.

  • @darfel1
    @darfel1 5 месяцев назад +11

    I have to watch this interview multiple times. SO MANY gems in this interview to digest and reflect on!

  • @dammithoppie1
    @dammithoppie1 Год назад +657

    My mother was married and divorced four times before I was 25. I saw what it does to people up close and personal. Before I got married I sat down with future spouse and created a prenup, and 10.5 years later when we decided to call it quits we sat down and split everything just like Jim said, yours, mine and ours. We never fought over anything and 23 years later we're still friends. I 100% agree with Jim's take on marriage. Another outstanding interview Mark!!

    • @tara34952
      @tara34952 Год назад +23

      This is a fine example of how it should be done. You have my respect.

    • @jamesc2545
      @jamesc2545 Год назад +26

      4 times in 7 years… dang man mom was a mess

    • @daniellebailey6802
      @daniellebailey6802 Год назад +4

      Same. I still haven't been married. Lol

    • @malik_alharb
      @malik_alharb Год назад

      Do you regret the marriage

    • @wavybebes6979
      @wavybebes6979 Год назад +6

      @@RetireandGoyou need to think about what it’ll be like for a kid to grow up with older parent(s)

  • @johncitizen8828
    @johncitizen8828 Год назад +568

    Wise man. Dropping knowledge in every sentence.
    This should be mandatory viewing for anyone considering getting married.

    • @msfilahnee1968
      @msfilahnee1968 Год назад +4

      That's what I said & posted the video link on FB!

    • @lydiapetra1211
      @lydiapetra1211 Год назад +5

      I agree with both of you! Sadly we live in a throw away society.... selfishness, lust, greed...addictions, godlessness.... destroy relationships and marriages...

    • @DX-d
      @DX-d Год назад +5

      He isn’t wise one bit. He has no knowledge about relationships. He’s divorced himself and makes excuses for cheating blaming the partner, wants to have sex with women without having any obligations towards them. His outlook on why marriages fall apart are immature.

    • @rileykennedy4273
      @rileykennedy4273 Год назад +1

      Me and my fiancé have been taking pre martial counseling just finished our second session today and got home and watched this 😂

    • @frankclements1431
      @frankclements1431 Год назад +1

      I know a young man that must watch this. I hope I get him to look at it.

  • @cynthiatorres4320
    @cynthiatorres4320 Год назад +211

    "I don't think I can learn everything about myself from myself, I need someone who can see my blind spots" ❤ I love that!

  • @idoididimdonecoach
    @idoididimdonecoach 4 месяца назад +4

    I am Divorce Coach Melissa and this is f-ing brilliant! Every kid in school needs a class on this stuff. Every couple thinking marriage is a necessity needs to hear this. This is a masterpiece.

  • @lordmow7572
    @lordmow7572 10 месяцев назад +1039

    Crazy that this interview is free tbh. This is pure gold

    • @IARRCSim
      @IARRCSim 10 месяцев назад +11

      yeah. People might pay his hourly rate as a lawyer just to hear him do standup comedy or do a TED-style talk one on one in his office.

    • @AyeBeeG
      @AyeBeeG 10 месяцев назад +3

      Stop watching cable/tik tok

    • @aprilterrellcreates
      @aprilterrellcreates 10 месяцев назад

      Yup

    • @GamingAndChill
      @GamingAndChill 10 месяцев назад +1

      Every interview is free lol

    • @ronmass969
      @ronmass969 9 месяцев назад

      You’re the person that fucks it up for all of us

  • @andrewthompson6893
    @andrewthompson6893 Год назад +463

    This has to be one of the best monologues I've ever heard. Absolutely epic, and should be watched before a marriage license is issued.

  • @5stelle88
    @5stelle88 Год назад +552

    Please bring more episodes with this attorney. This is an extremely smart man and obviously very well versed in what he does. You could maybe even think about making him talk about other entirely different topics. Thank you for what you do Mark

    • @theangriestoftabbies
      @theangriestoftabbies Год назад

      He’s been on other podcasts

    • @chelle3524
      @chelle3524 Год назад +7

      I agree. Very well-articulated, intelligent man. I would love to hear his thoughts on many topics.

    • @taylorc2542
      @taylorc2542 Год назад

      What he doesn't incorporate is that marriage is a Christian sacrament.

    • @Tomekayf
      @Tomekayf Год назад +3

      I hung on his every word! Fascinating!

    • @Talisman09
      @Talisman09 Год назад +1

      He's a creep

  • @irmamartinez2483
    @irmamartinez2483 4 месяца назад +3

    He was so great! Gave me some good advice on how to improve and make my marriage “right”. He’s absolutely right marriage is hard, but sometimes if you can work through the hard times, the payoff of the happiness and joy of staying married to the best person to party with it’s so so worth it! He’s worth it!

  • @hokees
    @hokees Год назад +991

    Every person on earth needs to watch this interview. Gather in groups. Play it on planes. Show it in theaters. This. Is. Gold.

    • @999dayslater
      @999dayslater Год назад

      guy seems like a total jerkoff

    • @kipsmithers8816
      @kipsmithers8816 Год назад +3

      Well said

    • @Chrisjonpage
      @Chrisjonpage Год назад +8

      This really should be playing in theaters

    • @laptop2638
      @laptop2638 Год назад +9

      I agree, I will make sure my 21 yr old son watches this too. I can remember "my thing" , she never had a thing, she said she always knew we would divorce...

    • @BlackSlacksGarage
      @BlackSlacksGarage Год назад +1

      agree

  • @erikkoenitzer5615
    @erikkoenitzer5615 9 месяцев назад +648

    Love his take on social media causing general unhappiness in comparing yourself to others... "you're looking at everyone's greatest hits while you're living your gag reel."

  • @billdavis6900
    @billdavis6900 Год назад +565

    To me this was by far the best SWU interview I've seen. This guy is incredibly wise. It also reminds me how rare my parents were. My parents first met when they were 12 years old, started dating when they were 14, got legally married when they were 16, & stayed married until my Mom died at the age of 82 (3 years ago). My dad was so devastated and lost when my Mom died, he only lived another 7 months.

    • @skinnypete3104
      @skinnypete3104 Год назад +23

      This was so pure it made me tear up

    • @billdavis6900
      @billdavis6900 Год назад +7

      @@skinnypete3104 Thanks for your reply.

    • @Liliana-of7ji
      @Liliana-of7ji Год назад +6

      So wholesome. now im crying

    • @Somerandomtileguy
      @Somerandomtileguy Год назад +8

      That is a beautiful story, your parents were very lucky

    • @aceshigh5157
      @aceshigh5157 Год назад +7

      same thing happened with my grandparents - grandpa died less than a year after grandma's passing, even though he was much healthier than her. but in their case it was codependence, not healthy love.

  • @Zoomer-te9us
    @Zoomer-te9us 5 месяцев назад +5

    I am 39 years old and unmarried. I could have been a few times and was even proposed to by a girl but always backed away. This guy confirms all the heartache I was warned about in dreams when I’d get to the place of marriage with these women. All of them were great and I have great memories with them but I am so glad to not have gone into the chaos. Marriage was more about making them happy versus me. They wanted their family off their back for being single and not having kids yet. I’m glad I didn’t marry for them only to divorce me later and take money to marry someone else within five years… this interview is the best soft white underbelly thus far

    • @99thpeanut59
      @99thpeanut59 4 месяца назад +1

      I’m a 20 year old guy going a year strong with my girlfriend so I’m interested in your story. Do you worry you’ll be lonely when you grow old, or do you not think so

  • @nqobilemalaza9838
    @nqobilemalaza9838 Год назад +284

    James Sexton has a book [How To Stay In Love] and a podcast he co-hosts [Argue in Peace]. Both are brilliant... This man's brand of practical honesty is what we need more of. And he's so right about kindness - costs nothing but it can mean so much. Thanks for the conversation, SWU.

    • @wtfmusic1961
      @wtfmusic1961 Год назад +5

      Hi, thanx

    • @CCCBYT
      @CCCBYT Год назад +4

      That is what I thought, he should write a book. And then I read your comment, he is brilliant.

  • @FootlessJo
    @FootlessJo Год назад +812

    This is such an important conversation. Getting married is so ridiculously easy - getting divorced tears every piece of your life apart. I hope we can keep having more conversations about this as a society and take a closer look at the technology of marriage.

    • @meredithheath5272
      @meredithheath5272 Год назад +20

      So agree - it should be the other way around - marrying should be way harder than divorce. Therefore, obtaining contraception and abortion should be way easier as well.

    • @doctordef324
      @doctordef324 Год назад +7

      You said it!!! Easy marriage in like 30 minutes flat, divorce, years!!!!!!!!!!

    • @blissdad13
      @blissdad13 Год назад +1

      Men Control access to marriage. Not women. Its easy only for for women who were raised to be wives to get proposals.. meaning they are nurturing. attractive... fit... loyal etc... oh yea and they have to be willing to settle for beta providers... a very small percentage of women fit this criteria.. and as a result. Men are proposing way less percentage wise than we ever have in civilized human history.. there is little benefit for Men to do so...average beckys such as yourself are now largly only going after the select top level men..and those men have options.. so why buy the cow.......
      please do not let all the sympathy simps in your comments and inbox, telling you every day that they want to drink your bath water, give you a false reality of what's really going on in these streets.. in the black community for instance only 1 out of 4 black women will ever get married.

    • @גקדןרק
      @גקדןרק Год назад +15

      The way you tried to sneak in abortion in there on a video about marriage and divorce is very telling...

    • @FootlessJo
      @FootlessJo Год назад

      @@גקדןרק ...where? Sorry, I'm confused?

  • @AbsoluteMotivation
    @AbsoluteMotivation Год назад +11888

    This was so incredibly insightful.

    • @heatman856
      @heatman856 Год назад +14

      It's crazy first thing I posted was how insightful this was

    • @AliBhai-sl8gc
      @AliBhai-sl8gc Год назад

      Hope you guys are well.
      For a divorce lawyer he is somewhat ignorant.
      Religious ppl have less divorce and in islam its there, but lower.
      Hes wrong. women can seek a divorce in islam. And you are not killed for divorce.
      Go look at the Quran there is an entire chapter call Al-Nisa (women). Divorce is explained in the Quran.
      The wife is not allowed to take half the mans wealth and cannot stop him from seeing the kids (if he is not a danger/violent etc).
      Only in Christian Catholic system is marriage for life and no divorce (irony right).
      Islam is the fastest growing religion in the USA, UK, Canada, Europe and the whole world. So muslim ppl must be getting married and having kids, as sleeping around is a major sin (just like in the bible, remember).
      UK alone sees every year 5000 ppl revert to islam. Of those 5000 about 3000 are women, mostly white women, who are university educated with an average age of 27.
      When they come to the dheen (religion) Conservative values follow. And they look to get married and have kids. As muslim women marry Muslim men only. This way we gain an excess demographic of young women.

    • @aarondavid5866
      @aarondavid5866 Год назад +16

      so the prenup has to literally say everything we acquire personally during the marriage belongs to use individually?

    • @jtjones4081
      @jtjones4081 Год назад +24

      Love is mystical marriage is contractual. The most likely ship to sink is a partnership. I agree that facts sound so cynical.

    • @robertrudick2492
      @robertrudick2492 Год назад +11

      Where does he practice Law?

  • @elegachi
    @elegachi 2 месяца назад +3

    I might be biased as a law student, but this guy said somethings that are so rational. Be like him honestly. This is like one of the best social critism I have read or heard

  • @calistathompson5538
    @calistathompson5538 Год назад +1039

    “Marriage is an inherently negligent activity. It’s like owning a lion.” This man picked the right career. It’s like working in the funeral or the liquor business. It will go on.

    • @icysnow57cold64
      @icysnow57cold64 Год назад +35

      I don't think the romantic type of love is special. And I am started to think that the romantic type of love isn't real. I mean about more than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, while most platonic best friends remain friends until death.
      I think that having a platonic best friend is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse is.
      Having someone who's like a sibling to you is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse. Also, you are more likely to be much more closer to someone who's like a brother or sister to you than you would be with a romantic partner or spouse.
      People tend to fight with their partner or spouse a lot more than they do with a platonic best friend, and you never fight with your best friend the way you fight with your partner or spouse.
      Partners and spouses are just temporary. If you break up or divorce them, it's hard to go back to them. With your platonic best friend, you're going to make things work, because they are your best friend, they are your go to partner. It's always easier to make amends with them than it is with a romantic partner or spouse.
      Romantic relationships are pointless, while platonic relationships are not.

    • @calistathompson5538
      @calistathompson5538 Год назад +4

      @@icysnow57cold64 you make a fine point. I really appreciate this perspective.

    • @econgator6153
      @econgator6153 Год назад +12

      It's hard to remember to not bang your friends

    • @calistathompson5538
      @calistathompson5538 Год назад +2

      Whatever works.

    • @enermaxstephens1051
      @enermaxstephens1051 Год назад +10

      That's where you're wrong, marriage is coming to an end. Marriage rates are declining rapidly. In 10 years, he may have to switch his legal focus to something else.

  • @jhy25
    @jhy25 Год назад +450

    I know a lot of us, sometimes myself included, think that attorneys are scumbags but this guy is spot on! He should be a marriage counselor as well.

  • @jojostorm
    @jojostorm Год назад +380

    This guy has so much knowledge he should start a podcast I could listen to him for hours seriously he can teach a lot of us

    • @patriciashearouse1449
      @patriciashearouse1449 Год назад +2

      I had the same exact thougth!

    • @georgeg2369
      @georgeg2369 Год назад

      He has - Google him

    • @probablynot1368
      @probablynot1368 Год назад +8

      He was interviewed for over 3 1/2 hours on the Lex Fridman channel about 3 weeks ago.

    • @hirogerthisisme
      @hirogerthisisme Год назад +1

      I don’t think he has the time…

    • @christinecordaro9589
      @christinecordaro9589 Год назад +1

      I said the same thing I could have listened to him for so much longer, I agreed with every word. He speaks truth in such an engaging way.

  • @venusignacio2978
    @venusignacio2978 15 дней назад +1

    This is the kind of a person I wanna be around with. So much wisdom he can share, my go to person if he is my friend.

  • @ejimahattah8079
    @ejimahattah8079 Год назад +864

    I think this video needs to be added to every pre marriage counseling session. Best marriage advice ever!

    • @tammyburns6467
      @tammyburns6467 Год назад +3

      Except he didn’t mention the most important thing. The government doesn’t uphold the marriage contract.

    • @ayeshak6822
      @ayeshak6822 Год назад +2

      Everything was going fine until they said divorce wasn't allowed in Muslim countries. That's false. Divorce is absolutely allowed in Islam.

    • @cagreninger
      @cagreninger Год назад

      This video is completely void of any value system…destined to fail

    • @lindan8729
      @lindan8729 Год назад

      Why?

    • @sharonjbe6496
      @sharonjbe6496 Год назад

      Too bad about the tatoos . . .

  • @hassansyed6087
    @hassansyed6087 Год назад +302

    "Why would you want to learn how to fight, IN A FIGHT??"
    That hit home for me.
    This whole podcast was a revelation. True enlightenment from a marriage soldier. He fights for each side but he soldiers forward.

    • @cstuartdc
      @cstuartdc Год назад +4

      Really really enjoyed the podcast.
      That said while his thesis is that marriage is an outdated and failed technology he didn’t present an alternative to raising children.
      Mom lives on oak street and Dad on maple in the same town?
      Single moms? A bunch of bitches in the same house? Single dads?
      Dad gets every Wednesday night and every other weekend (vanilla visitation schedule).
      If my sons want kids what are they supposed to do? Live in the basement while mom upstairs? Bird nesting? (Dad and mom alternate weeks in same house and buzz off on alternate weeks)
      Its easy to criticize; it’s hard to synthesize.

  • @NK-ho5vp
    @NK-ho5vp Год назад +579

    Started out thinking "what a total loud mouth jerk", ended the interview thinking " wish he could be my life coach". As always Mark, the beauty of these interviews is that people are never what you expect. What an amazing interview full of practical life truths.

    • @kris9259
      @kris9259 Год назад +7

      I had the exact same reaction. Good stuff.

    • @peppyskeptic
      @peppyskeptic Год назад +16

      Can I ask what made you think he was a jerk? I'm just curious and trying to learn. Thanks!

    • @kris9259
      @kris9259 Год назад +30

      @@peppyskeptic for me, I honestly think I judged him too quickly. He made a comment about women (a sex comment) and I assumed he was going to be a sexist. I ended feeling very wrong about my assumption.

    • @GozieZilla
      @GozieZilla Год назад +41

      You guys judge waaaaay to fast

    • @yyyd6559
      @yyyd6559 Год назад +13

      ​@@kris9259I hope you don't get judged the way you judge

  • @darlenedunn5693
    @darlenedunn5693 5 месяцев назад +3

    This lawyer was amazing. His view points so realistic and in this decade ...
    Honesty is admirable

  • @kollow
    @kollow Год назад +2756

    At 21 years of marriage, my wife inherited a substantial amount of money and within a month left me for a guy she met at the gym. We avoided a divorce attorney because I wanted to spare our children a nasty divorce. She was at least reasonable in the divorce, mostly because she knew she was stabbing me in the back. Being tossed aside like that was the most painful experience of my life. To this day, if something reminds me of that time, I feel it all over again. I've moved past my ex, but the pain is there, always waiting to pop its ugly head out.

    • @markj.stovall4969
      @markj.stovall4969 Год назад +422

      Lesson of the day: Hit the gym more often.

    • @TheAverageSavage1021
      @TheAverageSavage1021 Год назад +196

      Is she still with him? How long ago was this? I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through, and I hope your life is going better now, and that you meet your person when you are ready

    • @Happyboymargarine
      @Happyboymargarine Год назад

      She was banging him all along dude

    • @VortexDBD
      @VortexDBD Год назад +102

      Shoulda sued her

    • @matzohgirl
      @matzohgirl Год назад +91

      I am sorry for your upset. hitting the gym is a symptom she's going to be single.

  • @spookysea-monster5297
    @spookysea-monster5297 Год назад +546

    This video should be played to every teenager as they leave high school and be used as pre-marriage classes. Absolutely the most valuable video on all of RUclips.

    • @kota9087
      @kota9087 Год назад +1

      I was thinkin the same thing

    • @mo_bra3340
      @mo_bra3340 Год назад +1

      @LemonadeLiberal Yes! They should be weary about marriage just like the straight community! ;-D

    • @mo_bra3340
      @mo_bra3340 Год назад +2

      Agreed! I also think a pre-nup should be a standard part of obtaining a marriage license... or any other legal form process that needs to be filed before 2 people can wed!!!

    • @nealcollins435
      @nealcollins435 Год назад +2

      I love the comments!

    • @kota9087
      @kota9087 Год назад +1

      @@mo_bra3340 it literally makes no sense that its not a part of the process considering how often marriage fails

  • @THE_Glass_Grizzly
    @THE_Glass_Grizzly Год назад +275

    "You're going to die, does that undermine your life?" Is such a great way to look at this whole thing, honestly. This was a very good conversation to have.

    • @jax993
      @jax993 Год назад +3

      It’s the 1 thing you can count on 😂

    • @bone6495
      @bone6495 Год назад +3

      In divorce your waman will take at least half of your money and property, your children too more importantly. You will loose your friends and family who will almost certainly not be on your side. Death is preferable for many who go trough this.

    • @KJ-lb4tj
      @KJ-lb4tj Год назад

      ​@@bone6495yup, divorce is not something you want.

  • @ashleyrojas44
    @ashleyrojas44 3 месяца назад +2

    I really like this guy. I could listen to him for hours, even though there's a bit i dont agree with. He dropped so many gems in this interview too. So insightful. ❤️ Hope to see him again!

  • @SuperNewsman123
    @SuperNewsman123 Год назад +707

    Another fellow Divorce Lawyer here. Exceptional video, and phenomenal insight into what life is really behind the marital curtain. Bravo to all involved 🙌

    • @mithrandirthegrey7644
      @mithrandirthegrey7644 Год назад +22

      Is it really though? I've been married for 14 years and I don't recognize much of this. I guess I got lucky in that I married my neighbor/high school sweetheart. She's the only woman I've ever been with and while I find other women attractive - I've never had the inclination to cheat. I'm extremely happy and satisfied with where we are in our relationship. We're in our mid 30s and by the time we're 40 all our kids will be adults and we will be young-ish and still have time to enjoy our life together. Getting married and having kids early in life is really underappreciated.

    • @xIxHaZexIx
      @xIxHaZexIx Год назад +16

      ​@@mithrandirthegrey7644you are presenting anecdotal evidence.

    • @darlarmartin
      @darlarmartin Год назад +19

      ​@mithrandirthegrey7644 which makes you in the percentage that has no issues. He didn't say 100% and I think that is awesome for you and your spouse.

    • @paulv8133
      @paulv8133 Год назад

      ​@mithrandirthegrey7644 very cool, hope she feels the same way.

    • @Sam-fp8zm
      @Sam-fp8zm Год назад

      @@mithrandirthegrey7644 well done

  • @erinmcguire748
    @erinmcguire748 Год назад +401

    After seeing so many divorces, he clearly still feels very strongly about people being in love. I saw his eyes get red a few times when he was talking about love. What a great interview.

    • @vivere__
      @vivere__ Год назад +14

      So true, he still believes in the magic

    • @independ4416
      @independ4416 Год назад +12

      I can't help but notice how he contradicted himself toward the end of the video. Initially, he said people shouldn't look at other relationships and make assumptions about how happy two people are. Then he turned around and made those same assumptions about the couple he and his wife went to Disney World with. Other than that, excellent video. I appreciate his wisdom and insight.

    • @ungoyone
      @ungoyone Год назад +12

      @independ4416 I don't disagree with you but I think at first he was talking about general rules concerning marriage/relationships, and the end story was a personal experience that centered around him and his wife more than the other couple.
      But what do I know...

    • @independ4416
      @independ4416 Год назад +3

      @ungoyone I could be wrong but that personal experience that centered around him and his wife, was influenced by assumptions made from observing the other couple.

    • @oswurth8774
      @oswurth8774 Год назад

      Guy behind the camera sucks at talking, maybe an alright interview but the blue tie should have been let to talk

  • @dazedAndConfuzedd
    @dazedAndConfuzedd Год назад +457

    This guy NEEDS his own show or podcast. So entertaining, wise and down to earth it’s incredible. Literally breath taking. One of if not the best interview I’ve ever seen. Hands down.

  • @нетсубда
    @нетсубда 4 месяца назад +4

    The words that comes out of this guy is constant gold

  • @rollingtinfist
    @rollingtinfist Год назад +207

    60:00 phenomenal interview. I had an aunt who died at almost 80 after about 60 years married. My uncle in a private moment told me, life without her never occurred to him. They went through so much together and still maintained their love and devotion to each other, despite war, exile, etc.

  • @uplatenite8in
    @uplatenite8in 9 месяцев назад +2242

    ¨Whoever discovered water, wasn´t a fish. When we are in a thing, we don´t see it¨. Damn, incredibly profound statement.

    • @Teurab
      @Teurab 7 месяцев назад +6

      Could you elaborate it? I couldn't really understand what the meaning of it

    • @calibrated692
      @calibrated692 6 месяцев назад +76

      @@Teurab the fish is always in water. He doesn’t see it as water because he doesn’t know anything different and he’s always in the middle of it.
      In this context he used it as an analogy to say, when we are in a relationship we might not see the flaws of the other person or think about how it could go badly or turn out in the end because we are right in the middle of the relationship and we don’t think about those things.

    • @florlepi3309
      @florlepi3309 6 месяцев назад +10

      I think we always see the issue, but we deny it. We build a whole explanation to it, to cover it up. And in the end, when we don't want to justify it anymore, and see it for what it really is, that's when it's over

    • @camtron
      @camtron 6 месяцев назад +4

      It's a John Culkin quote. He was an advisor to the creators of Sesame Street.

    • @justagrlwithnoname
      @justagrlwithnoname 6 месяцев назад +4

      Reminds me of This is Water by David Foster Wallace

  • @takion732
    @takion732 Год назад +464

    This guy needs his own show! Extremely entertaining and insightful.

  • @drewg7441
    @drewg7441 5 месяцев назад +3

    "Falling feels like flying..for a little while" ... man, this guy is great. And he still believes in love.

  • @seomil8622
    @seomil8622 7 месяцев назад +470

    So sharp, intelligent, and witty. This guy is a dot connector, and a damn good story teller.

    • @ChristiColonel
      @ChristiColonel 4 месяца назад +4

      He ain't gonna be unemployed...ever.

  • @jness2312
    @jness2312 Год назад +220

    His views on marriage are pragmatic, without being jaded. James is a captivating story teller. I hope you bring him back.

  • @explorer678
    @explorer678 Год назад +338

    This video should actually be shown to everyone before they get married...its actually so insanely insightful

    • @jefaspirit
      @jefaspirit Год назад +13

      They won’t listen. 😅

    • @explorer678
      @explorer678 Год назад +4

      @@jefaspirit probably true

    • @wanglee21
      @wanglee21 Год назад +11

      If a women is not willing to have a real conversation and sign a prenup, a man "MUST" believe she is only in for her own gains. Walk away immediately

    • @relaxing_white_noises_by_j1980
      @relaxing_white_noises_by_j1980 Год назад +1

      It wouldn't be profitable for the marriage business...

    • @srwales
      @srwales Год назад +1

      AGREED!! I’m so glad I watched this

  • @kaydee7493
    @kaydee7493 3 месяца назад +1

    Honestly I love this guy he has a great personality and deff giving a real glimpse on things that don’t get talked about enough

  • @cleoc6698
    @cleoc6698 Год назад +357

    "I don't think I can learn eveything I need to know about myself from myself." - This hit like a truck as I've never heard it verbalized from another person so perfectly. I would kill to go out to dinner with this guy and just talk. What a fascinating human being.

    • @IYeleven
      @IYeleven Год назад +4

      So true

    • @sinverrette9803
      @sinverrette9803 Год назад +4

      Listen.. I felt that 100%.. we tend to get offended and deny when someone tells us about ourselves. Him saying that makes it make sense.

    • @sinverrette9803
      @sinverrette9803 Год назад +2

      CLEO me too. I bet he could've saved me a whole lot of heartbreak.

  • @tammic2016
    @tammic2016 Год назад +432

    This was nothing but gold for the entire hour he spoke. This video should be a requirement to watch when you apply for a marriage license!

    • @rotavarp
      @rotavarp Год назад +1

      Absolutely

    • @ocgal80
      @ocgal80 Год назад +2

      It ought to be; great suggestion!!

    • @thematriarchy2075
      @thematriarchy2075 Год назад +1

      And when you want to teach children what sexist talk sounds like.

    • @LP-123
      @LP-123 Год назад +11

      @@thematriarchy2075 lawyers live in reality and reflect the experience they've had/are having - not the aspiration of a future, perfectly egalitarian society. How is it sexist to suggest people thoroughly evaluate marriage and understand it's a legal contract - not a guarantee of anything? This is just real talk, nothing more.

    • @thematriarchy2075
      @thematriarchy2075 Год назад +3

      @@LP-123 Are you sure you listened to all of it, because i can't imagine you missed those mysoginistic parts.

  • @user-bd1xi3jl9n
    @user-bd1xi3jl9n Год назад +412

    can we have more soft white underbelly interviews like this with super educated people and hear their opinions? I love it so fascinating

    • @JokerCat9
      @JokerCat9 Год назад

      In a way, the soft white underbelly of marriage is divorce.

  • @TrisjensChronicles1203
    @TrisjensChronicles1203 4 месяца назад +8

    Gawwwd Dammm, who is this guy? I could listen to him for hours. Just finished the video and I had to watch it a second time!! This guy is dropping golden nuggets, this video will go down as one of the greatest of all times!! Goat status 🐐🐐🐐🐐

  • @NCFlexy
    @NCFlexy 11 месяцев назад +704

    Marriage meets the legal standards for negligence. That's pure gold.

    • @MichaelKoksharov
      @MichaelKoksharov 11 месяцев назад +4

      Indeed.

    • @asahel980
      @asahel980 10 месяцев назад +6

      Its more Insanity actually , because youre in love its messing with your brain.

    • @Adelicows
      @Adelicows 10 месяцев назад

      Marriage is not negligence 🙄 The dumb dumbs who never should have gotten married in the first place are the ones being negligent, not the concept of marriage itself. These comments make me feel incredibly lucky to be married to someone who actually loves me. Dang.

    • @FryRice59
      @FryRice59 10 месяцев назад +7

      “It’s like owning a lion!”

    • @mopheousredpill7462
      @mopheousredpill7462 10 месяцев назад +1

      marriage is like owning a lion 🤣😂🤣

  • @andreasdiamantopoulos2104
    @andreasdiamantopoulos2104 11 месяцев назад +547

    Wow,this guy speaks for about an hour and he is not boring at all

    • @wiedadewi8575
      @wiedadewi8575 10 месяцев назад +11

      He's a lawyer, remember? 😊

    • @mouved1
      @mouved1 10 месяцев назад

      ​@@wiedadewi8575 I heard a lawyer talk for 5 min, 5 minute of boring bs make me want to sleep

  • @TheAirlock
    @TheAirlock Год назад +403

    The purpose of marriage isn't to be happy, it's to grow together. Happiness is a byproduct of a well maintained marriage. Whether you're single or married happiness flows in and out like the tide for all humans.

    • @vl3525
      @vl3525 Год назад +14

      You phrased this beautiful 🤍

    • @ladylucile15
      @ladylucile15 Год назад +5

      Absolutely

    • @hasanalatrakchi
      @hasanalatrakchi Год назад +24

      you should be "growing together" even before marriage .. marriage should literally serve no purpose besides being mere celebration of togetherness

    • @kingdolo23
      @kingdolo23 Год назад +3

      Well said my friend

    • @antonyjh1234
      @antonyjh1234 Год назад +8

      No, the purpose of marriage was to tie one man to one woman, who could then support the children that were called urchins or sold at markets, females getting pregnant and all property owned by males makes it hard to support children on your own, an incredibly tough time to be female. Child Support originated from this.

  • @beckismith3934
    @beckismith3934 Месяц назад +1

    Cannot tell u how. Much this interview helped me ... ive never laughed. N smiled so much coming to the realizations of things

  • @ChosenPlaysYT
    @ChosenPlaysYT Год назад +458

    This was super refreshing. He’s unapologetically candid and authentic, while also being knowledgeable and relatable. If only our politicians were like this guy.

    • @guitarsoundsaround
      @guitarsoundsaround Год назад +4

      Why do people feel the need to bring politics into everything … go rewatch the video, you missed 99percent of it.

    • @edisinmedicine5512
      @edisinmedicine5512 Год назад

      Politicians aren’t relatable. They have to think about everything they speak and are forbidden from speaking candidly in fact most of these fucks read their speeches no one speaks from the heart

  • @groovygalaxies
    @groovygalaxies 11 месяцев назад +278

    "People lie to their therapist, but they won't lie to their divorce lawyer." Wow! I'm blown away. I want to read Sexton's books.

    • @ryanhorvath1308
      @ryanhorvath1308 11 месяцев назад +10

      It doesn't benefit you to lie to your lawyer - some form of the truth will eventually come out in the wash. I don't understand why people would want to lie to their therapist if they actually wanted help either but that's another story.

    • @moviebuff6490
      @moviebuff6490 11 месяцев назад +1

      He has published books about marriage? I'm not surprised.

    • @ireeblount8238
      @ireeblount8238 11 месяцев назад +4

      Therapy works when you work it. People don’t want to do the work, which is what he’s saying. The uncomfortable conversations in the beginning for the prenup… if you can’t do that, then you shouldn’t be getting married.

  • @coasterking5777
    @coasterking5777 Год назад +526

    “Falling feels like flying, at least for a little while”.
    Exceptional interview. This guy needs a publishing deal.Signed, a happily married woman who still gets butterflies after 23 years.

    • @carriehartman1787
      @carriehartman1787 Год назад +18

      Same! Married 22 years, we are the lucky ones ❤

    • @corrinnacorrinna5572
      @corrinnacorrinna5572 Год назад +14

      29 so far.....❤

    • @PonchoNugen
      @PonchoNugen Год назад +13

      42 years with two wonderful children and three beautiful grandchildren.

    • @carriehartman1787
      @carriehartman1787 Год назад +6

      We are the 44%💕. While not all of the 44% are happy, the 56% are not all happy as well!

    • @elijaprice
      @elijaprice Год назад +3

      "It's not how you fall, it's how you land" - French proverb.

  • @stephenmcisaac9552
    @stephenmcisaac9552 5 месяцев назад +2

    man, i could listen to this guy talk for hours and hours. Please bring him back!