Really Hard Times Will Not Last

In life, hard times happen. The old adage is that they often come in threes. But with affair recovery, hard times and moments come more often than that. How do you handle days that are not great? We know when working through infidelity that hard times and not so great days are often nonstop, but we can overcome them. When we take the critical steps required in recovery work the hard days will become less and less while equipping us to better handle the hard moments.
In this video I share one of my worst days, where nothing seemed to go right, and hit after hit kept happening. Have you ever had a day like that? On days like this it feels like its never going to end. But what if we could look back some day and dare I say, even laugh about certain hard days and not so great moments. I am sure even now you can look back in your past at some moments that made you just cringe in the moment but now you laugh about it.
I hope my story and the additional stories I share in this video encourage you and give you hope that better days are ahead, and we at Affair Recovery are here for you to help you in that journey.
To Healing,
Rick Reynolds
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Infidelity expert Rick Reynolds, LCSW, is one of America’s foremost authorities on helping individuals and couples struggling with affairs and compulsive sexual behaviors. He is Founder and President of AffairRecovery.com, the first company to offer anonymous worldwide online group support for those impacted by infidelity. Reynolds holds a Master's Degree in Social Work and is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. In 1992, Reynolds developed and began leading “affair recovery groups.” He received his Master's of Social Work from the University of Denver and completed three years of post-graduate training at the Colorado Institute for Marriage and Family Therapy. He has also worked at the nationally-known Minirth-Meier Tunnel & Wilson Clinic before moving on to private practice: www.affairrecovery.com/about-...

[@Xyhelm]

THIS! I remember what it was like going through my wife's affair. There probably was a period of 5 months when I didn't laugh nor smile. I remember the first time I laughed... it HURT because my body hadn't laughed in so long. It is great to see this video doesn't minimize the emotional pain of those bad times and bad days. As I have had nearly 3 years of recovery from those hard times, this video is the same advice that I give others... Maybe you cannot laugh yet, but you will. Why? Because hard times do not last! Do I laugh at my wife's infidelity? Never! But I laugh at a number of the ridiculous aspects of my past. BUT, the main advice I would give, as he says in the video, show yourself grace and take things off your plate. When you are currently in hard times, there are few things more important than SELF CARE. Laughter comes much later.

[@shannonace3463]

Did u forgive her? r yall togethwr?

[@reasonableification]

Thanks Rick. I am having a not so good day, and this helped put things in perspective for me. I’m also glad you found a way to laugh in the midst of stress and cancer treatment. No matter how serious things feel, we can find something to smile about if we choose to.

[@ciroceron1035]

I think that to each person, the grief comes differently, and in different intensities, but I can agree with this as I've had to exhaust every emotion for a long time regarding the infidelity, and all I could do WAS laugh.. but its a good thing. It shows me that I've taken the time for myself and have done enough healing work to get me to that point. Very good insight Rick, thank you

[@kevinkennett7474]

Umm, this video is really strange. It is one thing to laugh about a string of bad events years later. I have done that myself. However, infidelity is not an event where people laugh about it years later. We have taken 3 courses at AF trying to heal from my wife's affair. I will never laugh at this event. It tore our family apart. I tried killing myself. Laugh? This video is just going to trigger every single betrayed out here. Talk about making light of a serious situation. Wow.

[@andrewbender9399]

Kevin,
I don't know if you come from faith, yet, I am keeping you in my prayers no matter my ignorance. I am in a similar boat. This is not an easy time and it is devastating. You understand. I do not think Rick is trying to make light of the situation. Everything in my life comes down to perception I have versus perspective I have. I have really bad days and really good days. I think what Rick is trying to say is the emotions are going to happen. You have to go through to get the other side. And when you look back at your journey you see the strength you have now (later) but also the incredible strength you had then (the now... as you are going through it). Don't hurt yourself, you are valuable to so many people, even me, and I don't know you from Adam. This was not your fault, even if you have issues, it wasn't your fault. People care about you.
I am in solo counseling, couples counseling, I have done Hope Restored w/ Focus on Family, I watch these videos, and others, I have done Retreauville with the Catholic church and I am not even Catholic. I have also been doing 'Hope for Men' from the Pure Desires ministry. So... I am with you on going to war on this situation amd the effects it has had on your life. And I know you can do this. Feel the hurt (maybe forever) but still find laughter and beauty in life, even when you look back. William Butler Yeats wrote a poem called Easter 1913, and the line "a terrible beauty is born...", and that has become my mantra. I do EMDR and ASR for my trauma healing also... but what I javelin learned is you can't go through this alone. But you can get through this. It is a process. And I know this seems like platitudes, but I really believe it. God bless you, sir. You are a courageous man and deserve to still have joy and find laughter. It will come it takes time. You are in my prayers.
Sincerely, Andrew

[@jimobrien6903]

I am three years out from my wife's affair and cheating that she did. You're so right as I will never laugh at it. I will never forgive or forget it either. It has done so much mental damage to me. Lots more bad days than good days for me due to it.

[@reasonableification]

I understand your feelings, but I think Rick, who was doing cancer treatment when this happened, was pointing out that even when the core of situation isn’t funny, (cancer isn’t funny either) sometimes our ability to laugh at moments in the situation can help ease the pain and confusion we feel. Peace and healing to you.