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A Past Participant's Story on Video
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- Опубликовано: 30 авг 2016
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This wonderful couple share their journey of recovery after her affair through our EMS Weekend intensive as well as her experience with the online Hope for Healing course for unfaithful spouses.
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2 year affair, no respect and the guy reduced himself to doormat !
He deserve a better life.
Honestly she does not seem remorseful and I wonder how long before she cheats again. There was no real consequences for her actions and as such she has not experienced any loss, except, MAYBE, her AP.
Agreed. The lack of remorse and empathy is just incredible. Never a thought of the effect on him, his pain , the trauma etc. It was all about worrying about her down future.
@@ronaldstark8342 exactly my thoughts.
Yes. 12:27, soon as she mentions her "infatuation" with 'someone at the gym', you can see BS become extremely uncomfortable. It is always sore and painful. I bet you that she wears the pants and he still feels pretty undervalidated.
Almost instantly, what leaps out is her high degree of solipsism. As others have noted, I don't sense any real remorse from her. He was a classic infidelity victim husband: nose to the grindstone, trying to be a provider, assuming she was appreciative of his quotidian, unflagging effort, which clearly she wasn't. Their kids must be teens by now. Wonder where this couple is now.
I wouldn’t be so quick to judge the state of others relationship. Especially due to your personal perspective as to her emotional state. I mean we’re all here because we’re either betrayed or betrayer’s… regardless of which we are, most of us are here because we missed some pretty enormous red flags or signs that our marriage was in trouble… myself I am both a betrayer and the betrayed. I am unfortunately the wife of a sex addict for over 20 years and unfortunately found myself having an affair a few years after marriage now about 16 years ago for a couple weeks. So for me it is fairly easy to relate to both parties, though the video titled “his addiction, her affair” or something along those lines and the one dealing with SSA as it was another of our marriage’s obstacles. Take care!
I agree. Duty over remorse. Or so it seems.
Wow, I'm a Christian, but it seems to me that choosing this marriage for her was sacrilege and that she definitely doesn't love her husband, but the idea of marriage. It makes me sad because this poor man seems to love her intensely and to the point that he just made it seem like he was to blame for her choices. All the while it looked like she had the power to decide whether or not she wanted him when it should be the other way around. I pray I'm wrong and I hope it's real, but I was sad to see this video.
I think that may have been true in the beginning, as it sounds as though she was emotionally immature as many unfaithful are. However it is apparent towards the end of this testimonial that she grows exponentially and their marriage is hopefully fully restored.
I did want to make a single more personal observation in what you stated about how it “should” not be the unfaithful’s choice it should be the choice of the betrayed’s. While as the betrayed myself I completely understand the sentiment, I know in my heart that is my fear, insecurities, and resentment speaking and not the Truth. In fact it is quite the opposite! You see it was both our choice’s to enter in to our marriage, we made that decision and promise together. He made the choice to go outside of our marriage, which was 100% his choice not mine. I was unaware of his choice but we all played a role in that choice whether we realized it or not. At that point it is up to the unfaithful, as the betrayed usually isn’t even aware of the situation. Once the betrayed is aware of the situation they do have the option to leave, of course but many times the betrayed may want to at least investigate whether the marriage can be restored. That is the point at which it is up to the unfaithful to actively CHOOSE their spouse, since they were the ones who chose to go outside of the marriage restoration of the marriage is absolutely dependent on the willingness of the unfaithful to actively pursue their betrayed spouse.
Yes, but the betrayer never learns anything because there never is any consequence for them if they do not feel the fear of losing what they had because of their bad choices then they will never have an incentive to change and the betrayed never gets the relationship and love that they deserve, it is a risk and it may end in a permanent separation but then at least the betrayed can move on and seek the healing they deserve and then open themselves up for the possibility of a new and healthy relationship.
She is so incredibly lucky to have a husband like that.
Am not understanding please help me.if they want someone else why are you begging.male or female leave! Why beg to be loved! What am I missing
for some reason I have doubt...
He has to be the strongest man on the planet.
This guy deserves the damn medal 🎖 of honor.
And her honesty is beyond anything i may have ever heard...
Standing in faith
Agree. I hope she expresses appreciation to him daily.
Though I fear she doesn’t.
A little surprised he doesn’t express much about the pain he must have felt. No mention of feelings of inadequacy, rejection, etc..
This is amazing. I am the betrayed, and feel like I am going through exactly what the husband was going through. I’m not believing what other people are telling me and keeping my faith that my husband will see just exactly what he’s doing to our family. About to give birth in less than 20 days, and I just hope that we could have a story like yours.
How are things now?
Do you mind sharing an update? If you've reconciled, any advice you'd others in that position?
An interesting saying "Don't judge the book by it's cover". 2024 and Michael and Melinda are still married and serving others with their talents at local church.
Good to hear.
Can we get an update on their relationship now?
I wonder what would have happened if the divorce had gone thru?
its soo surpising how our story is exactly the same. how I grew up, my way of thinking is soo like hers and how our relationship were, together but not really emotionally communicating while raising up the kids etc..its good to know that they worked out, even after everything that they've been through,at the verge of divorce. gives so much hope
THANK YOU! Thank you for sharing your story.
Would love an update on this beautiful couple.
So she agreed to go to the program strictly because she wanted to make herself a better person for her affair partner. Michael's friend did not do him any favors by talking him out of divorce. Sadly had Michael filed for divorce the judge would have ordered him to pay child support and probably alimony because his wife was not working
So she decides that she wants to call off the divorce and end the affair and she notifies Michael via email at work. Just when I think this woman couldn't be any worse she proves me wrong. If she felt so strongly about her marriage and her family why didn't she pick up the phone and call him? This man is going to regret staying married to her. I would be willing to bet the only time they have physical relations is when she says yes
Beautiful testimony . Thank you
I loved this video and story it’s exactly what I needed right now.. I have lost hope in my marriage and I want this story to be mine as well..
I have so many questions and so few answers.. how do I get to this point?
Hi @Weni Benjamin - you can send an email to us at info@hope-now.com with your questions, and one of our staff members will answer.
This video was difficult to watch and digest.
I have found many other of this channels videos helpful.
This one, not so much.
Hi Michael and Melinda for being God’s mouthpiece for me today. I am the unfaithful husband and I am even more committed to heal and be patient with myself and our process and to trust God more. Would you mind sharing emails with me so I can be guided in my own healing process? Hoping that you can spare some time. Thank you
Hi Vic, so glad to hear you found some hope and encouragement for your journey from Michael and Melinda. I'm thankful they were willing to share their story in such a public way just to encourage you and so many others. However, to protect our past participants and mentor couples, we don't allow sharing of emails. On our site, we have a safe and secure private messaging system set up. If you would like to converse with them, or others, please visit www.affairrecovery.com/user/login?destination=node/56178 and set up your own account.
Woman is seriously blessed and am glad for a happy ending for once
Seriously best wishes
Good Man. 👍
Matthew 19:9.