Man for a day, woman for a day. | Diane Torr | TEDxStGeorg
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- Опубликовано: 18 апр 2016
- What is to gain from living a day of another gender? Diane Torr shows a perspective inspired by experiences from both male and female behaviours.
Diane Torr is a performance artist, who since the 1980s has performed as a male. In her workshops "man for a day" / "woman for a day" Diane resolves gender prejudices and teaches both males and females to see the world as well as themselfes from the opposite genders perspective.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
Diane Torr was at the end of her life here, with just over a year to live. Soon after she gave this Ted talk she was diagnosed with a brain tumour. However, she was an original thinker, lived an interesting life, and clearly lived it to the full right to the end. That is a great achievement.
Diana Torr - Born 19th November 1948, Died 31st May 2017.
Thank you.
Oh sad to know a great mind
With a tumour .
Spoke to us deeply, with compassion for all
Thank you. Brave person.
💜💜💜
"I only know how it feels to be me."
that should be quite common. which also results in people "meaning well" not meaning whats good for you, but what they imagine that to be, which may be bad n very-much so.
RIP, Ms Torr. So tragic when those of our human race, who wish to help us, die far too young or suffer debilitating disease. Condolences to her family & friends. xx :(
She died???
You just wrote your own obituary!
yes a true human being I'm glad this talk lives on
Discard
Fantastic talk and really interesting work! I only very recently found out that she passed last year, which is a huge loss for us all. As a young drag king myself, I feel an immense amount of love and respect for the performers that came before me and paved the way, and I am glad to see they won't be forgotten. Thank you Diane Torr, for all you have given us!
passed?
that is so sad
Passed what? Gas? She's not Snoop Dog. Only her family will probably even really remember that she existed. I my self completely forgot this video existed until I was replied to.
So sorry
I was sad to learn she died of a brain tumor in May 2017 at the age of 68.
Alexi Holford May she rest in peace.
NO! ;_;
Oh, that's sad. :(
thank you for saying this. wow
After hearing her say that "gender is a social construct", that doesn't surprise me one bit. But it is sad to hear.
I like the "I have no idea what it feels like to be a man and I have no idea what is feels like to be a woman. I only know what it feels like to be me." I can totally relate to that even though in some ways I'm a female gender conformist in that I'm married to a man. However, I don't wear makeup and I don't style my hair, I do not feel maternal, have not had the desire to have children, I never liked playing girlie games (dolls etc) and I'm uncomfortable in skirts, dresses and high heels; I mostly wear riding kit, sports gear and jeans. I would think that probably everyone only really knows what it feels like to be themselves...
The key is that we're all experiencing this life for the first time.
Thats what we would call a tomboy
@@-lancepie-1002 i think would is the operative word here.
@@jaynedough130 maybe
I was in the exact same boat to the letter for most of my life, but that quote hit on a different level. It's saying stuff like what she said that made me realize I'm NB.
I wish more of us could step into one another's shoes like this! Imagine how much more understanding could come from it!!
You can if you choose to.
Yep. You should never judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes.
Then it's okay cause you're a mile away - and you've got their shoes!
very nice, reasonable approach - not denial - not acknowledgement - just challenge
Do sorry to find out she is gone. This work was so enlightening to so many. Rip, Diane.
Brilliant analysis of gender roles. Don't stop what you're doing. I'm presonally delighted at the work you are doing when you give the genders a chance to discover the true behavior of the other gender, rather than use biased false assumptions.
Another woman who was an artistic genius, passed over for a MacArthur.The most generous artistic colleague in the Performance Art scene of downtown NYC.Creatively brilliant with a breadth & depth of knowledge co-existing with intellectual originality.
Eye opening,
I am always awed that men can walk anytime of night, no hassle.
I look out the window sometimes 1, 2 or 3 o'clock or any other odd times, men walking sometimes for no apparent reason.
I love being alone, or taking a leisure walk.
Used to enjoy sitting in the park, in nature. Now this is impossible.
Me too, I would love to walk in moonlight on a winter night, enjoy the starry sky and the silence. Or a midnight walk in the forest or on a empty beach or whatever. It is truly amazing and outrageous that we can not do this because of, and this is scariest of all, our OWN KIND! It blows my mind really :(( And not just women, men too you know. They have every reason to feel unsafe as well.
@@jesterday2222
Thanks for opening my eyes!! my mind.
But women have it all. Can you name a law that benefits men that doesn't benefits women. There is no such laws that benefit men. But there are lot for women. Women live longer in a safer living conditions. Ladies first in every good thing and men are first in every risk and responsibility.
It is if you can appear male. lol
I can think of so many times where I was dismissed because I am a female. And I stand there knowing if I had been a man that I would be treated better.
I'm sure it's situational. If your car breaks down and you're stuck on the side of the road, you're going to have a much greater chance of someone stopping to help you than they would a man, just as one example.
@@patrickbarnes9874 exactly. People don't see the advantage they have belonging to a certain gender.instead they only see the drawbacks. You can't have only the advantages. That's how it is
@@ronaldreagan7772 I feel the point is you shouldn't have to experience either, because both advantages and disadvantages come from this social script.
@@patrickbarnes9874 That literally happened to me, waited for hours nobody stopped, i’m a woman
@@Naruto10000Fan And I'm pretty sure they are men who are dismissed as well, they are talking about in general.
Great analysis, delivery!
This was so nice and powerful to listen to. Thank you
Fascinating to listen to and think about
this was amazing , learned so much from it
Hello dear, please i want us to be good friends if you dont mind
I wish there were workshops like this where I live.
Where do i sign up? I always wanted to do this. ALWAYS.
As a sisgendered straight bearded guy I have thought about this transition before and some of these insights are interesting to me, I do feel a lot of the problems males have (mentioned was being able to gigle uncontrolably as a female) and vice versa are very society dictated. As an autist (aspergers, only diagnosed at 27, 31 now) I have never really understood those limitations 100%, I have learned to feel them over time as I tried to adapt to 'normal' life, but I never agreed with the way society wants me and others to feel and express, maybe this has given me the option to explore slightly more freely, but I would still have loved to join her course if I could have
I'd love to have a conversation with you about all of this over tea sometime. If you're ever in Alaska, let me know lol
Idk though..that woman that kept following her around at the party sounded like a grade A creep..
imagine if a guy did that to a woman
If it wouldn't've blown her cover, she probably would've told the woman to leave her alone, she wasn't interested or something...
@@Queef_Storm Like, if it didn't happen? xD
Actually, that's great. We know the creep who won't take a polite brush-off....& has to turn it into a police report. Now we see, women can be asses, too!
@@markfoster1520
..There are people who think that women are all just nice and polite, and can't be mean/rude/(insert other negative things here)?
Rest in Peace, Diane Torr.
Anyone else notice the lightbulbs change over the course of the speech?
Serenity Feueropal Thank you, Serenity, I'd noticed something was going on. The light bulbs are turning white as Diane speaks. I'm wondering if this was an effect for every speaker at this event, because it would make sense.
Good eye!
I spotted that shortly after it started.
It's the gradual enlightenment of the audience
Yes!
Interesting n informative talk. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.
This is a great talk. I have never heard of this topic. Very informative.
I wish I could do this work shop!
So do I!
Paula Barrocas Me too! Very interesting talk.
Wow...all women who want to be men...no; King! Have a lion hold you over the heads of the crowd!
Hey, that happens.... every parade. If I was more pretty (& 25 years younger), I'd like to see female liberty.
Still....can anyone know "gender" without being anchored to it?
Paula Barrocas it would be cool to be more of a man.
Just dress up as a man and try ;)
15:56 - “I actually have no idea how it feels to be a man, I have no idea how it feels to be a woman, all I know is how it feels to be ME...” I relate to this so hard. I identify as “non-binary”. I went through two puberties - age 14 to 17 as a female, then I started having irregular periods (until they eventually stopped altogether), growing facial hair, and my singing register dropped from alto to tenor in less than a year, so, basically, as male of a puberty as I could have with female anatomy. I even dress a lot like her - masculine clothes with a full face of makeup (usually when I go out, or perform my poetry). I have experienced some male privilege, but I have no idea what to do with it because I was socialized as a female, but I don’t know how to be female either. I (unintentionally) “manspread” when I sit, then I catch myself and the female side of me kicks in and I try to make myself so small and take up as little space as possible. “Non-binary” is real. Not every non-binary person shares my experiences (which were caused, as best as my docs can guess, by having polycystic ovarian syndrome or PCOS), but I appreciate this individual (not sure of their preferred pronouns) calling attention to those of us who are on the gender spectrum, not in the binary.
Hello dear, please i want us to be good friends if you dont mind
Fascinating! I want to do a workshop!
How it feels to be "me"!
Well said!
Breath taking
Im crazy about the idea of going to thouse brillant workshops👌🏻
Hello dear, please i want us to be good friends if you dont mind
I do believe are gender roles are socially constructed, but what always amazes me is how people accept those roles and are afraid to challenge them. I enjoy being myself and pushing the limits of my possibilities whether it be a girl thing or a guy thing,I do not suffer from genderism.if someone thinks my behaviour is socially male then they have to change their eye glasses, cause I m just going to be me,and we should all push those limits.
What gives you the right to tell me how to live my life ?
Not sure what was up with the punctuation marks, but fantastic talk
Amazing ❤️
Summed it up nicely at the end "the possibility to be more". Cause I have to tell ya, that experience she had as a man at the bar - Extremely fucken rare.
Wonderful.
Empathy is great when experiences facilitate it. If you need to cross dress in order to have empathy for a female afraid to stand up for herself, or a man unable to get a grip on what it is to be overbearing and boorish, you have a bigger issue. I appreciate Diane's concept and the workshops she does for those needing some hands on experience to understand themselves better. But reality dictates that the therapy you really need is just being substituted with a clothing and makeup change. It's not about social constructs, it's about parenting, education and personal fortitude.
my assumption was like that she explained. the freedom ish, and the lack of popularity. i still never fully give my self perm to giggle cuz of my mom ironically
I actually started my channel, in part, because I wanted to share how drastic things can change, especially every day life. I recognize the feeling she describes, like women have given me an abundance of grace, patience, and understanding regarding my transition to womanhood, and I'm honored by that level of humanity. Women are the worlds' strongest resource, and if we could just let them grow and flourish......
Amen sister. Xx
Really interesting.
i would like to try this..mainly because Every time i go enjoy a walk..im stalked by predators. Sadly since forever these men always stop and try to pick me up. Im going out tomorrow more androgynous so i wont be scared anymore.
Frugal ETee On Earth
Just because a man tries to "pick you up" or "hit on you" doesn't make him a predator.
I hear you. As a girl and young woman it was exhausting for me as well. It's annoying to have our flow interrupted by strangers constantly and to have to spend so much energy weighing our safety when we'd rather just be taking in the scenery and being present with our own thoughts.
Jennifer No, but it's still scary when it happens and you're alone. There's no way of knowing the guys intentions. The ONLY way to stay safe is to assume the worst and get out of there. Is it fair? No. But if we want to stay safe, it's what has to happen.
Getting to be labeled a predator just for having an interest in you, man that male privilege we got is really great! Maybe instead take that girl power pill and be strong and independent rather than pretending to be a victim of something that hasn’t even happened.
@@nothankyou9906 So if someone tried to pick you up an the street, you'd assume their intentions are good and would just go with them? You're very trusting.
I've always dreamed of doing this. Become a man and live that days as free of fear and constant unwanted, uncalled, completely-against-my-will personal space invasion. Going to one of her work shops would be such a great gorgeous opportunity but sadly there's nothing like that in my third world country 😪🇬🇹 She's doing such a great thing 👏👏👏👏👏👏💐
Sadly, she died of a brain tumor in 2017.
@@andiemorgan961 🙊 I had no idea. Thanks for letting me know 😪💔
@@andiemorgan961 and for that I'm very thankful tho I was quite shocked with the news 'cause... It's really unfortunate and so sad 🤧💔 Hopefully her followers and crew kept it going 'cause it's a awesome opportunity in life for us to be as free of fear and other stuff and males are in their day by day.
And thanks, Andie. You too 💐
Gender have nothing to do with becoming or not becoming a victim
Please just think
Men gets harassed as well but it is just not talked about that much or not taken seriously
It is just PUBLICLY is not that common but at least you can get help more quickly if it is in public
Gender have nothing to do with personality and worth
YOU shape that as a person!
I would love to do this for a weekend.
Very insightful.
Thanks for having the courage to share this experience with us. 😊
I will admit I wonder what experience I might gain from trying something like this. While I would love to have a self conference boost, I don't think I want to give up the wonderful traits Women have of patience, forgiveness, gentleness, being coy, nurturing, etc...All the positive Female qualities that help make society a wonderful place to live in. And Men also have positive qualities about them! 🙂 That's why I think that when you bring the best of both Men and Women positive qualities, the World is a better place than when you arrived. 😊
----------
Woah! The person in the middle and the other one to my far right look similar to my older brother. He also likes having a mustache. 😮
Hello dear, please i want us to be good friends if you dont mind
My condolences to her family & friends.
Can you really be "different" in a day? The week sounds better....You could learn so much.
Mark Foster and a woman from my slumber ooiijjjuuyygtrrtokhhv cvcx.
Making
Its funny as my experience was the opposite (& the same) even in my first few days (living as) & at work as a woman, I got served often immediately in bars (where before I was the last mortal to get served! both men & women (very surprisingly) opened doors for me!! & I even think I have experienced more women hitting on me than my (previously) very boring life before! It was SOO weird! (If only I could have filmed my experiences it was surreal!)
I wish we could see your experience too, it would be very interesting.
I have noticed though that it is easier to get served as a woman if the bar is not overly crowded. But when there's a real crowd, men get seen befvre women and people mvve for them in a way they don't for women.
Many women say as they get older they have a huge problem getting people in shops etc. to even see them. Middle-aged women say they are almost invisible. I haven't experienced that myself yet, but I have seen older women ignored. It's like eyes just glaze over and don't land on them when they're not young and pretty anymore. Not just male servers, either.
Hello dear, please i want us to be good friends if you dont mind
Reminds me of Eddie Izzard.
I would love to do this for a week.
All you can experience is, others reaction to you, as it happens in the brain, although social constucts define behaviour, they are still innate...we are wired differently, but can achieve anything if we are supported, believed in and treated as individuals.
All kinds of awesome PC speech, reality dictates you shut up and do your job....whatever that is. What you do in your bedroom or at YOUR home, as long as it isnt lawless and affect others, more power to you. respect is earned, not deserved. equality is earned, not automatic. Support is for those who show profound interest in their pursuits, parents, colleagues and family shouldnt "SUPPORT" vacillating ideals and lifestyles and attitudes that are socially fabricated and driven. knowing who you are is accepting that not everyone thinks your likes and dislikes are normal or even shared. This is called respect for others......a virtue lost on the LGBTQ community as a WHOLE!
@@wjgoh653 she is wright, besides, i dont get the point of your answer, has nothing to do with what she wrote. Some of you really like to be rude
@@dreamlove361 very true. It's interesting to me how some people just reject the idea of being weird, like having characteristics outside of set gender roles is suddenly going to make you unproductive or unprofessional. Most of the time, that is not the case, it makes you comfortable enough to make you even more focused. Being gender variant is no different than being a man or a woman, we all have to wash our faces and put on deodorant, why are we acting like it's a big deal?
I didn't realize how much difference there was until I hired my first man. I had always been told there was no discrimination in my field. I saw women (with their own jobs) bending over backwards to assist this man to do his job. When he had to do research, women in other areas assisted him, where they would point at the reference books, and (haughtily) tell the women to "Look it up!" For him they would get the book, find the page, and all but underline it for him.
Omg my daughter's suggested this as a way to help stop sexism
Yeah i think its a good way for women to understand the unfairness of dating market toward men.
@@eddieazimi5865 thankfully I'm not keen in buying dates
Very cool
Interesting! Very interesting.
Brilliant
This world need versatile HUMAN beings. The old fashioned pink versus blue belongs to the fifties of the past century.
Androgynous u r a CULTURAL MARXIST
Until it's time to pay the bill or the lights go out. Meow
I’m trans but not transitioning. It’s taken a long time to say that with certainty. This is a lovely discussion of gender ❤️
I was the first born female, with three male younger siblings, and I basically had no rights. I hated the fact, that I was born female.
You'll have to expand to get a response. I come from a house or three daughters....and me.
Gail Lane well maybe sexism??? Don’t say you’re trans to escape sociality pressures on women
I feel you from the reverse perspective. It goes both ways.
@@Rand0m411 I was the first born male with no rights in my family, with several older and younger siblings, and I basically had no rights. I was at the mercy of others.
You were born in 1215?
At the moment she said "to have the experience of... somebody of another gender... was not aware of the possibilities.., to create something new... I had a realization that it could be quite useful.", what popped into my mind was this: What if the men in your life, past or present, were really bad role models? To me it would take some work to become that man in one day.
It really is Butler's Gender Performativity theory in action. How wonderful.
The possibility to be more...❤️
And be more regardless of what your gender is.
Hmm, maybe times were different then but having a woman approach you isn't common to the male experience. I've never seen it happen and women have explained to me how they've never tried to make a move.
@@karinakelly7573 Yeah, an explanation at least as likely as her version.
Wow
I like that part about 'All I know is how it feels to be me'. I can relate to that. What I can't relate to is the assumptions that men have all this alleged power and women don't. As a man I've had the experience of shopping for a car by myself and paying sticker price plus whatever else the dealer slapped on as extra fees for everything they could drum up and then some, and shopping for a car with a woman helping me bargain and getting a better deal than I ever did by myself. I've also had the experience of trying to get a beer at a tavern and going thirsty until a woman friend finally got the attention of the bar keeper and ordered beers for both of us. I could go on and on about my own experiences as a man that contradict all the stereotypical examples usually presented of men having all the power and women having none. As I said, all I know is how it feels to be me.
I think you might be interested in seeing Paula Stone Williams' TEDxMile High talk, "I've lived as a man & a woman--here's what I learned". Enjoy! =)
ALL men will admit they don't know how it feels to be a woman.
very enlightening. TFS :)
I really would have like to meet her
That g note at the beginning tho
i dig it
I'm bigender so this is very real to me, seeing the world from both sides of the gender spectrum.
That isnt a real thing
what would your definition of bigender be please ?
the talk was kinda poor. but the concept was awesome can i sign up for this course, i was trying to be female anyways for possible gender exploration but little luck. maybe she could assist me pull it off.
6:30 she wasn't "nonplussed " which means confused / perplexed. She was nonchalant
In north america it can also mean unperturbed
Nice
RIP Miss Diane
If I dragged up I'd look like Dame Edna Everage
If I butched up, and shaved my head, I'd look like Danny de Vito
The audience reactions to the group of women dressed as men was: “whoa”. The audience reaction of men dressed as women was: laughter. Why is it funny?
Is anyone else teaching this ? I would love to take this work shop
I am 6"4 250 pounds. Muscular.
I don't think I can pass as a woman.
Same for small woman with broad hips and large chest.
Padding used by drag queens would soften your figure. There are tall muscular women around too.
also women can flatten their chest and wear clothing that makes their figure more rectangular.
i heard the g-note at the beginning... I'm dead now
Ariella Marmon what does this mean
when I was
I like Diane torr that pic look good no wonder she tryed to get him haha. Very true what she says and experience always matters.
a good video
Sounds really interesting. Wonder if these workshops are still being given. By other people, mind you, as I see in the comment section that Diane has sadly passed away.
same here . know how it feels to be me! i think thats not uncommon
RIP;;;;
Often wondered what it would be like to be a man. I asked my dad alot growing up. Good presentation .
Well...to be a man...the world is yours!...Unfortunately there are other men who think differently.
You are not blocked to apply to a college or a job....But you can't approach a pretty jogging woman (I've learned)....
You aren't allowed to cry in public...this is an Americanism...unless it is a funeral...& then...even then...
But you'd have to have lived as the other gender from birth to know what is expected & what is forbidden.
its pretty dope. Just imagine being hella strong, no period, and having common sense.
@@markfoster1520
Other men may have had other experiences than yours.
Its important to remember that any given demographic wont all be the same.
Which is the reason why comparing all women to the less than 1/10.000 men who make up the so called power elite, doesnt really hold water.
Especially considering that most of society's weakest, downtrodden are also men.
She had way better game than I have, and she never even spoke a word to the woman. I give up!
Refreshing thanks. I would totally go to a woman for a day workshop. Get to wear a shirt.
Hello dear, please i want us to be good friends if you dont mind
she actually quoted Judith Butler un-ironically? Weird...
A more balanced view. Refreshing 👍🏻
Ah yes, it is like what happened in "Yentl".
If it could be so sweet...but, yes, it would ultimately be so crushing.
"But...she's such a 'Funny Girl'!"
Just be who you want to be and don't feel the need to experiment just to comply with current trends. Don't be confused or influenced by fashion film or TV just feel comfortable in your own skin and do what you need to and be happy and responsible just Let it be.
She makes it sound like being a man is somehow awesome. Why does it feel so soul-crushing for me then?
1425363878 oh no! why are you feeling soul crushed? being a person comes first and then being kind. and then you should decide what style you want to be to interact the way you want. obviously not everyone reacts the same.
? ? I'm not sure of that. If you mean the onus is on you...it is. No woman ever approached me....
Offering to show me her etchings..... I wish women weren't so...cut-him-off-quick! Let me down easy sometimes.
I am MORE. MORE then a gender. Thank you.
really? If your a male....try having a baby. If your a female try getting yourself pregnant. In the end, there are things you CANT do, whether male or female. We arent equal in ability, only in opportunity. When you try and fail, time to move on.
hmmm.... this talk makes you think. i'm glad to hear a male perspective from a female. we're not fully insane and irrational... all the time... 8D
U are very bright and beautiful!
“Women stood out of her way.”
No kidding. May be some preconceived notions there.
Can you imagine that woman saw that man again now!? She finally knows why 'he' left!
Why did you not just have a conversation with the woman. Why do you assume she was coming onto you?
If you'd been listening, you'd know that she didn't want her voice to give her away as a woman.
And she didn't want her "cover" blown...she looks pretty good. European, right?
There is a say in my country that says ladies first. So i don't know what she is talking about
Why do we need to be a different gender in order to respect one another?
I understand what you're saying, respect should be a given, period! Something I believe firmly in. But it's the walking in each others shoes for a day that sometimes cultivates (new found) respect and better understanding for eachother and specifically, how the opposite gender experiences the world.
R.I.P.
Devonne West she’s dead?
I've had car salesmen who refused to let me test drive a vehicle as a woman but he catered to my boyfriend and his brother, both whom did not need a car and both had new cars. Jeesh!
Don't buy anything from them! Never had that happen. Shop around.
Put the mirror to his face sister and be the change ! We got this.