The Credibility Gap: How Sexism Shapes Human Knowledge | Soraya Chemaly | TEDxBarcelonaWomen
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- Опубликовано: 27 июл 2015
- It's a man's world...but what does that mean? Today, when you Google "Are Women...?" the most likely suggested answer you'll get is "Evil." What does the suppression of women's experiences and knowledge in culture and media mean in terms of human understanding? How does a global suppression of women's experiences, perspectives and storytelling result in injustice and inequality? This talk dives into the question of what male-centered culture really means.
Soraya Chemaly is an award winning writer and media critic whose work focuses on the role that gender plays in culture and human rights.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
"I just said that, no explanation needed, don't interrupt me" thank you
All euphemisms for "I know." I can't tell you how many times I have thought these statements in a meeting. But I never say it because that would be impolite? Unladylike? Well I have never done it but going forward I am going to interrupt the interrupter and finish what I was saying. Even if it's not with grace.
Emily Durkee thanks!
@@SuzeQuze umm, well that's your choice I guess. It's not really a brave thing to do tbh, it literally is what everyone does if they are trying to speak. Well done, you've done absolutely nothing resembling impressive.
As I man I have to say these constantly too.
@Sierra Kuchirka Saying "don't interrupt me" implies that the person was talking, which as she said, men are talking in the workplace more than women.
The saddest aspect of this for me is how it permeates your perception of yourself. It’s taken me years to begin to undo these messages internally.
Same here /:
Trying to take up more space in the workplace, particularly in meetings, and to speak for more time has been a huge challenge for me.
T Clark well, yes it is. It’s years of being directly or indirectly told not to speak up and take space in groups with men and women. Um, did u listen to the talk? She spends quite a bit of time talking about this. Also, sexism goes both ways. Men should feel 100% comfortable in the health care sector in untraditional roles such as nursing, etc. There are tons of jobs there while male traditional jobs such a machinists are dwindling down leaving many men employed. It not fair that men feel societal pressure to not go into traditional female roles where there is work.
Ceru_lean but then also what I find difficult is to keep it simple: not to speak just for the sake of speaking. I feel sometimes like I force myself to not be myself In order to make things fair: I don’t help cleaning, I don’t offer to my family to make the coffee, I say that I want to start the bbq, ...
@@TheSagesophie So, by your own metric, it comes down to the individual. Good...now you get it. Maybe.
"Be knowers, not pleasers." Excellent.
To the people in the comments: sexism exists whether you think it does or affects you or not. The sooner you realize that, the sooner we can fix this problem together.
you are not going to fix anything with total lies , falsifying data and just plain making up statistics and studies that always just happen to agree with your narrative . cherry picking studies and surveys to fit your agenda does not make it true .
What about the statistics coming from the US Department of Justice? The CDC? The National Center for Injury Prevention and Control? Centers that conduct reputable studies for both genders? All three of those centers have concluded that sexism exists with statistical data - you know, for those who choose not to believe the victim.
the CDC ? women live 8 years longer then men , if that was reversed these feminists would screaming so loud . so what does the cdc say to counter a longer life span ?
That's beside the point. You're using a fallacy to try and strengthen your argument with no structural reasoning or basis.
get a life , stop thinking you are so deep . idiot
I'm a woman in science. I'm one of those who likes fixing things. I regularly get praise for being the girl that fixes things. I was even told once that I was "not helpless". This is from people who truly believe they're not biased, who believe in equality and even call themselves feminists. But at the same time marvel at the fact that a woman knows something "manly". It's even more jarring than when men don't trust my knowledge.
you can tell by her voice how much this means to her, as it should to everybody
I thanked my father for raising me exactly like my brothers. He didn't even understand why I would thank him for that. This is why dad
Very nice
Everyone has biases. Even with me being a woman, I’m just naturally more inclined to see sexism against women than I am to see sexism against men. I try to recognize my biased nature and realize that I have no idea what it feels like to be a man in western society or what issues that they frequently encounter. I think it’s important for men to also recognize that they have no idea what it’s like to be a woman and therefore they will always have a biased view. This is why when women or men are discussing issues that they face on a regular basis, it’s important to listen and try to understand that just because your experiences in life are different, that it still doesn’t invalidate the experiences of others. Sometimes you just need to sit and listen to people and let them tell you their own experiences and to understand that you are not the only person experiencing this life. This will help you fight natural biases that you might have. It’s also good to see that you will always have a biased view but you can lessen this just by listening to others when they are expressing clear distress.
Thank you!
Amen
Well said! This is exactly the kind of encouraging argument we really need! The video is biased in favour of the female gender - I understand the speaker wanted to portray how negative anti-feminism is, but being biased is of no help to bring about positive change in the world regarding gender inequality. Only thought-out and well-meaning discussions can help, as you've pointed out!
@@thelonewitch She's talking about how technology is designed for men, cultural experiences revolve around men, and how implicit bias gives men advantages in the workplace. She's not being biased, she's talking about something that doesn't negatively affect men's opportunities.
@@rcr257 You have it all backwards. Technology is mostly designed by men, for everybody who can purchase it. Women make up 85% of the consumerist purchases, so they also use 50% of men's money, on average. Men are 90% of the inventors, innovators and maintainers even after decades of equality. Affirmatice action hires women and minorities at men's expense, not vice versa. 3/4 homeless are men, 98% of work deaths are men etc. So men's "opportunities" aren't even existent and women live off of men's labor just like they always had.
I am a young girl and I have always spoke my mind people often get annoyed at me about this but it’s never bothered me I really relate to this video
Speak your mind more, don't let those people get you down.
Keep going, but follow the rules. Haters will trip you up.
Im a guy, and I speak my mind as well. Often about religious beliefs. What I get are threats of violence and death. Almost on a daily basis, actually.
I also speak my mind and not only society but my hole family say I'm a rebel.
@@generalerica4123
I'm a girl and same. Gender doesn't have much to do with it. The only difference is that if people know you're a dude, they'll be more outwardly violent. If they know you're a girl, they'll dismiss what you say or tell you that you don't know what you're talking about.
I have just been a mere listener to these stories, as a fortunate man, but even I can't help but be shaken and in tears over these experiences. Wish more people will watch this.
💜... it’s always encouraging to see a man see woman as full humans. Ultimately, to make this world a better place for both sexes, sexism has to go, but to get there from where we are, MEN have to talk to MEN. And even men who believe in the human equality of women can be too scared to speak in favor of equality or call out sexism as immoral to their peers. So, please be brave. Speak up amongst men. Carefully for your own safety of course, but it’s important and nothing will get better without this bravery of men teaching other men.
Thank you! please introduce other men with your perspectives. We need that. We need you all to be considerate towards us as much as y'all need us to be considerate towards your issues. We only have one big planet to call home.
So greatful men like you exist.
I'm in tears to see how people can be so naive.
wonder how many men in the comments didn't even watch the whole video just started whining in the comments about women wanting too much and taking their rights.
Ilydowa ~~~ Men? Where? LOL Male creatures commenting here are not men! They are just uneducated creatures ! Men don't talk like that!
Ilydowa I did, and I actually made an argument. Many other men did. Please keep your sexist comments to yourself.
Alpha Om3gatr1x79 if that's so, support your position. Disprove their arguments.
@@teresabaptista7016 Since you're not a man, you're not qualified to say who is or isn't a man...in fact it makes you sound pretty uneducated.
@@teresabaptista7016 "no true Scotsman"
A culture can be sexist and by criticising a system you arent particularly criticising the individuals in that system. Men shouldnt take it so personally when we arw talking about an invisible power structure that we all were born into.. Now if you benefit from an unequal system and fight to keep the status quo.. That's one you.
Very true! So many men in comments section like these take the issues personally. They are over sensitive. Which rings alarm bells for me. It also worries me that they don't seem to care about the women in their lives daughters, sisters, mothers.
Well said!!!!
Preach!
Kara Kim - True, men often feel under personal attack when women comment on what they experience as societal unfairness. The reality is that societies are often institutionally sexist so that while no one person is responsible for biased laws, attitudes and decisions, we are in effect all responsible. When women call out inequities, men's hackles may rise; however, they could try instead to listen and understand that they are the beneficiaries of an unfair system in many (not all) cases. The 'system' seems normative, natural, 'just the way things are' and, if one is a beneficiary, pretty much invisible. Only with effort and willingness to be open can people see what is actually happening.
Only someone who knows that somewhere inside them they have bigoted behavior has any reason whatsoever to take any of this personally. There literally is no other reason.
There are so many people in the comment section that try to discredit her argument with either irrelevant facts (women may or may not hover over the toilet seat), and claiming that her point is not important or relevant. Look at the comment section.... This is exactly why we need talks like this!
+ArmagonAuthor the fact is , all this garbage she spews is made up nonsense and lies . None of the statics she rattles off can be proven , "" countless studies have show men talk 70 percent of the time..... " . What studies ? silly studies done by feminists to find exactly what they want to find. Modern feminism is just an industry , to give jobs and careers to idiots like this woman . .
choff56 right, like you have the paperwork and the studies. Tedx Talks aren't just randomly given out to people. They invite people they think are worthy of inspiring the world. You think you're all cutesy down here in the comments section saying how "she didn't do her research". YOU didn't do your research. YOUR comment is made up of nonsense and lies. And quite frankly, you're rendering her and the researchers' findings as invalid because what? She a woman? The researchers believe in gender equality? Yes, they will find the information they're looking for specifically because they want TO PROVE THEIR POINT. Why? Because the world is FULL of people like you who just don't get it. There's no such thing as perfect statistics by scientific reason. You should know that. Your "fact" can't be proven either. I'm tired of it. Everything. I'm tired of having to tell you this. I though this was basic human knowledge.
Tonnes of these "studies" done are done in a way to make connections where there should be none. Example. Once a day a man and a woman stubs their toes... then they lift weights....... then they take steroids...... and the result is highly fit people. The conclusion ends up looking like this: stubbing your toe once a day increases muscle mass. You can see the error of logic in that study. Its sad but it is done quite a bit more than you would think, and when she said (bit of a paraphrase) "women that achieve higher positions have fathers that do cross gender chores" like lets be honest do you really think that doing a chore that "normally" a woman would do, would increase a DAUGHTER's (not son's) pay in their job?
ArmagonAuthor | "People disagree with my bullshit! This is EXACTLY why we need talks like this!"
Pathetic.
Agreed
No one, not even a single person on this Earth, will ever truly be free until *we all are free.*
Support *all* of your sisters and brothers of every race and every gender. Your own freedom depends on it.
Aylbdr Madison +
Finally, someone who gets it.
what is freedom? what does that even mean? Every culture obsessed with freedom seems to have a problem with slavery I've ever researched, including America. Are you always better off being in control or is it sometimes good to have someone else in control? What does history tell us about things? You should think about these things carefully.
Noone will ever be free in this world as every freedom is helpless when facing its biggest enemy, the past.
@@AnHeC When Kurt Cobain blasted his face with a shotgun, I'm pretty damn sure he experienced complete freedom.
Man or woman, why can't we just accept each other as human beings and just help and love one another. Videos like these are needed. Smart lady
I agree, I love this comment
No@taothewanderer women want equal rights as men, we're tired being discriminated for a long time.
Would you comment this on a man's ted talk?
@@florsiev.5024 we already have equal rights. There is no need for this 2nd wave feminism because everyone already got what they wanted. And don't pull out the "wage gap" card because it has been debunked many times.
@@barneyy6942 i would
That one seems to be a cultural thing. I have been to Denmark- and not only do they really have a lot of nice and clean public toilets - there are "toilets". No "ladies" and "gentlemen's toilets". Just toilets. If you have to wait,.you have to wait. Going to the toilet is a human thing, not a male or female one. Works beautifully.
Elektra - that 'cultural thing' derives from a clearer sense of social equity in Denmark. The use of public toilets/ the design of the same/ the number of the same is quite clearly a 'gender thing' in most countries. And yes, both genders have to use bathrooms but their needs differ because they are differently formed. Equity means catering equally according to need. What are your experiences in most countries?
@@thumbprint7150 How do their needs differ you mean? In Sweden there are also a lot of public toilets that don't have a special bathroom for "ladies" and for "gentlemen". It's the same thing at many schools. Both genders use the same toilet - they sit down and do the nr 1 or the nr 2. And all toilets have a special trashcan for sanitary bags (tampons and sanitary napkins). That works just fine! :)
@@thumbprint7150 equity mean men unfairly subsidizing for women's greater need.
@@bovasi women go to the bathroom more, because they have smaller and weaker bladders. thats how men and women differ in regards to using the toilet.
@@happychappy8326 I just looked that up and nope, both have a capacity of 500ml
It feels so good when someone speaks what you've been thinking for so long. It feels amazing that someone has this platform.
I still get perplexed when a man repeats something I just said minutes ago without batting an eye (and sometimes gets awknowledgement/response which I did not). I'm always surprised and start thinking is it deliberate? Is it not consciously? And then then my moment of saying "I just said that" is gone.
i have noticed in some groups that when Women speak they usually don't speak in a "convincing" manner. A lot of guys speak in a very pushy convincing tone that quickly gets their ideas and opinions to take space even if they aren't correct or the idea isn't very good. Guys talk over each other all the time and say the same thing someone else already said all the time due to this as well.
But the moment that type of conversation changes more towards the content of what is being said instead rather than how it is being said a lot of the issue disappears and everyone get their voices heard. And the fun detail is that guys are a lot about falling in line with the groups methodology so once it is done they will follow it pretty quickly without much fuss.
@@kenji214245 and if people are going to take it seriously only if the delivery is confident, the world should operate in such a way that women can attain and have confidence!
I believe most jobs are men-populated because women do not apply as much for those jobs as they do for the jobs they have been led to believe from childhood were meant for women - nursing, etc. Women themselves are taught from childhood to be gender-biased into thinking of themselves as fitting into only certain job roles. This applies at least to my workplace - I am a software developer and the company I work for finds it difficult to hire women for software development because of a simple reason - fewer number of women apply for these posts.
Congrats on your job! It's true a lot of women don't apply for traditionally male jobs. Unfortunately I've noticed that when women do have these jobs a lot end up playing this motherly role where they do the work for the men. Kind of like when you're a kid at school and you had group assignments where the girls end up doing all the work and the boys get the same grade.
@@marybell2002 Thank you! 😊
I totally get what you mean.. Even in my office I have seen a few rare occurences. Also, if a woman does do something exemplary, it's normally looked upon with suspicion in my field. "She must have buttered up the manager" are frequent whispers. Even I am guilty of feeling that way about a fellow woman employee, I must admit. We're so hard-wired to think a woman cannot perform this job as well as a man that unconscious bias always tends to creep in.
@whoahh But in women-dominated fields, when men enter the field, the field tends to become better paying. And in your example, though the expectation is on women to cook, professional cooks tend to be men. Women get to be home cooks, men get to be chefs.
whoahh what? Girl power is not offending men at all and nobody ever says men can’t cook. Some of the greatest chefs are men.....
" *fewer* number of women apply to these posts"
Not "less"
It has taken my doctors 5 years to diagnose some of my conditions not because they weren’t measurable but because it’s taken that long for them to do any tests. The tests all came back positive and even then they have found ways of not treating me. Two years ago I had three days of psych testing even when I already had at least two diagnosis’s. When I didn’t present with psychological problems they said they would have me back for treatment in 3 weeks and I couldn’t get in contact with my doctor for 14 months. I have been sick for 10 years and from day one when I presented with nausea and headaches and dizziness and overwhelming fatigue I was told it was in my head or I was being attention seeking. That’s only really been sort retracted 10 years later. One of my main conditions that I have been diagnosed with recently I asked to be tested for 5 years ago and I was told ‘well I tested someone for that once and it came back negative so there is no point.’ I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was 4. My mother had an aunt with type 1 her whole life so she knew the signs and a week before I was diagnosed she brought me to the GP and said that she thought I had diabetes. My dad had died two years earlier and so the doctor (male) said to her ‘you must have gotten a lot of attention when your husband was ill. I suggest you go home and look up munchousens’ (sorry can’t spell it) he didn’t even test my blood sugar. A week later I became really ill and we happened to have a friend with the equipment to test my blood sugar and I was rushed into hospital. Anyway I nearly died and the doctor who was treating me told my mum off for not bringing to see a doctor sooner. There was a story of a guy with the same condition that it has taken them 10 years to sort of diagnose me with (but not treat) and he had all the test down immediately. Well done if you’ve read this far.
Endometriosis takes on average 9 years to diagnose. Just the other day I read a quote from this article and my jaw dropped. Pretty sure it was a woman who said this. 😳
“At the beginning, they said that it was just hysterical women, but it doesn’t seem that way, because we’re seeing this with men as well.”
I do get the credibility deficit. That one is true, even from a young age. Part of why I'm loud is because I want to be heard, and unless I shout over boys they won't let me speak. Or when they're completely clueless of course they are nicer because you're useful. These days I don't particularly care because they can crash and burn all they want. As long as my grades are up I don't give a damn about people who don't care enough to hear me speak for ten seconds.
Just make sure you learn how to cook (and clean).
You could be invaluable.
@@lockandloadlikehell- Ask yourself why you would feel the need to make a cheap attack anonymously on the internet on a young person full of life and energy and ambition? What does this say about YOU?
@@thumbprint7150
How about you ask *YOSELF* ??
Hmmmm
How you like them apples?
That's right. That's right.
Gallop Free out into the world and seize it!
Gallup, in your last statement, I'm sure you don't care unless forces you cannot control are working against you simply because you're female. Now, good on you for being strong and knowing and standing up for who you are and what do you think
I have literally cried at the end. Beautiful talk. I remember myself when I was a child. I was loud and cheerful but people were quietening me all the time. Now I’m shy and fear of saying things or jokes that may easily be said by a man just because I fear I won’t meet the society’s expectations. But it’s slowly changing. Because of people like you. Thank you ❤️
I googled "Venerable Women," and under related searches, this speaker's name came up.
vulnerable women
Finn Krone *vulnerable men
I have to admit, I never thought of bathrooms to be sexist, just extremely inefficient which is why I am in favor of gender neutral bathrooms. Opens space for more stalls and optimizes use of each stall.
Me too. Who has business with what ones genitals look like behind the closed stall? Exactly. NOBODY. So why segregate?
I hate it when my female partner and I arrive at the restrooms to find a long line at the ladies room and none at the men's room. Why? I can only guess that architects just don't consider women in their plans. And this has been the case forever! And that- is sexism!
Also!! Why is the stall gap so big?
Bathrooms are only sexist if you are pro-equality or pro-equity. There is a BIG difference. Which is better, is debatable
C Y D I disagree I would like to see general neutral baby changing rooms rather than bathrooms
from where i’m from, women CEOs are forced to step down when the company makes a mistake while men just issue a letter of apology. things need to be changed. thank you for voicing this
That's so anectdotal and unverifiable that I actually can't figure out if this is poe's law in effect.
@@skyler114 i agree with what they said because when a woman makes a mistake she's incompetent, but when a man makes a mistake he just made a mistake and its ok
@@tbh7244 when men make a mistake they are thrown in jail, when women make a mistake people are told to empathize with her.
@@skyler114 which kind of "mistake" do you mean where men go to jail and people are told to empathize with women?
@@skyler114 Can you give an example?
The true power we have as women, mothers and grandmothers is to actually show these things in a real living "action" in life, at home with family and at work. This teaches kids (children, teens and young adults) of how to respond to oppression and sexism in real living ways.
You seem to be suggesting that the other point of views don't abide to 'real living ways'. Its impossible to understand the value in another point of view, if you don't endulge into it fully. I think you're in your right to teach your children about 'how real living action' is in life, and I would promote it. But ALWAYS, no exceptions, expose your children equally to the opposite point of views. Not doing so robs them of their chance to formulate their own thoughts and have well thought out arguments on the matter. In my opinion, both men and women in the western world are stereotypically shallow and opinionated. They don't indulge in each other's point of view. Combined with culture that forms the impressions of masculinity and femininity, you'll have the ignorance we see in many movements today. Anything you like to add? I'm curious.
I shocked my grandmother as a child by whistling masterfully. I never thought anything of it, having 3 brothers and a mother who never told me that ladies don't whistle, or are no good at math, or don't study science, or don't become astrophysicists.
Science is awesome.
Lol I can’t whistle for my LIFE but I didn’t know it was a gendered thing, although now that I think about it I can def see that. Women in STEM, WOOT!
When I performed the google search "are women..." my top result was related to reproduction and the other four were all in relation to men and men's spaces. Three of the options provided were all about permission! whether or not women are allowed somewhere: 1. are women born with eggs 2. are women allowed in combat 3. are women colder than men 4. are women allowed in the NFL 5. are women allowed in the tour de France. OMG. Soraya, thank you for this Ted Talk and thank you for your book, which I am devouring after waiting for it for weeks at the library.
true. my top results were: 1. Are women allowed in mosques 2. Are women paid less 3. are women required to register for the draft 4. are women allowed on submarines
I fail to see anything at all sexist with the autocompletion you got. Its the algorithm, not inherently sexism.
Also, the question 'are women born with eggs' is, biologically speaking, a fascinating question. But of course, something about women, so it must be sexist.
And what did you get when you typed "are men "? I got:
Are men better at chess?
Are men capable of love?
Are men carriers of hpv?
Are men emotional?
Are men colorblind?
OMG.
@@JohnSmith-oe5kx of course some of these are sexist but have you noticed how many questions included "are women ALLOWED" that just means that people still think women can't do some things because of their gender
@@nxlx3301 I agree that there is lots of sexism out there. I just do not think that Google search suggestions are the best indicator.
This is one of the most refreshing, re-affirming, accurate TEDx Talks I've ever seen. Thank you.
I googled 'are women' and one of the first things that came up was 'are women allowed on submarines?' What??? To the apparently many people who google that, please explain.
I searched it, and apparently women weren't allowed on U.S. Navy submarines until 2010.
@@alisonselje2809 w-wow.
Alison, that is so funny! In a way. You know that if women are allowed on submarines that male sailors might start to have periods and that mermaids will get jealous and encircle the vessel and curse it with deep-ocean spells, right?
@Saint Scanderbeg- Submarines leak?
You googled it and were curious. Why didn't you read what came up for the question?
Women used to (not long ago) not be allowed on submarines. Not allowed in combat positions. Not allowed to go to West Point.
I have been increasingly saddened in adulthood to witness the gap in familial expectations between my brother and I (and can't help but notice that updates from friends' parents are always about their boys' careers, whether or not their girls are married). The most dismaying part is that neither my brother nor I are being viewed realistically, nor are either of us having our needs met, a perfect setup for resentments and a lopsided, dependent future relationship between us. The most emotionally painful aspect for me is the way my father speaks to me, so different than he is with my brother! With my brother, it's almost as if HE were the one seeking approval- he appreciates his insights, "gets" his humor, actually considers any points he might not have seen for himself before; ..with me, it is different. I am always "wrong" somehow, always needing to be calmed ("don't worry about it," when I am not worried at all); without fail, there is some "lesson" to be learned- I can't just be relating an event which happened(?)- and apparently I need that lesson to be spelled out for me. My humor isn't recognized, my opinions are invalidated automatically, no consideration needed, because they came from me and I will always somehow be wrong. ~ I've been in situations before involving people who've treated me this way, but those are typically bullying situations in which the person isn't comfortable with themselves. For a parent who says he loves you to be disinterested in knowing you because of his own issues, it's something far more hurtful. Families are bad about putting kids into roles without realizing it, grafting identities and associations onto them (sometimes even before birth!) which have little or nothing to do with the person's behavior or personality; then, a mental snapshot of the kid is taken at some random age, and in a parent's mind, the kid will always be that age. This is my only theory as to what could justify some of the treatment I receive at this point, as I am middle-aged. And I would like very much just to have a normal conversation with my dad at some point, to connect as adults, rather than to be TOLD something about how I SHOULD be, what I SHOULD do, and come away feeling more lonely for it. ~ I called him recently, when I was depressed. Annoyed, he asked, "Do you want SYMPATHY, or do you want ADVICE?" I said, "Neither. I just wanted you to Listen."
Erin, I think you’re just young and trying to sort the out of the best syndrome
I’m not trying to be inflammatory but it may well be your dad and brother just connect better than you and your dad
Otherwise you wouldn’t have these observations of the separation
@@FJaypewpew I'm not sure how young "young" is- I'm close to 40 years old. Maybe my dad and brother would be naturally closer in a different family; however, you know nothing about our family's history together; the personalities involved; or the deeper, more private reasons which underlie some of these dynamics. (Or was your patronizing "mansplaining" meant as an ironic joke? It was, wasn't it? If so: Bravo!)
Erin Thesystem O My Goodness!😱 ur dad n my dad r exactly the same. The exact same thing happens at my place. N here I thot something was wrong with me all my life! Thank u so much. U helped me gain a little confidence . N I'm Asian n u r white. Yet its the same. Cultures dont make a difference. Men r wired the same across cultures I guess. My dad says the same thing when it comes to sympathy n advice. Its the same phrase.
@@melissafeds1344 Wow! I'm glad you feel less alone, but sorry to connect over a sucky situation. I think people are bad about trying to "fix" one another in general, really- it seems awkward, you know, just to listen sometimes. Even a friend or a therapist will give advice, but that can be invalidating when it's not what you need. Painful emotions, I think there's an idea these need to be changed, but just having somebody there can mean the most; trying to fix them implies you're wrong to have them or feel a certain way, when it's simply how you feel. ~ One thing with my parents is that half the time, I don't think they have even HEARD my WORDS, yet will offer "advice." It's never age-appropriate, either: like being told how to cook rice when you're about thirty- that one was a low point. (The brother I mentioned is younger than me, too!) They both came from kind of messed-up families, but it can still be very sad sometimes, thinking we're getting closer, then realizing maybe we weren't. I try to love family where they're at, but the hard part is seeing where we COULD be, I think, if the interest were fully there. What people- all of us- ARE capable of but DON'T do, that's the sad part.
Your father is only able to speak in simple terms. You are complicated. Too complicated for him to talk with. He doesn't have time for you because you make things more complicated for him. Sounds harsh but that's what it sounds like
Soraya you are spot on. Unfortunately your message is too deep, most are not capable of seeing it, or being receptive to it. The first pan of the audience showed a girl distracted by her phone. If you can't get women to believe or care then.... well buckle in for another several hundred years of second class status. Btw, most people find this message to be too extreme and this problem to have been solved in the 70's. I admire your advanced perspective and knowledge of these realities.
Please don't assume that girl was not engaged. Sure maybe she wasn't, but the number of times I've either been taking notes or messaging someone saying "omg this is such a great talk and they said ...." , or am so deeply engaged that I can't hide my emotions or need to block out excess stimuli to focus on the words.
Wait, you agree with her message about women being unfairly perceived as less credible yet you think the woman in the audience on her phone isn't capable of digesting her message, or the topic is too deep for her? 🤔 As the other commenter said, she may indeed have been not paying attention or she might have been opening the notes app or listening fully while doing something on her phone.
19:30 mmm you know what is funny? I was about to say that I had more teachers men than women, but then I stoped to think about it, and I found another difference: in Romania, all my teachers were women, excepto the religion one, who was a priest, and when i went to live in Spain (5th grade) all my teachers were still women except the PE. When you are in 7 grade, you change school, you then begin Compulsory secondary education (10 or 11 years old) and all my teachers were women excepto PE, religion (another priest; it was a catholic school) and Spanish. At 15 I began to have more male teachers (ethics, maths, PE and religion) and then, at 16-17 (11th and 12th grade, the optional education) all my teachers were male, except Latin and Finance.
My sister is studying to be a prep-teacher and 70% of her year are women...
Edit: my sister just finished her degree and, from eighty something students that graduated, only 2 were men.
Andreea, it is funny as you said. Has your sister looked into her gender chance at getting professorships and jobs in Higher Learning? Perhaps she has a specific age range in mind, but if she ever wants a full professorship in the future, she might want to at least be aware of the ratios. Not that that should stop her, just inform her so that she can design how she reaches success
I’ve had the same experience. All of my lower education teachers were women and only my higher education contained male teachers.
@@SayHelloHelli At high school my chemistry teacher was a woman. My physics teacher was a woman. I had both man and women teachers at technology, math, biology, history, FE...
At college i had as many teachers that were women as men. In fact I had more women teachers. My animal biology teacher was a woman. My cellular biology teacher was a woman, my genetics teacher was a woman, my microbiology teachers both of them where women, my parasitology teacher was a woman, my botanics teachers where also women. My molecular biology teacher was a woman, my virology teacher was a woman... the coordinator of the degree was a woman.
What was your point exaclty?
I MP that I got a ripped off lol
@@Ignasimp I think the point in the video is about teachers in lower education, not in university and so on (I had almost a 50%-50%). Like, when the teachers are there to, well, teach their subjects, but also kind of parenting (8 hours a day is a long time to only teach children to read and sum), women tend to fill those positions. And if you go lower, with 3-6 years old kids, you will find that the majority of teachers are women, always seen as more nurturing and caring and that stuff.
PS: Sorry if I don't make much sense, is 5 in the morning and English is far from my everyday lenguage. Have a good day.
I really know what she meant when she said "women are taught to be pleasers." I tried a dating app for the first time and over 40 different messages from men who have seen my profile either only comment on my appearance, ask for explicit photos, never ask me any questions, try and convince me why I'd like their children, or talk to me for a few lines before suggesting I come to them or call them now.
It doesn't matter that my profile is FILLED with information. That it says I want to move slowly, don't want children, and prefer online conversation to a meetup, and has lists of my interests and the type of partner I'm looking for.
Back to back to back, men talk to me like I am there as a service to them. And if I disagree they try and get me to bend to what they want.
Man I wish I was courageous enough to say "I just said that" during design class!
Jade Damboise Rail You‘ll get there. I‘m working on „Don‘t interrupt me.“
@@blueberrymuffin113 Thanks for the support. :)
I got "are women human". Yikes.
I got "are women born with eggs" lol
I love how illogical the "are women human" question is. All of us were born from our mothers (who are women), so if women are not human, then no one is. Not sure how anyone can think this way, think themselves different than the very human that gave birth to them.
I got "are a women a minority" and the next 3 were "are women allowed to ____" questions. Not making any sort of point here, just sharing.
The problem with this talk is: google changes its algoritm depending on your searchhistory.
That’s the internet and cookies
Thank you so much 😌
The point about dads doing cross gender roles is so true, my father actually stayed at home for a while while my mom worked and it honestly gave me confidence because I was able to see the a woman could be powerful and that a man could be gentle and that I could trust him.
Now I'm enrolled in a STEM academy.
I wish I could say the same about my dad. My mother and I do all the chores and he doesn't allow me permission to date while my brother can and not because of my age but to 'save my body for a man'. Doesn't matter though, my parents are getting divorced.
Also, good for you, congratulations.
Went to check on the word "chores" - a routine task, especially a household one.
Engoy the example from the dictionary:
"Girls as young as four and five are expected to help with household chores and to care for their younger siblings" !!!
@@happychappy8326 Chores should be done equally. I am a female engineer, and when I go home, I do a ot of cooking, BUT my cousin who is the same kind of engineer as me BUT male, does absolutedly no chores. Is that fair? He cannot even boil water, or wash his own clothes!
its sad, as women, we need to teach our sons differently
Right Aruna, men expect to come home and not work. Women could expect the same but are told no you don't do X instead. So women in society must still continue to do house chores and give men their free time. In our house we expect our men to continue to work when they come home from a job just like the women though through all these years my sister's husband still doesn't get it and complains he can't just lay about when he comes home from work he complains its unfair.
Hita I literally don’t believe you
It’s genuinely impossible to be incapable of boiling water unless you are disabled
These comments are ducking weird how are all the comments for girls still banging about but all the others are straight up against girls in almost a comical fashion
Really
It’s like they’re being monitored
@@destroyraiden
I hate the fact that this is a thing. Gender shouldn't have anything to do with chores..
"Be knowers not pleasers". Exactly
i'm sick of not being taken seriously. even worse if you're short, people treat you like a child. even children should be taken more seriously sometimes. haha 'i just said that' is a big one for me. i hate when someone repeats the point you just made back to you, as if they just came up with it themselves. that is like my pet peeve.
Not diminishing your experience
But
On revision maybe they did just say that
And you weren’t listening
@@FJaypewpew I think the original commenter meant they had to use "I just said that" frequently because what they said was repeated back to them in a slightly different manner like it was a new idea. People don't listen to her as well as they should and you didn't even read her comment correctly.
Great work, Soraya. As always, the negative remarks rampant in the comments under videos such as these highlight the importance of your work.
+Alyse Johnston Using RUclips comments to dictate importance? You're clearly autistic.
***** I meant the autistic who have deformed bodies and violent tendencies.
Wouldn't it, to a sane person, be the opposite? Wouldn't criticism show that maybe something is wrong?
@@jdawgbiggums7683
Having deformed body's is not a symptom of autism.
Voilance trough autistic children is commonly associated with unsuitable environments and treatment.
@@jesseward568 reread your comment slloooowwlly.
An enormous amout of racists criticize people of color all the time, they must be right too?
Love this! Love her! We need more women like her!
When I was working for the education program of a science museum we were told that girls take longer to raise their hands and answer therefore we should wait a few seconds so we don’t get just boys answering all the questions, when we were working with groups of children.
That was one of the museum’s ways to improve gender equality. It was a topic we discussed for about an hour. Then a young woman who had just started working there finally snapped and told everyone how when she was looking for a new job every potential employer asked her if she can balance work and taking care of her baby at the same time, including when she applied for the job at the museum. Meanwhile her husband was also looking for a job and no one ever asked him that question.
Fathers tend to work longer than non-fathers. Mothers tend to work less than non-mothers. Fathers are more likely to focus on his career to materially provide for family. Mothers are less likely to focus on career with a family. Fathers are much less likely to leave their job since they're the material provider. Mothers are more likely to leave their job because of family. Their behaviors are generally asymmetric. Surprised people noticed significant behavior patterns that impact business?
Endoptic and do you think that there is something perhaps wrong with that assumption?
When I was in primary school I remember I used to get so upset when the teachers told me to sit down, when I was carrying things for them, and let a strong boy do it. When I was 9! What kind of a message does that send to children. And it was a constant thing.
I remember I desperately wanted to play soccer at breaks and I was told I wasn't allowed to and threatened with detention. Only boys were allowed. I wasn't even given a reason, I think they said i would get hurt. And let me tell you, I wasn't some fragile skinny kid in primary school either, I would of definitely survived.
This really messed me up for a while, I was angry and bitter about being a girl and I even resented boys for a while. It installed a kind of desire in me to want to prove myself just as strong as boys and I still like to today. Beating a boy at arm wrestling is such a good feeling because I want to show I'm not weak and fragile and i don't need anyone to look out for me but me. And the fact that I feel the need to prove that, that's the problem with society
This is great but the closed captions are wrong in one place where she is talking about how sexism, racism, and misogyny aren’t little problems. It says that they are little problems. This should be changed.
My favorite thing right now is how there are more positive comments on the top and we’ve like buried the bad ones. We did good
The problem is that the bad dudes have commented bad comments on the good ones.
@@ihatethisusernameupdate True
@@ihatethisusernameupdate Like, is respect such a difficult thing?
@taothewanderer I respect everyone equally and want the same in return.
@taothewanderer And do enlighten me on the truth.
I hope the people commenting on this and videos like it discrediting the women and their arguments based on no facts whatsoever know they are the exact reason these talks exist - they're talking about you
Sorry: you're a victim of nature; not men or society.
it is a fact that 80% of suicides are male,80% of work place deaths are male 90% of combat deaths are male, boys under preform in school, are told to stop crying and man up to bottle their feelings, women in their twenty's are often payed more than men. Men are under represented in caring fields like nursing, vet work, etc. 40% of abuse cases are male yet almost all shelters won't accept them,
@@a.e.richardson218
That's something sexism causes, if you want to reduce that statistic you need to act differently.
Reducing the availability of fire arms could reduce the success of (White) male suicide (by Australian example) and helped without being more fair tho.
@@a.e.richardson218 Great reasons to fight against sexism! ^^
@Jerry Donohue maybe because everytime a woman brings up sexism against women (just like this video), people like you bring up the mens and then try and invalidate what the woman has experienced because "well men experience it too", just like how you stated it at the beginning of your comment.
A note about style: I like to trot out, "I don't have clothes for my body; I have a body for my clothes". Silly as it is, this ethos has definitely helped pull me out of a malignant eating disorder in the odyssey for /beauty/, but I do feel guilty and frivolous. Rather than modifying my body, I have built personal identity through consumption (especially of shoes). The problem then becomes not having consumed enough and being vulnerable to the whims and the pressures of ads, magazines, instagram commenters, and then being driven to consume more to the detriment of closet space, laborers, and my own paycheck. Trying to be pretty is eternally exhausting.
This is the most important 20 minutes of information I will hear all year. Unfortunately I only saw two men in the audience, one was listening, the other was on his phone/tablet. Show this to the men in your life. They need to hear this.
More speakers like her please
Yeah all my life I've literally been told to be quiet, especially at home. So now I barely speak and am having to work really hard to get over that.
a great speech about time. been thinking like this for years.need these types of speeches to go global and in schools. great speech
I got "are women's standards too high" :/
what standards are place don women these days? I literally can;t tall the difference between the prostitutes and a mum walking down the street to meet her son.
@@happychappy8326 Yeah, and I can't tell the difference between a chicken and a duck.
@@happychappy8326
Were you dropped on your head as a baby?
THANK YOU. Someone needed to say this.
Amazing talk.
She’s very good at getting her point across. I really liked this presentation. I find everything she says very relatable as a professional woman.
@ Zayla Yes the mental gymnastics she used, being able to manipulate so many people by subtly saying "if you don't agree with me, it's because you're a misogynist". Removing any other potential reason for disagreement by putting herself in a victim situation. 21 minutes building a logical argument which started with false premise, and acting like a controlling misandrist. I applaud
Here Kitty I just saw your comment and I don’t agree with you at all. You didn’t listen to her points. What she stated are facts and women are just used to it and she’s pointing that out. Don’t get used to this type of treatment and implicit bias is real.
@@zayla1382 realsexism(dot)com
Here Kitty I almost want to laugh that you sent me a website that just lists random facts and no references 🤷🏻♀️almost bothered not to reply because this is truly lowering my iq
Well said! It's amazing that there is still a problem...so unaware. Very sad. Thank you for this amazing and much needed talk. Awareness...
Funny thing. Here I am, to watch a video about sexism, and RUclips shows me an ad about "how to win his heart" and "a question you must never ask a man if you want to win his heart" 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
You know there are the exact opposite videos too right? With the same topic but directed towards men. You just don't see them because it's based on what you consume. So they know you are a woman.
@@Ignasimp that was exactly my point, in case you didn't notice. Me watching a video talking about sexism and harassment and RUclips propagating the culture that causes this.
Bianca Durante Men get these ads to but directed at what not to do to win women’s heart!
The True-True. This a great Crime against humanity. Women take the bullet for it, but it’s a crime against us all.
When she was referring to the powerpoint slide, the camera is still on her, but I would like to se what she was pointing towards. Dont do this miss again in upcoming videos please
Hi I see your point of view, but if you really think about it, she is not the person holding the camera that is being pointed at her. She is standing and pointing at the PowerPoint slides because she is hoping the camera crew points the camera at her power slides. Thanks for speaking up and saying what you think.
Yeah I think this was really irresponsible videography. It was almost in effect a form of silencing parts of this woman's message - why wouldn't the cameraperson/video editor hover on the infographics and images she chose to present? Those were supposed to be part of her presentation but they've basically been skipped.
@@sunshinelynee5488 yes, it was sexist!
This is one of the most powerful and best Ted talk I've ever seen. It should have way more views and recognition. Amazing. ❤️
it should be shat on. this woman is delusional and dangerous.
You(the reply) are a terrible person who denies logic to avoid guilt and keep women down, you should be not be allowed to reproduce
When people tell me that the sexism I have experienced is not real, I ask them to share their secrets of astral projecting into my life experiences and living through the same things I have. They tend to shut up, and if they don't, I narrow my eyes, say nothing, stare at them an uncomfortable amount of time, raise an eyebrow and walk away.
A very important discussion and covers a lot of ground here. I truly appreciate these viewpoints and her thought leadership on these themes.
this is GOLDEN! I can't believe I just found it NOW - thank you so much!!!
From birth I was taught what it ment to be a female in this world. My parents were extremely traditional. My mother waited on my dad. He was the breadwinner.
About the education system being sexist by default, there is one situation i think many of us have experienced : The teachers ask for "strong ones" or "strong boys" to lift a pile of books or whatever. One time when i was like 7 or 8, i was extremely indigned by the teacher asking for boys only so i took the heckin' books by myself without asking and he made me give it to a boy. I can remember the overwhelming feeling of unfairness.
This lady is awesome. Thank you. Wow, I learned so much.
"Wow, I learned so much."
...like what?
You're entitled to ignore or reject the facts and wisdom in this video. However, your aggressive attempts to challenge those who aren't terrified of the idea of women having knowledge are just the time-wasting tactics of a closed-minded, fearful man-child.
People like you, who could benefit most by learning what this lady knows, cling to the bias you were conditioned with in childhood. You're not a thinker, you're a blind follower. If you refuse to be educated, at least have the decency to enjoy your ignorant privilege without attacking those who work to improve the human condition for *all* humans, not just males.
Ivy Shoots This video presents neither "facts" or "wisdom". It's personal opinion, which is largely backed up with anecdotal and/or cherry picked evidence & completely *false* claims.
As for me being "aggressive", do you know what irony is? What about hypocrisy? My comment stated, "like what?".
In *no way* is that "aggressive", nor does it state or imply that I'm "terrified of the idea of women having knowledge". No rational person would interpret it that way. Unfortunately, we're dealing with 3rd wave feminism here; it's completely antithetical to rational thought.
Furthermore, whose time am I wasting? You replied to me, sweetheart. Or did "The Patriarchy" oppress you until you did it?
"People like you"
Considering that my comment (aside from quoting the OP) was *two words*, what do you know about what kind of person I am or what I believe? You just saw that I held a view that was opposed to yours and filled in the blanks with your own "closed-minded" "time-wasting tactics"
"who could benefit most by learning what this lady knows"
What does this lady "know"? Her lecture essentially boils down to bathroom lines for women are sexist and it's unfair to have the same sized bathrooms for men & women. Quite the intellectual, this woman. And what does she use to support this? Her own personal experience, a cherry picked Google search and completely false talking points.
"cling to the bias you were conditioned with in childhood"
Again, what do you know about me? And are you seriously trying to accuse someone of "clinging to their bias" after that bullshit you spewed onto this thread?
"You're not a thinker, you're a blind follower."
This is what makes me think you're trolling. If so, you got me. Given the context, calling me a "blind follower" is hilarious. Anyway, everything that I typed for the above statement? Apply it here as well.
Regarding my "refusing to be educated", there's no "education" to be gained from this video. It's complete garbage.
"at least have the decency to enjoy your ignorant privilege without attacking those who work to improve the human condition for all humans, not just males."
Translation: If you don't like it, don't comment!
I'll say to you what I say to every moron that tries to argue that point:
this is an open forum and no idea is exempt from criticism. If you're the type to just believe something without applying the slightest bit of critical thinking first, good for you. I'm not. Additionally, what "privileges" do I have? I swear, it's like you idiots have a checklist of talking points to just throw out at random.
Moreover, feminism is *not* "working to improve the human condition for all humans".
1. What does that even mean? That statement lets me know that you have *no clue* what you're talking about. You can't "improve" the human condition. It's life, experience, etc.; it is what it is, whether it's good or bad.
2. *Feminism* is about *women*, not "all humans". That would be *egalitarianism*, dumbass.
3. How do hashtags and slut walks "work to improve" anything for women? The only thing modern feminism has done is work to shut down sociopolitical debate and create words like "mansplaining".
Modern feminism (at least here in the West) is a ridiculous movement that seems to be filled with gullible prima donnas and other special snowflakes that lack critical thinking skills. If modern feminism cared about women so much, they would go where they're genuinely needed (such as places in the 3rd world where women are *actually* oppressed) instead of crying about "manspreading" and stretching the definition of rape to the point of trivializing it.
TheHibbitydibbity
*"Considering that my comment (aside from quoting the OP) was two words, what do you know about what kind of person I am or what I believe?"*
Thank you for providing an additional 101 lines of angry squawking to prove that I did indeed peg you as exactly the kind of person you are. You're not so inscrutable, chum.
You're just a typical MRA crank, pretending it's scientific and rational to reject all evidence which doesn't fit your belief system. Creationist tactics.
Ivy Shoots Quick note: I've worded this as simply as I can. Unfortunately, I'd have to put it in coloring book format to dumb it down any further for you. Just get an adult to help you with the big words, Sweety.
1. I'm not an MRA. Again, you're taking point A & point B and assuming you know where point K is. Considering the conversation up to this point and your position on this matter, I shouldn't have expected anything more.
2. So, out of all of that, you address *one fucking sentence* and side-step the rest? Sounds about right, to be honest. Typical feminist tactics.
While we're on that subject, it's laughable that you'd call my comment "creationist tactics" when you're the one living in a fantasy world and ignoring every fact or piece of evidence that doesn't support your ridiculous cult's narrative.
Want some free advice, princess?
Opinions and facts are *not the same thing*, nor are they interchangeable.
Facts don't care about your feelings.
They also don't cease to be true simply because you choose not to believe them.
Just letting you know so you don't embarrass yourself again with more nonsense.
My friend was trying to deny that male privilege exists by pointing out that the women's bathroom at our job was larger, had more stalls and sinks, and had decorations up. I couldn't think of how to explain to him that women spend more time in the bathroom for things like periods and caring for children, that the larger bathroom is needed to meet basic needs of women, and that the decorations were probably put there by a woman that uses the bathroom (a man could just as easily decorate his own bathroom space, duh.) Where I live, I personally believe things are pretty fair between men and women, so I'm not complaining about that. I'm just saying that the fact that **SOMETIMES women's bathrooms are nicer is literally not female-privilege. I guess that's the kind of thing that someone with male privilege isn't able to see from their view point. I do think that men's bathrooms are lacking in changing tables and spaces to care for children - there are just as many single dad's that need a private space for that.
i usually go with the war draft...
@@idontwant2bpoor I know the war draft (USA) is unfair to men. However, I'm not sure how to get around the problem that someone needs to stay behind and care for the children and elderly. How do you pick, when the generic traits looked at are physical strength or nurturing? That aside, many women are in the army and choose to do that, even though they aren't drafted. It's not like women refuse to fight as a whole. The war draft is pretty outdated, personally. Forgive my ignorance, but when was the last time they drafted?
@@raisinmydog I don't really think that the draft is unfair. I mean from a biological point of view women are more valuable than men. Men are expendable in that way. But the requirement that all men in the US are required to sign up is a bit of a debuff for the concept of male privilege.
It isn't that I think male privilege doesn't exist, it's just that I enjoy playing devils advocate.
I googled ¨äre women¨ and got ¨born with eggs¨, ¨colder than men¨, ¨paid less¨ :))
you need humor to survive.
This woman is eloquent and conveys her point in a very crisp manner
you know... i never actually thought about the difference in toilet sizes and how they might make a difference.
The few times I've had to wait in a queue for the loo i was in a densely packed area and felt incredibly envious of men that they could be so quick and i had to wait ages JUST to pee.
To anyone who say we can pee standing up, its probably about as easy as it is for men to pee sitting down (actually... i'd imagine it'd still be easier then because you can at least hold and aim still whereas we dont have anything to really hold onto).
It would be most ideal really if the women's toilets were bigger and maybe had a small seating area so women could touch up their makeup so they dont take up room at the sink thus the queues can move faster. I've been in one or two cinemas where they did this and practically no queue.
The sad fact about this though is that it would cost more money and there might not be enough room for it in the building. also not every public place may need it. I would argue great halls where conventions and events are held would need it as well as stadiums. Last time i went to a football match, I remember feeling incredibly jealous that the boys just went in and out.
Also not so surprised to see comments refuting the talk... it happens every time the topic of sexism is brought up in any way. I won't deny that some parts like the statistics of the ebola stuff not sure why that is relevent but its not a terrible talk.
You mean like how any talk criticizing feminism or pointing and men being oppressed by woman is refuted immediatly every time?
I am not a girl so I'm not in a position to say what should be done in the bathrooms. But I feel like people keep talking about stuff that doesn't matter a whole lot much (especially when compared to the horrible sexism taking place all the time in other countries).
aCupofJoe but bathrooms are relevant when it comes to offspring since they don’t care or understand lines to get to bathroom to feed them due to the sexism of trying to feed your children in public
QueenEon I wouldn't say it's sexist but rather a bit of a hassle to feed children in public. I'd rather not see a lady breastfeeding in public.
@@acupofjoe602- Why is that?
I don't go along with all her points. But, I think she talks about a lot of intertwined issues. They are ingrained in our culture and people don't realize it.
Ajith Viswanath what points do you not agree with here??
Excellent speech
these comments are scary
Thats because the hateful pos in the video is Scary.
So criticism is scary? Honestly there are always going to be trolls that take extreme slurs off the shelves but seriously, people are just tired of hearing all of these narratives that make so many assumptions about other people and the world that cannot be proven in of itself. It is frustrating to hear that I am never doing enough as a man to provide reparations to women. Let me live my damn life and stop giving women excuses to give up the first time some fucking selfish idiot of a man decides to talk over them.
'... It is frustrating to hear that I am never doing enough as a man to provide...' Recommendation. There is a book called "Black Like Me" John Howard Griffin. There is a part in the book were he is hitchhiking late at night and is picked up by a white man. On this occasion the white guy (unlike all the other white guys who have picked him up) is not asking any intrusive personal details about Griffin or making assumptions about him but is happily talking about his newborn son. They stop off to get something to eat and when Griffin hesitates the guy says "Don't worry, I will grab the food". This is to save Griffin the humiliation and hostility of being a black man in a white cafe. What is that passage about? it is about the white guy having awareness of what is going on around him and his ability to use this information to ensure that Griffin is not put into a compromising position.
It was a really good passage and I learnt a lot from it. You may be able to jump concepts over from it.
@Uncle Snorker Bahahahahahaahahahahah ROFL X-D I am a white female from Australia. bhahahaahahahaha.
I was talking to Bryce and I wasn't talking about racism. I was talking about awareness. :-D
OK, lets see if I can give a better example about what I am saying (even though I do feel that the one above is a good example).
Just say you have a white father, with two sons. This father was a surfer as a teenager and in fact was a pretty good surfer and a popular kid in high school. He wants to impart this skill onto his sons. Unfortunately the sons are being bullied at school by the local clique, the 'popular' people who themselves are in the surfer community. His kids are not in the popular clique but are outside, even despised by the popular people.
He takes his son's for a surfing lesson. So where is he going to take them? Taking them to a beach that is frequented by the popular kids who are going to see this father teaching the geeky sons how to surf and watch with amusement as the geeky kids try and are making mistakes I feel would be not a smart move on the father's part. Taking the sons to a more secluded beach were there are not many people to witness the sons attempting to learn to surf is probably a better option. It is about awareness of what is happening. Implementing action to ensure positive outcomes. The father saying, 'yes, I can see my son's are getting a hard time from bullies who are in a community of people of which I am trying to teach a skill of'. Teaching my kids to surf in front of bullies who will see their every failure is only going to give ammunition to the bullies to further harass my kids. A smart person is going to empower another, not put them in a position where they are subjected to ridicule and scorn.
What has this to do with Bryce's comment and the talk. The talk isn't about making men feel bad. It is about women telling their stories. It is these stories that alert others to what is happening. Making others aware of what is happening and going on. It is pretty hard to imagine what someone is experiencing without them saying something.
Bwaaa hahaha Bwaaa haha, What a load of tripe. just go back to my response to your first one. And replace the pronoun black with female. you are still doing that 'Im a victim and you need to help me waaaaaaaaaaa" give me a free ride, give me food, don't question me waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
You snowflakes would be much better off if you didn't go against science so much(While thinking you are for science is why it's so horribly pathetic) Look you ever heard of natural selection, You know the concluded science of how we humans survived and got to where we are. It's not only has nothing to do with multi-culturalism(Which I'm sure you are all for no matter who has to drink the poison) but we humans are not who we are because we pick up whiners and carry them to there safe space and then listen to them shout and point fingers at men for daring to carry a woman who isn't even sure what one of 1000 genders she even wants to be yet.
The simple truth that survives on and on is that best countries will help the needy(Mostly Western Countries) but if you get too many needy bitches on your back, then you will fall and you will come to a point where nobody gets shit. I hear enough of that commie marxist crap from the Mainstream Media, and it has you brainwashed into thinking you are a victim. Well you got 1st world problems WHITE WOMAN, and those problems aren't even worth mentioning in the grand scheme of things.
Quit being a Sheep, be a individual. It will be better for you and you will be a better example for others.
So on point! Revealed some deep childhood events that i recognize with new eyes. I see why i am the way i am in a new way
Excellent talk! Everyone should watch this and SHARE.
No
Yes they should.
tokin 420Bowls dude, even if you totally disagree thats not a way to talk to a chick... man not cool
OR, you could just take over the country. Personally, I recommend that option for feminists.
Jason Martin no
One of the BEST TED TALKS I've ever seen. Excellent. Chemaly is brilliant: I've heard her often on lectures and interviews.
You must have an incredibly low IQ as in single digits to think that any of this crap she said is brilliant.
Ikr? This is such common sense it should be called conmon knowledge, not brilliant. We're all such dumb bitches :)
@@GHOSTbirdnatureLOVER Thank you ma'am. It is common knowledge.
This is so true. I wish we can instantly change this culture. But I still see even in today's household where the man makes more than the woman, and the woman decides to quit her job to care for her children - that the man still holds the power because he holds the purse strings. I see older women having to use their feminine wiles to do and get the things that she wants. It's not an ideal situation because the daughter can sense that the man has the power. But - for the time being, the feminine wile will have to do as the culture changes slowly. It stems from women getting significantly less pay for same amount of work as men, and this trickles into family life and in other areas.
as always, Soraya Chemaly ROCKS!
This is amazing. I am going into high school and have a brother who is three years younger than me and is at home a lot more than I am. I have more chores than he does, (also historically female chores), yet he gets "allowance" when I do most of his chores anyway while he is playing video games because, "he did that last time-" "no I did." "don't interrupt me and just go do it." He also is allowed to curse while I am not. People apologize to him if someone interrupts him while if I point it out I am told that that is not how society or a conversation works. I get better grades than him but when his report card comes home he is praised while my parents are confused why I have good grades because they don't remember seeing me work. My parents do share chores like they both cook and things like that but they don't realize that they are still doing things that are making their daughter talk less and less and making their son think that he is able to say and do whatever they want even at a very young age.
I am sorry you have to live like this. Its completely unfair and undeserved. I hope it won't put you down and i wish you the best in life
That sucks hope u can move out soon or things get better, I doubt it would be good to talk to them but maybe you could tru
Thank you thank you thank you! Very insightful
THIS IS BRILLIANT!
+Susan Jaye brilliant if you have nothing constructive to do in your life . .
choff56 Robert Willis
Be sure to show your wives what you wrote and let me know their views.
Knowledge is an "intrinsic human characteristic?"
That make no sense.
You're lauding someone who is illogical, and obviously sufferers from high neuroticism.
Women are tax payers too, I don't understand why you are so angry with Susan she only said she liked the video. She didn't mention free services? The main issues the speaker wanted was better designed bathrooms (done by private companies not tax payers), equal house chore sharing and a higher precentage of male teachers?
No explanation needed....loved that.
My FEMALE boss kept saying "If you want something done right, get a man to do it." The system is crushing us and making us believe this old lies.
True. Your boss isn't woke, is she? Thank you Luiz
Ha ha - that’s a saying I was brought up with only it has woman instead of a man getting the job done!
This is a great and illuminating talk...
brilliant information! priceless!
It is important to note that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and forms. Women should feel confident and comfortable in their own skin, regardless of societal beauty standards.
I am far for being a feminist ... and I agree 100% with all you said here. This are real issues that need to be talked about!
Amazing! Thank a lot
I was interrupted three times while I was watching this video, and pleaser as I am, I couldn't even bring myself to say "stop interrupting me".
Wow, amazing! All so true and well explained!
This was a fantastic presentation!!!!!
We tell the twenty year old woman to get more confident and ask for the raise because that way we can blame them for sexism against them. "It's not sexism, women just don't know how to ask for what they want."
So openly NOT doing what men have to do to earn more (than those men that don't) proves your just discriminated against...not that you're just not doing it. Yeah...
Endoptic did you not watch the video o how women are systematically taught to be quiet and look pretty
Miranda Fricker's (I think in the video Soraya says Flicker, but its Fricker) Epistemic Injustice is AMAZING! I have the first chapter of the book as a PDF and I'd be happy to email it to anyone who's interested!! It will come with notes on it though, lol.
What a wonderful speech this is! A huge thank you. I have learnt a great deal and I will be using those three phrases daily from now on)
When we say 'men' and 'women' we say that men are primary and women are something different.
Is this Poe's Law?
According to the chart text at 7:08 and the corresponding verbal statement at 14:35, in mixed groups "men talk 75% more than women", which means they speak about 64% of the time and women about 36% (since 0.64 is about 75% larger than 0.36). So, if women are perceived as "dominating" the conversation when they speak "30% of the time" (and thus, presumably, when men speak 70% of the time), this means that women are perceived as dominating when they speak *less* often than they typically do. (Or, in other words, they are seen as dominating in the *average* comversation, or in *most* conversations.) Something seems off about this, since the implication would not merely be that women are expected to talk less *than men* (her apparent conclusion at 15:04), but that they are expected to talk less *than they currently do* -- which is an even stronger statement.
Hear Hear! thank you for this TedX! It is so very true! I was at my favorite starbucks and six women / girls were waiting for the ladies bathroom. No one was in line for the men's room. We finally began to use the men's room. I cannot believe that we do not have gender neutral bathrooms at Starbucks! It just makes sense. I know some are concerned about doing so. I say put a gender neutral sign on each one and a warning light that alerts that it is occupied when the light is on. Note: the lights are motioned sensored. If no one is in it, they will go off.
Well researched, well said,
Got some insight, thanks for sharing.