I have been blessed having gifts of creativity, independence, empathetic and assertive when I must be to be who I am. I feel also, have the gift of premonition which can be difficult, but I ask God not to inform me of death that may come to those I know. Rather not be aware of too much information.
Unfortunately, the Dark Empath can read their prey - as they love bomb them, intensely digging for how they can inflict the most pain. My husband was in his glory when my family members passed because I was vulnerable & he could slip in little malicious venom & say it was me being emotional. Planting the dark seed of self-doubt was the primary goal.
Any INFJ ( like myself) is bound to be attacked for just being how we are.I have lost jobs for solving problems or just excelling."HOw do you DO that?" Hey, I think the fur coat and cigar are little remnants of a past life in which you were very successful.I have little past life remnants too.I enjoy them because theyfeel familiar
I try to hide my intuitive nature from those that may resent me. My narcissist mom wanted me to use my intuitive gifts and I said, "no." Why? It is a gift to help if I can those that I may be able to assist not abuse it.
I sense something when she asked for my friendship, but I just thought it was her insecurity which I made no big deal over it because everyone is insecure from time to time. Biggest mistake I ever made especially when I felt cold at the mentioned of friendship. She was so destructive that at one point I would have drowned that woman. However, I did even once but felt bad over it. However, I am not a violent individual but boy I wished I could have knocked some sense into her. However, that won't do except to stay away from her as much as possible which has been a positive from my point of view.
So True!! I can relate! My wife told me after our marriage that my sister is on a mission to dim her light and mine too. Shecattacked my wife when she is alone. She copied all my wife did or wear ! I could not believe this till 5 years later, my sister abuse us both without a reason and she told me in my face that she hate us and especially me for what I did and still do in tge good way. She want us to dim our lights , to dissapear out of her life..😮😮😮 I decide to never speak to my sister again!! She told all kind of lies about us. We kept silent and had no contact! Her life crumbled completely because of her evil nature! Even her husband left her for her evilness..
It is the only way to avoid them but I had to be around due to helping my older sister who became overwhelmed by my mother until I turned 28 and wanted out due to wanting my own life which was wise of me.
I used to do emergency psychiatric in a tricounty bispital.I had peolple threaten to kills me and I neer linked. BUT, one guy came on, with police, and regardless of the fact he was in handcufss he SCARED ME DEEPLY. He was in a narc rage.
Gods Wrath 🔥🔥Fear no man but fear God.Man can kill the body but God has final say of mind body & souls.🙏 I don't want Gods wraths but I can deal with a man being hateful towards me.😮😢
OMG!! This is so true, their rage is awful… makes you scared to say anything incase they kick off… no way to live… but, they have a brilliant way of blaming you for their outbursts… gaslighting you!! I think that’s why I stayed so long with narc ex husband because I blamed myself for a lot of out fall outs but truth be told… it was his fault because of his horrible narcissistic nature.
They also hate brave people because they are cowards but I guess is related to all four traits, even creativity since you need to be brave to create too.
Bein genuinly known as a strong truth based persona Or Not letting yourself bein changed into a mere weakened puppet Or if u proven to be not a hypcrite and normalize also the same pathetic un-moralities. Or in my case i never threw my standards & norms out of the window as those who tried but failed. And yes only a coward picks on people who arent able to say no or fight back either it be mental or physical. My own experience was even that my narc/borderlined ex gf cheated on me even with a criminal persona behind my back and later when i confronted her she used the most pathetic excuse after i said: im against the mainstream use/abuse players and 304"s pop cult and criminalities. She said: u shouldnt be black white thinkin im more nuanced thinkin and grey thinkin
Same here after 65 years old…covert egg donors that are coverts are the most insidious of narcissists! I’m now free ! Going no contact is absolutely vital!!!!!!
Narcs are gross. Please don’t decide your value on their stupid comments or smirks of look downs. No one of quality acts like narcs do. Life is short. Be with kind people. If you sense any meanness = run.
Everyone is/was mean. So totally alone now. They all force themselves on me, abuse me, bully me, physically and sexually abuse me, violate me and lie and gaslight when I address it. They never change. They never ask for forgiveness. Everyone is like that.. Also how haven’t the narcs aka dogs of society been humbled by all the things that have been seen in the darkness amongst the other wolves? You might be a beautiful singer, painter, poet but there’s no dignity in this place, and people see every gross and wretched aspect of the human condition in the night with their red eyes. So surely, surely that would take them down a few pegs and help them to acknowledge the fallen nature of their flesh, and all the grotesque happenings of it.. How can you still be so in love with yourself when their eyes reduce you to the stature of a gastro intestinal problem you’re having.. Or any other private matter..
🙌 yes. Do not think they’ll change. They will not. No need to “label” mean people. They are just not good. Toxic. It may be tough ….but just get out asap and stay out of
They hate when you love something which I love perfume and told her, by mistake a perfume that I fell in love with. She went ahead to buy it before I did. I couldn't afford it because I was supporting my mother financially. So I had to wait until I had the money. I learned never to provide her with anything positive about me anymore. Learned through my own mistakes.
I am all these things .... 1.Creative people.2.Independant /strong people.3.Empathic people.4.Genuine people . No wonder I'm constantly attacked by narcissists.
This is spot on. I'm creative, independent, empathetic and assertive. That's why two of my narcisst siblings absolutely hate me . Most Iimportantly, they can't control me. That sends them into a rage. A massive rage. Narcissism is truly evil.
Unfortunately, I didn't know this but I was told my two sisters resented me. What is interesting I tried to help them both but they refused my assistance so there wasn't much I could do to help them.
@@junanitabowen5591 - I don't think "hated" me is too strong but I was creative early on when I was young and new at age 9, how to take care of my needs. As if I knew quickly what I had to do to take care of me. I also knew how to save money which I did from my lunch money. I was concerned telling my siblings may alter my future in terms of not getting enough money for lunch so I kept these things to myself. I tried to teach my younger sister but she refused to follow suit. I then, refused to teach anything that they should try to learn on their own.
I'll be 70 this May. I was only 12-13 in the early Hippie days. I didn't like the psychedelic posters in the store, so I made my own. I Loved bell bottom pants (&still do!) I made my own hippie clothes. Even though the posters & styles were new, I made my own stuff so that I didn't have assembly line clothes or posters!!! I was a kid back then. Today, I live in a senior housing place. 🙄 Boring decor, colors, rather lack of colors. Can't paint the walls... But!! I make Brightly colored posters with scriptures on them, to encourage myself in God's Word!!! P.S. There are Colors in Heaven, No Human has seen!!! I just take after my Heavenly Father!!!
I too in my 77 much older but loved creative clothes back in the 60s which I made a dress out of this fabric which I wore with my black patent boots. I wore my hair blonde until I got tired of being compared to others. I was pushed by my narcissist mom to wear it blonde at age 14 because she was a blonde, but I wanted to be me - so I went back to my reddish-brown hair and felt more like me. How did you get to move to a senior housing place at 70? I still work to survive but I am waiting until next year when I can finish paying off my car and debts by must save to move to a place like a senior housing. Sounds like you do a lot of creative things - good for you. Keep up the good work.
The hate for creative personalities is also a hallmark of corporations you may be employed by…big corporations , especially retail ones, are by their nature and processes are overtly narcissistic and malignantly so.
I have very recently begun employment at one as my first experience in retail after almost 50 years, and have found this to be very true. Also, compared to my previous field in medicine, it seems that there is a higher percentage of narcissists who work there.
I’m a creative working for a major corporation. I’ve worked as a creative all of my life, for major corporations. It feels like love/hate. They’ll celebrate you for your contributions - then they’ll try to stuff you in a box to kill that creativity.
YES!!!! Why do they hate jokes or funny stuff? I've noticed that with everyone of them, unless they are the ones making a sarcastic comment, then they laugh...
@@ComeOut.BeYeSeparate. yes true they really hate it..most of them have no personality of their own & I think they feel it as an attack..maybe they feel small?
@@ComeOut.BeYeSeparate. Wow, this resonates with me. My narc sis couldn’t crack a joke if it depended on her life. Unless it was a sarcastic “joke” made at my expense…
Very true!! My narc sister would always get mad at me for “laughing too loud”. I never thought of that as a narc trait before. But it’s true! They have zero sense of humor!
Agreed. I’m creative, independent, and highly empathetic. I was also pretty assertive as well but the narcissist tried to beat the assertiveness right out of me. That’s why I had to walk away and go no contact. A couple months before I left she told me how she was very concerned about me. She told me that I may need to see a therapist because I was angry and bitter and she was afraid it would cause me to screw up my new job. It was funny because I was so happy being back at this job after being gone a couple years and my life was going well and I was feeling so positive. She said I’m concerned because you are fighting everything I’m telling you to do and that is not you. I’m thinking omg has she ever met me? It was just me showing that independence again. She was a super controlling covert manipulative narcissist. Now I’m getting my assertiveness back.
My mother said the same thing to me months before I could no longer be in her life. Last stab I guess for her. To me it was a final nail. Before I understood NPD my husband once said it is like she is jealous of you. How sick they get. She wanted to control your mind. After a lifetime of training you how to think. Glad you went no contact.
My cat agrees with your cat. 😻 The part where you ask "has she ever met me", do you know what I tell people who try to tell me who I am? I let them know, "When I want your opinion of me, I will give it to you." So far, every narcissist I've told that to has not been able to respond with anything meaningful. I wish you all the best in getting your assertiveness back.
Please don’t forget small adorable children and babies!!! They steal desperately needed attention from the Narcissist by simply being cute. They have no power there.Makes them furious.
@@evilbarbie2160 I hope you weren't suggesting that autism and narcissism are similar enough to fall under a discussion of narcissism... because they are unique conditions.
My dad used to say never be jealous and never be around fearful people... And when I was in high school I said dad why do you tell me that all the time I'm not jealous of anybody I'm happy who I am... I'm good at sports I taught myself how to play the guitar and I'm good in school I'm not jealous of anybody... And my dad said no people are going to be jealous of you because you're happy.... I'm 60 years old and I can honestly say that's been the story
It's as if there isn't enough happiness to go around. Or there is a Happiness Pie in the sky and once it's eaten, that's all. If you want some, you'll have to steal it! And they try to. Being an introvert, I enjoy being alone, watching a movie, reading a good book or get inspiration from it, enough to write a story of my own. And yet, there are people want to steal others' happiness.
To be creative is to be brave because when you express yourself you unfortunately put yourself in a situation to be judged. I’ve never cared what people thought of me because I march to my own drum which really is what my husband hates about me. I’m very independent and boy it was the thing my husband in the beginning loved but really hated about me. Your videos and all the people that respond here in this forum have really helped me understand the situation I’m in and put language and context to know I’m not crazy. So thank you all!!! I am divorcing my husband and moving to another town, basically I’m running to never look back so I can start living my best life again.
I came close to wanting to hurt myself because the negativity was too much for me, but God had a reason and gave me an answer to leave immediately which I did.
I love the "box" metaphor! Not only do I apply the "box" concept metaphorically, I also apply it literally-- when office spaces, rooms, all sorts of literal boxes don't suit my preference, I will concoct ways to modify the box!
My mother is a narcissist life around her is a living hell nothing pleases her she demeans everything and everyone. She’s brainwashed my children behind my back and still does.
They are rigid, unchangeable, data oriented, they are stuck in their tight, knit unchangeable box and hate creatives because we are free flowing . Keep being creative ❤❤
Thank you for saying what you did about narcissist. Narcissist are soul suckers that will eventually destroy themselves because of their own behavior. I finally found my inner strength , was able to heal and move forward after meeting a narcissist. This man was pure evil with intent to destroy all he meet because you defended yourself. I didn't even know the term narcissist till I meet this person. Now I am learning about narcissistic personality disorder.
I finally understand... I have all these qualities. My ex narcissistic husband eliminated... My musical abilities by getting rid of everything to do with it. My creativeness that I displayed in my work environment, my artistic skills, my independence. I'm a very strong independent person. I proved it every single day in my working career in Jewellery Management. I studied in my 40ies to get a Batchelor Degree in Business Admin. My horse riding and love of horses.. He made me sell and rid from my life. Everything you've spoken about... My ex husband hated and illuminated from my life. I was very educated, very musical, did public speaking in Toastmasters. I can sing and play guitar. Both my kids were musical too, which he used to insult and knock their abilities, my kids were awesome swimmers, both my kids were independant that they were like me. The 3 of us are very independent. I know the 3 of ilus have deep empathy. My ex husband devalued and demeaned both my children. Both my children are highly intelligent... Highly intelligent. You have made everything come together... I finally understand why my ex husband hated the 3 of us so much.
Hi Kevin. My “Christian” family shamed me for smoking cigarettes and becoming a mental health professional, which they felt were against God. And then I found out that they were giving aid, comfort & succor to my highly abusive husband from whom I am estranged. When I had turned to that particular sister before her involvement in treachery against me- to ask for help getting out of my highly abusive (sickeningly so) marriage, she said, “It’s not possible to be abused by your spouse, because it’s your job to submit to anything your husband, the head of the household, deigns to do to/with/for/concerning or against you- and as a good wife you will honor him no matter what, while you also pray for him.” I am certain that God detests any kind of marital or other abuse. I left my abuser and my entire family has chosen to support him fully for the past 2 years. Now they are all as strangers to me. Thanks for your support & wisdom.❤❤❤
My malignant narc mother joined my malignant narc husband when she realized that he was running a smear campaign against me and they insidiously attacked me for a year and a half before I understood what was happening. By then it was too late and because of a despicable DHS report filled with lies, they managed to steal my son, my late in life gift, the 6th of my 6 children, the only minor still at home. They are still the best of friends! I started attempting to go no contact from them in 2013 but was not able to accomplish it until 2021. After 8 long years of psych wards, prison and near deadly rituals they used me in, against my will, my son is an adult and is home with me, we live together again! I'm so grateful God did not allow me to un alive myself! I became suicidal at age 4 after a brutal lashing that caused my first near-death experience and I lived from age 4 to age 50 mostly in suicidal ideation, but not every year, although those 8 years were a special kind of evil, different from the other bad years. I heard the same bullshit from my mother that you heard from your sister. The best thing we've ever done is claim a no contact life away from our captors. I'm sorry they did that to you. Life can be so hard, yeah? Well, good luck to you! I'm proud of you! Excellent work, my friend, going no contact! It's the only safe, wise thing to do. Peace be with you! PS. God is good! If it isn't good, it isn't from God! God permits evil in order that he may draw more good from it. It is not God's will that I be hurt by those closest to me, it is the will of those human beings, which is free after all. God did for me what I could not do for myself. I was legitimately beyond human aid but I did the hard work my whole adult life. God did for me what I could not do for myself. Everyday I ask God how I can be of service to my fellow man and I give back to life. I get paid by 76 but I work for God. I believe if I take care of God's kids, God takes care of me!
So glad I found your channel! Even though my mother passed away years ago, I still feel her narcissistic presence. I recall one episode when visiting my parent with my brother we discussed, for whatever reason, education. It was then that my Mother, who for years called me 'Goon Girl' (instead of my real name, Barbara) said in a strained high pitched voice for all to hear, "Oh yes, and Barbara went to Haaarvard... I looked at her and in a calm voice said, "Mom, you're the only mother in the world"...I saw her eyes soften and her lips turning to a smile. It was then, I finished what I had to say, "that isn't proud of her daughter putting herself through Harvard, getting a Master's degree with no help from anyone!" Wow, that felt great to say to her. She raged with anger...as expected. I learned to separate myself from her and didn't speak to her for 12 years, and it was a cousin who told me of her death at age 99. I hope she had learned in life that her child was, as you mentioned, an independent, creative, empathic, and assertive person but, I doubt it! Thanks for letting me rant a little...I'll leave a tip in the jar.
Yes indeed, when my narcissistic mother passed away, the best way I can describe it is that she felt like a "ghost limb", as if I had a limb amputated but it felt like it was still there. The exhausting vigilance we learned to have with a narcissistic mother is not easily soothed after their passing, but it is very normal. Grief over a narcissistic parent's death is a lot more complex than ordinary grief, especially since it can involve a sense of relief. I wish you all the best.
But, I can tell you that we’re proud of you!👏🏽👏🏽🙌🏽. That is a beautiful accomplishment!❤ I know what it’s like because my mother started working to keep me underemployed or unemployed, after I survived 8 years of trying to escape what the recession did to my life. The “ghost arm” is still very much alive in my younger sister, who my mother happily told me I might have to take abuse from. It has been exactly an abusive 2 years in probate now. But, it’s possible it is being resolved, as my sister may be going to jail.
@@privateprivate8366 What is it about a parent, especially a mother, who wants nothing but the worst outcomes in life for their children? We know it's Narcissism perhaps from their own insecurities and traumas in childhood. I'm glad you've learned to crawl out of that evil hole she put you in! Your sister is the same personality type as my youngest brother. He wanted nothing more than to get my other brother and I off the Will and with his lying skills, he did so! We are however, so glad to be free from evil and jealous family members...and so happy to have done so. I'm sure once you're through probate and receive what's justifiably yours, you too will feel that freedom! All the best, and thanks for the kudos! 🥰
It's a legitimate gripe rather that a "rant" imo. I can relate. I got myself through university then moved to the other side of the world (UK). I arrived in London in the 1990's with enough money for 2 nights of accommodation. Fast forward 10 years and I was a partner in a successful and high profile business, married and with my first child on the way. I took my mother on a tour of our offices which were impressive by anyone's standards. Her comment "Your sister works in a really nice office" Apart from the fact that she had never even been to my sisters place of work it simply wasn't the case. I think that is when the penny finally dropped for me. She wasn't just not proud of my achievements but was genuinely resentful of them. It's been about 5 years of no contact for me now. Initially she stopped communicating when I told her I no longer had the means to financially support her and support my own family. I've now realised that that was a gift. I've had the odd random text message over the years which I haven't responded to but other than that, absolutely no contact. I'd like to say I am totally free of the lingering torment but I still have the occasional realization and recollection which makes me feel sick. In saying that I am much closer to being healed from years of her bs. Thanks for reading
My husband earned half $1 million in a corporate job. I did literally everything else. And when I had a job I had two full-time jobs as well as a teenage son. An alcoholic perverted teenage son. He suggested I get a job as a server in a restaurant over the summer, while he golfed with his new vacuous brain dead equally addicted entitled assholes. He did this knowing I have a masters degree, have held high paid, high-level positions in the past, because he didn’t want me to pursue the things he’s kept me from the last 30 years, knowing I would be successful and it would be the final break away from him. They are always and only thinking of themselves.
Not a creative bone in their body…..so funny and true and made me laugh out loud! I don’t care about the cigar, I’m here for the insight. Thanks Kevin.
PS--I think that's Kevin being the authentic Kevin and that sort of perhaps even maybe another inadvertent truth drop about how we're not supposed to be "TRAPPED within their box."
@maryjowhite I completely agree! My ex gf claimed she was a creative, and she used to cook for a living like I did. But a few weeks after I walked away from her, I found out from a friend who was acquainted with her that 3wks before I was set to visit her(long distance relationship), ran into her at the supermarket. She was panicking b/c she didn't have any recipes to love bomb me with, and that she had to start practicing & experimenting so I wouldn't out do her, and so she could keep up with me since I wanted to cook meals together. At that point, She had already boaated to me about all the places she used to work at, and how she invemted all these amazing dishes. But when the time came to try her food, it was bland, and I could tell she wasn't comfortable in the kitchen. She over baked a few things including a cheesecake. I'll never forget the look on her face when she tried my food😆😆😆 In another conversation(after walking away)with the same friend, I found out that my ex had spent a majority of her career cooking in nursing/convalescent homes, not restaurants😆😆😆. I don't consider myself very accomplished in my former career as a cook, but I know I still out did her just by improvising without a recipe book, and I know she HATED that.
I also laughed at that. It is true. And I once mistakenly told my good friend that our now ex-friend the narc, didn't have a mean bone in her body. Holy crap was I wrong!
I'm already aware that I'm not very well liked by many people, including family members, which has taken me a while to accept, so I'm prepared for another dose of the truth! ❤
If you're accidentally pissing off people like those, you're probably doing something right. Uptight conformists (including those who PRETEND to be rebellious) can't stand people like me or you at certain times. It's better than being like THEM!
If you're accidentally pissing off people like those, you're probably doing something right. Uptight conformists (including those who PRETEND to be rebellious) can't stand people like me or you at certain times. It's better than being like THEM!
If you're accidentally pissing off people like those, you're probably doing something right. Uptight conformists (including those who PRETEND to be rebellious) can't stand people like me or you at certain times. It's better than being like THEM!
If you're accidentally pissing off people like those, you're probably doing something right. Uptight conformists (including those who PRETEND to be rebellious) can't stand people like me or you at certain times. It's better than being like THEM!
If you're accidentally pissing off people like those, you're probably doing something right. Uptight conformists (including those who PRETEND to be rebellious) can't stand people like me or you at certain times. It's better than being like THEM!
Absolutely true. However, they do love empathetic people when it serves them. Empaths will typically fall in line and are easily manipulated by them. Now being independent and an empath is a different story.
I've heard in an article that "selective empathy is worse than no empathy at all". If that is so, that means I'm a terrible person. Because I can't have empathy for a narcissist, or people who have other problems, or even just someone who has a horrible personality. Similarly, I won't allow myself to be vulnerable around them. Why should I, when I know I'd get hurt. That's what they want! Narcissists crave attention. That's why I don't give it to them. I just ignore them. No, I can't say that I'm STARVING them. The narcissist can always find someone else to get their supply. But they still complain and devaluate and even enlist a third party, to force the one who won't give any supply to get into line!
@@trishawalsh7832Once the empath wakes up it's over for the narcissist. Crazy thing is they plotting behind your back with one of your enemies or more.
Oh boy, does that ever ring true. I was taken in by a covert narc, and bit by bit, I saw her victim act turn to an attention-seeking, self-centred, obnoxious and embarrassing person who just took over any space she was in, growing everyone else out, and spiteful as all heck in the end when me and a couple of friends united and stood up to her.
This is great, and it explains my own experience with a sibling who is obviously jealous of my musical ability, and decries any thing I do, thank you so much.
There are plenty of narcs out there in the entertainment industry and the arts, so sometimes they are creative. The problem comes when they mix it up with other creative types because they're always afraid someone is better than they are and turn into total divas about it!
I know someone who is very talented and creative, but is also very critical of friends and family. This person is rude and acts as if they are superior to other people. Very creative with numerous narcissistic traits.... This person projects things he does onto other people, also. This person will say that others have no filter, and at same time will insult others because he blurts out insults and criticisms ....because he has no filter at all.
I"m a novelist, knew I was a writer even as a child, and my two-years-older sister (the narcissist) would try to even things up, as she put it once, by writing little newspaper columns that weren't actually creative but more -- to her credit -- reportive. But she was devastated when told they weren't creative!
The scapegoat of a narcissistic family is usually the one who speaks the truth and whose head is the most level, reasonable and realistic, and whose behaviors and feelings are the most sincere and authentic. I am so glad they were not successful they couldn't extinguish your inner light.
I've followed a few trainers on narcissism, but you have nailed it, 100%. Now I see why the narcissist parent degraded my creativity, and made me work in her factory. That darkness almost killed me-- until i had the courage to get out
You are totally correct...It's all about Control. Narcissists always make it their mission to control, even silently envying the creativeness & interlect of others with deep feelings of inferiority.
Beside ur knowledge, I admire the dress code and the back ground! U walk in ur healing! I’m so proud of u Mr. Kevin - The Royal We! Peace & blessings 2 u & ur family!❤
My narcissistic brother is also a counselor. I feel sorry for his clients! Also, on the assertiveness point, one time when he and I were talking on the phone, he started badmouthing someone behind their back (his favorite pastime). In a civil tone, I told him we really shouldn't be gossipping. He called me an asshole and hung up the phone on me. I've also noticed he doesn't feel comfortable around people who have a strong sense of self, who he can't rope in. He's very insecure!
I imagine how much harm and damage your brother does in a year. We got a narcissistic priest at our church but no one seems to understand that sth between vulnerable/righteous but he seemed to dislike me almost immediately, his eyes look dead to me, first I didnt understand why so much misunderstanding. Now that i see him like i see him snd he probably seems to get it. Luckily we have other good priests. But imagine how much harm he does with giving his counselling to vulnerable distressed people and distorts Gods intentions or whatever the direction he changes the peoples perspectives.
That he is a counsellor is chilling. My ex-friend, a covert narc, loves to gossip as well. At first, I took it as her being extensively victimised and needing people to vent to as a means of support and healing. But no. She was in love with her exaggerated anger, and there were times she was less angry at things that would incense any empath, than things that only bruised her ego. That always disturbed me about her.
Yes it all makes sense I'm all 4 of those traits and I've copped shit for being truthfully 24:53 doing what I like being independent standing up for what I believe so true Kevin so I've broken so many contacts with people who don't get me but expect me to bend over backwards for them and then treat me like shit afterwards you are a godsend Kevin it all makes sense now
1. Creative people threaten narcs because narcs can only imitate, never create; creative people also think outside the box and are thus difficult to control long-term 2. Independent people bother narcs because Independent people won't submit to a lifestyle they didn't choose themselves (hard to control; he uses Star Wars to describe this and it is terrific) 3. Empathetic people are hated by narcs because narcs have zero empathy and they fear the vulnerability that comes with empathy 4. Assertive people (.... seems more like he means integrity and being honest since he says Assertive people say yes to mean yes, no to mean no, and the willingness to refuse to do something the narc wants if it you think it is wrong) PS I love your fur. I live up north; and all Canadians, Scandinavians, and Russians know that fur is the best.
Wow! You’re on the Mark!!! I just broke up with my Narc. I Loved Him So much. But, he was a classic Narcissist. I think he knew it too. He thought I didn’t know. I’ve known since the get go. It felt like I was fighting with a jealous Woman. Always in competition with me. Always wanting to control. I allowed Him to think he was in control. But, he wasn’t. I was just patient with him. I Loved him that much. But, now it’s over. Time to LIVE!!! ♥️♥️♥️
Perfection Kevin. Love your video. You're spot on. They couldn't control me and I was hated for it. I was hated for having a sound mind that they tried to gaslight. Recording them put an end to that nonsense while standing grounded in reality. When I laughed they hated it. My creative side despised as I watched their failed attempts to mimic me. My kindness towards others made them sick and annoyed unless they were benefiting from it for themselves. My independence from them was a threat because that meant they couldn't control and manipulate me nor keep me in line like the others.They hate every good thing and they work overtime to steal and destroy it. Keep being your authentic self. That's what makes you special and unique. Stay blessed. 🤗❤💯
Good discussion. I am all of the above, pretty much. Now I understand more. They also seem to hate anyone with any semblance of authentic leadership ability, fairness, appreciation for merit-based system..... Theirs is a bootlicking/backstabbing system of hierarchy, where knowledge/talent/ability is secondary.
Love this video Kevin. I think I am all these to a degree. Did not understand why I never did fit in my family. It was such a toxic system with me as the scapegoat. I'm a Christian, love God and the freedom of the gospel. All this has started to make sense over the last few months and I'm late 50's. What a revelation! I'm in the UK by the way. You have extensive reach. Be blessed and free!
Thank you...I enjoyed your talk...Ive got 💯 experience of what you are talking about...and the worst part, it's my own blood and flesh...3 of them😢so much so, that Ive been going for inner healing the past 2 years, being brainwashed for 40 years, what kind of person I am....only starting going back to the person I was 40 years ago, but its very difficult if you are the outcast of a fam of 4....realising now, Im the person that is the one who has all the characteristics you have been talking about....it is a very heartsore place to be...the outcast mother of 2 sons and their father.....however GOD lòks after me😢😢
Your transparency and ‘ballsy way of living’ is teaching me how to get stronger myself!!! Trauma bonding has kept me held down inside the box even though I filed for divorce after 40 years of marriage, 44 years together! 💪🏼
You are sooooo good Kevin. I am highly creative and my narc mom berated me for that my entire life. Unbelievable! I have never embraced my creativeness and thus have hated all my jobs! What insight! Wow. LOVE THE FIR AND CIGAR!
So dame true what you said. The bad thing is when you go no contact with these people we are hiding something. They love trying to heart me and my family spending rumors and lies about me. Words do heart. I do not wont anything to do with there circle of people. And they love to fish around to have some reason to come to me and my house. I just wish these people wood just stop and live me and my family alone.
Oh my goodness!!! You nailed it!!! No wonder why narcs hate my husband and me…. And now knowing about narcissists and uncovering the ones in our families.. we are more determined to be: creative, empathetic, independent and assertive!
I have ALL 4, & have experienced Narcissistic responses because of it everytime with various Narcissist throughout my life. I'm aware as well Kevin, but thank you for sharing this Video. I RESPECT YOU Man. Be Well..!!!
I love your creativity, Kevin. You are authentic, and what you are saying is liberating to me. I love the smell of cigars, and im Christian. Life is meant to be lived. After 40 years of attempting to live within their boxes and lanes, I have nearly been destroyed. I went mo contact back in October 2023. I attempted to try and make peace, especially before the holidays. Needless to say, it didn't go well. I'm building my new self. I'm a creative, impath, compassionate, and go with the flow. I'm not afraid to try new things. I have been independent since I could talk. I'm just starting back into my artwork. Always been crafty, but starting my painting and drawing journey. Wish me luck.
I love the smell of cigars too and today I bought a perfume that smell like cigarete smoke lol I bet someone will have something to say about that too lol😅
I beg to differ. Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes. Artists are not exempt. They do like to copy people but never rule out that there's one breed out there.....they're more creatively manipulative than most of us. That's an art within itself. I'm happy to be a step ahead and I'm well prepared how to deal with them.
I agree. I have been doing a housekeeping/Cleaning job for an elderly narcissistic woman. A very good artist, her art work is all around her home. No matter what i do for her its never good enough, She treats me Like dirt, humiliates and invalidates me, and often demands i go to her house at weekends because she cant stand being on her own (I have constantly denied her that demand though) She has no friends and her whole family have abandoned her. I'm getting out because she's affecting my mental health badly. I have to careful though because a couple of people who have known her tell me she's a horrible revengeful individual.
Kevin you’re Spot ON! My Rebel came out when My narc enmeshed in-laws (the head matriarch mother with the 2 flying monkey daughters) decided to “drop by” my house one afternoon, intentionally ignoring me and only engaging with my husband and each other became unglued and disoriented when I decided to quietly light up a cigarette, crack open a beer and walk out the door without saying a word.
I’m an independent empath. It’s in my nature. I have enraged my share of toxic people all of my life. You look amazing by the way! Thank you for all that you do! Continue to enjoy your life! 🙏 You made an excellent point about some mental health professionals being toxic. I have witnessed and experienced their toxic behavior myself. They have learned to fly under the radar with their cognitive empathy. They are dangerous and we must protect ourselves! Thanks for educating us and showing us how.
All of this 💯. I lived this nightmare, I'm currently in the divorce process. Keep Sharing & how you dress and do on here isn't the critics business. Petty just like toxic Narcissist
I never realized I qualified as all 4. No wonder he’s treated me so bad for 28 years. I’ve been trying to leave for years but now I’ve been on chemo for 7 years, and he has made sure that I’m completely trapped, no vehicle in my name, the house is in both our names, he refuses to let me leave. He’s so jealous of the attention I give to our kids and grandkids it’s disgusting. Maybe I’ll have better luck in my next life
I’m guessing you being on chemo has most likely been caused by him through all the emotional distress. Once you escape from these people your health gets better, you heal. If you can get out, with the help of a professional, do it now 🙏
YOU GO BOY🎉🎉 THANK YOU SO MUCH with this,,,,, I put it way up!!!!! when my narcissist family member was trying to hear what I was doing, boy she thinks I'm supposed to bow down, I really needed to hear this you made me feel so much better thank u
Kevin your content has really grown. I enjoy your channel so much more now. You seem to have relaxed into your story and sharing. Thanks for the healing journey from someone who has been there done that- got the T-shirt!
Thank you for this video. I've been dealing with a narcissistic boss for a while and the information you presented has helped me process the experience and understand. 💛
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
1.Creative people.
2.Independant /strong people.
3.Empathic people.
4.Genuine people .
Ahaha welp....that explains a lot. I'm high on the hate list 😂
@amandawaite4745
Same Girl Same.smh ( these are all good person traits that Most people should want in their partners/friends)
Great video. He didn’t mention chefs and artists who also create.
@@lissacablerware8475 chefs and artists fall under creative.
I have been blessed having gifts of creativity, independence, empathetic and assertive when I must be to be who I am. I feel also, have the gift of premonition which can be difficult, but I ask God not to inform me of death that may come to those I know. Rather not be aware of too much information.
They also don't like intuitive people because we can see right through their bs.
Unfortunately, the Dark Empath can read their prey - as they love bomb them, intensely digging for how they can inflict the most pain. My husband was in his glory when my family members passed because I was vulnerable & he could slip in little malicious venom & say it was me being emotional. Planting the dark seed of self-doubt was the primary goal.
Any INFJ ( like myself) is bound to be attacked for just being how we are.I have lost jobs for solving problems or just excelling."HOw do you DO that?"
Hey, I think the fur coat and cigar are little remnants of a past life in which you were very successful.I have little past life remnants too.I enjoy them because theyfeel familiar
Yeah, that's right. I can smell the rotten rat in them. LOL😆
I try to hide my intuitive nature from those that may resent me. My narcissist mom wanted me to use my intuitive gifts and I said, "no." Why? It is a gift to help if I can those that I may be able to assist not abuse it.
I sense something when she asked for my friendship, but I just thought it was her insecurity which I made no big deal over it because everyone is insecure from time to time. Biggest mistake I ever made especially when I felt cold at the mentioned of friendship. She was so destructive that at one point I would have drowned that woman. However, I did even once but felt bad over it. However, I am not a violent individual but boy I wished I could have knocked some sense into her. However, that won't do except to stay away from her as much as possible which has been a positive from my point of view.
They want us to dim our light so we don't outshine them. Moved my bright light on down the road and went no-contact.
So True!! I can relate!
My wife told me after our marriage that my sister is on a mission to dim her light and mine too. Shecattacked my wife when she is alone.
She copied all my wife did or wear !
I could not believe this till 5 years later, my sister abuse us both without a reason and she told me in my face that she hate us and especially me for what I did and still do in tge good way.
She want us to dim our lights , to dissapear out of her life..😮😮😮
I decide to never speak to my sister again!! She told all kind of lies about us.
We kept silent and had no contact!
Her life crumbled completely because of her evil nature! Even her husband left her for her evilness..
Exactly
They think everyone is competition and if they are gifted or talented they are a threat to the narcissists ego
Way to go !!
Yes, they don't like joyful people and people who have faith!
“No contact is to protect the person that you are.” True
It is the only way to avoid them but I had to be around due to helping my older sister who became overwhelmed by my mother until I turned 28 and wanted out due to wanting my own life which was wise of me.
So true amen
One big mistake was thinking that a person I valued was my friend, but she was a "flying monkey." Friends of narcissists that do her bidding.
Make you fear reaching out.
They hate you when you are happy 😮
Yes they do it's crazy 😂
Yes!!! The worst thing you can do to them is to be happy, to laugh to enjoy the company of your friends.
I could not understand no one wanted to congratulate me for my promotions and when I was engaged to be married.
That's what I noticed with my mother. It took me years to understand it. It's horrible when it exists within the family.
Anyone here ever meet a clinically diagnosed narcissist? It's wild how different they are compared to the narcissists described in these videos.
You're right! When we think outside the box, they hate us for being a free thinker!
Because you know who you are and so they can't control you. They know they can never fool you.
True
Being a free thinker makes us more difficult to control.
They hate intuitive kind people who can read and see through their bulls###
💯
💯
Absolutely --you nailed it
Absolutely --you nailed it
^^ this
They hate independent, visionary, big minded ideas, creative, etc
Yes. He said I dream too big.
Yes, plus it's hilarious when they try to mirror those attributes 😂
I learned to keep my personal and business to myself. It just doesn't pay to let them know anything about yourself.
Unless they can take the credit & own your ideas which is their twisted false sense of entitlement..
And what do you hate about them?
They don't like competition , they don't like someone , anyone who is in fact a better human being than their monster mindset
Exactly. You are a threat to their fragile ego especially if you are gifted they want the spotlight for themselves. It's sad.
So true !!
Exactly
These narcissist get jealous what underwear you wear to😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@winifredokolo1861 my biological father's mom's name is Winifred 🙂 it's a very classy name 😁🥰
There is no rage like a narcissist’s rage.
I used to do emergency psychiatric in a tricounty bispital.I had peolple threaten to kills me and I neer linked. BUT, one guy came on, with police, and regardless of the fact he was in handcufss he SCARED ME DEEPLY. He was in a narc rage.
I’ve experienced many of these rages from my narc sister and boyfriend. It is deeply terrifying and upsetting.
Gods Wrath 🔥🔥Fear no man but fear God.Man can kill the body but God has final say of mind body & souls.🙏 I don't want Gods wraths but I can deal with a man being hateful towards me.😮😢
OMG!! This is so true, their rage is awful… makes you scared to say anything incase they kick off… no way to live… but, they have a brilliant way of blaming you for their outbursts… gaslighting you!! I think that’s why I stayed so long with narc ex husband because I blamed myself for a lot of out fall outs but truth be told… it was his fault because of his horrible narcissistic nature.
They act like demon possessed.
100% fury and madness 👿👹🤡💀💀💀
They also hate brave people because they are cowards but I guess is related to all four traits, even creativity since you need to be brave to create too.
You're right!
Absolutely 👍…spot on!!!
Bein genuinly known as a strong truth based persona
Or
Not letting yourself bein changed into a mere weakened puppet
Or if u proven to be not a hypcrite and normalize also the same pathetic un-moralities.
Or in my case i never threw my standards & norms out of the window as those who tried but failed.
And yes only a coward picks on people who arent able to say no or fight back either it be mental or physical.
My own experience was even that my narc/borderlined ex gf cheated on me even with a criminal persona behind my back and later when i confronted her she used the most pathetic excuse after i said: im against the mainstream use/abuse players and 304"s pop cult and criminalities.
She said: u shouldnt be black white thinkin im more nuanced thinkin and grey thinkin
I felt like I have all four characteristics.
@johnsh 25:41 afer7214
Me too!
I went no contact with my egg donor and it's the best decision I ever made. After 58 years i finally have peace.
Same here after 65 years old…covert egg donors that are coverts are the most insidious of narcissists! I’m now free ! Going no contact is absolutely vital!!!!!!
Don't you mean sperm donor? Or, are you referring to your mom?
Narcs are gross. Please don’t decide your value on their stupid comments or smirks of look downs. No one of quality acts like narcs do. Life is short. Be with kind people. If you sense any meanness = run.
Yes, they are! I don't know if this one person might be one, but I don't have the credences to find out.
Facts!
Everyone is/was mean. So totally alone now. They all force themselves on me, abuse me, bully me, physically and sexually abuse me, violate me and lie and gaslight when I address it. They never change. They never ask for forgiveness. Everyone is like that..
Also how haven’t the narcs aka dogs of society been humbled by all the things that have been seen in the darkness amongst the other wolves? You might be a beautiful singer, painter, poet but there’s no dignity in this place, and people see every gross and wretched aspect of the human condition in the night with their red eyes. So surely, surely that would take them down a few pegs and help them to acknowledge the fallen nature of their flesh, and all the grotesque happenings of it..
How can you still be so in love with yourself when their eyes reduce you to the stature of a gastro intestinal problem you’re having..
Or any other private matter..
Exactly
🙌 yes. Do not think they’ll change. They will not. No need to “label” mean people. They are just not good. Toxic.
It may be tough ….but just get out asap and stay out of
They hate people that call out their shit as soon as it happens, whether people see/agree with it or not.
1. Their creativity has been shoved into darkness. They choose to destroy other's creativity in the most creative ways.
They hate when you love something which I love perfume and told her, by mistake a perfume that I fell in love with. She went ahead to buy it before I did. I couldn't afford it because I was supporting my mother financially. So I had to wait until I had the money. I learned never to provide her with anything positive about me anymore. Learned through my own mistakes.
Very astute comment- yes highly creative and covert ways to destroy
They also hate when they see you are comfortable in your own skin, because they are not.
Creativity, when stifled, turns to clutter...emotional clutter in your mind and physical clutter in your creative workspace.
I've found this to be so true.
From so much Trauma, unfortunately. Nazi narcs will do that. 😢
Oh, so that is my problem! Clean up time!
Yikes! That rings true indeed.
Can you explain how that works?
Thank you
I am all these things ....
1.Creative people.2.Independant /strong people.3.Empathic people.4.Genuine people .
No wonder I'm constantly attacked by narcissists.
Same here, they seem to be everywhere now 😔
This is spot on. I'm creative, independent, empathetic and assertive. That's why two of my narcisst siblings absolutely hate me .
Most Iimportantly, they can't control me. That sends them into a rage. A massive rage. Narcissism is truly evil.
Same here. Two siblings. I'm 60 and refuse to deal with the toxic family anymore. Walked away a month ago.
Unfortunately, I didn't know this but I was told my two sisters resented me. What is interesting I tried to help them both but they refused my assistance so there wasn't much I could do to help them.
My sisters hate me because i am creative
@@junanitabowen5591 - I don't think "hated" me is too strong but I was creative early on when I was young and new at age 9, how to take care of my needs. As if I knew quickly what I had to do to take care of me. I also knew how to save money which I did from my lunch money. I was concerned telling my siblings may alter my future in terms of not getting enough money for lunch so I kept these things to myself. I tried to teach my younger sister but she refused to follow suit. I then, refused to teach anything that they should try to learn on their own.
I'll be 70 this May. I was only 12-13 in the early Hippie days. I didn't like the psychedelic posters in the store, so I made my own. I Loved bell bottom pants (&still do!) I made my own hippie clothes. Even though the posters & styles were new, I made my own stuff so that I didn't have assembly line clothes or posters!!! I was a kid back then. Today, I live in a senior housing place. 🙄 Boring decor, colors, rather lack of colors. Can't paint the walls... But!! I make Brightly colored posters with scriptures on them, to encourage myself in God's Word!!! P.S. There are Colors in Heaven, No Human has seen!!! I just take after my Heavenly Father!!!
Love your story! Happy birthday in May 🥳 I'll be 60 in April. My mom handmade all our clothing, including macrame belts. God bless.
I too in my 77 much older but loved creative clothes back in the 60s which I made a dress out of this fabric which I wore with my black patent boots. I wore my hair blonde until I got tired of being compared to others. I was pushed by my narcissist mom to wear it blonde at age 14 because she was a blonde, but I wanted to be me - so I went back to my reddish-brown hair and felt more like me. How did you get to move to a senior housing place at 70? I still work to survive but I am waiting until next year when I can finish paying off my car and debts by must save to move to a place like a senior housing. Sounds like you do a lot of creative things - good for you. Keep up the good work.
I loved the creativity of the 1960's, too!!!!
Such as beige?
Amen
The hate for creative personalities is also a hallmark of corporations you may be employed by…big corporations , especially retail ones, are by their nature and processes are overtly narcissistic and malignantly so.
Thank you for articulating my thoughts.
I've found this to be true. 😔
I have very recently begun employment at one as my first experience in retail after almost 50 years, and have found this to be very true. Also, compared to my previous field in medicine, it seems that there is a higher percentage of narcissists who work there.
I’m a creative working for a major corporation. I’ve worked as a creative all of my life, for major corporations. It feels like love/hate. They’ll celebrate you for your contributions - then they’ll try to stuff you in a box to kill that creativity.
this is why the creative person better have his own business and company or find a startup who value new ideas..
I was born a rebel. I refuse to fall in line with all that lies beneath the veil. 🌠🌞✨🍀🦋🌸🌈
Yes 💯They also hate laughter. Especially belly laughter 😅 They can't do it by themselves. If they do it is not genuine.
YES!!!! Why do they hate jokes or funny stuff? I've noticed that with everyone of them, unless they are the ones making a sarcastic comment, then they laugh...
@@ComeOut.BeYeSeparate. yes true they really hate it..most of them have no personality of their own & I think they feel it as an attack..maybe they feel small?
@@ComeOut.BeYeSeparate.
Wow, this resonates with me. My narc sis couldn’t crack a joke if it depended on her life. Unless it was a sarcastic “joke” made at my expense…
Yes they say if u have a belly laugh u r shouting😂, they want a glumy environment
Very true!! My narc sister would always get mad at me for “laughing too loud”. I never thought of that as a narc trait before. But it’s true! They have zero sense of humor!
They absolutely 💯 hate the truth, especially, when it's about them.
Right! My ex narc would always tell me, "truth hurts"" and smirk...like the truth should hurt me about what he says, but in fact, the truth hurts him
What ever he called me and said I was , was a lie, but he'd says "truth hurts" so completely evil
Agreed. I’m creative, independent, and highly empathetic. I was also pretty assertive as well but the narcissist tried to beat the assertiveness right out of me. That’s why I had to walk away and go no contact. A couple months before I left she told me how she was very concerned about me. She told me that I may need to see a therapist because I was angry and bitter and she was afraid it would cause me to screw up my new job. It was funny because I was so happy being back at this job after being gone a couple years and my life was going well and I was feeling so positive. She said I’m concerned because you are fighting everything I’m telling you to do and that is not you. I’m thinking omg has she ever met me? It was just me showing that independence again. She was a super controlling covert manipulative narcissist. Now I’m getting my assertiveness back.
My mother said the same thing to me months before I could no longer be in her life. Last stab I guess for her. To me it was a final nail. Before I understood NPD my husband once said it is like she is jealous of you. How sick they get. She wanted to control your mind. After a lifetime of training you how to think. Glad you went no contact.
My cat agrees with your cat. 😻 The part where you ask "has she ever met me", do you know what I tell people who try to tell me who I am? I let them know, "When I want your opinion of me, I will give it to you." So far, every narcissist I've told that to has not been able to respond with anything meaningful. I wish you all the best in getting your assertiveness back.
lolol ! That's amazing how they get it so wrong... I totally relate and understand. KEEP being assertive. Those female narcs are so much worse
Good 👍🏽
Omgosh ...yaass take back what the evil witch took ...I am so happy for you ....go get em !!
Please don’t forget small adorable children and babies!!! They steal desperately needed attention from the Narcissist by simply being cute. They have no power there.Makes them furious.
The truth teller ? the competent ? the authentic ? the empath ?
lol. Oops… I better make a part two
@@TheRoyalWedon't forget autism, im also wondering the % of empaths / narcissistic fav food are neurodivergent. /infj's.
Amen to everything 🙏
They despise empaths and INFJ’S.
@@evilbarbie2160 I hope you weren't suggesting that autism and narcissism are similar enough to fall under a discussion of narcissism... because they are unique conditions.
That’s exactly what my dad told me. “Not everyone is going to like you, and don’t worry about them.” “ shit on them” that was his exact words.
My dad used to say never be jealous and never be around fearful people... And when I was in high school I said dad why do you tell me that all the time I'm not jealous of anybody I'm happy who I am... I'm good at sports I taught myself how to play the guitar and I'm good in school I'm not jealous of anybody... And my dad said no people are going to be jealous of you because you're happy.... I'm 60 years old and I can honestly say that's been the story
@@Lisa-vj6pzwhat an awesome Dad 💙
This is so true. Boy do they hate knowing that you are capable of so much more than they are. Creativity makes us joyful, and they hate happy people.
It's as if there isn't enough happiness to go around. Or there is a Happiness Pie in the sky and once it's eaten, that's all. If you want some, you'll have to steal it! And they try to.
Being an introvert, I enjoy being alone, watching a movie, reading a good book or get inspiration from it, enough to write a story of my own.
And yet, there are people want to steal others' happiness.
To be creative is to be brave because when you express yourself you unfortunately put yourself in a situation to be judged. I’ve never cared what people thought of me because I march to my own drum which really is what my husband hates about me. I’m very independent and boy it was the thing my husband in the beginning loved but really hated about me. Your videos and all the people that respond here in this forum have really helped me understand the situation I’m in and put language and context to know I’m not crazy. So thank you all!!! I am divorcing my husband and moving to another town, basically I’m running to never look back so I can start living my best life again.
No contact is very important. Too much negativity.
I came close to wanting to hurt myself because the negativity was too much for me, but God had a reason and gave me an answer to leave immediately which I did.
And consistent abuse 🚪
100 with you
They don't like to see you are comfortable with who you are, that you actually like and approve of yourself.❤ Thanks Kevin. 😊
The empath the truth teller the seeker traveller the lover the one who works towards chosen goals and the creative
Absolutely 💯
They want all of the attention and admiration. If anyone else gets the spotlight, even for a second; they get into survival mode.
I appreciate your authenticity! "Shine on you crazy diamond"! I love people who think outside the box!
IT'S MY JOY TO EXPLODE FROM THE ANOTHER PERSON'S BOX.
@@treelover1050Amen! The look of shock on their ARROGANT face when they're NOT GONNA to get their way like they hoped
I love the "box" metaphor! Not only do I apply the "box" concept metaphorically, I also apply it literally-- when office spaces, rooms, all sorts of literal boxes don't suit my preference, I will concoct ways to modify the box!
My mother is a narcissist life around her is a living hell nothing pleases her she demeans everything and everyone. She’s brainwashed my children behind my back and still does.
Shine on you crazy diamond ..pink Floyd.. Roger waters 👌
They are rigid, unchangeable, data oriented, they are stuck in their tight, knit unchangeable box and hate creatives because we are free flowing . Keep being creative ❤❤
They hate creatures because they are unable to think out the box and they love control
Thank you for saying what you did about narcissist. Narcissist are soul suckers that will eventually destroy themselves because of their own behavior. I finally found my inner strength , was able to heal and move forward after meeting a narcissist. This man was pure evil with intent to destroy all he meet because you defended yourself. I didn't even know the term narcissist till I meet this person. Now I am learning about narcissistic personality disorder.
I told a narcissist the only reason people who don’t like me is because I irritate their demons , she flipped out 😂 in real time 👍
Before you mentioned them, I was admiring your coat, your cigar, and your overall setup. So cool. God Bless the ones who just won't fall into line.
I finally understand... I have all these qualities. My ex narcissistic husband eliminated... My musical abilities by getting rid of everything to do with it. My creativeness that I displayed in my work environment, my artistic skills, my independence. I'm a very strong independent person. I proved it every single day in my working career in Jewellery Management. I studied in my 40ies to get a Batchelor Degree in Business Admin. My horse riding and love of horses.. He made me sell and rid from my life. Everything you've spoken about... My ex husband hated and illuminated from my life. I was very educated, very musical, did public speaking in Toastmasters. I can sing and play guitar. Both my kids were musical too, which he used to insult and knock their abilities, my kids were awesome swimmers, both my kids were independant that they were like me. The 3 of us are very independent. I know the 3 of ilus have deep empathy. My ex husband devalued and demeaned both my children. Both my children are highly intelligent... Highly intelligent. You have made everything come together... I finally understand why my ex husband hated the 3 of us so much.
Hi Kevin. My “Christian” family shamed me for smoking cigarettes and becoming a mental health professional, which they felt were against God. And then I found out that they were giving aid, comfort & succor to my highly abusive husband from whom I am estranged. When I had turned to that particular sister before her involvement in treachery against me- to ask for help getting out of my highly abusive (sickeningly so) marriage, she said, “It’s not possible to be abused by your spouse, because it’s your job to submit to anything your husband, the head of the household, deigns to do to/with/for/concerning or against you- and as a good wife you will honor him no matter what, while you also pray for him.” I am certain that God detests any kind of marital or other abuse. I left my abuser and my entire family has chosen to support him fully for the past 2 years. Now they are all as strangers to me. Thanks for your support & wisdom.❤❤❤
My malignant narc mother joined my malignant narc husband when she realized that he was running a smear campaign against me and they insidiously attacked me for a year and a half before I understood what was happening. By then it was too late and because of a despicable DHS report filled with lies, they managed to steal my son, my late in life gift, the 6th of my 6 children, the only minor still at home. They are still the best of friends! I started attempting to go no contact from them in 2013 but was not able to accomplish it until 2021. After 8 long years of psych wards, prison and near deadly rituals they used me in, against my will, my son is an adult and is home with me, we live together again! I'm so grateful God did not allow me to un alive myself! I became suicidal at age 4 after a brutal lashing that caused my first near-death experience and I lived from age 4 to age 50 mostly in suicidal ideation, but not every year, although those 8 years were a special kind of evil, different from the other bad years. I heard the same bullshit from my mother that you heard from your sister. The best thing we've ever done is claim a no contact life away from our captors. I'm sorry they did that to you. Life can be so hard, yeah? Well, good luck to you! I'm proud of you! Excellent work, my friend, going no contact! It's the only safe, wise thing to do.
Peace be with you!
PS. God is good! If it isn't good, it isn't from God! God permits evil in order that he may draw more good from it. It is not God's will that I be hurt by those closest to me, it is the will of those human beings, which is free after all. God did for me what I could not do for myself. I was legitimately beyond human aid but I did the hard work my whole adult life. God did for me what I could not do for myself. Everyday I ask God how I can be of service to my fellow man and I give back to life. I get paid by 76 but I work for God. I believe if I take care of God's kids, God takes care of me!
Thank you for this information . You just helped me to understand why they hate me in my family so much.
I will move on on and not look back
So glad I found your channel! Even though my mother passed away years ago, I still feel her narcissistic presence. I recall one episode when visiting my parent with my brother we discussed, for whatever reason, education. It was then that my Mother, who for years called me 'Goon Girl' (instead of my real name, Barbara) said in a strained high pitched voice for all to hear, "Oh yes, and Barbara went to Haaarvard... I looked at her and in a calm voice said, "Mom, you're the only mother in the world"...I saw her eyes soften and her lips turning to a smile. It was then, I finished what I had to say, "that isn't proud of her daughter putting herself through Harvard, getting a Master's degree with no help from anyone!" Wow, that felt great to say to her. She raged with anger...as expected. I learned to separate myself from her and didn't speak to her for 12 years, and it was a cousin who told me of her death at age 99. I hope she had learned in life that her child was, as you mentioned, an independent, creative, empathic, and assertive person but, I doubt it! Thanks for letting me rant a little...I'll leave a tip in the jar.
Yes indeed, when my narcissistic mother passed away, the best way I can describe it is that she felt like a "ghost limb", as if I had a limb amputated but it felt like it was still there. The exhausting vigilance we learned to have with a narcissistic mother is not easily soothed after their passing, but it is very normal. Grief over a narcissistic parent's death is a lot more complex than ordinary grief, especially since it can involve a sense of relief. I wish you all the best.
@@danielkaiser8971 You described the death of a narcissistic parent perfectly stating, she felt like a "ghost limb."
But, I can tell you that we’re proud of you!👏🏽👏🏽🙌🏽. That is a beautiful accomplishment!❤
I know what it’s like because my mother started working to keep me underemployed or unemployed, after I survived 8 years of trying to escape what the recession did to my life. The “ghost arm” is still very much alive in my younger sister, who my mother happily told me I might have to take abuse from. It has been exactly an abusive 2 years in probate now. But, it’s possible it is being resolved, as my sister may be going to jail.
@@privateprivate8366 What is it about a parent, especially a mother, who wants nothing but the worst outcomes in life for their children? We know it's Narcissism perhaps from their own insecurities and traumas in childhood. I'm glad you've learned to crawl out of that evil hole she put you in! Your sister is the same personality type as my youngest brother. He wanted nothing more than to get my other brother and I off the Will and with his lying skills, he did so! We are however, so glad to be free from evil and jealous family members...and so happy to have done so. I'm sure once you're through probate and receive what's justifiably yours, you too will feel that freedom! All the best, and thanks for the kudos! 🥰
It's a legitimate gripe rather that a "rant" imo. I can relate. I got myself through university then moved to the other side of the world (UK). I arrived in London in the 1990's with enough money for 2 nights of accommodation. Fast forward 10 years and I was a partner in a successful and high profile business, married and with my first child on the way. I took my mother on a tour of our offices which were impressive by anyone's standards. Her comment "Your sister works in a really nice office" Apart from the fact that she had never even been to my sisters place of work it simply wasn't the case. I think that is when the penny finally dropped for me. She wasn't just not proud of my achievements but was genuinely resentful of them.
It's been about 5 years of no contact for me now. Initially she stopped communicating when I told her I no longer had the means to financially support her and support my own family. I've now realised that that was a gift. I've had the odd random text message over the years which I haven't responded to but other than that, absolutely no contact. I'd like to say I am totally free of the lingering torment but I still have the occasional realization and recollection which makes me feel sick. In saying that I am much closer to being healed from years of her bs. Thanks for reading
They also hate genuinely authentic people.
I was a book illustrator who shared a literature prize,a wood sculptor and painted.He stopped it and made me scrub floors.Never again.
What?
My husband earned half $1 million in a corporate job.
I did literally everything else. And when I had a job I had two full-time jobs as well as a teenage son. An alcoholic perverted teenage son.
He suggested I get a job as a server in a restaurant over the summer, while he golfed with his new vacuous brain dead equally addicted entitled assholes.
He did this knowing I have a masters degree, have held high paid, high-level positions in the past, because he didn’t want me to pursue the things he’s kept me from the last 30 years, knowing I would be successful and it would be the final break away from him.
They are always and only thinking of themselves.
They are so envious
I swear you are describing my oldest sister when you talk about narcissists.
You do those things because that is who you are. This is how I am. I dig that..... I've lived my life the same way. Authenticity is a great thing.
Kevin, I'm very comfortable with your cigar and your fur coat. And your message really hits home!
Not a creative bone in their body…..so funny and true and made me laugh out loud! I don’t care about the cigar, I’m here for the insight. Thanks Kevin.
PS--I think that's Kevin being the authentic Kevin and that sort of perhaps even maybe another inadvertent truth drop about how we're not supposed to be "TRAPPED within their box."
@maryjowhite I completely agree! My ex gf claimed she was a creative, and she used to cook for a living like I did. But a few weeks after I walked away from her, I found out from a friend who was acquainted with her that 3wks before I was set to visit her(long distance relationship), ran into her at the supermarket. She was panicking b/c she didn't have any recipes to love bomb me with, and that she had to start practicing & experimenting so I wouldn't out do her, and so she could keep up with me since I wanted to cook meals together. At that point, She had already boaated to me about all the places she used to work at, and how she invemted all these amazing dishes. But when the time came to try her food, it was bland, and I could tell she wasn't comfortable in the kitchen. She over baked a few things including a cheesecake. I'll never forget the look on her face when she tried my food😆😆😆 In another conversation(after walking away)with the same friend, I found out that my ex had spent a majority of her career cooking in nursing/convalescent homes, not restaurants😆😆😆. I don't consider myself very accomplished in my former career as a cook, but I know I still out did her just by improvising without a recipe book, and I know she HATED that.
I also laughed at that. It is true. And I once mistakenly told my good friend that our now ex-friend the narc, didn't have a mean bone in her body. Holy crap was I wrong!
So true. They're a damn copycat. And they have the nerve to insult you
Spot On !
Sadly, the reason most family members tolerate the narcissist is they don't want to rock the boat.
So, the toxic relationship continues.
I'm already aware that I'm not very well liked by many people, including family members, which has taken me a while to accept, so I'm prepared for another dose of the truth! ❤
If you're accidentally pissing off people like those, you're probably doing something right. Uptight conformists (including those who PRETEND to be rebellious) can't stand people like me or you at certain times. It's better than being like THEM!
If you're accidentally pissing off people like those, you're probably doing something right. Uptight conformists (including those who PRETEND to be rebellious) can't stand people like me or you at certain times. It's better than being like THEM!
If you're accidentally pissing off people like those, you're probably doing something right. Uptight conformists (including those who PRETEND to be rebellious) can't stand people like me or you at certain times. It's better than being like THEM!
If you're accidentally pissing off people like those, you're probably doing something right. Uptight conformists (including those who PRETEND to be rebellious) can't stand people like me or you at certain times. It's better than being like THEM!
If you're accidentally pissing off people like those, you're probably doing something right. Uptight conformists (including those who PRETEND to be rebellious) can't stand people like me or you at certain times. It's better than being like THEM!
I really do believe narcissists are the types of people who will stay up at night thinking of who and how they will mess with people the next day.
the successful people the independent people the free spirited the pretty people people better than them in general
Sadly we learn every day how heartless folks have become the older they get
Absolutely true. However, they do love empathetic people when it serves them. Empaths will typically fall in line and are easily manipulated by them. Now being independent and an empath is a different story.
I've heard in an article that "selective empathy is worse than no empathy at all". If that is so, that means I'm a terrible person. Because I can't have empathy for a narcissist, or people who have other problems, or even just someone who has a horrible personality. Similarly, I won't allow myself to be vulnerable around them. Why should I, when I know I'd get hurt. That's what they want!
Narcissists crave attention. That's why I don't give it to them. I just ignore them. No, I can't say that I'm STARVING them. The narcissist can always find someone else to get their supply. But they still complain and devaluate and even enlist a third party, to force the one who won't give any supply to get into line!
@@trishawalsh7832Once the empath wakes up it's over for the narcissist. Crazy thing is they plotting behind your back with one of your enemies or more.
Oh boy, does that ever ring true. I was taken in by a covert narc, and bit by bit, I saw her victim act turn to an attention-seeking, self-centred, obnoxious and embarrassing person who just took over any space she was in, growing everyone else out, and spiteful as all heck in the end when me and a couple of friends united and stood up to her.
@@oceanelf2512 ❤️
This is great, and it explains my own experience with a sibling who is obviously jealous of my musical ability, and decries any thing I do, thank you so much.
There are plenty of narcs out there in the entertainment industry and the arts, so sometimes they are creative. The problem comes when they mix it up with other creative types because they're always afraid someone is better than they are and turn into total divas about it!
jenniferraymond,
Jezebel's
I know someone who is very talented and creative, but is also very critical of friends and family. This person is rude and acts as if they are superior to other people. Very creative with numerous narcissistic traits.... This person projects things he does onto other people, also. This person will say that others have no filter, and at same time will insult others because he blurts out insults and criticisms ....because he has no filter at all.
I"m a novelist, knew I was a writer even as a child, and my two-years-older sister (the narcissist) would try to even things up, as she put it once, by writing little newspaper columns that weren't actually creative but more -- to her credit -- reportive. But she was devastated when told they weren't creative!
They steal The ideas.
This Wise Man deserves a Medal, really.
Yes I was told that well " you're the only one who is crazy"! Poor poor messed up family!!!! I forgive them and will not go back, ever!!!
The scapegoat of a narcissistic family is usually the one who speaks the truth and whose head is the most level, reasonable and realistic, and whose behaviors and feelings are the most sincere and authentic. I am so glad they were not successful they couldn't extinguish your inner light.
Not going back either
I've followed a few trainers on narcissism, but you have nailed it, 100%. Now I see why the narcissist parent degraded my creativity, and made me work in her factory. That darkness almost killed me-- until i had the courage to get out
You are totally correct...It's all about Control. Narcissists always make it their mission to control, even silently envying the creativeness & interlect of others with deep feelings of inferiority.
Beside ur knowledge, I admire the dress code and the back ground!
U walk in ur healing!
I’m so proud of u Mr. Kevin - The Royal We!
Peace & blessings 2 u & ur family!❤
My narcissistic brother is also a counselor. I feel sorry for his clients!
Also, on the assertiveness point, one time when he and I were talking on the phone, he started badmouthing someone behind their back (his favorite pastime). In a civil tone, I told him we really shouldn't be gossipping. He called me an asshole and hung up the phone on me.
I've also noticed he doesn't feel comfortable around people who have a strong sense of self, who he can't rope in. He's very insecure!
That's sick. I think psychology does more damage than it helps.
@@cassiebennet4262 Yeah, I definitely agree!
I imagine how much harm and damage your brother does in a year. We got a narcissistic priest at our church but no one seems to understand that sth between vulnerable/righteous but he seemed to dislike me almost immediately, his eyes look dead to me, first I didnt understand why so much misunderstanding. Now that i see him like i see him snd he probably seems to get it. Luckily we have other good priests. But imagine how much harm he does with giving his counselling to vulnerable distressed people and distorts Gods intentions or whatever the direction he changes the peoples perspectives.
It certainly can be, if done by the wrong person! @@cassiebennet4262
That he is a counsellor is chilling.
My ex-friend, a covert narc, loves to gossip as well.
At first, I took it as her being extensively victimised and needing people to vent to as a means of support and healing.
But no.
She was in love with her exaggerated anger, and there were times she was less angry at things that would incense any empath, than things that only bruised her ego. That always disturbed me about her.
Yes it all makes sense I'm all 4 of those traits and I've copped shit for being truthfully 24:53
doing what I like being independent standing up for what I believe so true Kevin so I've broken so many contacts with people who don't get me but expect me to bend over backwards for them and then treat me like shit afterwards you are a godsend Kevin it all makes sense now
1. Creative people threaten narcs because narcs can only imitate, never create; creative people also think outside the box and are thus difficult to control long-term
2. Independent people bother narcs because Independent people won't submit to a lifestyle they didn't choose themselves (hard to control; he uses Star Wars to describe this and it is terrific)
3. Empathetic people are hated by narcs because narcs have zero empathy and they fear the vulnerability that comes with empathy
4. Assertive people (.... seems more like he means integrity and being honest since he says Assertive people say yes to mean yes, no to mean no, and the willingness to refuse to do something the narc wants if it you think it is wrong)
PS I love your fur. I live up north; and all Canadians, Scandinavians, and Russians know that fur is the best.
Thank you for recapping!🙏🌹
I LOVE that he’s being himself!!! Smoke it n wear that fur!
😂 create a door. Walk out of it and don't look back. Those people suck.
Wow! You’re on the Mark!!! I just broke up with my Narc. I Loved Him So much. But, he was a classic Narcissist. I think he knew it too. He thought I didn’t know. I’ve known since the get go. It felt like I was fighting with a jealous Woman. Always in competition with me. Always wanting to control. I allowed Him to think he was in control. But, he wasn’t. I was just patient with him. I Loved him that much. But, now it’s over. Time to LIVE!!! ♥️♥️♥️
Perfection Kevin. Love your video. You're spot on. They couldn't control me and I was hated for it. I was hated for having a sound mind that they tried to gaslight. Recording them put an end to that nonsense while standing grounded in reality. When I laughed they hated it. My creative side despised as I watched their failed attempts to mimic me. My kindness towards others made them sick and annoyed unless they were benefiting from it for themselves. My independence from them was a threat because that meant they couldn't control and manipulate me nor keep me in line like the others.They hate every good thing and they work overtime to steal and destroy it. Keep being your authentic self. That's what makes you special and unique. Stay blessed. 🤗❤💯
"they hate every good thing and they work overtime to destroy it"... That's because they are evil👿
Good discussion. I am all of the above, pretty much. Now I understand more. They also seem to hate anyone with any semblance of authentic leadership ability, fairness, appreciation for merit-based system..... Theirs is a bootlicking/backstabbing system of hierarchy, where knowledge/talent/ability is secondary.
Love this video Kevin. I think I am all these to a degree. Did not understand why I never did fit in my family. It was such a toxic system with me as the scapegoat. I'm a Christian, love God and the freedom of the gospel. All this has started to make sense over the last few months and I'm late 50's. What a revelation! I'm in the UK by the way. You have extensive reach. Be blessed and free!
Thank you...I enjoyed your talk...Ive got 💯 experience of what you are talking about...and the worst part, it's my own blood and flesh...3 of them😢so much so, that Ive been going for inner healing the past 2 years, being brainwashed for 40 years, what kind of person I am....only starting going back to the person I was 40 years ago, but its very difficult if you are the outcast of a fam of 4....realising now, Im the person that is the one who has all the characteristics you have been talking about....it is a very heartsore place to be...the outcast mother of 2 sons and their father.....however GOD lòks after me😢😢
All of that resoniated with me. Now i get whhy some people act as if they hate me. And why nothing i did could make them stop.
Good for you. It’s not about you but about them.
Your transparency and ‘ballsy way of living’ is teaching me how to get stronger myself!!! Trauma bonding has kept me held down inside the box even though I filed for divorce after 40 years of marriage, 44 years together! 💪🏼
I really like your cigar and your furr. Your message and talent comes from you Kevin.
You're preaching TRUTH brother!!!!!.
You are sooooo good Kevin. I am highly creative and my narc mom berated me for that my entire life. Unbelievable! I have never embraced my creativeness and thus have hated all my jobs! What insight! Wow. LOVE THE FIR AND CIGAR!
So dame true what you said. The bad thing is when you go no contact with these people we are hiding something. They love trying to heart me and my family spending rumors and lies about me. Words do heart. I do not wont anything to do with there circle of people. And they love to fish around to have some reason to come to me and my house. I just wish these people wood just stop and live me and my family alone.
obey obey obey obey the narcs mantra
Who ARE they🤣
@@x87u12they are🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
Oh my goodness!!! You nailed it!!! No wonder why narcs hate my husband and me…. And now knowing about narcissists and uncovering the ones in our families.. we are more determined to be: creative, empathetic, independent and assertive!
I love the way you roll. “Authentic” people for me. You nailed it on all 4 points my friend. Thank you 🕊💙
So this biggest thrill a typical narcissist can get is “taming” the independent. NOW, my wedding pictures have a dark side to them I cannot un-see.
I have ALL 4, & have experienced Narcissistic responses because of it everytime with various Narcissist throughout my life. I'm aware as well Kevin, but thank you for sharing this Video. I RESPECT YOU Man. Be Well..!!!
I love your creativity, Kevin. You are authentic, and what you are saying is liberating to me. I love the smell of cigars, and im Christian. Life is meant to be lived. After 40 years of attempting to live within their boxes and lanes, I have nearly been destroyed. I went mo contact back in October 2023. I attempted to try and make peace, especially before the holidays. Needless to say, it didn't go well. I'm building my new self. I'm a creative, impath, compassionate, and go with the flow. I'm not afraid to try new things. I have been independent since I could talk. I'm just starting back into my artwork. Always been crafty, but starting my painting and drawing journey. Wish me luck.
I love the smell of cigars too and today I bought a perfume that smell like cigarete smoke lol I bet someone will have something to say about that too lol😅
Got all 4!!! No wonder things have been the way they are. Thanks for this insight.
Lol!! I love that u take ur puffs, it makes me think I’m sitting there with u having a glass of wine😂😂😂😂hanging out
I beg to differ. Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes. Artists are not exempt. They do like to copy people but never rule out that there's one breed out there.....they're more creatively manipulative than most of us. That's an art within itself. I'm happy to be a step ahead and I'm well prepared how to deal with them.
I agree. I have been doing a housekeeping/Cleaning job for an elderly narcissistic woman. A very good artist, her art work is all around her home. No matter what i do for her its never good enough, She treats me Like dirt, humiliates and invalidates me, and often demands i go to her house at weekends because she cant stand being on her own (I have constantly denied her that demand though) She has no friends and her whole family have abandoned her. I'm getting out because she's affecting my mental health badly. I have to careful though because a couple of people who have known her tell me she's a horrible revengeful individual.
@@estherrivers6840 Never let fear take over. Let God take over and sit back and eat the popcorn.
Artists don’t copy.
I'm a combination of all of them. Now I know where all the rage and anger directed at me from my mother comes from. Thanks for your message.
Kevin you’re Spot ON! My Rebel came out when My narc enmeshed in-laws (the head matriarch mother with the 2 flying monkey daughters) decided to “drop by” my house one afternoon, intentionally ignoring me and only engaging with my husband and each other became unglued and disoriented when I decided to quietly light up a cigarette, crack open a beer and walk out the door without saying a word.
I cracked a beer pour s shot of tequila down it.
Went outside a lit a cigar 😊
I lit up a bong 😆 😮💨
They hate people that don't care to be painted the villain because that's how they control their targets who fear being painted in a negative light.
I’m an independent empath. It’s in my nature. I have enraged my share of toxic people all of my life.
You look amazing by the way! Thank you for all that you do! Continue to enjoy your life! 🙏
You made an excellent point about some mental health professionals being toxic. I have witnessed and experienced their toxic behavior myself. They have learned to fly under the radar with their cognitive empathy. They are dangerous and we must protect ourselves! Thanks for educating us and showing us how.
I love how bold you are-your style, the cigar, and the wisdom you share. Your message hits hard and speaks the truth.
All of this 💯. I lived this nightmare, I'm currently in the divorce process. Keep Sharing & how you dress and do on here isn't the critics business. Petty just like toxic Narcissist
This guy has got this 100% right, I am currently extracting myself from a toxic narcissistic relationship.
I wish you health - As someone in health care, I wish you goodness - long life with minimal suffering.
I hear that like the waiter or waitress profession, healthcare can be tough with some of your fellow employees
I never realized I qualified as all 4. No wonder he’s treated me so bad for 28 years. I’ve been trying to leave for years but now I’ve been on chemo for 7 years, and he has made sure that I’m completely trapped, no vehicle in my name, the house is in both our names, he refuses to let me leave. He’s so jealous of the attention I give to our kids and grandkids it’s disgusting. Maybe I’ll have better luck in my next life
I’m guessing you being on chemo has most likely been caused by him through all the emotional distress. Once you escape from these people your health gets better, you heal. If you can get out, with the help of a professional, do it now 🙏
The “look” is a creative way to get attention, make a statement. Cheers!!
YOU GO BOY🎉🎉 THANK YOU SO MUCH with this,,,,, I put it way up!!!!! when my narcissist family member was trying to hear what I was doing, boy she thinks I'm supposed to bow down, I really needed to hear this you made me feel so much better thank u
Kevin your content has really grown. I enjoy your channel so much more now. You seem to have relaxed into your story and sharing. Thanks for the healing journey from someone who has been there done that- got the T-shirt!
Wow you are so on point about how they handle empathy shown to them when they are upset.
Riveting truths. I appreciate your authenticity.
Thank you for this video. I've been dealing with a narcissistic boss for a while and the information you presented has helped me process the experience and understand. 💛