The narcissist hate real people 2. hate brave people 3.hate independent visionary people 4.hate hate truth Tellers 5. hate Happy people 6.hate vulnerable people who express themselves 7.Last hate creative people connection with self Thank you for clarifying these miserable minions
@@walkingrace1233 , I have one of those. I see them looking at me and thinking why is she happy when i'm trying my hardest to make her unhappy. I know exactly what you mean. Stay happy.
One of my close relative have all you mentioned esp.the last one. I realized that she started copying my things and applying to her self, saying all of her relatives look up to her, that she is the mother of their family and so on. The truth of the matter is her own sisters hates her and they even don’t talk to her for 3 years and more every so often.Thanks for your excellent videos and awareness. I started incorporating the tricks you told me in previous videos, and it is helping. Also man’s are not the only Narsacist. In our case it’s the woman who have separated our family b/c of her distorted un happy personality. We are learning.
If you're being targeted by narcs and flying monkeys, you're probably doing many things right or positive that triggers their jealousy and insecurity. Stay true to yourself and continue to shine bright.
I can tell you: Strong people with strong character. Independent people who can perfectly live alone. People who set boundaries and say no and people who hold them responsible for their wrong-doings. Narcissists don´t like if someone goes against them - and are more capable than them. They have to be over you - not under... Narcissists love slaves and yes-sayers.
Boy, he chose the right woman to hate. When we met I was happy, full of creativity and started two businesses on my own. Which is to say I was self confident. I was in the best shape of my life and felt great. I know that I don’t have to tell you how much I have changed, but I was able to keep part of me intact. They do too much. Honestly I have never met a more hateful and vindictive person in all my 51 years!
@NadiaHarris-ft7di hi there. Self love is the absolute key. This is where I'm at in counseling which is awesome. I'm nearly 74yrs btw, it's never too late to escape the fog and dream your creativity into reality. They are actually nothing.
@angelarigido7161 Don't let that pathetic narc you win. You are stronger and smarter than he will ever be. They are not happy people! Think of yourself as the lucky one who got away!!! He will always be on the hunt for supply!! Remember that.
I saw through the mask of her...a smirk, a flash of anger, the malevolent stare, her words are contradictory and she lied without blinking...and so I told myself to be careful of her.
They also hate people that are disabled and in need of compassion or understanding. I remember the way my ex would get exasperated on the bus and angrily ask ‘why don’t they just stay home ?! Especially when he had to wait because someone needed time. He would get angry with me if I gave my seat up to someone who needed it more. Your videos are very informative breaking their behaviors down. I am three years out of that devastating relationship and have become so allergic to Narcissists that I have identified the ones around me. My Mother is one as well and she broke off contact because of my refusal to be her marionette. Thank you for helping us be aware and wise to their toxic behavior.
And Helpers.. he used to mock me and call me Mother Theresa. I actually am ashamed to admit it but curbed that reflex when he was around. For anyone contemplating breaking it off with a narcissist know that it is a sweet relief to rediscover your true self and reset your priorities. The craving is nothing more than an addiction to a fantasy and chemical cocktail they are so adept at creating in your brain. I shut him out. He still tries to make contact. He sent me three cards before, during and after the holidays inviting me to visit. I ignored them but after the third card I got exasperated and found a bereavement card with the saying ‘ We always have our memories’ and in front of that sentiment I wrote the word ‘sadly’ and then quickly vented why I so thoroughly am done with him. Now he just occasionally calls me at work to hear me answer the phone but does not say anything. Once you get perspective even the best of times are hollow when you understand that they are just a Golem with no real ability to do anyone good.
I do resonate with the examples. Everything about me, independent, creative, love plants, happy, and able to express my emotions. I’m the black sheep of my entire family, friends have distanced themselves too. I keep healing each day.
I'm alone now because I refuse to be my 3 sibling's doormat. I'm very strong and have strong boundaries. I'm told I'm very cold, and I respond by saying I take that as a compliment. 😊
I'm the Truth Teller!!! And the older I get (after going no contact with ALL of those people many years ago,) the more I refuse to stay quiet about my thoughts, feelings, and any injustices/disagreements/resentments! I was raised to never speak up, always keep everything inside, and not to "rock the boat." As an independent, confident, and self-secure adult...I have NO problem rocking that boat! Hell, knock the damn boat upside down if you have to! Speak up, stand up for yourself and others, and don't let those feelings fester silently inside of you!!! Knock that boat over!!! ❤❤❤ I was born with a warrior spirit...born with that bravery and courage that narcissists hate so much! Born to break away from that toxic, narcissistic family cult, full of soulless demons...and break the generational cycle of abuse for my own children! I remember, growing up, that anytime my "mother" saw me happy...she would immediately do or say something so horrible and nasty, that it would instantly turn my happiness into tears. I swear that woman has been on a campaign to try to get me to unalive myself since I was only 10 years old! But I won! I never thought I would make it to 18, but here I am, almost 40 years old! 🎉
Same here Sweetie 😢 my mom had me in tears my whole entire life 😢 only time ⏲️ she was LITERALLY HAPPY WAS HOLIDAYS 😮 , sounds stupid or crazy but the TRUTH 😅
7:02 💯. They hate people who are content with their life or are happy despite their circumstances. They try to ruin their small joys of life and make them feel horrible about their life.
I am a singer songwriter. A creative. I was attracted to narcissists....and they are attracted to me...because it's like I am a juicy piece of fruit ripe for stealing from. If i write songs, they want to steal them. If I take time to relax around them, they try to steal my peace by coming and asking a million questions and getting into my business. The love bombing happens then they immediately go to someone else, sometimes in the same night. I refuse to sleep with them. And that pisses them off even more.
Strange How They Can't Live without People because they Need Enablers around them and those to Use and misuses yet they can Never ever manage to hold onto relationships.. unlike us Empaths..we Don't have We Don't Need people but we are magnets an most of us prefer our own company unlike them cowards and can't live without someone to use
@@amorl4520 There are dangerous people out there that are best to stay away from for sure... But to act like everyone who displays narcissistic behavior is some sort blood sucking demon who doesn't deserve love or healing is slightly over dramatic. Things are never that black and white.
Everything you've said is true! Im a very creative person. Bit by bit i pick up my things. Steal is exactly what those do. Every idea of someone else they steal. Joy stealing the worst. Thanks Dainish 🙏🏼❤
I saw through his facade very early after meeting him. I am an independent, visionary, truthful and am very much aware of my emotions. When he would go off on some sort of tangent of lies, grandiosity, non-sense, anger, I would calmly say ....God knows your heart. He's a Christian, as am I. This seemed to stop him in his tracks for a brief moment. Thankfully he's gone now and probably has hatred for me. Not sure. But for me, I chose peace, love, joy and happiness. This is how I live my life and am doing well. There are all kinds of people in the world. When I see through them, even if I don't know them, and some with narcissistic traits or hatred or being nasty, I just think to myself, .thankfully...God knows your heart.
Thank you! You are so right on! They hate themselves and hate me for being joyfyl, positive, happy and creative. They are mean, nasty, rude and want to take everything you have especially your joy for life. Gotta get out of that place asap.
TRUTH! Thank you, Danish, for validating the journey that all black sheep face and for sharing your wisdom. Standing up to toxic narcissists & looking into into their black eyes takes guts! My N-FOO has brought me to my knees, gutted me, and aged me at twice the rate. And I thank God for giving me the strength the day I finally broke free & ran away for the sake of my dogs & me. I still experience grief & tears some days, but I keep moving forward as I continue to heal from trauma & rebuild my life... and find peace in nature, music, and the woods.
I'm a combination of those type of people that narcissistic people hate and my mom is the narcissist that has been putting my daughter and I through hell or at least trying and we have taken your tips and hints and she is reacting exactly how you said. Thank you and you are awesome and very understanding and we are grateful for all of your help.
My ex’s first wife tried to warn me about him, as I told her now I understand and didn’t see any of this coming. Years later I can finally see him clearly, and I don’t have any clouds in my head anymore now that we aren’t together. Thank you Danish for what you say, how you say it, and your journey. I feel like you’ve given my story with this person a voice in a way I don’t think I would have ever understood fully if you weren’t here. Everything you’ve shared I’ve experienced with him. Trying not to feel guilty anymore and give myself permission to let go of it about the time I responded to it all unfavorably that one time I was cornered by him and he wouldn’t stop. This stuff is just mind blowing that someone who would just behave like this and think nothing of it. Understanding it all now helps yes, but the kids don’t deserve to suffer too.
The worst thing I've witnessed from narcissistic people is them getting to a great job position and then making people feel less than them. And with their job position they attract new supply everywhere making the discard easier so it leaves the regular people feeling used, betrayed and a sense of not being good enough to be friends with. One said to me "I'm just at a different place in life" while continuing to do the same thing they were doing when they turned 21- 10 years later.
Spot on!!!! I bought my house 2 decades ago as a single mother. I taught myself how to do plumbing, painting, Woodwork, etc. My current Narc husband lives in my house. I discovered very bad wood rot under my slider where the deck Frame attached to the house. I showed him the rot and said I have to get the frame off the rotted ledger board and hope it does not rot out the sill. I immediately started the job and cut off what I needed to see how far the damage was. I saw that years ago the man who built my deck never used a ledger board / waterproof membrane/flashing ect to protect the house. Because the deck was lagged to the original exterior wood siding of the house it completely rotted it all away. Luckily my house was built well 90 years ago and had 6 layers of 2×6/8. Had only damage to a few. I had to be creative to make the deck free-standing. I did not want it lagged to the house. Holy Crap!!!! My narc husband got red in the face and red eyeballs red he saw what I did to my deck. He said he didn't understand woodwork and said I thought I was a Carpenter! He questioned and put down what tool I used for cutting! Yelling He would have used a chainsaw!! He called my father and said I ruined the deck and thought I was a genius like my son who lives in Indiana!! Wtf!?! ( He likes my son a lot )I have worked for 2 decades with my father on my house doing woodwork. I have tons of tools !! My father said I knew what I was doing! He brought in my son and insulted my father's grandson who has zero to do with the deck!!!! Why? Because my son went to College!! He hates people who went to college!! My narc husband hates me deep down because I have confidence and guts to at try to fix something! I catch him talking about me to himself on our security camera clips! This a.m he said "Get your head out of your A-hole. I created a shitshow with my deck!! He dont know I see these clips! I walked in his garage 24×24 I stained /painted /framed interior windows ect and he acts normal in a good mood "Good morning " I say F you under breath so many times a day. He wants me to make myself stupid and small so he can be tall! Little fragile insecure man with a fragile ego. I told him just that! Funny he knew I ripped out my kitchen and put a new one in by myself. Also, ripped up carpet and restored my hardwood floor. Not like I never did this stuff before!! He never said "I am sorry" in 16 years ! My Dad saw my deck today and told my Narc husband I know what I am doing!
That sounds like a construction issue. You know what you are in. If you go No Contact with them, you will see even more abuse you had been tolerating while there, coping with their stuff. The under the breath stuff is a coping skill and a sign to get away to safely heal and move on.
Curious why understanding construction and using tools makes a woman (or a man, for that matter) masculine. I'm a slim, feminine woman and I love building things with my hands. I've worked side by side with my husband rehabbing houses for over 20 years - painting, wall papering, demoing walls, building walls, installing tile, flooring, siding, toilets and sinks and much more. The only thing I don't do is electrical. I'm not qualified and don't want to be. My hubs is quite proud of my skills.
I loved people and love to help anybody who needs help ,loved to bring joy on their faces i hated sadness and feeling that nobody cares untill bad things happened and it changed my life forever
People with attention deficit or adhd. It upsets their status quo because our minds are going off in multiple directions at once, seeing things from all angles, which doesn't comply with their one-way-only need for control - their way. We confuse the hell out of them!
Are you saying people with adhd can be highly narcissistic? The experience I had with someone who has hurt me sooo much emotionally had adhd. I'm still hurt..they discarded me nastily, passive aggressively & angrily then when I asked to chat, she kept running away. It was horrible..mind games, insidious. Then i confronted her...very nicely- she denied everything!
Ask God and He will help you if you want to heal, but it is an arduous process and it takes time and awareness (like watching these videos to figure out that it is really happening and that you are not the crazy one) and lots of inner work. narcs are evil and embrace darkness. they are full of hate and are angry so........they are ugly. the best thing of course, is to get out asap. but it isn't always easy because often we become trapped due to not knowing anything was happening at the time. I was raised by a narc, my mother, and I was told I was wrong for everything I did, for being happy or for feeling confident. I was told it was, "ego" and the message was, "you are wrong" for being beautiful and so I had no idea I was. I always hated myself due to feeling like "I was the problem" since I was not allowed to receive anything from her. "my fault" because I was told I was "bad" and "wrong" for having needs or wanting anything. I believe that this was done so it would seem like it was my fault I didn't get anything - not that she was a psycho sadistic jealous b*tch. I would back off and shut down and not bother my mother with "my needs" because I was told I didn't get anything because I was "bad". this way it became "my fault". I finally figured that out but for years I blamed myself like she did. the truth is is that they secretly do get pleasure out of your pain. I did see my mother smiling once when I was grieving the loss of my child, I looked up as I was bawling my eyes out and she was absolutely smiling an evil smile. a chill went thru me when I saw her satisfaction. I never said anything because I had no idea she was sadistic because she would always pretend to my face that I "was her favorite" to cover for what she was actually doing behind my back. I have a litany of things people told me she was telling them, even going to the police and trying to file charges against me that her husband was guilty of and that she was enabling him to do *child molesting.......decades of it. I swear. the police told me they figured she had a problem and let me go. but she tried. narcs are insane really and do not care one iota about you at all, despite their pretending to be "nice". whenever they do anything "nice" it is fake and to set you up to believe they are "on your side" so you will be disarmed and disclose things about yourself and leave yourself open. *don't fall for it. it's merely a ploy. they will copy you, they want to be you, they are competitive and jealous and they are not human in the sense of actually caring, but always thinking how they can outsmart you to take advantage and to get what they want. when you know about narcs, you can stay a step ahead and plan for this. it is what I do as I am eradicating my programming of having been raised by a narc who seriously hated me due to her extreme jealousy. that was my mother. so now I daily spend time unraveling this "curse" which is having been conditioned to believe that I was "bad" and that it wasn't her, but "my fault" because I was so "undeserving", when in actuality, she just didn't want to be bothered to care for anyone, not a baby, not a child, not you, not me, never loved anyone but only figuring out how much she could take and steal from others. or to eradicate you and your goodness. but to take what you have, be it your husband, your boyfriend, your inheritance, your beingness and all the while, "pretending to be good"............but narcs are evil, truly. God is the answer to any and all evil but we have to become aware and it is left to us to undo and eradicate the past negative programming. we have to take back our power and know that we actually do deserve to be and to have in LIFE and that we do deserve to be happy. and that we are powerful and that we don't need them. and as soon as you can - heal and leave. apologies for the lengthy response to the video.....I am going thru it and I appreciate being able to vent it. God bless all to heal, thanks Danish. spot on, as usual.
Your story is so similar to mine. I am going through it too, being patient until I can move out of my mother's home. Thank you for writing this. It helped me to see, that I am not alone. I pray for your healing. Thank you for sharing. ❤
Number 5 is my killer... I live now like a roommate in our inherited house with my brother. I feel the joylessness. Looking at the sky the other night I was in awe and started to feel happy. Immediately I felt something squelching that and started feeling guilty (like it's not permitted) to be happy! WHAT THE HELL
I have no words after listening to this. I just can see all the answers to the questions I was always making to myself. It's just as real as it is. A living nightmare. This is one transparent specific description of how exactly happens. And sadly I know how it feels to receive all that poison directly from my soul.
omg... I always asked why he hated me so much.. deep seething hatred... "what did I ever do that was sooo wrong for you to despise me so much ? " Now, this makes total sense. tools that I wish I had back then - to protect/save my sovereignty , AND sanity.
I used to ask my sister why she hated me so badly and now I understand. I was a good sister to her. I asked her to tell me just one time just name one time I was ever mean or disrespectful to you and of course she couldn’t name even one time. I worshiped her. She was my older, beautiful sister yet she terrorized and tortured me the entire time I knew her until I severed all ties. They are evil monsters. They destroy everything they touch. Anything that catches their eye they have to destroy through the smear campaign. They are such evil people. It’s so sad because we loved them. Their karma will be brutal and that will break our hearts. Everyone loses. Us and them.
I wish i knew this 8 yrs ago. My sister drove me crazy. I had nervous break down and all i remember is a smirk on her face.I couldn't figure out why she hates me. Now i know.
When I read your post I thought, did I write that. My older sister hated me from the time I was born. There was only the two of us so when I came along some of the attention came off her. A spirit of jealousy and envy came into her, when she wouldn't stop her nasty thoughts. So today she's a full-grown narcissist in her 70s. I went no contact for about 7 years then I decided to write text her, I told her there was some demons there, and I gave her a spirit-filled church where she lives. But I'm done talking. Now it's up to the Holy Spirit to draw her. Just remember they persecuted Jesus, and they're going to persecute us the same way, smile cuz God's loving smile is upon you
I am creative: I write poems, painting, and making jewelry. I used these to express traumas I experienced. My creativity came better after what I lived with my ex, I am also vulnerable and yes, he was telling exactly that I am too sensitive, I am overreacting. And I tell the true and hate injustice.
I am the happy one. Always made the best of the worst. It drove him crazy. He could not understand why I was still happy under the circomstances he created. I was also creative enough to find a way to keep my positive way to look at live.I loved coocking and my garden. I made my own clothes and knitted my sweaters. Always looked for doing things I loved. I was convinced that one day, all would change, and my life would get better. It did, but only after the divorce.
I’m an artist, poet, writer and I’m a painter. I’ve shown him my painted rocks & shells bc I know it annoys him. I find his reactions quite funny now. I shouldn’t do that bc on the other hand I’m not the kind of person to purposely annoy anyone! See narc’s do this to us! Yes I fell into mirroring him and it doesn’t effect him one bit. I just wanted to share that with you. In fact, in my last comment told you I’m divorcing him and these nutty behaviors won’t be a part of my life any longer! Thank God! I was frozen for 1year until I recently woke up from it! I am talking to my brain & I validate myself out loud & I have a weekly therapy appt. On to a better life w/o narcissism! T gets easier every day and you strengthen me too! I appreciate you Danish!
You are only trying to cope with an unreasonable person. You aren't being like them. They are heartless. And, their behaviors stem from heartlessness. As a homemaker and primary caregiver for my sister and myself, my mother would do an absolute TON for my dad , but it was never good enough. So.... she would intentionally stay way behind on the laundry and keeping the kitchen clean just to feel like she was taking some of her power back. And, that was just the beginning of the unhealthy way she dealt with a situation that was beyond her ability to cope. And, I don't blame her one bit. Her emotional problems and scars were painful to deal with. But, that was nothing (in a way) to the destructive power of my evil minded father and flying monkey of a sister. If the worst you do to a narc is annoy him with your abilities. Don't worry about it (unless you see it as a threat to your safety). I think it's funny. And, he probably deserves it.
I am a mere shadow of what I used to be as far as being literally seen or heard. I used to be somewhat confident with myself. I used to be able to speak and be articulate when doing so. I used to do and be so much more then, but not anymore. And just like you said in a different video, I DO ask God What did I do to deserve the existence that I am enduring ? I say existence because this is not a life. My cats are the only ones that know the real me. The human buried deep inside that is not allowed out when I leave my room. With them I laugh, I cry, I talk, they listen. They have no clue what I’m saying, unless it’s No, stop, get down, that’s not the kitty box, their names, I love you, time to go nigh, nigh. Then when I go out of my room it’s back to no visible emotion, no words. Just do what I gotta do and go back to my room. If I’m outside doing my yardwork and I hear his truck I beat feet back into the house, into my room so as to avoid any kind of interaction with him. It’s hard to believe that I used to get that feeling of the little hearts floating around my head when he came home. Now it’s like a rock in the pit of my stomach and the anxious thoughts swimming around inside my head. He doesn’t get physical anymore. I’m not scared of him for myself anymore in that way. I do worry about what cats I have left outside. He’s made threats and made those threats reality. I mostly avoid him because I don’t want to hear his voice anymore. His lies. His excuses. His tyraids. I apologize for this being so long. I don’t really have anyone to talk to so when I start typing it kind of like the proverbial flood gates opening.
When I finally saw my elder siblings for what and who they are. I was ghosted by all of them. My parents past away and they stole everything. But I'm finally free of them. Freedom hasn't come easy
Thanks so much. You have an amazing grasp of the disorder and talent for explaining it. I have all those traits you mentioned. Every one. This explains why when I became care free, practicing stand up comedy and doing art projects, so many bad behaviors were triggered. I couldn't understand why.... Why does my mother sneer when I tell her about experiences that bring me joy? Why does she scoff when I have to share a problem or difficulty? Why did she get so upset when I cried over my father's death bed, trying to hug him one last time? My God, she was repulsed by it, absolutely disgusted. When I was younger, and showed her my drawings, she would ask "what's it supposed to be?" Not abstract art, the most insulting thing you could say to an artist. Why would she and my father never want to talk about my admission of failures and what I was doing to correct them? Why? Well now I know. And so do YOU if you watched the video. I'm so grateful I found Danish on here. My mother would absolutely hate you on site, and after hearing you don't have an American or Canadian accent. She would pretend like she couldn't understand you even though your English is perfect. ❤
Narcissist dysfunctional behavior cannot be truly exhausted. When I met my ex he was always asking my mother what she ate when she was pregnant of me because I was unstoppable enthusiastic, dynamic, intelligent, truthful, focused and happy. He was always envious because he never accomplished anything in his entire existence. His set goals were never achieved.
So , So true, I experienced a lot of bullying since grade school because of. My personality even buy my older brother and my sister, I am the youngest in a family of nine , It was tough growing up , I am now 67 a retired Producer / Director , DJ , Voice over artist , and a 3rd degree belt in Shorinrue , Taekwondo , Chundoquan ...
Everything you said is absolutely true. Thank you. Your channel is a blessing. I hope you feel blessed. I pray for our souls to have peace. 🌹 And may peace be ours always. 🙏 More and more peace. 🙏
Wow such a brilliant video. So spot on. Thank you Danish, not only are you at the top of your game but you are such an authentic, genuine, kind and empathic person with integrity and great force from your intelligence. You restore my faith in humanity
OMy, 😕 I consider myself an artist. And our daughter also. He Did always say he envied our artistic ability . I'm speechless at the moment. That's haunting. Thank you for your video💜
Thank you for all your podcasts. After 17 years, I’ve come to realize the destruction to me being married to such an individual. I’m a creative, strong and independent woman who is now trying to live and enjoy life. I pray for enlightenment and strength to move forward. Thank you for your insights.
No joke I literally chuckled out loud at the first thing he said: "narcissists hate people in general..." for some reason that just made me laugh as I instantly pictured my suspected narc family member in my mind. And he said it so seriously. I guess it was funny because it is the understatement of the year! I was ready for some profound insights and instead got "they hate people in general"😂.... but then I went on to watch the rest of the video and indeed got those profound insights I was looking for. Great video!
I seem to attract narcissists (not romantic type) into my life who are jealous and angered by my independence and creativity. They cannot control me because i have a mind of my own, am very self determined and good at making my own decisions, very intuitive too...and they also dont like that I am creative and visionary because maybe they feel less than? Like how they distract themselves in their workaholic lifestyles or never want to be home and always "out there" to get away from themselves, they are threatened by those who are happy to go within, happy in their own company, happy to reflect, read, paint, write, create...all these things take self reflection, self awareness, thinking outside the box, what if questioning etc. I would be interested if you have not covered it already, but a topic on narcissists and creativity - I don't personally find them to be very creative but I do find them to be jealous of other artists and I have also seen them steal from other artists or try and sabotage someone's artistic work.
I have literally experienced every one that you mentioned ... with my wife and also my mother. Thanks for talking about these topics that I didn't understand until they were pointed out.
Creativity!! When I made a commitment to Christ my powers of creativity began to bud and blossom.The demons,fallen angels,are insanely jealous.Pray for repentance.🙏💔💪💯
What's so tragic is them not being themselves. My sister copies and tries to sabotage ideas. She's in her 60s and has wasted many decades watching me, competing, comparing with me, lying and stealing. So glad for your site.
I,m a Truth teller and I wonder how I ended up with narcissist,at the beginning I used to tell him that his mother didn't raise him well that why he don't respect women,he used to tell me stories and I didn't want to hear them
Everything you say is so true! Thank you for confirming and validating my experience, thoughts and emotions. This is exactly my experience. Everything you said. Thank you so much
Oh you nailed it again Danish!!! If they can’t have it then they will destroy it, cars, homes, family heirlooms, and any other possessions that are important to you they will steal from you in a heartbeat also BEWARE people especially Empathetic ones of us we seem to attract them like magnets ❤️❤️❤️to all 🌹🐈🐈🧛♀️
My gosh … this is absolutely bang on! I cannot say how correctly you have described the amazing qualities that all narcissists hate to their core. And they are ready to do anything , lie, steal or fool you ( the target) to get the life and these qualities into them. They steal them one by one , without any shame or remorse . My only big question is - after going through narcissistic abuse , how does one reintegrate one’s suppressed sides?
Regarding your question, try finding Tim Fletcher on RUclips. He has amazing, detailed videos and teaching on Complex Trauma. He’s very gifted in this area and covers the gambit on the topic in very easy step by step explanation on what happens to someone who has gone through abuse. He and his team have so many videos that you’ll also find yourself binge watching as they are light bulb moments on how our brains adapted to the shame associated with being abused. He discusses dissociative behavior like what happened to you and says you have to “teach yourself how to feel your emotions”.. check him out when you can.
Thank you good man! It really helps to be reminded of these. My own internal veils covering my abuse are falling away each day. Currently in therapy and going through EMDR. Its hard going back there and even harder dealing with what comes out after, but, despite the pain and emotions of torture, it is for "My greater good" Thank you again for helping me and everyone else who is lucky enough to find you! Continued success in Being you Danish ❤🎉✨👊
Hi Danish, As a someone who has grown up with a covert narcissist mother your videos really hit the nail on the head with your observations. I would love it if you could do a video on how adult children of narcissistic parents can manage the situation in a south asian cultural context because as you must know "walking away" is not a possibility. Even if you can live separately many times the responsibility both financial & otherwise is still expected to be borne by the child. This is so hardcoded into our DNA as south asians its crazy. Your perspective will be much appreciated. Thank you!
Im actually all 7 so I must REALLY be hated behind the scenes and sometimes in front of the scenes onstage. It took many years after leaving home to feel free and become happy inside and love myself. (Love your neighbor as yourself cant be done until you love yourself!) I had to move in with my brother in parents house and I feel like its similar to early life again, with him being similar to father, but father I believe had more integrity. I stalled returning and cried because I knew what was waiting, and here I finally am.
Nothing could be truer. Recent events that have been painful are enlightened by these ideas. Any truth that takes away my pain for a moment is embraced by me.
You are really knowledgeable about these annoying narcissists . I continually study this because there are sooooo many of them Another word for them is miserable F's
Almost all of them Still, at age 64 I am only starting over again I still hypervigilan, hypersensitive, very reactive, and I have HUGE trust issues even with myself. Thank you, Danish
Wow, wow, wow! I needed to hear this. What great information to receive. I'm getting ready to go NC and this jwas really helpful to me. Thank you so much. Your videos really speak to me!
A common thread I have seen and experienced with hostile narcisstic female bosses is that they ALL hated their mother and had never resolved that relationship all the way into adulthood. Therefore, there seemed to be a lot of projecting as it didn't take much for them to get triggered. Those 7 attributes you described triggers them!
He asked me why I always found fault in him and I told him his behaviour is what makes me hold him accountable for his actions. He gave me uti and didn't want me questioning him about it and when I did, he denied it because deep down they're stray dogs and he was the only person I slept with
Amazing!!!!! You are so Good Danish!!!! Truely this is the case w/ me… over and over and over I tried to Self soothe by trying to better y self and overlook and just be quiet… and continue in my joyful fun personality creating unique programs and enjoying loving people. He just got worse…. More mean… more indignant… more accusatory, and I became Scared, but tried not to show it. I would go to my knees and just pray soooo hard! Then God would give me strength to “go forward, be yourself!” It just got worse… I have been the Targeted black sheep wife from his cult family. When I exposed them all to my husband…. He exploded that I was the big problem… then abuse me and DISCARDED ME… like a piece of trash, after 26 years 12:50 of marriage!
Creativity: Which is why they get so angry when you gray rock them or cut them off. They cant mirror you. Also, they cut you off if you dont share ideas bc they want you just to make them look good. Experiencing this now😔
Everything you said on the video is (1000) percent true. I have experienced this with my mother. Everything you said, I went through all of it. Sad but true 👍🏾.
They hate boundaries and people who don’t care about the drama they seem to create around any situation But, from an spiritual perspective a so called narcissist is brought to you so you can grow as well In my heart I have thanked them for the lesson and feel proud for being stronger thanks to them Of course, I think is that internal attitude that translates into all what you do-that they hate the most My deepest compassion to them because their life is a prison and they alienated anyone who could support them to get out of it
My mother and everyone in her family Hated me. Now I take their hatred as a compliment. I found more peace and acceptance of myself after learning of that Narcissistic family. I now understand I didn't deserve the hatred that was heaped on me all of those times.
I am a writer. Soon after I started my career my husband began to devaluating me on completely different things and when I had my first success he discarded me for new supply. Because he said all the time how great it was that I was writing it really took me by surprise.
An F B I Agent stalking my life has been trying to interfere with my progress and has been trying to harm my right to make a living because he's Narcissistic. These attacks had hurt my life in such a way that I'm still trying to secure the right type of Counsel to deal with all areas of it legally since the guy had no place in my life whatsoever to be following and targeting me for over 11 years trying to steal and profit from my on-line business.
Wow.... I am all these things. I started off my relationship with my ex bold and vibrant, creative and wonderful. I always had it in my head not to be with anyone who would take these characteristics away from me.... Yet somehow overtime he did. It was an uphill battle when i realized i was no longer myself, i did everything in my power to reclaim myself *except* for leave him, i didnt know it was him doing it to me. The more of myself I reclaimed, the further away he got. The happier and more independent i became, the more standoffish and distant he was. By the time i was finally feeling like myself, i got discarded hard and fast. Thrown out like the trash. But because i finally felt like myself i knew it wasnt a "me" thing anymore
This video comes in time.. your content is so helpful. I have been sharing your videos to soo many so people become aware of narcissism. I have too many flying monkeys around. 🐒 😅 On a serious note this is difficult to deal with. Please do pray for me.
I am all of those things. No wonder I attract narcissists like moths to a flame. In fact I've experienced everything you described that narcs do to people who are authentic, honest, creative, etc. I could tell you stories about these evil people that would turn your hair white mid sentence. Yikes!
I have been putting up with his behavior for more than 30 years. My husband, the narcissist, hates me. Once I figured that out, his traits became more obvious to me. I don’t know how I can escape this abuse. 😢
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
The narcissist hate real people 2. hate brave people 3.hate independent visionary people 4.hate hate truth Tellers 5. hate Happy people 6.hate vulnerable people who express themselves 7.Last hate creative people connection with self Thank you for clarifying these miserable minions
At different times, I'm all those things. No wonder I'm always either defending myself or defending others from these monsters
Sometimes while at work my boss would say to me with hostility, "What are you so happy about?"
@@walkingrace1233 , I have one of those. I see them looking at me and thinking why is she happy when i'm trying my hardest to make her unhappy. I know exactly what you mean. Stay happy.
One of my close relative have all you mentioned esp.the last one. I realized that she started copying my things and applying to her self, saying all of her relatives look up to her, that she is the mother of their family and so on. The truth of the matter is her own sisters hates her and they even don’t talk to her for 3 years and more every so often.Thanks for your excellent videos and awareness. I started incorporating the tricks you told me in previous videos, and it is helping. Also man’s are not the only Narsacist. In our case it’s the woman who have separated our family b/c of her distorted un happy personality. We are learning.
The creepy and demonic and monster look on their face when they see you happy and expressing it says it all....
If you're being targeted by narcs and flying monkeys, you're probably doing many things right or positive that triggers their jealousy and insecurity. Stay true to yourself and continue to shine bright.
yes, and get away from them if its too much
I knew that this list would include happy people, creative people, and honest people.
That's why my "mother" hates me😂
Authenticity. They don't have that.
@@user-o6ue45hz8nr2ap- yup, right there w/you and it’s also why my ex hates me. Being no contact w/him is bliss, gray rocking her works for me.
That is true.@@user-o6ue45hz8nr2ap
I can tell you: Strong people with strong character. Independent people who can perfectly live alone. People who set boundaries and say no and people who hold them responsible for their wrong-doings. Narcissists don´t like if someone goes against them - and are more capable than them. They have to be over you - not under... Narcissists love slaves and yes-sayers.
Boy, he chose the right woman to hate. When we met I was happy, full of creativity and started two businesses on my own. Which is to say I was self confident. I was in the best shape of my life and felt great. I know that I don’t have to tell you how much I have changed, but I was able to keep part of me intact. They do too much. Honestly I have never met a more hateful and vindictive person in all my 51 years!
I am 52 I'm learning to to love myself again ....free of the narc😅
@NadiaHarris-ft7di hi there. Self love is the absolute key. This is where I'm at in counseling which is awesome. I'm nearly 74yrs btw, it's never too late to escape the fog and dream your creativity into reality. They are actually nothing.
They are nasty to the core. Stay strong
I'm your twin. Same here with me. I've went and am still going through the same things 7 years after he's discarded me.
@angelarigido7161 Don't let that pathetic narc you win. You are stronger and smarter than he will ever be. They are not happy people! Think of yourself as the lucky one who got away!!! He will always be on the hunt for supply!! Remember that.
I saw through the mask of her...a smirk, a flash of anger, the malevolent stare, her words are contradictory and she lied without blinking...and so I told myself to be careful of her.
They also hate people that are disabled and in need of compassion or understanding. I remember the way my ex would get exasperated on the bus and angrily ask ‘why don’t they just stay home ?! Especially when he had to wait because someone needed time. He would get angry with me if I gave my seat up to someone who needed it more. Your videos are very informative breaking their behaviors down. I am three years out of that devastating relationship and have become so allergic to Narcissists that I have identified the ones around me. My Mother is one as well and she broke off contact because of my refusal to be her marionette. Thank you for helping us be aware and wise to their toxic behavior.
And Helpers.. he used to mock me and call me Mother Theresa. I actually am ashamed to admit it but curbed that reflex when he was around. For anyone contemplating breaking it off with a narcissist know that it is a sweet relief to rediscover your true self and reset your priorities. The craving is nothing more than an addiction to a fantasy and chemical cocktail they are so adept at creating in your brain. I shut him out. He still tries to make contact. He sent me three cards before, during and after the holidays inviting me to visit. I ignored them but after the third card I got exasperated and found a bereavement card with the saying ‘ We always have our memories’ and in front of that sentiment I wrote the word ‘sadly’ and then quickly vented why I so thoroughly am done with him. Now he just occasionally calls me at work to hear me answer the phone but does not say anything. Once you get perspective even the best of times are hollow when you understand that they are just a Golem with no real ability to do anyone good.
I do resonate with the examples. Everything about me, independent, creative, love plants, happy, and able to express my emotions. I’m the black sheep of my entire family, friends have distanced themselves too. I keep healing each day.
Sameuhhhhhh 💜
Same thing happened to me recently, especially after my kind and loving mother died
Let him have his illusion.. Let Me have Truth and Peace❤
@@kryptonitecveg
🌹🌼🌸🌻🌹...
Sympathy 😢
Same I felt this from a young age 😢
They get along only with the people who allow themselves to be doormats
So freaking true
aka supplies
I'm alone now because I refuse to be my 3 sibling's doormat. I'm very strong and have strong boundaries. I'm told I'm very cold, and I respond by saying I take that as a compliment. 😊
@@PrettyMamaPatchwork exactly!! Which individual should follow
I'm the Truth Teller!!! And the older I get (after going no contact with ALL of those people many years ago,) the more I refuse to stay quiet about my thoughts, feelings, and any injustices/disagreements/resentments! I was raised to never speak up, always keep everything inside, and not to "rock the boat." As an independent, confident, and self-secure adult...I have NO problem rocking that boat! Hell, knock the damn boat upside down if you have to! Speak up, stand up for yourself and others, and don't let those feelings fester silently inside of you!!! Knock that boat over!!! ❤❤❤
I was born with a warrior spirit...born with that bravery and courage that narcissists hate so much! Born to break away from that toxic, narcissistic family cult, full of soulless demons...and break the generational cycle of abuse for my own children! I remember, growing up, that anytime my "mother" saw me happy...she would immediately do or say something so horrible and nasty, that it would instantly turn my happiness into tears. I swear that woman has been on a campaign to try to get me to unalive myself since I was only 10 years old! But I won! I never thought I would make it to 18, but here I am, almost 40 years old! 🎉
Same here Sweetie 😢 my mom had me in tears my whole entire life 😢 only time ⏲️ she was LITERALLY HAPPY WAS HOLIDAYS 😮 , sounds stupid or crazy but the TRUTH 😅
7:02 💯. They hate people who are content with their life or are happy despite their circumstances. They try to ruin their small joys of life and make them feel horrible about their life.
I am a singer songwriter. A creative. I was attracted to narcissists....and they are attracted to me...because it's like I am a juicy piece of fruit ripe for stealing from. If i write songs, they want to steal them. If I take time to relax around them, they try to steal my peace by coming and asking a million questions and getting into my business. The love bombing happens then they immediately go to someone else, sometimes in the same night. I refuse to sleep with them. And that pisses them off even more.
Be you. 🧡 They don't like that.
When they are old , some will still continue nas behaviors .
Stay strong everyone & remove them if u want to be happy .
They hate emotions...they run away from it..
Beware of their funny faces when they can control u with their dramas . Those funny faces are meant to make u feel small .
Often the are really mean when there’s No need to be mean , it’s mind bugling
Because they see only black or white (nothing in between)...
My boss
Strange How They Can't Live without People because they Need Enablers around them and those to Use and misuses yet they can Never ever manage to hold onto relationships.. unlike us Empaths..we Don't have We Don't Need people but we are magnets an most of us prefer our own company unlike them cowards and can't live without someone to use
Absolutely true. The narcissists cannot stand true successful and happy people but still they want to be like them without putting any effort
I hate everything a narcissist stands for, May God have mercy on his poor soul. Amen
The best way to show the narcissist that your better than them is to hate them more than they hate you. Amen.
That sounds like a very unhealthy thing to do. Hate is not what we want in our hearts. For anyone. @@bradfaulkner9597
@@bradfaulkner9597 That is easy to do!!!! They bring on the hatred then play victim
@@amorl4520 There are dangerous people out there that are best to stay away from for sure... But to act like everyone who displays narcissistic behavior is some sort blood sucking demon who doesn't deserve love or healing is slightly over dramatic. Things are never that black and white.
@@bradfaulkner9597Fair play.
Everything you've said is true! Im a very creative person. Bit by bit i pick up my things. Steal is exactly what those do. Every idea of someone else they steal. Joy stealing the worst. Thanks Dainish 🙏🏼❤
I saw through his facade very early after meeting him. I am an independent, visionary, truthful and am very much aware of my emotions. When he would go off on some sort of tangent of lies, grandiosity, non-sense, anger, I would calmly say ....God knows your heart. He's a Christian, as am I. This seemed to stop him in his tracks for a brief moment. Thankfully he's gone now and probably has hatred for me. Not sure. But for me, I chose peace, love, joy and happiness. This is how I live my life and am doing well. There are all kinds of people in the world. When I see through them, even if I don't know them, and some with narcissistic traits or hatred or being nasty, I just think to myself, .thankfully...God knows your heart.
Well said indeed.
“Evil cannot create anything new, they can only corrupt and ruin what good forces have invented or made.”
JRR Tolkien.
Explains the West's entertainment industry.
Thank you! You are so right on! They hate themselves and hate me for being joyfyl, positive, happy and creative. They are mean, nasty, rude and want to take everything you have especially your joy for life. Gotta get out of that place asap.
They are the devil 👿! Who comes to kill steal and destroy
I am a survivor,healed well. Their biggest nightmare😊
TRUTH! Thank you, Danish, for validating the journey that all black sheep face and for sharing your wisdom. Standing up to toxic narcissists & looking into into their black eyes takes guts! My N-FOO has brought me to my knees, gutted me, and aged me at twice the rate. And I thank God for giving me the strength the day I finally broke free & ran away for the sake of my dogs & me. I still experience grief & tears some days, but I keep moving forward as I continue to heal from trauma & rebuild my life... and find peace in nature, music, and the woods.
I'm a combination of those type of people that narcissistic people hate and my mom is the narcissist that has been putting my daughter and I through hell or at least trying and we have taken your tips and hints and she is reacting exactly how you said. Thank you and you are awesome and very understanding and we are grateful for all of your help.
Absolutely, true . Knowing your enemy , in detail, makes you safe , and makes you ready to counter attack.
My ex’s first wife tried to warn me about him, as I told her now I understand and didn’t see any of this coming. Years later I can finally see him clearly, and I don’t have any clouds in my head anymore now that we aren’t together. Thank you Danish for what you say, how you say it, and your journey. I feel like you’ve given my story with this person a voice in a way I don’t think I would have ever understood fully if you weren’t here. Everything you’ve shared I’ve experienced with him. Trying not to feel guilty anymore and give myself permission to let go of it about the time I responded to it all unfavorably that one time I was cornered by him and he wouldn’t stop. This stuff is just mind blowing that someone who would just behave like this and think nothing of it. Understanding it all now helps yes, but the kids don’t deserve to suffer too.
The worst thing I've witnessed from narcissistic people is them getting to a great job position and then making people feel less than them. And with their job position they attract new supply everywhere making the discard easier so it leaves the regular people feeling used, betrayed and a sense of not being good enough to be friends with. One said to me "I'm just at a different place in life" while continuing to do the same thing they were doing when they turned 21- 10 years later.
I always say no drama,he hated that, but I didn't want any more drama in my life
Spot on!!!! I bought my house 2 decades ago as a single mother. I taught myself how to do plumbing, painting, Woodwork, etc. My current Narc husband lives in my house. I discovered very bad wood rot under my slider where the deck Frame attached to the house. I showed him the rot and said I have to get the frame off the rotted ledger board and hope it does not rot out the sill. I immediately started the job and cut off what I needed to see how far the damage was. I saw that years ago the man who built my deck never used a ledger board / waterproof membrane/flashing ect to protect the house. Because the deck was lagged to the original exterior wood siding of the house it completely rotted it all away. Luckily my house was built well 90 years ago and had 6 layers of 2×6/8. Had only damage to a few. I had to be creative to make the deck free-standing. I did not want it lagged to the house. Holy Crap!!!! My narc husband got red in the face and red eyeballs red he saw what I did to my deck. He said he didn't understand woodwork and said I thought I was a Carpenter! He questioned and put down what tool I used for cutting! Yelling He would have used a chainsaw!! He called my father and said I ruined the deck and thought I was a genius like my son who lives in Indiana!! Wtf!?! ( He likes my son a lot )I have worked for 2 decades with my father on my house doing woodwork. I have tons of tools !! My father said I knew what I was doing! He brought in my son and insulted my father's grandson who has zero to do with the deck!!!! Why? Because my son went to College!! He hates people who went to college!! My narc husband hates me deep down because I have confidence and guts to at try to fix something! I catch him talking about me to himself on our security camera clips! This a.m he said "Get your head out of your A-hole. I created a shitshow with my deck!! He dont know I see these clips! I walked in his garage 24×24 I stained /painted /framed interior windows ect and he acts normal in a good mood "Good morning " I say F you under breath so many times a day. He wants me to make myself stupid and small so he can be tall! Little fragile insecure man with a fragile ego. I told him just that! Funny he knew I ripped out my kitchen and put a new one in by myself. Also, ripped up carpet and restored my hardwood floor. Not like I never did this stuff before!! He never said "I am sorry" in 16 years ! My Dad saw my deck today and told my Narc husband I know what I am doing!
Maybe he’s not a narcissist maybe it’s hard being married to such a masculine woman
That sounds like a construction issue. You know what you are in. If you go No Contact with them, you will see even more abuse you had been tolerating while there, coping with their stuff. The under the breath stuff is a coping skill and a sign to get away to safely heal and move on.
@sundown6748 Capabilities don't change your gender, and shouldn't change how who people see you, if they know you.
@@sundown6748what a silly comment😂
Curious why understanding construction and using tools makes a woman (or a man, for that matter) masculine. I'm a slim, feminine woman and I love building things with my hands. I've worked side by side with my husband rehabbing houses for over 20 years - painting, wall papering, demoing walls, building walls, installing tile, flooring, siding, toilets and sinks and much more. The only thing I don't do is electrical. I'm not qualified and don't want to be. My hubs is quite proud of my skills.
I loved people and love to help anybody who needs help ,loved to bring joy on their faces i hated sadness and feeling that nobody cares untill bad things happened and it changed my life forever
😂
Excellent intro 😂 . Also spot on.
Once you know this you’ll never worry about how they feel about you ..
Once you know, you go
Once they know you know it’s freeing.
Absolutely spot on and true. They hate your happiness and enjoy your suffering. Facts 💯
People with attention deficit or adhd. It upsets their status quo because our minds are going off in multiple directions at once, seeing things from all angles, which doesn't comply with their one-way-only need for control - their way. We confuse the hell out of them!
Are you saying people with adhd can be highly narcissistic?
The experience I had with someone who has hurt me sooo much emotionally had adhd. I'm still hurt..they discarded me nastily, passive aggressively & angrily then when I asked to chat, she kept running away. It was horrible..mind games, insidious. Then i confronted her...very nicely- she denied everything!
They're basically talentless so they do everything to undermine you!
Ask God and He will help you if you want to heal, but it is an arduous process and it takes time and awareness (like watching these videos to figure out that it is really happening and that you are not the crazy one) and lots of inner work. narcs are evil and embrace darkness. they are full of hate and are angry so........they are ugly. the best thing of course, is to get out asap. but it isn't always easy because often we become trapped due to not knowing anything was happening at the time.
I was raised by a narc, my mother, and I was told I was wrong for everything I did, for being happy or for feeling confident. I was told it was, "ego" and the message was, "you are wrong" for being beautiful and so I had no idea I was. I always hated myself due to feeling like "I was the problem" since I was not allowed to receive anything from her. "my fault" because I was told I was "bad" and "wrong" for having needs or wanting anything. I believe that this was done so it would seem like it was my fault I didn't get anything - not that she was a psycho sadistic jealous b*tch.
I would back off and shut down and not bother my mother with "my needs" because I was told I didn't get anything because I was "bad". this way it became "my fault". I finally figured that out but for years I blamed myself like she did.
the truth is is that they secretly do get pleasure out of your pain. I did see my mother smiling once when I was grieving the loss of my child, I looked up as I was bawling my eyes out and she was absolutely smiling an evil smile. a chill went thru me when I saw her satisfaction. I never said anything because I had no idea she was sadistic because she would always pretend to my face that I "was her favorite" to cover for what she was actually doing behind my back. I have a litany of things people told me she was telling them, even going to the police and trying to file charges against me that her husband was guilty of and that she was enabling him to do *child molesting.......decades of it. I swear. the police told me they figured she had a problem and let me go. but she tried.
narcs are insane really and do not care one iota about you at all, despite their pretending to
be "nice". whenever they do anything "nice" it is fake and to set you up to believe they are "on your side" so you will be disarmed and disclose things about yourself and leave yourself open. *don't fall for it. it's merely a ploy.
they will copy you, they want to be you, they are competitive and jealous and they are not human in the sense of actually caring, but always thinking how they can outsmart you to take advantage and to get what they want.
when you know about narcs, you can stay a step ahead and plan for this. it is what I do as I am eradicating my programming of having been raised by a narc who seriously hated me due to her extreme jealousy. that was my mother. so now I daily spend time unraveling this "curse" which is having been conditioned to believe that I was "bad" and that it wasn't her, but "my fault" because I was so "undeserving", when in actuality, she just didn't want to be bothered to care for anyone, not a baby, not a child, not you, not me, never loved anyone but only figuring out how much she could take and steal from others. or to eradicate you and your goodness. but to take what you have, be it your husband, your boyfriend, your inheritance, your beingness and all the while, "pretending to be good"............but narcs are evil, truly.
God is the answer to any and all evil but we have to become aware and it is left to us to undo and eradicate the past negative programming. we have to take back our power and know that we actually do deserve to be and to have in LIFE and that we do deserve to be happy. and that we are powerful and that we don't need them. and as soon as you can - heal and leave. apologies for the lengthy response to the video.....I am going thru it and I appreciate being able to vent it. God bless all to heal, thanks Danish. spot on, as usual.
Your story is so similar to mine. I am going through it too, being patient until I can move out of my mother's home. Thank you for writing this. It helped me to see, that I am not alone. I pray for your healing. Thank you for sharing. ❤
Number 5 is my killer...
I live now like a roommate in our inherited house with my brother.
I feel the joylessness.
Looking at the sky the other night I was in awe and started to feel happy.
Immediately I felt something squelching that and started feeling guilty (like it's not permitted) to be happy!
WHAT THE HELL
I have no words after listening to this. I just can see all the answers to the questions I was always making to myself. It's just as real as it is. A living nightmare. This is one transparent specific description of how exactly happens. And sadly I know how it feels to receive all that poison directly from my soul.
omg... I always asked why he hated me so much.. deep seething hatred... "what did I ever do that was sooo wrong for you to despise me so much ? " Now, this makes total sense. tools that I wish I had back then - to protect/save my sovereignty , AND sanity.
I used to ask my sister why she hated me so badly and now I understand. I was a good sister to her. I asked her to tell me just one time just name one time I was ever mean or disrespectful to you and of course she couldn’t name even one time. I worshiped her. She was my older, beautiful sister yet she terrorized and tortured me the entire time I knew her until I severed all ties. They are evil monsters. They destroy everything they touch. Anything that catches their eye they have to destroy through the smear campaign. They are such evil people. It’s so sad because we loved them. Their karma will be brutal and that will break our hearts. Everyone loses. Us and them.
You did nothing wrong. They are hateful little toddlers . Keep being you!!!
I wish i knew this 8 yrs ago. My sister drove me crazy. I had nervous break down and all i remember is a smirk on her face.I couldn't figure out why she hates me. Now i
know.
When I read your post I thought, did I write that. My older sister hated me from the time I was born. There was only the two of us so when I came along some of the attention came off her. A spirit of jealousy and envy came into her, when she wouldn't stop her nasty thoughts. So today she's a full-grown narcissist in her 70s. I went no contact for about 7 years then I decided to write text her, I told her there was some demons there, and I gave her a spirit-filled church where she lives. But I'm done talking. Now it's up to the Holy Spirit to draw her. Just remember they persecuted Jesus, and they're going to persecute us the same way, smile cuz God's loving smile is upon you
I am creative: I write poems, painting, and making jewelry. I used these to express traumas I experienced. My creativity came better after what I lived with my ex, I am also vulnerable and yes, he was telling exactly that I am too sensitive, I am overreacting. And I tell the true and hate injustice.
I am the happy one. Always made the best of the worst. It drove him crazy. He could not understand why I was still happy under the circomstances he created. I was also creative enough to find a way to keep my positive way to look at live.I loved coocking and my garden. I made my own clothes and knitted my sweaters. Always looked for doing things I loved. I was convinced that one day, all would change, and my life would get better. It did, but only after the divorce.
They hate creative people, wow! That's totally my ex/ my daughters father! They hate unpredictable, they can't control it! Exactly, bro!
I’m an artist, poet, writer and I’m a painter. I’ve shown him my painted rocks & shells bc I know it annoys him. I find his reactions quite funny now. I shouldn’t do that bc on the other hand I’m not the kind of person to purposely annoy anyone! See narc’s do this to us! Yes I fell into mirroring him and it doesn’t effect him one bit. I just wanted to share that with you. In fact, in my last comment told you I’m divorcing him and these nutty behaviors won’t be a part of my life any longer! Thank God! I was frozen for 1year until I recently woke up from it! I am talking to my brain & I validate myself out loud & I have a weekly therapy appt. On to a better life w/o narcissism! T gets easier every day and you strengthen me too! I appreciate you Danish!
You are only trying to cope with an unreasonable person. You aren't being like them. They are heartless. And, their behaviors stem from heartlessness.
As a homemaker and primary caregiver for my sister and myself, my mother would do an absolute TON for my dad , but it was never good enough.
So.... she would intentionally stay way behind on the laundry and keeping the kitchen clean just to feel like she was taking some of her power back. And, that was just the beginning of the unhealthy way she dealt with a situation that was beyond her ability to cope.
And, I don't blame her one bit. Her emotional problems and scars were painful to deal with. But, that was nothing (in a way) to the destructive power of my evil minded father and flying monkey of a sister.
If the worst you do to a narc is annoy him with your abilities. Don't worry about it (unless you see it as a threat to your safety). I think it's funny. And, he probably deserves it.
They are murderers of life
I am a mere shadow of what I used to be as far as being literally seen or heard. I used to be somewhat confident with myself. I used to be able to speak and be articulate when doing so. I used to do and be so much more then, but not anymore. And just like you said in a different video, I DO ask God What did I do to deserve the existence that I am enduring ? I say existence because this is not a life. My cats are the only ones that know the real me. The human buried deep inside that is not allowed out when I leave my room. With them I laugh, I cry, I talk, they listen. They have no clue what I’m saying, unless it’s No, stop, get down, that’s not the kitty box, their names, I love you, time to go nigh, nigh.
Then when I go out of my room it’s back to no visible emotion, no words. Just do what I gotta do and go back to my room. If I’m outside doing my yardwork and I hear his truck I beat feet back into the house, into my room so as to avoid any kind of interaction with him. It’s hard to believe that I used to get that feeling of the little hearts floating around my head when he came home. Now it’s like a rock in the pit of my stomach and the anxious thoughts swimming around inside my head. He doesn’t get physical anymore. I’m not scared of him for myself anymore in that way. I do worry about what cats I have left outside. He’s made threats and made those threats reality. I mostly avoid him because I don’t want to hear his voice anymore. His lies. His excuses. His tyraids. I apologize for this being so long. I don’t really have anyone to talk to so when I start typing it kind of like the proverbial flood gates opening.
They hate anyone who can spot them quickly. My ex kept running away from my next door neighbor she didn't even greet the lady...
When I finally saw my elder siblings for what and who they are. I was ghosted by all of them. My parents past away and they stole everything. But I'm finally free of them. Freedom hasn't come easy
This was so powerful. They hate everything. You. Are. Miserable people who fake it through life. Thank you so much Blessings to you
Thanks so much. You have an amazing grasp of the disorder and talent for explaining it. I have all those traits you mentioned. Every one.
This explains why when I became care free, practicing stand up comedy and doing art projects, so many bad behaviors were triggered. I couldn't understand why....
Why does my mother sneer when I tell her about experiences that bring me joy?
Why does she scoff when I have to share a problem or difficulty?
Why did she get so upset when I cried over my father's death bed, trying to hug him one last time? My God, she was repulsed by it, absolutely disgusted.
When I was younger, and showed her my drawings, she would ask "what's it supposed to be?" Not abstract art, the most insulting thing you could say to an artist.
Why would she and my father never want to talk about my admission of failures and what I was doing to correct them?
Why? Well now I know.
And so do YOU if you watched the video. I'm so grateful I found Danish on here. My mother would absolutely hate you on site, and after hearing you don't have an American or Canadian accent. She would pretend like she couldn't understand you even though your English is perfect. ❤
If they can't control you or money their gone
I am creative. He took every idea, suggestion I ever gave him and did them AFTER I was discarded.
Energy vampire, information vampire, idea vampire. Or is it Hoovering squared or something?
I guess I do a bit of all of this with my family because I now realize I do get singled out by telling the truth by them.
That's what all narc families does.
So so true especially the last one....they just can't see me happy or looking good. I have to look my worst in order to escape punishment
They don't want to "self pity" but always call in "crisis mode" and expect you to drop everything you're doing to go to their rescue.
Narcissist dysfunctional behavior cannot be truly exhausted. When I met my ex he was always asking my mother what she ate when she was pregnant of me because I was unstoppable enthusiastic, dynamic, intelligent, truthful, focused and happy. He was always envious because he never accomplished anything in his entire existence. His set goals were never achieved.
So , So true, I experienced a lot of bullying since grade school because of. My personality even buy my older brother and my sister, I am the youngest in a family of nine , It was tough growing up , I am now 67 a retired Producer / Director , DJ , Voice over artist , and a 3rd degree belt in Shorinrue , Taekwondo , Chundoquan ...
Everything you said is absolutely true. Thank you. Your channel is a blessing. I hope you feel blessed.
I pray for our souls to have
peace. 🌹
And may peace be ours always. 🙏
More and more peace. 🙏
Wow such a brilliant video. So spot on. Thank you Danish, not only are you at the top of your game but you are such an authentic, genuine, kind and empathic person with integrity and great force from your intelligence. You restore my faith in humanity
OMy, 😕 I consider myself an artist. And our daughter also.
He Did always say he envied our artistic ability .
I'm speechless at the moment.
That's haunting.
Thank you for your video💜
Thank you for all your podcasts. After 17 years, I’ve come to realize the destruction to me being married to such an individual. I’m a creative, strong and independent woman who is now trying to live and enjoy life. I pray for enlightenment and strength to move forward. Thank you for your insights.
Thank bro. Now I know how to deal a narcissistic person. And I feel much better than before. All credit goes to you
No joke I literally chuckled out loud at the first thing he said: "narcissists hate people in general..." for some reason that just made me laugh as I instantly pictured my suspected narc family member in my mind. And he said it so seriously. I guess it was funny because it is the understatement of the year! I was ready for some profound insights and instead got "they hate people in general"😂.... but then I went on to watch the rest of the video and indeed got those profound insights I was looking for. Great video!
I seem to attract narcissists (not romantic type) into my life who are jealous and angered by my independence and creativity. They cannot control me because i have a mind of my own, am very self determined and good at making my own decisions, very intuitive too...and they also dont like that I am creative and visionary because maybe they feel less than? Like how they distract themselves in their workaholic lifestyles or never want to be home and always "out there" to get away from themselves, they are threatened by those who are happy to go within, happy in their own company, happy to reflect, read, paint, write, create...all these things take self reflection, self awareness, thinking outside the box, what if questioning etc. I would be interested if you have not covered it already, but a topic on narcissists and creativity - I don't personally find them to be very creative but I do find them to be jealous of other artists and I have also seen them steal from other artists or try and sabotage someone's artistic work.
Sir, this.one lesson, coupled with the comments and experiencing a lifetime of.this, has clarified everything.Deepest
Gratitude.
I have literally experienced every one that you mentioned ... with my wife and also my mother. Thanks for talking about these topics that I didn't understand until they were pointed out.
Thanks
Due to ur information, i realized how to handle this type of illness.
I am really enjoying life. 18 year's drama .
Creativity!! When I made a commitment to Christ my powers of creativity began to bud and blossom.The demons,fallen angels,are insanely jealous.Pray for repentance.🙏💔💪💯
What's so tragic is them not being themselves. My sister copies and tries to sabotage ideas. She's in her 60s and has wasted many decades watching me, competing, comparing with me, lying and stealing. So glad for your site.
I,m a Truth teller and I wonder how I ended up with narcissist,at the beginning I used to tell him that his mother didn't raise him well that why he don't respect women,he used to tell me stories and I didn't want to hear them
You ended up with him because the narcissist wanted a truth teller to tell the world that he/narcissist is great
Dziękujemy.
Everything you say is so true! Thank you for confirming and validating my experience, thoughts and emotions. This is exactly my experience. Everything you said. Thank you so much
Oh you nailed it again Danish!!! If they can’t have it then they will destroy it, cars, homes, family heirlooms, and any other possessions that are important to you they will steal from you in a heartbeat also BEWARE people especially Empathetic ones of us we seem to attract them like magnets ❤️❤️❤️to all 🌹🐈🐈🧛♀️
My gosh … this is absolutely bang on! I cannot say how correctly you have described the amazing qualities that all narcissists hate to their core.
And they are ready to do anything , lie, steal or fool you ( the target) to get the life and these qualities into them. They steal them one by one , without any shame or remorse .
My only big question is - after going through narcissistic abuse , how does one reintegrate one’s suppressed sides?
Regarding your question, try finding Tim Fletcher on RUclips. He has amazing, detailed videos and teaching on Complex Trauma. He’s very gifted in this area and covers the gambit on the topic in very easy step by step explanation on what happens to someone who has gone through abuse. He and his team have so many videos that you’ll also find yourself binge watching as they are light bulb moments on how our brains adapted to the shame associated with being abused. He discusses dissociative behavior like what happened to you and says you have to “teach yourself how to feel your emotions”.. check him out when you can.
thank you, Danish
Thank you good man!
It really helps to be reminded of these. My own internal veils covering my abuse are falling away each day.
Currently in therapy and going through EMDR. Its hard going back there and even harder dealing with what comes out after, but, despite the pain and emotions of torture, it is for "My greater good"
Thank you again for helping me and everyone else who is lucky enough to find you!
Continued success in Being you Danish ❤🎉✨👊
Very authentic and he does not like anyone with their own ideas that is so real
Hi Danish, As a someone who has grown up with a covert narcissist mother your videos really hit the nail on the head with your observations.
I would love it if you could do a video on how adult children of narcissistic parents can manage the situation in a south asian cultural context because as you must know "walking away" is not a possibility. Even if you can live separately many times the responsibility both financial & otherwise is still expected to be borne by the child.
This is so hardcoded into our DNA as south asians its crazy.
Your perspective will be much appreciated. Thank you!
What you said is absolutely correct. I am going through such a situation in my relationship 😢
Im actually all 7 so I must REALLY be hated behind the scenes and sometimes in front of the scenes onstage.
It took many years after leaving home to feel free and become happy inside and love myself. (Love your neighbor as yourself cant be done until you love yourself!)
I had to move in with my brother in parents house and I feel like its similar to early life again, with him being similar to father, but father I believe had more integrity.
I stalled returning and cried because I knew what was waiting, and here I finally am.
Nothing could be truer. Recent events that have been painful are enlightened by these ideas. Any truth that takes away my pain for a moment is embraced by me.
You are really knowledgeable about these annoying narcissists . I continually study this because there are sooooo many of them
Another word for them is miserable F's
Almost all of them
Still, at age 64 I am only starting over again
I still hypervigilan, hypersensitive, very reactive, and I have HUGE trust issues even with myself.
Thank you, Danish
Waah so lam not alone in this mess.lam ur Age . l can't tolerate any more. I blame myself. The 12:55 option left is to start all over again.
Wow, so very true, you have explained this illness very well!! And I thank you!!
Wow, wow, wow! I needed to hear this. What great information to receive. I'm getting ready to go NC and this jwas really helpful to me. Thank you so much. Your videos really speak to me!
A common thread I have seen and experienced with hostile narcisstic female bosses is that they ALL hated their mother and had never resolved that relationship all the way into adulthood. Therefore, there seemed to be a lot of projecting as it didn't take much for them to get triggered. Those 7 attributes you described triggers them!
He asked me why I always found fault in him and I told him his behaviour is what makes me hold him accountable for his actions. He gave me uti and didn't want me questioning him about it and when I did, he denied it because deep down they're stray dogs and he was the only person I slept with
Amazing!!!!! You are so Good Danish!!!! Truely this is the case w/ me… over and over and over I tried to Self soothe by trying to better y self and overlook and just be quiet… and continue in my joyful fun personality creating unique programs and enjoying loving people.
He just got worse…. More mean… more indignant… more accusatory, and I became Scared, but tried not to show it. I would go to my knees and just pray soooo hard! Then God would give me strength to “go forward, be yourself!”
It just got worse… I have been the Targeted black sheep wife from his cult family. When I exposed them all to my husband….
He exploded that I was the big problem… then abuse me and DISCARDED ME… like a piece of trash, after 26 years 12:50 of marriage!
Creativity: Which is why they get so angry when you gray rock them or cut them off. They cant mirror you. Also, they cut you off if you dont share ideas bc they want you just to make them look good. Experiencing this now😔
Everything you said on the video is (1000) percent true. I have experienced this with my mother. Everything you said, I went through all of it. Sad but true 👍🏾.
I'm actually dealing with that right now. Sad it's really True. REALITY and FACTS/TRUTH 👍🏻✌🏻 YUP 👍🏻.
They hate boundaries and people who don’t care about the drama they seem to create around any situation
But, from an spiritual perspective a so called narcissist is brought to you so you can grow as well
In my heart I have thanked them for the lesson and feel proud for being stronger thanks to them
Of course, I think is that internal attitude that translates into all what you do-that they hate the most
My deepest compassion to them because their life is a prison and they alienated anyone who could support them to get out of it
My mother and everyone in her family Hated me. Now I take their hatred as a compliment. I found more peace and acceptance of myself after learning of that Narcissistic family. I now understand I didn't deserve the hatred that was heaped on me all of those times.
I am a writer. Soon after I started my career my husband began to devaluating me on completely different things and when I had my first success he discarded me for new supply. Because he said all the time how great it was that I was writing it really took me by surprise.
Excellent video, I've experienced almost all the above, unfortunately...
Me too it’s so exhausting 🤦🏼♀️
An F B I Agent stalking my life has been trying to interfere with my progress and has been trying to harm my right to make a living because he's Narcissistic. These attacks had hurt my life in such a way that I'm still trying to secure the right type of Counsel to deal with all areas of it legally since the guy had no place in my life whatsoever to be following and targeting me for over 11 years trying to steal and profit from my on-line business.
This guy is great. He is spot on!
Yes, they do a lot of damage but they will never have the victory. We have the victory in Jesus. ❤
Amen 🙏
Well, Jesus hasn't helped me or a lot of other people. Religion is an excuse to stay in an abusive relationship.
Wow.... I am all these things. I started off my relationship with my ex bold and vibrant, creative and wonderful. I always had it in my head not to be with anyone who would take these characteristics away from me.... Yet somehow overtime he did.
It was an uphill battle when i realized i was no longer myself, i did everything in my power to reclaim myself *except* for leave him, i didnt know it was him doing it to me.
The more of myself I reclaimed, the further away he got. The happier and more independent i became, the more standoffish and distant he was. By the time i was finally feeling like myself, i got discarded hard and fast. Thrown out like the trash. But because i finally felt like myself i knew it wasnt a "me" thing anymore
They can't handle the truth in any form, shape or way.
This video comes in time.. your content is so helpful. I have been sharing your videos to soo many so people become aware of narcissism. I have too many flying monkeys around. 🐒 😅
On a serious note this is difficult to deal with. Please do pray for me.
I am all of those things. No wonder I attract narcissists like moths to a flame. In fact I've experienced everything you described that narcs do to people who are authentic, honest, creative, etc. I could tell you stories about these evil people that would turn your hair white mid sentence. Yikes!
I have been putting up with his behavior for more than 30 years. My husband, the narcissist, hates me. Once I figured that out, his traits became more obvious to me. I don’t know how I can escape this abuse. 😢