I love your videos. That you have gone through these things yourself, I feel gives you a perspective other coaches don't have. I would love for you to do a video on calming techniques that can be used in the midst of a narcissistic onslaught. In the past my reactivity has gotten the better of me, and in the case where physical violence was often the end result, that reactivity became a danger to my own safety. My logical brain knew this, but my primal brain was the one taking over. I feel I was missing the key component to disengaging enough to even check in with myself, it often happened so fast.
@ThatMontanaMom they will keep pushing and pushing until you react. All calculated. I now remove myself from their presence. Tell them they just gave you a case of explosive diarrhea 😅 and run for your life.
They get really mad when you call out their shadi.....ness. Also, they see empaths as weak and not intelligent. They want what they want (usually our wallet). Face turned red (embarrassment b/c you caught him). Imagine if you asked him if he gives his money away? (I actually said that to one who thought i was naive lol). Notice base pruce is never less lol? He was used to people just payimg whatever they say. Was in a relationship with one who turned into a monster when I tried to get back what was mine (which was futile in the end). His fury told me what the whole relationship was all about. I'm glad you perservered, Danish. He was probably afraid you would report him. Glad he didn't turn the tables and gaslight you into oblivion. Also it's good they have surveillance now to keep us safe. Good thing you were able to check on the fare. I usually become afraid when they get mad... which is exactly what they want.
@robinwelch2265 way to make yourself look like a pos. Narc partner or not cheating is cheating. Letting the narc change your own morals....who really wins?
I had a raging female narcissist boss once. I ignored her rages and her door slams and kicking her trashcan. The more I ignored her, the more angry she became. One day she leaned over my desk and physically threatened me. I walked out and filed charges on her. Never said a word to her. She got 2 weeks suspension.
I had a raging narc coworker once solicit me to commit fraud. I immediately went to the company owners and gave my notice, and explained why. I was kept on the payroll and given a private office while looking for work. The insurrectionists were all fired.
Lol. I wanna meet a narcissist woman actually, because most woman, men are afraid of me. Because I have a cold aura in my presence. If an narcissist insult me, I give a cold stare and don’t react at all and make her uncomfortable by my stare. I think the reason why you attract an narcissist is, you’re empathic, that’s my guess, it’s easier to hurt you, narcissists can read people, remember that. I am not empathic person in real life for example this is why I don’t meet an narcissist. I am cold, indifferent, callous person….Narcissist are pathetic, insecure individuals. I can break them so easily….
It resonates with me so strongly. Narcisists surround themselves with enablers who turn a blind eye to their evil, manipulative actions and they will attack and persecute anybody who holds a mirror to show them what they are actially doing and how wrong it is. Our silence is powerful and it often speaks louder than words. Thank you Danish❤ God bless you❤
I did Not hardly speak with my narcissist for 2 + years except to say “please pass the salt….” All the while I wanted so badly to divorce him and be done with it all, but I kept praying and crying out to God to please deliver me and do something about him. Well, my silence spoke volumes and we are still together but I limit my time I spend with him. I spend as much time as possible with my real friends who aren’t and never were fakes. I’ve educated myself with videos similar to this one and. Now I know when he’s looking for supply. I do not engage in ANY of the arguments he starts and I keep myself under control and emotionally cold when he’s nearby. This is the only way it works and yes, for a while there he was very angry. But after 2 years, he figured out that he’d better treat me with kindness (like he did when we dated and were engaged) or it was going to be a very lonely existence!
This is SO true! I once dated a guy who’s family thought he was the sweetest man alive. Soon as I called him out on his evil ways, he attacked me with his words because he knew he was in the wrong. Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🤍
@@Catalinameyerofficial I think they just don't the work on themselves. On their insecurities, they don't accept who they are and instead of working on themselves they just wear this mask that they thought that would be acceptable to other people where they can get love. I am become toxic too before and I am still working on that negative side of me. Fighting them would be stressful and pointless. But I think giving everyone understanding and be compassionate will help. Ofc, always have strong boundaries, know them well, be vigilant but not paranoid and protect yourself because we don't know what kind of demons we are facing.
The only thing about not reacting is that it sometimes leads to escalation. Ignoring someone you don't live with is easy. If you live with a hard core narcissist it could get really bad. Yes they will get upset but their instinct is to attack you. A victim not reacting "properly " is totally unacceptable. To really make this work safely it's best to quietly escape. Permanently.
Problem is we share a child. She constantly is doing 1upmanship. It’s easy to defeat. All you gotta do is live a happy life, but it sucks because it’s a constant battle when dealing with them.
@yes.sir. Totally understand. I was forced to sacrifice much of my life in order to protect my children. I've been abused in every conceivable way. There are times when we have to choose between what's best for us or what's best for our children. The experts will always tell us it's better to leave and it is but there is always a price to be paid and somtimes it's too high. It won't always be like this. When your time comes don't hesitate. Narcissists don't change they just try to present a new temporary version of themselves to get you to stay.
@@allentempleton2429 I’m at the stage where I feel super human. My narc knows they have zero control over me. I have called out their bs eloquently while remaining calm and emotionless. Not just pretending they have no control, but knowing they have no control and walking away always feeling empowered. This has turned my narc into a dangerous stage of devaluation. She claims she knows these things about me she is going to expose and just making flat out crazy claims. According to the experts, this is the final stage so hopefully it’s over soon. The best revenge is live a happy life.
I was calling a "robot and condescending"as i was trying to detach. As i have a disability, no family and depend on him as i live in a small place in his property, i had to backtrack and appease him. I keep a polite attitude and if i share emotions is something i dont care much about. He is very covert and loves the charitable image of "keeping me"the crazy ex...i have my old dog, no savings, parkinsons disease and we have a housing crisis. I need support and strategies.
@HekateMoonLight I feel your pain. Both you and I are what is called financial prisoners. We survived the abuse and basically ended the relationship but our financial situation holds us in a sort of limbo. I myself live in a large, run down Victorian house that my former abuser also lives in. The cost to live here is far less than any apartment in the area. The house is sufficiently large that we both have our own living quarters. If either one of us decides to leave we would be unable to find independent living. At my age and with my health conditions there's no way I will ever make considerably more money so here I am. Half way between Heaven and Hell. I wish I had an answer for you. I try to keep my sanity by exercising, keeping in touch with friends and working as much as my health allows. I try to find joy in simple things. I have stopped wishing for things that are out of my reach and try to find something to be thankful for every day. Unfortunately there are too many days when I am full of regret for allowing myself to fall into this trap. I'm sure you have days just like that as well. Please know you are not alone. I prey you and I will find a way to be happy.
💯 it's all about controlling your emotions, watching you, and gauging what you're thinking and feeling, for nothing more than their narcissistic sadistic pleasure.
@undercoverbird8592 I certainly noticed psychosis in people with NPD, but thankfully, I do not suffer from psychosis. My healing is more like a journey, to find the truth in every human encounter. Sometimes it's easier to keep a distance from people and any forms of deception. The knowledge and therapy help me come to better peace with my environment reflecting rather than analyzing. 😅❤️
It's not always about pleasure if they aren't sadists. It's about using you as there own thermostat. They probably came from a family where that was normal. Using the most empathetic person to help regulate themselves and they aren't even aware they do it or why. The ones who are high level know why and are aware but have turns it into a sick game and are high on dark triad spectrum and super malignant and sneaky. They are the most dangerous ones. The ones who are having a bad day and you can say you know what, I didn't mean to get you upset but I think it's a fair question to ask why $2, using the cab example, are the ones that aren't so malignant IF they take a deep breath and say ya know I understand now, I'm sorry it was a mistake and don't drive like a maniac. So my advice is to go stoic after at least one or two attempts fail and you have spotted more red flags. But everyone needs to choose what's best for themselves without changing too much of themselves in response to narcs and other types of toxic behavior because that means they win that way too, when you become less you. It's not always so cut and dry like he says when talking about the other video we always need context and without it we just have to look out for ourselves and set some boundaries because no one else is doing it for us now we are adults. 🕊️
Thank you Danish for this Video. Just like the Bible says in 1. Peter 5:8 Be self-controlled and vigilant always, for your enemy the devil is always about, prowling like a roaring lion looking for ist prey.
Know this also what men will be like when time ends...lovers of self, covetous, without conscious, boastful,proud,fierce,blaspheme,jigh minded,heedy,back biting,without natural affection, having forms of godliness never knowing where it comes, false accusers...There are 28 specific demonic states. The last is diver lusts or witchcraft. Makes you wonder...
@@deirdremorris9234 Narcs are the seed of Cain. See Genesis 3:15 and Psalm 58:3-5. Also the Parable of the Wheat (normal humans) and Tares (Narcs) in the Book of Matthew. All of us have sinned and fallen short of God's glory, however, narcs have chosen to go along with evil/wickedness to give them power over others.
Yes, amazing cab driver experience to share and great job, I probably would have gone a step further and called the company to express my concern regarding fraudulent cab charges.
This is why narc cheaters Always accuse you of cheating and then say good defense is offense and I'm like um. No it's projection and secret confessions...they always tell on themselves IF you just listen to them and realize and be patient. The crazier they accuse them you know they are capable of just that thing and that's when you run and don't look back. Some narcs are sadistic and malignant in ways more like ASPDs. Those are too dangerous to grey rock
When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..
"They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle." Thank you for this. Needed it today. He used his new gf to come after me (via text on his phone) and initially I felt sorry for her, but today I realized she's as crazy and narcissistic as he is, or close to it from my encounters with her. Gaslighting, threatening me, etc. I see (now) how everything he says to me is projection. Everything. He often says "GROW UP!" or "You are delusional and crazy". "You're psychotic" etc. I never believed any of that stuff, but I couldn't understand how he hated me so much after everything I gave him - emotionally and more. Again, all projection. I spent a lot of time looking at myself saying "it takes two". But there was no self-reflection with him. They are perfect for each other and I no longer feel bad for her. They will cheat on each other, guaranteed. Because she is so insecure, just like him. They will fight for years if they do last, and stonewall, gaslight, the whole narc spectrum. I am lucky to be out, but still processing my anger at the wasted time caring about someone who hid their narc and sociopathic traits so well at first. Until it all unraveled.
@@WalksfortheSoul77ugh I relate to your comment. We just broke up a couple days ago for the last time. I’m trying my best to stay away. And I’ve been so afraid cuz I know he’ll get a new gf as soon as he realizes I’m really not coming back. Just trying to brace myself so it doesn’t hurt so much and I can not be jealous of her because I know all this. Just breaks my heart about the wasted time and I really did love him. Still I hope maybe one day he wakes up and we find our way back. I see his true soul and that’s who I love but I even love his mask. I’ll forever love him but I can never be with him unless he seriously changes and is seeking help..
@@taelyrlazke473 It gets easier to stay away from the toxic ex over time. The hardest part is right after it. The first month or two. But most of all the first few weeks is the most painful part. Hang in there. It does ease up and I hope you have someone to talk to about all this. I leaned on a good friend heavily in the beginning especially. Some friends just can't cope with you not moving on right away. That's their issue. It does take healing yourself and time. These are not normal relationships to get over. Trauma bonding, etc. They use that new girlfriend to get back at you and often it is more about hurting you than it is the new person. That is not the type of people we want to be in a relationship with. They can only be happy when you are in pain, so I'm not signing up for that anymore. And yes, I still love and care for him despite all of it. But I also love myself and want more in my life than the emptiness that is inevitable with a narcissist.
@@taelyrlazke473 i can relate gurl i feel u, i wish they could even feel love or love us back but i don't think they are capable of it. it's like falling in love with something that isn't even real, mourning something that was never there
My last relationship with a narcissist, I told him we should start recording our conversations like a podcast [so he could hear his demonic-possessed tantrum outbursts], but at first he wanted to sound sane so he would change his tone when we were both recording, but eventually he couldn’t even keep THAT mask on 😭😂 I laugh about it now bc I’m safe.
I threatened to record him. He threw a tantrum! He deliberately broke things in front of me. I never reacted. He threw water all over my wood stove, hearth and hardwood floor. I just cleaned it up while he followed me with his black eyes, arms crossed over his chest. No response.... My older Brother walked off to the bedroom and shut the door. Then came major destruction.... I'm still repairing me, yes the PTSD from the trauma, and my home, tools, farm equipment....I nicely asked him if he was prepared to repair what he damaged. He raged. He's gone and blocked.
Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
Hello! One of the best things that happened in my marriage with a narcissist, the love disappeared sooner then I thought could be. In fact I never really loved him, we got married so soon because this is one of their strategies, to lock you in asap. This is a huge account for me, I didn’t suffer emotionally, I ran from him, in one afternoon while he was in a court meeting. I drove from Georgia to California by myself running from a narcissist dangerous man. I escaped alive luckily. But the story didn’t finish easily. This has been the most tragic experience in my life, he almost killed me poisoning my drinks and food for long time, I was getting sick and didn’t know exactly what was, then, my intuitions started working. Long story.
If you are with a narcissist, no trick helps. You have to listen or else. There were times when he imitated me, criticised, belittled, humilated, insulted, lied, .... for hours, 4--5 hours, for months. He would sit across from me, and insult me in every way he could. I could never think of so many insults, and for such a long time. If I raised my head, he would say - oh, you're proud. And I had to bend down my head again and listen. I wasn't allowed to look at the TV. Finally, I would break down and cry and he still wouldn't stop. I'm crying now because I remembered how I felt then. God, have mercy on us, the victims
@@zorabujaroska3645i also left narc 5th august 2023, same situation, listening to all kinds of insults, but at one point I was "wtf" and then confronted him "think what you want I dont care" , but trully to see him that on my face that i'm serious and he stopped
It's your blind love and your dependence on them that you tolerated his bullshit.. learn that now and become financially and emotionally independent! And never never go back to them again because they somehow try to Hoover you back again into their life once they see your life is getting better after leaving them . This time you need to be strong and reject them straight away
Absolutely relatable. Each time you try to talk to them about some issue, they take everything as a personal attack and will become defensive and will try to double down and twist the worlds and make it about them
It's dangerous to be quiet. My ex and even my adult kid physically attacked me bc I was quiet. My kid was screaming at me that she hates when I am quiet. I am so exhausted for many years. My ex past away 4 years ago and I still deal with the flashes of abuse. And now I am with another abuser. What the he'll is wrong with me. I just cannot believe it. BTW I grew up with nars parents too. I realized that I don't know what is normal. Sir, last few months I am learning from you to understand about this evilness. Thank you for opening my eyes. God bless you 🙏 ❤
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Just keep remembering you don't deserve it. You are conditioned as a child. And so you fall into these patterns repeatedly and it's not your fault. Just know that you're worthy and it's not your fault. You can't know what normal is when your conditioned that way as a child. The blame is on the abusers and you need to always remember that. There is nothing wrong with you for repeating a pattern that you learned as a child. You learn survival techniques as a child. And now you're an adult and you have to put those survival techniques in place in a different way. Because I agree with you sometimes the most dangerous thing is to stay quiet. What I learned with my rageful father was many things. I could never afford to panic. Because panicking and losing control of my emotions meant that I was putting myself at great risk. At risk of being killed. So in his face went red my first instinct would be to run. But sometimes you can't run. You can't run when you're in a car. You can't run when you're trapped physically. And during those times my brain would slow down and everything would be in slow motion and I would be in control of my reactions. And I would diffuse him and I later learned how to diffuse many other narcissists. I would defuse them instead of being silent because being silent can get you killed. I would say whatever I needed to say whatever they needed to hear I would denigrate myself for them. I would tell them how stupid I was how I had made a mistake by saying something that upset them how important they were. I would defuse them until I could get away safely. I never believed any of the things I said to them. I never walked away in shame. I walked away proud that I had escaped yet another time. There are many techniques that we have to use to stay safe to protect ourselves. Sometimes staying silent and not engaging is the best possible thing to do it just depends on the type of person you're dealing with. When you're in a car I don't think you can ever take that risk. They get so riled up and you're at their mercy and you have no idea what will happen. Just keep telling yourself that you're not to blame for their abuse. You didn't cause it. It's not personal. You don't deserve it. And and you do have to get away and you have to get away safely. Peace and healing to you. You have a struggle ahead of you. You've made it this far and that means that you're strong. Put all your skills to use You will need every one of them. Just remember you are still here for a reason. Because you knew how to keep yourself safe
@@lexbestI’m sorry you have to go through that. Yes, that part that you tell them it’s your fault , you are horrible person, apologies how wrong you are just to escape when you were trapped is what most people in narcissistic relationship ship goes through. The part that you said you don’t believe anything you say to them is good. I always see it as whatever they do or say got nothing to do with the us but it’s just person they are.
I happened to name my son Owen, then hoping it didn't mean "Beautiful man" or something nerdy I learnt it means "Young warrior", he's 25 now and I couldn't be prouder!
Yes TY Danish!! I’m Pretty Sure I’ve Had 3 In A Row Now But They Can Sure Take Alot Of Your Time Until Their Mask Falls Off. Then You See It And It Gets Scarier
Definitely Pushing Buttons, Hurting Your Feelings On Purpose Cause They Know What Does Cause Were Pure And They Are Wanting To Be But Then Figure Out They Can Be Heartless
That was a great example with the taxi driver. Indifference and silence has literally saved me from more narcissistic abuse. “you are nothing to the narc and when you no longer respond to them their is an energy shift in the dynamic of the relationship and now they experience being NOTHING to you.” This makes them feel annihilated. They attach themselves to you by your emotional response. Getting under your skin as the expression goes. Game over once you’ve achieve a high level of stoicism .
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
I have taken the MBCT course which deals with emotional regularity and was able to navigate a relationship for quite some time 5 years with a borderline/narcissist. He threw at me every trick in the book, I never took the bait. I don't think he could figure out what was going on. I was so non-reactive, in the end he blew the entire relationship up but I was quite proud of myself for never ever losing it and staying calm among the chaos. He will probably never experience anything like that again. I will forever be a mystery and thats the way I like it. Our and at peace. Reacting is like throwing kerosene on a fire, don't do it.
I also did the nonreact technique. It really does work. He walked out in me several months ago. Probably the best and safest for me! He literally leaves if I see him somewhere. I think he’s scared of me bc he can’t figure me out. He knows I’m very smart so he doesn’t think I’m stupid. See? He can’t figure it out why I’d not react At All !!!
@soulTraveller144 fight them with intelligence. First figure out the problem then you will figure out how to solve it.. And most of all have no worries
Ignoring them could work. However, it does feel a bit freeing to shout at their face and throw all their lies and BS at them. My narc mother is forever playing the victim card. Then goes into rages if you don't give her what she wants or do as she say. I think karma is working on her now because she's constantly sick. That's what you get for constantly manipulating people to feel sorry for your myriad "conditions". Maybe her body finally decided to really deteriorate since she loves to pretend to be sick so much.
😂🤍 But I have a question.. listening to you I was imagining myself in such a situation..but along with happiness of defeating the wrong I felt the panic of being attacked in deepest part within my ribs ..it was so brave of you 👏👌
I did exactly what you are saying Danish, and that made him even bolder in lots of ways to degrade and humiliate me. I jumped on board with that sentiment wryly, as I continued to be calm and peaceful in his presence. Eventually I got debilitating IBS, anxiety and depression. This I’m still working through, however I’ve been free of the physical contact for a year and life is bringing joy to me. The only way out is through, and it has been my life for my entire life, since childhood. It’s a long road and I’m glad I’m finally travelling it 🙏🥰
I was diagnosed with PTSD, Major depression, fibromyalgia, and adrenal fatigue several years ago.( 5-6 years ago) and I never understood the PTSD diagnosis. It’s just been within the past two years I get it ! Not a single counselor addressed it. I had developed behavioral patterns (symptoms ) as a result of being in a 12 year relationship with a narcissist and not a single therapist addressed it. Without going into detail about my 12 year relationship with a narcissist, having two children with him, I’m learning why these changes in my behavior have developed I’ve been following different counseling persons on RUclips that have helped me recognize why I am the way I am now and I’m learning how to work through so many different emotions and situations. I can honestly say that having found Danish on RUclips has been a Godsend. Danish has been on point with so many of his explanations on recognizing and working thru life after living with a narcissist. I will most definitely refer him to many ! Thank you Danish for being short and to the point on these topics ❣️
When a Narcissist is caught badly,if we react to what they’ve done to us they cross blame,act like we are creating an unnecessary drama,tell us we don’t have such rights on them or we never had,try to make us look like we are too immature and try to drag every weakness of us so that we should feel the lowest that time and also try to guilt trip us so badly that whatever they’ve done should look like nothing just to satisfy their ego ! Never share your personal life with them it’s the biggest mistake one could ever do because when the time comes they will use it against you to put you down and put u on guilt.May god watch their every step and stop every good human being to be a victim of them.May realisation and Karma hit them so hard that they know the value of god and good human beings around them.May they all be mentally ill so that they can never make another person mentally ill anytime🙌🏻🙏🏻don’t feel bad if they’ve fooled you with lies once, God will fool them so badly one day that they can’t use their smart brain anymore to fool a good person or to drain anyone mentally or emotionally. You are doing an amazing job Danish❤️May god bless you🙌🏻
Just last week this fool told me that’s why all those dudes before left you. I laughed and said but you’re still here, so your calling yourself stupid? He was trying to to make it look like I’m crazy and nobody want me but him. Just dumb. I stick with him tho because, he’s not crazy crazy. I know he had a bad upbringing and he had to develop a way to game people otherwise he felt like he would not have anything. But as I’m making him aware of what of what he is doing, whether he likes it at the time or not God can heal anyone. Everyone writes how they can’t change. That’s a lie, a person who truly follows Christ knows that you have to have changed heart. You can no longer be out to serve yourself. Think narcissist as a term is thrown around to much much for people who just live in their flesh. You gone do what the flesh want you to do. But when you die to yourself and pick up your cross and follow the guidance of the father, you WILL become a new person. People! Don’t let no one tell you otherwise tell you otherwise
Yes but the one I know keeps telling me what a good christian he is, & quotes the Bible,as he goes about destroying anyone he can use & destroy.He delights in it & shruggs it off saying we are all fallen ?? He though belives in Jesus & is going straight to Heaven.Its a mental problem. Its an evil problem as he continually thinks he can do & say whatever he wants & because of his religious beliefs (which others in that church too think) ; all they have to do on death bed is cry out to Jesus & their saved.What hyprocrisy.This gives licence to his horrible ways.Just get free of them totally if you can, or at least keep them at bay.When your the one to use & destroy ,they unleash their full rotteness on you.Not those however where they thrive on being Mr nice good guy or shiela,& will do small things to elevate their status amoungst that group,whilst gaslighting you there too.There is no good end to it. Their sub human cruel ,usuarious & totally for themselves & to look good in the main arena. They are callous, mercilous, stressful, dangerous,threatening dishonest -wanting everthing you have & demanding it, while they degrade you.Just plain dreadful...And costly $$$! They are evil. Keep clear. Surely they carn"t go to heaven ???
Great video, thank you. Before hearing this I probably would have argued the unfairness of overcharging cab riding customers. Now I know better. The cab driver example really hit home the points you were making. We really cannot react to these people. We can not let them get under our skin. Stoic is the perfect word for what we must be when encountering them. Give them nothing to hang their hat on, so to say.
I was married to a narcissist in an arrange marriage set up as they do in India, little did i knew about the enmeshment my husband and MIL shared.. it all started getting very clear when i got pregnant. She did horrific things to me, as she wanted me to loose this child. When i confronted her and my husband he abandoned me and my infant emotionally. She pushed me when i was holding my 11day old child. That was the point when I decided to walk out of my marriage and put physical assualt charges on her. Since that day almost 2 years ago i came across Danish's video and can't be more thankful and grateful to him!!! You are a true warrior and our savior at the same time.
I can feel you😢😢, stay strong, God revealed their true face to you which is Narcissism and made you aware of it. Or else it'd be more depressing without the awareness about narcissists by thinking why they do what they do. My ex is a dark triad malignant narcissist and I'm a scapegoat child of Narcissistic father as well where God saved me from these two great evil forces 🙏
Many thanks for sharing your example and experiences. The difference between your videos and other people’s videos is that you don’t repeat what others said as if reading a theory, but you provide your insight and practical examples which help the audiences to resonate what they have experienced so far. I had a very same experience like you but it is worse, the narc almost assaulted me because I ignored him and he can’t stand it. He then pushed me to show me of his existence but I still ignored him. I felt scared and fear of being assaulted but if he did, I would have a proof/ witnesses to take legal action against him because it happened at work. I didn’t realise what was going through his mind until I watch your video today. May God bless you.😊
I really appreciate your videos. They certainly help to make some kind of sense out of the madness the narcissist puts you through. It's just so hard to stay quiet when being taunted and belittled nonstop😔
Totally agree; she could be the narcissist. That was my very first thought when you showed the video clip. It is an extremely common tactic of a nacissist, to provoke and then record the reaction of the victim. This could have easily been a scene from my relationship with my ex narc. The previous night she would have gone out and flirted with other men in front of my face at a bar. Probably engineered a situation where we had gone home separately. I would be completely distraught at what had happened and she would be revelling in the pain she had caused me. The next day, not say a single word as an apology and then be sitting there recording everything so as to show her friends the video and continue the process of smearing me. And she just sits there doing her makeup... She's getting everything she wants. It is a cold and calculated endeavour. The man is clearly upset in this video and yet still (if you listen to his words) saying some things that aren't narcissistic. He says that to him she is ugly inside. A narcissist would say that everyone thinks you are ugly, but he doesn't. He clearly says that to other people you may not be. Indeed, I am almost certain that this is a recording of a situation that has been orchestrated by a narcissist.
Bro its clear as day how entitled and immature can you be to record people's negative emotions while you do you're makeup for another man. Arguments are to be done behind closed doors because it's extremely unhealthy for the children she's obviously his narc and the voice we hear is cptsd she's wrecking his world inside our like Satan himself.
Agree with this take. They love to make us the monster. Like they unload their nasty self onto us, and say, "see? You're the worst. You're the problem." Then we are defeated in shame. All the more reason to be stoic and find an exit asap
Kong fu, tv show from the 1970s, How Cane talks in the show and behaves, is the same thing as you are saying. Fight only when needed not when someone is trying to control your emotions. Best wishes
My neighbor is constantly trying to trigger me. I've learned over the years about not reacting. He even uses his daughter in his charades against me. He's obviously trying to make me leave my home but I will not let him push me out. I rise above his games by ignoring and continuing to be happy in my life with my husband and the neighbor hates this.
Thank you Danish. What a beautiful approach by going into your own body. And keeping quiet. I walked away and the narcissist followed me with rage. And when I closed my door she went crazy and I was discarded right then and there. We had been friends for 2 years and there was less and less reciprocity from her. Actually there had never been reciprocity from her side if I look back. When trying to talk things over she reacted as though I had done this only to her and she condemned it instead of trying to understand each other reactions. It all was only about her and how I had done this to her. And still raging even days later. And I got the silent treatment for months. I apologized and wanted to try again. But again her rage was just too much for absolutely nothing important (hockey carpool) and I remained calm and her rage exceeded the first time. That was the moment I didn’t react and took myself out the carpool. And I’m still getting the silent treatment but I don’t mind anymore. It’s over. No friendship anymore for me. How can someone be so seemingly loving to you, and then become so hateful of you the next. Now you have answered that question for me. Thank you. I have another question though, how can I not attract narcissists anymore? (I have a narcissistic family of origin)
Not sure if they won't try you, but boundaries, saying NO at the gate, resisting the devil. They are serial beggars. It's funny to them. Look past them and don't acknowledge them. After a certain amount of abuse you will know the difference between God's people who need help and the fake ones.
Chaos was always present when he was here. There was no peace. Completely disrespectful of anything that was mine. He was constantly breaking something of mine or destroying it “ accidentally “ or “ he did know”. Danish , you are truly a recovery specialist! You have helped me so much this past year. God bless you.
I blurted out of annoying c9nnen5 and said you have one hell of a ego from hell that just won't quit , they also are aware I'm jumping in a Grey hound bus and heading way out onto a a whole new life! 2 weeks to go!!🎉🎉🎉🎉 I wear my earbuds all the time that protects my mind (shield) I have art work I'm focusing on and that gives me strong boundaries! ( energy protection) starve narcissist!! Freedom !! No emotional attachment at all , I'm a sigma empath (warriors) keep on keeping on out there! Thank you for videos!!
When I first became 'aware' I was being abused, your episode 'narcissists are evil' was a game change for me. I played it over and over and over. My abuser is in an adjacent apartment and he listens in on everything I do. I know this because he and his 'cohorts' repeat what I watch, what I post on facebook, and bully me through a technique of 'directed conversations' so I can hear them talking about me from the next apartment (we live in old thin walled apartment).I became aware of my 'situation' in March 2023 so I am just over 7 months into the abuse and awareness of it and I can't get away from my abuser right now as I cannot afford to move at this time...... I love this video and it perfectly fits in with the current growth stage I am in (not responding) and I am going to save it. I am finally starting to master the 'no response' and will watch this often! Thank you for your videos. 😘
I was gang attacked/bullied and stay low out of sight, anything you do just adds to the fire 🔥, I stood my ground and they've all moved, they're jealous of your lone wolf independence, they'll try to jerk your chain, just a game to them and they're dangerous, beware!
My Brother who stayed with me, expense free, became more and more dangerous. I think he didn't physically hurt me because he needed my taxi services to get him everywhere he needed to go. But tiptoing on eggshells became tiptoing over razor blades. If you need to stay where you are, you may see if you can switch a like/similar apartment if one becomes available. The journal suggestion is a wise one. Also be careful of their behavior. You may want to alert the office of your concerns. The more awareness you can make regarding your situation the more evidence you will have if a problem arises. Prayers and blessings.
I can never love a narcissistic person. It’s very unnatural for me. I suspect someone who works in my company is a narcissist. Her actions have created consequences towards a guy who has two kids and a wife to support. His kid had surgery. I have been feeling angry towards her behavior. She doesn’t get that people with families are at risk. Today I realized i just couldn’t be with someone like that. Not in friendship and in a love relationship. Luckily I have yet to work with a narcissistic boss.
It is very helpful to hear real life experiences and how you reacted. This helps me to see clearly where I can do the same. You did well to keep your system calm with the taxi driver. It would naturally trigger me to panic but in future I will go within, concentrate on breathing properly and staying present. So powerful 💯
Cut off emotional supply. Don’t react. Disengagement from cycle of trauma, drama and chaos. Don’t let them know what you feel, they lose control. Silence is biggest weapon. Don’t justify, react to accusation, explain, fight. Stay in your control. Ideally leave to be safe else ignore.
Wow! Thanks for this video because your experience exposed multiple things that have troubled me. The mumbling, talking under their breath is so common. You cant hear exactly. It is crazy making. The inability to ever say thank you from previous video is another. No wonder we feel exhausted. Saying Thanks to you is not enough bcs you actually save our sanity❤️🙏🏻❤️
It might be helpful if we had a local support system, or an advocate to accompany us in professional situations where we encounter narcissistic people.
True but it's not gonna happen. Even if it did, it would be infiltrated, infested and contaminated by "humble" covert narcs in no time. This entire WORLD is controlled by these freaks at the moment. They have cults such as free m@$onry to enable these bottom feeders to rise to the top.
Danish, as you mentioned a narcissist can actually turn violent. Your response as a man worked for you. As a woman, if a driver acted like that with me, what would you suggest? I don't take Uber for this reason. A neighborhood car service is the way to go for women, in my opinion. The dispatcher will give you and the driver the price and if the driver acts up for any reason, you can always get in touch with the car service and report the incident. Regards.
This is the most insightful advice I have seen in a long time, I deal with someone like this on an almost daily basis, I rarely respond and you are right, it will send them absolutely crazy. I believe they are devil created. The nice part of me believes it is a mental disorder, but that doesn’t mean I have to accept the vile behaviour and I don’t.
Somehow, considering them as a reptiles/demons seems more real to me, an extremely rational person) You're empathy doesn't let you to comprehend their behaviour. 😅
You are the absolute best at describing these individuals. I listen to no one else now.. you have described, over various videos exactly what I have gone through and experienced..these people, truly are evil. Thank you so much, you have made me realise it's not me..
2 Timothy 3 Understand that the last days will be dangerous times. 2 People will be selfish and love money. They will be the kind of people who brag and who are proud. They will slander others, and they will be disobedient to their parents. They will be ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, contrary, and critical. They will be without self-control and brutal, and they won’t love what is good. 4 They will be people who are disloyal, reckless, and conceited. They will love pleasure instead of loving God. 5 They will look like they are religious but deny God’s power. *Avoid people like this*
Love it!!! That metaphor if you wrestle with pigs you will be the only one that will not enjoy it because the pig will enjoy being down in the dirt and the mud. 😮 So True
Excellent examples. I also appreciated that you stated that you checked in with yourself first. As often stated, it sounds easier to do than it actually is. For me, when I first applied the "no reaction" method, I did not fully understand the psychology of it. Once I saw how well it actually works, then I was able to grasp a better understanding of the whys and wherefores. However, the best part of the complete lesson is being better able to understand oneself and your own emotions and gaining a better control within oneself; mastery of the self. This is the silver lining of interactions with a narcissist.
They are radioactive. So non-reactive is better because that raggedy demon wants the fire back. It's a mind game with real life consequences. Very low vibrational.
Thank you Danish for reenforcing this same technique that I've started using with my narcissistic daughter. She gets triggered easily. The only opinion that matters is her own. My father was a narcissist (my mom too to a lesser degree), and now I have a daughter, and daughter-in-law that display narcissistic traits. I feel that this world and it's culture give rise to more, and more narcissists.
You are a very bright man, you help me every day understand and respond to my narcissist properly so I can heal as I know this hopes of changing him or him getting help in zero to none which is a hard pill to swallow. You are exactly right in every situation that i have gone thru so I use your videos as a guide to for self help and lemme share you have the very best content over anyone else’s and I thank you!! I’ve educated him every day with the facts of his sickness however I know this is just temporary before his evil comes right back therefore I’m straightening my crown every day knowing I deserve better & I’ve become silent & distant which is sooo hard to do but it’s the best thing for me to do!!! Thanks ❤ blessings to you
You are right. Silence destroys a narcissist. The last encounter I had was actually quite comical because I knew he was trying to get under my skin and control me through my emotions but I was impenetrable to his agenda. I don't have anymore trouble with him because now he realizes he has absolutely no power over me and is wasting his time trying. He literally almost started crying like a little girl once I began laughing at his insults and judgements
I have a daughter-in-law that has a demon on her, she is very narcissistic. In the beginning of the relationship 9 years ago she did get a reaction out of me I actually moved 2 thousand miles away. I had to go no contact with my son for a couple of years cuz I couldn't it was actually making me very I could smell myself dying. Until I learned how to cope and heal I went back to the relationship. I visit once a year and she tries to push my buttons the whole time and I totally ignore it and I can see it's pissing her off but she gets no reaction. She tries even harder she lies against my name she's drugged me through the mud. I've just learned to accept it because I have two grandchildren I want to see. I'm quite sure until that demon is off of her this will continue.😢😢 I can't even talk to my son because he goes and tells her everything I say, that just puts a feather in her hat and I'm not going to do it.
My same situation!!!! Narcissism is tearing families apart!!! Life-altering!!! How do we stop this evil!!!??? The children 😢I ask God every day for guidance and to protect my son and grandson🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Yes..! Perfect ! I recently had guests at my place and she grabbed that opportunity to belittle and devalue me in front of them. She was saying all those false things about me and surprisingly I could keep quiet without reacting ( though with lots of efforts). On Seeing that there was no reaction from me she got restless and angrier and stared putting me down further. I calmly responded to her that it was her who think like that and not me and left the place. I was quiet surprised at myself that I was successful in not reacting to her comments. But... after couple of days she tampered my food in my lunch box which I had kept in the refrigerator at night with dirty water, which I realised the next day during my lunch time. In conclusion... It can turn dangerous as Danish just said. One always need to be careful when you have no choice but to live with such people.
I have done this some times in past with my mother, she started throwing stuff or tried to beat me , not tried she did beat me... Argument with her has been the most demonic thing ..
@@obscurum6 Sometimes confrontations are inevitable. The "no contact" mode is just temporary escape until you gather more financial, intellectual and mental strength.
@@obscurum6 No Contact is a good tactics but psychologically if you overuse it, it creates a negative habit which causes you to tend to escape every time you encounter signs of narcissism.
@@obscurum6 I don’t encourage being dependent adults. I, you and every other adult can stand on our own feet. We all have inherent potential, whether we believe or not. However, many people have already escaped their narcissistic parents only to bump into similar spouses or friends. Life will force confrontation, naturally, or else you may have your loved ones do that for you at their own expense.
There are many types of narcissists. Some are mentally and physically stronger and socially more powerful than us. They need to be avoided. Others are suffering but we can be empathetic and let them go since they have no considerable influence on our lives. There are also people who are socially and physically weak but they may be psychologically malicious and need to be careful; but quick and decisive confrontations are perfectly ok if you can outsmart them and stand firm.
#interestingly enough from what I noticed growing up with both parents being narcissistic is that behind closed doors they acted like me and my sister didn't exist. But on the outside world they would be Fake Nice and talkative to people to help maintain their reputation. 😢 everyone in the family was we only existed with my bio parents on birthdays and holidays. Once my Grandparents passed away no more get togethers
Someone stopped and glared at me today, too close to me, so I asked, "What are you looking at?" She went off completely! She even yelled, "Don't f--k with me!" What an over the top reaction! That's not normal! I walked away! Thankfully, a neighbor witnessed what happened and thought the other person overreacted too! She just stops and stares at people, looking catatonic, without saying anything. What is anyone supposed to do with that? I believe she's really a scared person, so she over compensates by being loud and aggressive. Walking away is the best thing I could have done!!!
A male neighbour just stood a grinned at me when I was unloading the car with shopping. He said nothing, just grinned. I thought I had a wardrobe malfunction, but no, he's just a N. He also went up a ladder in his back garden and when I turned around and looked up, again he was just grinning at me from on high. Later, my husband & I caught him prowling in our back garden, we challenged him only for him to say I thought you ought to know there's a prowler in the area! We ignore him, but he keeps baiting us. Unknown to him we have screenshots & dirt on him. Meantime, security is set up, boundaries strengthened and neighbours are aware.
Impossible to do when it’s a child you gave birth to and chooses to behave the same way their narcissistic father is and has manipulated them into. The ‘child’ is now 40. Lies to your face and behaves with intense cruelty
@@obscurum6 if only it was that simple. My contact is extremely limited but she uses others to continue with the cruelty while playing the victim. It was easy to do that with her father, all feelings were killed by him.
I'm afraid my 14 year old has his narcs way too, everyday I try my best to teach him right from wrong, luckily he doesnot spend a lot of time with his narc dad ❤
it is too late because they are a fully grown adult and choosing to make their own choices. if we take responsibility for our own part in having helped create where we find ourselves will help us to grow and heal. we just have to learn from our experiences to avoid having to going thru it again. we all make mistakes in life, taking responsibility is how we learn. I had to do this to wake up. God bless us.
It is hard to do, very painful but you MUST go NO Contact. If you put up with this behavior from a 40 year old it will only get worse. This is NOT your fault. This is an adult abusing you. Go no cntact!
Also, by not responding, it gives you and extra edge due to the fact that you ARE honest. Idk about any of you but in times past when I actually do respond to the Narcs BS, I have gotten so very angry that I could look like the narc (just as that video you shared). He gets to tell everyone that I am crazy (which I was). The volcano erupted, if you will...it was all suppressed and when I let that cap off...it quite surprised me. I'm learning to not hate and to not even love (he is unlovable- who he really is anyway). I am stuck with him for now and for now - I know I can be nonresponsive for the sake of our two small children. I now know how toxic my responses can become and I dont want that cap coming off EVER again! So? For now, I literally have to see him as a chair in the room...it wont be easy sense my babies value him and I have a moral compass. In fact, this will literally be the most difficult thing I will conquer but my children are worth it. To keep peace in my now temporary situation, this is the core strength I need. Dont let him see what I am feeling...ignore and be calm, be smart, never let my guard down. ❤ Thank you for making this video! As always, very insightful and right on time. God is using you to help me navigate my way out of an impossible situation. Many blessings !
It’s called *Gray Rocking* My ex used to violently verbally abuse me for years. I got to the point where I stopped responding. I took back my power because I didn’t react. I stopped taking it personally because I realized this was more about him than me. I wish I had known this years before all the abuse started so aggressively. I can think all the way back to the beginning. How crazy it was! He’s a miserable little man!
Not Responding to Their Accusations, Manipulations, etc is termed 'Gray Rocking'. This is suggested for times when You have to Communicate with a Narcisstic Family Member, etc. I like that You compared this to viewing as a chair! I will Definitely Remember this.
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
The ones who are for you know not to entertain them. They are monkeys. Real musty and raggedy as hell. They smear everyone. It's part of the "I'm going to hell" package.
@reesedaniel5835 Exactly what I experienced. I knew there were lies being spread about me, BUT it was years before I slowly realized I was 100% sure who was actually responsible for it. It's the worst when you realize it's somebody that you would least expect to publicly smear you. It's one thing to harbor deep resentment, but to publicly smear is another.
Danish! This is so inspiring!!! This is what all in recovery need to learn! The moment that you paused, recognized, calmed yourself and took control of your own side is actually the moment that you won. The driver is insignificant, you had already won. This just makes me smile and aspire to have such clarity when the everyday moments of dealing with narcissism come up!!!
Our last day together...I drove my Narcissist boyfriend crazy .... He was sooo angry at me...He started yelling , screaming, hollering , in total rage...Everytime he said something, I smiled at him...Gave him soft spoken answers...Its not that I was afraid of him...I did that to mess with his head...He tried and tried to make me upset...But I would not let him...I told him in a sarcastic tone of voice, to calm down...Because he was going to make his blood pressure rise...Cause his hemorrhoids flare up...Have a diabetic episode...Cause his gout to act up...He was soooo angry...Because I was hitting him, where he didn't want to get hit...They have a need to feel as if they are always winning...Wellll he didnt win that...To this day he hates me, because of that...I won that...That was one of the happiest days of my life...
Awesome job on how you handled that driver. Silence has been working for me with my father, who has lived with me for ovet 20 years because i needed help with my children, and they (he and my mother were in need of housing). Now, he wants to get me to help him with my mom when he is able to do it himself. Plus,I have to work. I let him know that giving them shelter is all i can do, and i will do nothing else. Any other help down the road he has to get else where and get to know some new people which he doesn't want to do but he doesn't have any choice. He wants to argue about it, but i consistently avoid it. Narcissistic people are so ungrateful. Like you say, a bottomless pit.
Easy to beat a narcissist tell them that's fine it's time for you to move on move forward the look on there face deep inside you've destroyed there manipulation there pissed off which means they do have feelings for you but u just walk away after saying move on move forward
This is exactly why you absolutely NEED to get away from the Narcissist & NEVER go back again. Nobody should need to hear all that abuse on a daily basis.
I disagree with the shame. Narcists dont have shame. They are actually only afraid of being caught. Only afraid of being publicly deminished and deemed less powerful. Shame requires guilt, self consciousness, and empathy. They have none of those. And will do the same exact things if given an oppurtunity. Shame would not allow them to repeat the same mistakes over and over.
Dry ??? No they just move on and never looks back.Why do you You Tube channel say they come back and it drive them crazy ...No they have talked and lies about they don't care never did.
They do come back... Going through it now... Divorce on the way and this fool still trying to play his evil games... Been separated almost 2 years... He won't stop.. getting a order of protection sick of it...
You may not do all this if you: 1. Still think that the narc LOVES you. 2. Still think that the narc THINKS like you. 3. Still think they will CHANGE. Fix the above delusions and silence/grey rock will occur naturally.
YES!! Narcissists can be truly unremarkable in their mimicry and limited social skills. When you go grey rock, they have to find a new target. A serious mental disorder of which there is no treatment. Self awareness doesn't cure a narcissist either.
Thank you Danish you have certainly helped me to understand what am dealing with. I knew somethings were definitely wrong but couldn’t figure it out since am married to a Christian husband. It’s been horrible. A literal devil at home and a humble saint in church. OMG extremely confusing behaviors
Narcissistic Rage is one of the most freighting experiences I have ever experienced. I was in my thirties and I had seen a lot, but the rage was terrifying since it was so sudden and extreme.
@@reesedaniel5835 if I may also add, weapons and when I asked why she wanted to stab me she said after that she was only trying to scare me. As a trained person I know that we don’t pick up or expose our weapon unless we intend to use them. Bloody frightening. Thank you for your reply.
What drives narcissist crazy from personal experience is when you tell them the truth about themselves, and you actually expose them to their face boy how they go crazy and another way that drives the narcissist. Crazy is the gray rock method and another thing that drives them crazy is when you are not intimidated by them at all and when you’re not intimidated by the narcissist, they become intimidated so for my personal experience to beat a narcissist for real, you must plan your exit strategy in a way where they don’t see it coming real talk
I understand, but kids do better with both parents in the home. This is an irrefutable fact. Years of statistics are available on this topic. Mom and dad are both equally important in a child's life. The idea that your child doesn't need to be around their father because you personally don't like him. That sounds pretty narcissistic to me. You liked him enough to have sex and make a child. Right? Convicted murders are allowed to see their children but narcissistic folks cannot? That doesn't make sense. Having a Narcissistic Personality Disorder isn't a crime. They're just asshole people with low self esteem.
Meh. Not hatin! Kinda the opposite: It's just, You have so many gifts of razor-sharp, *actually practical* insight, & you've made available the best guides out there on true, specific healing from Narc abuse and trauma bonds; Just gently cautioning here against letting your platform & power--and our well-earned trust--become a personal journaling/venting podium. Detailing, for us, a conflict with a creepy, scary, thieving jerk of a cab driver--which could have gone any of a dozen ways, depending upon his level of craycray, and upon what he felt he had to lose that day-- Seems a bit like wasting (& maybe weakening?) your own keen insights. Also, in our current, effed-up world, while Narcissistic behavior is *epidemic,* with so many ppl merely on the Narcissistic scale doing so much damage through everyday shitty behavior-- even without being worthy of a full-on personality-disorder diagnosis-- It's just a fact that not every aggro, selfish a-hole who crosses paths with us is clinically a "Narcissist;" Some are just jerks &/or habitually abusive bullies, some are having a bad day & taking their stress & pain out on someone else; some are non-Axis-II-disordered but traumatized (by abuse, etc.), and are reacting to an emotional-flashback trigger with sudden incoherent rage; Some are deeply dangerous (or, sometimes, creepy but mostly harmless) sociopaths or psychopaths. Many folks who shock us with mean and weird behavior, though--whatever their diagnoses could be-- are (more importantly) armed, and/or on the edge of homicide/suicide. With randos like an unhinged, enraged cab driver, a more helpful video might focus on how to 1) assess danger level 2) understand situational power imbalance & how it limits options 3) accept the unknowns, & 4) detach, to act in a way that makes survival of the encounter most likely rather than how to satisfyingly infuriate an unpredictable rando (🫣) or "beat him (a hostile, unwell cab driver, who could easily kill an unfortunate target with rage-driving, gun violence, etc.?) at his own game."
I recently just cut ties with a narcissist. I deleted his number and I’m avoiding him at all costs. I didn’t realize what he has been doing to me. My energy has been depleted and he’s been playing head games with me (In order to feed his ego). When I didn’t give him something he wanted he got mad and started blaming me. I didn’t want to lose the friendship so I found myself apologizing all the time and going over and beyond to show I care. Well that has backfired because now he is acting like nothing is his fault and left me feeling totally insecure and questioning everything I’ve ever said or valued. When I tried to talk to him again he just says I’m overthinking. Now after cutting ties each day I’m realizing he was never my friend and he never cared. I think he was just using me to stroke his ego 😢
Thank you so much for your great advice! I've been married for 46 years and discovered my husband is a narcissist. Apparently the older they get the worse their narcissism gets.
Wow I can’t tell you how I needed this video, like right now. Just had a family reunion and for first the time, think I beat my older, golden child ,Narc sister at her own game and it feels really nice!
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Here is the link to all my best resources:
beacons.ai/narcabusecoach/
🗝️ Bestest vid yet! 🔑
I love your videos. That you have gone through these things yourself, I feel gives you a perspective other coaches don't have. I would love for you to do a video on calming techniques that can be used in the midst of a narcissistic onslaught. In the past my reactivity has gotten the better of me, and in the case where physical violence was often the end result, that reactivity became a danger to my own safety. My logical brain knew this, but my primal brain was the one taking over. I feel I was missing the key component to disengaging enough to even check in with myself, it often happened so fast.
@ThatMontanaMom they will keep pushing and pushing until you react. All calculated. I now remove myself from their presence. Tell them they just gave you a case of explosive diarrhea 😅 and run for your life.
They get really mad when you call out their shadi.....ness. Also, they see empaths as weak and not intelligent. They want what they want (usually our wallet). Face turned red (embarrassment b/c you caught him). Imagine if you asked him if he gives his money away? (I actually said that to one who thought i was naive lol). Notice base pruce is never less lol? He was used to people just payimg whatever they say. Was in a relationship with one who turned into a monster when I tried to get back what was mine (which was futile in the end). His fury told me what the whole relationship was all about. I'm glad you perservered, Danish. He was probably afraid you would report him. Glad he didn't turn the tables and gaslight you into oblivion. Also it's good they have surveillance now to keep us safe. Good thing you were able to check on the fare. I usually become afraid when they get mad... which is exactly what they want.
@narcabusecoach what to do if the abuser is an 85 year old mom who has no one else?
I believe to defeat a narc, you need to stop caring what they think. Be true to yourself and your feelings. Set boundaries!
🦄It was much easier to ignore him when I started cheating....Alot.
@robinwelch2265 way to make yourself look like a pos. Narc partner or not cheating is cheating. Letting the narc change your own morals....who really wins?
Okay, thank you for the advice. I think this is the way. Its not easy though but I believe it can help you.
YES!!!!
And tell them that. it doesn't matter to them but that way you're not going to be held accountable for what you do to them. 😈😅
I had a raging female narcissist boss once. I ignored her rages and her door slams and kicking her trashcan. The more I ignored her, the more angry she became. One day she leaned over my desk and physically threatened me. I walked out and filed charges on her. Never said a word to her. She got 2 weeks suspension.
How was she around you when she came back? Did she behave?
I had a raging narc coworker once solicit me to commit fraud. I immediately went to the company owners and gave my notice, and explained why. I was kept on the payroll and given a private office while looking for work. The insurrectionists were all fired.
Lol. I wanna meet a narcissist woman actually, because most woman, men are afraid of me. Because I have a cold aura in my presence. If an narcissist insult me, I give a cold stare and don’t react at all and make her uncomfortable by my stare. I think the reason why you attract an narcissist is, you’re empathic, that’s my guess, it’s easier to hurt you, narcissists can read people, remember that. I am not empathic person in real life for example this is why I don’t meet an narcissist. I am cold, indifferent, callous person….Narcissist are pathetic, insecure individuals. I can break them so easily….
it´s always fighting for power.
@@JamFlava1Focus on you don't get in the game, suppressive people are miserable
It resonates with me so strongly. Narcisists surround themselves with enablers who turn a blind eye to their evil, manipulative actions and they will attack and persecute anybody who holds a mirror to show them what they are actially doing and how wrong it is. Our silence is powerful and it often speaks louder than words. Thank you Danish❤ God bless you❤
Wish I could give ur comments more thumbs up honestly
I did Not hardly speak with my narcissist for 2 + years except to say “please pass the salt….” All the while I wanted so badly to divorce him and be done with it all, but I kept praying and crying out to God to please deliver me and do something about him. Well, my silence spoke volumes and we are still together but I limit my time I spend with him. I spend as much time as possible with my real friends who aren’t and never were fakes. I’ve educated myself with videos similar to this one and. Now I know when he’s looking for supply. I do not engage in ANY of the arguments he starts and I keep myself under control and emotionally cold when he’s nearby. This is the only way it works and yes, for a while there he was very angry. But after 2 years, he figured out that he’d better treat me with kindness (like he did when we dated and were engaged) or it was going to be a very lonely existence!
This is SO true! I once dated a guy who’s family thought he was the sweetest man alive. Soon as I called him out on his evil ways, he attacked me with his words because he knew he was in the wrong.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🤍
@@Catalinameyerofficial I think they just don't the work on themselves. On their insecurities, they don't accept who they are and instead of working on themselves they just wear this mask that they thought that would be acceptable to other people where they can get love. I am become toxic too before and I am still working on that negative side of me. Fighting them would be stressful and pointless. But I think giving everyone understanding and be compassionate will help. Ofc, always have strong boundaries, know them well, be vigilant but not paranoid and protect yourself because we don't know what kind of demons we are facing.
The only thing about not reacting is that it sometimes leads to escalation. Ignoring someone you don't live with is easy. If you live with a hard core narcissist it could get really bad. Yes they will get upset but their instinct is to attack you. A victim not reacting "properly " is totally unacceptable. To really make this work safely it's best to quietly escape. Permanently.
Problem is we share a child. She constantly is doing 1upmanship. It’s easy to defeat. All you gotta do is live a happy life, but it sucks because it’s a constant battle when dealing with them.
@yes.sir. Totally understand. I was forced to sacrifice much of my life in order to protect my children. I've been abused in every conceivable way. There are times when we have to choose between what's best for us or what's best for our children. The experts will always tell us it's better to leave and it is but there is always a price to be paid and somtimes it's too high. It won't always be like this. When your time comes don't hesitate. Narcissists don't change they just try to present a new temporary version of themselves to get you to stay.
@@allentempleton2429 I’m at the stage where I feel super human. My narc knows they have zero control over me. I have called out their bs eloquently while remaining calm and emotionless. Not just pretending they have no control, but knowing they have no control and walking away always feeling empowered.
This has turned my narc into a dangerous stage of devaluation. She claims she knows these things about me she is going to expose and just making flat out crazy claims. According to the experts, this is the final stage so hopefully it’s over soon.
The best revenge is live a happy life.
I was calling a "robot and condescending"as i was trying to detach. As i have a disability, no family and depend on him as i live in a small place in his property, i had to backtrack and appease him. I keep a polite attitude and if i share emotions is something i dont care much about. He is very covert and loves the charitable image of "keeping me"the crazy ex...i have my old dog, no savings, parkinsons disease and we have a housing crisis. I need support and strategies.
@HekateMoonLight I feel your pain. Both you and I are what is called financial prisoners. We survived the abuse and basically ended the relationship but our financial situation holds us in a sort of limbo. I myself live in a large, run down Victorian house that my former abuser also lives in. The cost to live here is far less than any apartment in the area. The house is sufficiently large that we both have our own living quarters. If either one of us decides to leave we would be unable to find independent living. At my age and with my health conditions there's no way I will ever make considerably more money so here I am. Half way between Heaven and Hell. I wish I had an answer for you. I try to keep my sanity by exercising, keeping in touch with friends and working as much as my health allows. I try to find joy in simple things. I have stopped wishing for things that are out of my reach and try to find something to be thankful for every day. Unfortunately there are too many days when I am full of regret for allowing myself to fall into this trap. I'm sure you have days just like that as well. Please know you are not alone. I prey you and I will find a way to be happy.
"A cycle of trauma,drama, and chaos" is exactly what narcissists revel and excel at, like an expert puppeteer.
That’s exactly right & I’ve never understood it. Spent Way too much time worryin about it. Still don’t Get it.
It is better to not “play into it at all” THEY don’t fear using the things that you hold most dear just to get a quick fix.
It’s best to keep your mind, body and emotional state of being clean and sober.
In all ways
Well said
💯👍 Remain calm, show no emotion and continue your day. It drives them over the edge. 😂
Facts!
Took a screen shot of this! Thanks!
💯 it's all about controlling your emotions, watching you, and gauging what you're thinking and feeling, for nothing more than their narcissistic sadistic pleasure.
@caroleminke6116 😊 The narc couldn't handle it. My emotions were played with constantly, and the therapy (and no contact) is helping me feel again.💞
ItS so freaking awesome when they try to get to your emotions and you don’t have any. 😂 welcome to my world of Schizotypal disorder. ❤
@undercoverbird8592 I certainly noticed psychosis in people with NPD, but thankfully, I do not suffer from psychosis. My healing is more like a journey, to find the truth in every human encounter. Sometimes it's easier to keep a distance from people and any forms of deception. The knowledge and therapy help me come to better peace with my environment reflecting rather than analyzing. 😅❤️
No response sounds really good
It's not always about pleasure if they aren't sadists. It's about using you as there own thermostat. They probably came from a family where that was normal. Using the most empathetic person to help regulate themselves and they aren't even aware they do it or why. The ones who are high level know why and are aware but have turns it into a sick game and are high on dark triad spectrum and super malignant and sneaky. They are the most dangerous ones. The ones who are having a bad day and you can say you know what, I didn't mean to get you upset but I think it's a fair question to ask why $2, using the cab example, are the ones that aren't so malignant IF they take a deep breath and say ya know I understand now, I'm sorry it was a mistake and don't drive like a maniac. So my advice is to go stoic after at least one or two attempts fail and you have spotted more red flags. But everyone needs to choose what's best for themselves without changing too much of themselves in response to narcs and other types of toxic behavior because that means they win that way too, when you become less you. It's not always so cut and dry like he says when talking about the other video we always need context and without it we just have to look out for ourselves and set some boundaries because no one else is doing it for us now we are adults. 🕊️
Thank you Danish for this Video. Just like the Bible says in 1. Peter 5:8 Be self-controlled and vigilant always, for your enemy the devil is always about, prowling like a roaring lion looking for ist prey.
Know this also what men will be like when time ends...lovers of self, covetous, without conscious, boastful,proud,fierce,blaspheme,jigh minded,heedy,back biting,without natural affection, having forms of godliness never knowing where it comes, false accusers...There are 28 specific demonic states. The last is diver lusts or witchcraft. Makes you wonder...
I wonder if everybody has a possibility to be narcy at some point in life?
@@deirdremorris9234 test your intentions.
@@deirdremorris9234 Narcs are the seed of Cain. See Genesis 3:15 and Psalm 58:3-5. Also the Parable of the Wheat (normal humans) and Tares (Narcs) in the Book of Matthew. All of us have sinned and fallen short of God's glory, however, narcs have chosen to go along with evil/wickedness to give them power over others.
@@reesedaniel5835 I had to go no contact with my sister who is a Christian. Constant IBS, anxiety, exhaustion. Turns out, she never liked me!!!
"Accusations are confessions." Beautifully said. I'm proud of you for the way you handled that cab driver.
Yes, amazing cab driver experience to share and great job, I probably would have gone a step further and called the company to express my concern regarding fraudulent cab charges.
This is why narc cheaters Always accuse you of cheating and then say good defense is offense and I'm like um. No it's projection and secret confessions...they always tell on themselves IF you just listen to them and realize and be patient. The crazier they accuse them you know they are capable of just that thing and that's when you run and don't look back. Some narcs are sadistic and malignant in ways more like ASPDs. Those are too dangerous to grey rock
They talk about themselves through talking about you. They also make confessions in jokes.
Yes!!
"Accusations are confessions."💡💡💡You handled that well, Danish.
Yes ❤.
Bang on this comment! 👏
@@bubblesSqueak3895 🌞🤗👋
A narcissist an only control you if they can control how you feel and your reactions!!!… spot on!!!!❤️❤️❤️💯💯👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..
Stupid advertisement. Gtfo of here.
"They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle." Thank you for this. Needed it today. He used his new gf to come after me (via text on his phone) and initially I felt sorry for her, but today I realized she's as crazy and narcissistic as he is, or close to it from my encounters with her. Gaslighting, threatening me, etc.
I see (now) how everything he says to me is projection. Everything. He often says "GROW UP!" or "You are delusional and crazy". "You're psychotic" etc. I never believed any of that stuff, but I couldn't understand how he hated me so much after everything I gave him - emotionally and more. Again, all projection. I spent a lot of time looking at myself saying "it takes two". But there was no self-reflection with him. They are perfect for each other and I no longer feel bad for her. They will cheat on each other, guaranteed. Because she is so insecure, just like him. They will fight for years if they do last, and stonewall, gaslight, the whole narc spectrum. I am lucky to be out, but still processing my anger at the wasted time caring about someone who hid their narc and sociopathic traits so well at first. Until it all unraveled.
@@WalksfortheSoul77ugh I relate to your comment. We just broke up a couple days ago for the last time. I’m trying my best to stay away. And I’ve been so afraid cuz I know he’ll get a new gf as soon as he realizes I’m really not coming back. Just trying to brace myself so it doesn’t hurt so much and I can not be jealous of her because I know all this. Just breaks my heart about the wasted time and I really did love him. Still I hope maybe one day he wakes up and we find our way back. I see his true soul and that’s who I love but I even love his mask. I’ll forever love him but I can never be with him unless he seriously changes and is seeking help..
@@taelyrlazke473 It gets easier to stay away from the toxic ex over time. The hardest part is right after it. The first month or two. But most of all the first few weeks is the most painful part. Hang in there. It does ease up and I hope you have someone to talk to about all this. I leaned on a good friend heavily in the beginning especially. Some friends just can't cope with you not moving on right away. That's their issue. It does take healing yourself and time. These are not normal relationships to get over. Trauma bonding, etc. They use that new girlfriend to get back at you and often it is more about hurting you than it is the new person. That is not the type of people we want to be in a relationship with. They can only be happy when you are in pain, so I'm not signing up for that anymore. And yes, I still love and care for him despite all of it. But I also love myself and want more in my life than the emptiness that is inevitable with a narcissist.
@@taelyrlazke473 i can relate gurl i feel u, i wish they could even feel love or love us back but i don't think they are capable of it. it's like falling in love with something that isn't even real, mourning something that was never there
My last relationship with a narcissist, I told him we should start recording our conversations like a podcast [so he could hear his demonic-possessed tantrum outbursts], but at first he wanted to sound sane so he would change his tone when we were both recording, but eventually he couldn’t even keep THAT mask on 😭😂 I laugh about it now bc I’m safe.
This is what I'm going through right now. Friends pray for me
Haha this is so funny, that's so intelligent & creative 😂
I threatened to record him. He threw a tantrum! He deliberately broke things in front of me. I never reacted. He threw water all over my wood stove, hearth and hardwood floor. I just cleaned it up while he followed me with his black eyes, arms crossed over his chest. No response....
My older Brother walked off to the bedroom and shut the door.
Then came major destruction.... I'm still repairing me, yes the PTSD from the trauma, and my home, tools, farm equipment....I nicely asked him if he was prepared to repair what he damaged. He raged.
He's gone and blocked.
@@wanjiitheequiin850🕊️my prayers to you for God's peace and protection 🙏🙏🙏🫂
Good for you❤
Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
Hello! One of the best things that happened in my marriage with a narcissist, the love disappeared sooner then I thought could be. In fact I never really loved him, we got married so soon because this is one of their strategies, to lock you in asap. This is a huge account for me, I didn’t suffer emotionally, I ran from him, in one afternoon while he was in a court meeting. I drove from Georgia to California by myself running from a narcissist dangerous man. I escaped alive luckily. But the story didn’t finish easily. This has been the most tragic experience in my life, he almost killed me poisoning my drinks and food for long time, I was getting sick and didn’t know exactly what was, then, my intuitions started working. Long story.
Sounds very familiar, except I wasted almost 20 years on a never-ending emotional roller-coaster ride.... We are better off without the stress 🎉
If you are with a narcissist, no trick helps. You have to listen or else. There were times when he imitated me, criticised, belittled, humilated, insulted, lied, .... for hours, 4--5 hours, for months. He would sit across from me, and insult me in every way he could. I could never think of so many insults, and for such a long time. If I raised my head, he would say - oh, you're proud. And I had to bend down my head again and listen. I wasn't allowed to look at the TV. Finally, I would break down and cry and he still wouldn't stop. I'm crying now because I remembered how I felt then. God, have mercy on us, the victims
It sounds like you are done with him. Take care of yourself ❤
You are strong now, stronger than ever
@@5gx673 Yes, I left him on the 3rd of Aug this year and I'm 64.
@@zorabujaroska3645i also left narc 5th august 2023, same situation, listening to all kinds of insults, but at one point I was "wtf" and then confronted him "think what you want I dont care" , but trully to see him that on my face that i'm serious and he stopped
It's your blind love and your dependence on them that you tolerated his bullshit.. learn that now and become financially and emotionally independent! And never never go back to them again because they somehow try to Hoover you back again into their life once they see your life is getting better after leaving them . This time you need to be strong and reject them straight away
Absolutely relatable. Each time you try to talk to them about some issue, they take everything as a personal attack and will become defensive and will try to double down and twist the worlds and make it about them
Yes, and then blame shift
Yep
So true!!!
Bingo!
It's dangerous to be quiet.
My ex and even my adult kid physically attacked me bc I was quiet. My kid was screaming at me that she hates when I am quiet.
I am so exhausted for many years.
My ex past away 4 years ago and I still deal with the flashes of abuse. And now I am with another abuser.
What the he'll is wrong with me. I just cannot believe it. BTW I grew up with nars parents too. I realized that I don't know what is normal.
Sir, last few months I am learning from you to understand about this evilness. Thank you for opening my eyes. God bless you 🙏 ❤
You are right! A narc would rather unalive a person than be exposed. It's dangerous to be around them. Going no-contact is the only safest way.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Just keep remembering you don't deserve it. You are conditioned as a child. And so you fall into these patterns repeatedly and it's not your fault. Just know that you're worthy and it's not your fault. You can't know what normal is when your conditioned that way as a child. The blame is on the abusers and you need to always remember that. There is nothing wrong with you for repeating a pattern that you learned as a child. You learn survival techniques as a child. And now you're an adult and you have to put those survival techniques in place in a different way. Because I agree with you sometimes the most dangerous thing is to stay quiet. What I learned with my rageful father was many things. I could never afford to panic. Because panicking and losing control of my emotions meant that I was putting myself at great risk. At risk of being killed. So in his face went red my first instinct would be to run. But sometimes you can't run. You can't run when you're in a car. You can't run when you're trapped physically. And during those times my brain would slow down and everything would be in slow motion and I would be in control of my reactions. And I would diffuse him and I later learned how to diffuse many other narcissists. I would defuse them instead of being silent because being silent can get you killed. I would say whatever I needed to say whatever they needed to hear I would denigrate myself for them. I would tell them how stupid I was how I had made a mistake by saying something that upset them how important they were. I would defuse them until I could get away safely. I never believed any of the things I said to them. I never walked away in shame. I walked away proud that I had escaped yet another time. There are many techniques that we have to use to stay safe to protect ourselves. Sometimes staying silent and not engaging is the best possible thing to do it just depends on the type of person you're dealing with. When you're in a car I don't think you can ever take that risk. They get so riled up and you're at their mercy and you have no idea what will happen. Just keep telling yourself that you're not to blame for their abuse. You didn't cause it. It's not personal. You don't deserve it. And and you do have to get away and you have to get away safely. Peace and healing to you. You have a struggle ahead of you. You've made it this far and that means that you're strong. Put all your skills to use You will need every one of them. Just remember you are still here for a reason. Because you knew how to keep yourself safe
@@lexbestI’m sorry you have to go through that. Yes, that part that you tell them it’s your fault , you are horrible person, apologies how wrong you are just to escape when you were trapped is what most people in narcissistic relationship ship goes through. The part that you said you don’t believe anything you say to them is good. I always see it as whatever they do or say got nothing to do with the us but it’s just person they are.
@@lydiabeg7387 yes, it's just who they are and nothing to do with us. Peace and healing to you 💜
Once you learn get so angry let them treat like that gaslight me and I lose my shit on who does it hate narc's
They LOVE when you lose your cool! It makes them validated in their sick minds!
Danish, you are a most impressive warrior.
👑👑👑
Man, if THAT ain't the truth...he's a goddamn WARRIOR.
We all love you, Danish!
I happened to name my son Owen, then hoping it didn't mean "Beautiful man" or something nerdy I learnt it means "Young warrior", he's 25 now and I couldn't be prouder!
Yes TY Danish!! I’m Pretty Sure I’ve Had 3 In A Row Now But They Can Sure Take Alot Of Your Time Until Their Mask Falls Off. Then You See It And It Gets Scarier
Definitely Pushing Buttons, Hurting Your Feelings On Purpose Cause They Know What Does Cause Were Pure And They Are Wanting To Be But Then Figure Out They Can Be Heartless
That was a great example with the taxi driver. Indifference and silence has literally saved me from more narcissistic abuse. “you are nothing to the narc and when you no longer respond to them their is an energy shift in the dynamic of the relationship and now they experience being NOTHING to you.” This makes them feel annihilated. They attach themselves to you by your emotional response. Getting under your skin as the expression goes. Game over once you’ve achieve a high level of stoicism .
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporesss
"narcissist's accusations are confessions". SO TRUE!!!
That is so true. Everytime I got accused of something, I would say, "look in the mirror".
I have taken the MBCT course which deals with emotional regularity and was able to navigate a relationship for quite some time 5 years with a borderline/narcissist. He threw at me every trick in the book, I never took the bait. I don't think he could figure out what was going on. I was so non-reactive, in the end he blew the entire relationship up but I was quite proud of myself for never ever losing it and staying calm among the chaos. He will probably never experience anything like that again. I will forever be a mystery and thats the way I like it. Our and at peace. Reacting is like throwing kerosene on a fire, don't do it.
👏Way to go! This is precisely what Jesus Christ meant when He said "turn the other cheek"......(don't give them the reaction they want!!).
I also did the nonreact technique. It really does work. He walked out in me several months ago. Probably the best and safest for me! He literally leaves if I see him somewhere. I think he’s scared of me bc he can’t figure me out. He knows I’m very smart so he doesn’t think I’m stupid. See? He can’t figure it out why I’d not react At All !!!
I enjoy smiling at them without saying a word 😂 But i also know how to physically handle them if needed.
😂😂 yup
Jus watch your back ,they sneaky...
@soulTraveller144 fight them with intelligence. First figure out the problem then you will figure out how to solve it.. And most of all have no worries
Ignoring them could work. However, it does feel a bit freeing to shout at their face and throw all their lies and BS at them. My narc mother is forever playing the victim card. Then goes into rages if you don't give her what she wants or do as she say. I think karma is working on her now because she's constantly sick. That's what you get for constantly manipulating people to feel sorry for your myriad "conditions". Maybe her body finally decided to really deteriorate since she loves to pretend to be sick so much.
😂🤍
But I have a question.. listening to you I was imagining myself in such a situation..but along with happiness of defeating the wrong I felt the panic of being attacked in deepest part within my ribs ..it was so brave of you 👏👌
I did exactly what you are saying Danish, and that made him even bolder in lots of ways to degrade and humiliate me. I jumped on board with that sentiment wryly, as I continued to be calm and peaceful in his presence. Eventually I got debilitating IBS, anxiety and depression. This I’m still working through, however I’ve been free of the physical contact for a year and life is bringing joy to me. The only way out is through, and it has been my life for my entire life, since childhood. It’s a long road and I’m glad I’m finally travelling it 🙏🥰
Good job
Oh, I wanted to ask someone if they got IBS after living with a narcissist. I got the answer now🙏
It just gives me delight to hear you talk truth about narcissists. 🤣 Thank you.
I was diagnosed with PTSD, Major depression, fibromyalgia, and adrenal fatigue several years ago.( 5-6 years ago) and I never understood the PTSD diagnosis. It’s just been within the past two years I get it ! Not a single counselor addressed it. I had developed behavioral patterns (symptoms ) as a result of being in a 12 year relationship with a
narcissist and not a single therapist addressed it. Without going into detail about my 12 year relationship with a narcissist, having two children with him, I’m learning why these changes in my behavior have developed I’ve been following different counseling persons on RUclips that have helped me recognize why I am the way I am now and I’m learning how to work through so many different emotions and situations. I can honestly say that having found Danish on RUclips has been a Godsend. Danish has been on point with so many of his explanations on recognizing and working thru life after living with a narcissist.
I will most definitely refer him to many !
Thank you Danish for being short and to the point on these topics ❣️
When a Narcissist is caught badly,if we react to what they’ve done to us they cross blame,act like we are creating an unnecessary drama,tell us we don’t have such rights on them or we never had,try to make us look like we are too immature and try to drag every weakness of us so that we should feel the lowest that time and also try to guilt trip us so badly that whatever they’ve done should look like nothing just to satisfy their ego ! Never share your personal life with them it’s the biggest mistake one could ever do because when the time comes they will use it against you to put you down and put u on guilt.May god watch their every step and stop every good human being to be a victim of them.May realisation and Karma hit them so hard that they know the value of god and good human beings around them.May they all be mentally ill so that they can never make another person mentally ill anytime🙌🏻🙏🏻don’t feel bad if they’ve fooled you with lies once, God will fool them so badly one day that they can’t use their smart brain anymore to fool a good person or to drain anyone mentally or emotionally.
You are doing an amazing job Danish❤️May god bless you🙌🏻
The abuse causes stress, the deadliest disease there is.
Well said 💯
Just last week this fool told me that’s why all those dudes before left you. I laughed and said but you’re still here, so your calling yourself stupid? He was trying to to make it look like I’m crazy and nobody want me but him. Just dumb. I stick with him tho because, he’s not crazy crazy. I know he had a bad upbringing and he had to develop a way to game people otherwise he felt like he would not have anything. But as I’m making him aware of what of what he is doing, whether he likes it at the time or not God can heal anyone. Everyone writes how they can’t change. That’s a lie, a person who truly follows Christ knows that you have to have changed heart. You can no longer be out to serve yourself. Think narcissist as a term is thrown around to much much for people who just live in their flesh. You gone do what the flesh want you to do. But when you die to yourself and pick up your
cross and follow the guidance of the father, you WILL become a new person. People! Don’t let no one tell you otherwise tell you otherwise
Yes but the one I know keeps telling me what a good christian he is, & quotes the Bible,as he goes about destroying anyone he can use & destroy.He delights in it & shruggs it off saying we are all fallen ?? He though belives in Jesus & is going straight to Heaven.Its a mental problem. Its an evil problem as he continually thinks he can do & say whatever he wants & because of his religious beliefs (which others in that church too think) ; all they have to do on death bed is cry out to Jesus & their saved.What hyprocrisy.This gives licence to his horrible ways.Just get free of them totally if you can, or at least keep them at bay.When your the one to use & destroy ,they unleash their full rotteness on you.Not those however where they thrive on being Mr nice good guy or shiela,& will do small things to elevate their status amoungst that group,whilst gaslighting you there too.There is no good end to it.
Their sub human cruel ,usuarious & totally for themselves & to look good in the main arena. They are callous, mercilous, stressful, dangerous,threatening dishonest -wanting everthing you have & demanding it, while they degrade you.Just plain dreadful...And costly $$$!
They are evil. Keep clear.
Surely they carn"t go to heaven ???
Great video, thank you. Before hearing this I probably would have argued the unfairness of overcharging cab riding customers. Now I know better. The cab driver example really hit home the points you were making. We really cannot react to these people. We can not let them get under our skin. Stoic is the perfect word for what we must be when encountering them. Give them nothing to hang their hat on, so to say.
I was married to a narcissist in an arrange marriage set up as they do in India, little did i knew about the enmeshment my husband and MIL shared.. it all started getting very clear when i got pregnant. She did horrific things to me, as she wanted me to loose this child. When i confronted her and my husband he abandoned me and my infant emotionally. She pushed me when i was holding my 11day old child. That was the point when I decided to walk out of my marriage and put physical assualt charges on her.
Since that day almost 2 years ago i came across Danish's video and can't be more thankful and grateful to him!!! You are a true warrior and our savior at the same time.
I can feel you😢😢, stay strong, God revealed their true face to you which is Narcissism and made you aware of it. Or else it'd be more depressing without the awareness about narcissists by thinking why they do what they do. My ex is a dark triad malignant narcissist and I'm a scapegoat child of Narcissistic father as well where God saved me from these two great evil forces 🙏
I learned they have their opinion and I have mine which I kept to myself. The backstabbing and defamation of character. Killed the trust.
Many thanks for sharing your example and experiences. The difference between your videos and other people’s videos is that you don’t repeat what others said as if reading a theory, but you provide your insight and practical examples which help the audiences to resonate what they have experienced so far. I had a very same experience like you but it is worse, the narc almost assaulted me because I ignored him and he can’t stand it. He then pushed me to show me of his existence but I still ignored him. I felt scared and fear of being assaulted but if he did, I would have a proof/ witnesses to take legal action against him because it happened at work. I didn’t realise what was going through his mind until I watch your video today. May God bless you.😊
I’m appreciative of your teaching thank you so much❤
I really appreciate your videos. They certainly help to make some kind of sense out of the madness the narcissist puts you through. It's just so hard to stay quiet when being taunted and belittled nonstop😔
You can not win run 🏃♀️ y’all run 🏃♀️ as fast as you can 💪🙏💯
Totally agree; she could be the narcissist. That was my very first thought when you showed the video clip. It is an extremely common tactic of a nacissist, to provoke and then record the reaction of the victim. This could have easily been a scene from my relationship with my ex narc. The previous night she would have gone out and flirted with other men in front of my face at a bar. Probably engineered a situation where we had gone home separately. I would be completely distraught at what had happened and she would be revelling in the pain she had caused me. The next day, not say a single word as an apology and then be sitting there recording everything so as to show her friends the video and continue the process of smearing me. And she just sits there doing her makeup... She's getting everything she wants. It is a cold and calculated endeavour. The man is clearly upset in this video and yet still (if you listen to his words) saying some things that aren't narcissistic. He says that to him she is ugly inside. A narcissist would say that everyone thinks you are ugly, but he doesn't. He clearly says that to other people you may not be. Indeed, I am almost certain that this is a recording of a situation that has been orchestrated by a narcissist.
Bro its clear as day how entitled and immature can you be to record people's negative emotions while you do you're makeup for another man. Arguments are to be done behind closed doors because it's extremely unhealthy for the children she's obviously his narc and the voice we hear is cptsd she's wrecking his world inside our like Satan himself.
Agree with this take. They love to make us the monster. Like they unload their nasty self onto us, and say, "see? You're the worst. You're the problem." Then we are defeated in shame. All the more reason to be stoic and find an exit asap
Agree
I agree. Narcissist know what tactics make them seem innocent. They're fabulous actors.
Teach by example.
The part when you were able to stay calm was impressive.
Kong fu, tv show from the 1970s,
How Cane talks in the show and behaves, is the same thing as you are saying.
Fight only when needed not when someone is trying to control your emotions.
Best wishes
My neighbor is constantly trying to trigger me. I've learned over the years about not reacting. He even uses his daughter in his charades against me. He's obviously trying to make me leave my home but I will not let him push me out. I rise above his games by ignoring and continuing to be happy in my life with my husband and the neighbor hates this.
Thank you Danish. What a beautiful approach by going into your own body. And keeping quiet. I walked away and the narcissist followed me with rage. And when I closed my door she went crazy and I was discarded right then and there. We had been friends for 2 years and there was less and less reciprocity from her. Actually there had never been reciprocity from her side if I look back. When trying to talk things over she reacted as though I had done this only to her and she condemned it instead of trying to understand each other reactions. It all was only about her and how I had done this to her. And still raging even days later. And I got the silent treatment for months. I apologized and wanted to try again. But again her rage was just too much for absolutely nothing important (hockey carpool) and I remained calm and her rage exceeded the first time. That was the moment I didn’t react and took myself out the carpool. And I’m still getting the silent treatment but I don’t mind anymore. It’s over. No friendship anymore for me. How can someone be so seemingly loving to you, and then become so hateful of you the next. Now you have answered that question for me. Thank you.
I have another question though, how can I not attract narcissists anymore? (I have a narcissistic family of origin)
Not sure if they won't try you, but boundaries, saying NO at the gate, resisting the devil. They are serial beggars. It's funny to them. Look past them and don't acknowledge them. After a certain amount of abuse you will know the difference between God's people who need help and the fake ones.
Chaos was always present when he was here.
There was no peace.
Completely disrespectful of anything that was mine.
He was constantly breaking something of mine or destroying it “ accidentally “ or “ he did know”.
Danish , you are truly a recovery specialist!
You have helped me so much this past year.
God bless you.
I blurted out of annoying c9nnen5 and said you have one hell of a ego from hell that just won't quit , they also are aware I'm jumping in a Grey hound bus and heading way out onto a a whole new life! 2 weeks to go!!🎉🎉🎉🎉 I wear my earbuds all the time that protects my mind (shield) I have art work I'm focusing on and that gives me strong boundaries! ( energy protection) starve narcissist!! Freedom !! No emotional attachment at all , I'm a sigma empath (warriors) keep on keeping on out there! Thank you for videos!!
When I first became 'aware' I was being abused, your episode 'narcissists are evil' was a game change for me. I played it over and over and over. My abuser is in an adjacent apartment and he listens in on everything I do. I know this because he and his 'cohorts' repeat what I watch, what I post on facebook, and bully me through a technique of 'directed conversations' so I can hear them talking about me from the next apartment (we live in old thin walled apartment).I became aware of my 'situation' in March 2023 so I am just over 7 months into the abuse and awareness of it and I can't get away from my abuser right now as I cannot afford to move at this time...... I love this video and it perfectly fits in with the current growth stage I am in (not responding) and I am going to save it. I am finally starting to master the 'no response' and will watch this often! Thank you for your videos. 😘
I was gang attacked/bullied and stay low out of sight, anything you do just adds to the fire 🔥, I stood my ground and they've all moved, they're jealous of your lone wolf independence, they'll try to jerk your chain, just a game to them and they're dangerous, beware!
Eydy keep a journal in case they start a smear on you .whatever you do don't react .ignore the crap . It gets easier .god bless !
The neighbor sounds like a stalker
My Brother who stayed with me, expense free, became more and more dangerous. I think he didn't physically hurt me because he needed my taxi services to get him everywhere he needed to go. But tiptoing on eggshells became tiptoing over razor blades.
If you need to stay where you are, you may see if you can switch a like/similar apartment if one becomes available.
The journal suggestion is a wise one. Also be careful of their behavior. You may want to alert the office of your concerns. The more awareness you can make regarding your situation the more evidence you will have if a problem arises. Prayers and blessings.
Don’t respect people who don’t respect you.
I can never love a narcissistic person. It’s very unnatural for me. I suspect someone who works in my company is a narcissist. Her actions have created consequences towards a guy who has two kids and a wife to support. His kid had surgery. I have been feeling angry towards her behavior. She doesn’t get that people with families are at risk. Today I realized i just couldn’t be with someone like that. Not in friendship and in a love relationship. Luckily I have yet to work with a narcissistic boss.
Leave their a$$ in the dust...
Game Over.
💯
Not if they kill you !!!!! I know one that killed a narc and got away with it !!!! There now in another relationship and happy 😂
Thank you for your direct , concise advice. You are so good at unraveling their malevolence!
Holidays are the worst! It’s always drama & bullshit! It all revolves around them.
Absolutely correct you are a masterpiece in understanding a narcissist 🙏
It is very helpful to hear real life experiences and how you reacted. This helps me to see clearly where I can do the same. You did well to keep your system calm with the taxi driver. It would naturally trigger me to panic but in future I will go within, concentrate on breathing properly and staying present. So powerful 💯
Cut off emotional supply. Don’t react. Disengagement from cycle of trauma, drama and chaos. Don’t let them know what you feel, they lose control. Silence is biggest weapon. Don’t justify, react to accusation, explain, fight. Stay in your control. Ideally leave to be safe else ignore.
Wow! Thanks for this video because your experience exposed multiple things that have troubled me. The mumbling, talking under their breath is so common. You cant hear exactly. It is crazy making. The inability to ever say thank you from previous video is another. No wonder we feel exhausted. Saying Thanks to you is not enough bcs you actually save our sanity❤️🙏🏻❤️
It might be helpful if we had a local support system, or an advocate to accompany us in professional situations where we encounter narcissistic people.
True but it's not gonna happen. Even if it did, it would be infiltrated, infested and contaminated by "humble" covert narcs in no time. This entire WORLD is controlled by these freaks at the moment. They have cults such as free m@$onry to enable these bottom feeders to rise to the top.
What advocate can do for us ... nothing I guess ....
Danish, as you mentioned a narcissist can actually turn violent. Your response as a man worked for you. As a woman, if a driver acted like that with me, what would you suggest? I don't take Uber for this reason. A neighborhood car service is the way to go for women, in my opinion. The dispatcher will give you and the driver the price and if the driver acts up for any reason, you can always get in touch with the car service and report the incident. Regards.
This is the most insightful advice I have seen in a long time, I deal with someone like this on an almost daily basis, I rarely respond and you are right, it will send them absolutely crazy. I believe they are devil created. The nice part of me believes it is a mental disorder, but that doesn’t mean I have to accept the vile behaviour and I don’t.
Somehow, considering them as a reptiles/demons seems more real to me, an extremely rational person) You're empathy doesn't let you to comprehend their behaviour. 😅
The only victory at that "game" is through Jesus Christ- all the glory is for Him! Blessings!
I don't need imaginary friends to conquer a weak narcissist.
@@Sean0526a Is it!?
I've done that and the level of agression gets 10 times worse..the verbal abuse reach such limits that it breaks my soul..
You are the absolute best at describing these individuals. I listen to no one else now.. you have described, over various videos exactly what I have gone through and experienced..these people, truly are evil. Thank you so much, you have made me realise it's not me..
2 Timothy 3 Understand that the last days will be dangerous times. 2 People will be selfish and love money. They will be the kind of people who brag and who are proud. They will slander others, and they will be disobedient to their parents. They will be ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, contrary, and critical. They will be without self-control and brutal, and they won’t love what is good. 4 They will be people who are disloyal, reckless, and conceited. They will love pleasure instead of loving God. 5 They will look like they are religious but deny God’s power. *Avoid people like this*
Love it!!!
That metaphor if you wrestle with pigs you will be the only one that will not enjoy it because the pig will enjoy being down in the dirt and the mud. 😮
So True
That cab driver sounds a lot like my husband, if you say anything to him he gets mad like that 🤷🏼♀️
Excellent examples. I also appreciated that you stated that you checked in with yourself first. As often stated, it sounds easier to do than it actually is. For me, when I first applied the "no reaction" method, I did not fully understand the psychology of it. Once I saw how well it actually works, then I was able to grasp a better understanding of the whys and wherefores. However, the best part of the complete lesson is being better able to understand oneself and your own emotions and gaining a better control within oneself; mastery of the self. This is the silver lining of interactions with a narcissist.
They are radioactive. So non-reactive is better because that raggedy demon wants the fire back. It's a mind game with real life consequences. Very low vibrational.
Thank you Danish for reenforcing this same technique that I've started using with my narcissistic daughter. She gets triggered easily. The only opinion that matters is her own. My father was a narcissist (my mom too to a lesser degree), and now I have a daughter, and daughter-in-law that display narcissistic traits. I feel that this world and it's culture give rise to more, and more narcissists.
I was around many at once and went to the crazy farm get out you will have brain damage from them. I still am off
Um. I may have news for you.
My ex is narcissist my current bf is narcissists (no contact)my two x friends narcissist !world full of narcissists beware
@@jennydesu2544 It's crazy the spoiled child
@@MonaHerSelfMOh good, someone else noticed the common denominator 😂
You are a very bright man, you help me every day understand and respond to my narcissist properly so I can heal as I know this hopes of changing him or him getting help in zero to none which is a hard pill to swallow. You are exactly right in every situation that i have gone thru so I use your videos as a guide to for self help and lemme share you have the very best content over anyone else’s and I thank you!! I’ve educated him every day with the facts of his sickness however I know this is just temporary before his evil comes right back therefore I’m straightening my crown every day knowing I deserve better & I’ve become silent & distant which is sooo hard to do but it’s the best thing for me to do!!! Thanks ❤ blessings to you
Excellent advice and spot on once again. thank you Danish.👍
You are right. Silence destroys a narcissist. The last encounter I had was actually quite comical because I knew he was trying to get under my skin and control me through my emotions but I was impenetrable to his agenda. I don't have anymore trouble with him because now he realizes he has absolutely no power over me and is wasting his time trying. He literally almost started crying like a little girl once I began laughing at his insults and judgements
I have a daughter-in-law that has a demon on her, she is very narcissistic. In the beginning of the relationship 9 years ago she did get a reaction out of me I actually moved 2 thousand miles away. I had to go no contact with my son for a couple of years cuz I couldn't it was actually making me very I could smell myself dying. Until I learned how to cope and heal I went back to the relationship. I visit once a year and she tries to push my buttons the whole time and I totally ignore it and I can see it's pissing her off but she gets no reaction. She tries even harder she lies against my name she's drugged me through the mud. I've just learned to accept it because I have two grandchildren I want to see. I'm quite sure until that demon is off of her this will continue.😢😢 I can't even talk to my son because he goes and tells her everything I say, that just puts a feather in her hat and I'm not going to do it.
My same situation!!!! Narcissism is tearing families apart!!! Life-altering!!! How do we stop this evil!!!??? The children 😢I ask God every day for guidance and to protect my son and grandson🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
This is exactly what I am going through...😢😢😢😢
Yes..! Perfect !
I recently had guests at my place and she grabbed that opportunity to belittle and devalue me in front of them. She was saying all those false things about me and surprisingly I could keep quiet without reacting ( though with lots of efforts). On Seeing that there was no reaction from me she got restless and angrier and stared putting me down further. I calmly responded to her that it was her who think like that and not me and left the place. I was quiet surprised at myself that I was successful in not reacting to her comments. But... after couple of days she tampered my food in my lunch box which I had kept in the refrigerator at night with dirty water, which I realised the next day during my lunch time.
In conclusion... It can turn dangerous as Danish just said. One always need to be careful when you have no choice but to live with such people.
Well done 🎉
I have done this some times in past with my mother, she started throwing stuff or tried to beat me , not tried she did beat me... Argument with her has been the most demonic thing ..
@@obscurum6 Sometimes confrontations are inevitable. The "no contact" mode is just temporary escape until you gather more financial, intellectual and mental strength.
@@obscurum6 No Contact is a good tactics but psychologically if you overuse it, it creates a negative habit which causes you to tend to escape every time you encounter signs of narcissism.
@@obscurum6 I don’t encourage being dependent adults. I, you and every other adult can stand on our own feet. We all have inherent potential, whether we believe or not. However, many people have already escaped their narcissistic parents only to bump into similar spouses or friends. Life will force confrontation, naturally, or else you may have your loved ones do that for you at their own expense.
There are many types of narcissists. Some are mentally and physically stronger and socially more powerful than us. They need to be avoided. Others are suffering but we can be empathetic and let them go since they have no considerable influence on our lives. There are also people who are socially and physically weak but they may be psychologically malicious and need to be careful; but quick and decisive confrontations are perfectly ok if you can outsmart them and stand firm.
#interestingly enough from what I noticed growing up with both parents being narcissistic is that behind closed doors they acted like me and my sister didn't exist. But on the
outside world they would be Fake Nice and talkative to people to help maintain their reputation. 😢 everyone in the family was we only existed with my bio parents on birthdays and holidays. Once my Grandparents passed away no more get togethers
My family was the same. Brood of vipers.
Someone stopped and glared at me today, too close to me, so I asked, "What are you looking at?" She went off completely! She even yelled, "Don't f--k with me!" What an over the top reaction! That's not normal! I walked away! Thankfully, a neighbor witnessed what happened and thought the other person overreacted too! She just stops and stares at people, looking catatonic, without saying anything. What is anyone supposed to do with that? I believe she's really a scared person, so she over compensates by being loud and aggressive. Walking away is the best thing I could have done!!!
A male neighbour just stood a grinned at me when I was unloading the car with shopping. He said nothing, just grinned. I thought I had a wardrobe malfunction, but no, he's just a N. He also went up a ladder in his back garden and when I turned around and looked up, again he was just grinning at me from on high. Later, my husband & I caught him prowling in our back garden, we challenged him only for him to say I thought you ought to know there's a prowler in the area!
We ignore him, but he keeps baiting us. Unknown to him we have screenshots & dirt on him. Meantime, security is set up, boundaries strengthened and neighbours are aware.
@@joanramsey4002 Ha ha. He told the truth. HE IS THE PROWLER IN THE AREA....
Impossible to do when it’s a child you gave birth to and chooses to behave the same way their narcissistic father is and has manipulated them into. The ‘child’ is now 40. Lies to your face and behaves with intense cruelty
@@obscurum6 if only it was that simple. My contact is extremely limited but she uses others to continue with the cruelty while playing the victim. It was easy to do that with her father, all feelings were killed by him.
I'm afraid my 14 year old has his narcs way too, everyday I try my best to teach him right from wrong, luckily he doesnot spend a lot of time with his narc dad ❤
it is too late because they are a fully grown adult and choosing to make their own choices. if we take responsibility for our own part in having helped create where we find ourselves will help us to grow and heal. we just have to learn from our experiences to avoid having to going thru it again. we all make mistakes in life, taking responsibility is how we learn. I had to do this to wake up. God bless us.
It is hard to do, very painful but you MUST go NO Contact. If you put up with this behavior from a 40 year old it will only get worse. This is NOT your fault. This is an adult abusing you. Go no cntact!
@@hannahhughes4801 Don't give up !!!!!! 14 years old is still very very young :) You've got this.
Also, by not responding, it gives you and extra edge due to the fact that you ARE honest. Idk about any of you but in times past when I actually do respond to the Narcs BS, I have gotten so very angry that I could look like the narc (just as that video you shared). He gets to tell everyone that I am crazy (which I was). The volcano erupted, if you will...it was all suppressed and when I let that cap off...it quite surprised me. I'm learning to not hate and to not even love (he is unlovable- who he really is anyway). I am stuck with him for now and for now - I know I can be nonresponsive for the sake of our two small children. I now know how toxic my responses can become and I dont want that cap coming off EVER again! So? For now, I literally have to see him as a chair in the room...it wont be easy sense my babies value him and I have a moral compass. In fact, this will literally be the most difficult thing I will conquer but my children are worth it. To keep peace in my now temporary situation, this is the core strength I need. Dont let him see what I am feeling...ignore and be calm, be smart, never let my guard down. ❤
Thank you for making this video! As always, very insightful and right on time. God is using you to help me navigate my way out of an impossible situation. Many blessings !
It’s called *Gray Rocking*
My ex used to violently verbally abuse me for years. I got to the point where I stopped responding. I took back my power because I didn’t react. I stopped taking it personally because I realized this was more about him than me. I wish I had known this years before all the abuse started so aggressively. I can think all the way back to the beginning. How crazy it was! He’s a miserable little man!
Not Responding to Their Accusations, Manipulations, etc is termed 'Gray Rocking'. This is suggested for times when You have to Communicate with a Narcisstic Family Member, etc.
I like that You compared this to viewing as a chair! I will Definitely Remember this.
THANK YOU ! I'm refreshed and better able to defeat my narcissist!
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
That’s hard to do when they are running you down in front of people when it’s not true.
And even harder when they are doing it behind your back.....LONG before you know what's happening and what they are.
Yes!!!!!! 😩😭
The ones who are for you know not to entertain them. They are monkeys. Real musty and raggedy as hell. They smear everyone. It's part of the "I'm going to hell" package.
@reesedaniel5835 Exactly what I experienced. I knew there were lies being spread about me, BUT it was years before I slowly realized I was 100% sure who was actually responsible for it. It's the worst when you realize it's somebody that you would least expect to publicly smear you. It's one thing to harbor deep resentment, but to publicly smear is another.
It's also the worst when you are 100% sure you know who it is, but you can't prove it.
I would have probably asked the driver to STOP.
And get out of his cab!
You were awesome just to stay in the car with this psycho
Danish! This is so inspiring!!! This is what all in recovery need to learn! The moment that you paused, recognized, calmed yourself and took control of your own side is actually the moment that you won. The driver is insignificant, you had already won. This just makes me smile and aspire to have such clarity when the everyday moments of dealing with narcissism come up!!!
Our last day together...I drove my Narcissist boyfriend crazy .... He was sooo angry at me...He started yelling , screaming, hollering , in total rage...Everytime he said something, I smiled at him...Gave him soft spoken answers...Its not that I was afraid of him...I did that to mess with his head...He tried and tried to make me upset...But I would not let him...I told him in a sarcastic tone of voice, to calm down...Because he was going to make his blood pressure rise...Cause his hemorrhoids flare up...Have a diabetic episode...Cause his gout to act up...He was soooo angry...Because I was hitting him, where he didn't want to get hit...They have a need to feel as if they are always winning...Wellll he didnt win that...To this day he hates me, because of that...I won that...That was one of the happiest days of my life...
Awesome job on how you handled that driver. Silence has been working for me with my father, who has lived with me for ovet 20 years because i needed help with my children, and they (he and my mother were in need of housing). Now, he wants to get me to help him with my mom when he is able to do it himself. Plus,I have to work. I let him know that giving them shelter is all i can do, and i will do nothing else. Any other help down the road he has to get else where and get to know some new people which he doesn't want to do but he doesn't have any choice. He wants to argue about it, but i consistently avoid it. Narcissistic people are so ungrateful. Like you say, a bottomless pit.
Easy to beat a narcissist tell them that's fine it's time for you to move on move forward the look on there face deep inside you've destroyed there manipulation there pissed off which means they do have feelings for you but u just walk away after saying move on move forward
This is exactly why you absolutely NEED to get away from the Narcissist & NEVER go back again. Nobody should need to hear all that abuse on a daily basis.
I disagree with the shame. Narcists dont have shame. They are actually only afraid of being caught. Only afraid of being publicly deminished and deemed less powerful. Shame requires guilt, self consciousness, and empathy. They have none of those. And will do the same exact things if given an oppurtunity. Shame would not allow them to repeat the same mistakes over and over.
Diddy and my husband
Dry ??? No they just move on and never looks back.Why do you You Tube channel say they come back and it drive them crazy ...No they have talked and lies about they don't care never did.
They do come back... Going through it now... Divorce on the way and this fool still trying to play his evil games... Been separated almost 2 years... He won't stop.. getting a order of protection sick of it...
@@angelawilliams3361mine narc said on court that restraining order (yr) can't be prolonged bcs that jeopardise his human rights😂
You may not do all this if you:
1. Still think that the narc LOVES you.
2. Still think that the narc THINKS like you.
3. Still think they will CHANGE.
Fix the above delusions and silence/grey rock will occur naturally.
YES!! Narcissists can be truly unremarkable in their mimicry and limited social skills. When you go grey rock, they have to find a new target. A serious mental disorder of which there is no treatment. Self awareness doesn't cure a narcissist either.
The best narcissistic info I have EVER heard in my life.
Thank you Danish you have certainly helped me to understand what am dealing with. I knew somethings were definitely wrong but couldn’t figure it out since am married to a Christian husband. It’s been horrible. A literal devil at home and a humble saint in church. OMG extremely confusing behaviors
Narcissistic Rage is one of the most freighting experiences I have ever experienced. I was in my thirties and I had seen a lot, but the rage was terrifying since it was so sudden and extreme.
Yes its explosive, like a giant mean toddler throwing a tantrum, complete with foot stomping and throwing objects...😄
@@reesedaniel5835 if I may also add, weapons and when I asked why she wanted to stab me she said after that she was only trying to scare me. As a trained person I know that we don’t pick up or expose our weapon unless we intend to use them. Bloody frightening. Thank you for your reply.
What drives narcissist crazy from personal experience is when you tell them the truth about themselves, and you actually expose them to their face boy how they go crazy and another way that drives the narcissist. Crazy is the gray rock method and another thing that drives them crazy is when you are not intimidated by them at all and when you’re not intimidated by the narcissist, they become intimidated so for my personal experience to beat a narcissist for real, you must plan your exit strategy in a way where they don’t see it coming real talk
I went no contact with my baby daddy. They are demons even to their own kids. Children don't need two parents but one healthy parent who loves them
I understand, but kids do better with both parents in the home. This is an irrefutable fact. Years of statistics are available on this topic.
Mom and dad are both equally important in a child's life. The idea that your child doesn't need to be around their father because you personally don't like him. That sounds pretty narcissistic to me. You liked him enough to have sex and make a child. Right?
Convicted murders are allowed to see their children but narcissistic folks cannot? That doesn't make sense. Having a Narcissistic Personality Disorder isn't a crime. They're just asshole people with low self esteem.
Meh.
Not hatin! Kinda the opposite:
It's just,
You have so many gifts of razor-sharp, *actually practical* insight, & you've made available the best guides out there on true, specific healing from Narc abuse and trauma bonds;
Just gently cautioning here against letting your platform & power--and our well-earned trust--become a personal journaling/venting podium.
Detailing, for us, a conflict with a creepy, scary, thieving jerk of a cab driver--which could have gone any of a dozen ways, depending upon his level of craycray, and upon what he felt he had to lose that day--
Seems a bit like wasting (& maybe weakening?) your own keen insights.
Also, in our current, effed-up world, while Narcissistic behavior is *epidemic,* with so many ppl merely on the Narcissistic scale doing so much damage through everyday shitty behavior--
even without being worthy of a full-on personality-disorder diagnosis--
It's just a fact that not every aggro, selfish a-hole who crosses paths with us is clinically a "Narcissist;"
Some are just jerks &/or habitually abusive bullies, some are having a bad day & taking their stress & pain out on someone else;
some are non-Axis-II-disordered but traumatized (by abuse, etc.), and are reacting to an emotional-flashback trigger with sudden incoherent rage;
Some are deeply dangerous (or, sometimes, creepy but mostly harmless) sociopaths or psychopaths.
Many folks who shock us with mean and weird behavior, though--whatever their diagnoses could be--
are (more importantly) armed, and/or on the edge of homicide/suicide.
With randos like an unhinged, enraged cab driver, a more helpful video might focus on how to
1) assess danger level
2) understand situational power imbalance & how it limits options
3) accept the unknowns, &
4) detach, to act in a way that makes survival of the encounter most likely
rather than how to satisfyingly infuriate an unpredictable rando (🫣) or "beat him (a hostile, unwell cab driver, who could easily kill an unfortunate target with rage-driving, gun violence, etc.?) at his own game."
Thank you for your kindness and helpful clear explanation. It felt very balanced. Bless you, Kate from England.
I recently just cut ties with a narcissist. I deleted his number and I’m avoiding him at all costs. I didn’t realize what he has been doing to me. My energy has been depleted and he’s been playing head games with me (In order to feed his ego). When I didn’t give him something he wanted he got mad and started blaming me. I didn’t want to lose the friendship so I found myself apologizing all the time and going over and beyond to show I care. Well that has backfired because now he is acting like nothing is his fault and left me feeling totally insecure and questioning everything I’ve ever said or valued. When I tried to talk to him again he just says I’m overthinking. Now after cutting ties each day I’m realizing he was never my friend and he never cared. I think he was just using me to stroke his ego 😢
Thank you so much for your great advice! I've been married for 46 years and discovered my husband is a narcissist. Apparently the older they get the worse their narcissism gets.
Wow I can’t tell you how I needed this video, like right now. Just had a family reunion and for first the time, think I beat my older, golden child ,Narc sister at her own game and it feels really nice!