In my case, my mother was already walking in my room at midnight, as I was a kid, also when I had to get up early to school. Later, she was exactly then always texting between 12 Midnight and 1 am and dare me, if I did not answer immediately, no matter, what I had to do the next day in the morning. I broke up the contact two years ago, because I could not bare it anymore. Only one, of many things she did. What was it about? The TV of the neighbour was too loud. I am originally from Austria, but moved in 2017 to the Republic of Ireland. I got a job there and was glad to be as far away from Austria I could. She still managed to terrorise me, until I blocked her completely!
@@shireencassam4206 Unfortunately and yes, I also can only see them as Demons. I slowly start up to "breath again", it was like, I would have something around me (a ring or so), which was made more and more tight, until I hardly could breath. All the best for you. ❤
1. They will hang up on you when you give them a narcissistic injury. 2. They make weird noises, have side conversations, don't listen, play music etc. during the call. 3. They will appear and disappear during the call. 4. They talk talk talk at you and don't listen. It's all about them 5. They will incessantly call when they know you have an important call or meeting.
Mine would call and call and call, when I didn't answer he would arrive at my workplace. Ending a disagreement was also fun. He would follow me around to natter, complain about how I didn't support him and would totally gaslight me. He would play the victim-- poor me, I'm adopted. A horrible, misogynistic, narcissistic human being. He called me about 7 yrs after we split up. He had had a major heart attack and had gone through major surgery. He was looking for sympathy. He told me he was living with a woman. I said, "of course you are." His response was, "it's the least I could do, she saved my life." After a few more comments on his part I said to him, "huh, well take care, don't call me again, ever." and hung up on him. It was an empowering experience to say the least.
My mother would call over and over and over again instead of leaving a voicemail. Serial calling which irritated me. When I finally called her back, she lectured me on not answering my phone
2. About 5 years ago, a person I had been friends with for 20 years began multitasking whenever we spoke on the phone. For example, she'd be cooking, often dropping pots and pans in the background, or watching youtube videos, or be private messaging other people in chat rooms while trying speak with me on the phone. This behavior caused me to feel disrespected, invalidated, and as if she didn't want to make time for our friendship any more. I realized she didn't value interacting with me, and it felt like she had stopped prioritizing our relationship. Eventually, I stopped reaching out to her. I don't pursue people who show no interest in being there for me, and who can't bother to listen, as if what I have to say doesn't matter, and is boring them. I have zero patience for a lopsided relationship. I expect the give and take present in a healthier friendship dynamic.
It's not scary, a person who has dealt with two narc parents just like me know all the little details of a.narc, even if it's not their love partners. Plus Danish is a professional
It's scary how MANY people say the same thing! But it's TRUE! I'm hoping to be free someday. Been married 24 years, he's a monster. Happy to hear that you got away!
I don't pick up half the time either. My time is more important and I don't want to hear the drama. You're protecting yourself and there's nothing wrong with it❤
@@gigidayz6936 they are blind to anything beyond self...bottomless pit..or probably full of venomous slithering snakes there ..rotting at the bottom of their dirty minds
Yes you're not lying my dad lives in Texas and every year me and my husband and kids go visit him it seems like he always start a big argument when I'm on my way to see my dad so my energy will be bad when I get there it became like a pattern then when we get there he acts like everything is good he wants to take over the conversation I like to play oldies that my dad like he wants to control the music he wants to control everything I am 43 years old and just now learning about narcissism I wish I knew this 14 years ago I literally just put him out last night so it's fresh and hard for me we have two kids I need God to give me the strength😢
You were not weak, we have all tried to placate them in numerous ways one because we could never have imagined somebody who supposedly loved us was out to destroy us
They call to dump their energy on you, throw a tantrum, blame shift, be a victim and hung up the phone before you say anything! They can’t carry a conversation. If you confront the line disconnects!
Lord, this is so familiar. I'm currently undergoing treatment for cancer. At my last chemo, I suddenly had an allergic reaction to one of the 3 chemo drugs. I had had 2 other rounds previously without any bad reaction at the time, but this time, my lungs shut completely down. I couldn't draw a single breath for about 4 minutes while my amazing medical team gave me oxygen, steroid and benadryl injections into my port which corrected the reaction. The whole time, I had to be supernaturally calm and still and let my freaked out eyes speak for me with my rn bc the only thought I had was if I broadcast that I'm in trouble, he will make this about him and potentially hurt my team. 5 mins after I had recovered, with the drip now slowed down for safety & monitoring, he started loudly complaining about how LONG it was now taking & that we'd be there for 12 hrs at this rate. I had to apologize for nearly dieing and wasting his time. In front of my team.
The difference between me and you I can't leave or feel like I can't leave gotta be there for my mom I feel but at the same time dealing with good old step papa the enemy in disguise
Holy fuck. This is so true. My ex once gave a very traumatic road trip to me. Driving above boulders, imbalanced state of car, stopping in the middle of the road to get attention. I still can't believe why i could not leave him right after that moment!!
I am the one who hangs up on the narcissist. I do this because I can only take so much of the non-stop talking. I will also stay quiet and multitask on other things. When he notices that I am quiet, he will ask, "oh is there anything you have to say or add"? My response is no, or I'll say something like, since you like to talk for the both of us, go for it. He can't take the silence and then he will say "ok, we'll talk later. The cycle repeats with baiting, devaluing, discard. I am so ready for this divorce to be finalized.
Exactly. And I let him know I'm going to need to end the conversation if he continues being abusive. I'm not going to listen to abuse. I've ended the friendship at this point.
My dad is a narcissist, last time my sister ignored his phone call because we were in the car, he called back and threatened to run through our house and stab us all. We're all kids btw
It is very interesting because when you examine the behavior of a narcissist and break it down, there are startling similarities. They are easy to see once you are awakened.
After 940 days of no contact with my ex wife , low and behold I get a text to call her which I ignored, next day same thing a text to call her again same response finally third day in a row she calls me one ring and hangs up , needless to say I ignored it , don’t need to hear anything she has to say , I am the phoenix
Talking at me: Zero patience for listening. This is my mom. Literally everything is about her. She talks incessantly, doesn’t even pause for me to speak. If I call her and mention anything I’m going through (recently cancer, chemo, multiple surgeries, death of my son), she completely ignores me and immediately starts talking about herself and what she’s going through, which are little minor things that everyone deals with day to day. She talks and talks and every subject turns into another, and another, on and on she rambles. My problems are not even acknowledged. Forget any support or encouragement, they’re not even acknowledged. She calls people to talk, not to have a conversation.
I’m sorry that you were raised by that woman. My mom was a narcissist too. When I was little and people would tell her how pretty they thought that I was, she would say, “Of course she is! Look at her mother!” My parents treated me horribly. I was a straight A student but never an acknowledgement. But when their friends came to visit they would tell them about my grades and say, “I guess we are great parents! Look how well she turned out!” I couldn’t get away from them fast enough. I left at 17 and never went back. THAT’s how great of parents they were.
When my husband of 40 years passed away, I called my brother to tell him. I was a mess and needed some emotional support. He changed the subject within 2 minutes back to himself. If that weren’t bad enough, I didn’t hear from him for four months. He let me grieve all alone. When he does finally call, it’s to ask me if my husband had left him anything in his Will. I was so happy to say no. Haven’t spoken with him since.
Yep. My mother talks nonstop about herself. The same stories over and over. I can put the phone down and walk away , and I have. Also she gets mad if I tell her that I already heard that, or I don't want to hear the inappropriate story again. Lol
@@probi99 I have to take him in small doses, because he is toxic. If for nothing else, our brothers have taught us how to recognize a narcissist so that we don’t make that mistake in the future with a life partner, you know? LOL!
Another one I have experienced quite a bit over the years: They say things completely unrelated to what you have said to them because at their end they have people with them and they want to make you sound unreasonable/crazy. So it sounds to their audience like a totally different conversation from the one you are trying to have with them.
My ex has always had to have the last say, I told him months ago we are done. through phone calls texts etc. He texted me the other day with personal avatars and the last one was I am doing better without you Good Bye..lol😂
I used to hang up on my narcissistic father in law. Frequently. I refuse to be spoken to like I am lower than another. He told everyone in the family how rude I was but failed to tell them why I hung up on him. This encouraged the family to treat me terrible and blame me. When I tried to explain how he was treating me, this is what I heard: “You know he only cares about you, wants the best for you”. Really? By telling me every decision is wrong, I should listen to him, obviously I do not know what I am doing? Then turning around and encouraging gang stalking against me? Yeah. He wanted the best for me.
I hung up on dad when he was insulting me, he got so angry lol, how dare I hang up while being insulted. They have reactions sometimes that you can't believe are real, like straight out of a movie. Sadly in some cases it might be just that, my brother once said he learned how to socialize by watching Friends because of the lack of connection within our family. I understand that, being his sister and all. But friggin Friends, really? They weren't even nice to each other, it was constant sarcasm.. from one mindfk into the other. He tried tho lol, he was aware.
We MUST find and open ONLY WITHIN OUR PACK, not with our abusers. Definitely our pack are all those who went through our same kind of...torture... Sending hugs
The distraction technique is certainly a weird one: the narcissist rings you up and you imagine that there will be some sort of exchange. But, typically, she is walking home from work, or out and about somewhere, and the point is to use you as an audience for the next 20 minutes of her life: talking to shop assistants, reacting to funny dogs, listening in to some street musician etc etc An authentic conversation is the last thing on her agenda. I'm glad to say such phone calls are now a thing of the past. I find whatsapp very useful, A brief, written message every few weeks avoids the otherwise rather drastic remedy of stopping all contact. Thanks for this post: I've found it very helpful!
Number 5. All the time, particularly if I am in a meeting. One time while I was on vacation, my apartment was broken into and ransacked. He called while I was talking to the police. I told him what happened and that I couldn't talk but would call him later, the police were at my house. He wouldn't stop calling. Finally, I just shut my cell phone off till after I had dealt with the police and filed a report. There is one other thing that they do - they call for some information which you have to look up. You say, "I'll call you right back". When you try and call with the information they wanted - they don't answer the phone.
After finally moving out on my own hanging up on the narc was one of my most freeing moments then cutting all ties was the ultimate freedom. 19 years now and still healing.
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective digitalinvestigate@gmail.com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
Okay hear me out. I don't think the guy was a narc. It sounds to me, he didn't have a committed relationship and he got what was easy. Or, big or. He saw the weak gazelle on the African safari, and his lion instincts kicked in. Dude was just tryna eat 😅, it's a drought out here for normal guys. 😂😂😂😂 I got my own narc story too, I think most ppl do. I'm curious, what's everyone else's story?
This intriguing video serves as a poignant reminder of the heartache I've been enduring since my 7 year relationship came to an end 4 months ago. My cherished partner, the love of my life, made the difficult decision to part ways, leaving me consumed by thoughts of him. Despite my earnest attempts to win him back, I find myself facing frustration and an overwhelming sense of emptiness, unable to envision a life without his presence. Despite my efforts to move on, I'm compelled to confess my lingering feelings and longing for him here.
The process of releasing a loved one can be an uphill battle. I can relate, having navigated a similar journey when my 8 year relationship dissolved. Despite the heartache, I refused to relinquish hope and embarked on a quest to win him back. Turning to a spiritual counselor for assistance, I found guidance that ultimately led to our reconciliation.
Narcissistic Ex used to take me shopping as someone with Agoraphobia and leave me in the supermarket causing me to go into a panic attack. He used to be on calls to me in town and then say hi to random strangers in the street whilst on the phone, he would sometimes just hang up mid conversation to go and speak to someone else and even new supply he had ‘bumped into’ whilst on the phone to me. My narc friend at the time used to walk around distracting herself and was always doing something whilst on the phone to me, she’d ring me and then start doing things crashing about being weird. I dumped both their butts and moved on! 😂
My sister is always banging around when we're on the phone. I have hyperacusis, so background noise is extremely painful to my ears. When I mention the noise, as carefully as possible, she snaps at me, "I'm not doing anything!!!" I tell her it sounds like she's demolishing a building because of my condition. She then tells me she can't talk very long. She always thinks she's the busiest person in the world.
@@katherineverret3143 I'm sorry to hear that. I know it is actually physically painful for you. It's strange, I can listen to fairly loud music and am fine, but certain sounds, and phones cause me to climb the walls.
I noticed my cousin does that, you will be on the call with her and she hardly listened and makes funny side distractions or talk with other people 😂wooohooo
went sealife center lol he went toilet and i waited outside, then my daughter said she needs a wee after he already walked in. (he knew my phone battrey was low btw as i couldnt take pictures) i popped in quickly hoping he assunes weve gone toilet to (cubicles are right next door) i come out he was missing goneeeee , goneeeee lol i rang n rang n rang said line busy when i found him he was on the phone walking out sea life center talking to another girl. like wdffff then threaten me in the car..... it was to much way to much like....
Before cutting off a former friend, I could put the phone down for a while and he's still would still be talking. When I would try to re-enter the conversation, he would shift his tone and bring up the "important" issues of his conversation. I then could put the phone down so he could talk to himself about himself again.
They also like to call you from a car, which drives me crazy because they then can come up with a million sudden excuses to hang up on you and/or keep the call short. They love calljng you from a car, dropping shit in your head, then getting off the phone. They will also call you from a car to help them kill time. I had one friend, now an ex-friend, who when I was in the devalue phase use to call me while she was in line at the drive-through waiting for her food. I also always got a call from heron my birthday usually around 6 pm, the time most people are NEVER home on their birthday. A phone is a weapon to a narcissist.
Absolutley. My ex called me, started talking and when I wanted to say something he had to stop at the gasstation. I was ' But you called me, so what the ...?'. They steel my time but no more🎉
I may hope so they will be punished hard👍👍mean evil people!! The problem nowadays: Everywhere where you are with a small or medium big group of people, there is very often at least one person with a real narcissistic personality disorder and often also one or two persons with clear traits of narcissism. Nowadays it's a big puzzle to only go along with not toxic and not narcissistic people. It's searching to create such a healthy group. I hope in future it will get better, but i'm worried.
OMG!!! This was every phone call I had with my daughter. I haven’t seen or talk to her for two years. The peace I am feeling now is indescribable. Thank you so much for your videos!
My son, my only child did the same to me. He died 2 yrs ago from lifestyle. My pain is indescribable of losing him, but also God has been watching and gave me peace.
@@ladyjadelindiakids cut their selves off ,just becuz you share DNA with someone doesn't mean you should bow down to being abused by them defunded by them and harmed. By them sometimes distance is BEST you must have boundries especially with family that thinks family relations means you have to tolerate their unkind abusive behaviors
My goodness you're 100% right!! The minute they call u have to prepare yourself mentally for the games they play, they love hanging up on u to annoy you,plus they want you to call them back
I watch all your videos. I grew up with a malignant narcissist mother and a covert narcissist father. The telephone habits of my parents were like any other conversations we had. It was all about them and I didn’t matter. I worked shift work and couldn’t turn my phone off because I worked in emergency services and was often on call. They made a point of calling when I was trying to get some sleep. They said I was lazy for sleeping during the day even if I had just worked a very busy twelve hour night shift and was going to work another one in a couple of hours. They have both passed away and I tell a lie when people ask me if I miss them. I tell them I do, but the truth is, it’s a great relief not to deal with them any more. Thank you for your videos. I don’t feel so crazy or alone anymore.
@@chris-b thank you. The phone calls were one aspect of their narcissistic behavior. I wish I’d known then what I know now. I’m grateful to Danish and his videos.
@@teresasmith4383 that one aspect speaks a lot about all the other aspects without you telling them. After all they all are the same. A bunch of soulless people.
My junior year in college, I had evening final exams one term, and I had to be out of my dorm room that same night because the college was starting renovations on the building the next morning. I arrived home exhausted at 2:00 am after a long drive. My narc father was in my basement room at 7:30 a.m. angrily demanding that I get up. When I told him that I had late finals and asked why he was doing this, his answer was, "I JUST THINK YOU SHOULD BE UP!" and then marched back upstairs to go to work. Sleep deprivation is yet another tool used to control others around them.
The constant background noises. While I speak he started to wash dishes with extreme loud noises. And yes, put me aside and walk out of the room and I was just: "hallo...are you here?" Then after a while "oh sorry just been feeding the cat outside" etc. Many times ask him back if you heard what I said, of course he didnt. Or pretended not to.
My father was a toxic narcissist - drove so many to death and suicide - my brother, my sister-in-law, my mother. He made me very sick with a heart condition due to chronic stress and anxiety and my older brother into a becoming a total recluse from society.
Wow… I am so sorry. That is truly awful. I am glad you are still here and I pray you will be healed from all that trauma and that you get to have joy and peace and real love in your life ❤
Thank you, all. I survived only because I was the youngest and not directly targeted. The others who challenged him were like my mom - honest and straightforward, no match to his cunning, never understanding where he was coming from. He recruited my mom's own birth family against her. My brother assures me that in human society narcissism is the norm. This is borne out by the state of the world as it has always been. Today we have the knowledge but whether we can escape from the narcissists in our lives is another matter. Because many may find themselves truly trapped, especially in a marital situation for women who may be the victims of financial abuse as well, and so dependant on the narcissist, who - GET THIS - very often finds the law also to be on his side!
He will call me so many times non stop , if he picking me up he will call many times I’m outside , I’m outside , I’m out side . He is very impatient and will say why you don’t answer your phone . He already knew why .
Mine will send me msg after msg, if I don't respond fast enough he'll start calling both on viber and normal phone, lol as if that makes a difference. If I don't pick up then its "ok I'm coming over". Cuz he's "worried". About fkng what exactly??? Me having a life? Its intteresting that my dad's side of the family does it "cuz they're worried" while my mom's side does exactly the same, but when I don't respond fast enough then its "if you're angry at me just say so, we never have to talk again". Tf is wrong with all of them lol...well we know. My mom's side have this covert version, dad's is full blown "open" npd.
@@illyria7756I was wondering what the heck was up with the frantic calling when I don't answer the phone when they think meaning my x and my daughter cuz they "worry"?! Humm... I'm thinking about what exactly.?
@@laurac.9322 yes! It's so weird right, I'm glad I'm not the only one, thank you so much. I think they pretend to worry, cuz worrying is an accepted excuse (for bothering someone) plus it makes them look good. And if you tell others about it, like I have, people react like "aw, he's just worried, he cares", they don't sense the undertone. So its good for the narcs image while it hides their true intentions, which I think, is to have total control over us. These are just my impressions of my own family members ofc. I only recently realised it's full blown npd in the family I grew up in, I knew there was narcicism but not the full extent of it. It explained every single detail, why I am the way I am. It's not fkng me, like they've been saying all my life, its them. Excuse my long reply, am still working through all of it and honestly I am fully isolated, I have 0 people to talk to.
Yes they message a lot and call you repeatedly if you don't answer! My sis always says that my phone doesn't work. She thinks I only speak on the phone..I work! Or might be busy..if you call her she answers you after hours or says she difn't see the message...and yes it's all about her. I'm done 😢.
I used to pretend to forget my phone at home when I went out with my friends. Did it on purpose . I was so tired of being called for no reason at all every 10 minutes asking when I was going to be home.
I "lost" my phone because of this. He bought me another one and I'm just so absent minded that I lost that one too. I remember having gone to a party for a friend who was going overseas for an extended time, and my ex husband calling me every 20 minutes, screaming down the phone at me. There was another time when I was trying to do the grocery shopping, and he started calling repeatedly because our 1yo daughter was hungry and he was demanding I come home to make her lunch. Useless 🦆
@srodriguez721 It was better. I've been no contact for over 4 years but the trauma damage is still a nightmare, my narcissist was my daughter, The abuse she has done damaged me beyond repair. She is dead to me and she did something that I will never forgive...
❤ Thank you for your talk today on Hanging up. My Mother was a Covert Narcissist and since my Dad died when I was 3, there was no adult to protect me. She was smart and abused me emotionally, neglected me & blamed me. So I married another Covert Narcissist and suffered worse abuse. His favorite way of hurting me is to hang up on me, saying “I don’t want to talk to you anymore- bang! I’m the person who is faithful, and I discovered he has another woman he won’t give up. I want out, but the physical damage done to my body through all this stress has caused me to have to quit my job as a nurse and I’m on disability. I’m trying to get well enough to work because right now I can’t make my financial obligations without his help. I would be glad to pay you to talk to me if you have any ideas on what I can do to get away from him. we’ve been married almost 5 years. I know I can’t bear this much longer and I’m trying to work my way out of this. Thank you, Teri.
Today a “friend” texted “I hate when people hang up on me!” I haven’t responded to his 5 attempts at getting me to respond. I don’t want to talk with someone who’s drunk and over talking. He actually texted me “I didn’t diss you”. I haven’t done anything but stop responding to him. Dunzo with that behavior.
I am sooo grateful for your videos... I am just now realizing that my son is a worse version of narcissist. I am heartbroken, 💔 (as he is my only child and I went through hell in an abusive marriage with his father), but will not let him hold me his hostage. He does absolutely every single thing explained in this video. I am so overwhelmed by his abuse and arrogance... I am now planning on moving back to Europe and just leaving him here in the US. I need break and healing. Over the years of such abuse, I lost my physical and mental health because of him. I lost myself... 😢💔
Feel same as you. My eldest son is exactly like described in video. As as if there the Actor and I'm just the person in the audience listening and watching.
Yep! Last night ! Hang up in the middle of a conversation that they called and started!!! I’d said “ Thanks, but I’ve already done that,” and instead of a normal “Oh that’s great! Thanks!” I got grumbling name calling and a hang up. It was no big deal, the situation. I am now proud of myself for not calling back and ask why!!
They take everything as an insult, while always looking for ways to insult you. I'm under constant criticism and it's gotten to the point I don't give a flip or even try to please him anymore.
My ex-husband would listen to my phone calls. It didn't matter if they were personal calls with family or friends, or if they were work related calls. He would either interrupt me and tell me what to say to the person or he would criticize me after the call. He would say "that was so unprofessional or your mother calls too much and is crazy". I would try to leave the house and talk to people outside. Then he would tell me I am hiding things or I don't want him to know what I'm talking to people about. On the flip side, I always listened to his calls because that was the only way I could find out what was going on. He would never communicate with me, so I had to listen to what he told other people to learn about what plans were being made or what I might need to prepare for. So very irritating.
I’ve experienced being in the presence of someone. ( like being with them in the car) it was all fine and dandy when they were on the phone.. talking loudly and laughing and they would talk through the car speakers.. or if they wanted to make it seem like they were having an important call, they would take it off speaker and talk with the phone to ear. If I had something to say, like to tell them they are making the wrong turn.. they will wave me off to be quiet. I would have wait until they were done….. If I’m on the phone in their presence, they act irritated like I’m being rude or they will straight up ask me who am I talking to.. I used to just answer and they would then interject themselves in my conversation, trying to say hello to the person I’m talking to. Now, I ignore the question and they will now, yell out random names to try and get me to say who I’m talking to.. I just say “no” and keep talking.. when that doesn’t work, they will turn the radio up so loudly, that I have to close off one ear to hear the person… then finally, I can’t hear at all and will have to hang up quickly The other thing they do is to ask loudly what I said over and over again to interrupt…I’ll have to say,” I’m not talking to you…” … (let’s say someone else is in the car) they will claim that I am disturbing them and the other person’s conversation…if that doesn’t get me off the phone, they will call someone, talk to them through the car speaker.. and then exclaim the I am distracting them from their conversation…. They’ll also try and listen in ( like your ex- husband did to you) to tell me what I should and shouldn’t say… I’m never on the phone long, because I know I can’t speak freely; when I am it’s a circus. When there are no phone calls no distractions .. they will call someone to keep from having to talk to me.😂.
Over the years my wife has been verbally abusive and physically abusive towards me if she gets mad she will break my things,she has cheated on me but never wants to talk about it lately if I try to tell her how I feel she gets mad and start yelling so I’ll hang the phone up am I wrong for hanging up? I’m learning that she could be a narcissist. If I try to hold her accountable she cries and say I’m attacking her her and that I’m the narcissist, I’m on blood pressure medication now and my head always hurting I’m tired and feel like all my energy is gone, my sleep is off. The worst thing is I have to keep my feelings to myself or it becomes a big argument. When we met 17 years ago she told me that she prayed to God for a man like me thst would love her and her son who was a year old at the time she treated me so good that I was like yes this the one but later on she started talking about me and saying things that really cut my spirit but I had fell in love with her then we had a son and that really made me want to make it work. In the past 17 years I have been through so much that I can’t name all of it. The bad part is my family and friends really love her they tell me that I’m blessed to have her but not knowing the things the kids and I go through. I’m sorry for rambling but as I started typing it started coming out. I need help I have no one to talk too some times I feel like I’m dying inside.
😮😢 Your children are seeing and feeling you suffering. For your own health and safety of your children, you could maybe consider moving out to a peaceful place. It is hard but so worth it ! Prepare everything quietly and have evidence on how bad she is treating you just in case. It's not fair on you. Your children will be proud of you and you will be proud of yourself.
I'm sorry that's awful that she's treating you so badly 😔 I wouldn't feel bad for hanging up if she is shouting at you, or belittling you. You don't deserve that. I'd like to say maybe she will learn to have some respect but I don't know how likely that is.
Sounds a lot like the marriage I just got out of. The best u can do is quietly create an escape route and execute. It sounds like ur kids are older so talk it out with them to see where they stand on the subject and make ur decision. What I will say is: it’s gonna be difficult, but stay the course. Ur peace and ur health are worth more than whatever she can give/offer. If necessary, block her and do ur best to avoid contact unless it’s about the kids. An extra piece of advice: get therapy from the trauma u endured, it’s definitely worth it.
Please take advice given by the beautiful souls here. Staying longer and deteriorating even further.. not worth it. Get out and go on the journey of self-healing.
With him it was always him who will talk...i just have to listen and when he finished he cut the line without listening to me...this always left me confused scratching my head 😕
"My" narcissist routinely hangs up on me for no reason whatsoever. It seems to be some sort of game/control thing, or simply for his own pleasure. It's not even during an argument . I'll be saying something, trying to make arrangements or whatever, and mid sentence, he'll just hang up. I used to get really annoyed, but then I realised that pleased him. Now I just ring back and carry on as if nothing happened. I pray for the day when I have things in order to get away from him!!!
Our household phone was next to his chair. While we (family members calling friends or recieving a call)would be speaking he would mime putting the phone down,or he would talk to us loudly when we were trying to talk to the caller. If my mum wants to phone me ON HER OWN MOBILE she has to go out to the garden while he is napping.
This reminds me of something which now i find funny as i am aware of narcissistic ways.. My Mom a narc was traveling with fellow narc...my brother. She wanted to check up on me but not hurt my brother's ego. She calls and when I pick up, her first line is 'Oh you had called'? I did not, but she wanted my brother to think that i had called her earlier, and she was just checking back..
So true! They listen to respond rather than listen to understand. Super frustrating when at work and need their approval. We refer to our co-worker as a seagull….flies in squawking, craps on everything, & flies out squawking leaving a mess for everyone else to fix and/or clean up.
Interesting... In my case it's the inconsistency. Total absence, ignorance and all of a sudden a reappearance (ghost like ! That was an interesting analogy...) they come to haunt actually but all smile all nice, but the moment you dontn go their way of don't feed their grsndiisity... They become the victim, you are trapped... Horrible
100% he is spiritually guided, i resonate with him when he said he was a dedicated kid towards God just to find some.peace, same thing happened to me, I followed the path towards God cz there was nothing to hold on to with narc parents
Deciding to talk on the phone loudly and unexpectedly while you wait for them and wait for them and wait for them. Talking loudly on the phone in public, especially about money, to feel important and fill everyone’s space.
Omg when mom used to do this ..still does actually but it bothered me soooo bad like it's so obvious she just wants everyone to hear so embarrassing n now dating a guy that has his own business n every public phone call with a client is on speaker n he so loud ......hate that I'm so used to all the toxic traits they share ....also the bf n mom have the same birthday i strongly thinks tht makes it worse
Honestly, this is one of the best channels regarding exposure of NPD. This "ghost appearance" is exavtly what happend 3 months ago, the principal of a school. Trying to achieve her goals via flying monkeys. Not via phonecall but email. Her flying monkey added her as a CC
This happened to me just this morning. I called him an idiot which was wrong but it didn't matter they called me a bitch, a mfer, a retard, stupid and many other names but all that was ok. And I didn't even use it in a real cruel context but neither of us need to be calling names 😢and everything else you pointed out they do too.
in a fight last week, I made him look at me like an ox and that for years I repeat a scene, the snake bites me and instead of going for help, I run after the snake to ask him why he bit me , and he bites me again... a huge scandal broke out, but for years during the argument I told him that he was good, he told me that I was good for nothing, interesting how a single offense in years is more grave as all his offences
God Bless your wisdom!!! My soon to be ex husband would hang up on me all the time ! One time I literally just called to ask for prayer.(I am a Christian) that is all I wanted. Prayer. He hung up. When we were fully married before our separation he never ever ever called me, I would call him dozens of times. How do you not answer your wife??? But you have time all day to talk to other people and scroll social media. I was in the hospital once and he didn't answer and I guess he read the text that I was in the hospital, but he didn't come to the hospital. Because he was too busy doing his laundry. I rarely speak to him and when I do, it's just a reminder of "oh! Yup. This is why you requested a divorce!" I know it is hard to disengage, I personally empathize with anyone struggling to go no contact. But they aren't thinking abot you. They are not. I'm happy, I don't spend much time at all thinking of him. It is so freeing. It is like this cloak of invisible dread has heen taken off my body. So liberating. Whenever you are ready, you will experience the same freedom too I hope. But that your time this is a hard and complex situation for everyone. Survivor and beloved you are strong!!!❤
LOL. Well already told this person all the highlights about how I was the obvious smart intelligent fun and dangerously beautiful humble super christian and everyone loves me. I don't want to hear about your mundane nothing life, I'll just vaccuum until we can go back to talking about MEMEMMEMEMEMEEEEEEEEEEEEE. After all, its very thoughtful of me to listen to you drone on about these idiotic problems you get yourself into, Jesus will think I'm such a great person for this. I dont make mistakes though, thats why everyone loves me and if you just listened to my advice your life would be so much better. Albeit my advice would ruin your life but honestly, who are you to need a big existence? Little ant farm people like you need a good humbling. Maybe I'll walk out to the mailbox and see if anyone is outside I can share my highlight reel with while youre talking. I mean I hate the negativity, I would just rather talk about positive things. Thats why I am a breath of fresh air to everyone in my life and they are all dying to get a piece of meeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
My narc sister used to call me from her car on her way home from work (in crazy traffic) just to brag about herself. Then she'd pretend to be interested in me. Once the topic turned to me she'd quickly say she had to go. I finally refused to answer her calls when I knew she was driving home from work.
My narc ex. girlfriend only wanted to talk videocall (facetime) I didnt get it, but now i know it was to analyze my face while speaking, she wanted to see the tears in my eyes, my face expression when she pressure tested me all the time. 😢
My Narc mother pretended to not recognize people's voice over the call to make them feel less important. Even when she used to call me she used to ask me who is on the line. My standard response when she asked me to identify myself, i used to hang up on her using her own love language. Eventually she complained to me that i do not call her or i hang up on her when she calls. My response was if you do not identify the voice of your only daughter then may be i was not the intended recipient of the call so it is best to hang up. She stole and sold the jewelry my dad got me to buy me different jewelry as gift. I turned the new one down and asked her to take it to her funeral pyre, as scapegoat in my past life i know exactly how to cut the crap with Narcissist.
Exactly. These habits are ways to control you and gain power. The narcissist will say they want to speak to you, however a TV program is on. When you say ok and turn the volume down, the narcissist says we could have talked when the commercial was on, I want to see the rest of this show. Completely blowing you off so that you'll be annoyed and walk away. Then, they'll say, 'well I wanted to talk, but you walked away! Total gaslighting!
The few times my mother called me was just hours of 'I..me...my...'. Nothing important, nothing interesting, just taking up my time and attention and showing me who's boss and who's in control. One of the last times i saw my parents, they came to my house uninvited after being told we had plans. We gave them tea and entertained them anyway, and they couldn't even bother to feign interest in me, my partner, or anything we tried to show them or tell them. They literally started looking around the room like a kid with adhd every time one of us tried to speak. On top of that, they're trying to one-up each other the whole time. So uncomfortable and off the charts cringe.
I completely understand the intimidation tactics of a narcissist who preys on our weekenesses. It freaks me out, too. It's like they have demonic eyes & ears that perk up when we're succeeding in any small way!
My mom used to yawn and get really quiet on our phone conversations. She said I put her to sleep, my voice was too soft or something, she didn't say it in a mean way so I just thought my voice or conversations were dragging. She never seem to contribute to the conversations on the phone so I tried to fill in that awkward silence by carrying the whole conversation mostly myself. This always made me emotionally exhausted. She was the one that always told me I needed to call her more, but once on the phone she acted like she was always tired after I spoke for awhile...it was weird. It wasn't until years later that I would learn about Narcissism, and scapegoats etc...and that's when I started seeing things differently. Was that what was happening to me I wondered. So many mental and physical abusive things happened to me when I was growing up. I started getting braver and tried setting boundaries to protect the mental abuse I realized I was going through and that is when a rage I had never seen before would come from my mother, this was after I had children of my own and started seeing how they were being manipulated and emotionally hurt as well, and that is when I set up rules to protect my children and my mother went bananas. My husband and I had no choice but to go No Contact with the whole family after that and that hurt of course but at least it gave our children a chance to be able to get out of the system for the future generations. It has been over a decade of going No Contact, we have had to change our phone numbers, emails, and even moved across the country. Our yard was poisoned, someone tried to steal my identity and was using my credit points, things were stolen from our house, I was sent a card from a cousin where they were pretending to be my Nana who passed away that I was very close to, and on and on the family/strangers/ ex friends gang stalking would go...and to this day it still continues. With everything we have been through, I would still go No Contact, wish I would have done this sooner for my children. My husband and I are more at peace away from them. When we had to change our social media accounts they still searched us out to harass us, we shut the accounts down. Now that they have found our business accounts we just ignore and block them. We have spoken to a lawyer about our situation and unless they do something really bad where we can prove it was them, there is really nothing we can do. If we get an order against them, they will love that because it means we are in a battle now, and that's what they want. So the best advice is to live a happy and good life and ignore the demons.
Would this count? While I don't think my dad is a narcissist, I do remember plenty of times growing up when he would answer a call or make a call on the kitchen phone, then talk in the living room or kitchen while the tv was on and ask or demand the tv volume lowered if me or someone else was watching. Rather than talk in a completely different room that was quiet. It's as though he did this on purpose. I would think any normal person would logically want to go where it's less quiet without bothering anyone else. I can imagine narcissists purposely being in a noisy room to be controlling or manipulative.
That's the Narcissist's playground, Controlling and Manipulation. They really do lack common sense! Even a child Knew the correct answer to this problem. That's how you know that what they are doing to you, on purpose, isn't right. Always blame others and never look in the mirror for a self evaluation. The whole world is wrong and the Narcissist is right...Always! Another clue.
My mother (covert narc) would call me, make some criticism disguised as a joke about how she's not important enough or I'm too busy to ever call her, then she'd proceed to yammer on and on about all the things she was doing, including the most inane things, or people I didn't even know. When finished, 100% of the time she'd end the call by saying in this weird lecturing tone (as though I'm the one who phoned her and took up her valuable time), "Well, [my name], I have to go. I've got a million things to do..." then she'd list some of those things and that would be the end of the call. I always felt like I had whiplash after. She wonders why I barely ever called her.
When you are talking to a narcissist husband, they suddenly pick some random call and starts talking on phone as if you were not talking to him, and there's no one in front of them. If I'd have to receive some necessary call while listening to someone, I'd say, excuse me, just hold on, we will continue after this call. But narcissist husband receives call even it is the least important call, they pretend to be very busy doing nothing at all.
It’s a very dirty tactic. They want to act self important, superior. It becomes a horrible habit they won’t stop doing with you, to make you feel like you’re not important. You can do it when they’re around, too. Call your friends and be in the phone all the time when he’s nearby. This used to be mainly a female habit, but it wasn’t malicious. Nowadays, males are doing it out of contempt and spitefulness. They have become vindictive and petty. It’s their new tactic of mysogyny.
Experienced all of those behaviors /x-narc of 7 months.Don't miss his "evil behavior at all!"Thanks Be to God,intervened when he did.Forever and Always Love to God.Amen🙏❤️
Favorite destination: The Bathroom. That’s how they believe they can get you to shut up. They want zero engagement of any type and it’s a control mechanism.
Perfect description of my relationship with my daughter. I have spent years wondering what I have done wrong and feeling that I have not done enough for her. We communicate mainly via telephone calls (frequency controlled by her) and there are subjects I am not allowed to talk about and I always feel that I am walking on eggshells. I try not to call her too often as she says she is very busy so I leave it around 3 weeks then send a text to see if she is ok. Sometimes I get a reply and sometimes not. She visits me once every 4 to 5 years and refuses the offer to stay in my home. We had a recent disagreement and she has now decided to cut contact with me. I am sad about it but realise that this is probably for the best so I can get off the emotional roller coaster.
Funny you should bring this up, I was talking with my ex narc this morning, that's exactly what he did; talking to me while talking to other people, I couldn't even hear anything and finally he said; I will call you back later, that was 11 Hours ago. If it was him that needed something from me, he would be calling me every second of the day.
My demon narcissist father used to call, ask something non-sensical and hang up abruptly without saying bye. No clue why the demon did that, just happy that he is out of my life forever. Also, today, as many times before, I actually screamed while writing to my mother on whatsapp. I was enquiring about my brothers mental health and she just doesnt tell me something, writes all kinds accusations at me, distracts with other topics all the while when I ask specific, exact questions. Its my brothers birthday and I dont know ANYTHING at all. How is he, what is he going through? Why doesnt he call me. I know nothing about him and dont know how to help him. Someone advised me to go to police in the comments last time. Thats what I'm going to do. I'll take a lawyer and go to police.
The "asking nonsense", my dad does that too, its some control- thing. When mine does it, he wants some reaction that he can hook into, I get the feeling he's trying to annoy me so that I react negatively and he can hammer on me using this reaction as a way in. He often asks nonsensical questions twice, with another question inbetween, that one also often dumb. Like I say I'm not coming over for dinner, then he asks with an almost shocked expression "do you have food at home?" -yes. "Do you need anything? No. "Do you have food?" The last one often comes over as if he thinks I was lying about the 1st time I said yes. He reacts as if he doesn't expect me to survive without him even for a few hours, quite comical actually, with those shocked expressions he makes. I'm over 40 btw. Good luck with your brother, hope both of you can get out of that nasty parents situation and leave it behind so your minds can recover.
@@rahulm2827 thanks, I just want humanity to grow out of this narc epidemic already, I want all the impacted individuals to heal so we can finally have a life like intended.
He used the phone to look busy and important suddenly when we should pay in the store and walked away. So I paid many times. Such a greedy parasite creature.
So she’s basically spoiled. Mothers are controlling. You can love her but don’t need to have your feelings enslaved. People cry out in all sorts of ways. She will get worse before she gets better, but you can ‘educate’ her in the correct ways to be so her suffering will be reduced and her happiness with herself will increase. Stay loving, but firm. Don’t let her turn you into her but you can respect her and still grow yourself into the person you really want to be in your life. Progress confidently and don’t be intimidated!
I made it only so far. I went total NO CONTACT FOREVER just one year ago with my mother. This is bringing back the memories of the horrifying calls from her. I must leave now. BUT I understand totally about the "PHONE CALLS" I will never be in the same room with my mother ever again. Not even if she's dead......very horrible trying to please a narcissist bc it's impossible. A narcissist parent never did, never will love you. NEVER !!!!!
A friend of mine constantly starts looking around and smiles to passing strangers or has a big bout of yawning when its my turn to talk,a lot of this ties in with my suspicions he could be a narc,ive known him for years but this is an eye-opener
Depending on the levels of their narcissism you can sit on the phone and time the amount of time spent listening to them talking at you about themselves. It’s not unusual in my experience to have a 1 hour call which is broken down into 48 minutes them and 2 minutes me. The funny part is when they feign interest in you by asking about you, but when you respond they quickly interrupt and turn whatever you’ve said about themselves and the conversation takes a new direction (well not new, it’s about them). Depending on how bad the personality disorder is, if they do ask about you, it’s often a loaded question where it will provide them with an opportunity to talk you down. Some are more subtle than others, the really bad ones can just leave you thinking “was that meant to be a dig at me?” Yeah, I’m afraid it was.
My mother wasn't a full-fledged narcissist, but certainly had some of the traits. One time she called me (I usually called her), she had little to say, and I wondered why she had called. I asked her a few questions to uncover her motivation for calling. Nothing. Finally I told her I was busy, and ended the call. Later I found out when my sister told called and told me that had called her, and told her she had called me, and I had been very gruff, subjected her to an interrogation, and hung up on her. I realized Mother had called me for me to entertain her, and I was going through one of those blissfully uneventful periods in my life where I hadn't had anything eventful to talk about. I told my sister that Mother had called me, when she had nothing to say, and left me with the responsibility of making all the effort of keeping up the conversation. I was in no mood to ease Mother's boredom, and I politely had ended the call, and had not just hung up. I reminded her of Mother's games of 'divide and conquer' when we were children, and had used it to it to keep us from being close, as she feared we would gang up against her. She agreed it was an attempt to pull that stunt again, and it just brought us closer. That was the end of that episode.
Mine also made me crazy on the phone when others listened in, ( she would not warm me that others listened in) and made me the crazy one. But when SHE was screaming at me, no-one heard that. I started to record her calls ( there are free apps for that) but, after a while, I just stopped talking to her on the phone.
I experienced the "inability to listen" and they just go rage mode if you try to enforce your point, even if you are right or you are trying to remind them about something they forgot that will save them from trouble. They are the most disgusting people ever.
I see my mother once a week and take her shopping and we have lunch together. The remender of the week i phone her. I have health issues and no longer work. My mother never ever asks how i am, how do i feel how am i coping, nothing. I don't talk to her i listen. I listen about all her wowes, her ailments, now someone made her a victim. She never wants to know about me, she is just a complete Debbie downer. I no longer care now she is, ive lost all my guilt, i do what i have to do as a daughter and wish for the day she is no longer her, i know, how awful. But until you've walked in my shoes you will have no idea what its like. I could write a book, but i think that will do for now. Thank you Danish for helping me see through her shit.
Same here. I am so fed up with her dramas and guilttrips I just do the minimum now, talking to the nursing home staff and do her paperwork. I used to call her every day and visited her twice a week but I can't stand being in her presence anymore. Itbis to exhausting. After a 5 min visit I am done for the rest of the day. No more.
The trauma of my feelings being disregarded and emotional abandonment for years , never being heard and always accused of not talking is mind blowing. Why talk to o someone that doesn’t listen!!!
My phone died so late comment. Left out was calling in the middle of the night waking you up so you are disoriented and sleepy and not at 100 percent plus nothing is more fun for a narcissist than depriving you of sleep.
Wow, this video is brilliant. Thank you Danish. I was listening intently. Thinking about people in my life and conversation over the phone. Hope this video helps a lot of people. ❤❤❤
Danish....thankyou for your content. You have literally described my wife, which I'm currently divorcing. You're videos are helping me identify and heal from YEARS of being subjected to this behaviour...daily...and to a very high level. I'm struggling to come to terms with what I've realised she is...and feel a fool for the excuses I made and behaviour I let happen to me, but watching videos such as these are educating me...and really helping. So, thankyou.
SPOT ON !!!!! My husband always hang up on me ...when i try to explain...And validates....And he doesnt like it.....And yes....When he hangs up the phone....I apologized 😢😢😢...Damn....This is resonated me....I stopped and i gave him my ultimatum....I stopped chasing him. Yesss...It's scary behavior...
All is well until you share your thoughts 😩 Your own mother taking your savings is heartless 💔 I get anxious when i see them calling. Know i have to be on guard and be very careful what i say. Oh yes when im struggling they do not get in touch. It just annoys them that im suffering. Such an inconvenience.
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In my case, my mother was already walking in my room at midnight, as I was a kid, also when I had to get up early to school. Later, she was exactly then always texting between 12 Midnight and 1 am and dare me, if I did not answer immediately, no matter, what I had to do the next day in the morning. I broke up the contact two years ago, because I could not bare it anymore. Only one, of many things she did. What was it about? The TV of the neighbour was too loud. I am originally from Austria, but moved in 2017 to the Republic of Ireland. I got a job there and was glad to be as far away from Austria I could. She still managed to terrorise me, until I blocked her completely!
Have gone exactly through this. Its absolutely true the way they behave these Demons
@@shireencassam4206 Unfortunately and yes, I also can only see them as Demons. I slowly start up to "breath again", it was like, I would have something around me (a ring or so), which was made more and more tight, until I hardly could breath. All the best for you. ❤
@@andreagruber5813 Good for you! Took me only 50 years to learn cutting these people out of my life.
You bring up so many things they do!!
1. They will hang up on you when you give them a narcissistic injury.
2. They make weird noises, have side conversations, don't listen, play music etc. during the call.
3. They will appear and disappear during the call.
4. They talk talk talk at you and don't listen. It's all about them
5. They will incessantly call when they know you have an important call or meeting.
They incessantly interrupt and overtalk.
Talk to you with their eyes 👀 closed it's creepy.
Mine would call and call and call, when I didn't answer he would arrive at my workplace. Ending a disagreement was also fun. He would follow me around to natter, complain about how I didn't support him and would totally gaslight me. He would play the victim-- poor me, I'm adopted. A horrible, misogynistic, narcissistic human being. He called me about 7 yrs after we split up. He had had a major heart attack and had gone through major surgery. He was looking for sympathy. He told me he was living with a woman. I said, "of course you are." His response was, "it's the least I could do, she saved my life." After a few more comments on his part I said to him, "huh, well take care, don't call me again, ever." and hung up on him. It was an empowering experience to say the least.
My mother would call over and over and over again instead of leaving a voicemail. Serial calling which irritated me. When I finally called her back, she lectured me on not answering my phone
2. About 5 years ago, a person I had been friends with for 20 years began multitasking whenever we spoke on the phone. For example, she'd be cooking, often dropping pots and pans in the background, or watching youtube videos, or be private messaging other people in chat rooms while trying speak with me on the phone. This behavior caused me to feel disrespected, invalidated, and as if she didn't want to make time for our friendship any more. I realized she didn't value interacting with me, and it felt like she had stopped prioritizing our relationship.
Eventually, I stopped reaching out to her.
I don't pursue people who show no interest in being there for me, and who can't bother to listen, as if what I have to say doesn't matter, and is boring them.
I have zero patience for a lopsided relationship. I expect the give and take present in a healthier friendship dynamic.
It's scary how much you know every detail of my marriage of 30 yrs. Divorced now, praise God❤
It's not scary, a person who has dealt with two narc parents just like me know all the little details of a.narc, even if it's not their love partners. Plus Danish is a professional
Same here only 29 years of marriage !
35y of craziness! He Divorced me...and I too Praise God for FREEDOM!
🎉💛🌝🌹✨🧡💜🌈❤️🌟🌞
It's scary how MANY people say the same thing! But it's TRUE! I'm hoping to be free someday. Been married 24 years, he's a monster. Happy to hear that you got away!
Wow. It makes sense now. This is why I have severe “phone anxiety” and won’t even pick up a call no matter who it is.
Same
I don't pick up half the time either. My time is more important and I don't want to hear the drama. You're protecting yourself and there's nothing wrong with it❤
And they get SO bored if something isn't about them. Then they keep re-steering the "conversations" until it is.
2
@@gigidayz6936 they are blind to anything beyond self...bottomless pit..or probably full of venomous slithering snakes there ..rotting at the bottom of their dirty minds
So yes!!!
@@gigidayz6936 they are sooooo boring to be with...no depth or range of interests of knowledge
Yes you're not lying my dad lives in Texas and every year me and my husband and kids go visit him it seems like he always start a big argument when I'm on my way to see my dad so my energy will be bad when I get there it became like a pattern then when we get there he acts like everything is good he wants to take over the conversation I like to play oldies that my dad like he wants to control the music he wants to control everything I am 43 years old and just now learning about narcissism I wish I knew this 14 years ago I literally just put him out last night so it's fresh and hard for me we have two kids I need God to give me the strength😢
I remember when I used to apologise for things that were not my fault, just to please him. I can't believe how weak I was...........
You were not weak, we have all tried to placate them in numerous ways one because we could never have imagined somebody who supposedly loved us was out to destroy us
@@michaelcoles7588yes, you said it perfectly
You weren't weak, you were being programmed bc you cared.
You're not the only one 😢
I think it was not your weakness but the only way you knew...❤
They call to dump their energy on you, throw a tantrum, blame shift, be a victim and hung up the phone before you say anything! They can’t carry a conversation. If you confront the line disconnects!
My husband of 30 yrs blocks and unblocks me on his phone when it suits him..... ❤
@@melanienaidoo775 but if you don't answer his call, "why do you even have a phone?!"
Yes! My mother is the queen of hang ups! She will hang up on you on a dime. My ex too.
No big loss.
I could be on the phone talking to him about something serious; a job problem, a health issue, and he'd start talking to his pets.
Lord, this is so familiar. I'm currently undergoing treatment for cancer. At my last chemo, I suddenly had an allergic reaction to one of the 3 chemo drugs. I had had 2 other rounds previously without any bad reaction at the time, but this time, my lungs shut completely down. I couldn't draw a single breath for about 4 minutes while my amazing medical team gave me oxygen, steroid and benadryl injections into my port which corrected the reaction. The whole time, I had to be supernaturally calm and still and let my freaked out eyes speak for me with my rn bc the only thought I had was if I broadcast that I'm in trouble, he will make this about him and potentially hurt my team. 5 mins after I had recovered, with the drip now slowed down for safety & monitoring, he started loudly complaining about how LONG it was now taking & that we'd be there for 12 hrs at this rate. I had to apologize for nearly dieing and wasting his time. In front of my team.
@@Shade11906 you didnt have to apologize. why did you apologize????
The difference between me and you I can't leave or feel like I can't leave gotta be there for my mom I feel but at the same time dealing with good old step papa the enemy in disguise
Avoid getting suck in a car during a fight, my ex would drive very dangerously.
Mine too. Used to absolutely terrify me. Still have trauma from it.
Truth!!!
Holy fuck. This is so true. My ex once gave a very traumatic road trip to me. Driving above boulders, imbalanced state of car, stopping in the middle of the road to get attention. I still can't believe why i could not leave him right after that moment!!
Been there too.
God doesn’t punish. If the narcissist is saved, they will be healed of their personality disorder when they meet our Lord.
I am the one who hangs up on the narcissist. I do this because I can only take so much of the non-stop talking. I will also stay quiet and multitask on other things. When he notices that I am quiet, he will ask, "oh is there anything you have to say or add"? My response is no, or I'll say something like, since you like to talk for the both of us, go for it. He can't take the silence and then he will say "ok, we'll talk later. The cycle repeats with baiting, devaluing, discard. I am so ready for this divorce to be finalized.
Exactly. And I let him know I'm going to need to end the conversation if he continues being abusive. I'm not going to listen to abuse. I've ended the friendship at this point.
My dad is a narcissist, last time my sister ignored his phone call because we were in the car, he called back and threatened to run through our house and stab us all. We're all kids btw
Me too "grey rock". Boundaries are important especially before leaving.
I agree and just do what I had to do
But you continue contact. That doesn't count, it's just your excuse. What only counts is total disconnect forever.
Its scary how accurate this is for the narcissist in my life.
It is very interesting because when you examine the behavior of a narcissist and break it down, there are startling similarities. They are easy to see once you are awakened.
Oh yes indeed. So easy.
After 940 days of no contact with my ex wife , low and behold I get a text to call her which I ignored, next day same thing a text to call her again same response finally third day in a row she calls me one ring and hangs up , needless to say I ignored it , don’t need to hear anything she has to say , I am the phoenix
Be strong..don't let anyone e disrespect u
🔥🕊️
Should have blocked her
👏👏👏👏👏
Good for you !!! You are Strong 💪
Talking at me: Zero patience for listening. This is my mom. Literally everything is about her. She talks incessantly, doesn’t even pause for me to speak. If I call her and mention anything I’m going through (recently cancer, chemo, multiple surgeries, death of my son), she completely ignores me and immediately starts talking about herself and what she’s going through, which are little minor things that everyone deals with day to day. She talks and talks and every subject turns into another, and another, on and on she rambles. My problems are not even acknowledged. Forget any support or encouragement, they’re not even acknowledged. She calls people to talk, not to have a conversation.
I’m sorry that you were raised by that woman. My mom was a narcissist too. When I was little and people would tell her how pretty they thought that I was, she would say, “Of course she is! Look at her mother!” My parents treated me horribly. I was a straight A student but never an acknowledgement. But when their friends came to visit they would tell them about my grades and say, “I guess we are great parents! Look how well she turned out!” I couldn’t get away from them fast enough. I left at 17 and never went back. THAT’s how great of parents they were.
When my husband of 40 years passed away, I called my brother to tell him. I was a mess and needed some emotional support. He changed the subject within 2 minutes back to himself. If that weren’t bad enough, I didn’t hear from him for four months. He let me grieve all alone. When he does finally call, it’s to ask me if my husband had left him anything in his Will. I was so happy to say no. Haven’t spoken with him since.
Yep. My mother talks nonstop about herself. The same stories over and over. I can put the phone down and walk away , and I have. Also she gets mad if I tell her that I already heard that, or I don't want to hear the inappropriate story again. Lol
@@LauraSchendel-ko1qkmy bros too. Totally selfish.
@@probi99 I have to take him in small doses, because he is toxic. If for nothing else, our brothers have taught us how to recognize a narcissist so that we don’t make that mistake in the future with a life partner, you know? LOL!
This is spot on. The one which resonates the most is "Talking at You...Zero patience for listening".
Another one I have experienced quite a bit over the years: They say things completely unrelated to what you have said to them because at their end they have people with them and they want to make you sound unreasonable/crazy. So it sounds to their audience like a totally different conversation from the one you are trying to have with them.
@FergusGrant yep I've experienced this. It's horrific to say the least!
True. When people are around them they talk differently.
My convert narc MIL did this to me.
Your grandparents must be something else. Narcissism travels through generations and we must break that cycle.
They can twist conversation
Yes, this is spot on. I'm sick of being talked at instead of having a proper conversation. I'm ignoring his calls from now on.
My ex has always had to have the last say, I told him months ago we are done. through phone calls texts etc.
He texted me the other day with personal avatars and the last one was I am doing better without you Good Bye..lol😂
@@MC-mk6gsHonest question: Why did you not block him on everything when you were done so he could not do that to you?
Why don’t you just block him?
Yes
@@MC-mk6gs😂😂😂😂 good for him. We are so freeeeeee. I love it. Meanwhile they have to go living on in their miserable, sad so- called life.
I used to hang up on my narcissistic father in law.
Frequently.
I refuse to be spoken to like I am lower than another.
He told everyone in the family how rude I was but failed to tell them why I hung up on him.
This encouraged the family to treat me terrible and blame me.
When I tried to explain how he was treating me, this is what I heard: “You know he only cares about you, wants the best for you”.
Really?
By telling me every decision is wrong, I should listen to him, obviously I do not know what I am doing?
Then turning around and encouraging gang stalking against me?
Yeah.
He wanted the best for me.
I'd warn my mom... Be polite,... I'm going to say bye bye 👋, nope 🙅🏻 and then back to it soon ringing and you just know it's her,,,,,
Sounds like my father he claims he wants what's best for me but it's really it's all about him always has been.
I hung up on dad when he was insulting me, he got so angry lol, how dare I hang up while being insulted.
They have reactions sometimes that you can't believe are real, like straight out of a movie. Sadly in some cases it might be just that, my brother once said he learned how to socialize by watching Friends because of the lack of connection within our family. I understand that, being his sister and all. But friggin Friends, really? They weren't even nice to each other, it was constant sarcasm.. from one mindfk into the other. He tried tho lol, he was aware.
Yeah sorry this happened to you. You deserve different . Not okay.
We MUST find and open ONLY WITHIN OUR PACK, not with our abusers. Definitely our pack are all those who went through our same kind of...torture...
Sending hugs
That part about being a bad listener and lacking patience is so true 🔥.
The distraction technique is certainly a weird one: the narcissist rings you up and you imagine that there will be some sort of exchange. But, typically, she is walking home from work, or out and about somewhere, and the point is to use you as an audience for the next 20 minutes of her life: talking to shop assistants, reacting to funny dogs, listening in to some street musician etc etc An authentic conversation is the last thing on her agenda.
I'm glad to say such phone calls are now a thing of the past. I find whatsapp very useful, A brief, written message every few weeks avoids the otherwise rather drastic remedy of stopping all contact.
Thanks for this post: I've found it very helpful!
Wow same! you described my ex behaviours.
They are the same.
Number 5. All the time, particularly if I am in a meeting. One time while I was on vacation, my apartment was broken into and ransacked. He called while I was talking to the police. I told him what happened and that I couldn't talk but would call him later, the police were at my house. He wouldn't stop calling. Finally, I just shut my cell phone off till after I had dealt with the police and filed a report. There is one other thing that they do - they call for some information which you have to look up. You say, "I'll call you right back". When you try and call with the information they wanted - they don't answer the phone.
Yes getting you on their task list then acting like they never asked you to do it and then wonder why you’re annoyed then a fight is on
After finally moving out on my own hanging up on the narc was one of my most freeing moments then cutting all ties was the ultimate freedom. 19 years now and still healing.
I'm an older person and two of the three narcs from my past aren't even alive anymore, yet I still enjoy the feeling of being free of them.
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective digitalinvestigate@gmail.com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
My nex wasn't interested in sex with other women, but still a narc. They're not all womanizers.
R you following him now ? Maybe you should mentally should let him go. He might even know and like being followed ❤
Okay hear me out. I don't think the guy was a narc. It sounds to me, he didn't have a committed relationship and he got what was easy. Or, big or. He saw the weak gazelle on the African safari, and his lion instincts kicked in. Dude was just tryna eat 😅, it's a drought out here for normal guys. 😂😂😂😂 I got my own narc story too, I think most ppl do. I'm curious, what's everyone else's story?
You have to be very careful to who you give your love to also. Because you won't be able to get it back.
This intriguing video serves as a poignant reminder of the heartache I've been enduring since my 7 year relationship came to an end 4 months ago. My cherished partner, the love of my life, made the difficult decision to part ways, leaving me consumed by thoughts of him. Despite my earnest attempts to win him back, I find myself facing frustration and an overwhelming sense of emptiness, unable to envision a life without his presence. Despite my efforts to move on, I'm compelled to confess my lingering feelings and longing for him here.
The process of releasing a loved one can be an uphill battle. I can relate, having navigated a similar journey when my 8 year relationship dissolved. Despite the heartache, I refused to relinquish hope and embarked on a quest to win him back. Turning to a spiritual counselor for assistance, I found guidance that ultimately led to our reconciliation.
Impressive! How did you manage to connect with a spiritual counselor, and what's the process for me to reach out to her?
Allow me to introduce Suzanne Ann Walters, a highly skilled spiritual counselor known for her expertise in rekindling past relationships.
Thank you for this invaluable information; I've just checked her out online. Very impressive indeed!
I have some of those same feelings I've never been do confused angry happy and exploited at the same time .I'm too old for this .
Narcissistic Ex used to take me shopping as someone with Agoraphobia and leave me in the supermarket causing me to go into a panic attack. He used to be on calls to me in town and then say hi to random strangers in the street whilst on the phone, he would sometimes just hang up mid conversation to go and speak to someone else and even new supply he had ‘bumped into’ whilst on the phone to me.
My narc friend at the time used to walk around distracting herself and was always doing something whilst on the phone to me, she’d ring me and then start doing things crashing about being weird.
I dumped both their butts and moved on! 😂
My sister is always banging around when we're on the phone. I have hyperacusis, so background noise is extremely painful to my ears. When I mention the noise, as carefully as possible, she snaps at me, "I'm not doing anything!!!" I tell her it sounds like she's demolishing a building because of my condition. She then tells me she can't talk very long. She always thinks she's the busiest person in the world.
@@debbiekennedy6030I have that too! I think my narc makes loud noises sometimes just to make my poor ears ring.
@@katherineverret3143 I'm sorry to hear that. I know it is actually physically painful for you. It's strange, I can listen to fairly loud music and am fine, but certain sounds, and phones cause me to climb the walls.
I noticed my cousin does that, you will be on the call with her and she hardly listened and makes funny side distractions or talk with other people 😂wooohooo
went sealife center lol he went toilet and i waited outside, then my daughter said she needs a wee after he already walked in. (he knew my phone battrey was low btw as i couldnt take pictures) i popped in quickly hoping he assunes weve gone toilet to (cubicles are right next door) i come out he was missing goneeeee , goneeeee lol i rang n rang n rang said line busy
when i found him he was on the phone walking out sea life center talking to another girl. like wdffff then threaten me in the car..... it was to much way to much like....
Before cutting off a former friend, I could put the phone down for a while and he's still would still be talking. When I would try to re-enter the conversation, he would shift his tone and bring up the "important" issues of his conversation. I then could put the phone down so he could talk to himself about himself again.
That's sooo my husband.
Yeap they are soo importantttt! Wtf
😂😂😂 so true.. best way to handle them
I have never come across anyone who describes this behaviour so well.
It’s such a relief to hear it explained by someone else
yes so true
They also like to call you from a car, which drives me crazy because they then can come up with a million sudden excuses to hang up on you and/or keep the call short. They love calljng you from a car, dropping shit in your head, then getting off the phone. They will also call you from a car to help them kill time. I had one friend, now an ex-friend, who when I was in the devalue phase use to call me while she was in line at the drive-through waiting for her food. I also always got a call from heron my birthday usually around 6 pm, the time most people are NEVER home on their birthday. A phone is a weapon to a narcissist.
Right 👍
Absolutley. My ex called me, started talking and when I wanted to say something he had to stop at the gasstation. I was ' But you called me, so what the ...?'. They steel my time but no more🎉
That's why you have to block their number. Use the blocking feature
Agree 💯
Right. My mom's phone was a weapon to her.
Yep 44 yrs of it - freedom is soooo sweet
May such Narcissistic people be punished by God in a way that they realise their mistakes 🙏
It’s something you need to learn not as a punishment to you but to help you understand to keep your boundaries.
I may hope so they will be punished hard👍👍mean evil people!! The problem nowadays: Everywhere where you are with a small or medium big group of people, there is very often at least one person with a real narcissistic personality disorder and often also one or two persons with clear traits of narcissism. Nowadays it's a big puzzle to only go along with not toxic and not narcissistic people. It's searching to create such a healthy group. I hope in future it will get better, but i'm worried.
@@Anonymous-du4zt Avoid groups of people, socialise with one or two people.
Every thing
That's called therapy.
OMG!!! This was every phone call I had with my daughter. I haven’t seen or talk to her for two years. The peace I am feeling now is indescribable. Thank you so much for your videos!
My daughter did this also.
My son, my only child did the same to me. He died 2 yrs ago from lifestyle. My pain is indescribable of losing him, but also God has been watching and gave me peace.
Pre marriage sessions should teach DSM-5 issues.
@@user-em8on8py9z I am so so sorry for the pain you must be feeling
My daughter is the same way. She is my only child and we’re not speaking right now because I defended myself and she didn’t like it
Called only when something was wrong. This was my daughter. Haven't seen or talked to her in 2 years. The peace is amazing
Living this, too. Freeing.
Children are hard but It was a hard lesson and a lot of $$$ to learn boundaries and distance. 👍🏽
Yes! Dont miss the drama, but i DO miss my granddaughter 💔
I can’t believe you guys cut off your kids forever. That’s wild.
@@ladyjadelindiakids cut their selves off ,just becuz you share DNA with someone doesn't mean you should bow down to being abused by them defunded by them and harmed. By them sometimes distance is BEST you must have boundries especially with family that thinks family relations means you have to tolerate their unkind abusive behaviors
My goodness you're 100% right!! The minute they call u have to prepare yourself mentally for the games they play, they love hanging up on u to annoy you,plus they want you to call them back
Danish….Im sorry you’re also a victim of Narcissist Abuse…thank you so much for eloquently explaining them to us…it’s so needed & appreciated 🙏
U understand this wen u get through... If u havenot met a narcissist u would never understand
Amen💯❤
I watch all your videos. I grew up with a malignant narcissist mother and a covert narcissist father. The telephone habits of my parents were like any other conversations we had. It was all about them and I didn’t matter. I worked shift work and couldn’t turn my phone off because I worked in emergency services and was often on call. They made a point of calling when I was trying to get some sleep. They said I was lazy for sleeping during the day even if I had just worked a very busy twelve hour night shift and was going to work another one in a couple of hours. They have both passed away and I tell a lie when people ask me if I miss them. I tell them I do, but the truth is, it’s a great relief not to deal with them any more. Thank you for your videos. I don’t feel so crazy or alone anymore.
That was horrible that you went through.. I'm so glad you are finally having some peace of mind.
@@chris-b thank you. The phone calls were one aspect of their narcissistic behavior. I wish I’d known then what I know now. I’m grateful to Danish and his videos.
@@teresasmith4383 that one aspect speaks a lot about all the other aspects without you telling them. After all they all are the same. A bunch of soulless people.
@@chris-b you are right about that. I was just a tool to be used and then ignored.
My junior year in college, I had evening final exams one term, and I had to be out of my dorm room that same night because the college was starting renovations on the building the next morning. I arrived home exhausted at 2:00 am after a long drive. My narc father was in my basement room at 7:30 a.m. angrily demanding that I get up. When I told him that I had late finals and asked why he was doing this, his answer was, "I JUST THINK YOU SHOULD BE UP!" and then marched back upstairs to go to work. Sleep deprivation is yet another tool used to control others around them.
The constant background noises. While I speak he started to wash dishes with extreme loud noises. And yes, put me aside and walk out of the room and I was just: "hallo...are you here?" Then after a while "oh sorry just been feeding the cat outside" etc. Many times ask him back if you heard what I said, of course he didnt. Or pretended not to.
The washing the dishes, yes, very annoying.
My father was a toxic narcissist - drove so many to death and suicide - my brother, my sister-in-law, my mother. He made me very sick with a heart condition due to chronic stress and anxiety and my older brother into a becoming a total recluse from society.
I’m so sorry….heal & no contact 🌸🌸
I can understand what you are going through , stay strong survivor, God is with you❤
Wow… I am so sorry. That is truly awful. I am glad you are still here and I pray you will be healed from all that trauma and that you get to have joy and peace and real love in your life ❤
Thank you, all. I survived only because I was the youngest and not directly targeted. The others who challenged him were like my mom - honest and straightforward, no match to his cunning, never understanding where he was coming from. He recruited my mom's own birth family against her. My brother
assures me that in human society narcissism is the norm. This is borne out by the state of the world as it has always been. Today we have the knowledge but whether we can escape from the narcissists in our lives is another matter. Because many may find themselves truly trapped, especially in a marital situation for women who may be the victims of financial abuse as well, and so dependant on the narcissist, who - GET THIS - very often finds the law also to be on his side!
I truly understand
He will call me so many times non stop , if he picking me up he will call many times I’m outside , I’m outside , I’m out side . He is very impatient and will say why you don’t answer your phone . He already knew why .
This!!
Mine will send me msg after msg, if I don't respond fast enough he'll start calling both on viber and normal phone, lol as if that makes a difference. If I don't pick up then its "ok I'm coming over". Cuz he's "worried". About fkng what exactly??? Me having a life? Its intteresting that my dad's side of the family does it "cuz they're worried" while my mom's side does exactly the same, but when I don't respond fast enough then its "if you're angry at me just say so, we never have to talk again". Tf is wrong with all of them lol...well we know. My mom's side have this covert version, dad's is full blown "open" npd.
@@illyria7756I was wondering what the heck was up with the frantic calling when I don't answer the phone when they think meaning my x and my daughter cuz they "worry"?! Humm... I'm thinking about what exactly.?
@@laurac.9322 yes! It's so weird right, I'm glad I'm not the only one, thank you so much. I think they pretend to worry, cuz worrying is an accepted excuse (for bothering someone) plus it makes them look good. And if you tell others about it, like I have, people react like "aw, he's just worried, he cares", they don't sense the undertone. So its good for the narcs image while it hides their true intentions, which I think, is to have total control over us. These are just my impressions of my own family members ofc.
I only recently realised it's full blown npd in the family I grew up in, I knew there was narcicism but not the full extent of it. It explained every single detail, why I am the way I am. It's not fkng me, like they've been saying all my life, its them.
Excuse my long reply, am still working through all of it and honestly I am fully isolated, I have 0 people to talk to.
Yes they message a lot and call you repeatedly if you don't answer! My sis always says that my phone doesn't work. She thinks I only speak on the phone..I work! Or might be busy..if you call her she answers you after hours or says she difn't see the message...and yes it's all about her. I'm done 😢.
I used to pretend to forget my phone at home when I went out with my friends. Did it on purpose . I was so tired of being called for no reason at all every 10 minutes asking when I was going to be home.
I "lost" my phone because of this. He bought me another one and I'm just so absent minded that I lost that one too. I remember having gone to a party for a friend who was going overseas for an extended time, and my ex husband calling me every 20 minutes, screaming down the phone at me. There was another time when I was trying to do the grocery shopping, and he started calling repeatedly because our 1yo daughter was hungry and he was demanding I come home to make her lunch. Useless 🦆
But when you are home they ignore you right?
@@srodriguez721 my narcissistic demon would leave.
@@terrydyer2490 It’s Probably better for you that they leave!
@srodriguez721 It was better. I've been no contact for over 4 years but the trauma damage is still a nightmare, my narcissist was my daughter, The abuse she has done damaged me beyond repair. She is dead to me and she did something that I will never forgive...
❤ Thank you for your talk today on Hanging up. My Mother was a Covert Narcissist and since my Dad died when I was 3, there was no adult to protect me. She was smart and abused me emotionally, neglected me & blamed me. So I married another Covert Narcissist and suffered worse abuse. His favorite way of hurting me is to hang up on me, saying “I don’t want to talk to you anymore- bang! I’m the person who is faithful, and I discovered he has another woman he won’t give up. I want out, but the physical damage done to my body through all this stress has caused me to have to quit my job as a nurse and I’m on disability. I’m trying to get well enough to work because right now I can’t make my financial obligations without his help. I would be glad to pay you to talk to me if you have any ideas on what I can do to get away from him. we’ve been married almost 5 years. I know I can’t bear this much longer and I’m trying to work my way out of this. Thank you, Teri.
Dear Danish, maybe you should do an episode of narcissistic children...... Because there are parents who go through this as well.
Yes!
oh man how scary
They love when we hang up on them in anger or frustration. They smugly think "I won that one". Sick people.
ÑThey surely have a smirk on their face..
👍🏻🤣🤣🤣😖😖😖😖😬
Today a “friend” texted “I hate when people hang up on me!”
I haven’t responded to his 5 attempts at getting me to respond.
I don’t want to talk with someone who’s drunk and over talking.
He actually texted me “I didn’t diss you”. I haven’t done anything but stop responding to him.
Dunzo with that behavior.
I am sooo grateful for your videos... I am just now realizing that my son is a worse version of narcissist. I am heartbroken, 💔 (as he is my only child and I went through hell in an abusive marriage with his father), but will not let him hold me his hostage. He does absolutely every single thing explained in this video. I am so overwhelmed by his abuse and arrogance... I am now planning on moving back to Europe and just leaving him here in the US. I need break and healing. Over the years of such abuse, I lost my physical and mental health because of him. I lost myself... 😢💔
😢 the apple didn't fall far from the tree.
@@idid138 sadly, very true... 💔
Feel same as you. My eldest son is exactly like described in video. As as if there the Actor and I'm just the person in the audience listening and watching.
@@DottyDolly-39 🌷💜 yes, exactly described... like watching endless drama 💔, day in - day out... If possible, please say no to that 🙏🏻
Yes me to.
Yep! Last night ! Hang up in the middle of a conversation that they called and started!!! I’d said “ Thanks, but I’ve already done that,” and instead of a normal “Oh that’s great! Thanks!” I got grumbling name calling and a hang up. It was no big deal, the situation. I am now proud of myself for not calling back and ask why!!
They take everything as an insult, while always looking for ways to insult you. I'm under constant criticism and it's gotten to the point I don't give a flip or even try to please him anymore.
6:48 Yes appears and disappear is very common
My ex-husband would listen to my phone calls. It didn't matter if they were personal calls with family or friends, or if they were work related calls. He would either interrupt me and tell me what to say to the person or he would criticize me after the call. He would say "that was so unprofessional or your mother calls too much and is crazy". I would try to leave the house and talk to people outside. Then he would tell me I am hiding things or I don't want him to know what I'm talking to people about. On the flip side, I always listened to his calls because that was the only way I could find out what was going on. He would never communicate with me, so I had to listen to what he told other people to learn about what plans were being made or what I might need to prepare for. So very irritating.
I’ve experienced being in the presence of someone. ( like being with them in the car) it was all fine and dandy when they were on the phone.. talking loudly and laughing and they would talk through the car speakers.. or if they wanted to make it seem like they were having an important call, they would take it off speaker and talk with the phone to ear. If I had something to say, like to tell them they are making the wrong turn.. they will wave me off to be quiet. I would have wait until they were done…..
If I’m on the phone in their presence, they act irritated like I’m being rude or they will straight up ask me who am I talking to.. I used to just answer and they would then interject themselves in my conversation, trying to say hello to the person I’m talking to. Now, I ignore the question and they will now, yell out random names to try and get me to say who I’m talking to.. I just say “no” and keep talking.. when that doesn’t work, they will turn the radio up so loudly, that I have to close off one ear to hear the person… then finally, I can’t hear at all and will have to hang up quickly
The other thing they do is to ask loudly what I said over and over again to interrupt…I’ll have to say,” I’m not talking to you…” … (let’s say someone else is in the car) they will claim that I am disturbing them and the other person’s conversation…if that doesn’t get me off the phone, they will call someone, talk to them through the car speaker.. and then exclaim the I am distracting them from their conversation…. They’ll also try and listen in ( like your ex- husband did to you) to tell me what I should and shouldn’t say…
I’m never on the phone long, because I know I can’t speak freely; when I am it’s a circus.
When there are no phone calls no distractions .. they will call someone to keep from having to talk to me.😂.
@chaseback5102 Thank you for sharing. I completely identify with your experience. 😰
My dad did that and it gave me the worst phone anxiety! He'd also interrogate me about what I posted on Facebook
Over the years my wife has been verbally abusive and physically abusive towards me if she gets mad she will break my things,she has cheated on me but never wants to talk about it lately if I try to tell her how I feel she gets mad and start yelling so I’ll hang the phone up am I wrong for hanging up? I’m learning that she could be a narcissist. If I try to hold her accountable she cries and say I’m attacking her her and that I’m the narcissist, I’m on blood pressure medication now and my head always hurting I’m tired and feel like all my energy is gone, my sleep is off.
The worst thing is I have to keep my feelings to myself or it becomes a big argument.
When we met 17 years ago she told me that she prayed to God for a man like me thst would love her and her son who was a year old at the time she treated me so good that I was like yes this the one but later on she started talking about me and saying things that really cut my spirit but I had fell in love with her then we had a son and that really made me want to make it work. In the past 17 years I have been through so much that I can’t name all of it. The bad part is my family and friends really love her they tell me that I’m blessed to have her but not knowing the things the kids and I go through. I’m sorry for rambling but as I started typing it started coming out.
I need help I have no one to talk too some times I feel like I’m dying inside.
😮😢
Your children are seeing and feeling you suffering. For your own health and safety of your children, you could maybe consider moving out to a peaceful place. It is hard but so worth it !
Prepare everything quietly and have evidence on how bad she is treating you just in case.
It's not fair on you. Your children will be proud of you and you will be proud of yourself.
I'm sorry that's awful that she's treating you so badly 😔 I wouldn't feel bad for hanging up if she is shouting at you, or belittling you. You don't deserve that. I'd like to say maybe she will learn to have some respect but I don't know how likely that is.
You need to get out before it kills you. I am in the same boat.
Sounds a lot like the marriage I just got out of. The best u can do is quietly create an escape route and execute. It sounds like ur kids are older so talk it out with them to see where they stand on the subject and make ur decision. What I will say is: it’s gonna be difficult, but stay the course. Ur peace and ur health are worth more than whatever she can give/offer. If necessary, block her and do ur best to avoid contact unless it’s about the kids. An extra piece of advice: get therapy from the trauma u endured, it’s definitely worth it.
Please take advice given by the beautiful souls here. Staying longer and deteriorating even further.. not worth it. Get out and go on the journey of self-healing.
With him it was always him who will talk...i just have to listen and when he finished he cut the line without listening to me...this always left me confused scratching my head 😕
"My" narcissist routinely hangs up on me for no reason whatsoever. It seems to be some sort of game/control thing, or simply for his own pleasure. It's not even during an argument . I'll be saying something, trying to make arrangements or whatever, and mid sentence, he'll just hang up. I used to get really annoyed, but then I realised that pleased him. Now I just ring back and carry on as if nothing happened. I pray for the day when I have things in order to get away from him!!!
Soooo True!!! When they show contempt and you insert intolerance toward that behavior they hang up quick I repeat do not call back!!!!!
Oh, the hanging up on me. I'm well aware of that pattern. Thank you Danish.
Our household phone was next to his chair. While we (family members calling friends or recieving a call)would be speaking he would mime putting the phone down,or he would talk to us loudly when we were trying to talk to the caller. If my mum wants to phone me ON HER OWN MOBILE she has to go out to the garden while he is napping.
Ex had some weird thing if u are talking a shower, he would always try to get in. Pass 2 bathrooms to get into mine,
@@ladynicole888 probably thought you might escape down the plughole. Really,they are pathetic.
@@pheart2381looooooool im dead mine always use to jump in my baths the one place i have peace
1000times i have gone through this. Only a survivor can understand the pain. Thanks for bringing it out.
This reminds me of something which now i find funny as i am aware of narcissistic ways..
My Mom a narc was traveling with fellow narc...my brother. She wanted to check up on me but not hurt my brother's ego. She calls and when I pick up, her first line is 'Oh you had called'? I did not, but she wanted my brother to think that i had called her earlier, and she was just checking back..
So true! They listen to respond rather than listen to understand. Super frustrating when at work and need their approval. We refer to our co-worker as a seagull….flies in squawking, craps on everything, & flies out squawking leaving a mess for everyone else to fix and/or clean up.
Interesting... In my case it's the inconsistency. Total absence, ignorance and all of a sudden a reappearance (ghost like ! That was an interesting analogy...) they come to haunt actually but all smile all nice, but the moment you dontn go their way of don't feed their grsndiisity... They become the victim, you are trapped... Horrible
Danish you are spot on. You are under a spiritual guidance that reminds you of what you have been through.
100% he is spiritually guided, i resonate with him when he said he was a dedicated kid towards God just to find some.peace, same thing happened to me, I followed the path towards God cz there was nothing to hold on to with narc parents
Deciding to talk on the phone loudly and unexpectedly while you wait for them and wait for them and wait for them.
Talking loudly on the phone in public, especially about money, to feel important and fill everyone’s space.
Omg when mom used to do this ..still does actually but it bothered me soooo bad like it's so obvious she just wants everyone to hear so embarrassing n now dating a guy that has his own business n every public phone call with a client is on speaker n he so loud ......hate that I'm so used to all the toxic traits they share ....also the bf n mom have the same birthday i strongly thinks tht makes it worse
I am no contact with my mother...and the rest of the fake family i speak seldom to or never...
This is so recognizible , this trauma binding I had too , it,s so exhausting
Honestly, this is one of the best channels regarding exposure of NPD. This "ghost appearance" is exavtly what happend 3 months ago, the principal of a school. Trying to achieve her goals via flying monkeys. Not via phonecall but email. Her flying monkey added her as a CC
This happened to me just this morning. I called him an idiot which was wrong but it didn't matter they called me a bitch, a mfer, a retard, stupid and many other names but all that was ok. And I didn't even use it in a real cruel context but neither of us need to be calling names 😢and everything else you pointed out they do too.
@@natashahall2134 you should have called them an ambulance 🚑 😐
in a fight last week, I made him look at me like an ox and that for years I repeat a scene, the snake bites me and instead of going for help, I run after the snake to ask him why he bit me , and he bites me again... a huge scandal broke out, but for years during the argument I told him that he was good, he told me that I was good for nothing, interesting how a single offense in years is more grave as all his offences
God Bless your wisdom!!! My soon to be ex husband would hang up on me all the time ! One time I literally just called to ask for prayer.(I am a Christian) that is all I wanted. Prayer. He hung up. When we were fully married before our separation he never ever ever called me, I would call him dozens of times. How do you not answer your wife??? But you have time all day to talk to other people and scroll social media. I was in the hospital once and he didn't answer and I guess he read the text that I was in the hospital, but he didn't come to the hospital. Because he was too busy doing his laundry. I rarely speak to him and when I do, it's just a reminder of "oh! Yup. This is why you requested a divorce!" I know it is hard to disengage, I personally empathize with anyone struggling to go no contact. But they aren't thinking abot you. They are not. I'm happy, I don't spend much time at all thinking of him. It is so freeing. It is like this cloak of invisible dread has heen taken off my body. So liberating. Whenever you are ready, you will experience the same freedom too I hope. But that your time this is a hard and complex situation for everyone. Survivor and beloved you are strong!!!❤
I LOATHE when the narc cleans the litter box, or scrolls WITH SOUND, or drives in heavy traffic when talking to me. You're very smart Danish ty🎉
LOL. Well already told this person all the highlights about how I was the obvious smart intelligent fun and dangerously beautiful humble super christian and everyone loves me. I don't want to hear about your mundane nothing life, I'll just vaccuum until we can go back to talking about MEMEMMEMEMEMEEEEEEEEEEEEE. After all, its very thoughtful of me to listen to you drone on about these idiotic problems you get yourself into, Jesus will think I'm such a great person for this. I dont make mistakes though, thats why everyone loves me and if you just listened to my advice your life would be so much better. Albeit my advice would ruin your life but honestly, who are you to need a big existence? Little ant farm people like you need a good humbling. Maybe I'll walk out to the mailbox and see if anyone is outside I can share my highlight reel with while youre talking. I mean I hate the negativity, I would just rather talk about positive things. Thats why I am a breath of fresh air to everyone in my life and they are all dying to get a piece of meeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
My narc sister used to call me from her car on her way home from work (in crazy traffic) just to brag about herself. Then she'd pretend to be interested in me. Once the topic turned to me she'd quickly say she had to go. I finally refused to answer her calls when I knew she was driving home from work.
@@AFK62-u7e good job, you're onto her!
My narc ex. girlfriend only wanted to talk videocall (facetime) I didnt get it, but now i know it was to analyze my face while speaking, she wanted to see the tears in my eyes, my face expression when she pressure tested me all the time. 😢
The best part of your write up is the ex that you wrote before girlfriend. You are a smart boy for taking that decision.
My Narc mother pretended to not recognize people's voice over the call to make them feel less important. Even when she used to call me she used to ask me who is on the line. My standard response when she asked me to identify myself, i used to hang up on her using her own love language. Eventually she complained to me that i do not call her or i hang up on her when she calls. My response was if you do not identify the voice of your only daughter then may be i was not the intended recipient of the call so it is best to hang up. She stole and sold the jewelry my dad got me to buy me different jewelry as gift. I turned the new one down and asked her to take it to her funeral pyre, as scapegoat in my past life i know exactly how to cut the crap with Narcissist.
Oh yes, the "who is there " 😂.
Omg,the games they play are so crazy.
Exactly. These habits are ways to control you and gain power. The narcissist will say they want to speak to you, however a TV program is on. When you say ok and turn the volume down, the narcissist says we could have talked when the commercial was on, I want to see the rest of this show. Completely blowing you off so that you'll be annoyed and walk away. Then, they'll say, 'well I wanted to talk, but you walked away! Total gaslighting!
The few times my mother called me was just hours of 'I..me...my...'. Nothing important, nothing interesting, just taking up my time and attention and showing me who's boss and who's in control.
One of the last times i saw my parents, they came to my house uninvited after being told we had plans. We gave them tea and entertained them anyway, and they couldn't even bother to feign interest in me, my partner, or anything we tried to show them or tell them. They literally started looking around the room like a kid with adhd every time one of us tried to speak.
On top of that, they're trying to one-up each other the whole time. So uncomfortable and off the charts cringe.
Yep, my sister to a T. Can’t get a word in edgewise. Conversation is 100% about her. Never, “How are YOU doing?”
I completely understand the intimidation tactics of a narcissist who preys on our weekenesses. It freaks me out, too. It's like they have demonic eyes & ears that perk up when we're succeeding in any small way!
My mom used to yawn and get really quiet on our phone conversations. She said I put her to sleep, my voice was too soft or something, she didn't say it in a mean way so I just thought my voice or conversations were dragging. She never seem to contribute to the conversations on the phone so I tried to fill in that awkward silence by carrying the whole conversation mostly myself. This always made me emotionally exhausted. She was the one that always told me I needed to call her more, but once on the phone she acted like she was always tired after I spoke for awhile...it was weird.
It wasn't until years later that I would learn about Narcissism, and scapegoats etc...and that's when I started seeing things differently. Was that what was happening to me I wondered. So many mental and physical abusive things happened to me when I was growing up.
I started getting braver and tried setting boundaries to protect the mental abuse I realized I was going through and that is when a rage I had never seen before would come from my mother, this was after I had children of my own and started seeing how they were being manipulated and emotionally hurt as well, and that is when I set up rules to protect my children and my mother went bananas.
My husband and I had no choice but to go No Contact with the whole family after that and that hurt of course but at least it gave our children a chance to be able to get out of the system for the future generations.
It has been over a decade of going No Contact, we have had to change our phone numbers, emails, and even moved across the country. Our yard was poisoned, someone tried to steal my identity and was using my credit points, things were stolen from our house, I was sent a card from a cousin where they were pretending to be my Nana who passed away that I was very close to, and on and on the family/strangers/ ex friends gang stalking would go...and to this day it still continues.
With everything we have been through, I would still go No Contact, wish I would have done this sooner for my children. My husband and I are more at peace away from them. When we had to change our social media accounts they still searched us out to harass us, we shut the accounts down. Now that they have found our business accounts we just ignore and block them. We have spoken to a lawyer about our situation and unless they do something really bad where we can prove it was them, there is really nothing we can do. If we get an order against them, they will love that because it means we are in a battle now, and that's what they want. So the best advice is to live a happy and good life and ignore the demons.
😮😮😮
Would this count?
While I don't think my dad is a narcissist, I do remember plenty of times growing up when he would answer a call or make a call on the kitchen phone, then talk in the living room or kitchen while the tv was on and ask or demand the tv volume lowered if me or someone else was watching. Rather than talk in a completely different room that was quiet. It's as though he did this on purpose. I would think any normal person would logically want to go where it's less quiet without bothering anyone else. I can imagine narcissists purposely being in a noisy room to be controlling or manipulative.
That's the Narcissist's playground, Controlling and Manipulation. They really do lack common sense! Even a child Knew the correct answer to this problem. That's how you know that what they are doing to you, on purpose, isn't right. Always blame others and never look in the mirror for a self evaluation. The whole world is wrong and the Narcissist is right...Always! Another clue.
My mother (covert narc) would call me, make some criticism disguised as a joke about how she's not important enough or I'm too busy to ever call her, then she'd proceed to yammer on and on about all the things she was doing, including the most inane things, or people I didn't even know. When finished, 100% of the time she'd end the call by saying in this weird lecturing tone (as though I'm the one who phoned her and took up her valuable time), "Well, [my name], I have to go. I've got a million things to do..." then she'd list some of those things and that would be the end of the call. I always felt like I had whiplash after. She wonders why I barely ever called her.
My mom does the same.
When you are talking to a narcissist husband, they suddenly pick some random call and starts talking on phone as if you were not talking to him, and there's no one in front of them. If I'd have to receive some necessary call while listening to someone, I'd say, excuse me, just hold on, we will continue after this call. But narcissist husband receives call even it is the least important call, they pretend to be very busy doing nothing at all.
Yeah that's my husband.
It’s a very dirty tactic. They want to act self important, superior. It becomes a horrible habit they won’t stop doing with you, to make you feel like you’re not important. You can do it when they’re around, too. Call your friends and be in the phone all the time when he’s nearby. This used to be mainly a female habit, but it wasn’t malicious. Nowadays, males are doing it out of contempt and spitefulness. They have become vindictive and petty. It’s their new tactic of mysogyny.
Ex narc used to point at the watch ⌚️ as if to say get off the phone it's costing me money
Experienced all of those behaviors /x-narc of 7 months.Don't miss his "evil behavior at all!"Thanks Be to God,intervened when he did.Forever and Always Love to God.Amen🙏❤️
Yes same God and my son Saved me
They always walk out of the room...and walk up and down
Yeah, what’s the walking up and down about??
Favorite destination: The Bathroom. That’s how they believe they can get you to shut up. They want zero engagement of any type and it’s a control mechanism.
They can't sit still Always on the go 🏃🏃🏃🤸
Perfect description of my relationship with my daughter. I have spent years wondering what I have done wrong and feeling that I have not done enough for her. We communicate mainly via telephone calls (frequency controlled by her) and there are subjects I am not allowed to talk about and I always feel that I am walking on eggshells. I try not to call her too often as she says she is very busy so I leave it around 3 weeks then send a text to see if she is ok. Sometimes I get a reply and sometimes not. She visits me once every 4 to 5 years and refuses the offer to stay in my home. We had a recent disagreement and she has now decided to cut contact with me. I am sad about it but realise that this is probably for the best so I can get off the emotional roller coaster.
I have gone through every experience as you have described. I feel my whole life has turned meaningless 😢
That’s what they want you to feel. Don’t give them that satisfaction. They are spoiled people.
Yes it makes us so sad but we can make it! They are sick people. Best to go no contact. If you can't for some reason minimum contact 👍
😢
Funny you should bring this up, I was talking with my ex narc this morning, that's exactly what he did; talking to me while talking to other people, I couldn't even hear anything and finally he said; I will call you back later, that was 11 Hours ago. If it was him that needed something from me, he would be calling me every second of the day.
My husband worked out of town & would call me from the hotel, but then constantly be talking & joking with his co-workers instead. So annoying.
My demon narcissist father used to call, ask something non-sensical and hang up abruptly without saying bye. No clue why the demon did that, just happy that he is out of my life forever.
Also, today, as many times before, I actually screamed while writing to my mother on whatsapp.
I was enquiring about my brothers mental health and she just doesnt tell me something, writes all kinds accusations at me, distracts with other topics all the while when I ask specific, exact questions.
Its my brothers birthday and I dont know ANYTHING at all. How is he, what is he going through? Why doesnt he call me. I know nothing about him and dont know how to help him.
Someone advised me to go to police in the comments last time. Thats what I'm going to do. I'll take a lawyer and go to police.
The "asking nonsense", my dad does that too, its some control- thing. When mine does it, he wants some reaction that he can hook into, I get the feeling he's trying to annoy me so that I react negatively and he can hammer on me using this reaction as a way in. He often asks nonsensical questions twice, with another question inbetween, that one also often dumb. Like I say I'm not coming over for dinner, then he asks with an almost shocked expression "do you have food at home?" -yes. "Do you need anything? No. "Do you have food?"
The last one often comes over as if he thinks I was lying about the 1st time I said yes.
He reacts as if he doesn't expect me to survive without him even for a few hours, quite comical actually, with those shocked expressions he makes. I'm over 40 btw.
Good luck with your brother, hope both of you can get out of that nasty parents situation and leave it behind so your minds can recover.
@@illyria7756 Thank you, wish you all the best too ❤️🙏🏻
@@rahulm2827 thanks, I just want humanity to grow out of this narc epidemic already, I want all the impacted individuals to heal so we can finally have a life like intended.
He used the phone to look busy and important suddenly when we should pay in the store and walked away. So I paid many times. Such a greedy parasite creature.
I've experienced all of the five malignant habits with my mother. Afterwards my day is almost ruined 😕
So she’s basically spoiled. Mothers are controlling. You can love her but don’t need to have your feelings enslaved. People cry out in all sorts of ways. She will get worse before she gets better, but you can ‘educate’ her in the correct ways to be so her suffering will be reduced and her happiness with herself will increase. Stay loving, but firm. Don’t let her turn you into her but you can respect her and still grow yourself into the person you really want to be in your life. Progress confidently and don’t be intimidated!
@@CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger Thank you ☀️🍨
I made it only so far. I went total NO CONTACT FOREVER just one year ago with my mother. This is bringing back the memories of the horrifying calls from her. I must leave now. BUT I understand totally about the "PHONE CALLS" I will never be in the same room with my mother ever again. Not even if she's dead......very horrible trying to please a narcissist bc it's impossible. A narcissist parent never did, never will love you. NEVER !!!!!
A friend of mine constantly starts looking around and smiles to passing strangers or has a big bout of yawning when its my turn to talk,a lot of this ties in with my suspicions he could be a narc,ive known him for years but this is an eye-opener
Depending on the levels of their narcissism you can sit on the phone and time the amount of time spent listening to them talking at you about themselves. It’s not unusual in my experience to have a 1 hour call which is broken down into 48 minutes them and 2 minutes me. The funny part is when they feign interest in you by asking about you, but when you respond they quickly interrupt and turn whatever you’ve said about themselves and the conversation takes a new direction (well not new, it’s about them).
Depending on how bad the personality disorder is, if they do ask about you, it’s often a loaded question where it will provide them with an opportunity to talk you down. Some are more subtle than others, the really bad ones can just leave you thinking “was that meant to be a dig at me?” Yeah, I’m afraid it was.
The deception officially became unacceptable. You did this. You did.
My mother wasn't a full-fledged narcissist, but certainly had some of the traits. One time she called me (I usually called her), she had little to say, and I wondered why she had called. I asked her a few questions to uncover her motivation for calling. Nothing. Finally I told her I was busy, and ended the call. Later I found out when my sister told called and told me that had called her, and told her she had called me, and I had been very gruff, subjected her to an interrogation, and hung up on her. I realized Mother had called me for me to entertain her, and I was going through one of those blissfully uneventful periods in my life where I hadn't had anything eventful to talk about. I told my sister that Mother had called me, when she had nothing to say, and left me with the responsibility of making all the effort of keeping up the conversation. I was in no mood to ease Mother's boredom, and I politely had ended the call, and had not just hung up. I reminded her of Mother's games of 'divide and conquer' when we were children, and had used it to it to keep us from being close, as she feared we would gang up against her. She agreed it was an attempt to pull that stunt again, and it just brought us closer. That was the end of that episode.
Mine also made me crazy on the phone when others listened in, ( she would not warm me that others listened in) and made me the crazy one. But when SHE was screaming at me, no-one heard that.
I started to record her calls ( there are free apps for that) but, after a while, I just stopped talking to her on the phone.
I experienced the "inability to listen" and they just go rage mode if you try to enforce your point, even if you are right or you are trying to remind them about something they forgot that will save them from trouble.
They are the most disgusting people ever.
My mother. Calls only with a need. If it's about me -forget it. And she lives in my house.
I see my mother once a week and take her shopping and we have lunch together. The remender of the week i phone her. I have health issues and no longer work. My mother never ever asks how i am, how do i feel how am i coping, nothing. I don't talk to her i listen. I listen about all her wowes, her ailments, now someone made her a victim. She never wants to know about me, she is just a complete Debbie downer. I no longer care now she is, ive lost all my guilt, i do what i have to do as a daughter and wish for the day she is no longer her, i know, how awful. But until you've walked in my shoes you will have no idea what its like. I could write a book, but i think that will do for now. Thank you Danish for helping me see through her shit.
That's not at all awful. What's awful is that you think you have to take responsibility for her wellbeing while you received none.
Am super sorry u have this experience w your Mom!!! Danish is Amazing!
Once a fortnight is enough, no ringing in between
Totally my mother too, until I went NC.
Same here. I am so fed up with her dramas and guilttrips I just do the minimum now, talking to the nursing home staff and do her paperwork. I used to call her every day and visited her twice a week but I can't stand being in her presence anymore. Itbis to exhausting. After a 5 min visit I am done for the rest of the day. No more.
The trauma of my feelings being disregarded and emotional abandonment for years , never being heard and always accused of not talking is mind blowing. Why talk to o someone that doesn’t listen!!!
My phone died so late comment. Left out was calling in the middle of the night waking you up so you are disoriented and sleepy and not at 100 percent plus nothing is more fun for a narcissist than depriving you of sleep.
Wow, this video is brilliant. Thank you Danish. I was listening intently. Thinking about people in my life and conversation over the phone.
Hope this video helps a lot of people. ❤❤❤
“Just checking in…” (again…and again and again…)
Danish....thankyou for your content. You have literally described my wife, which I'm currently divorcing. You're videos are helping me identify and heal from YEARS of being subjected to this behaviour...daily...and to a very high level.
I'm struggling to come to terms with what I've realised she is...and feel a fool for the excuses I made and behaviour I let happen to me, but watching videos such as these are educating me...and really helping. So, thankyou.
Yes! I totally get this! My mother!
SPOT ON !!!!! My husband always hang up on me ...when i try to explain...And validates....And he doesnt like it.....And yes....When he hangs up the phone....I apologized 😢😢😢...Damn....This is resonated me....I stopped and i gave him my ultimatum....I stopped chasing him. Yesss...It's scary behavior...
All is well until you share your thoughts 😩 Your own mother taking your savings is heartless 💔
I get anxious when i see them calling. Know i have to be on guard and be very careful what i say. Oh yes when im struggling they do not get in touch. It just annoys them that im suffering. Such an inconvenience.
Or they enjoy your suffering