In the beginning of your relationship, everything feels so grand like your floating on cloud nine. The phone calls are frequent and consistent. The affection and passion is there. The warmth is there to the point you start to fill comfortable, vulnerable and transparent. Then in a blink of an eye your partner switches up on you and starts neglecting you of the basics things you need in a relationship. Your partner starts to do the opposite of what you saw and felt in the beginning. Everything starts to dimish on your partner's end....Affection, Conversation and Intimacy is withheld from you. Then your partner lashes out on you for bringing up your concerns in your relationship, and says you're the one with the problem. Then later on in the relationship you find out that your partner is entertaining other people while the whole time your self esteem becomes affected and you end up developing anxiety because you don't want to cause narcissistic injury. Protect your mind, body and soul. Love yourself❤
Yes to all you said. I once went two weeks without him speaking to me at all. I guess it was beneath him. 🙄 Always punishing me for some perceived slight. Gave me an ok birthday present (household item) but says “last year I didn’t think you deserved anything.” I couldn’t remember what I could have possibly done a whole year ago.
@@texasgma3578my ex did this as well him ghosting me for a week was my punishment until he did it a second time and I never reply or give him a reaction
I am now almost 60 years old. I have lived my life and we have raised four children. I didn't realize I was married to a narcissist I just thought that was a normal relationship because I didn't know anything any different. Looking back I can't count the times I cried myself to sleep and felt unloved and wondered what I did wrong.
I look back at old pictures of me. It makes me cry every time.. I was youthful and beautiful. My body was in great shape. I was drrssing nicely and my hair looked so healthy. I was in my prime. Unfortunately I couldn't see my beauty because my narcissist ex made sure I had no self esteem. I'm now unrecognizable in the mirror. My hair is gray, my face looks aged and tired. The years of abuse are now present in my physical features. I wish I could've seen my beauty but I'll never get that time back. A narcissist will make sure to take everything from you and the longer you are trapped under their control- the more you lose of yourself.. I don't even desire sex anymore. He ruined my perception of the experience. Haven't even been interested in dating. Been single for 4 years. I don't trust anyone anynore.
I can so relate. I've aged 10 years in 2. I was so bubbly happy at my best healthy wait. Now I'm digging out of loss, Wright gain and so much debt! It's horrible and I'm mad at myself for being so blind to it. I look back and now see all the red flags! Love bombed, intense sexual bonding and then it was only when he wanted it and nothing for me, all about him, done and gone, ghosted, trauma bonded, terrified, threaded to kill me if I didn't do what he wanted had to pay all his bills he wouldn't get a job said he was working on websites for internet marketing. Yeah right. Horrible experience so damaging so cruel.
I feel the same way I look at my pictures from 5 yrs ago I was very attractive pretty my narc ex sure knew how to make me feel sexy and beautiful so I thought after being with him for 5 yrs realizing he loved bomb me never loved me use me manipulated me used sex to control me I physically became sick my hair fell out I lost a lot of weight my complexion got dark and he slowly slipped away even after he found out I was severely sick dying from mold exposure he really didn’t care he found him another supply and threw me away like trash I went no contact after he ghosted me it’s been 4 months I started gaining my weight back my hair started growing back even after all of this I don’t ever want to be in another relationship this has taught me to never love a man more than you love yourself 😢
@@juliewest0827ugh the story of my life I almost died behind my ex narc because he was physically making me sick from stress everything you said I went through for 5 yrs from being broke to intense love making and love bombing me it’s been 4 months no contact my hair grew back I gained some weight and I’m saving more money that relationship was so toxic 😢
You do the same thing and I feel better you learn detachment from them be just as cold as them they will get the picture. Just embody and copy their behavior they can also feel what it's like. Laugh and don't take nothing seriously. But you got to be tough. Reverse psychology. They do things on purpose for self gratification .
Sex is irrelevant with the Narc, it is nothing more than a reward for your compliance or a way to bring you closer to them. Sex serves no reward to the Narc because it represents love or affection, which the Narc hates and doesn't want to give to you. What is the point of being with a Narcissist, other than wanting to be miserable for the rest of your life? The Narcissist is just following a script or a movie role like a actor, in everything that they say or do with anyone they are involved with....
Duuuuuuuude I had a boyfriend who would grab my pussy in public places then yell at me when I told him to stop because "I can do whatever I want. You're mine."
I wonder how I went from such an independent and strong willed woman to a victim of his control and mental abuse. I allowed him to treat me in those ways . You are spot on 100% with my situation all five of them. I’m so disappointed and angry at myself in how much time love and effort I wasted on this man to end up broken and hurt as a result of my determination and not to mention what it did to my family also.
I can relate. But you know what? You learned from it and hopefully - and it sounds like it - you’re done with that chapter. Forgive yourself and do better next time. The best thing you can do for yourself and to get show him you have moved on is to no longer care. I recall a friend of mine asking me once what I thought was the opposite of love. Immediately I said “hate” because I hated the man who had hurt me. My friend said no. It’s INDIFFERENCE. Hate means you still have feelings. Indifference means you have none. Get to that point honey, and you will know you’ve won. 😊
After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.
You become emotionally confused. They know how to put out enough sweet to get your guard down and then WHAM!!! Now I know that the sweet is saccharine or Splenda.
The thing that made me feel the most used, discarded after sex was when I wanted my narc husband to hold me, and he always said no because he was too hot. There were never any tender, loving moments leading up to sex either. I was just there to clean, cook, entertain, and fulfill his needs. Nothing was about me. We divorced after 10 years. Thank God. Then he married a narc and she has complete control over him... he has to ask before he does anything and is terrified of her for some reason. Payback.
My Lord. A guy i was dating never hugged me after. He also said it was hot 😂 Actually we had sex 3 times. His eyes were closed. He could not look at me. I was an object. Just a body to him. We also ever kissed. Also he never stayed the night. Just stayed a bit and left. This was most bizzare and humiliating experience.
12:09 Oh my gosh- Yes. We are only there to do the things they hate or think are "mindless, useless things" like clean, cook, laundry. The mf I have been dating for so many years told me one day when I was sobbing uncontrollably because of sheer exhaustion of trying to run a business and keep up a household- " HOUSEWORK IS FOR A WOMAN. IT'S HER JOB." I knew I was doomed if I stayed after that. And to this day, after I have begged him, pleaded with him and even sat down with him to try to explain why I needed help with the chores- he saw me crying to the point I was almost sick. I went into another room to calm down and I physically heard him tip-toe into the kitchen, open the dishwasher, get dishes out, and heat up food. After about 30 minutes, I heard him tip-toe back into the kitchen again and very softly sit the dishes in the sink. I gave him an hour to wash the 4 dishes he used. When I approached him about the dishes, he said: " They need to soak a little while " I fell asleep and when I woke up the next morning, of course- they were all still in the sink dirty. Not even in water, just sitting there. All this happened AFTER he saw me crying for help to the point I was dry-heaving. I pray every night for him to die in his sleep. I will never touch him or show affection to him again as long as I am in the same house- I am saving money and hiding it to have a down payment on a house of my own. I sleep in a separate room because he refuses to wear a CPAP and snores so loud. Of course, after he left the CPAP sitting beside his bed for 10 YEARS without wearing it one single time, I got so angry I threw it away. Don't you know he told the Psychiatrist he wasn't sleeping well because I threw his CPAP away- Narcissists are a DEATH SENTENCE to anyone that has the ability to care for others. Run hard and fast in the opposite direction the moment you have a gut feeling about a narcissist. Your life depends on it.
@@orianam9835 typical autistic behavior- textbook example. they hate human touch, kissing or looking into eyes. Sex is only to release their tension, has nothing to do with emotions they are missing.
This is so true. My Narc would want sex and then start a fight afterwards. Made me feel so disgusting inside. I would be like, we just was intimate with each other and now you're treating me like the dirt underneath your shoes???? This video is spot on. Sex to them is just an act. We are objects to them. No intimacy, no nothing....just sex. Afterwards, go your own way. Made me feel so inadequate and used.😢
@terri7707 you have to go through it Terri to get out of it, one day you'll see them for who they are and you'll wonder why you ever stayed and put up with the BS
After I finally left, my life is so much happier! The difference is amazing! It took a while to adjust, but I was surrounded by people who loved me, and that really helped!
Narcissists suffer from something called NPD, or aka "Narcissistic Personality Disorder " . It can be a hereditary disorder, or something that may develop in childhood from the loss of a parent or from being overly spoiled as a child. Narcissists are very paranoid, and think everyone thinks as they do. The worst thing is they see nothing wrong with themselves or either they are aware of what they do but don't care to do anything about it. Now, if you get fed up and leave them or divorce them, they will either try to get you to change your mind or they will act like they are the victim. A person i know that was in a narcisstic marriage that lasted over a decade, would frequently ask this question to me, " What did i do " ? After reading up on Narcissism, i told them you weren't the problem, they (the Narcissist)were the problem. A Narcissists has to work their problems out on their own, you can't change them no matter what you do. Narcissism is hard to treat with Psycho therapy, and some Narcissists can even manipulate the Mental Health Therapist! So, your best option is to leave the Narcissist, and don't return to them ever...
With my husband, it felt like he was punishing me for asking for affection which he was deprving me of. He wanted to make sure I never asked for it again. That's how it felt
My ex would say that me asking for s*x was r*pe and when we first did he acted nervous and I consoled him telling him it was ok and trying to reassure him, he called me doing that pressuring him into it and was r*pe. I learned to never initiate it fully believing him and hated myself. I wanted it but it was only on his terms and if I said no he'd find a way to punish me usually with threats so I learned that I had to anytime he wanted to no matter what. I still won't initiate it and have that fear. I've been no contact for almost 2 years and we broke up nearly 4 years ago. I've had a few partners and recently I started my first relationship since him. It's not easy. I'm constantly worrying still. I have people in my life that I'm close with other than my boyfriend and they're all very reassuring and are helping me get through it all. It doesn't go away easily but it is getting better. I struggle often with walking on eggshells and being overly self aware but we're working through that. It helps having people who understand.
I'm so relieved to have found your videos I'm married to a man who is classic narcissistic behaviour for 19 years. It has gotten worse and his behaviour is so disrespectful. Yet people adore him and I feel so alone.
Humans like connections with other humans. It is a shame that we can’t seek that connection without the fear of all the nut bars that want to destroy us for their own pleasure.
As sad & true as this Statement is, it's funny. I know exactly what you mean. 😂 hugging a tree! I stopped hugging. If I don't hug, I don't get a hug. 😂
So true! I used to think of the fish analogy myself. Yuck. And when I hugged him he would awkwardly pat me on the back and get away asap. When I would hear his key in the door my heart used to sink. I can't believe I stayed in it for so long.
It's really Spiritual. It's a demonic spirit, think about this, demons can't and aren't capable of showing loving, affectionate emotions, those hideous, evil monsters, can't be loving. The real deal is that the person has been thru some trauma to their Soul, either during their childhood or even their adult life and the enemy attached itself to their soul & shut them down to either being healed to be able to love like Christ. They themselves need help. It's impossible for a person that has been traumatized to love in a healthy way. You can't therapy it, drug it, fuss at it, kick it, love it, reason with it. The person needs to be delivered, set free from that possession. Same lil demons, new times.
Mine started refusing long kisses, cuddles and basically all physical contact outside sex including hand holding and blamed me for wanting those things like there’s something wrong with me!
Wow this is totally my relationship with my boyfriend right now.. He totally changed from doing all that stuff to being cold and showing no affection Towards me now
Hmmm, I thought that was coincidence?? She was waking me at 430 when we had to wake at 5am just to f**k my brains out. I was hoping she would wait till 5am when I'm awake? NOPE. Never know what a narc's agenda is.....
YES!! My ex-narc fiancé would almost always want sex when I was extremely tired or would wake me up in the middle of the night to have it. And he REALLY loved it after we just had a fight and/or I was sad or still angry at him. Just crazy ASF! Good riddance to bad rubbish!
Yep, sleep deprivation is a massive thing with them. They run high on chaotic energy & drain you of spirit. According to them, you dont need basic human functions such as sleep. I left after he sprung up out of bed (from his apparent deep sleep) in the middle of the night, spitefully cursing & saying how much he hates his life with me, (because I had dared go to bed before him). The switch was terrifying & he was looming over me from the doorway. I pretended to stay asleep. Started my plan to leave the next day.
Unfortunately I've endured all of this treatment..im still married,but i am liberated..sex free!!!..thank God!!..i stand my ground..im also old now, wasted all my years with him ..and yes, he is worst than ever! but has no control of my body anymore...🙌 yay!
This is the BEST explanation I have heard!! For 34 years I felt like an object, I felt used, I hated sex because there was never ever any spiritual intimacy!! And this had validated what I always felt! Thank you!! Happily divorced for 2 years now!
They don't like to kiss because kissing is too personal and they don't want anyone in their personal space AND kissing is an action for someone you love. They don't love their partner. They use their partner.
In my case, my ex husband hated my beauty and the attention I get without doing norhing , just being myself. He saw himself as an ugly man and tried to dim my light, confidence, leaving me in the cold, in the dark, betrayed my trust , allowed third party to destroy. The pain reached a point that I decide to take care of my body, dancing, practising sports and began studying about toxic relationship and see I was dealing with a covert narcissistic person. I am trying to heal from traumas. He made difficult to separating because he did not want me to rebuild my love life. However I cut him off and the mask and lies appeared. Good vídeo. It was extremely painful to be with sex life, being a good person. God will bring a healthy love. Thanks for the message.
@77sunflowers it's almost as if they feel compelled to tarnish your name. The disordered person in my life even gossips about me to maintenance men. He doesn't know I have overheard several times. It's truly bizarre. Why get strangers involved? It's very perplexing to me.
1. After we got "married," he stopped holding hands, kissing, hugging, and talking. 2. He does not like "it" with another human. Only he can "satisfy himself" via porn. 3. He NEVER initiated; constantly rejected me. 4. When he experiences a "malfunction," he blames me. 5. He expects me to do what a porn actress does, but I have not viewed porn. Never will. 6. He reserves "it" for anniversaries only, but five anniversaries have gone by with nothing (thankfully). 7. I feel strange "being with" such a sick-minded, disordered person. 8. Imagine how shocked I was when I found out he committed adultery! The cognitive dissonance attacked me on that one. 9. I had to add this to the list. I just remembered that, out of nowhere, he gave me an "electronic device" in the shape of a male's ***** for Christmas! I was mortified! I reacted in a way he didn't like. I threw it in the garbage. Now I realize he probably got it for himself.
Rejection it's a way of punishment they use to control us, take our self confidence and self steam away. Also to create codependency... It's all a mind game.... They know exactly what they are doing, it's not by coincidence...
Absolutely to the point. 40 years of marriage . When I reach a burn out from work, and needed time for myself to recover, I finally stopped the madness, of being a vessel for his needs. he threatened to find another woman. Lots of porn, and wanting me to perform these fantasies. He looked for other women, of course it was my fault , he had to, since I did not satisfy anymore. I left him. He has a new woman now, my life has improved so much. I was a toy.
at first she was a fantasy come true. pleasing her kinks were, but holy crap when it was my time at bat (sorry y'all) no I don't like having this done , my breasts are not sensitive to touch , yada yada yada... year goes by comes over and (Kitty wants) all flirty and wanting told I've got work early So by by. the she broke the lock slamming my door. God help her
You are 100% on the mark, I've been living with my narcissist husband for 33 year's and 8 year's ago he completely cut me off, he no longer wanted to have sexual relations with me, and when I confronted him about it he blamed it on me. 3 year's later I discovered that he was pleasuring himself with porn. That's when I woke up and started educating myself about the narcissist and how they function. I have completely divorced him emotionally 2 year's ago. Unfortunately I am stuck with living with him and he knows it because he's the one that worked it out this way. I love your video and I will share it with my sister in law, she also had a narcissist husband.
7 months living with him as his wife - it’s funny how fast I was discarded. Dated 5 years. Glad it’s over. Took 3 yrs to finalize divorce. Happy & Free since 2017 ❤🎉💃🏽🙏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
😢 he controlled me so robotic he just layed their and I had to pleasure him first and he would just got on top of me and did it, but I am cleaning out my sexy underwear and stockings didn't do anything for him anyway
Thank you for addressing this topic. I have experienced these issues but was too ashamed to reach out for help because I thought there was something wrong with me. It wasn't until many years later when I experienced healthy, intimate, emotional connection with a loving partner that healing happened. I am grateful my partner was patient with me and kind. Now I understand what real love is.❤❤😊
The early days with a narcissist are so perfect, you feel like you've literally met "the one". Then the truth slowly begins to unravel and you realise it was all a facade... no matter how sweetly they'd speak to you, what they would say & do behind your back was a whole other story! It is almost unbelievable that someone could act in such a manipulative and mean way. The accusations then begin once you find out what they were up to... the blame just gets put on you for all the wrong that was done. Well, im glad I have taken back my freedom and recharged my power. I Am That I Am. No apologies! ❤
You will never know, what other people believe about you, because the narcissist has lied to everyone about you from day one. They are doing things to you behind your back, and you will never even suspect it, because it is something you would never do to anyone. And really, everyone believes you are the bad person. They have ruined your name to everyone, so that when you finally figure them out, and you tell others about what they’ve done, it only reinforces the negative things they already believe about you. They will honestly believe that you are the bad person, who is trying to trash talk your fine upstanding ex. When you finally break free, you generally have no one. Just remember, those other people have been blinded in exactly the same way you have been. There eyes will be opened too, in time.
they also stalk, take covert photographs, act like they want you then reject you, insult your body, insult your hygiene - good or bad, insult your physical appearance with or without clothing, they flirt openly with other women or men or both in front of you, they act like thye will be there for you and then reject you, they will boast how they love you and then reject you, thye will tell others how great you are and then reject you over and over and over and over!
I saw this first hand with a friend... When she was finally able to get away from him he tried to use those covert photos as a kind of blackmail. She had no idea he took a lot of those pics. So much of his sickness came out when she left him, it was scary.
I also tried to leave and he stalked me. Would sit in the parking lot where I worked, Would send me love letters. Send me flowers. Call, call, call. promise, plead . Insane. They are dangerous. Seriously mentally ill. All our life he had many, many other women in his life and didn't care that I knew. Lipstick on his collar, earrings in his pocket, motel receipts in his pocket. He enjoyed the pain that he inflicted on me.
My husband told me i do not please him sexually. I do not do what he wants me to do, but when i do it, he turns me down. Nothing fixes it at all. He feeds off my pain and sorrow. He asked what was wrong with me, but that is it. No affection from him. He controls my feelings. I try every solution to keep peace. My life is a living hell. When he is happy, im at peace. When he is mad or just has a bad day, you can feel the bad ass energy. He does silent treatment so much, i just pretend he dont exist until he wants to exist to me, but i long for the companion ship.
Completely valid. There is no connection on any level. The only way my marriage made sense was when I was miserable, he was happy. When I was happy, he was miserable. No win. Now, how to recognize if anyone ever shows me genuine affection?
I always thought my narc sister had a mental problem but when I heard that she slept with her therapists husband, I knew. What you said the other day, Danish, did something wonderful for me. You talked about the empath having feelings of dying early. I'm 72 and since I hit 70 I started thinking about giving away all my belongings because I wasn't going to live very long. Your message shook me out of that brain damage! I'm extremely healthy, haven't been to a medical doctor since 1980, I have a great, happy marriage, and I wasn't focusing on God's blessings of good health and a great life and I was planning my demise. What a waste of the past two years. Thank you, Danish . . . . . . WOW . . . . . thank you.
and what about the opposite? When WE don’t want THEM? All the predictable immature behaviors it’s repulsive throw their mirroring into the mix and it’s full out CRINGEY!
I have been feeling and thinking exactly the same - until that episode woke me up. I still don’t have a newfound vigor for life, but I’m no longer absently thinking how I just don’t care if I die - as long as I don’t suffer…. I just turned 60…
@@mizread I accidentally left off the "s" at the end of therapist. . therapists husband.. . not HER husband. I proof read and realized I spelled it wrong.
1,000% on point. It’s scary how many people can relate to this sad unfortunate situation. I’m finally free from this bondage. He has another victim to toy with. Thank you all for sharing your experiences, I’m not alone.
I too am absolutely confused about how Narcissism can be soooo widespread and rampant, and it taking so long to figure out the abuse. It’s almost like there is a form of narcissism under every roof. Be it Golden child/scapegoat, parent or sibling narcissistic abuse, or a direct relationship with one. It is everywhere.
It's like he has no clue how his many affairs have affected me. I will never forget the first time. My heart was broken into a million pieces. That was 35 years ago. There have been many more since then. There are no words to describe how I feel inside.
Same thing I'm going thru after having our twins. There's was only about 8 mo he was faithful. Love bombing stage. After that the cheating began. Finding out my whole relationship was a lie really hurts. Especially when he was the one to bring up having kids. The first 2 I found out were long term relationships he had all along. But on n off with them. One 3yrs one 15 yrs. But he calls n they always go to him. They knew about me but he lied saying we weren't together. Making him the victim n me bad. When I contacted one told her the truth. She promised to never talk to him again n let me know if he calls. Another one at first fought with me then came to her senses and said ya it's time he grows up. N was willing to tell me anything. But now this is the only one left that has changed her mind since he called her n they hooked up knowing were together. Telling me if he's going to cheat it might as well be her. That he will never disrespect her cuz there real with each other and it's my own fault I'm in this mess. I have choices I cud of made n didn't. There's was problems already B4 n after our kids, when she wasn't in the picture. That he hates me. Which of course that's what he wants her to believe. But he texted her in front letting her know he will not talk to her no more. He loves me is with me and can't keep disrespecting me. So hoping she realizes now like I told her that he doesn't keep it real with her either. She's just another toy no one special. But I have a feeling he knows he can call her n she will still come to him n willing now to help do it behind my back. But no she doesn't care for him she says. Whatever 15yrs of being his yoyo and still there on the side. Whatever. But ya I get the silent treatment every time till I reversed it on him. Now he stopped. But he seems ignorant to the fact of how cheating not only hurts me but our family as a whole from moving forward n building more of our life together.We are at a standstill now.
“…nothing fixes the situation…” Realizing the narcissist has a mask to hide their missing heart, a half-personality, a cardboard cutout soul… and they’ve been cheating behind your back repeatedly… that certainly helps fix the situation, by allowing you to let go and experience the relative relief of emotional freedom from bonds of attachment.
I am so blessed to have found your channel. I had been married 36 years to a narcissist. He did the most sickest habits during sex. I found my way out of the abuse. I am seriously seeking to heal from such abuse. I don't know how or where to start. I'm 69 years old and I really want someone in my life. But, I am afraid that if I am not healed, they might not understand, and I really don't want to go deeply explaining what has happened to me. Thank you for the information that you generously give to your subscribers. You are a God send!😢
Find someone who has been the victim of a narcissist, it may not work out, but they will absolutely know what you have been through, and will help you in unimaginable ways. Just having someone to understand and talk to about the ordeal, will help in healing.
Wow now I understand why he rejected me all the time and then flipped it back on me when I didn't come onto him because I didn't say the right words. The silent treatment and the lectures that would happen when I didn't do or say something right. He controlled it all and made me feel like it was all my fault and I couldn't do anything right. Sex was the #1 thing we fought about. Thank God I am out of there and I am safe.
Exactly what my girlfriend was like! With held sex for months and I thought it was me but now I understand. I was with a broken person way b4 I got with them.
I agree with you! But the worst thing that you can is have a child with such people. You are stuck with them for life. It like a life sentence that you can not get away from. Thank you so much for your Channel.
Not for life. That's not true. You may have to deal with them after you leave the SOB, but only until the child is 18, and you can put up and defend your boundaries when you don't live with them anymore.
I was pregnant three months after the wedding. He asked, who is the father? I couldn't be stuck with him, so I left after two years. His retaliation was taking me to court for custody of his son.
Yes. You helped me realize and have the knowledge that who I am trying to have a close relationship with most recently is very challenging and confusing. I now know that this person is a Narcissist. Now, I finally feel that I am ready to let go and move on.
Demeaning, cruel, controlling, rejecting, demanding, critical, just nasty. My ex wanted sex after hours of abusing me. It turned him on; I wanted to pacify him. Sometimes he hurt me. Sadist. Even when you're sick. Horrible human beings. I am so happy to be free.
@@ABBYBENORMAL Thank you, I could write a book! Except ... so many other good people already have. I left after 46 years. My family connected with him collapsed. My brothers rallied around me, supported me, and basically said, "about time." In the last five years I've regained my health, left my alcohol consumption (anesthesia) far behind, overcome devastating depression (all gone), renovated my house (learned a lot of new skills), and am now a doctoral candidate in American history. I basically exploded like one of those mattresses packed in a box ... These people squeeze you smaller and smaller and smaller, to make themselves bigger and more powerful. I would love to tell everyone in these relationships, and especially after they leave them, to kick it all to the curb and embrace the challenge of reinventing your life the way it was meant to be in the first place.
Yes,my ex husband has a porn addiction that now he's forcing our daughters to participate in because CPS aka CYFD here in Albuquerque NM is justifying everything he does instead of doing their job and prosecuting him for it.
That is awful, I'm sorry. Narcspouse told me about his cheating only after 7 years had passed in our marriage. He also blamed ME for his porn addiction (even though he had NO problem with how intimate I was during our dating stage, let me assure you). I got rid of all DVD porn I owned once our kiddo was born (because ya just don't need that stuff around a kid), and I stopped watching it online at all -- didn't know he wasn't doing the same.
Wow…..this is exactly what I’m dealing with 😮. I knew my spirit was telling me these things but I keep making excuses…trying to understand him. This is 💯 % confirmation. Thank you for sharing 😢 as I shed my last tear…I feel so empowered to do what I need to do FOR ME, MY MIND, BODY & SPIRIT ❤❤❤
You’re beating a dead horse honey…he’s trying to break you… you don’t become a slave just because you get married… you are supposed to become a partner in life…treated with respect….get out before he destroys you…I suggested marriage counseling prior to divorce…he turned it down…he started seeing a therapist after we were divorced… got to a certain point and quit going…I asked him why…she wanted to talk to the other party… he did NOT want that to happen…I went no contact after that…life is good.
It's now explained and now I know it wasn't me at all .My soon to be ex narcissist cut the sex off now I know it was the control .He never really liked to kiss either .This video really helped me understand a lot .
9 years no sex, no holding hands, no kissing, avoiding eye contact. Robotic sex. Asperger Syndrome - autistic otherwise high functioning and MASKING TO PERFECTIONS. Hugging or bringing flowers to impress others. Empty eyes - nothing there.
I am so grateful for my relationship with God's and honoring my intuition. In the beginning I didn't then I began to observe and was led to learn about relationship flaws...Wow thank you Lord for saving me from so much pain.
He wanted sex almost every day (if I wanted or not)and it was very painful for me because he was agressive. He put me in humilated positions. After I fled from him to another state I never wanted to deal with sex anymore. It feels like everything is broken from inside.
Thank you, Danish. Yes, I felt so objectified. It felt like my ex-N's unspoken motto was "slam, bam, get out of my way ma'am. I have things to do and they don't include you."
I just got out of a 20-year relationship with a narcissist that I have three children with. Your videos are like taking therapy for me. They are helping me so much and I'm so grateful for you
I can relate My narcissistic ex gf was so empty and robotic. All the time I thought it was my fault because of my anti-depressant medication .. now i can see it wasn’t my fault at all.. it was her.. she was dead inside .. as soon as she had “ finished” that was it.. she would just get up and carry on with daily life.. no continued intimacy after .. worst sex ever
I was initially hurt when she left but the more I learn, the more I am grateful to know I wasn't crazy. I do still have my confidence but I am more cautious now.
@@MrAbhix7 Thank you. Because I took time to properly go through the stages of grief and healing, I have found someone with a lot of promise...and she was right under my nose.
Twenty years with a narcissist. If your partner shows even one of these signs, run as far and as fast as you can. To stay is to know you are going on the most horrific attack to everything and everyone that no one except victims can ever believe can happen. RUN!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not a victim but I've watched so many videos like this now that I can believe you Just remembered that none of this is your fault, you should be treated better
Oh my . You hit the nail on the head . One day it's head over heels in love and like a flip of the switch your questioning your own worth, and this one I've been trying to break away from with his "constructive criticism" as he say has gone to a mind blowing new level. Yeah sex is nothing more to them than just sex. You just keep your needs and feelings to yourself on the back burner or wherever anywhere but at the kitchen table. Bc right now is not the time. Then the random mumbles of cursing slamming the door and getting in the vehicle sideways thru the yard trying also succeeding at making one feel like it's their fault and can never do anything right. Well now Ive decided to be reflective. And for some reason it's just not accepted . My attitude is uncalled for. Life is too short to allow anyone to make you feel unworthy . Never question your worth and always know you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. I promise you do not need that kind of mental abuse in your life. You need air and oxygen not a narcissistic asshole. Just saying.
I just broke down listening to this. You’ve described my last relationship and I couldn’t have done it better. Not without video. If I had any doubt before, that he is one, this just squashed that. The only thing that didn’t resonate was the kissing. He loved kissing, but he also controlled how I did that too. Quite strictly, I might add. Thank you for sharing this video.
I'm 72 and left my partner in 1990. You have detailed nearly the entire 16 years I was with him. When I left I knew I was emotionally abused. It took a lot of years to understand that all those years of bad sex were, in fact, years of sexual abuse. I have never seen it set out so clearly. But he exhibited every single behaviour you describe. Thankyou
I got out after 10 years…life is good… marriage is a partnership not you turn into a slave…I learned about narcissism after the divorce…he tried to break me… it didn’t work…life is good…actually “normal”….
Very well explained! Thank you very much for this information! In my case, it was the one who didn’t like to kiss, hug, touch, avoiding intimacy, the red flags showed up since the very beginning, but he always knew how to manipulate me. Thank God, I am divorced today, I love my reality, but when I look back, it’s still very painful! I wish strength to all the victims of the narc abuse, to get out as fast as possible of this toxicity. You will see how beautiful life is, the best is yet to come! Send you love!❤️ 😇
I feel validated by all you spoke of because he did it all and I always thought I was the problem. At least now I can start to shake off the shroud of self doubt and shame.
OMG 😢 It's all over like you explained. It's so sad that they have the ability to make you think they want you, but afterwards you feel that you were an object. Every time and there is no possibility to talk about that, because then you are the one who has "strange" needs like cuddling or kissing 😢😢😢 It's so sad and difficult to end that once you are in love with such a person. Thanks for your video ❤
I agree with all of the things you mention and I have experienced it with narcissists. They do fight with you and then want to have sex ( after hurting you) but they also do it the other way around. You have sex, all is good...and then they would start a fight right after having sex. Somehow, fighting and sex became a thing for him. I also recognize the " locking your body" he would grab my wrists and hold then together with one hand, so I couldn't move. If I would try to break free, he wouldn't let me. And if I tried to touch him, he would take my hand and restrain me. Sex with a narcissist is traumatizing.
I went through the same i was about to die due to severity of depression he divorced me all of sudden for no big reason Thank you for nice reply and positive response everyone. 😊
Call that a win, because it's not easy to get rid of them if YOU initiate it, and there is most definitely an expiration date on these relationships. 😮
This explains a lot about my former Husband he didn't make love he had sex. It was always the same, to the point of being robotic. Plus we only kissed a few times but he was such a rubbish kisser that we soon didn't bother. Looking back he had no desire to kiss.When he did kiss it was just bunched up lips and twisting movement on his part. I tried to get better kissing going but it was soon apparent it wasn't his 'thing'. Now I know why.
My EX was amazingly beautiful but hated kissing. I never knew why?? Now I know. She never looked into my eyes because the fear of intimacy scared her. Just like a w**re doesn't get too close to her clients, narcs do the same tactics to keeps their victims from getting too close. It's a manipulation tactic to protect themselves from feeling vulnerable. It's simple math.
Things may be fine early on, but suddenly avoidance is all you get once they have you locked in (married, bought a home, having a baby, etc). Hell on earth. 😢
You nailed! It's repulsive kissing husband. I have never had to pull away or explain how not to smush or gag with his tongue before. Sorry so graphic but it is very true. Even after asking to go slower or more sensual it was worse . It's porn sex. That's what I call it. Like here your money thanks and see ya..ewww
I was with a Narcissist for 12 years tried leaving him and all hell broke loose, I knew what he was and doing, but he was always one step ahead of the game he was playing!! I pray for anyone who has to encounter these scary monsters!!🙏❤️🙏❤️
It's all so true. Hard to admit after being married for 15 years, but I was used the entire time. I knew there was something wrong when my favorite moments with him was when he was asleep. He couldn't say anything hurtful to me, he couldn't reject my hugs and affection when he was asleep. I held onto living a person who wasn't even there. 😔 I will never do this again.
You hit the nail on the head with this one totally. I had never heard anyone explain the no sex part of the process and I have been going through that for months now. Turned down, turned down, rejected over and over again to the point where I have just stopped trying. In the beginning she initiated a lot of the time, now it is once in a blue moon. She will blame it on me and say I have a problem, which is definitely a narcissist trait!! When we actually do have adult time, as soon as we finish she runs to the bathroom and gets in the mirror and brushes her hair and looks at her face and sinks into that. I'm left there like what the hell??
I’ve experienced similar behavior for years. Avoidance, on his terms, no intimacy, no kissing, no empathy, loveless. Only him taking and making sex like porn, dirty talk and very quickly over in seconds.
Yes, you are describing my narcissistic husband! He is moody, angry and has unexplicable anger flare ups!!! I'm always walking on egg shells!! I've been married for 32 years and there have been only a few moments of happiness and that is mostly when he 's not home! He is also emotionally and physically abusive to me. I leave the house as often as possible! It's the only time I find happiness! I'm a happy and friendly person and I'm an RN BSN so, its only natural for me to love and care about others!
You explained my experience completely with my ex husband. Years of that shut your body down. I am so thankful that you shared this information. It helped clarify so much for me.
I feel seen with this video. The only thing the ex didn't do almost ever, was the "make-up $3×." Apparently, my reactions in fights were enough supply for him.
Dump this person, and take care of yourself. there is no cure, they can't change even if they want to. their brains are wired this way, and no therapy or medication has ever helped these evils. accept what they are and move the frig on.
It took me a while to figure out his games because he was SO great in the beginning. Little by little he started exerting control, especially when it came to sex. He was miserable. He made me miserable. I pretty much gave up on sex after him...he took all the wind out of my sails.
Yeah, first time I tried to show a great skill during intimacy. And he said no, don't do that. Not that. And had me in the exact position he wanted/liked. 😮 You are 100percent on point Danish.
Perfectly explained. Sadly I experience all u said daily. It's to the point where I feel nauseous when I'm touched and I get shaky and hypersensitive 😢
Knowing what I know now, I dated a covert narcissist about 25 yrs ago. About 7 months in, she started changing. One night she kept saying that I was gay and wanted me to have a gay sex with a coworker. It was the weirdest thing. I never showed any emotion towards her foolishness and broke up with her a week later. I'll never forget the time I caused her to have a narc injury and then seeing her narc rage. Straight up psycho
Abundance 1mnth ago All you stated I have experienced and I recalled my partner stating that he envied my selfconfidence oh dear I had forgotten to remind myself to love myself . He will never break me thankyou
Break The Trauma Bond Course:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/breaking-the-trauma-bond
They are now using religion to deny someone sex! When they attend no church nor do they honor a God very unhonorable just new narc tactics!!!
You can feel by the kind of energy though. They are a narc. Scary
Thank you for your video
Can someone be a cerebral and somatic narcissist at the same time?
Thanks 😢
People who haven't been with one will never know the pain
100% agree. I hope you're ok.xx
Truth
Yes, true
Facts ….i just got out of a narcissistic lesbian relationship…
THIS! Nothing else needs to be said beyond that....😢
In the beginning of your relationship, everything feels so grand like your floating on cloud nine. The phone calls are frequent and consistent. The affection and passion is there. The warmth is there to the point you start to fill comfortable, vulnerable and transparent. Then in a blink of an eye your partner switches up on you and starts neglecting you of the basics things you need in a relationship. Your partner starts to do the opposite of what you saw and felt in the beginning. Everything starts to dimish on your partner's end....Affection, Conversation and Intimacy is withheld from you. Then your partner lashes out on you for bringing up your concerns in your relationship, and says you're the one with the problem. Then later on in the relationship you find out that your partner is entertaining other people while the whole time your self esteem becomes affected and you end up developing anxiety because you don't want to cause narcissistic injury. Protect your mind, body and soul. Love yourself❤
Yes to all you said. I once went two weeks without him speaking to me at all. I guess it was beneath him. 🙄 Always punishing me for some perceived slight. Gave me an ok birthday present (household item) but says “last year I didn’t think you deserved anything.” I couldn’t remember what I could have possibly done a whole year ago.
100%
That’s it… all that.
@@texasgma3578my ex did this as well him ghosting me for a week was my punishment until he did it a second time and I never reply or give him a reaction
All of that and they have the balls to say “you’ve changed”.
Absolutely no emotion. Robotic sex. The lights are on but no one is at home.
Wow what you said- no one is at home. it’s so shocking.
@@miraclehands9040 I believe that. It’s like they are doing a menial task and daydreaming about being some where else.
They are just following a script, playing out an acting role in sex.
It’s all purely carnal.
And the lights were on, as was the TV he watched while doing so. Me and the History channel. Then when done, he would thank me as if I was a service.
I am now almost 60 years old. I have lived my life and we have raised four children. I didn't realize I was married to a narcissist I just thought that was a normal relationship because I didn't know anything any different. Looking back I can't count the times I cried myself to sleep and felt unloved and wondered what I did wrong.
Me as well he was married twice before me, I walked out on that three time looser and he died.
Sorry to hear ur pain your not the only one 🌹
I believe you will experience a mature love and passion in your life. God bless you
We know now, sister! It's powerful to finally understand.
Sending you hugs and love dear
I look back at old pictures of me. It makes me cry every time.. I was youthful and beautiful. My body was in great shape. I was drrssing nicely and my hair looked so healthy. I was in my prime. Unfortunately I couldn't see my beauty because my narcissist ex made sure I had no self esteem. I'm now unrecognizable in the mirror. My hair is gray, my face looks aged and tired. The years of abuse are now present in my physical features. I wish I could've seen my beauty but I'll never get that time back. A narcissist will make sure to take everything from you and the longer you are trapped under their control- the more you lose of yourself.. I don't even desire sex anymore. He ruined my perception of the experience. Haven't even been interested in dating. Been single for 4 years. I don't trust anyone anynore.
I can so relate. I've aged 10 years in 2. I was so bubbly happy at my best healthy wait. Now I'm digging out of loss, Wright gain and so much debt! It's horrible and I'm mad at myself for being so blind to it. I look back and now see all the red flags! Love bombed, intense sexual bonding and then it was only when he wanted it and nothing for me, all about him, done and gone, ghosted, trauma bonded, terrified, threaded to kill me if I didn't do what he wanted had to pay all his bills he wouldn't get a job said he was working on websites for internet marketing. Yeah right. Horrible experience so damaging so cruel.
Won't look u in the face during sex
Yes...exactly the same with me..everything..for the last 40 years...
I feel the same way I look at my pictures from 5 yrs ago I was very attractive pretty my narc ex sure knew how to make me feel sexy and beautiful so I thought after being with him for 5 yrs realizing he loved bomb me never loved me use me manipulated me used sex to control me I physically became sick my hair fell out I lost a lot of weight my complexion got dark and he slowly slipped away even after he found out I was severely sick dying from mold exposure he really didn’t care he found him another supply and threw me away like trash I went no contact after he ghosted me it’s been 4 months I started gaining my weight back my hair started growing back even after all of this I don’t ever want to be in another relationship this has taught me to never love a man more than you love yourself 😢
@@juliewest0827ugh the story of my life I almost died behind my ex narc because he was physically making me sick from stress everything you said I went through for 5 yrs from being broke to intense love making and love bombing me it’s been 4 months no contact my hair grew back I gained some weight and I’m saving more money that relationship was so toxic 😢
No heart, no soul, no connection. Cold, detached. Most dispiriting, hurtful experience.
Isn't that the truth😢
They want to control every aspect of you as a human being and that's the truth.
Hi god😮
God will get me through it even when I don't believe that at times
You do the same thing and I feel better you learn detachment from them be just as cold as them they will get the picture. Just embody and copy their behavior they can also feel what it's like. Laugh and don't take nothing seriously. But you got to be tough. Reverse psychology. They do things on purpose for self gratification
.
Yes!!!
Narcissists are such broken people who need years of therapy but refuse to get help.
They NEVER change therapy is a WASTE.
Yes, and they look at those they hurt as the problem!
@@GwenArlene8181 they know they are the problem.
And they yell and scream at us if we call them out you need help theysay
@@Sheri-sb1yr💯
It's always sex with a narc, it's never making love..
Exactly!
I craved love from my ex 😢 17 years with demands
God does this hurt
Sex is irrelevant with the Narc, it is nothing more than a reward for your compliance or a way to bring you closer to them. Sex serves no reward to the Narc because it represents love or affection, which the Narc hates and doesn't want to give to you. What is the point of being with a Narcissist, other than wanting to be miserable for the rest of your life? The Narcissist is just following a script or a movie role like a actor, in everything that they say or do with anyone they are involved with....
@vanessalewis758 i really hoped you moved on to someone better, that can truly love you.....
You nailed it. Also they love to grab you in inappropriate places in front of other people making you feel uncomfortable and they think it’s funny.
My narcissistic wife was the opposite, she wouldnt show affection in public.
Duuuuuuuude I had a boyfriend who would grab my pussy in public places then yell at me when I told him to stop because "I can do whatever I want. You're mine."
Mine would always make a point of kissing my neck from behind if I was talking to someone...weird when he wouldn't touch me on our own
@@juliabarnard5638 theyre crazy
Forplay is grabass
I wonder how I went from such an independent and strong willed woman to a victim of his control and mental abuse. I allowed him to treat me in those ways . You are spot on 100% with my situation all five of them. I’m so disappointed and angry at myself in how much time love and effort I wasted on this man to end up broken and hurt as a result of my determination and not to mention what it did to my family also.
What did he do to your family? Did he cheat on you with your family members?
I can relate. But you know what? You learned from it and hopefully - and it sounds like it - you’re done with that chapter. Forgive yourself and do better next time. The best thing you can do for yourself and to get show him you have moved on is to no longer care. I recall a friend of mine asking me once what I thought was the opposite of love. Immediately I said “hate” because I hated the man who had hurt me. My friend said no. It’s INDIFFERENCE. Hate means you still have feelings. Indifference means you have none. Get to that point honey, and you will know you’ve won. 😊
@@melissajohnson1303what kind of question is that?
❤💯🎯🔥
@@chriscooper7642💯🎯🔥
Sex with a narcissist is soulless ….😔
They barely even look at you
You do not understand yourself and your own emotions.
Wham bamb, thank you ma'am. He was fulfilled, I never was. I faked it and he never realised.
@@irenehamilton2981 I know … It’s soulbreaking …
No wonder I felt so dirty, so used! So glad it’s OVER!
After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!
I'm 37 and have been looking for ways to be successful, please how??
She's a licensed broker in the states 🇺🇸
After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.
God is more than enough for us, and his mercy is new every morning
“Confused” is the keyword after dealing with a narcissist🤯😣😖
Exactly
Word. I'm still dumbfounded after 5 months zero contact plus the adorable stalking that hasn't ceased as of yet! 😮
You become emotionally confused. They know how to put out enough sweet to get your guard down and then WHAM!!! Now I know that the sweet is saccharine or Splenda.
The thing that made me feel the most used, discarded after sex was when I wanted my narc husband to hold me, and he always said no because he was too hot. There were never any tender, loving moments leading up to sex either. I was just there to clean, cook, entertain, and fulfill his needs.
Nothing was about me. We divorced after 10 years. Thank God. Then he married a narc and she has complete control over him... he has to ask before he does anything and is terrified of her for some reason. Payback.
My Lord. A guy i was dating never hugged me after. He also said it was hot 😂
Actually we had sex 3 times. His eyes were closed. He could not look at me. I was an object. Just a body to him.
We also ever kissed. Also he never stayed the night. Just stayed a bit and left.
This was most bizzare and humiliating experience.
12:09
Oh my gosh-
Yes.
We are only there to do the things they hate or think are "mindless, useless things" like clean, cook, laundry.
The mf I have been dating for so many years told me one day when I was sobbing uncontrollably because of sheer exhaustion of trying to run a business and keep up a household-
" HOUSEWORK IS FOR A WOMAN.
IT'S HER JOB."
I knew I was doomed if I stayed after that.
And to this day, after I have begged him, pleaded with him and even sat down with him to try to explain why I needed help with the chores- he saw me crying to the point I was almost sick.
I went into another room to calm down and I physically heard him tip-toe into the kitchen, open the dishwasher, get dishes out, and heat up food.
After about 30 minutes, I heard him tip-toe back into the kitchen again and very softly sit the dishes in the sink.
I gave him an hour to wash the 4 dishes he used.
When I approached him about the dishes, he said:
" They need to soak a little while "
I fell asleep and when I woke up the next morning, of course- they were all still in the sink dirty.
Not even in water, just sitting there.
All this happened AFTER he saw me crying for help to the point I was dry-heaving.
I pray every night for him to die in his sleep.
I will never touch him or show affection to him again as long as I am in the same house-
I am saving money and hiding it to have a down payment on a house of my own.
I sleep in a separate room because he refuses to wear a CPAP and snores so loud.
Of course, after he left the CPAP sitting beside his bed for 10 YEARS without wearing it one single time, I got so angry I threw it away.
Don't you know he told the Psychiatrist he wasn't sleeping well because I threw his CPAP away-
Narcissists are a DEATH SENTENCE to anyone that has the ability to care for others.
Run hard and fast in the opposite direction the moment you have a gut feeling about a narcissist.
Your life depends on it.
WOW that sounds familiar!
@@orianam9835 typical autistic behavior- textbook example. they hate human touch, kissing or looking into eyes. Sex is only to release their tension, has nothing to do with emotions they are missing.
@@melissamartin9615 rooting for you girl
This is so true. My Narc would want sex and then start a fight afterwards. Made me feel so disgusting inside. I would be like, we just was intimate with each other and now you're treating me like the dirt underneath your shoes???? This video is spot on. Sex to them is just an act. We are objects to them. No intimacy, no nothing....just sex. Afterwards, go your own way. Made me feel so inadequate and used.😢
Yes, “used” is exactly the right word.
Yeppp .....totally crazy 🤪 people
They're hell on Earth.
I want out of this.
@terri7707 you have to go through it Terri to get out of it, one day you'll see them for who they are and you'll wonder why you ever stayed and put up with the BS
After I finally left, my life is so much happier! The difference is amazing! It took a while to adjust, but I was surrounded by people who loved me, and that really helped!
Yep
Don't give them credit .
They are creepy, act like they are famous, give me a break, all lies,while they are taking you to the cleaners
There’s always something negative with the Narcissist, they need control 😫🙄😩
Narcissists are reincarnated Demons ....in Humans body....
Narcissists suffer from something called NPD, or aka "Narcissistic Personality Disorder " . It can be a hereditary disorder, or something that may develop in childhood from the loss of a parent or from being overly spoiled as a child. Narcissists are very paranoid, and think everyone thinks as they do. The worst thing is they see nothing wrong with themselves or either they are aware of what they do but don't care to do anything about it. Now, if you get fed up and leave them or divorce them, they will either try to get you to change your mind or they will act like they are the victim. A person i know that was in a narcisstic marriage that lasted over a decade, would frequently ask this question to me, " What did i do " ? After reading up on Narcissism, i told them you weren't the problem, they (the Narcissist)were the problem.
A Narcissists has to work their problems out on their own, you can't change them no matter what you do. Narcissism is hard to treat with Psycho therapy, and some Narcissists can even manipulate the Mental Health Therapist! So, your best option is to leave the Narcissist, and don't return to them ever...
Wow
They always want you to be the needy one. Once you stop asking, it is liberating.
they want you to be the needy one but also hate you for being needy!
With my husband, it felt like he was punishing me for asking for affection which he was deprving me of. He wanted to make sure I never asked for it again. That's how it felt
@biriyaniaddictasmr8078. that is exactly how it felt.
@@MsMushu123 it was really exhausting.
My ex would say that me asking for s*x was r*pe and when we first did he acted nervous and I consoled him telling him it was ok and trying to reassure him, he called me doing that pressuring him into it and was r*pe. I learned to never initiate it fully believing him and hated myself. I wanted it but it was only on his terms and if I said no he'd find a way to punish me usually with threats so I learned that I had to anytime he wanted to no matter what. I still won't initiate it and have that fear. I've been no contact for almost 2 years and we broke up nearly 4 years ago. I've had a few partners and recently I started my first relationship since him. It's not easy. I'm constantly worrying still. I have people in my life that I'm close with other than my boyfriend and they're all very reassuring and are helping me get through it all. It doesn't go away easily but it is getting better. I struggle often with walking on eggshells and being overly self aware but we're working through that. It helps having people who understand.
I'm so relieved to have found your videos
I'm married to a man who is classic narcissistic behaviour for 19 years. It has gotten worse and his behaviour is so disrespectful. Yet people adore him and I feel so alone.
And that's why staying alone is the best
You said it
I agree.
I pity the next generation in this world of toxic people.
Humans like connections with other humans. It is a shame that we can’t seek that connection without the fear of all the nut bars that want to destroy us for their own pleasure.
It is better to be alone than be in bad company, your health comes first
facts
It’s like kissing a dead fish!! Hugging him feels like I’m hugging a tree! & freakishly quiet! Not a peep! Not even breathing sound!
Hugging a tree is better even the tree move their leaves.
As sad & true as this Statement is, it's funny. I know exactly what you mean. 😂 hugging a tree! I stopped hugging. If I don't hug, I don't get a hug. 😂
So true! I used to think of the fish analogy myself. Yuck. And when I hugged him he would awkwardly pat me on the back and get away asap. When I would hear his key in the door my heart used to sink. I can't believe I stayed in it for so long.
They're incapable of giving or receiving real human love :(
It's really Spiritual.
It's a demonic spirit, think about this, demons can't and aren't capable of showing loving, affectionate emotions, those hideous, evil monsters, can't be loving. The real deal is that the person has been thru some trauma to their Soul, either during their childhood or even their adult life and the enemy attached itself to their soul & shut them down to either being healed to be able to love like Christ. They themselves need help. It's impossible for a person that has been traumatized to love in a healthy way. You can't therapy it, drug it, fuss at it, kick it, love it, reason with it. The person needs to be delivered, set free from that possession. Same lil demons, new times.
Also ‘bait n switch’ they act different pre commitment . Evil egocentric monsters.
I was crying throughout this video because every point made is 100% correct from my experience.
When you emphasized "they are dead"...i cracked up lol this was spot on.
It's true. They are an empty shell, there is nothing up there.
Mine started refusing long kisses, cuddles and basically all physical contact outside sex including hand holding and blamed me for wanting those things like there’s something wrong with me!
After 6 months this started to happen barely any hugs kisses I have to chase him for it after awhile I just cry
Most are porn addicts and when you have sex with them its like they are having sex with what they watch.
Wow this is totally my relationship with my boyfriend right now.. He totally changed from doing all that stuff to being cold and showing no affection Towards me now
Run, run now!!! 😲
Mine too.
They want sex when we want to sleep! I thank God for every day i am away from the devil itself!
I thank you also Danish for helping me heal ❤❤
Hmmm, I thought that was coincidence?? She was waking me at 430 when we had to wake at 5am just to f**k my brains out. I was hoping she would wait till 5am when I'm awake? NOPE. Never know what a narc's agenda is.....
Exactly!!!
Me too glad to be away from Narc abuse.
YES!! My ex-narc fiancé would almost always want sex when I was extremely tired or would wake me up in the middle of the night to have it. And he REALLY loved it after we just had a fight and/or I was sad or still angry at him. Just crazy ASF! Good riddance to bad rubbish!
Yep, sleep deprivation is a massive thing with them. They run high on chaotic energy & drain you of spirit. According to them, you dont need basic human functions such as sleep. I left after he sprung up out of bed (from his apparent deep sleep) in the middle of the night, spitefully cursing & saying how much he hates his life with me, (because I had dared go to bed before him). The switch was terrifying & he was looming over me from the doorway. I pretended to stay asleep. Started my plan to leave the next day.
Omg 😲 the wanting sex straight after a fight ...they are sick.
Mine used to cause a fight so he could make up by having sex
Very sad, but true! May God help us find true love!
OMG. Yes. I noticed that. Thought that was soooooo weird. Wtf????
Unfortunately I've endured all of this treatment..im still married,but i am liberated..sex free!!!..thank God!!..i stand my ground..im also old now, wasted all my years with him ..and yes, he is worst than ever! but has no control of my body anymore...🙌 yay!
Why don't you divorce, aza?
This is the BEST explanation I have heard!! For 34 years I felt like an object, I felt used, I hated sex because there was never ever any spiritual intimacy!! And this had validated what I always felt! Thank you!! Happily divorced for 2 years now!
They don't like to kiss because kissing is too personal and they don't want anyone in their personal space AND kissing is an action for someone you love. They don't love their partner. They use their partner.
I seriously wondered about this
😢😮 Oh WOW 😳😯. So very true 🥺🥺🥺😮💨😮💨😮💨😞😞😞
@@Yo-yo-dt5ze 🥺🥺🥺 ⁉️ SAD 😿 You sound to be so very sweet 😚. Happy 😁 to see you say the word "EX!" Prosper on dear 🍀🙏♾️
Yessss 100% 😢
in over 50 years of marriage, i never saw my parents kiss.
In my case, my ex husband hated my beauty and the attention I get without doing norhing , just being myself. He saw himself as an ugly man and tried to dim my light, confidence, leaving me in the cold, in the dark, betrayed my trust , allowed third party to destroy. The pain reached a point that I decide to take care of my body, dancing, practising sports and began studying about toxic relationship and see I was dealing with a covert narcissistic person. I am trying to heal from traumas. He made difficult to separating because he did not want me to rebuild my love life. However I cut him off and the mask and lies appeared. Good vídeo. It was extremely painful to be with sex life, being a good person. God will bring a healthy love. Thanks for the message.
They are always in competition with you. They are flippen demented.
They are very jealous people ...
@77sunflowers it's almost as if they feel compelled to tarnish your name. The disordered person in my life even gossips about me to maintenance men. He doesn't know I have overheard several times. It's truly bizarre. Why get strangers involved? It's very perplexing to me.
Thank you for your comment. I'm going through the same thing now. I hope I can see it through.
@@BabyPixyMagic I hope I can see it through , too. It's hard living with these kinds of people.
1. After we got "married," he stopped holding hands, kissing, hugging, and talking.
2. He does not like "it" with another human. Only he can "satisfy himself" via porn.
3. He NEVER initiated; constantly rejected me.
4. When he experiences a "malfunction," he blames me.
5. He expects me to do what a porn actress does, but I have not viewed porn. Never will.
6. He reserves "it" for anniversaries only, but five anniversaries have gone by with nothing (thankfully).
7. I feel strange "being with" such a sick-minded, disordered person.
8. Imagine how shocked I was when I found out he committed adultery! The cognitive dissonance attacked me on that one.
9. I had to add this to the list. I just remembered that, out of nowhere, he gave me an "electronic device" in the shape of a male's ***** for Christmas! I was mortified! I reacted in a way he didn't like. I threw it in the garbage. Now I realize he probably got it for himself.
Rejection it's a way of punishment they use to control us, take our self confidence and self steam away. Also to create codependency... It's all a mind game.... They know exactly what they are doing, it's not by coincidence...
Same 🤷
It's my story😢
You r smarter now. move on.
Get tf out of that relationship
Absolutely to the point. 40 years of marriage . When I reach a burn out from work, and needed time for myself to recover, I finally stopped the madness, of being a vessel for his needs. he threatened to find another woman. Lots of porn, and wanting me to perform these fantasies. He looked for other women, of course it was my fault , he had to, since I did not satisfy anymore. I left him. He has a new woman now, my life has improved so much. I was a toy.
I know what you’re saying!
I was a recepticle, too, nothing more than a vessel. They are not human.
That other woman took over your role, good riddance.
I feel you: ❤ - been there, too.
at first she was a fantasy come true. pleasing her kinks were, but holy crap when it was my time at bat (sorry y'all) no I don't like having this done , my breasts are not sensitive to touch , yada yada yada...
year goes by comes over and (Kitty wants) all flirty and wanting told I've got work early So by by. the she broke the lock slamming my door. God help her
You are a blessing to all humanity. I am so grateful you were born.
You are 100% on the mark, I've been living with my narcissist husband for 33 year's and 8 year's ago he completely cut me off, he no longer wanted to have sexual relations with me, and when I confronted him about it he blamed it on me. 3 year's later I discovered that he was pleasuring himself with porn. That's when I woke up and started educating myself about the narcissist and how they function.
I have completely divorced him emotionally 2 year's ago. Unfortunately I am stuck with living with him and he knows it because he's the one that worked it out this way.
I love your video and I will share it with my sister in law, she also had a narcissist husband.
Robotic and empty and shallow! With my x-narc of 4.5 months! So grateful and thankful we're over!🙏❤️🙏💜
Me too lol I feel like I escaped with my life hopefully my sanity. I did 3 months
Exactly
4 months here too...totally no contact!!!! I love it!!!
7 months living with him as his wife - it’s funny how fast I was discarded. Dated 5 years. Glad it’s over. Took 3 yrs to finalize divorce. Happy & Free since 2017 ❤🎉💃🏽🙏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
😢 he controlled me so robotic he just layed their and I had to pleasure him first and he would just got on top of me and did it, but I am cleaning out my sexy underwear and stockings didn't do anything for him anyway
Thank you for addressing this topic. I have experienced these issues but was too ashamed to reach out for help because I thought there was something wrong with me.
It wasn't until many years later when I experienced healthy, intimate, emotional connection with a loving partner that healing happened. I am grateful my partner was patient with me and kind. Now I understand what real love is.❤❤😊
I’m so glad you found true love ❤️
@hettykoster9447 thank you! I want to encourage people that it is possible to heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse.
@@marcimccann1109 Thank you for encouraging me and other people ! We need it 😊
@@marcimccann1109 Thank you for encouraging me and other people 😊 We need it …
That's awesome!
The early days with a narcissist are so perfect, you feel like you've literally met "the one". Then the truth slowly begins to unravel and you realise it was all a facade... no matter how sweetly they'd speak to you, what they would say & do behind your back was a whole other story! It is almost unbelievable that someone could act in such a manipulative and mean way. The accusations then begin once you find out what they were up to... the blame just gets put on you for all the wrong that was done. Well, im glad I have taken back my freedom and recharged my power. I Am That I Am. No apologies! ❤
💯
You will never know, what other people believe about you, because the narcissist has lied to everyone about you from day one. They are doing things to you behind your back, and you will never even suspect it, because it is something you would never do to anyone. And really, everyone believes you are the bad person. They have ruined your name to everyone, so that when you finally figure them out, and you tell others about what they’ve done, it only reinforces the negative things they already believe about you. They will honestly believe that you are the bad person, who is trying to trash talk your fine upstanding ex. When you finally break free, you generally have no one. Just remember, those other people have been blinded in exactly the same way you have been. There eyes will be opened too, in time.
I meant their, but it won’t allow me to edit
good for you!!!
I thought he was dream come true, like I couldn't believe how his ex could even let go of him. I thought it was her loss. So dumb I was.
they also stalk, take covert photographs, act like they want you then reject you, insult your body, insult your hygiene - good or bad, insult your physical appearance with or without clothing, they flirt openly with other women or men or both in front of you, they act like thye will be there for you and then reject you, they will boast how they love you and then reject you, thye will tell others how great you are and then reject you over and over and over and over!
I saw this first hand with a friend... When she was finally able to get away from him he tried to use those covert photos as a kind of blackmail. She had no idea he took a lot of those pics. So much of his sickness came out when she left him, it was scary.
100% true . they are same as you said
I also tried to leave and he stalked me. Would sit in the parking lot where I worked, Would send me love letters. Send me flowers. Call, call, call. promise, plead . Insane. They are dangerous. Seriously mentally ill. All our life he had many, many other women in his life and didn't care that I knew. Lipstick on his collar, earrings in his pocket, motel receipts in his pocket. He enjoyed the pain that he inflicted on me.
My husband told me i do not please him sexually. I do not do what he wants me to do, but when i do it, he turns me down. Nothing fixes it at all. He feeds off my pain and sorrow. He asked what was wrong with me, but that is it. No affection from him. He controls my feelings. I try every solution to keep peace. My life is a living hell. When he is happy, im at peace. When he is mad or just has a bad day, you can feel the bad ass energy. He does silent treatment so much, i just pretend he dont exist until he wants to exist to me, but i long for the companion ship.
Completely valid. There is no connection on any level. The only way my marriage made sense was when I was miserable, he was happy. When I was happy, he was miserable. No win. Now, how to recognize if anyone ever shows me genuine affection?
I always thought my narc sister had a mental problem but when I heard that she slept with her therapists husband, I knew.
What you said the other day, Danish, did something wonderful for me. You talked about the empath having feelings of dying early.
I'm 72 and since I hit 70 I started thinking about giving away all my belongings because I wasn't going to live very long. Your message
shook me out of that brain damage! I'm extremely healthy, haven't been to a medical doctor since 1980, I have a great, happy marriage,
and I wasn't focusing on God's blessings of good health and a great life and I was planning my demise. What a waste of the past two
years. Thank you, Danish . . . . . . WOW . . . . . thank you.
Have I missed something here? You knew your sister had mental health issues, when you heard that she'd slept with her therapist husband??
and what about the opposite?
When WE don’t want THEM?
All the predictable immature behaviors it’s repulsive throw their mirroring into the mix and it’s full out CRINGEY!
what video was this about the empath having feelings of dying early?
I have been feeling and thinking exactly the same - until that episode woke me up. I still don’t have a newfound vigor for life, but I’m no longer absently thinking how I just don’t care if I die - as long as I don’t suffer…. I just turned 60…
@@mizread I accidentally left off the "s" at the end of therapist. . therapists husband.. . not HER husband. I proof read and realized I
spelled it wrong.
1,000% on point. It’s scary how many people can relate to this sad unfortunate situation. I’m finally free from this bondage. He has another victim to toy with. Thank you all for sharing your experiences, I’m not alone.
Yes it is so many of us , I'm so scared now, never knew any of this stuff existed
I too am absolutely confused about how Narcissism can be soooo widespread and rampant, and it taking so long to figure out the abuse. It’s almost like there is a form of narcissism under every roof. Be it Golden child/scapegoat, parent or sibling narcissistic abuse, or a direct relationship with one. It is everywhere.
It's like he has no clue how his many affairs have affected me. I will never forget the first time. My heart was broken into a million pieces. That was 35 years ago. There have been many more since then. There are no words to describe how I feel inside.
He knows girl....he knows.
Why do u stay? 😬
Same thing I'm going thru after having our twins. There's was only about 8 mo he was faithful. Love bombing stage. After that the cheating began. Finding out my whole relationship was a lie really hurts. Especially when he was the one to bring up having kids. The first 2 I found out were long term relationships he had all along. But on n off with them. One 3yrs one 15 yrs. But he calls n they always go to him. They knew about me but he lied saying we weren't together. Making him the victim n me bad. When I contacted one told her the truth. She promised to never talk to him again n let me know if he calls. Another one at first fought with me then came to her senses and said ya it's time he grows up. N was willing to tell me anything. But now this is the only one left that has changed her mind since he called her n they hooked up knowing were together. Telling me if he's going to cheat it might as well be her. That he will never disrespect her cuz there real with each other and it's my own fault I'm in this mess. I have choices I cud of made n didn't. There's was problems already B4 n after our kids, when she wasn't in the picture. That he hates me. Which of course that's what he wants her to believe. But he texted her in front letting her know he will not talk to her no more. He loves me is with me and can't keep disrespecting me. So hoping she realizes now like I told her that he doesn't keep it real with her either. She's just another toy no one special. But I have a feeling he knows he can call her n she will still come to him n willing now to help do it behind my back. But no she doesn't care for him she says. Whatever 15yrs of being his yoyo and still there on the side. Whatever. But ya I get the silent treatment every time till I reversed it on him. Now he stopped. But he seems ignorant to the fact of how cheating not only hurts me but our family as a whole from moving forward n building more of our life together.We are at a standstill now.
So many affairs. Sad but true
“…nothing fixes the situation…”
Realizing the narcissist has a mask to hide their missing heart, a half-personality, a cardboard cutout soul… and they’ve been cheating behind your back repeatedly… that certainly helps fix the situation, by allowing you to let go and experience the relative relief of emotional freedom from bonds of attachment.
I am so blessed to have found your channel. I had been married 36 years to a narcissist. He did the most sickest habits during sex. I found my way out of the abuse. I am seriously seeking to heal from such abuse. I don't know how or where to start. I'm 69 years old and I really want someone in my life. But, I am afraid that if I am not healed, they might not understand, and I really don't want to go deeply explaining what has happened to me.
Thank you for the information that you generously give to your subscribers.
You are a God send!😢
Be happy living by yourself.. it’s a crazy world out there .
❤❤❤❤
Find someone who has been the victim of a narcissist, it may not work out, but they will absolutely know what you have been through, and will help you in unimaginable ways. Just having someone to understand and talk to about the ordeal, will help in healing.
You need God in your life ma, in him you fine love, peace and happiness seek God to complete you it's well
Go to church. There are good men there. Some are lonesome for female company. Just to talk and dinner. Bowling and ballgames,movies and fun.
Wow now I understand why he rejected me all the time and then flipped it back on me when I didn't come onto him because I didn't say the right words. The silent treatment and the lectures that would happen when I didn't do or say something right. He controlled it all and made me feel like it was all my fault and I couldn't do anything right. Sex was the #1 thing we fought about. Thank God I am out of there and I am safe.
Same here. He's a predator and very perverted
Exactly what my girlfriend was like! With held sex for months and I thought it was me but now I understand. I was with a broken person way b4 I got with them.
I agree with you! But the worst thing that you can is have a child with such people. You are stuck with them for life. It like a life sentence that you can not get away from. Thank you so much for your Channel.
Not for life. That's not true. You may have to deal with them after you leave the SOB, but only until the child is 18, and you can put up and defend your boundaries when you don't live with them anymore.
Yup. Then they control, manipulate and abuse you and your children for 18 years. I'm living it..
I was pregnant three months after the wedding. He asked, who is the father? I couldn't be stuck with him, so I left after two years. His retaliation was taking me to court for custody of his son.
Now my children nd grandkids suffer. 🙏🏾
@@ladyvirtue650😢
It has been 17years in the hands of a narcissist 😢😢😢may God make a way 😢
Yes. You helped me realize and have the knowledge that who I am trying to have a close relationship with most recently is very challenging and confusing. I now know that this person is a Narcissist. Now, I finally feel that I am ready to let go and move on.
Demeaning, cruel, controlling, rejecting, demanding, critical, just nasty.
My ex wanted sex after hours of abusing me. It turned him on; I wanted to pacify him. Sometimes he hurt me. Sadist.
Even when you're sick. Horrible human beings. I am so happy to be free.
I’m so sorry for all you went through & I am soo happy you are free!!
@@ABBYBENORMAL Thank you, I could write a book! Except ... so many other good people already have.
I left after 46 years. My family connected with him collapsed. My brothers rallied around me, supported me, and basically said, "about time." In the last five years I've regained my health, left my alcohol consumption (anesthesia) far behind, overcome devastating depression (all gone), renovated my house (learned a lot of new skills), and am now a doctoral candidate in American history. I basically exploded like one of those mattresses packed in a box ... These people squeeze you smaller and smaller and smaller, to make themselves bigger and more powerful. I would love to tell everyone in these relationships, and especially after they leave them, to kick it all to the curb and embrace the challenge of reinventing your life the way it was meant to be in the first place.
Same i suffered . but thank God for separated me from him
Ah yes. My ex-husband and his porn addiction and then, the cheating. I was too thin. I was too fat. I was too everything. He was never happy.
Yes,my ex husband has a porn addiction that now he's forcing our daughters to participate in because CPS aka CYFD here in Albuquerque NM is justifying everything he does instead of doing their job and prosecuting him for it.
@@MonicaGriego22 that's awful. I'm sorry.
That is awful, I'm sorry. Narcspouse told me about his cheating only after 7 years had passed in our marriage. He also blamed ME for his porn addiction (even though he had NO problem with how intimate I was during our dating stage, let me assure you). I got rid of all DVD porn I owned once our kiddo was born (because ya just don't need that stuff around a kid), and I stopped watching it online at all -- didn't know he wasn't doing the same.
@@MonicaGriego22I am sorry AND ENRAGED for you 😤🤬
@@b8akaratn Thank you 🙏😭👋 I had to rebuild my life. Thank God there's single men who love kids.
Wow…..this is exactly what I’m dealing with 😮. I knew my spirit was telling me these things but I keep making excuses…trying to understand him. This is 💯 % confirmation. Thank you for sharing 😢 as I shed my last tear…I feel so empowered to do what I need to do FOR ME, MY MIND, BODY & SPIRIT ❤❤❤
I wish you strength❤. You got this sis!
Praying for you😊
You’re beating a dead horse honey…he’s trying to break you… you don’t become a slave just because you get married… you are supposed to become a partner in life…treated with respect….get out before he destroys you…I suggested marriage counseling prior to divorce…he turned it down…he started seeing a therapist after we were divorced… got to a certain point and quit going…I asked him why…she wanted to talk to the other party… he did NOT want that to happen…I went no contact after that…life is good.
Follow your spirit 💯 %. It’s there to guide you.
Do what you know what needs to be done or you will be broken…
It's now explained and now I know it wasn't me at all .My soon to be ex narcissist cut the sex off now I know it was the control .He never really liked to kiss either .This video really helped me understand a lot .
It's like kissing a corpse or something isn't it 🥱. I had to basically scream at him to eat my .... But he never had to ask me to do it to him 🙄
9 years no sex, no holding hands, no kissing, avoiding eye contact. Robotic sex. Asperger Syndrome - autistic otherwise high functioning and MASKING TO PERFECTIONS. Hugging or bringing flowers to impress others. Empty eyes - nothing there.
You just answered so many questions it blows my mind.Thank you for educating me on this subject. Everything is so much clearer. I've lost EVERYTHING!
I am so grateful for my relationship with God's and honoring my intuition. In the beginning I didn't then I began to observe and was led to learn about relationship flaws...Wow thank you Lord for saving me from so much pain.
He wanted sex almost every day (if I wanted or not)and it was very painful for me because he was agressive. He put me in humilated positions.
After I fled from him to another state I never wanted to deal with sex anymore. It feels like everything is broken from inside.
That’s marriage you shouldn’t of got married
@ifyagotajaburadumsheep1752 don't be so ridiculous- what a stupid thing to write.
@@ifyagotajaburadumsheep1752what the f(((
I understand the humiliating positions. You feel so out of control and completely vulnerable. It's horrible. I'm sorry that happened to you.
@@lindsayweller3627 Thank you for understanding. That means a lot to me.
Thank you, Danish. Yes, I felt so objectified.
It felt like my ex-N's unspoken motto was "slam, bam, get out of my way ma'am.
I have things to do and they don't include you."
At least mine made me orgasm because i told him I would never have sex with him again but he said he would never kiss me so I found a new boyfriend.
Wham, bam thank you ma'am. Except no thank you.... they just leave.
perfectly said
YEEEEEES!!
He was like this..
I just got out of a 20-year relationship with a narcissist that I have three children with. Your videos are like taking therapy for me. They are helping me so much and I'm so grateful for you
I can relate
My narcissistic ex gf was so empty and robotic. All the time I thought it was my fault because of my anti-depressant medication .. now i can see it wasn’t my fault at all.. it was her.. she was dead inside .. as soon as she had “ finished” that was it.. she would just get up and carry on with daily life.. no continued intimacy after .. worst sex ever
I was initially hurt when she left but the more I learn, the more I am grateful to know I wasn't crazy. I do still have my confidence but I am more cautious now.
You will get someone far better bro you deserve better
@@MrAbhix7 Thank you. Because I took time to properly go through the stages of grief and healing, I have found someone with a lot of promise...and she was right under my nose.
Twenty years with a narcissist. If your partner shows even one of these signs, run as far and as fast as you can. To stay is to know you are going on the most horrific attack to everything and everyone that no one except victims can ever believe can happen. RUN!!!!!!!!!!!
Fact's 💯🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾, run like Forest Gump 🏃⛹️⛹️. Protect yourself at all cost.
I'm not a victim but I've watched so many videos like this now that I can believe you
Just remembered that none of this is your fault, you should be treated better
So true...they are heartless..
Soulless too
They a waste of time!!!!!
Oh my . You hit the nail on the head . One day it's head over heels in love and like a flip of the switch your questioning your own worth, and this one I've been trying to break away from with his "constructive criticism" as he say has gone to a mind blowing new level. Yeah sex is nothing more to them than just sex. You just keep your needs and feelings to yourself on the back burner or wherever anywhere but at the kitchen table. Bc right now is not the time. Then the random mumbles of cursing slamming the door and getting in the vehicle sideways thru the yard trying also succeeding at making one feel like it's their fault and can never do anything right.
Well now Ive decided to be reflective. And for some reason it's just not accepted . My attitude is uncalled for. Life is too short to allow anyone to make you feel unworthy . Never question your worth and always know you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. I promise you do not need that kind of mental abuse in your life. You need air and oxygen not a narcissistic asshole. Just saying.
I just broke down listening to this. You’ve described my last relationship and I couldn’t have done it better. Not without video. If I had any doubt before, that he is one, this just squashed that. The only thing that didn’t resonate was the kissing. He loved kissing, but he also controlled how I did that too. Quite strictly, I might add. Thank you for sharing this video.
I'm 72 and left my partner in 1990. You have detailed nearly the entire 16 years I was with him. When I left I knew I was emotionally abused. It took a lot of years to understand that all those years of bad sex were, in fact, years of sexual abuse. I have never seen it set out so clearly. But he exhibited every single behaviour you describe. Thankyou
🥰
I got out after 10 years…life is good… marriage is a partnership not you turn into a slave…I learned about narcissism after the divorce…he tried to break me… it didn’t work…life is good…actually “normal”….
My therapist thought he was on Autism spectrum. Can it be both that and narcissism I wonder? Painful life.
I'm 71 and I am happy that will never have to take off my clothes in front of a man ever again.
Very well explained! Thank you very much for this information! In my case, it was the one who didn’t like to kiss, hug, touch, avoiding intimacy, the red flags showed up since the very beginning, but he always knew how to manipulate me. Thank God, I am divorced today, I love my reality, but when I look back, it’s still very painful! I wish strength to all the victims of the narc abuse, to get out as fast as possible of this toxicity. You will see how beautiful life is, the best is yet to come! Send you love!❤️ 😇
I'm glad I'm in a wonderful relationship with a healthy man of four years now.Informative channel.
Good for you. I love it when people are good to each other.
I feel validated by all you spoke of because he did it all and I always thought I was the problem. At least now I can start to shake off the shroud of self doubt and shame.
OMG 😢 It's all over like you explained. It's so sad that they have the ability to make you think they want you, but afterwards you feel that you were an object. Every time and there is no possibility to talk about that, because then you are the one who has "strange" needs like cuddling or kissing 😢😢😢
It's so sad and difficult to end that once you are in love with such a person.
Thanks for your video ❤
Oh my God 😢
This is his perfect description 💯
This is 100% my husband. Even holding me down and forcing my legs open. It's like you're talking about him in such great detail.
The knee press in the thigh, so you’ll gap your legs. Was my ex’s signature move
I always said I felt like a whore ..
So sad
*my husband…
…not an ex husband ?
@@anneofgreengables1619 OMG yes, like a love doll.
I agree with all of the things you mention and I have experienced it with narcissists.
They do fight with you and then want to have sex ( after hurting you) but they also do it the other way around. You have sex, all is good...and then they would start a fight right after having sex.
Somehow, fighting and sex became a thing for him.
I also recognize the " locking your body" he would grab my wrists and hold then together with one hand, so I couldn't move.
If I would try to break free, he wouldn't let me. And if I tried to touch him, he would take my hand and restrain me.
Sex with a narcissist is traumatizing.
I started watching your videos today and all of them is like you are talking to my personal experience direct
Chilling… and spot on.. it’s so sad they csn make you feel what you think is intimacy and they don’t even see you.
I went through the same i was about to die due to severity of depression he divorced me all of sudden for no big reason
Thank you for nice reply and positive response everyone. 😊
Probably because he knew he had used you up. They are like vampires.
Call that a win, because it's not easy to get rid of them if YOU initiate it, and there is most definitely an expiration date on these relationships. 😮
Consider yourself lucky to be free, and start reinventing yourself as if he never existed. He doesn't get to define you.
Same to me ..
This explains a lot about my former Husband he didn't make love he had sex. It was always the same, to the point of being robotic. Plus we only kissed a few times but he was such a rubbish kisser that we soon didn't bother. Looking back he had no desire to kiss.When he did kiss it was just bunched up lips and twisting movement on his part. I tried to get better kissing going but it was soon apparent it wasn't his 'thing'. Now I know why.
My EX was amazingly beautiful but hated kissing. I never knew why?? Now I know. She never looked into my eyes because the fear of intimacy scared her. Just like a w**re doesn't get too close to her clients, narcs do the same tactics to keeps their victims from getting too close. It's a manipulation tactic to protect themselves from feeling vulnerable. It's simple math.
Things may be fine early on, but suddenly avoidance is all you get once they have you locked in (married, bought a home, having a baby, etc). Hell on earth. 😢
You nailed! It's repulsive kissing husband. I have never had to pull away or explain how not to smush or gag with his tongue before. Sorry so graphic but it is very true. Even after asking to go slower or more sensual it was worse . It's porn sex. That's what I call it. Like here your money thanks and see ya..ewww
same , they are crap kissers !
Don't forget the stinking breath that a lot of them have, even though they brush their teeth regularly.
I was with a narcissistic boyfriend for 10 years. All of this is true. Never again will I deal with again. Thank you for sharing this.
I was with a Narcissist for 12 years tried leaving him and all hell broke loose, I knew what he was and doing, but he was always one step ahead of the game he was playing!! I pray for anyone who has to encounter these scary monsters!!🙏❤️🙏❤️
It's all so true. Hard to admit after being married for 15 years, but I was used the entire time. I knew there was something wrong when my favorite moments with him was when he was asleep. He couldn't say anything hurtful to me, he couldn't reject my hugs and affection when he was asleep. I held onto living a person who wasn't even there. 😔 I will never do this again.
You hit the nail on the head with this one totally. I had never heard anyone explain the no sex part of the process and I have been going through that for months now. Turned down, turned down, rejected over and over again to the point where I have just stopped trying. In the beginning she initiated a lot of the time, now it is once in a blue moon. She will blame it on me and say I have a problem, which is definitely a narcissist trait!! When we actually do have adult time, as soon as we finish she runs to the bathroom and gets in the mirror and brushes her hair and looks at her face and sinks into that. I'm left there like what the hell??
American psycho much?
I’ve experienced similar behavior for years. Avoidance, on his terms, no intimacy, no kissing, no empathy, loveless. Only him taking and making sex like porn, dirty talk and very quickly over in seconds.
That's how my ex was.
Almost sound like a DL guy
@@e.watson6346i think many are
Yes, you are describing my narcissistic husband! He is moody, angry and has unexplicable anger flare ups!!! I'm always walking on egg shells!! I've been married for 32 years and there have been only a few moments of happiness and that is mostly when he 's not home! He is also emotionally and physically abusive to me. I leave the house as often as possible! It's the only time I find happiness! I'm a happy and friendly person and I'm an RN BSN so, its only natural for me to love and care about others!
Unbelievably accurate summary of my last 3 months. Wow.
You explained my experience completely with my ex husband. Years of that shut your body down.
I am so thankful that you shared this information. It helped clarify so much for me.
each and every word and statement of your videos is 100% correct
I feel seen with this video. The only thing the ex didn't do almost ever, was the "make-up $3×." Apparently, my reactions in fights were enough supply for him.
Wow, first time I heard my experience described so well. I was with the man for 7 years, 40-years ago and I still have episodes of trauma.
Thank you.
Yes. I am newly married, and this is what I have faced thus far. I am so stressed out, anxious, sad and angerly all the time now
Dump this person, and take care of yourself. there is no cure, they can't change even if they want to. their brains are wired this way, and no therapy or medication has ever helped these evils. accept what they are and move the frig on.
Great discussion- I 100 percent agree with you. I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and specialize in personality disorders. Love your work😍
It took me a while to figure out his games because he was SO great in the beginning. Little by little he started exerting control, especially when it came to sex. He was miserable. He made me miserable. I pretty much gave up on sex after him...he took all the wind out of my sails.
Oh my goodness! You did it again! Hit the nail on the head!!!!!!
Just awesome video sir ...its so true
Yeah, first time I tried to show a great skill during intimacy. And he said no, don't do that. Not that. And had me in the exact position he wanted/liked. 😮 You are 100percent on point Danish.
Perfectly explained. Sadly I experience all u said daily. It's to the point where I feel nauseous when I'm touched and I get shaky and hypersensitive 😢
Thank you for validating this.
Knowing what I know now, I dated a covert narcissist about 25 yrs ago. About 7 months in, she started changing. One night she kept saying that I was gay and wanted me to have a gay sex with a coworker. It was the weirdest thing. I never showed any emotion towards her foolishness and broke up with her a week later. I'll never forget the time I caused her to have a narc injury and then seeing her narc rage. Straight up psycho
OMG! How true! Your post brought in so much clarity about the life lived!
Abundance 1mnth ago
All you stated I have experienced and I recalled my partner stating that he envied my selfconfidence oh dear I had forgotten to remind myself to love myself . He will never break me thankyou