Ugh I have a separate set of clothes for around the house because I have 7 horses and a little farm, do all the gardening, housework and yard work myself and don't want to ruin my 'out in public 'clothes. (Which are nothing special) But my typical 'at home' clothes are just former 'out in public' clothes that have been downgraded and destined to get dirty, develop holes and have paint and stains on them now. 🥴
I'm an artist and I suppose I've never thought about the way I dress but I suppose it's a little unique, I'm probably a little bit eccentric. I adore bright flowing clothes, and float about the place like a blob of colour. I have a lot of clothing, some was my grandmothers. I do have a lot of expensive clothes because I spent 2 years on live t.v. so I needed something different for each performance. If I'm going out for dinner I will wear a piece of my * t.v. wardrobe * I'm not sure if I'm a narcissist but I do love clothing, I think the clothing I wear has no age and most women would wear it. It's lovely to get dressed up for an occasion, but dressing for the occasion is very important I saw in the comments one woman's partner would wear a 3 piece suit to a BBQ. What! That would have been very embarrassing.
My boyfriend likes silk and I wear it and don’t buy the brands he likes! He has his own and I’m not a follower but as someone whom cares for him of course I will wear outfits he likes and we care about our partners wishes and this is a very grey area and I see what your saying. It’s difficult to see but do they mirror you all the way!!!! Becareful judging another
When I had my senior photos taken, my mom scolded me for not wearing makeup and said she can see my acne. She was so annoyed with me. I saw the pictures and was excited and so happy to finally get them and she just ripped me apart. I remember 20 years later. Looking back, I still feel I looked great in my photos and am proud I am not vein.
@@heneverforesakesme4038 thank you for your concern but I don't need help nor am I a troll. I disagree with her, this is supposed to be a forum where people can communicate their opinions back and forth, not pat people on the top of their heads and praise as if they are puppies. She has her youth and could probably be a very pretty girl, she should be encouraged to take advantage of that. Youth does not last forever. Why don't we start handing out participation trophies while we're at it LOL ? You sound like the type of person that thinks it's acceptable for obese women to wear bikinis and pose for swimsuit calendars
They also are obsessed with designer labels all over their homes. My NARC friend will notice things in my house always scanning for those special labels. When she sees one, she’ll stare at it, but will never say a thing. When she sees me grab coffee I enjoy off the shelf at the grocery store she’s twitching nervously like it’s some competition. Its the weirdest thing. She once called people peasants who she decided were not in her socioeconomic “class”. We are no longer friends. Such a relief.
My no longer friend was like that too except the designer things. She was a better parent, had nicer things and did everything better than everyone else.
My nephew is like that...he lives in his car..well he did. He now lost his licence so he might live under a bridge. He is famous though. Don shiply, phony navy seal page
My experience is the same! I think narcissists scan your belongings so that they can figure out a cunning way for you to feel sorry for them & give them your things- they will not stop UNTIL you stop them! Narcissists are entitled jerks and want everything you own!
This was incredibly insightful to me. Thank you. My mother traveled the world and would buy clothes from those countries and wear them out but like she was dressing up for the theatre. She wore huge pieces of Native American jewelry that she knew people would be drawn to and comment on. The ethnic clothing and the jewelry demanded attention and curiosity from others. She never allowed me, her daughter, to get the attention. She always made sure she was the center of attention.
My narcissistic husband always wears too tight shirts. His beer gut has grown exponentially over the years, but he refuses to move into larger size shirts. He also complains about how fat other people are, but says he's not that fat. He's completely in denial. 😢
Funny, I knew a narcissistic woman who always wore heavy coats- even during hot weather. She was extremely self conscious about her weight and how people would perceive her. She mentioned this herself- which I found was quite odd. She would also park her car near where the parking lot cameras were. She knew she had enemies who wanted to vandalize her car.
Mine has to wear XL lounge shorts and t shirt bc I got so sick of a robe all the time. I always have to go do a store run or pick up to go cuz he’s never dressed and he’s already started drinking too much He’s 61 . I jump at the chance to leave house for any reason 😅
Lmao Anna my ex was the same very judgemental and shallow but never took a good look at himself and was tryna dress like a teen in his 40s 🤣 bomber jacket ripped jeans designer trainers 🤣
@@satsumamoon well I’ve watched a few of his videos, he’s definitely lost weight, has good grooming habits, nice and clean cut. Perhaps you should look at yourself and ask why you may have a hard time watching someone receive a compliment.
One other odd thing they do: I have noticed that when narcs are flat broke, they will walk into a boutique or shoe store and have the assistant run around trying to find the right shoes or clothing, while talking to them with disrespect. They will even spend an hour or two in there, bringing family and friends and getting them involved, acting like they have all this money and walk out with NOTHING, stating they really didn't find anything interesting or what they wanted. Wasting everyone's time and trouble. Even getting on the phone and have their flying monkey's go into a store and ask the assistant all kinds of questions while on speaker phone and have them running around and not buy anything. It's a power move, it's sick. Some good-hearted people trying to help don't realize they are getting snared up in that garbage.
They also drag people around clothes shops when they had arranged to do something else with those people. Walk away as soon as they start doing that. I allowed myself to be dragged into four clothes shops on the way to a cafe and then just before we reached the cafe I suddenly blew up at her about it, told her she had been very rude (she shouted at one assistant for not having a certain top in her size in the sale) and told her she was too fat for the clothes in the shops. Then I walked away.
I used to remember girls at school aimlessly wandering around clothes shops every Saturday whether they had money or not. They went around those shops trying on clothes they couldn't afford to buy every Saturday because they couldn't think of anything else to do. Why not go for a walk,visit a museum, or go swimming instead, but they were too dumb to do that. There were and still are rambling clubs to join if they had no friends who wanted to go walking in the countryside with them.
My husband is the opposite. He takes a shower every day. He takes about 1 1/2 hours 😂. Special shampoo, back scrub, cologne, eye drops to whiten eyes, lotion, shave head, face. Dries whole body with hair dryer. On and on 😂😂
And I bet he makes you pay rent and all the bills and just uses the house and water for free then goes off to do whatever it is that narcissists do. Karmas a bitch 💯 😅
I have a theory, narcissist golden children/ grandchild are those whom the narcissist wants to pass their demons onto. I really think they are picking out a new host for their parasites. If you look at who they pick and the way they analyze them, that strange stare and hoovering, it is like a wolf, it is like they are picking out a new car or lunch. They often look concerned that someone else might come and snag that person first or from them.
That fits with my mother, she picked out my oldest daughter and actually proceeded to destroy her in a covert way but tried to make it look otherwise. I'm glad she ignored my other daughter and my son, they are fine people with lots of integrity. But that woman affected all of us and not in a good way. She once said I'm just like my father, I hate kids and flowers and in that order. She only had one child, me and that was to tied around my father's neck. I don't know how my father ever tolerated her until the day he died. He was the opposite of her.
I believe this as well. I know a man that is training his daughter to be just like him, and she is a real B, already at the age of 16. Also, my father did this to my brother (his wife left him and now he is homeless) and my mom to my sister (who is now struggling, hard). It's not a theory, its truth, it's reality.
My narc ex did the very thing, dressing very juvenile in band shirts and distressed pants basically the way he did since his youth. Also the very shabby, dirty, torn apart clothes at home are spot on; often just underwear. It's really all about the facade.
The best thing to do is ignore their nonsense. Pay no attention to their unique expressions, labels and/or copying. Unbothered. Also when you dress better than them they will make comments to devalue you. “Are you comfortable?”, “do you always have to wear make up?” They are hyper focused on your appearance. And try to make you seems shallow or weird because you look nice.
Sometimes, imitation is truly the sincerest form of flattery. But, denigrating a person's effort to be attractive is cruel. I personally don't care for extremely long fingernails, for example, but I respect the right of others to like them. Same with makeup, hair and clothing. I appreciate everyone's desire to express themselves, but I sympathize with those who are depressed and have given up.😢💔
Boom.. Trying to look nice means your shallow and trying to impress people.. "I don't care what people think. I don't need to impress anyone." I liked to wear makeup for me not for other people. But lately I'm so depressed I don't even bother I'm sure that makes him happy..
OMG! This hits it right on! She is in her early 70's and wears flashy expensive designer boots to her knees. I try to keep my inner laughter from spilling over, but sometimes it is difficult!
This is really an eye opener. My mom is starting to get a bit of dementia so is letting her guard down- she has been copying my clothes, choices of what food we order and its more obvious now. Before she would hide this and was always “playing chess” in our relationship. My sister drove me crazy with her obsession with designer clothes and shoes. I am being careful to stay unattached to material concerns and am grateful that now they cant gaslight me. Its good to be aware of these things- thank you❤❤❤
What is quite striking is to observe the extremes, at home they look like slobs, but when preparing to go out they dress based on who they are going out to get attention from. Looking in their closet is like looking in the dressing room of an actor, complete with props. Because that's what they are, isn't it? Actors in a play where they are the lead character and everyone else is playing a secondary role supporting them. That's how they live their lives. I remember thinking often to myself, when observing this contrast, oh, what character are you playing today? Because absolutely nothing in their lives is real, just like the movies. They are in 100 percent theater mode all day every day. They are not living. They are acting. While the rest of us are walking around trying to live our lives, they are acting and waiting for your reaction to their show to just feel good about their performance. This is what actors do. But when you take on the role of thinking of yourself as a victim what does that do to you? It means whether the narc is still in your life or not, you are still seeing yourself as a two-bit actor in the narc's play and you are reliving THEIR play by focusing your attention on what they did to you. You are not living your life. You are stuck in their play, and that is always to your detriment. If a narc is an acting mode all the time, the only question you need to ask yourself is am I interested in being an actor in this play or not? Well, I'm just not interested in playing the role that you have assigned me in YOUR movie. No pain, no judgment, no shame, no I am a victim. Just no. Not interested. Walk away. Stop hoping you'll get a better role in their movie or that you will be the star in their movie like they made you feel when you first met. Make your own movie, if you will = live the life you want to live. Wasn't it Shakespeare who said we are all actors and all the world is a stage? Maybe he was on to something there.
@@Gotoworkkki guess i didnt bother to say that because im not focusing on him anymore. Hes just a memory and a rather bad experience. Why should i waste my time reliving that? Id rather focus on what i learned from the journey and i was reflecting on the fact that yes i did see this behavior, thought it odd and the conclusion that i reached and how i processed that info. The way i look at it were all going to run into a narc sooner or later. But to me what they did to me is not what's really important. What's more important to me is what i got out of that experience, what i learned, and how can i position myself not to repeat the same mistakes and live my best life. I want to live my journey, not be playing a role in some narc's horror film. So I didnt mention him because he's not worth mentioning. He's not relevant anymore.
My ex narc is a case manager for disabled people. When he goes on his home visits he is wearing a shirt and tie and gaudy gold jewelry and huge watch. Some of the people he sees are very poor. He also wears very bright or Easter egg colored shirts and loud ties, he wore a pink dress shirt on his first day of work. When he would visit me, baggy gym pants and t shirt and the craziest colorful wild looking sneakers. And almost always puma brand. Sometimes I was embarrassed to be seen with him.
New Years Eve at his place. Just both of us. I arrived wearing a nice shiny dress. He was on his old jogging pants and T-Shirt all night. I decided not to say a word about it because I knew he was trying to create a fight. Anyway, he managed to succed in doing so by burning the food " unintentionally " and going to sleep early leaving me alone sitting in the couch.
A lot of times at home, I wear old worn out clothes but will dress up/ dress accordingly for the situation when I go out. I have dogs, and I don’t want to wear my “good clothes” just to hang around the house with them. They love me just the same. They don’t care if I may look like a bum 🤣. I hope this doesn’t mean I am a narcissist. I did worry that I could be when I was with my ex.
No your not...Im a cleaner ,used to be a carer..and I get dirty all week so I just where t shirts and stretchy nylon trousers ..I shower and chill in my pj's,and it feels nice,I dress in nicer stuff at the weekend, it makes me feel better as wearing scruffy clothes makes me feel a mess😅...
This video is so interesting! Especially the part about trying to dress more youthful. My narc was ten years older than me and he really enjoyed the sense of power he got from that- it was so evident. When I would start to drift, he'd suddenly show an interest in relating to my age and in trying to appear more like my age range it seemed. It was like he was both insecure about getting older AND got off on the 'power' he thought he had for being older. He made sure to wear form fitting clothes to show off his physique. I don't see anything wrong with that, but it's the fact that his intention behind that was that he thought he was showing off his 'power'- that's what that meant to him. It was all about signaling power and capability.
My last ex said to me "ill never get old". He's 38. His hair is almost 50% grey. He wanted to color it electric blue to look younger. I ran away after 3 dates with the guy lol. I never met someone more like a crazy peacock than that man
@@anacristinamoura881 lol these guys remind me of male birds that fluff out their colorful feathers at the females and say "look at me!!". Like ok maybe you have pretty feathers but the personality is 0. So i call them peacocks. Even though its an insult to the poor birds
The Narcissist that was in my life dressed like a toddler because of his complete lack of self awareness. I guess he thought that regardless of how he dressed, the world would be putty in his hands because of his "wonderful" personality 😑 He just wound up looking like a three year old, sorely in need of a good nap.
😂lmao 🤣 I commented that I know of narcissists that dressed like teens but toddlers is more accurate With there mocking people all the time repeating what you say in a mocking whining tone like it's cute but it's not . At first I thought it was funny but after like 3 times of it I was like .... 😮 Really you don't grow past that age? 😅 I tried to imagine be like narcissists for a day today and it got boring really fast. It gave me a huge headache. Now I know why they always have headaches. They annoy themselves 🤣
Same for the worst narc that I knew. He dressed like a hobo. No motivation to do anything for his appearance because he was convinced he always looked amazing. The only effort he put in was aggressively shutting up anyone who said otherwise.
The narc in my life dress is very sloppy, but I do notice one thing that fits the narcissistic personality and that is when I’m not around him and he’s gonna go somewhere with a group of people or like at (Church) all of a sudden he gets dressed really nice, but then when he’s with me, he dresses really sloppy the hygiene not good either
Dressing sloppy and with bad grooming in your company is a type of insult, they probably not changing underwear either, they seem to get a kick of giving their very worst to see how much their victim will take.
One thing I’ve noticed is they like to wear really over the top colorful and quirky socks with their suits. I despise it because when I see that it’s all I can think about- it’s a narc
I'm sure that these things are true of some narcissists. But, it seems to me that they come in all shapes and sizes...and styles. But, what they do is concerned with masking their insecurities and giving the impression that they are successful and well put together. Because deep down, they really hate themselves.
@@ashv2440 ...and it starts with someone abusing them. People need to stop and think about how they talk to their children. It can do permanent damage and hurt so many others in the long run. Break the cycle!
They also stare at their food with dead fish eyes as if its a hunt down animal, then appraise and scan it like an AI. Total weird. Did you make a video about eating habits yet?
omg my ex did this!!! thought he was inspecting his food for germs or something of the like....but nope its a creepy "i got u right where i want u" type of stare with his eyes popping out of his skull 👁👄👁 .....the stare lasts for almost 10 seconds then he throws the food in his mouth and chews it into a billion pieces as if he's trying to torture the food. he typically does this with food i offered him. never food he makes or buys himself.
I lived this. I was in theatre class and always doing after school things-rehearsals for dance, choir, musicals. My mom, all of a sudden, became everyone’s favorite “theatre mom” the “cool mom” and was very hip with her styling. But that manipulation was to copy me. She would say things like “act my age? What, I’m sixteen! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” And take me shopping (conditionally of course) and get the same clothes as me. I hated it. But I was stuck. I couldn’t go anywhere alone and she’d invite my friends to come and hang out (even buying the beer!). I was mortified. I knew most of the kids were using her (especially when it came to concert tickets she would buy them) and I was mad and humiliated at her behavior and her buying them take out and talking to my boyfriends or interests. I was an afterthought. A gateway for her to have this “2nd teenage years.” And believe me, when they weren’t around, she would humiliate me, leave me stranded At dance class until she felt like coming to pick me up. And the punishment I’d get if I shared how I felt? Cinderella treatment and controlling activities. “You’ll stay at home and miss the activity. I’ll go and be present for the other kids”. I hated my life. My friends didn’t know the theatre mom was really totally hateful to me. My whole family saw it.
@ thank you very much. It felt therapeutic to share that here, as I have kept it inside for so long. I’m working on doing more of that so I can heal. Face it and call it what it is/was. 😔🙏🏻💪
The narcissist in my life talked me a very important life lesson. No one in this world it’s worth your peace of mind. They seem to shower you with affection and care to hook you on like an addictive drug, then the games begin. Run 🏃♂️ away love doesn’t hurt. Misunderstandings happen in every relationship but the constant arguments never reaching solutions is the big red sign 🛑 stop toxic overload ahead
I'm hoping I can get an answer to this. I've been dealing with my mother and younger sister and their abusive behavior my entire life. I stick around now because my stepfather is very ill. However, to protect my boundaries and minimize the verbal attacks I've started to lie about everything; where I'm at, where I work, what I think, you name it. I really hate lying so much. It's wearing me down and I feel horrible but I can't just walk away from my stepfather, they treat him horribly. Can you do a video on this or refer me to one you may have already done? Thank you so much for everything you do. ❤
@c.sexton4819 Check Dr.Ramani Darvasula a clinical psychologist specialist in Narcissism.... you'll find tones of videos....hope this will he of help to you.
When dealing with a narcissist, sometimes we have to do things that are out with our characters. Think of it as protecting yourself and not lying to them
I personally also try to be honest too, but when I have to deal with my narc ex ,I think he does not deserve to know the truth,because he will use it against me.Just give the least information possible.God helps me a lot , but still the person likes to create chaos in my life at any chance he has .If you are not baptised,consider doing that,these people spiritually attack you constantly, they are with the devil and only God can help you with that.I don't know if you know ,they have a very high ranking crafty demon in them ,but Jesus overcame the devil.I pray to God to protect you and your father with the blood of Jesus permanently,to give you wisdom how to deal with these people,IJNA.Still you have to accept Jesus ,if ou didn't so far.God bless you.
While I agree with the points he makes, there are other reasons people do these same things. Extreme insecurity, fear of dressing inappropriately, ignorance, being raised a certain way (I wasn’t allowed to wear pants growing up as a girl in the 1960s so I am more comfortable wearing dresses. My Dad got stuck as many people do in the decade when he was between 30 and 40. Everyone his age dresses just like him. 1968 school teacher clothes. Dad clothes.
I’m so sorry that you have a narcissist father. I watch these to help my sons deal with their father. The hygiene thing is real! It’s very hard to be a child of a narcissist. Your videos help so many people to cope with these problems.
After I moved into my complex, an older lady who seemed a bit anxious started finding all kinds of reasons to come to my door. Not wanting to be rude, I tolerated it...for awhile! The 1st big red flag was how focused she seemed over my clothes and interior design choices. She was very complimentary, even praising my style as a flex. But, suddenly, she sold all her furnishings, and her new choices nearly mirrored mine. 😮 Then, it was my jewelry and clothing style. Things started to go south when I got a reputation as a master chef and baker, and she would show up with "her" version of the exact same dish, but NOT get the same reaction. 😏 Then the backstabbing and rumors started, and she spread a false rumor that I had complained to management about her dog biting other residents, getting her in trouble. The lady the dog bit, who needed stitches, had complained. She put a wedge between me and my best friend, and our relationship never recovered. 😢 She even cornered my adult daughter, trying to create a wedge between us. Fortunately, she was evicted because she refused to rehome her neurotic pooch, but she left a scar on this place, that years later remains!!! She clearly was a Narc, and interestingly had been married to a corrupt Police Chief and their only daughter kidnapped her own children, tortured and kept them locked up in a basement, until the police finally freed them after many years on the run. The kicker: When the cops arrested the insane daughter, instead of prosecution, her Narc mother and beta father of kids refused to press charges! Wtf??!! 😳
I had a “friend” that encouraged me to wear a sweatshirt and cargo pants to concert while she dressed to the nines. Insisting I looked better that way😂 we shopped all day for her outfit. I was comfortable and confident and she looked great too but what a complete narcissist. It took me years to see this. We were friends from childhood to adulthood. She did some pretty crappy things to me and pretty much everyone in her life. She was great at keeping people in her life separate so that she could live her lies with each individual.
Narc grandmother had the most outrageous wardrobe that only Joan Crawford could envy. Everything was exaggerated: textures, textules, colors, PRICES - and yet they all fit her tiny frame perfectly. Everyone knew when ahe walked into a room. My covert narc mother does that other weird thing you mentioned: she wears one of two absolutely threadbare, hole-filled, terrible-looking cardigans closed with our childhood safety pins. (I'm 57.) You'd think she's homeless. Every time I visit, I point it out and ask if she has other clothes, and she defends her choice! Its the craziest thing. Maybe next visit I'll tell her I'm going to bury her in that since it's her favorite look. 😂
you look amazing in purple pastel.. and you lost weight !? your skin is so clear.. sorry, I don't mean to take away from your insightful video. 100 per cent accurate !
So, am i a narcissist because i like to be comfortable at home but when I go out I get quaffed? It is a generational thing. And sure you feel good when you look good. I have designer things because i love the quality which usual means handmade to some degree.
I was raised like this. My parents wore beautiful quality clothes and so did we as children. Not designer labels necessarily. It says to me something about who you are and the respect you have for others and yourself. Correct me
That's OK..its OK for your husband to enjoy his clothes &feel smart..it does not make him a narcissist for dressing smart..he just likes to dress nice &it makes him feel nice x
My narc washed his hair, blow dry and all that every time he needed to get out of the house.One time he went to the store to buy something I needed for what I was cooking and he came back only with half .I asked him why he didn't buy the rest as his answer was that the store didn't have it and needed it to go to a different store but didn't go because his hair wasn't washed
Many narcissists are obsessed with working out and having a perfect body and face, will spend hours at the gym and have lots of cosmetic procedures if they can. They love to be told how good looking they are and how young they look. It fills them with pride and arrogance. They show off fake high status through how they look. Often will show a lot of skin and wear obnoxious colors and gaudy styles to stand out.
My ex narc would wear a pin-striped 3-piece suit when we'd go to a backyard BBQ. He also wore sunglasses to an evening concert in his 3-piece suit. As you can imagine, people were staring at him; however, narcs likes attention any way they can get it!
Great topic, because nowadays fashion generally is a mean to show one's power/superiority, in a culture which is generally narcissistic. People is very accustomed to this, so it can be less easy to notice A real narcissist going by this style of behavior. My narc mum is an obsessive esthetic person since birth, I would say, and every other word she pronounces is beauty, beautiful; if she talks about someone, it's impossibile not to hear her judging his/her body, mostly negatively if she's a woman, less negatively if he's a man. Her passion for clothes is enormous, but she doesn't have or buy many clothes. She rarely does. But they have to be of the highest quality or brand. She often speaks of herself , her body, her outfit as kind of a wonderful vision: "I was splendid, luminous", "that day I arrived like a vision" .. etc. She has an objectively good taste about style and fashion, but these statements are so repetitive and exaggerate that are the ultimate proof of her narcissism. Among all the awful other signs, that we know very well and which she doens't lack at all.
Hi Danish. I love clothes that are colorful & designer as well, but I also like regular casual clothes as well. I'm also into having many shoes, but I also donate some of these ,as well as clothes , to people who may not have as much. Thanks for your insightful & accurate information, which is healing & helpful too. 👀 See you soon & ✌️ peace, love, Miss Janine🌴🧸🍉 🛍 👡
I have some bad memories of my mothers outfits 😬 she would wear very revealing clothes. I think she enjoyed the attention but I was mortified. She was aways big on parties and drinking. They've always been into designer stuff. I'm happy I never got into any of that. I can't thank you enough Danish 🙏 Months of silence after raging at me and now a message from my narc mother saying my father is in hospital. She's expecting me to go running back. I feel disregulated now. At least she can't see my reactions. I have to be cold and distant. It's so conflicting. This is what she does when she knows she's losing control. Use my dad but it's not going to work this time. Not after what he said to me.
We’re all narcissist and narcissistic including this speaker. Nobody is exceptionally excluded, it’s worse when they claimed to be exceptional since they exhibited superiority and it’s most likely a lot difficult being around this type.
It depends on to what extent. I know I don't try to ever hurt people especially on purpose. That's the big difference. I know I don't need constant attention like the narc does.
Clothing is not about self expression, it's all about competition. Danish is also a poet. I can relate to all of what is being said - but that line stood out for me.
Well, you are right about everything you say in this video. I actually have refused to go places with the narc wife because of her weird attire. That plus all the other weird things she does has functionally and permanently put an end to our so called marriage that never really existed. We live separate lives, and I couldn’t be happier. I honestly don’t care what she does so long as my boundaries aren’t crossed, and I enjoy my hobbies, projects, chores, and most of all my freedom. Meanwhile she is a physical and emotional wreck, and no one can help her. I don’t feel sad for her because she did so many things to ruin her life and has no one to blame but herself. I have tried to support her to make her happy but to no avail. She seems to like her weirdness in a weird sort of way. Your situation with your dad wanting to wear your clothes is beyond weird! And indeed she wants to keep and wear my old shirts and sweaters, but I don’t allow it. She has a job and can afford to buy her own mens clothing if she wants. That’s a whole other story-her bizarre sexual identity as relates to wearing mens clothing and making them part of her wardrobe. Weird!?!?
Mine was totally nuts he was Mexican and born in Brownsville TX. he made up a story about his father being Native American. By the type I met him he believed he was full native. I had no idea people lied like that so I bought into his story. He grew long hair, wore jewelry, and told everyone he was in Native. When I met him he was named Hawk, later he moved and changed it to Chrystal. 🙄 He received so much attention from men and women falling over him. Yes I was naive ! As I look back I realize I was attractive and 13 years younger and that made him feel more superior too. He used me in every way possible. I was really naive !
I mean... EVERYONE dresses better when they're going out, and more shabby when they're just hanging out at home. it's better than wearing pajamas in public. calling everything "narcissist" is a trend these days.
Omigosh! My love-bomber went out and bought six pastel colored polo shirts! I remember telling him early on that I like the resort-casual look. Up until then he had always worn plaid shirts. I never put it together until this very moment! Thx!
Clothes make the psycho.....My dad used to wear tight white clothes , summer winter........behind his back people would call him the winter painter cause they also wear the same ..😂
I know a man that did that, and he points to the Marlin on the shirt and brags that they are Tommy Bahama. I'm thinking: I don't care if they are Mama's and Papa's, you can't spray perfume on a pile of dog (beep) it still stinks. I don't care how dressed up it looks.
I dressed him i got all his clothes from the get go. Yes , he wants young people around inappropriately to young for a 60 yr old. His hygiene was very disconserting 21 days no washing themselves. I would like to know why he made nests , shoe nests , pants nest, just stuff nests . Why these nests?😮
@@artgirl1339 I swear we had to sleep separately bc he surrounded himself with crap literal garbage . when I first met went into loft and there they were shoes nest , then pants nest . I asked him wth is this ? you make nests? I was able to semi control that but still .... About the clothes yea I got good taste he knew it and let me . Iwant answers to this nest shit and zero hygiene
Zero hygiene 😂 Mine wanted me to buy him old spice body wash on one of our first dates I should have laughed and said no. But I bought him hygiene stuff and more stuff and eventually I said no more. So he like rebelled and stopped using soap 🧼🫧 and lets just say my poor carpets had to get deep cleaned a little more than usual for carpets . Like washed not just vacuumed. Also the bedding after he would visit had to be washed and house aired out. I was cleaning up after him staying home because I spent so much on him I had no money for myself left, I gained weight eating garbage to be able to feed him too (I like pricy healthy food that is nice to my hips) but noo this narcissist destroyed me I'm barely waking up from the fog 🌫️ I'm sick of this life it's gross 🤢😂 On top of that he's cocky I almost can deal with some of the other stuff but the straw that broke the camels back was the cocky entitled feeling and putting me down after I treated him better than his own ... Byee soon
@@ashv2440 I am so sorry for all your time lost . that is what bothers me all the wasted time / years . Oh yea bottles of body lotion bc he has awful dry skin . All lined up on night stand Not one of them used . Do yourself a favor when you even get a room some place , hey it's a out . Don't announce it , don't move in one felt swoop . I can tell you they are petty , vindictive AH. Move things out in bits. knew if I did it in one go he would caused so many problems. You will drop the Xtra weight fast just remember green veggies . dark green you will be surprised at how fast and no juices except complete fruit smoothies or better just the fruit . You will feel so good , clean . I comment here and on the other Dr. videos the woman Dr. So maybe catch up the next time . I am happy you found these videos . if anything they give you the tools to handle these freaks
You are really describing my mother in law. She wore the same red saree i wore on my wedding day. She slways wear specs. If i wear new loungewear, she will start wearing new. She loves to wear glittery bold color sarees, just to outstand from the crowd
I agree almost with everything but not the theory of wearing glasses, I am an empath in recovery for many years of narcissistic abuse, Im even sensitive to light and the feeling of dark lenses give me a sense of protection, shield and intimacy that otherwise I struggle to protect, cause mostly surrounded by other people, feeling too much.
My X magniglant X mother in law from hell would copy my dressing and also hair colour copy. She was always married to my husband and treated me like l was the other woman.
My grandmother wore high heels in her home, and glasses always; her oldest daughter (my mother) wore the oldest hole-est t-shirts and cut-off shorts three sizes too big for her secured with a hay-string for years at home. People are strange. Perfect Narcs.
My narcissist husband of 35 years had 20 + pairs of Levi jeans ALL the exact same, 20 + Wrangler pearl button up blue jean shirts ALL the same… White V-neck tee shirts …In the summer, he always wore western shirts with the sleeves cut off and unbuttoned half way down they were a variety of colors and patterns. Most every friend he had would copy his style.
My mother was a very insecure malignant narcissist. She tried to fix this with clothes and jewelry. It might have worked when she was young, but later her undeveloped and unattractive inner self shone through and overshadowed everything. Whenever she laid her eyes on me she would berate me for my clothes, they were so cheap she said. I am actually attractive and dress nicely, because lack of funds I don’t wear designer brands. Sadly her projection of self hatred on me never changed and the more I took my distance the more she hated me. It’s very sad. She died a horrible cancer death.
I remember when I was still married and there was any kind of family event to attend, we all had to wait for my sister in law who is a narcissit. She was never ready in time. Then she was appearing at the stairs, walking down gracefully, enjoying her show. She was always overdressed and the styling too much.
My MIL is in her seventies and she’ll wear something super bright colored with prints, almost child-like and what a seven year old would wear. And then sometimes she goes for the teenage look, skinny jeans, hooded flannel, trendy paperclip chain necklace, cheek shimmer makeup. Her wardrobe has always confused us.
7:00 My narcissistic demon father did that. He also used to borrow clothes from ppl. He did that with clothes as well as furniture. Both need a taste to be chosen. Narcissists dont have any taste. Only humans have taste and persona.
I noticed many Hispanic women, especially Mexican women show some of these traits. Always dressing up more than necessary for casual events or just for briefly going to a store or some other important place you have to go to daily. They seem to worry more about their clothes, hair, nails, shoes more than everyone else. Or is this just vanity?
Narcissism does have a gendered manifestation, and certain cultures and subcultures do foster more narcissistic habits than others. I’ve also noticed quite a lot of narcissistic behavior and traits in mainstream American white women overall, it’s cultural. Their male counterparts don’t have it as much, though the men in machismo subcultures regardless of race or nationality have quite a lot of narcissistic behaviors, IMO
Handmade shoes and expensive clothes. While I and the kids had clothes from 50% sales or clothes we got for free. No money was spent on us others. Not even a salary. In that case we were CEOs both as the cleaning company was ours. 😂 Its all about how they looks. Its about brands and cars too. And about flash the creditcards.
Yup they spend all their income on flashy things for themselves that they don't have anything to contribute to the relationship plus they expect you to contribute 😂 karmas a bitch 💯 Andddddddd...... Normal person feeding them all kinds of stuff while they rarely ever offer anything back. Ohh and when they do offer it's "I'm going to buy us this and that " 4 years later still saying the same thing about all kinds of things. I fell in love with the fake nice guy I thought he was because the looks aren't it 😂
I was 17 and I bought a hat to wear to a wedding with my meager waitress tips to wear to a wedding. My mother kept badgering me with, “ If you were any kind of decent daughter you would give me that hat!!” She put the hat on her head ; looked in the mirror, and walked away., I went without a hat to the wedding. I knew if I made a fuss I would not be able to go to the wedding.
Guy I unfortunately know, wears a black jacket all year round. Even in the 100f summer, he won’t take that damn jacket off. 😂 I think it’s hiding some prison ink or something.
She probably wanted to marry him and was mad you did 😂 karma is a bitch 💯 it will come back around to her when she gets a boyfriend or husband I bet he will have a shitty sister that's in love with him too in a sick insestuous way 😂
The ex narc always had to have designer labels but he couldn’t afford it so he would scour thrift stores to buy designer labels. The other weird thing he did was wear colors that were associated with the planets for each day of the week. Then at home he would wear torn up shorts and t-shirts. Weird
I buy used things like tables or stoves but I'd rather buy new purses or shoes. I'm not going to put stuff next to my body that someone else has had there. Gross.
With the Narcissists I've known, it's been a mixed bag clothes wise. I definitely recognised some aspects of the use of clothing. For e.g. my Mother used clothing in a powerful way, and to Gaslight people. She'd go on Holiday with a normal size suitcase, but She'd have my Sister bring her extra clothes from home secretly. She also parcelled up what She'd already worn and posted them home every few days. When She left the specialist guest house for disabled people, all the other people marvelled at her beautiful outfits including matching hats. But now could they possibly fit in that suitcase? It greatly amused my Mother to fool these people, and leave them scratching their heads as to how She did it? At the time, I thought it was just funny. But I'd never heard of Gaslighting back then, or Narcissism. I don't think my Mother was a full blown Narcissist but She definitely had Narcissistic leanings.
My husband wears tank tops in the winter. He gets the attention of people asking him if he's cold. Hes obsessed with his underwear. Makes me wonder why and who else sees them besides me. When it comes to his hair and beard, they have to be groomed just right. This is all for impressing the women at work.
My ex husband is constantly going to the gym, coloring his hair and chasing women even though he’s pushing 70 with severe heart disease. He drinks a half gallon of wine & states “wine is good for me.” He accused me of being happy about aging & berating me for not looking like I did in my twenties. He lives in denial that he is a sexy, desirable young man who every woman wants. In reality he is a broken down, frail, alcoholic old man approaching death after a miserable life being unable to love anyone, even his own children.
My wife's ex-husband is a poster boy Narc and displays many of these behaviors. Very enlightening. He has a prestigious job as an airline pilot So he gets to wear that official pilot suit. When he's out in public and dressed down he is in a coordinating jogging suit like it's 1997, the peak of his glory days physically. Any event he shows up for for the kids he's always in a suit and tie. My wife said that when they were married he was nasty and wouldn't bathe for 2 to 3 days, even after working outside or going to the gym. His home attire was old t-shirts and cotton sweatpants, because he was so money-minded. He will drive a hundred miles to go get a face peel. He almost always has his sunglasses on. Unfortunately I've had to do a deep dive into the characteristics and traits of narcissists to understand him and what he did to her. This cat is so messed up. I'm a good old boy. My wife is the most wonderful person we have an awesome marriage. I wish I could teach a class on what to look for and how to stay away from these people and prevent years of waste and abuse.
My mother would always wear beige but give my crap for what I wore. I always dressed nice people would say to me. I really didn't try to. I wear summer dresses because of the heat in AZ.
Idk about some of this. Dressing way down is pretty normal when at home… (especially if one has animals lol!) Also, I usually wear glasses at home because contacts don’t feel great. But will also wear glasses out. Depends on what is going on and where I am going. The competition aspect, manipulation and overdressing, I see those things completely being an issue.
I came to say the same thing. I don't "dress up" when home because I'm cleaning or working in the yard, and I think it's completely normal to dress nicely when going out.
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Ugh I have a separate set of clothes for around the house because I have 7 horses and a little farm, do all the gardening, housework and yard work myself and don't want to ruin my 'out in public 'clothes. (Which are nothing special) But my typical 'at home' clothes are just former 'out in public' clothes that have been downgraded and destined to get dirty, develop holes and have paint and stains on them now. 🥴
I'm an artist and I suppose I've never thought about the way I dress but I suppose it's a little unique, I'm probably a little bit eccentric. I adore bright flowing clothes, and float about the place like a blob of colour. I have a lot of clothing, some was my grandmothers. I do have a lot of expensive clothes because I spent 2 years on live t.v. so I needed something different for each performance. If I'm going out for dinner I will wear a piece of my * t.v. wardrobe * I'm not sure if I'm a narcissist but I do love clothing, I think the clothing I wear has no age and most women would wear it. It's lovely to get dressed up for an occasion, but dressing for the occasion is very important I saw in the comments one woman's partner would wear a 3 piece suit to a BBQ. What! That would have been very embarrassing.
Love your your tube but disagree with clothing stuff. It’s a personality disorder.
My boyfriend likes silk and I wear it and don’t buy the brands he likes! He has his own and I’m not a follower but as someone whom cares for him of course I will wear outfits he likes and we care about our partners wishes and this is a very grey area and I see what your saying. It’s difficult to see but do they mirror you all the way!!!! Becareful judging another
Hello Danish
My name is Jacinta from AUS.
Do you have an email address
Thank you for the videos.
One day, after a while, you’ll stop caring about the narcissist. God will lift the burden from your heart and bring you peace.
No one and nothing else can give you peace. You have to find it for yourself.
@@pmal7768 agree!
Amen
He choosed Hugo Boss costume for the wedding, but I had a friends used dress for free!
And the money was from my mother and father. 😢
Amen 🙏🏻
When I had my senior photos taken, my mom scolded me for not wearing makeup and said she can see my acne. She was so annoyed with me. I saw the pictures and was excited and so happy to finally get them and she just ripped me apart. I remember 20 years later. Looking back, I still feel I looked great in my photos and am proud I am not vein.
I am sorry she did that to you but you survived and are able to appreciate those beautiful photos now. And no, you are not vain to do that.
Did she pay for those pictures? If so, I don't blame her and I don't understand why you wouldn't want to look pretty for your senior pictures.
@@audaciousred seek help, troll
@@heneverforesakesme4038 thank you for your concern but I don't need help nor am I a troll. I disagree with her, this is supposed to be a forum where people can communicate their opinions back and forth, not pat people on the top of their heads and praise as if they are puppies. She has her youth and could probably be a very pretty girl, she should be encouraged to take advantage of that. Youth does not last forever. Why don't we start handing out participation trophies while we're at it LOL ? You sound like the type of person that thinks it's acceptable for obese women to wear bikinis and pose for swimsuit calendars
Vain
They also are obsessed with designer labels all over their homes. My NARC friend will notice things in my house always scanning for those special labels. When she sees one, she’ll stare at it, but will never say a thing. When she sees me grab coffee I enjoy off the shelf at the grocery store she’s twitching nervously like it’s some competition. Its the weirdest thing. She once called people peasants who she decided were not in her socioeconomic “class”. We are no longer friends. Such a relief.
I know some folks like that... so exhausting 😩
My no longer friend was like that too except the designer things. She was a better parent, had nicer things and did everything better than everyone else.
My Narc sister-in-law calls people who work at average regular jobs “worker bees” and looks down her nose at them!
My nephew is like that...he lives in his car..well he did. He now lost his licence so he might live under a bridge. He is famous though. Don shiply, phony navy seal page
My experience is the same!
I think narcissists scan your belongings so that they can figure out a cunning way for you to feel sorry for them & give them your things- they will not stop UNTIL you stop them! Narcissists are entitled jerks and want everything you own!
This was incredibly insightful to me. Thank you. My mother traveled the world and would buy clothes from those countries and wear them out but like she was dressing up for the theatre. She wore huge pieces of Native American jewelry that she knew people would be drawn to and comment on. The ethnic clothing and the jewelry demanded attention and curiosity from others. She never allowed me, her daughter, to get the attention. She always made sure she was the center of attention.
My narcissistic husband always wears too tight shirts. His beer gut has grown exponentially over the years, but he refuses to move into larger size shirts. He also complains about how fat other people are, but says he's not that fat. He's completely in denial. 😢
Funny, I knew a narcissistic woman who always wore heavy coats- even during hot weather. She was extremely self conscious about her weight and how people would perceive her. She mentioned this herself- which I found was quite odd. She would also park her car near where the parking lot cameras were. She knew she had enemies who wanted to vandalize her car.
That's how they are
Mine has to wear XL lounge shorts and t shirt bc I got so sick of a robe all the time. I always have to go do a store run or pick up to go cuz he’s never dressed and he’s already started drinking too much He’s 61 .
I jump at the chance to leave house for any reason 😅
Lol sounds like my husband. Everyone is fat but him, ugh.
Lmao Anna my ex was the same very judgemental and shallow but never took a good look at himself and was tryna dress like a teen in his 40s 🤣 bomber jacket ripped jeans designer trainers 🤣
Danish, you are looking great man, you look so healthy!
And handsome too.
Filters.
@@satsumamoon well I’ve watched a few of his videos, he’s definitely lost weight, has good grooming habits, nice and clean cut. Perhaps you should look at yourself and ask why you may have a hard time watching someone receive a compliment.
@@meiw8358 ikr?? the reason why his name is Danish is because he looks so scrumptious...LOL.
One other odd thing they do: I have noticed that when narcs are flat broke, they will walk into a boutique or shoe store and have the assistant run around trying to find the right shoes or clothing, while talking to them with disrespect. They will even spend an hour or two in there, bringing family and friends and getting them involved, acting like they have all this money and walk out with NOTHING, stating they really didn't find anything interesting or what they wanted. Wasting everyone's time and trouble. Even getting on the phone and have their flying monkey's go into a store and ask the assistant all kinds of questions while on speaker phone and have them running around and not buy anything. It's a power move, it's sick. Some good-hearted people trying to help don't realize they are getting snared up in that garbage.
My husband does that, buys it, then returns it the next week.
They also drag people around clothes shops when they had arranged to do something else with those people. Walk away as soon as they start doing that. I allowed myself to be dragged into four clothes shops on the way to a cafe and then just before we reached the cafe I suddenly blew up at her about it, told her she had been very rude (she shouted at one assistant for not having a certain top in her size in the sale) and told her she was too fat for the clothes in the shops. Then I walked away.
I used to remember girls at school aimlessly wandering around clothes shops every Saturday whether they had money or not. They went around those shops trying on clothes they couldn't afford to buy every Saturday because they couldn't think of anything else to do. Why not go for a walk,visit a museum, or go swimming instead, but they were too dumb to do that. There were and still are rambling clubs to join if they had no friends who wanted to go walking in the countryside with them.
I have a real life story for every example that you gave. Thank you for being so thorough. You are brilliant. I truly mean that.
My husband is the opposite. He takes a shower every day. He takes about 1 1/2 hours 😂. Special shampoo, back scrub, cologne, eye drops to whiten eyes, lotion, shave head, face. Dries whole body with hair dryer. On and on 😂😂
🤣😂
Could your husband have actually have ASD?
And I bet he makes you pay rent and all the bills and just uses the house and water for free then goes off to do whatever it is that narcissists do. Karmas a bitch 💯 😅
Mine does shit like this too- me & my kids can shower all before he's done
Ive been there done that 😭🙅♀️✊️@ashv2440
I have a theory, narcissist golden children/ grandchild are those whom the narcissist wants to pass their demons onto. I really think they are picking out a new host for their parasites. If you look at who they pick and the way they analyze them, that strange stare and hoovering, it is like a wolf, it is like they are picking out a new car or lunch. They often look concerned that someone else might come and snag that person first or from them.
That’s how the one I know have xes like it’s the last and it been feeling like this since I met him
@@supguys7418 wow, that theory made my hair stand on end. Well, if that is their solution its not going to work but the implications... shudder.
That fits with my mother, she picked out my oldest daughter and actually proceeded to destroy her in a covert way but tried to make it look otherwise. I'm glad she ignored my other daughter and my son, they are fine people with lots of integrity. But that woman affected all of us and not in a good way. She once said I'm just like my father, I hate kids and flowers and in that order. She only had one child, me and that was to tied around my father's neck. I don't know how my father ever tolerated her until the day he died. He was the opposite of her.
I believe this as well. I know a man that is training his daughter to be just like him, and she is a real B, already at the age of 16. Also, my father did this to my brother (his wife left him and now he is homeless) and my mom to my sister (who is now struggling, hard). It's not a theory, its truth, it's reality.
@@heneverforesakesme4038 she sad deep inside
You have described my narcissistic mother to a fault. Narcissists are the weirdest people, and I wish I could run away from them. They ruin lives.
Ultimately they also kill,
@@world-uk2vj 👍
My narc ex did the very thing, dressing very juvenile in band shirts and distressed pants basically the way he did since his youth. Also the very shabby, dirty, torn apart clothes at home are spot on; often just underwear. It's really all about the facade.
The best thing to do is ignore their nonsense. Pay no attention to their unique expressions, labels and/or copying. Unbothered.
Also when you dress better than them they will make comments to devalue you. “Are you comfortable?”, “do you always have to wear make up?” They are hyper focused on your appearance. And try to make you seems shallow or weird because you look nice.
The 2 year old copying.
I want to be like, I hate to break it to you but that is pre preschool behavior... Like before preschool behavior 😅😂
Sometimes, imitation is truly the sincerest form of flattery. But, denigrating a person's effort to be attractive is cruel. I personally don't care for extremely long fingernails, for example, but I respect the right of others to like them. Same with makeup, hair and clothing. I appreciate everyone's desire to express themselves, but I sympathize with those who are depressed and have given up.😢💔
Boom.. Trying to look nice means your shallow and trying to impress people.. "I don't care what people think. I don't need to impress anyone." I liked to wear makeup for me not for other people. But lately I'm so depressed I don't even bother I'm sure that makes him happy..
OMG! This hits it right on! She is in her early 70's and wears flashy expensive designer boots to her knees. I try to keep my inner laughter from spilling over, but sometimes it is difficult!
This is really an eye opener. My mom is starting to get a bit of dementia so is letting her guard down- she has been copying my clothes, choices of what food we order and its more obvious now. Before she would hide this and was always “playing chess” in our relationship. My sister drove me crazy with her obsession with designer clothes and shoes. I am being careful to stay unattached to material concerns and am grateful that now they cant gaslight me. Its good to be aware of these things- thank you❤❤❤
What is quite striking is to observe the extremes, at home they look like slobs, but when preparing to go out they dress based on who they are going out to get attention from. Looking in their closet is like looking in the dressing room of an actor, complete with props. Because that's what they are, isn't it? Actors in a play where they are the lead character and everyone else is playing a secondary role supporting them. That's how they live their lives. I remember thinking often to myself, when observing this contrast, oh, what character are you playing today? Because absolutely nothing in their lives is real, just like the movies. They are in 100 percent theater mode all day every day. They are not living. They are acting. While the rest of us are walking around trying to live our lives, they are acting and waiting for your reaction to their show to just feel good about their performance. This is what actors do. But when you take on the role of thinking of yourself as a victim what does that do to you? It means whether the narc is still in your life or not, you are still seeing yourself as a two-bit actor in the narc's play and you are reliving THEIR play by focusing your attention on what they did to you. You are not living your life. You are stuck in their play, and that is always to your detriment. If a narc is an acting mode all the time, the only question you need to ask yourself is am I interested in being an actor in this play or not? Well, I'm just not interested in playing the role that you have assigned me in YOUR movie. No pain, no judgment, no shame, no I am a victim. Just no. Not interested. Walk away. Stop hoping you'll get a better role in their movie or that you will be the star in their movie like they made you feel when you first met. Make your own movie, if you will = live the life you want to live. Wasn't it Shakespeare who said we are all actors and all the world is a stage? Maybe he was on to something there.
And why are you still with him? Lmao!!!
@@Gotoworkkk what makes you think I am still with him? He is long, long gone, thank God.
@@rebeccanatal1435 you didn’t say you left him that’s why I was wondering.
@@Gotoworkkki guess i didnt bother to say that because im not focusing on him anymore. Hes just a memory and a rather bad experience. Why should i waste my time reliving that? Id rather focus on what i learned from the journey and i was reflecting on the fact that yes i did see this behavior, thought it odd and the conclusion that i reached and how i processed that info. The way i look at it were all going to run into a narc sooner or later. But to me what they did to me is not what's really important. What's more important to me is what i got out of that experience, what i learned, and how can i position myself not to repeat the same mistakes and live my best life. I want to live my journey, not be playing a role in some narc's horror film. So I didnt mention him because he's not worth mentioning. He's not relevant anymore.
So true!
My ex narc is a case manager for disabled people. When he goes on his home visits he is wearing a shirt and tie and gaudy gold jewelry and huge watch. Some of the people he sees are very poor. He also wears very bright or Easter egg colored shirts and loud ties, he wore a pink dress shirt on his first day of work.
When he would visit me, baggy gym pants and t shirt and the craziest colorful wild looking sneakers. And almost always puma brand.
Sometimes I was embarrassed to be seen with him.
New Years Eve at his place. Just both of us. I arrived wearing a nice shiny dress. He was on his old jogging pants and T-Shirt all night. I decided not to say a word about it because I knew he was trying to create a fight. Anyway, he managed to succed in doing so by burning the food " unintentionally " and going to sleep early leaving me alone sitting in the couch.
Ex I hope ?
Oh wow. Been there. Hope you moved on to better ricer person
Yeah. Withholding. That is when (if you can) you leave quietly and block him on your phone. He (or she) isn't worth your time or worry.
If your seeing what he's doing and not living with him and stuck in the situation... Dump him now!!!
@@antheredhenand you still go over to his place, obviously you must like this, why do U still see him, life can't be that boring!!😂😂
A lot of times at home, I wear old worn out clothes but will dress up/ dress accordingly for the situation when I go out. I have dogs, and I don’t want to wear my “good clothes” just to hang around the house with them. They love me just the same. They don’t care if I may look like a bum 🤣. I hope this doesn’t mean I am a narcissist. I did worry that I could be when I was with my ex.
I wear old clothes because I paint. We have to practical. We don't want to ruin good clothes.
that means that you are very reasonable
No your not...Im a cleaner ,used to be a carer..and I get dirty all week so I just where t shirts and stretchy nylon trousers ..I shower and chill in my pj's,and it feels nice,I dress in nicer stuff at the weekend, it makes me feel better as wearing scruffy clothes makes me feel a mess😅...
Not the same.. Everyone has at home comfy clothes... Your not a narc.. 😊
Speaking of clothes, that color shirt suits you very well, Danish. 👍
I was so busy listening to him and reading comments and only noticed when I read your comment 😅 It's a lovely colour on him.
It is amazing that a simple shirt in that person's color can really make that person look awesome.
This video is so interesting! Especially the part about trying to dress more youthful. My narc was ten years older than me and he really enjoyed the sense of power he got from that- it was so evident. When I would start to drift, he'd suddenly show an interest in relating to my age and in trying to appear more like my age range it seemed. It was like he was both insecure about getting older AND got off on the 'power' he thought he had for being older. He made sure to wear form fitting clothes to show off his physique. I don't see anything wrong with that, but it's the fact that his intention behind that was that he thought he was showing off his 'power'- that's what that meant to him. It was all about signaling power and capability.
My last ex said to me "ill never get old". He's 38. His hair is almost 50% grey. He wanted to color it electric blue to look younger. I ran away after 3 dates with the guy lol. I never met someone more like a crazy peacock than that man
LOL!!
LOL 😂 crazy peacock 😂😂
😂😂
Crazy peacock 😂😂😂😂
The narc i used to date was more of a crazy rooster😂😂😂😂😂
@@anacristinamoura881 lol these guys remind me of male birds that fluff out their colorful feathers at the females and say "look at me!!". Like ok maybe you have pretty feathers but the personality is 0. So i call them peacocks. Even though its an insult to the poor birds
The Narcissist that was in my life dressed like a toddler because of his complete lack of self awareness. I guess he thought that regardless of how he dressed, the world would be putty in his hands because of his "wonderful" personality 😑 He just wound up looking like a three year old, sorely in need of a good nap.
😂lmao 🤣
I commented that I know of narcissists that dressed like teens but toddlers is more accurate
With there mocking people all the time repeating what you say in a mocking whining tone like it's cute but it's not
. At first I thought it was funny but after like 3 times of it I was like .... 😮 Really you don't grow past that age? 😅
I tried to imagine be like narcissists for a day today and it got boring really fast. It gave me a huge headache.
Now I know why they always have headaches.
They annoy themselves 🤣
Same for the worst narc that I knew. He dressed like a hobo. No motivation to do anything for his appearance because he was convinced he always looked amazing. The only effort he put in was aggressively shutting up anyone who said otherwise.
The narc in my life dress is very sloppy, but I do notice one thing that fits the narcissistic personality and that is when I’m not around him and he’s gonna go somewhere with a group of people or like at (Church) all of a sudden he gets dressed really nice, but then when he’s with me, he dresses really sloppy the hygiene not good either
Dressing sloppy and with bad grooming in your company is a type of insult, they probably not changing underwear either, they seem to get a kick of giving their very worst to see how much their victim will take.
Ya, all discusting. Don't shower for days and the want a B J... Discusting!!
One thing I’ve noticed is they like to wear really over the top colorful and quirky socks with their suits. I despise it because when I see that it’s all I can think about- it’s a narc
No I'm sorry but you are getting confused 😅..its just someone with a good sense of humour that likes to have fun!😅
@@philippamcqueen5430 sometimes perhaps. Not all the time.
My boss did that with socks and he is one of nicest man alive.
I'm sure that these things are true of some narcissists. But, it seems to me that they come in all shapes and sizes...and styles. But, what they do is concerned with masking their insecurities and giving the impression that they are successful and well put together. Because deep down, they really hate themselves.
They hate themselves
It's true
I pity them
@@ashv2440 ...and it starts with someone abusing them. People need to stop and think about how they talk to their children. It can do permanent damage and hurt so many others in the long run. Break the cycle!
They also stare at their food with dead fish eyes as if its a hunt down animal, then appraise and scan it like an AI. Total weird. Did you make a video about eating habits yet?
Very true
Yes he did, a while back. Very interesting.
omg my ex did this!!! thought he was inspecting his food for germs or something of the like....but nope its a creepy "i got u right where i want u" type of stare with his eyes popping out of his skull 👁👄👁 .....the stare lasts for almost 10 seconds then he throws the food in his mouth and chews it into a billion pieces as if he's trying to torture the food. he typically does this with food i offered him. never food he makes or buys himself.
Hi Danish! God bless you for your content, you are helping a lot in many ways... 😊
I lived this. I was in theatre class and always doing after school things-rehearsals for dance, choir, musicals. My mom, all of a sudden, became everyone’s favorite “theatre mom” the “cool mom” and was very hip with her styling. But that manipulation was to copy me. She would say things like “act my age? What, I’m sixteen! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” And take me shopping (conditionally of course) and get the same clothes as me. I hated it. But I was stuck. I couldn’t go anywhere alone and she’d invite my friends to come and hang out (even buying the beer!). I was mortified. I knew most of the kids were using her (especially when it came to concert tickets she would buy them) and I was mad and humiliated at her behavior and her buying them take out and talking to my boyfriends or interests. I was an afterthought. A gateway for her to have this “2nd teenage years.” And believe me, when they weren’t around, she would humiliate me, leave me stranded At dance class until she felt like coming to pick me up. And the punishment I’d get if I shared how I felt? Cinderella treatment and controlling activities. “You’ll stay at home and miss the activity. I’ll go and be present for the other kids”. I hated my life. My friends didn’t know the theatre mom was really totally hateful to me. My whole family saw it.
I feel terribly that you experienced this. I hope you're on your journey of healing and self-love. May you have peace and joy x
@ thank you very much. It felt therapeutic to share that here, as I have kept it inside for so long. I’m working on doing more of that so I can heal. Face it and call it what it is/was. 😔🙏🏻💪
The narcissist in my life talked me a very important life lesson. No one in this world it’s worth your peace of mind. They seem to shower you with affection and care to hook you on like an addictive drug, then the games begin. Run 🏃♂️ away love doesn’t hurt. Misunderstandings happen in every relationship but the constant arguments never reaching solutions is the big red sign 🛑 stop toxic overload ahead
I'm hoping I can get an answer to this. I've been dealing with my mother and younger sister and their abusive behavior my entire life. I stick around now because my stepfather is very ill. However, to protect my boundaries and minimize the verbal attacks I've started to lie about everything; where I'm at, where I work, what I think, you name it. I really hate lying so much. It's wearing me down and I feel horrible but I can't just walk away from my stepfather, they treat him horribly. Can you do a video on this or refer me to one you may have already done? Thank you so much for everything you do. ❤
@c.sexton4819 Check Dr.Ramani Darvasula a clinical psychologist specialist in Narcissism.... you'll find tones of videos....hope this will he of help to you.
By lying you are protecting yourself. I know it doesn't feel good. It's called SURVIVAL
When dealing with a narcissist, sometimes we have to do things that are out with our characters. Think of it as protecting yourself and not lying to them
@@Indyghurl Thank you for that.
I personally also try to be honest too, but when I have to deal with my narc ex ,I think he does not deserve to know the truth,because he will use it against me.Just give the least information possible.God helps me a lot , but still the person likes to create chaos in my life at any chance he has .If you are not baptised,consider doing that,these people spiritually attack you constantly, they are with the devil and only God can help you with that.I don't know if you know ,they have a very high ranking crafty demon in them ,but Jesus overcame the devil.I pray to God to protect you and your father with the blood of Jesus permanently,to give you wisdom how to deal with these people,IJNA.Still you have to accept Jesus ,if ou didn't so far.God bless you.
While I agree with the points he makes, there are other reasons people do these same things. Extreme insecurity, fear of dressing inappropriately, ignorance, being raised a certain way (I wasn’t allowed to wear pants growing up as a girl in the 1960s so I am more comfortable wearing dresses. My Dad got stuck as many people do in the decade when he was between 30 and 40. Everyone his age dresses just like him. 1968 school teacher clothes. Dad clothes.
Everything they do has intentions behind it ! Everything.
I’m so sorry that you have a narcissist father. I watch these to help my sons deal with their father. The hygiene thing is real! It’s very hard to be a child of a narcissist. Your videos help so many people to cope with these problems.
After I moved into my complex, an older lady who seemed a bit anxious started finding all kinds of reasons to come to my door. Not wanting to be rude, I tolerated it...for awhile!
The 1st big red flag was how focused she seemed over my clothes and interior design choices. She was very complimentary, even praising my style as a flex.
But, suddenly, she sold all her furnishings, and her new choices nearly mirrored mine. 😮 Then, it was my jewelry and clothing style. Things started to go south when I got a reputation as a master chef and baker, and she would show up with "her" version of the exact same dish, but NOT get the same reaction. 😏
Then the backstabbing and rumors started, and she spread a false rumor that I had complained to management about her dog biting other residents, getting her in trouble. The lady the dog bit, who needed stitches, had complained. She put a wedge between me and my best friend, and our relationship never recovered. 😢 She even cornered my adult daughter, trying to create a wedge between us.
Fortunately, she was evicted because she refused to rehome her neurotic pooch, but she left a scar on this place, that years later remains!!!
She clearly was a Narc, and interestingly had been married to a corrupt Police Chief and their only daughter kidnapped her own children, tortured and kept them locked up in a basement, until the police finally freed them after many years on the run. The kicker: When the cops arrested the insane daughter, instead of prosecution, her Narc mother and beta father of kids refused to press charges! Wtf??!! 😳
I had a “friend” that encouraged me to wear a sweatshirt and cargo pants to concert while she dressed to the nines. Insisting I looked better that way😂 we shopped all day for her outfit. I was comfortable and confident and she looked great too but what a complete narcissist. It took me years to see this. We were friends from childhood to adulthood. She did some pretty crappy things to me and pretty much everyone in her life. She was great at keeping people in her life separate so that she could live her lies with each individual.
Narc grandmother had the most outrageous wardrobe that only Joan Crawford could envy. Everything was exaggerated: textures, textules, colors, PRICES - and yet they all fit her tiny frame perfectly. Everyone knew when ahe walked into a room. My covert narc mother does that other weird thing you mentioned: she wears one of two absolutely threadbare, hole-filled, terrible-looking cardigans closed with our childhood safety pins. (I'm 57.) You'd think she's homeless. Every time I visit, I point it out and ask if she has other clothes, and she defends her choice! Its the craziest thing. Maybe next visit I'll tell her I'm going to bury her in that since it's her favorite look. 😂
you look amazing in purple pastel.. and you lost weight !? your skin is so clear.. sorry, I don't mean to take away from your insightful video. 100 per cent accurate !
Filters.
This is spot on!
So, am i a narcissist because i like to be comfortable at home but when I go out I get quaffed? It is a generational thing. And sure you feel good when you look good. I have designer things because i love the quality which usual means handmade to some degree.
I was raised like this. My parents wore beautiful quality clothes and so did we as children. Not designer labels necessarily. It says to me something about who you are and the respect you have for others and yourself. Correct me
My Ex Narc went to a BBQ in full suit with best tie. He wanted to "show all others how important the event is" 😂
Lol 😂😂😂
I would have been embarrassed or laughed???
@@jacquelineglitter4328 I was embarresed then. Now I laugh. 9 Year's difference. ❤️
@@jacquelineglitter4328 Sometimes things take some time.
ROFL
Most people have a new outfit for each day. My X-GF Narc has a new outfit for each HOUR. When she does laundry, the joint looks like a Thrift Store.
My husband always thinks people are admiring his outfits OMG 😮
That's OK..its OK for your husband to enjoy his clothes &feel smart..it does not make him a narcissist for dressing smart..he just likes to dress nice &it makes him feel nice x
@@philippamcqueen5430 it's more than that believe me, I was just commenting on the subject, he's very abusive in all ways
@@philippamcqueen5430 this is just one aspect of many , he is very abusive, manipulative, and scary .
My narc washed his hair, blow dry and all that every time he needed to get out of the house.One time he went to the store to buy something I needed for what I was cooking and he came back only with half .I asked him why he didn't buy the rest as his answer was that the store didn't have it and needed it to go to a different store but didn't go because his hair wasn't washed
😂😂😂😂😂 sometimes they are so silly that it's almost cute😂😂😂
my narc dresses in normal label-less clothes n u wouldn’t be able to tell… very humble looking, ordinary
My one always wears football clothes like he is a football manager 😮
He wishes 😂
Spot on with clothing choices. Your thoughtful insights always promote greater healing for me and also make me laugh. Thank you
OMG, you just described my " mother "
Perfectly. From ballgown to nasty torn nightgowns..Yuck!
So true!
Nice clothes to work and just underclothing with holes and junk falling out at home. Yuck is right!
I had an ex that was totally obsessed with designer labels and looked down on anyone who didn’t also wear these expensive clothes.
Hi Danish, happy I stumbled on your channel; quite insightful, plenty of food for thought.
Many narcissists are obsessed with working out and having a perfect body and face, will spend hours at the gym and have lots of cosmetic procedures if they can. They love to be told how good looking they are and how young they look. It fills them with pride and arrogance. They show off fake high status through how they look. Often will show a lot of skin and wear obnoxious colors and gaudy styles to stand out.
I know somebody who's personality changes straight after they get their hair done.
My ex narc would wear a pin-striped 3-piece suit when we'd go to a backyard BBQ. He also wore sunglasses to an evening concert in his 3-piece suit. As you can imagine, people were staring at him; however, narcs likes attention any way they can get it!
😂😂😂😂 ahh dear
Great topic, because nowadays fashion generally is a mean to show one's power/superiority, in a culture which is generally narcissistic. People is very accustomed to this, so it can be less easy to notice A real narcissist going by this style of behavior. My narc mum is an obsessive esthetic person since birth, I would say, and every other word she pronounces is beauty, beautiful; if she talks about someone, it's impossibile not to hear her judging his/her body, mostly negatively if she's a woman, less negatively if he's a man. Her passion for clothes is enormous, but she doesn't have or buy many clothes. She rarely does. But they have to be of the highest quality or brand. She often speaks of herself , her body, her outfit as kind of a wonderful vision: "I was splendid, luminous", "that day I arrived like a vision" .. etc. She has an objectively good taste about style and fashion, but these statements are so repetitive and exaggerate that are the ultimate proof of her narcissism. Among all the awful other signs, that we know very well and which she doens't lack at all.
Hi Danish. I love clothes that are colorful & designer as well, but I also like regular casual clothes as well. I'm also into having many shoes, but I also donate some of these ,as well as clothes , to people who may not have as much. Thanks for your insightful & accurate information, which is healing & helpful too. 👀 See you soon & ✌️ peace, love, Miss Janine🌴🧸🍉 🛍 👡
Danish u looking so fresh today ❤❤
How about wearing a hot pink top at a funeral. Everyone else is in muted colors.
Lol thats crazy
My mother wore a hot top to her husband's funeral, and stretch pants!
I have some bad memories of my mothers outfits 😬 she would wear very revealing clothes. I think she enjoyed the attention but I was mortified. She was aways big on parties and drinking. They've always been into designer stuff. I'm happy I never got into any of that.
I can't thank you enough Danish 🙏 Months of silence after raging at me and now a message from my narc mother saying my father is in hospital. She's expecting me to go running back. I feel disregulated now. At least she can't see my reactions. I have to be cold and distant. It's so conflicting. This is what she does when she knows she's losing control. Use my dad but it's not going to work this time. Not after what he said to me.
My half sister said she has a mom just like that.
My narc mom does the same thing. Just trying to pull you back into their evil trap.
Have observed people that is in love with themselves,always clothed too nice for situation,never gets hands dirty.
We’re all narcissist and narcissistic including this speaker. Nobody is exceptionally excluded, it’s worse when they claimed to be exceptional since they exhibited superiority and it’s most likely a lot difficult being around this type.
It depends on to what extent. I know I don't try to ever hurt people especially on purpose. That's the big difference. I know I don't need constant attention like the narc does.
No.
The GLASSES !!...OHHH...WOW...YES!.....SO TRUE...
Clothing is not about self expression, it's all about competition. Danish is also a poet. I can relate to all of what is being said - but that line stood out for me.
Yes , i have experienced this !
Hi, I love your place and whatever you’re doing. Keep on doing it. You look amazing your hair everything and I love your videos most importantly.❤
Well, you are right about everything you say in this video. I actually have refused to go places with the narc wife because of her weird attire. That plus all the other weird things she does has functionally and permanently put an end to our so called marriage that never really existed. We live separate lives, and I couldn’t be happier. I honestly don’t care what she does so long as my boundaries aren’t crossed, and I enjoy my hobbies, projects, chores, and most of all my freedom. Meanwhile she is a physical and emotional wreck, and no one can help her. I don’t feel sad for her because she did so many things to ruin her life and has no one to blame but herself. I have tried to support her to make her happy but to no avail. She seems to like her weirdness in a weird sort of way. Your situation with your dad wanting to wear your clothes is beyond weird! And indeed she wants to keep and wear my old shirts and sweaters, but I don’t allow it. She has a job and can afford to buy her own mens clothing if she wants. That’s a whole other story-her bizarre sexual identity as relates to wearing mens clothing and making them part of her wardrobe. Weird!?!?
Mine was totally nuts he was Mexican and born in Brownsville TX. he made up a story about his father being Native American. By the type I met him he believed he was full native. I had no idea people lied like that so I bought into his story.
He grew long hair, wore jewelry, and told everyone he was in Native. When I met him he was named Hawk, later he moved and changed it to Chrystal. 🙄
He received so much attention from men and women falling over him.
Yes I was naive !
As I look back I realize I was attractive and 13 years younger and that made him feel more superior too. He used me in every way possible.
I was really naive !
I mean... EVERYONE dresses better when they're going out, and more shabby when they're just hanging out at home. it's better than wearing pajamas in public.
calling everything "narcissist" is a trend these days.
Right
Omigosh! My love-bomber went out and bought six pastel colored polo shirts! I remember telling him early on that I like the resort-casual look. Up until then he had always worn plaid shirts. I never put it together until this very moment! Thx!
Clothes make the psycho.....My dad used to wear tight white clothes , summer winter........behind his back people would call him the winter painter cause they also wear the same ..😂
I know a man that did that, and he points to the Marlin on the shirt and brags that they are Tommy Bahama. I'm thinking: I don't care if they are Mama's and Papa's, you can't spray perfume on a pile of dog (beep) it still stinks. I don't care how dressed up it looks.
I dressed him i got all his clothes from the get go. Yes , he wants young people around inappropriately to young for a 60 yr
old. His hygiene was very disconserting 21 days no washing themselves. I would like to know why he made nests , shoe nests , pants nest, just stuff
nests . Why these nests?😮
I know its not funny but the nests made me laugh 😅
@@artgirl1339 I swear we had to sleep separately bc he surrounded himself with crap literal garbage .
when I first met went into loft and there they were shoes nest , then pants nest . I asked him wth is this ? you make nests? I was able to semi control that but still ....
About the clothes yea I got good taste he knew it and let me . Iwant answers to this nest shit and zero hygiene
Zero hygiene 😂
Mine wanted me to buy him old spice body wash on one of our first dates I should have laughed and said no.
But I bought him hygiene stuff and more stuff and eventually I said no more. So he like rebelled and stopped using soap 🧼🫧 and lets just say my poor carpets had to get deep cleaned a little more than usual for carpets . Like washed not just vacuumed. Also the bedding after he would visit had to be washed and house aired out. I was cleaning up after him staying home because I spent so much on him I had no money for myself left, I gained weight eating garbage to be able to feed him too (I like pricy healthy food that is nice to my hips) but noo this narcissist destroyed me I'm barely waking up from the fog 🌫️
I'm sick of this life it's gross 🤢😂
On top of that he's cocky I almost can deal with some of the other stuff but the straw that broke the camels back was the cocky entitled feeling and putting me down after I treated him better than his own ... Byee soon
@@ashv2440 I am so sorry for all your time lost . that is what bothers me all the wasted time / years . Oh yea bottles of body lotion bc he has awful dry skin . All lined up on night stand Not one of them used . Do yourself a favor when you even get a room some place , hey it's a out . Don't announce it , don't move in one felt swoop . I can tell you they are petty , vindictive AH. Move things out in bits. knew if I did it in one go he would caused so many problems. You will drop the Xtra weight fast just remember green veggies . dark green you will be surprised at how fast and no juices except complete fruit smoothies or better just the fruit . You will feel so good , clean . I comment here and on the other Dr. videos the woman Dr. So maybe catch up the next time . I am happy you found these videos . if anything they give you the tools to handle these freaks
@@Miss_TaknIt sounds like he could have depression or ADHD & possibly hoarding disorder. It seems he lacks executive functioning skills.
You are really describing my mother in law. She wore the same red saree i wore on my wedding day. She slways wear specs. If i wear new loungewear, she will start wearing new. She loves to wear glittery bold color sarees, just to outstand from the crowd
I agree almost with everything but not the theory of wearing glasses, I am an empath in recovery for many years of narcissistic abuse, Im even sensitive to light and the feeling of dark lenses give me a sense of protection, shield and intimacy that otherwise I struggle to protect, cause mostly surrounded by other people, feeling too much.
That makes sense. They use clothes (and I think cars) to give an image they think will achieve their exploitations.
My X magniglant X mother in law from hell would copy my dressing and also hair colour copy.
She was always married to my husband and treated me like l was the other woman.
My grandmother wore high heels in her home, and glasses always; her oldest daughter (my mother) wore the oldest hole-est t-shirts and cut-off shorts three sizes too big for her secured with a hay-string for years at home. People are strange. Perfect Narcs.
My narcissist husband of 35 years had 20 + pairs of Levi jeans ALL the exact same, 20 + Wrangler pearl button up blue jean shirts ALL the same…
White V-neck tee shirts …In the summer, he always wore western shirts with the sleeves cut off and unbuttoned half way down they were a variety of colors and patterns.
Most every friend he had would copy his style.
My mother was a very insecure malignant narcissist. She tried to fix this with clothes and jewelry. It might have worked when she was young, but later her undeveloped and unattractive inner self shone through and overshadowed everything. Whenever she laid her eyes on me she would berate me for my clothes, they were so cheap she said. I am actually attractive and dress nicely, because lack of funds I don’t wear designer brands. Sadly her projection of self hatred on me never changed and the more I took my distance the more she hated me. It’s very sad. She died a horrible cancer death.
I remember when I was still married and there was any kind of family event to attend, we all had to wait for my sister in law who is a narcissit. She was never ready in time. Then she was appearing at the stairs, walking down gracefully, enjoying her show. She was always overdressed and the styling too much.
My MIL is in her seventies and she’ll wear something super bright colored with prints, almost child-like and what a seven year old would wear. And then sometimes she goes for the teenage look, skinny jeans, hooded flannel, trendy paperclip chain necklace, cheek shimmer makeup. Her wardrobe has always confused us.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
7:00 My narcissistic demon father did that.
He also used to borrow clothes from ppl. He did that with clothes as well as furniture.
Both need a taste to be chosen. Narcissists dont have any taste. Only humans have taste and persona.
I noticed many Hispanic women, especially Mexican women show some of these traits. Always dressing up more than necessary for casual events or just for briefly going to a store or some other important place you have to go to daily. They seem to worry more about their clothes, hair, nails, shoes more than everyone else. Or is this just vanity?
It could be cultural?
Could be cultural or just the style their into. Yes I have definitely seen this to.
Narcissism does have a gendered manifestation, and certain cultures and subcultures do foster more narcissistic habits than others.
I’ve also noticed quite a lot of narcissistic behavior and traits in mainstream American white women overall, it’s cultural. Their male counterparts don’t have it as much, though the men in machismo subcultures regardless of race or nationality have quite a lot of narcissistic behaviors, IMO
@@Hulksmashhulkregret I have noticed a lot more narcissistic women now than when I was growing up.
Both. I notice it too. Just watch novelas , if you're normal you can't handle watching the drama and vanity for long
I wear sunglasses all the time... but I'm blind😂
Me too 😊
Handmade shoes and expensive clothes. While I and the kids had clothes from 50% sales or clothes we got for free.
No money was spent on us others. Not even a salary.
In that case we were CEOs both as the cleaning company was ours. 😂
Its all about how they looks.
Its about brands and cars too. And about flash the creditcards.
So true!
Yup they spend all their income on flashy things for themselves that they don't have anything to contribute to the relationship plus they expect you to contribute 😂 karmas a bitch 💯
Andddddddd...... Normal person feeding them all kinds of stuff while they rarely ever offer anything back. Ohh and when they do offer it's "I'm going to buy us this and that " 4 years later still saying the same thing about all kinds of things. I fell in love with the fake nice guy I thought he was because the looks aren't it 😂
I think this describes a lot of influencers actually, not all of course.
They like wearing the color...red.... of dominance.
I was 17 and I bought a hat to wear to a wedding with my meager waitress tips to wear to a wedding. My mother kept badgering me with, “ If you were any kind of decent daughter you would give me that hat!!” She put the hat on her head ; looked in the mirror, and walked away., I went without a hat to the wedding. I knew if I made a fuss I would not be able to go to the wedding.
Guy I unfortunately know, wears a black jacket all year round. Even in the 100f summer, he won’t take that damn jacket off. 😂 I think it’s hiding some prison ink or something.
What about wearing quality clothes, does this mean one is narcissist?
The sunglasses have to wear outside because the sun bothers my eyes. I have cataracts.
Me too
My Narc Sister-in-law wore the same red coloured and same material Saree(Im from India) which I was wearing on my Wedding day. 😅
She probably wanted to marry him and was mad you did 😂 karma is a bitch 💯 it will come back around to her when she gets a boyfriend or husband I bet he will have a shitty sister that's in love with him too in a sick insestuous way 😂
I almost agree with point 3 but would add that almost wherever a narcissist goes, they overdress/take a ridiculous amount of time to get ready.
The ex narc always had to have designer labels but he couldn’t afford it so he would scour thrift stores to buy designer labels. The other weird thing he did was wear colors that were associated with the planets for each day of the week. Then at home he would wear torn up shorts and t-shirts. Weird
I buy used things like tables or stoves but I'd rather buy new purses or shoes. I'm not going to put stuff next to my body that someone else has had there. Gross.
They’re super, super weird.
With the Narcissists I've known, it's been a mixed bag clothes wise. I definitely recognised some aspects of the use of clothing. For e.g. my Mother used clothing in a powerful way, and to Gaslight people. She'd go on Holiday with a normal size suitcase, but She'd have my Sister bring her extra clothes from home secretly. She also parcelled up what She'd already worn and posted them home every few days. When She left the specialist guest house for disabled people, all the other people marvelled at her beautiful outfits including matching hats. But now could they possibly fit in that suitcase? It greatly amused my Mother to fool these people, and leave them scratching their heads as to how She did it? At the time, I thought it was just funny. But I'd never heard of Gaslighting back then, or Narcissism. I don't think my Mother was a full blown Narcissist but She definitely had Narcissistic leanings.
Thank you so uch for your expertise. It amazes me.
much!
My husband wears tank tops in the winter. He gets the attention of people asking him if he's cold. Hes obsessed with his underwear. Makes me wonder why and who else sees them besides me. When it comes to his hair and beard, they have to be groomed just right. This is all for impressing the women at work.
My ex husband is constantly going to the gym, coloring his hair and chasing women even though he’s pushing 70 with severe heart disease. He drinks a half gallon of wine & states “wine is good for me.” He accused me of being happy about aging & berating me for not looking like I did in my twenties. He lives in denial that he is a sexy, desirable young man who every woman wants. In reality he is a broken down, frail, alcoholic old man approaching death after a miserable life being unable to love anyone, even his own children.
My wife's ex-husband is a poster boy Narc and displays many of these behaviors. Very enlightening. He has a prestigious job as an airline pilot So he gets to wear that official pilot suit. When he's out in public and dressed down he is in a coordinating jogging suit like it's 1997, the peak of his glory days physically. Any event he shows up for for the kids he's always in a suit and tie. My wife said that when they were married he was nasty and wouldn't bathe for 2 to 3 days, even after working outside or going to the gym. His home attire was old t-shirts and cotton sweatpants, because he was so money-minded. He will drive a hundred miles to go get a face peel. He almost always has his sunglasses on. Unfortunately I've had to do a deep dive into the characteristics and traits of narcissists to understand him and what he did to her. This cat is so messed up. I'm a good old boy. My wife is the most wonderful person we have an awesome marriage. I wish I could teach a class on what to look for and how to stay away from these people and prevent years of waste and abuse.
My mother would always wear beige but give my crap for what I wore. I always dressed nice people would say to me. I really didn't try to. I wear summer dresses because of the heat in AZ.
Idk about some of this. Dressing way down is pretty normal when at home… (especially if one has animals lol!) Also, I usually wear glasses at home because contacts don’t feel great. But will also wear glasses out. Depends on what is going on and where I am going. The competition aspect, manipulation and overdressing, I see those things completely being an issue.
I came to say the same thing. I don't "dress up" when home because I'm cleaning or working in the yard, and I think it's completely normal to dress nicely when going out.