🙏Grand Master Bashir🙏. --------------------------------------------- It is not a spiritual thing. It is organized crime and attemp on robbing ones freedom. THEFT. It is scams, a bag of criminal shit. LIES. theft. stalking and harrasement. Its phishing mailing. Its robbery on peoples money. Its infiltration of peoples PRIVATE papers. Its GPS. Its financiel criminal organized Bank scams. Its directly, for POLICE-WORK 😁👮.
Have you noticed how when you start recording them the entity stops 😁 good way to protect yourself and calm things down and proves it's a spiritual thing. Thank you for your videos.
it only sounds easy, but it’s not always very obvious. In my case, it was bread crumbing . Bit bit bit bit by bit, he was doing it in a very convoluted and manipulative way. He’s incredibly deceptive you will not always notice that you are controlled in my case. It took me 20 years to notice.
@JWSpencer-qj5jn Or if it's somebody who you would least expect, such as a family member. They could be manipulating you for years before you realize it.
I had business dealings with such a one…when I stood up for myself against extortion, I got a phone call from a trusted customer advising me that the scumbag was saying that I’m difficult to deal with….obviously to cover his own malicious behaviour…beware of those who throw stones, they are often distractions.
"They like it when you are crying". I am not a cryer but my husband was so hurtful at one point I started to cry. He said "You should cry more". He LIKED it! I immediately stopped and never cried in front of him again and shortly after I divorced him.
But they also hate it. They will do their best to get you to cry but once you do then you have lost their little game. They look down on you even more from then on.
Before I met my narcissistic husband, I was such a happy person. I am an artist, I love to dance, I believe in people, I tell the truth, I had a soft heart. Basically, I see now that I was the embodiment of everything that he hated. So he married me and crushed me. Then he hated me more for being nothing. I have good husband now. My good husband was raised on a farm, and he knows that his job is to make things grow: water the crops, nurture and care for the livestock. He care and love brought be back to life.
Wow you sound just like me. I’m an artist and a former pro dancer. Did you meet you current husband in a big city or where? And what type of place did you meet your ex narcissist husband?
Ahhhh, you helped me understand myself ( the soft tender free thinking artist) vs the legalistic system l came out of. Thank you. I am so happy that you have found real and joy. What a blessing. 💐❤️
The people a narcissist hates the most are those they cannot control-those who see through the mask, who refuse to be manipulated, and who won’t bend to their twisted games. My wife, my mother-they are queens in their kingdoms of lies, lashing out when their power slips, hating anyone who dares to expose their darkness. I’ve been their target, the one who dared to look behind the façade, who saw the evil beneath the smiles. They fear me not because I’m weak, but because I’ve seen their truth and still choose to stand. Their hatred is their weakness, not mine. I am the mirror they can’t shatter, the light they can’t dim, the strength they never saw coming. And in that, I am their worst nightmare.
Indeed I don't care if I ever see them again They are in my family n my workplace Just to be in a room is a most disgusting thing the air is filled with a dark n unclean energy Only God make me deal with these demonic hypocrites n devils
Amen to that brother. Narc mother here, narc father, narc ex wife. My ex wife even said it out loud ( I saved the email to show my children when they old enough) “I hate when I can’t control a situation and I hate your guts”. They often confess strangely enough when they realize you’ve caught on and won’t have any bs games! Like a little girl in woman’s body losing her possession…
ABSOLUTELY. YOU ARE A WINNER! WE ARE ALL WITH YOU, AND PROUD OF YOU. A BETTER LIFE AWAITS THOSE WHO HAVE THEM ALL FIGURED OUT. NOW, WE CAN FIND AND BUILD THE LIFE WE DESERVE, FILLED WITH LOVE AND COMPASSION.
I cannot believe it. I grew up in a severely narcissistic, sadistic family system. and they all ditch me because of all the 7 reasons that they hate me that you mentioned. Thank you so much for the clarification. Now I know I'm not in the wrong at all, In being the way I am.
@@nafeesakhan3504 I've actually learned to see the blessing in all of this. Think about it-after I dealt with the grief of losing them all, I realized that I could think with much more clarity. I was actually able to hear myself think, without ten million other voices in there. I found that I laughed a lot more. There's a whole lot more where that came from, but you get the idea.
Narcissists hate 1. Authentic people 2.Brave people 3.Big minded and visioner people 4.Truth tellers 5.people who are happy 6.Vulnerable people 7.Creative people
@@gerardomoonshine4984they hate vulnerable people coz they only wanted themselves to be the center of attention when they play the victim they should only be the one who's vulnerability will be recognized the real victims hurt should be out of the picture. 🙏🙌💯
@@MaraiahRimando true, but this comes after one's vulnerability has been exploited by a narcissist. Anything can be undermined afterwards. Further, I would add that the narcissist seeks vulnerability above all else. The more, the better.
Last relationship, told him this. "Every conversation ends with you angry and me in tears." I became disinterested in apologies. Many of us have been through difficult times and didn't hurt others. Now, I find myself smiling again after a long time. Many blessings 🙌 🙏 ✨️ 💓
I am definitely the scapegoat of my family, they put me down anytime they can and copy what I do. When they see me crying (watching a sad movie for example they feel so uncomfortable because I show my vulnerability). You are so spot on Bashir, as usual.
That's odd as all the narcissists I've know would be compemptuous if I cried and enjoyed my upset, or ignored me. They never were uncomfortable about their behaviour to me, the scapegoat or my brother, the golden child😢
Not only creative in the usual ways such as playing a musical instrument, painting a picture or writing a poem but creative in choice of activities as they don't follow the crowd. They get off the treadmill when an activity they enjoy becomes a fad or their favourite holiday destination gets very popular.
This was a very well thought out, articulate and concise explanation of not only what a narcissist hates, but also a precise description of narcissism over all. As always, the main focus encompasses all that a narcissist is devoid of; imagination, intuition and empathy. Point #7 expresses this clearly and intelligently.
👍🫶Hi Danish. This video is so on point. Narcissists don't want to see us succeed, so they try to sabotage our life at work, home, socially, anything to dull our shine. That's the very moment we shine more❣️. I'm glad I found your channel to make my life better by your good exlpanations of their nightmare brhavior. ✌️ Peace, love, MISS JANINE🆒️ ♏️ 🌹🦋
My ex narcissist boyfriend LOVES talented people. He’s a talented actor and I’m a talented dancer. We met each other in our 20’s, while at the performing arts conservatory we studied at. Years later, now in our 40’s we started dating in January of this year. WORST relationship I’ve ever had! He was SO in love with himself and full of pride. Adult discussions with him **always** became blown out of proportion and went straight into yelling at me, shouting, and destructive arguments. He is an insufferable man. A 45 year old CHILD who threw tantrums at me whenever I tried to calmly voice something he did that hurt me or that was bothering me. Just downright emotionally immature, abusive and unavailable. Of course I was blamed for even voicing a concern because he believes he is nothing but an amazing person who can never do anything wrong.🙄
@@irinaivanovic9792 Competitors are maybe then a bit more rare for him versus for others narc people views. When somone has a high grandiosity and isolation in it, it is possible. Hating untalented is then enough. Or he does not tell every envy, because it would let him look weak. Other narcs are telling good about artists and whatever science 'stars', because it is a thing to look good educated, to know the art and genre and it is sometimes important for connections. They are often so (for me too) nice to colleagues, to have a good standing, control. Played love...
Excellent. Im creative truth teller. At over 70. I just total ignore the narcissism in my husband do my own thing. Drive him crazy. But happiest I’ve been in the 50 yrs of trying to appease him. Just do what keeps me happy. Life left is too short to deal with his crazy.
After enduring unexplainable emotional trauma from an abusive relationship, I feel deeply disconnected from my true self. Although two years have passed with no contact, the scars remain. For five years, I focused on helping her become her best self, yet she relentlessly worked to sever my connection with who I truly am. It's not just the torment during those 4.5 years that hurts, but also the aftermath. The trauma she left behind is incomparable to the usual heartbreak-it's something that lingers, making it hard to trust again, or even to reconnect with myself. I wouldn’t want anyone to endure such a relationship, where the emotional damage stays long after the person is gone.
It takes a while to regain SOME of your essence . You have to realize you won't get it back the way you were. I realized this just this a.m. I will never be the brave roll off my back person I was . I will have some but to much damage was done . I think everybody has a agenda . That I'm not sure when or if it will ever go away. it takes time
Don't let the abuse of others take the core soul out of you. Is still there, just don't lose hope and keep fighting for yourself. It is a battle worth winning. Bless.
"A narcissist life is nothing but a big big lie. They live in an illusion, which is reinforced through their delusions."-- Today, I got a perfect definition of a Narc. You just got a +1 sub.
It's sort of ironic that narcissists sometimes say this as well. To them giving the bare minimum of respect to others is hard work. They actually think not abusing people is difficult and commendable.
Thanks l now know why some people hate me and bully me at work because l hate injustice and inhumane actions lm always happy and always want to reach out and help people naturally shame on narcissists thanks so much Danish
Thank you. I have finally realized that my daughter is a narcissist. There was always termoil and always anger and always belittling of everyone. She always finds someone wrong and wants done only what she wants. She honestly has no friends. What a sad unhappy way to live. Thanks for your down to earth insight.
I know fully well one person that fits your description.Thank you for the very clear presentation of the subject. Now I have clear knowledge on how to deal with such personality.
I wish I knew about this sooner. I've known some that did attack me for no reason and I learned to walk on eggshells for the rest of my life to avoid being a target. it was easier to surrender my own rights to avoid being fired upon by them. Now it makes sense. It's them, not me, wish I had that insight decades ago.
Thank you Darnesh, without your you tube videos I would not be alive. We have no effective mental health service here in Southampton England. My Story.. For six months this year and two of last year, I went through a narcissistic relationship. The narcissist love-bombed me and fell in love with an interpretation of me. And that interpretation, she gaslighted me. She projected back onto me, saying that I fell in love with her ideal, but in fact, it was her all along. She made me feel guilty. We did many things in the love-bombing stage. We went to Edinburgh. We went to Venice. I was looking after the kids. And then around the middle of Venice, she started to discard me. And she was devaluing me, devaluing me slowly, making me doubt myself, doubt my feelings, doubt my understanding of her. She was telling me that I was fat. She was telling me that I was lazy. She was telling me that I was neglectful of her and all the things that she had in her mind. And meanwhile, I thought she was going nuts. I thought she was mentally sick. And I wasn't far wrong. I didn't know what narcissism was. By May, she rang me up one night to say good night. And I said, I'm not feeling very well. I told you not to speak to me like that. I said, I'm only telling you the truth, honey. I told you not to speak to me like that. She was so angry with me. She was devaluing me. She was making me doubt my own feelings of my own mental state. And I just was such an important issue. I was not well. And I then said to her, look, when you first met me, what was wrong with me? And she said, not much. And I said, okay, the second question, when will you tell me that I'm perfect? And she says, maybe never. So the issues that went through the narcissistic relationship were trust, and deflection, and projection, and abuse, and mental anguish, and all sorts of stuff that were just completely one-sided, unilateral. And there was no escaping it apart from just remaining silent. So I remained silent on the after the silent treatment that she gave me for a week, and the refusal to ever meet me again and discarded me. I sent her a postbox with all the memorabilia that we had accumulated over our time, wrote definitions of love empathy apathy over the back of the photos and then she refused the delivery. I yesterday drove my car. For the first time in 25 years, I haven't driven a car. And I took the car to her house then dumped upside down the memorabilia of this box her doorstep. It went all over her recycling boxes for plastic, glass, and paper, and she had no other choice but to pick it up and physically discard the items in the bin herself. The silent treatment that I've now given her is a taste of her own medicine towards me, and she will have to live with it in her rubbish bin until the day the bin man comes to collect her rubbish..
Hate is putting it kindly. My narc mother loathes me. I honestly think she regrets giving birth to me. 🙊I’m done trying to have a relationship with her because it will never work given that I see through the BS. It’s a constant tug-of-war. all the others just go along but am no sheep 🐑
@@rupanshidhruv Have enough strength and wisdom to call them out on their bullshit and refuse to tolerate it. They'll then have a tantrum like a child and it's amusing to watch
I’m almost 50, single dude, never married but lots of past gfs, no kids because I was careful and never wanted any. This guy at my work (with 5 kids 😂) has treated me like garbage since his first day for 2 years now. Only reason I can think of is he’s jealous of my perceived life! Little does he know I have a family that I support (elderly mother/2 nieces). I’ll never tell him that though. I’ve found it so strange that he copies my behavior towards people I genuinely care for at work. I’ve also seen his real self, and those people have asked me “what’s his problem?”
They do that if married and their targets are single. I was on day release to college and one of my classmates boasted about her married life saying she and hubby would meet up with his nieces and nephews outside of work and college and hinted that us single people had no social life or hobbies. I replied that I had a life too as I had friends I hung out with frequently and I belonged to a walking and youth hostelling group. I and a few work college had been to a music festival at the previous bank holuday weekend. She was lost for words after that. Some women don't know how to have a social life or hobbies outside of husbands or boyfriends. But many singles do. We attend church, volunteer, go out into the countryside at the weekend or go to the cinema or theatre.
@@rupanshidhruv figure out how to excuse yourself from the conversation…learn how to block out negativity by thinking of pleasant things! I have mastered the art of detachment but it took practice…hang on in there, u can do it… I did!
This describes the dynamics of my workplace. I have experienced & healed from a narcissistic romantic relationship. In this workplace, i am seeing it so clearly & getting out ASAP. Much of my healing was energetic through the Angelic Realms....but your concise videos helped with the words so i could identify it....& keep myself safe until I can get out.
It seems I live in a city full of narcissists even if they aren't actually narcissist or sociopathic. It's all they know from their parents, their school, their church, their place of work or the mainstream media so they know no other way of behaving or treating other people. They treat other people like they are objects. Nussbaum broke down several ways people do this. Treating other people as all the same and that they are interchangeable. Finding out about narcissism, sociopaths, objectification and boundaries woke me up to how I had been treated and why I felt uncomfortable with it. I thought it was just me not being happy with it. Thanks to all this information I was then able to openly question it instead of forcing myself to go along with it or making excuses not to.
I’d say I’m all of them I know how to be authentic, brave, big minded, visionary, independent, truth telling , happy, vulnerable if it equates to brutal emotional honesty and creative I’m autistic hi I like Silver the Hedgehog his colors are awesome I do get creative in a way that neurotypicals look over. Thank you for the video.
I have a 7:17 small home but I saved and watch every penny to pay for it. I had a friend who visited recently and I could see that jealousy. She went over every reason she didn't have a home. I felt her getting more angry and the criticism started. She doesn't have a home because she bought cars that cost 50 k more times than I know. Believe me im not going around her again
I feel you oh yes I do I have a narsasitic 40 year old granddaughter with 3 kids who told me she Is a protected child of god and dosent have to work,but hopes to plant her ass in my house after I drop of my purge NO WAY I SAY ! but ask me why not because her father has a house her aunt has a house why can't she have .my house one day.that to me is not happening she is also a user of drugs she never worked a day in her life and survived on social security,she is a liar never admits to anything nothing is ever her fault and menipulater and narsasit I wanted to love her but I'm all used up and can't give her what I dont have anymore because I can't trust her anymore it's sad but true.😢
I remember when I became engaged to be married and my Narcissist Mother said " don't think your Marriage will be a bed of roses" I'm still happily Married (36 years) 1-0 🤣
Yes it's hard work thinking they have the right to control another person and finding they can't. So narcissists and their spouses have miserable marriages. They treat their friends, siblings and children in the same way or try to.
All the videos I watch on narcissism are about my life. I have all the traits you have mentioned in this video. All the people around me were narcissists except for my wife and perhaps my father, but he was an enabler. My entire life I have been positioned as the least important person in my family and my circles. Now I am on top. I had to go NO-CONTACT with everybody to accomplish it. My emigration to the United States helped a lot. I subscribed to this channel.
My mother would smile when I would cry. Whenever I was genuinely happy she would tear me down somehow- a sly remark- always passive aggressively though. She truly hates me. 2.75 years no contact and she could care less.
This is very good. I am with a twin soul and he is a narcissist and a gaslighter.I didn't even know what was happening to me til I learned from you lovely people what a narcissist IS!!!❤thankyou for teaching me.I have to take the learning slowly as it hits hard.
4,5,6 is what I’m facing right now. Exactly the same. I feel like you are peeking into my life and seeing everything what’s going on and doing a video lol😅thanks Danish. You brought peace to my life by telling reality about narcissism and their victims
Ημουν .....ναι ευτυχως ΗΜΟΥΝ με ενα τερας σαν αυτον. Εζησα μια κολαση μαζι του,εχασα τον εαυτο μου,ομως με πιστη,ελπιδα,αγαπη,αγαπη για ζωη τα καταφερα και ΕΣΩΣΑτον εαυτο μου.Πολυτιμα ολα οσα ανεφερες,μαθαινω καθε ημερα να ειμαι ευγνωμων για τη δευτερη ευκαιρια που μου εδωσε η ζωη,εστω και τωρα. Ειμαι 60 ετων και προχωρω ,μη παραιτειστε φιλοι μου!!!!
A narcissist partner may deeply hate you but still want sex with you if they have no other supply. So crazy it feels like a 1 night stand it’s just impersonal and robot like it’s scary after years and years. I cannot wait to leave that is my goal. Wish I could think of things that matter instead of his bullshit!
I had to watch this twice. Im acreative and you have again ticked all myboxes and given me deeper understanding of my life. God bless you all ways always ❤
I am totally the first type....and the reactions in my life make perfect sense. ....and aspects of the other types. They all boil down to authenticity, which ultimately is the courage to live a truthful life.
I came to understand that all the folks who hate me are narcs, but it also meant I was a self made victim all this time because I let them in my life thinking it was my idea, but I know now that I was tricked. well I feel better today because now I do make my own choices and therefore have only myself to blame from this point on.
Not at all; you are not to blame. Now is a time of learning, healing and getting/keeping them out of our lives. They see us coming. They use and abuse us in such subtle ways at first we don't even feel it until they beat us down. heal, my friend
They visibly are energized when they see a crack that they can prey upon to make you miserable. Set boundaries, don't bend. They see you bending your boundaries as a way to harm you and gloat. It's creepy to see once you are healing. Stay objective not emotional. It's your shield.
Wow, am 71 & this is my ex (15) years with him & my g/ friend & youger sister & daughter. I know you may think not possable but these are all behaviours of theirs. They don't like the word 'no', I disagree, 'that doesn't make sense,' 'but that's not logical'. I got like you said, everything you said is 100 per cent so liberating. Now when I look at them they can see in my eyes that I now see who they are & try love bombing . I own my brain now, wow thx soooo much
Danish, you are amazing! I coexist in a family of both men and women who function on the ASPD spectrum; often I feel overwhelmed that intelligent people could be so flawed. Therefore you are my blessed alter ego. I have 3 degrees including the PhD in psychology and counseling, and although I recognize the textbook characteristics in my family members' behavior, their intentionally disruptive behavior and games are exhausting. I am impelled to speak my mind, because I agree with you that these destructive souls are riddled with demons. I worry "about and for" them, because they are deeply in denial, and do their best to cause me grief. I worry because I do not see that God gives sociopaths a pass in scripture, even though they are likely struggling with inherited predispositions. So, thank you very much for the service that you are providing. I particularly appreciate your touching on the spiritual dimension in some of your presentations, because I do not believe those who manifest antisocial personality disorder can be cleansed until they deal with their spiritual liabilities; this is a wicked and depraved disorder. Your presentations are unique, because you touch on the spiritual dimension. Please continue to do that.
This is one of the best videos on narcissism, concise and to the point. I'm going to have to rewatch this several times, there is so much great information. I have a narc friend. The Narc friend has put down boundaries many times over the years, I recently put down a boundary (the first time) and I was ghosted. Now I realize that as long as I played the game of her "fantasy" I was ok but the minute I said no to the fantasy that was it. Her fantasy is being overly religious. Imagine that... a narcissist drawn to the illusion of religion to provide a protective fantasy about who they really are. Do you know a religious zealot that is a narcissist? I've known many.
We really thank God for technology. Seniors like mev are learning so much about people around us. Before l have to be with them, live with them & then l know their character. Fortunately l was lucky. Haven't encountered a Narsissist except an advocate & solicitor. Her karma isn't good either. But l responded her & left my association with her, never to see her again.
I/ we have All of them! No wonder my son and his wife hate us!🤷🏼♀️ at this point, I feel sorry for them and my grandchildren, but I won’t tolerate any of their games and disrespect! Their loss! I’m at peace😊
Iam a bit of all you mention but as a specialist you will also know that the scapegoat is the worst victim in a narcissist relationship even if is your family and not your partner my God have mercy all of them are narcissists and thanks to you and another doctors I have figured out that for 50 years my suffering was not an illusion but a lack of understanding and all the abuse I received God willingly is going to go away because when I make my move is going to be life my choices with the lord HalleluYah and my healing in Christ I need severe healing my Yeshua save my life from the pit of damnation make me worth to stand victorious in thy name amen 🙏 HalleluYah thank you for sharing
i told a narc that i spent the morning making banana bread from two black bananas. they spent the next several minutes in a loud voice telling me where to find and obtain over ripe bananas, as if I didn't already finish making the banana bread...as if I asked them where to find bananas, and as if it isn't the most easy thing in the world to get bananas and let them ripen. it was completely bizarre
I only just found out my mother is a narcissist about a month ago. One of the worst moments of my life, the loss of my child(32 weeks gestation, i was induced into labor because of a mirror effect from translocation), my mother was completely unable to be emotionally available for me, and forced me to go to therapy DAYS after she had died. On the way to therapy, i had mentioned that i didn't feel like i could go to therapy, i didnt feel like i could talk about it to strangers. She stopped the car and yelled at me, told me i was being childish and selfish. That was one of the most telling moments in my life that my mother was a narcissist, and i still hadn't a clue because i wanted to believe she cared for me. My mother made my daughters death all about her own grief, and deflected all of mine. I remember that when my daughter was born, i allowed my mother to be in the room during the process of her birth, she acted as if she were faint and fell over into a chair dramatically, because even then in that moment she couldnt stand not being at the center of attention. I am so disgusted when i look back at this particular moment of my life with the experience of having a narcissistic mother.
@jacquelineglitter4328 i am so genuinely sorry that you had to go through this. We deserve love from our mothers and nothing else. The fact that this was not the case in one of the hardest times in your life is not fair. At all. I send you healing hugs.
i am the one who became a shell of himself.. after 10 years of not noticing who i was with.. I was as resiliant of a person as you can imagine and these days i am trying to figure out wtf is wrong with me, what i did wrong, what could i do differently.. etc. trying to figure out if i am a narcissist. Heavy depression, self doubt, insecurity.. you name it. No matter how hard i tried, she always found something to put me down or keep me on my toes. She was pretty much waiting for a special day like birthday, graduation etc.. and no matter how much effort you show, she could start a fight out of thin air, picking on tone of my voice even. Double standards, silent treatments, completely ignoring, punishing.. Betrayal, lies.. The whole love bombing and the following phases.. hating herself, openly saying things like "our dna should end.. my entire family is fked up.." bc of how they fight over money, how everyone is betraying their partners.. and 2 minutes later she would be saying i blame her for everything, that i hate her etc.. Imagine the situation, she is freaking out writing her diploma thesis and she is stuck.. confused etc.. I pick on the task and to be able to help, first i learned the whole scientific methodology subject. Then i looked the one she picked for her thesis and started analyzing what she did so far. I found many mistakes and stuff that doesn't match her selected methodology. I explained it all to her and showed her what we need to change, add.. etc. I put her to work on it and next day she is lost again.. I check what she did and put her back on track explaining the whole thing and helping with the content. This went for a while and before uploading it, i convinced her to send it to her mentour one last time for a feedback. Feedback was awesome with only a few very minor details to be considered. We fix that and again before uploading i convinced her to send it to her mentour again. Because she was so stressed and i wanted to make sure she wont freak out while waiting the result. She was so insecure but we sent it again and this time it was all good. Then she delivered it officially and i was so happy, thinking she is finally going to relax. I was celebrating that she is graduating. But no, she didnt relax and kept acting the same. Then she got 95 out of 100... I was truly celebrating this time even more than before (because she made me a miserable person and i kept thinking it is because this stress or that problem and if we can get over it she will be fine after.. ). Nope she was still the same now worrying about the oral exam, defending her thesis. Same cycle went on until that day she had her final step, defending her thesis. Meanwhile i was in an extremely stressfull situation elsewhere, couldnt attend but i was checking in every few hours getting updates still. Finally she was through and she said that they called her defence the performance of the day. As i was talking to her on the phone, a collegue was showing me something on his monitor, explaining me some important changes to our project at hand and i sounded maybe a little disinterested in what she was saying for a moment i guess and she bursted saying wtf is wrong with you, won't you even say congratulations.. and stuff like that. And i said congratulations, sorry i am in the middle of two worlds right now, juggling too many things at the same time etc.. she wasn't having any of it. So i got frustrated. I didn't yell because i was with lots of people in a crowded place but my voice got thinner and emotional asking her what the hell does she want from me? Acting like i dont care about her success or i am against it or something which is not the case. She goes "nothing.. i don't want anything from you anymore" and closed the phone. I had to keep working on what i was doing, had no options but later on i contacted her she was answering with just a word or two. I was so busy i went home just to shower and change clothes maybe.. Then when it was finally over and i was home, she was acting like the relationship is falling apart. When i explained her that i have been celebrating, cheering her up, telling her that she made it, it is over... congratulations and that she picked on one moment to judge me for it while ignoring everything i did.. Then further down the line she accused me of hating her happiness and success. When i tried to explain that if that was the case why the fk would i help so much and try everything in my power to support her? her reaction was "you are almost about to say that you graduated instead of me.. yea you did it all!!".. This whole story is explaining only half of that situation and i have many many more such stories. Funny thing is she decided to break up, not me directly, i just didn't want to step back anymore and went along with it and the reason was not any of these but her betrayal with another. Meanwhile her youtube was recommending her videos about narcissism and other personality disorders.. When i asked her if she thinks that i am one, she was confused but said no. I doubt that she was figuring her own problem out but it is a possibility. I am still not sure if she was a borderline or narcissist.. also i dont exactly know if i am normal either. I deffinitely had my own mistakes but i cant clearly say if i have a serious personality disorder. Pfui.. a long one and i dont expect anyone to read it but it kinda felt good emptying my head here.. sorry for the novel.
@@tega3200 i tell the same to myself but, the same story would sound quite different if she was the one explaining it and blaming me for all these things. And some of the points she makes, even i do agree and apologize for. But nothing helps the situation.. It hurts so bad. What do i gain from knowing that the problem was her.. I loved her and spent long years together.. had hopes and dreams.. all i can do is keeping myself busy and trying to build myself back up. Just trying very hard to distract myself. I hope we will both heal one day and meet better people than eachother. Thank you for your kind wishes!
Well I hope your life has improved- if it hasn't yet, don't give up. Like anything worthwhile, this may require some time and metamorphosis. Pace yourself, you have loads of time.
It's has been 6 years since I awoke ,from the devalue/ discard and dealing with the pseudo mutuality family. I have seen my children turn against me as she used them as flying monkeys and enablers. Had a court consent order made, and we had to obey the rules. A narcissist has no boundaries. From 5a to 5e, you are not to say these things in front of the children.. I have no emotions left . I was once an empath, but now a depleted soul. Too trusting, but now a harden veteran . Read and have listened to the reason why. Hopefully, soon, I'll let go and move on. They say you should forgive. I m sure I'll never forget this unctuous rapacious machiavellian .
Great insights, especially the bit about creatives. I think, though, that grandiose narcs who are unaware of their flaws see all of these traits (not just vulnerable types) as weakneses, like they are inferior and socially unacceptable, and don't deserve their talents and need to be punished just for exhibiting a degree of self-confidence, because it's one's ability to display dominence that defines one's value in society. They think we have ulterior motives, and are competing with them out jealousy of their alpha status. There are niche sub-sectors of industries who attract both types, and younger people just entering these job markets are literally groomed to act this way; it's how they're trained to 'manage' nerds who can't hack it in a tough environment and taught to identify all the traits you just described and minimise (marginalise) their 'impact'.
My narc husband was over the top religious. Told me I was too dumb to have an opinion (I’m atheist) because of his abuse I refused to discuss a subject that turned into rage from him. I never pretended but I was rather noncommittal on the subject. Agreed to have our kids instructed, they all left religion as adults. I did nothing to influence them. He was an alcoholic and cheated because according to him I was frigid-I wouldn’t indulge his interest in performing pornography. None of this makes a lick of sense! After enduring for fifty years (there was reasons that I did) I’ve been widowed and I feel so at peace! Really……I could write a novel on my miserable marriage and I’m just now coming to the realization of what it was
Psalm 11 In the Lord I take refuge. How then can you say to me: “Flee like a bird to your mountain. For look, the wicked bend their bows; they set their arrows against the strings to shoot from the shadows at the upright in heart. When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?” The Lord is in his holy temple; the Lord is on his heavenly throne. He observes everyone on earth; his eyes examine them. The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion. On the wicked he will rain fiery coals and burning sulfur; a scorching wind will be their lot. For the Lord is righteous, he loves justice; the upright will see his face.
I can say that I've been ALL of these people, which leaves me with small circle of people in my life, who I can ACTUALLY TRUST. You know what? That's perfectly FINE by ME, if I can count how many people I trust on ONE HAND!! The more peace of mind I'M at, the better for MY well-being and self-care.
This was interesting. One weapon against the narcissist--humor. Ridiculing the absurdity of their lies, their inauthenticity, is a superpower that catches them off-guard.
Eventually, I had to leave the three social structures that have been defining me as a person for years: 1) The Family 2) Poland 3) The Catholic Church. I realized intuitively first and cognitively later that these three environments are brewing grounds for narcissism. Would you make a video about narcissism of social groups and organizations?
Watching your videos I'm always like yes! Omg. Mmhmmm. You got that right 😂 Thank you Danish! Your videos are keeping me sane🙏 My fiance is super supportive. He doesn't always fully understand though. He had a normal childhood. It's such a relief to hear from other survivors 🩷 Sometimes it's all so overwhelming. My body doesn't know what to do. Stuck. I don't want to be frozen anymore. I pray the fear will go away 🙏 Did I hear a cow? Moo 🐮 awww I love cows 🩷 I don't know what person I am in all of this. I'm just trying to learn as much as possible. Absorb some wisdom from people that aren't selfish. I learned all the wrong things growing up now It feels like i have to start from scratch. Every day I wish to learn something new ✨️ Oh yeah when I cried I got it worse. That always seemed to be her kryptonite 💥 I have to watch your videos a few times 😂 I miss bits that cow distracted me lmao
This is so true. I mentioned that I don't like drinking alcohol and all of a sudden he didn't like or needed to stop alcohol because of what I said not like alcohol right off the bat which throw me off. It didn't feel right.
So much of what you describe happened to me in my last marriage. It even resulted in my son alienating from me when he was an adolescent. I believe his narcissistic father was responsible for this. It was a hellish time. My son (now 45 and a father) and I have a relationship now, but I still don't know why he hated me so much back then. I also don't know why his father ended the marriage other than he didn't want to be married to me any longer. As you can see, no matter what I did, I was going to be the bad guy even without any explanation. I guess I never had the courage to pursue it.
I've learned the hard way to cut off the umbilical cord from my mother and her flying monkeys,my siblings. I am mourning the loss of my family, but I also know that this is part of my road to recovery. I'm 57 years old, and I know it is not too late for me to start living again like any other normal person. Thanks be to God!
Download Free Guide That Answers Top 10 Questions
emotionalabuserecovery.com/
🙏Grand Master Bashir🙏.
---------------------------------------------
It is not a spiritual thing.
It is organized crime and attemp on robbing ones freedom. THEFT.
It is scams, a bag of criminal shit. LIES. theft. stalking and harrasement.
Its phishing mailing.
Its robbery on peoples money. Its infiltration of peoples PRIVATE papers.
Its GPS. Its financiel criminal organized Bank scams.
Its directly, for POLICE-WORK 😁👮.
Have you noticed how when you start recording them the entity stops 😁 good way to protect yourself and calm things down and proves it's a spiritual thing. Thank you for your videos.
Video idea lol
Covertly record them I mean
THANK YOU brither, for your videos. I have written quite a long response to your video. It is therapeutic for me. Thank you
Along with bravery, they hate people who have boundaries that don't allow themselves to be manipulated or controlled.
it only sounds easy, but it’s not always very obvious. In my case, it was bread crumbing . Bit bit bit bit by bit, he was doing it in a very convoluted and manipulative way. He’s incredibly deceptive you will not always notice that you are controlled in my case. It took me 20 years to notice.
@JWSpencer-qj5jn Or if it's somebody who you would least expect, such as a family member. They could be manipulating you for years before you realize it.
I had business dealings with such a one…when I stood up for myself against extortion, I got a phone call from a trusted customer advising me that the scumbag was saying that I’m difficult to deal with….obviously to cover his own malicious behaviour…beware of those who throw stones, they are often distractions.
They love people who try to set boundaries but don’t stick to them. It’s like a hobby to knock them down and overstep.
@@BrainmusicBrain Exactly! Then they know they can easily manipulate you.
+
Narcissists hate those they cannot manipulate or control.
You're an outcast showing resistance you want your own head on your own shoulders!😊
Very true.. My experience is the same 😢😢
Perfect
@@therealaayan 🎯
I’m going through hell at work for this reason! Dude is a freaking jerk! And stupid and ignorant 😂
They want you to be insecure, because "Your insecurity IS their security "
Your insecurity is their security! Powerful ❤❤❤
Well said 👍❤❤❤
I wish I could love this comment a million times!!❤❤❤
" your insecurity is their security..." 😂😊😂😊!
They try to destroy your life with lies , because theirs can be destroyed with the truth .
Absolutely true!
Excellentely said ! And so true 👍 ❤❤❤
EXCELLENT ▶️👍
Completely agree. .
Exactly right wow! The deep deception is so destructive it’s the worst part. Lies destroy everything Honesty is the highest form of compassion.
"They like it when you are crying". I am not a cryer but my husband was so hurtful at one point I started to cry. He said "You should cry more". He LIKED it! I immediately stopped and never cried in front of him again and shortly after I divorced him.
👍👍
My dusty ass ex told me I looked pretty when I cried! Fucking lunatic!
But they also hate it. They will do their best to get you to cry but once you do then you have lost their little game. They look down on you even more from then on.
Before I met my narcissistic husband, I was such a happy person. I am an artist, I love to dance, I believe in people, I tell the truth, I had a soft heart. Basically, I see now that I was the embodiment of everything that he hated. So he married me and crushed me. Then he hated me more for being nothing. I have good husband now. My good husband was raised on a farm, and he knows that his job is to make things grow: water the crops, nurture and care for the livestock. He care and love brought be back to life.
Wow you sound just like me. I’m an artist and a former pro dancer.
Did you meet you current husband in a big city or where? And what type of place did you meet your ex narcissist husband?
Good you moved on hope I can too
Ahhhh, you helped me understand myself ( the soft tender free thinking artist) vs the legalistic system l came out of. Thank you. I am so happy that you have found real and joy. What a blessing. 💐❤️
I wish I could believe in the idea of a good man. After fifty years of mental and emotional abuse, I just can’t
U are a lucky person...
The people a narcissist hates the most are those they cannot control-those who see through the mask, who refuse to be manipulated, and who won’t bend to their twisted games. My wife, my mother-they are queens in their kingdoms of lies, lashing out when their power slips, hating anyone who dares to expose their darkness. I’ve been their target, the one who dared to look behind the façade, who saw the evil beneath the smiles. They fear me not because I’m weak, but because I’ve seen their truth and still choose to stand. Their hatred is their weakness, not mine. I am the mirror they can’t shatter, the light they can’t dim, the strength they never saw coming. And in that, I am their worst nightmare.
Amen 🙏🏻🙌🏻
Indeed
I don't care if I ever see them again
They are in my family n my workplace
Just to be in a room is a most disgusting thing the air is filled with a dark n unclean energy
Only God make me deal with these demonic hypocrites n devils
Amen to that brother. Narc mother here, narc father, narc ex wife. My ex wife even said it out loud ( I saved the email to show my children when they old enough) “I hate when I can’t control a situation and I hate your guts”. They often confess strangely enough when they realize you’ve caught on and won’t have any bs games! Like a little girl in woman’s body losing her possession…
Standing ovation 👏 👏👏
ABSOLUTELY. YOU ARE A WINNER! WE ARE ALL WITH YOU, AND PROUD OF YOU. A BETTER LIFE AWAITS THOSE WHO HAVE THEM ALL FIGURED OUT. NOW, WE CAN FIND AND BUILD THE LIFE WE DESERVE, FILLED WITH LOVE AND COMPASSION.
YES! The truth teller is always casted out!
I cannot believe it. I grew up in a severely narcissistic, sadistic family system. and they all ditch me because of all the 7 reasons that they hate me that you mentioned. Thank you so much for the clarification. Now I know I'm not in the wrong at all, In being the way I am.
💯🙏🏽💜 I’m realizing this recently too & all about what the family Scape Goat is. I wish you lots of Healing Kryssy.
👍
@@Wellness_Rose I'm glad I could help.
me2 ex family members staying no contact 4ever
@@nafeesakhan3504 I've actually learned to see the blessing in all of this. Think about it-after I dealt with the grief of losing them all, I realized that I could think with much more clarity. I was actually able to hear myself think, without ten million other voices in there. I found that I laughed a lot more. There's a whole lot more where that came from, but you get the idea.
Narcissists hate
1. Authentic people
2.Brave people
3.Big minded and visioner people
4.Truth tellers
5.people who are happy
6.Vulnerable people
7.Creative people
So true. They hate being caught in their game. Many young people are narcissistic
I wonder why.
D'accord. But i don't buy 6.
@@gerardomoonshine4984You are right. They easily become their victims.
@@gerardomoonshine4984they hate vulnerable people coz they only wanted themselves to be the center of attention when they play the victim they should only be the one who's vulnerability will be recognized the real victims hurt should be out of the picture. 🙏🙌💯
@@MaraiahRimando true, but this comes after one's vulnerability has been exploited by a narcissist. Anything can be undermined afterwards. Further, I would add that the narcissist seeks vulnerability above all else. The more, the better.
Last relationship, told him this. "Every conversation ends with you angry and me in tears." I became disinterested in apologies. Many of us have been through difficult times and didn't hurt others. Now, I find myself smiling again after a long time. Many blessings 🙌 🙏 ✨️ 💓
I can always connect to whatever you say. You are doing a great job brother
Isn't it wonderful finding others we are on the same wave length with!🎉
@@joseenoel8093 True
I am definitely the scapegoat of my family, they put me down anytime they can and copy what I do. When they see me crying (watching a sad movie for example they feel so uncomfortable because I show my vulnerability).
You are so spot on Bashir, as usual.
That's odd as all the narcissists I've know would be compemptuous if I cried and enjoyed my upset, or ignored me. They never were uncomfortable about their behaviour to me, the scapegoat or my brother, the golden child😢
Very true. A gifted, creative person is full of surprises for them, something totally out of their control...Thank you!
Not only creative in the usual ways such as playing a musical instrument, painting a picture or writing a poem but creative in choice of activities as they don't follow the crowd. They get off the treadmill when an activity they enjoy becomes a fad or their favourite holiday destination gets very popular.
This was a very well thought out, articulate and concise explanation of not only what a narcissist hates, but also a precise description of narcissism over all.
As always, the main focus encompasses all that a narcissist is devoid of; imagination, intuition and empathy. Point #7 expresses this clearly and intelligently.
👍🫶Hi Danish. This video is so on point. Narcissists don't want to see us succeed, so they try to sabotage our life at work, home, socially, anything to dull our shine. That's the very moment we shine more❣️. I'm glad I found your channel to make my life better by your good exlpanations of their nightmare brhavior. ✌️ Peace, love, MISS JANINE🆒️ ♏️ 🌹🦋
It's like, oh, don't U dare let your light shine. They will try to take U down. Like a snake in the grass!❤❤❤❤❤
We hope and pray to be abandoned by this demon !!
They hate talented people, any person who is better than them at anything.
My ex narcissist boyfriend LOVES talented people. He’s a talented actor and I’m a talented dancer. We met each other in our 20’s, while at the performing arts conservatory we studied at. Years later, now in our 40’s we started dating in January of this year. WORST relationship I’ve ever had! He was SO in love with himself and full of pride. Adult discussions with him **always** became blown out of proportion and went straight into yelling at me, shouting, and destructive arguments.
He is an insufferable man. A 45 year old CHILD who threw tantrums at me whenever I tried to calmly voice something he did that hurt me or that was bothering me. Just downright emotionally immature, abusive and unavailable.
Of course I was blamed for even voicing a concern because he believes he is nothing but an amazing person who can never do anything wrong.🙄
Yes
@@irinaivanovic9792 Competitors are maybe then a bit more rare for him versus for others narc people views. When somone has a high grandiosity and isolation in it, it is possible. Hating untalented is then enough.
Or he does not tell every envy, because it would let him look weak.
Other narcs are telling good about artists and whatever science 'stars', because it is a thing to look good educated, to know the art and genre and it is sometimes important for connections.
They are often so (for me too) nice to colleagues, to have a good standing, control. Played love...
Excellent. Im creative truth teller. At over 70. I just total ignore the narcissism in my husband do my own thing. Drive him crazy. But happiest I’ve been in the 50 yrs of trying to appease him. Just do what keeps me happy. Life left is too short to deal with his crazy.
Sharon, so it is possible to stay with your narcissist and make it work then?
Thank you- You May never know how much your insight has meant , Such a comfort ❤
After enduring unexplainable emotional trauma from an abusive relationship, I feel deeply disconnected from my true self. Although two years have passed with no contact, the scars remain. For five years, I focused on helping her become her best self, yet she relentlessly worked to sever my connection with who I truly am. It's not just the torment during those 4.5 years that hurts, but also the aftermath. The trauma she left behind is incomparable to the usual heartbreak-it's something that lingers, making it hard to trust again, or even to reconnect with myself. I wouldn’t want anyone to endure such a relationship, where the emotional damage stays long after the person is gone.
It takes a while to regain SOME of your essence . You have to realize you won't get it back the way you were. I realized this just this a.m. I will never be the brave roll off my back person I was . I will have some but to much damage was done . I think everybody has a agenda . That I'm not sure when or if it will ever go away. it takes time
Don't let the abuse of others take the core soul out of you. Is still there, just don't lose hope and keep fighting for yourself. It is a battle worth winning. Bless.
"A narcissist life is nothing but a big big lie. They live in an illusion, which is reinforced through their
delusions."-- Today, I got a perfect definition of a Narc. You just got a +1 sub.
I can think of a couple of TV Presenters who always appear totally fake to me and are probably Narcissists. Very interesting video.
You just explained my childhood and my entire life experiences. These videos you make are helping me a great deal. Ty
I'm 70 years old. And over the passed 15 years I notice the number of Narsasists is increasing in all communities
Many young people are narcissistic
The liberal schools make them narcissists. DemonKKKrats are pure evil. Always have been
Yes, "any amount I do is not enough" a famous statement
They do not carry a bowl in this life…..
they carry a sieve.
Never enough. No matter how much you pour into them, it’s never enough.
@@babetteshaw great way to put it! So true!👌👌👌
@@babetteshawoh so well put.😂
It's sort of ironic that narcissists sometimes say this as well. To them giving the bare minimum of respect to others is hard work. They actually think not abusing people is difficult and commendable.
This is all so true: stunning to see all this listed! Thank you so much, Danish! 💛
Thanks l now know why some people hate me and bully me at work because l hate injustice and inhumane actions lm always happy and always want to reach out and help people naturally shame on narcissists thanks so much Danish
Thank you. I have finally realized that my daughter is a narcissist. There was always termoil and always anger and always belittling of everyone. She always finds someone wrong and wants done only what she wants. She honestly has no friends. What a sad unhappy way to live. Thanks for your down to earth insight.
I know fully well one person that fits your description.Thank you for the very clear presentation
of the subject.
Now I have clear knowledge on how to deal with such personality.
I was the truth teller. You are correct. I am now all alone. But it's better than constant abuse and disrespect.
I wish I knew about this sooner. I've known some that did attack me for no reason and I learned to walk on eggshells for the rest of my life to avoid being a target. it was easier to surrender my own rights to avoid being fired upon by them. Now it makes sense. It's them, not me, wish I had that insight decades ago.
Thank you Darnesh, without your you tube videos I would not be alive. We have no effective mental health service here in Southampton England.
My Story.. For six months this year and two of last year, I went through a narcissistic relationship. The narcissist love-bombed me and fell in love with an interpretation of me. And that interpretation, she gaslighted me. She projected back onto me, saying that I fell in love with her ideal, but in fact, it was her all along. She made me feel guilty. We did many things in the love-bombing stage. We went to Edinburgh. We went to Venice. I was looking after the kids. And then around the middle of Venice, she started to discard me. And she was devaluing me, devaluing me slowly, making me doubt myself, doubt my feelings, doubt my understanding of her. She was telling me that I was fat. She was telling me that I was lazy. She was telling me that I was neglectful of her and all the things that she had in her mind. And meanwhile, I thought she was going nuts. I thought she was mentally sick. And I wasn't far wrong. I didn't know what narcissism was. By May, she rang me up one night to say good night. And I said, I'm not feeling very well. I told you not to speak to me like that. I said, I'm only telling you the truth, honey. I told you not to speak to me like that. She was so angry with me. She was devaluing me. She was making me doubt my own feelings of my own mental state. And I just was such an important issue. I was not well. And I then said to her, look, when you first met me, what was wrong with me? And she said, not much. And I said, okay, the second question, when will you tell me that I'm perfect? And she says, maybe never. So the issues that went through the narcissistic relationship were trust, and deflection, and projection, and abuse, and mental anguish, and all sorts of stuff that were just completely one-sided, unilateral. And there was no escaping it apart from just remaining silent. So I remained silent on the after the silent treatment that she gave me for a week, and the refusal to ever meet me again and discarded me.
I sent her a postbox with all the memorabilia that we had accumulated over our time, wrote definitions of love empathy apathy over the back of the photos and then she refused the delivery. I yesterday drove my car. For the first time in 25 years, I haven't driven a car. And I took the car to her house then dumped upside down the memorabilia of this box her doorstep. It went all over her recycling boxes for plastic, glass, and paper, and she had no other choice but to pick it up and physically discard the items in the bin herself. The silent treatment that I've now given her is a taste of her own medicine towards me, and she will have to live with it in her rubbish bin until the day the bin man comes to collect her rubbish..
Thank you for clarifing WHY the narcissistn dealt with me the way he did.
They hate me the most as I've dealt with and destroyed many narcissists.
Hate anyone who can see through their BS
Hate is putting it kindly. My narc mother loathes me. I honestly think she regrets giving birth to me. 🙊I’m done trying to have a relationship with her because it will never work given that I see through the BS. It’s a constant tug-of-war. all the others just go along but am no sheep 🐑
Could you please share how you destroyed the narcissists? I could use some tips.
@@rupanshidhruv Have enough strength and wisdom to call them out on their bullshit and refuse to tolerate it.
They'll then have a tantrum like a child and it's amusing to watch
You can never destroy them. That makes you as bad as them. You can only walk away from them and hope everyone else does as well.
What do you mean by “destroyed?” I get that narcissists are a tough enemy to love….
You make good points they hate you for being you I saw your checklist.
Danish, 😊although I already knew. I thank you for remainding me of the forces a narcissist can bring into a realationship. You are a real healer❤
I’m almost 50, single dude, never married but lots of past gfs, no kids because I was careful and never wanted any. This guy at my work (with 5 kids 😂) has treated me like garbage since his first day for 2 years now. Only reason I can think of is he’s jealous of my perceived life! Little does he know I have a family that I support (elderly mother/2 nieces). I’ll never tell him that though. I’ve found it so strange that he copies my behavior towards people I genuinely care for at work. I’ve also seen his real self, and those people have asked me “what’s his problem?”
They do that if married and their targets are single. I was on day release to college and one of my classmates boasted about her married life saying she and hubby would meet up with his nieces and nephews outside of work and college and hinted that us single people had no social life or hobbies.
I replied that I had a life too as I had friends I hung out with frequently and I belonged to a walking and youth hostelling group. I and a few work college had been to a music festival at the previous bank holuday weekend. She was lost for words after that. Some women don't know how to have a social life or hobbies outside of husbands or boyfriends. But many singles do. We attend church, volunteer, go out into the countryside at the weekend or go to the cinema or theatre.
He is miserable.
The authentic self is a being of love and truth.
"you're too sensitive...now listen to my problems...." - my mother
I’m the one who stopped playing his petty games & detached myself from the foolishness!
Ditto! The Narc mother and her enmeshed children/my siblings can take the games elsewhere. At 47, am done playing along.🙄
How do we stop playing? They keep provoking reactions. Could you share some tips?
@@rupanshidhruvemotional detachment and being a grey rock
@@minilevi8465 thanks 🙌
@@rupanshidhruv figure out how to excuse yourself from the conversation…learn how to block out negativity by thinking of pleasant things! I have mastered the art of detachment but it took practice…hang on in there, u can do it… I did!
This describes the dynamics of my workplace. I have experienced & healed from a narcissistic romantic relationship. In this workplace, i am seeing it so clearly & getting out ASAP. Much of my healing was energetic through the Angelic Realms....but your concise videos helped with the words so i could identify it....& keep myself safe until I can get out.
It seems I live in a city full of narcissists even if they aren't actually narcissist or sociopathic. It's all they know from their parents, their school, their church, their place of work or the mainstream media so they know no other way of behaving or treating other people. They treat other people like they are objects. Nussbaum broke down several ways people do this. Treating other people as all the same and that they are interchangeable.
Finding out about narcissism, sociopaths, objectification and boundaries woke me up to how I had been treated and why I felt uncomfortable with it. I thought it was just me not being happy with it.
Thanks to all this information I was then able to openly question it instead of forcing myself to go along with it or making excuses not to.
I’d say I’m all of them I know how to be authentic, brave, big minded, visionary, independent, truth telling , happy, vulnerable if it equates to brutal emotional honesty and creative I’m autistic hi I like Silver the Hedgehog his colors are awesome I do get creative in a way that neurotypicals look over. Thank you for the video.
You are the providence sent light of my decades long narc abused living 🙏👍
I have a 7:17 small home but I saved and watch every penny to pay for it. I had a friend who visited recently and I could see that jealousy. She went over every reason she didn't have a home. I felt her getting more angry and the criticism started. She doesn't have a home because she bought cars that cost 50 k more times than I know. Believe me im not going around her again
I feel you oh yes I do I have a narsasitic 40 year old granddaughter with 3 kids who told me she Is a protected child of god and dosent have to work,but hopes to plant her ass in my house after I drop of my purge NO WAY I SAY ! but ask me why not because her father has a house her aunt has a house why can't she have .my house one day.that to me is not happening she is also a user of drugs she never worked a day in her life and survived on social security,she is a liar never admits to anything nothing is ever her fault and menipulater and narsasit I wanted to love her but I'm all used up and can't give her what I dont have anymore because I can't trust her anymore it's sad but true.😢
I remember when I became engaged to be married and my Narcissist Mother said " don't think your Marriage will be a bed of roses" I'm still happily Married (36 years) 1-0 🤣
Yes it's hard work thinking they have the right to control another person and finding they can't. So narcissists and their spouses have miserable marriages. They treat their friends, siblings and children in the same way or try to.
@@lemsip207 exactly this! Apart from my Brother was the apple of her eye, funny how he’s on his third Marriage now 😂
All the videos I watch on narcissism are about my life. I have all the traits you have mentioned in this video. All the people around me were narcissists except for my wife and perhaps my father, but he was an enabler. My entire life I have been positioned as the least important person in my family and my circles. Now I am on top. I had to go NO-CONTACT with everybody to accomplish it. My emigration to the United States helped a lot. I subscribed to this channel.
My mother would smile when I would cry. Whenever I was genuinely happy she would tear me down somehow- a sly remark- always passive aggressively though.
She truly hates me. 2.75 years no contact and she could care less.
Absolutely true...Same suffering from last twenty four years...
This is very good. I am with a twin soul and he is a narcissist and a gaslighter.I didn't even know what was happening to me til I learned from you lovely people what a narcissist IS!!!❤thankyou for teaching me.I have to take the learning slowly as it hits hard.
They love to try dumping their negative guilt on others to make themselves feel better! DONT ALLOW THEM TO DUMP ON YOU!
4,5,6 is what I’m facing right now. Exactly the same. I feel like you are peeking into my life and seeing everything what’s going on and doing a video lol😅thanks Danish. You brought peace to my life by telling reality about narcissism and their victims
Having gratitude towards well wishers 🤝
Dude, this video is scary accurate. I have discussed ALL the same things regarding narcissistic familys/ people
Ημουν .....ναι ευτυχως ΗΜΟΥΝ με ενα τερας σαν αυτον. Εζησα μια κολαση μαζι του,εχασα τον εαυτο μου,ομως με πιστη,ελπιδα,αγαπη,αγαπη για ζωη τα καταφερα και ΕΣΩΣΑτον εαυτο μου.Πολυτιμα ολα οσα ανεφερες,μαθαινω καθε ημερα να ειμαι ευγνωμων για τη δευτερη ευκαιρια που μου εδωσε η ζωη,εστω και τωρα. Ειμαι 60 ετων και προχωρω ,μη παραιτειστε φιλοι μου!!!!
A narcissist partner may deeply hate you but still want sex with you if they have no other supply. So crazy it feels like a 1 night stand it’s just impersonal and robot like it’s scary after years and years. I cannot wait to leave that is my goal. Wish I could think of things that matter instead of his bullshit!
I had to watch this twice. Im acreative and you have again ticked all myboxes and given me deeper understanding of my life. God bless you all ways always ❤
Some kind of relief after your every episode..Thks from bottom Danish..
I am totally the first type....and the reactions in my life make perfect sense.
....and aspects of the other types. They all boil down to authenticity, which ultimately is the courage to live a truthful life.
I came to understand that all the folks who hate me are narcs, but it also meant I was a self made victim all this time because I let them in my life thinking it was my idea, but I know now that I was tricked. well I feel better today because now I do make my own choices and therefore have only myself to blame from this point on.
Not at all; you are not to blame. Now is a time of learning, healing and getting/keeping them out of our lives. They see us coming. They use and abuse us in such subtle ways at first we don't even feel it until they beat us down. heal, my friend
@@elizabethtowers3321 thank you.
They visibly are energized when they see a crack that they can prey upon to make you miserable. Set boundaries, don't bend. They see you bending your boundaries as a way to harm you and gloat. It's creepy to see once you are healing. Stay objective not emotional. It's your shield.
Wow, am 71 & this is my ex (15) years with him & my g/ friend & youger sister & daughter. I know you may think not possable but these are all behaviours of theirs. They don't like the word 'no', I disagree, 'that doesn't make sense,' 'but that's not logical'. I got like you said, everything you said is 100 per cent so liberating. Now when I look at them they can see in my eyes that I now see who they are & try love bombing . I own my brain now, wow thx soooo much
thank you
Danish, you are amazing! I coexist in a family of both men and women who function on the ASPD spectrum; often I feel overwhelmed that intelligent people could be so flawed. Therefore you are my blessed alter ego. I have 3 degrees including the PhD in psychology and counseling, and although I recognize the textbook characteristics in my family members' behavior, their intentionally disruptive behavior and games are exhausting. I am impelled to speak my mind, because I agree with you that these destructive souls are riddled with demons. I worry "about and for" them, because they are deeply in denial, and do their best to cause me grief. I worry because I do not see that God gives sociopaths a pass in scripture, even though they are likely struggling with inherited predispositions. So, thank you very much for the service that you are providing. I particularly appreciate your touching on the spiritual dimension in some of your presentations, because I do not believe those who manifest antisocial personality disorder can be cleansed until they deal with their spiritual liabilities; this is a wicked and depraved disorder. Your presentations are unique, because you touch on the spiritual dimension. Please continue to do that.
This is one of the best videos on narcissism, concise and to the point. I'm going to have to rewatch this several times, there is so much great information. I have a narc friend. The Narc friend has put down boundaries many times over the years, I recently put down a boundary (the first time) and I was ghosted. Now I realize that as long as I played the game of her "fantasy" I was ok but the minute I said no to the fantasy that was it. Her fantasy is being overly religious. Imagine that... a narcissist drawn to the illusion of religion to provide a protective fantasy about who they really are. Do you know a religious zealot that is a narcissist? I've known many.
Their false self is a sunk cost. They've invested their lives in an illusion, in lies about themselves, and they will never admit it.
We really thank God for technology. Seniors like mev are learning so much about people around us. Before l have to be with them, live with them & then l know their character. Fortunately l was lucky. Haven't encountered a Narsissist except an advocate & solicitor. Her karma isn't good either. But l responded her & left my association with her, never to see her again.
I/ we have All of them! No wonder my son and his wife hate us!🤷🏼♀️ at this point, I feel sorry for them and my grandchildren, but I won’t tolerate any of their games and disrespect! Their loss! I’m at peace😊
Iam a bit of all you mention but as a specialist you will also know that the scapegoat is the worst victim in a narcissist relationship even if is your family and not your partner my God have mercy all of them are narcissists and thanks to you and another doctors I have figured out that for 50 years my suffering was not an illusion but a lack of understanding and all the abuse I received God willingly is going to go away because when I make my move is going to be life my choices with the lord HalleluYah and my healing in Christ I need severe healing my Yeshua save my life from the pit of damnation make me worth to stand victorious in thy name amen 🙏 HalleluYah thank you for sharing
Thank you for ding so many videos. When a person is whittled down a little mouthful of medicine often is better. Go well.
i told a narc that i spent the morning making banana bread from two black bananas. they spent the next several minutes in a loud voice telling me where to find and obtain over ripe bananas, as if I didn't already finish making the banana bread...as if I asked them where to find bananas, and as if it isn't the most easy thing in the world to get bananas and let them ripen. it was completely bizarre
I only just found out my mother is a narcissist about a month ago. One of the worst moments of my life, the loss of my child(32 weeks gestation, i was induced into labor because of a mirror effect from translocation), my mother was completely unable to be emotionally available for me, and forced me to go to therapy DAYS after she had died. On the way to therapy, i had mentioned that i didn't feel like i could go to therapy, i didnt feel like i could talk about it to strangers. She stopped the car and yelled at me, told me i was being childish and selfish. That was one of the most telling moments in my life that my mother was a narcissist, and i still hadn't a clue because i wanted to believe she cared for me. My mother made my daughters death all about her own grief, and deflected all of mine. I remember that when my daughter was born, i allowed my mother to be in the room during the process of her birth, she acted as if she were faint and fell over into a chair dramatically, because even then in that moment she couldnt stand not being at the center of attention. I am so disgusted when i look back at this particular moment of my life with the experience of having a narcissistic mother.
This sounds like my mother and her antics when I had cancer. I beat it quick but she made it pure heck. Their yelling is out of control.
@jacquelineglitter4328 i am so genuinely sorry that you had to go through this. We deserve love from our mothers and nothing else. The fact that this was not the case in one of the hardest times in your life is not fair. At all. I send you healing hugs.
i am the one who became a shell of himself.. after 10 years of not noticing who i was with.. I was as resiliant of a person as you can imagine and these days i am trying to figure out wtf is wrong with me, what i did wrong, what could i do differently.. etc. trying to figure out if i am a narcissist. Heavy depression, self doubt, insecurity.. you name it. No matter how hard i tried, she always found something to put me down or keep me on my toes. She was pretty much waiting for a special day like birthday, graduation etc.. and no matter how much effort you show, she could start a fight out of thin air, picking on tone of my voice even. Double standards, silent treatments, completely ignoring, punishing.. Betrayal, lies.. The whole love bombing and the following phases.. hating herself, openly saying things like "our dna should end.. my entire family is fked up.." bc of how they fight over money, how everyone is betraying their partners.. and 2 minutes later she would be saying i blame her for everything, that i hate her etc.. Imagine the situation, she is freaking out writing her diploma thesis and she is stuck.. confused etc.. I pick on the task and to be able to help, first i learned the whole scientific methodology subject. Then i looked the one she picked for her thesis and started analyzing what she did so far. I found many mistakes and stuff that doesn't match her selected methodology. I explained it all to her and showed her what we need to change, add.. etc. I put her to work on it and next day she is lost again.. I check what she did and put her back on track explaining the whole thing and helping with the content. This went for a while and before uploading it, i convinced her to send it to her mentour one last time for a feedback. Feedback was awesome with only a few very minor details to be considered. We fix that and again before uploading i convinced her to send it to her mentour again. Because she was so stressed and i wanted to make sure she wont freak out while waiting the result. She was so insecure but we sent it again and this time it was all good. Then she delivered it officially and i was so happy, thinking she is finally going to relax. I was celebrating that she is graduating. But no, she didnt relax and kept acting the same. Then she got 95 out of 100... I was truly celebrating this time even more than before (because she made me a miserable person and i kept thinking it is because this stress or that problem and if we can get over it she will be fine after.. ). Nope she was still the same now worrying about the oral exam, defending her thesis. Same cycle went on until that day she had her final step, defending her thesis. Meanwhile i was in an extremely stressfull situation elsewhere, couldnt attend but i was checking in every few hours getting updates still. Finally she was through and she said that they called her defence the performance of the day. As i was talking to her on the phone, a collegue was showing me something on his monitor, explaining me some important changes to our project at hand and i sounded maybe a little disinterested in what she was saying for a moment i guess and she bursted saying wtf is wrong with you, won't you even say congratulations.. and stuff like that. And i said congratulations, sorry i am in the middle of two worlds right now, juggling too many things at the same time etc.. she wasn't having any of it. So i got frustrated. I didn't yell because i was with lots of people in a crowded place but my voice got thinner and emotional asking her what the hell does she want from me? Acting like i dont care about her success or i am against it or something which is not the case. She goes "nothing.. i don't want anything from you anymore" and closed the phone. I had to keep working on what i was doing, had no options but later on i contacted her she was answering with just a word or two. I was so busy i went home just to shower and change clothes maybe.. Then when it was finally over and i was home, she was acting like the relationship is falling apart. When i explained her that i have been celebrating, cheering her up, telling her that she made it, it is over... congratulations and that she picked on one moment to judge me for it while ignoring everything i did.. Then further down the line she accused me of hating her happiness and success. When i tried to explain that if that was the case why the fk would i help so much and try everything in my power to support her? her reaction was "you are almost about to say that you graduated instead of me.. yea you did it all!!".. This whole story is explaining only half of that situation and i have many many more such stories. Funny thing is she decided to break up, not me directly, i just didn't want to step back anymore and went along with it and the reason was not any of these but her betrayal with another. Meanwhile her youtube was recommending her videos about narcissism and other personality disorders.. When i asked her if she thinks that i am one, she was confused but said no. I doubt that she was figuring her own problem out but it is a possibility. I am still not sure if she was a borderline or narcissist.. also i dont exactly know if i am normal either. I deffinitely had my own mistakes but i cant clearly say if i have a serious personality disorder. Pfui.. a long one and i dont expect anyone to read it but it kinda felt good emptying my head here.. sorry for the novel.
I read every word, and it's clear you're not the problem... I pray you heal and find someone who appreciates your kind heart. Best wishes! 🙂
@@tega3200 i tell the same to myself but, the same story would sound quite different if she was the one explaining it and blaming me for all these things. And some of the points she makes, even i do agree and apologize for. But nothing helps the situation.. It hurts so bad. What do i gain from knowing that the problem was her.. I loved her and spent long years together.. had hopes and dreams.. all i can do is keeping myself busy and trying to build myself back up. Just trying very hard to distract myself. I hope we will both heal one day and meet better people than eachother. Thank you for your kind wishes!
Well I hope your life has improved- if it hasn't yet, don't give up. Like anything worthwhile, this may require some time and metamorphosis. Pace yourself, you have loads of time.
It's has been 6 years since I awoke ,from the devalue/ discard and dealing with the pseudo mutuality family.
I have seen my children turn against me as she used them as flying monkeys and enablers.
Had a court consent order made, and we had to obey the rules. A narcissist has no boundaries.
From 5a to 5e, you are not to say these things in front of the children..
I have no emotions left . I was once an empath, but now a depleted soul. Too trusting, but now a harden veteran .
Read and have listened to the reason why.
Hopefully, soon, I'll let go and move on. They say you should forgive. I m sure I'll never forget this unctuous rapacious machiavellian .
Great insights, especially the bit about creatives. I think, though, that grandiose narcs who are unaware of their flaws see all of these traits (not just vulnerable types) as weakneses, like they are inferior and socially unacceptable, and don't deserve their talents and need to be punished just for exhibiting a degree of self-confidence, because it's one's ability to display dominence that defines one's value in society. They think we have ulterior motives, and are competing with them out jealousy of their alpha status. There are niche sub-sectors of industries who attract both types, and younger people just entering these job markets are literally groomed to act this way; it's how they're trained to 'manage' nerds who can't hack it in a tough environment and taught to identify all the traits you just described and minimise (marginalise) their 'impact'.
My brother is a narcissist and my biggest regret in life is not leaving as soon as I turned 18 to get away from him.
My narc husband was over the top religious. Told me I was too dumb to have an opinion (I’m atheist) because of his abuse I refused to discuss a subject that turned into rage from him. I never pretended but I was rather noncommittal on the subject. Agreed to have our kids instructed, they all left religion as adults. I did nothing to influence them. He was an alcoholic and cheated because according to him I was frigid-I wouldn’t indulge his interest in performing pornography. None of this makes a lick of sense! After enduring for fifty years (there was reasons that I did) I’ve been widowed and I feel so at peace! Really……I could write a novel on my miserable marriage and I’m just now coming to the realization of what it was
Psalm 11
In the Lord I take refuge.
How then can you say to me:
“Flee like a bird to your mountain.
For look, the wicked bend their bows;
they set their arrows against the strings
to shoot from the shadows
at the upright in heart.
When the foundations are being destroyed,
what can the righteous do?”
The Lord is in his holy temple;
the Lord is on his heavenly throne.
He observes everyone on earth;
his eyes examine them.
The Lord examines the righteous,
but the wicked, those who love violence,
he hates with a passion.
On the wicked he will rain
fiery coals and burning sulfur;
a scorching wind will be their lot.
For the Lord is righteous,
he loves justice;
the upright will see his face.
Authentic can’t stand fake
First comment danish 🎉 u r saviour for most 😊
I can say that I've been ALL of these people, which leaves me with small circle of people in my life, who I can ACTUALLY TRUST. You know what? That's perfectly FINE by ME, if I can count how many people I trust on ONE HAND!! The more peace of mind I'M at, the better for MY well-being and self-care.
I spotted a narcissist at the library. He took his girl and left when I sat down. Narcissists hate me and I hate them back.
Great vid, straight to the point and easy to follow. Thank you. Subscribed 👍🏼
This was interesting. One weapon against the narcissist--humor. Ridiculing the absurdity of their lies, their inauthenticity, is a superpower that catches them off-guard.
I found my comment thank you I just love your channel every time I fix myself look prettier feel prettier he just hates it.
I’m all of these lol no wonder narcs hate me 😅
I was thinking the same thing: story of my life!
Yes , me too .
Good for you! Me too!!!
Amazingly well expressed. I don't need to add much cause you've said it all 😎. Thanks for making the video
They hate u when they realized that I cannot be manipulated.
Thank you for sharing about narcissist,all those you've shared are true.
Wow great video Danish! I have all of those qualities. No wonder my parents hate me. 😂
It was living in an environment of constant disapproval.
Yes
Eventually, I had to leave the three social structures that have been defining me as a person for years: 1) The Family 2) Poland 3) The Catholic Church. I realized intuitively first and cognitively later that these three environments are brewing grounds for narcissism. Would you make a video about narcissism of social groups and organizations?
He should also about problems c
Feminism bring on men since it started false aligations misandry every thing that's narcissistic too
Nailed it 🎯
Watching your videos I'm always like yes! Omg. Mmhmmm. You got that right 😂 Thank you Danish! Your videos are keeping me sane🙏 My fiance is super supportive. He doesn't always fully understand though. He had a normal childhood. It's such a relief to hear from other survivors 🩷 Sometimes it's all so overwhelming. My body doesn't know what to do. Stuck. I don't want to be frozen anymore. I pray the fear will go away 🙏
Did I hear a cow? Moo 🐮 awww I love cows 🩷
I don't know what person I am in all of this. I'm just trying to learn as much as possible. Absorb some wisdom from people that aren't selfish. I learned all the wrong things growing up now It feels like i have to start from scratch. Every day I wish to learn something new ✨️
Oh yeah when I cried I got it worse. That always seemed to be her kryptonite 💥 I have to watch your videos a few times 😂 I miss bits that cow distracted me lmao
This is so true. I mentioned that I don't like drinking alcohol and all of a sudden he didn't like or needed to stop alcohol because of what I said not like alcohol right off the bat which throw me off. It didn't feel right.
Your videos help me greatly
Some narcissists physically and or verbally abuse you for your opinions or just for confronting them about what they did wrong or in an argument.
So much of what you describe happened to me in my last marriage. It even resulted in my son alienating from me when he was an adolescent. I believe his narcissistic father was responsible for this. It was a hellish time. My son (now 45 and a father) and I have a relationship now, but I still don't know why he hated me so much back then. I also don't know why his father ended the marriage other than he didn't want to be married to me any longer. As you can see, no matter what I did, I was going to be the bad guy even without any explanation. I guess I never had the courage to pursue it.
I've learned the hard way to cut off the umbilical cord from my mother and her flying monkeys,my siblings. I am mourning the loss of my family, but I also know that this is part of my road to recovery. I'm 57 years old, and I know it is not too late for me to start living again like any other normal person. Thanks be to God!