I married two of them, (not at the same time) and they both cheated, lied and stole from me. They both left me for a beautiful blond. They are dead now, but lived with these women for years before they died. I don't know how happy the blonds were, but they stayed. We want to think they are unhappy and that they will pay for their sins, but that is not always the case. I see other narcissists that get what they want and are happy as little clams. We can't care about that, only about ourselves.
Reverse psychology is absolutely the best strategy. I used to act very sad around my ex narc but, inside I was extremely elated because as long as I acted sad, he would leave me alone.
It sucks that we have to be manipulative to be able to manage life with a narc…once we escape I hope and pray we recognize these personalities so we never have to “go there “ with anyone ever again
Sad but true , this is exactly how I safely got out my narcissistic marriage. You have to be strategic. After 3 years I understood how his (sick) mind works. Using logic, expecting compassion or accountability - doesn't work with these people. Thank you Danish for your always great insight and advice.
Don't apologise, what you said is extremely valuable. We rob narcissist's of any payoff when we don't react to them. Too many people get sucked into "standing up for themselves" & "asserting their boundaries" constantly in the hope of better treatment, but narcissist's love nothing more than to steamroll over us at any opportunity & will never raise their standards of decency.
You're not exerting energy on them, you're exerting energy on protecting yourself from the damage they could cause. Self-preservation is a part of abuse recovery, you eventually get to a point where you can make a clean break
Trust your gut. That knot that you always have in the pit of your stomach. The overthinking you have to do about every conversation or interaction. The thinking through how you’re going to have a conversation to get them to notice you or understand you… All of it is not normal. They will tell you that you’re overreacting or dramatic. They will tell you that you’re being overly sensitive… But you’re spot on. Give yourself time to analyze and unpack the turmoil/living hell you lived in, but don’t live in the analyzing . I continued, and still continue, to realize… Oh… So this was all part of the narcissism too… it is so deep and sick that you could spend the rest of your life analyzing and unpacking it. You have to give your thinking some boundaries. I actually had to set a timer and tell myself… OK you get an hour to think about this today and then you’re doing what is on your agenda. Oh… and… make yourself an agenda or list and DO IT …. Sometimes I had to force myself just to brush my teeth and get a shower… But you must stick to some sort of schedule. Forgive yourself for being vulnerable. I couldn’t get over the 23 years I had wasted. I couldn’t stop beating myself up for not being smarter and stronger quicker. I had to remind myself that I was the perfect match. As an only child of older parents, I was younger when they died and I had no family. His family became my family and he knew he had me. I had to remember my intentions were good and decent and God will honor what I did. I wanted to keep the family together and believe that no one could be as evil as his actions were showing me. Make safe changes. You don’t want to make big changes like changing jobs or moving across the country, although there are people that have no choice and have to do this. But make small changes like your hair color. Drive a different way to work. Wear a different style. As much as possible… spoil yourself. Do what you need to make yourself feel pretty or handsome. Order the decadent chocolate cake. Never feel ashamed. I remember that some people treated me like I was that homeless person that they felt sorry for but if they didn’t look it would all go away. I was embarrassed and ashamed. The beautiful part about it is I found out who really does care about me. You don’t have to have a lot of blood relatives to have family. You will find the people that mean the most; There will be loyal friends who you can let yourself be raw with… let it happen. Do no start looking for a relationship! I initially remember feeling as though I had to go out with people to feel desirable and flattered. I was in no way ready to be a partner to anyone until I could tell myself “You still got it girl!” and really believe it. NEVER look back or second guess yourself! It will never get better if you go back. And they will try to get you back. There’s never break up with a narcissist. As long as you allow it, they will continually try to get in touch with you and lead up to begging you to come back. It feels flattering but it is empty and meaningless. My ex-husband who ended up with a very young girl who has emotional and mental problems (I was her mentor in our church) has recently tried to ask me to give him just “one more chance” 5 days after the girl broke up with him. Every single time he did this In the past, The forgive me speech and crying was the same and his behavior was even worse with each time I went back. This is an addiction for you.. not love and addiction is hard to kick. Speaking of addiction… be careful not to pick up any others … pills, alcohol, shopping Train your thoughts. Don’t let the tail wag the dog. When you start to go down that path of negative thoughts and telling yourself life is going to be forever gloom and doom, remember that being apart from this monster is THE BEGINNING of a new life and the pain will lift. You were more alone and in danger with them than away from them. That’s it… buoy…. Ya! Take care of yourself. This healing needs all the healthy habits you can muster. When you’re feeling as though you’re having a strong moment, and you will see a pattern of times that you feel a bit stronger, pre-plan meals so that when you’re feeling really bad all you have to do is get in the refrigerator and heat something up. Put toothpaste on the brush so all you have to do is pick it up. Take melatonin to get rest. Take vitamins/supplements. NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT…. Forever… you are doing this to heal not to get a reaction out of them or try to get them to love you. Keep talking to other survivors and remember that you are just that… A SURVIVOR. There will come a day that you will be helping others. Never feel bad for them. My ex-husband‘s mask has finally come off and he can’t keep the façade up anymore. It is pathetic. My adult children know not to discuss what is going on with him with me and I don’t ask. Don’t ask!!! They will look for every opportunity to tug on your heartstrings. Don’t wallow in thinking they are happy. They are desperately unhappy. They will never be happy and will delight in any weakness they see in you, so again…. ZERO ZILCH CONTACT or GRAY ROCK flat, noncommittal tone with as few words as possible. Count your blessings I remember looking at everybody around me and thinking how happy and lucky everybody else looked. Everybody has stuff going on. Yours is just super big at the moment. So look for blessings . I thanked God for little things that weren’t so little… a job close to home, my frig worked, I didn’t catch a cold from my first grade class (again.. take care of yourself). Some days it seemed ludicrous that there was a blessing, but sometimes the blessings were the things God Prevented from happening. Keep track of your progress. Three years away from my husband, looking back at my journey, I cannot believe how far God has brought me. You will be a new, better version of you if you don’t let the tail wag the dog. Knowledge is power. Read everything you can about this but again… Set boundaries for yourself… don’t stay stuck Boundaries boundaries boundaries I started to realize that I didn’t have boundaries set for myself at all. It was easy for people to tell me the way it was going to be and just assume that it would just be that way without me standing up for myself. Find confidence in putting your needs and emotional health first. You are not being selfish. Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyHub@gmail. com.
my husband before marriage used to talk like he is the most loving person in the world. but after marriage he tortured me, he abused me, used very very filthy and abusive language day and night every sec of my life. he degraded me, devalued me, discouraged me, time to time he made me believe that I'm nothing and i will not be able to live independently. He made me believe that I'm capable of nothing but once I came out of this toxic relation and I'm now independent and successful. I used to pray God to make my husband my strength, but God made be stronger. God made me independent.
Don't, this is not a job, because if you failed the test or made any mistake then consequences of your actions will be even more dangerous then you think
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail . com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
Give them as little information as humanly possible. If possible, don't interact with them at all. Block them all over social media and continue to make progress in life. Remember it's growth and progress that truly hurts them. One day, they should see you have prospered so much without them, they should know they can't use you anymore and can't silence you anymore.
Sometimes when I find a person is playing me, manipulating me, I get angry that they are taking advantage of my goodness,so, now I don’t feel one bit bad about playing games back in order to keep them off my track..
This is my uncle. The most evil man I know. Backbites and gossips everyone else. But praises himself and exaggerates his own achievements. He lies and manipulates. Gets glee when others have bad news or bad things in their life. Extremely arrogant. Now after years of failures in life and narcisstic injury he has finally gone quiet into a miserable depression
Each time someone resorts to manipulation in order to stay alive and then congratulates themselves about how that is evidence that they are smarter and wiser than people who do not they have taken one step towards becoming narcissistic.
@@keithstewart7514 it´s very interesting to see, how strongly religious people are often the worst abusers. The worst part is, they don´t even have to be narcissists...
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
Absolutely! The narc back in my life, used to treat me shit like when they got bored. Started to devalue n discarded me time n time. Later when I discarded that narcissist, he bounced back n started showing up in my workplace and blowing up my phone. Saying he loves me n never wanna lose me! Can't live without me n stuff. Like hell, I realised my worth finally n discarded him permanently from my life. He can go to hell where that bird belongs!
It’s hard to be so dishonest but we have to preserve our life. I’m suffering from a debilitating chronic illness from childhood trauma and then being with people like this. I will escape as soon as I can. My body and mind come first now.
Sending healing hugs and thoughts your way. I'm in a similar situation. Survival, first,, healing,, then escape. My condition is because he delayed life-saving surgeries that caused too much damage to my body. I will be in debilitating pain for the rest of my life and greatly diminished. He takes no blame and shows no remorse. I've almost died at his hands several times. He always claims ignorance,, hard to believe he's that stupid when he's so smart in other areas of his life. I now believe that he wanted me to di* because who can keep repeating the same mistakes over & over and not learn from them? Same goes for me. I keep thinking I must be insane to keep believing that he truly did not do it deliberately. Survival, first- then no contact. It's the only way. Good luck!
I recently talked him into going to oregon to improve on property he has there. I said I'll take care of the home front, you just go and enjoy yourself. He tries to torture me from afar, but can't, it's wonderful!!! By the time he returns, I just may have enough to escape. If not, I'll just keep sending him away, something he loves to do - - - leave.
I gave the ex-narc groomer the impression that I was sinking into depression, killed myself and disappeared. Actually, I am living a whole new life outside the industry they think I was in.
You know what, I did all of these things and trust me it works like magic to your benefit. If you want to imagine my overall thought process then trust me I used to be as simple as a cow while thinking about other's well being. Then I was given an option by the almighty either to leave that monster or die caged. And guys you wont believe, but my mind automatically worked just like what Danish said, I did not intend to harm him but had to save myself. And now here I am, busy being "the sun" of my life.
@DivineSparkle-cgsgagcg Just bhebe cholte hoye ki aami jodi eta kori toh otaar ki reaction debe taara...oder mood bhalo dekhe oder trust gain kore then finally shheta korte hoye, ja actually plan korechi. Its tricky, but that's the only way.
I've even lost the ability to express what i feel at this point. Don't wanna talk about the narcissistic abuse even to my own self. Lost my health, my beauty, my talent, the narcissist just broke my soul. I'm really happy for the people who got out of this situation, but me . I'm Suffocating. Can't comprehend.
You’re not alone. ‘Passion and dedication’ …. Just as your name says here, keep at it, hang in there….. I go outside and place my hands in the dirt and walk with my feet on the ground. Take in the warmth of the first sunshine in the morning, keep your body and head towards the light…. ❤ will guide you back to your authentic self. You’re not alone…..
I succeeded n he's been out of my life for 8 yrs now....lying n manipulation was the ONLY thing that worked. There was a child involved n I had to do WHATEVER it took to protect my son. I got my life back 10 fold n am doing better NOW than ever in my past.
I'm currently in the similar situation. I wanted to take his for child support but my family tells me to wait to I'll move out of the state. Do you have any advice on how to proceed in this matter?
You are right, I’ve had to reach into myself & fight fire with fire. I truly wondered throughout the relationship if I was the narcissist because I was in the midst of battle and was fighting for my sanity. I’ve done this drip feed whilst not knowing what I was consciously doing.
If you suspect someone is a narcissist, lie to them, appeal to their ego and act a lot more invested than you really are. If they bring up these lies in future conversation after a disagreement (doesn't matter what kind of disagreement it is) hoping to shit on them, you've got them in your trap already because they think they are hurting feelings that aren't there and they think it's going to give them leverage. You can keep on acting like you are offended/hurt if you're amused by seeing how far people will go Or you can strip away their fake personality, reduce them to what they are. 'Nothing but a narcissist' and watch them get upset or call you the same thing. Because if attacking and dismissing people doesn't work for a narcissist, it's acting like a victim and making sure they save their image as much as possible while also attempting to gain moral support/validation.
Danish I am a scapegoat of the family, and I never found this information till today, that if you tell your narc on the foon how wonderful you experience a vacation. They talk over it and when you tell someone bad happens to you they listen, only negative things you get attention. So I understand now why I tell everyone the ugliest things and not the happy things that happen to me. I thought I was negative. But I am not. At last I know now where this came from .
Ever notice how happy & positive you feel around others but are always negative around your narc? They’ll trick you into thinking their negativity is yours. Asking yourself “How did I ever get this negative?” I used to be a happy person. I don’t even recognize myself anymore? They drag you down into the fray cuz misery loves company.
Ever notice how happy & positive you feel around others but are always negative around your narc? They’ll trick you into thinking their negativity is yours. Asking yourself “How did I ever get this negative?” I used to be a happy person. I don’t even recognize myself anymore? They drag you down into the fray cuz misery loves company.
This is so accurate. I had to fool my ex into thinking he was the one dumping me. Every time I left he would just guilt me into the relationship. So in order to leave him I had to get him thinking that my leaving was his idea.
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart Danish ❤ I really can't explain in words how every video of yours was like a lifeline to me after being abused and discarded ruthlessly by my narcissistic ex. May god ❤ always bless you with happiness.
My ex had a saying he used on other people: "tell 'em nothing, take "em nowhere." I didn't realise at the time that he was giving me the formula to successfully deal with him. Now that I know who he really is, I've turned that on him and he HATES it. I've found the best way to deal with him on the limited number of times I've seen him is when he's trying to convince me to do whatever, I just turn around and walk away while he's in the middle of a sentence LOL. Emotional damage!!!!
I think I defeated the freakjng narcissist over here. I can't believe he's so much different today. I think he got a big lesson. If he tries to love bomb me, I tell him to get lost. I know what you are up to. Gaslight? I turned my back and I say bullshit. I leave him alone. He can gaslight himself and become miserable. I don't care what's his problems are. He knows I am tough.
Not my grandsons father and I know he's a malignant covert seriously never says anything. He pushes buttons. He's arrogant no empathy cruel abusive. Likes to push people till they snap and then act like they're crazy. Had the ability to fold the courts counselors grandsons counselors teachers everybody serious the man has recluse tattooed on his side I'm trying to figure out how to cope with him as he doesn't want me to be any part of my grandsons life. I had my grandson from birth to 7 years old and he shows up and takes me to court 2 years of fighting no grandparents rights in Florida. And he had been in prison a violent home invasion he committed when my daughter was 4 months pregnant was supposed to do 20 years did 6 the system sucks and I cry for my grandma every day 4 years and counting. I can't imagine anybody being in a relationship with this kind of a person . Never called about this child never wrote this child the whole time he was incarcerated got out showed up I welcomed him he was only a 19 year old kid when he did that. He visited my grandson second visit he said I appreciate everything you've done but I want my son I said oh we need to have a plan that needs to be a slow process we need to get him accustomed to you and what it would you like to do what do you suggest. I got a Blank Stare he left didn't hear from him again 5 weeks later I was served . Anyway sorry for the rant but this is just beyond me
Danish, you’re right! We can’t tell them what is the next move. They always have a perfect plan to against us, no matter what it will cost. So please don’t fooled by the crocodile tears. They are the best of the best game player’s. I know them well because my boss is one of them.
Thanks the time came when people suffered from these evils coming together. I try my best to inform my family and friends about narsisst, so they can be aware and not be judgemental for anyone by narsisst traps.
Some may think these 5 steps are hash. But believe me they work to keep a person safe or the narc will destroy you. Go with your gut feelings as well and messages from God. Thank you Danish for confirming my job as well done. I'm happy again 👏😊
Thank God for your life, I am completely healed from my narcissist ex abuse. Seriously I didn't know that I ever be free again. As I'm speaking, love bonding 0, I recovered the old me😢. I have 0 attachment towards him, it's like all was just a nightmare. Your video and Dr Ramani really helped.
You don’t have to lie, but you absolutely should not tell the narcissist everything. And sometimes, you feel like not telling them something is lying. It is not. You’re just protecting yourself. You’re not giving them something that they will use against you later.
So spot on! I did all those until i went on a cruise with her. I was triggered all over the place. I lost it at a dinner, and said "F-you" with other guests at the table. I reverted to my abused childish ways. This opened up all my self-defeating behaviors and its taken several years to recover. But you are spot on! Never again! I imagine we will never speak again, she is 83,and im 78. So be it! Im at peace!
Yes been playing that game for years and as time goes on you get better at it you feed them just enough crumbs so they can’t cross the line don’t feel bad about doing that because they don’t care about you in any way what so ever.
Totally off topic, but the apartment is beautiful! Very light and spacious, but not cold and empty, but very sweet and lovely. It gives me the vibes that i can think clearly in that room, but also feel comfortable.
Danish! You've outdone yourself! This is some of the most important, excellent advice I've ever seen for people caught up in this nightmare! I've been exactly in this position planning my escape with 3 innocent children to protect. It's seriously like a hostage situation. Maintaining a facade of being a pathetic, incapable and incompetent person relaxes the narc while you discretely plan your freedom.
I'm just waiting until I can finally move out, and THEN tell her what her behavior, and her resistance/refusal to submit to accountability has cost her. I want to look her in the eye, on moving day, after everything and everyone is packed up, and say goodbye. I want to see the defeat, in real time, for once. And I don't even care if that makes me look bad. I need that victory, symbolic of every narcissist who has escaped meaningful consequences, specifically for what they did to me. I'm tired of them getting off light, amd having to wait years for them to finally catch up to themselves.
There's an unfortunate truth to this, that surviving narcissistic abuse leaves a self protective development of narcissistic thoughts and tendency. I had a full psychological evaluation after some of the things I had been through, and by the criteria of the scenarios and my responses, I have a high narcissistic tendency. But the clinical psychologist interpreted the test results in conjunction with things I had been through, and while I tested as a narcissist, I am actually an empathic person with development of narcissistic style self preservation mechanism.
Insane because I've been doing this all year and recently made a clean break. Everyone is blocked, I chaged around how my front door looks and plan on sending a generic holiday card with no return address to make her think I moved.
Not only just win, but win honestly & fairly. Narcissist's will win by any means necessary whether it means lying, cheating & stealing, they'll take an award, title, or achievement from someone more worthy & still feel entitled to it.
@@carpathianken To me being able to stay alive while still being able to walk and talk while getting to see other people doing the same is winning too. People who are winners through honesty and fairness will always seem mysterious to people who are not no matter how open their personal style is within reason.
Before knowing narcissism I was married to one. I had to make him leave me and my house and started to act sad, sick, boring and was overfriendly to him telling him to go and find a better woman for himself I even encouraged him and promised we always will be friends. We found a new place for him and I helped him pack his stuff and everything he wanted to take with him. He took everything leaving me and our two children with an almost empty house. When the divorce process started he relied on me being still friendly and tried to betray me in every possible way while playing utterly innocent and he was shocked finding out that I intended to fight for myself immidiatley when I recognized how deceitful he was. He even wrote 'you promised to trust me but now you dont, why?' If I had trusted him my cildren and me would have lost everything including our home He had planned to move into with his new supply. That was the first time in my life that I was forced to use manipulation and lies when dealing with that person. Didn't know I can do this. It changed me as I now know sometimes honesty can be dangerous.
Thus is so true, my ex husband tried to make me lose everything. I did nothing but help that man. I did this and I didnt realize I was doing it. My thought process was if the men in my family knew what he was trying to do to me, they would kill him, and my dad would of done it to protect my brothers. And I didn't want to lose any of them because I married a horrible man. So I fed his ego, and played weak and walked away with nothing but the clothes on my back and rebuild my business and life in less than a year. Now I have a beautiful life and I know how to deal with these demons and stay away from this love bombing crap.
Sad to recognize that I used all these strategies my entire childhood in my narcissistic family. These were my coping strategies when I was trapped and in danger then.
It's like some times you have to let them bat you around just a little when it feels o.k. for you. Sometimes you have to be so boring they will look for someone else to play with and torture. You have to be hypervigilant, not really fair. But life isn't fair, and they are great in numbers , in our work places, families and friends. We are more powerful, able to see 3 steps ahead of them. None the less they are damaging chaos makers everywhere they are lol....
After years of being gaslit, breadcrumbed, manipulated, betrayed and abused I pulled the rug from under his feet and EXITED. He did not see it coming even though he had received Divine admonition and was warned years ago in his Dream to get his act together. He paid no heed. Narcissists are walking, talking ticking b@mb$ that just self-donate when they reach their destined time. If they didn't cause so much suffering and destruction I would feel sorry for them. I do not anymore.
That is so sad but that was how I escaped finally!! They kept hiring more and more evil ones just like themselves but to no avail!! Glory be to God Almighty!! 🙏❤️🕊🌟🎶🌹🎚️⚖️
“Your silence is your super-power.” I need to remember that! I should write it on the palm of my hand, or something. LOL! Thx! I give him too much info.
Its like I had an invisible assistant, an angel, guiding me, the things i could not prove, hear or see, God saw & heard it all, & things just got flipped around at the end, I do not even know how except that it was divine intervention & the answer to my prayers & im very grateful my children & I are free of him. The confussion he thought would destroy me, backfired 3 years ago. The same pattern happened between my mother & myself.... the script got flipped at the end, 2 years ago, only recently i began to see God's hand that guided me through those situations that i dont know how i managed but by Gods grace I'm also free of her discarded cruelty too. Both of these covert narcissists reaped what they have sown. Its true, what goes around, comes around. I forgive all, but no more reconnections ever again‼️
These tactics to trick a narcissist, may work for certain situations. For example, if you are stuck living with them, if you are married, or a teenager at home. However I don’t believe lying and playing those kinds of games is worth the effort. It also encourages the narcissist to feel like they are still the best thing going/special/important/needed etc. the only thing that is most effective, is zero contact. Cut the cord. That is the only way for victims of this type of abuse to be able to heal themselves. Depending on how long and how severe the abuse will depend on how long it takes one to heal, cope, and move on with a more healthy mindset. Giving a narcissist any kind of attention, will give them any kind of supply that they’re looking for. Forget about the narcissist and start working on you. Don’t deplete any more of your energy toward any kind of evil that it is.
Im not a fenix rather a burnt chicken but Im still alive and its an ultimate victory because I know they wanted me dead or disabled. However, all the glory and my deepest gratitude is to God and Holy Mary. Many narcs do have supernatural powers so they will know whether you say truth or a lie, they will read your emotions and sometimes thoughts so the only way to defeat them is to entrust yourself to God.
Choking back the vomit 🤮 while you have to be around this narcissist and while you are using your time to change their attack on you ! 😮But you are right Danish and these 5 areas are crucial. One must remember too to always keep you eye on the prize during this, keep assessing what is effective. Also you will have to feed your narcissist daily (or plan daily) much like you feed your dog only you like your dog much much better ! 😊😊😊
I've just got off the roller coaster from hell last week. My narcy also bipolar, was the worst. My brain is doing and has been for years trying to prove to her how demonic she is and there's thousands of her deeds and things she has said just bounce around in my head and since I've gone through this everytime we were together for 14 years. Your comment made me wake up nicely cause I got confirmation that he'll yeah I gotta get busy. It's hard still not to bummed about them being that way. She didn't take her meds for 2 months and she lost her disability payment and so she had to go into the looney bin for a week. 2 weeks ago. I visited her and she was all doped. She held my hand but it was wierd her daughter and son inlaw were there and I was gonna dump her but I couldn't with them there then when she got out she was already with another supply driving her. She said it was her daughter but she wouldn't say Hi. Thanks for your comment it's what I needed today
I can not tank you enough for helping me heal my soul my heart Tanks to your information I feel free and happy to be alive. God will bless you and your loved ones.
The last seminar was so helpful. I really have been able to grow since attending. Thank you for this message...it is great to see progress. Much love....
Damn I'm doing all this without even knowing it. I'm working my way out. It's not easy. He has kids I love! It's so hard. I don't know what to do. I don't want to break up with them! They aren't mine so I have no authority. And if I see them behind his back it will get them in trouble. They love me too. Sucks so bad.
Strategic planning and speaking is paramount to your survival. ❤ I keep myself unapproachable at all times. They, this stalker, does not get my voice, does not get my time and no eye contact ever.
Download Free Guide That Answers Top 10 Questions
emotionalabuserecovery.com/
AMEN AMEN AMEN 🙏🏿 🙌 👏
Nice suggestions bro
Trust me, every narcissist eventually ends up self-destructing. It's inevitable.
Very true especially karma ❤
insha'Allah Ameen summa Ameen ❤
Start the countdown! I'm ready!
I married two of them, (not at the same time) and they both cheated, lied and stole from me. They both left me for a beautiful blond. They are dead now, but lived with these women for years before they died. I don't know how happy the blonds were, but they stayed. We want to think they are unhappy and that they will pay for their sins, but that is not always the case. I see other narcissists that get what they want and are happy as little clams. We can't care about that, only about ourselves.
100% I'm witnessing it right now 😅
Reverse psychology is absolutely the best strategy. I used to act very sad around my ex narc but, inside I was extremely elated because as long as I acted sad, he would leave me alone.
I did that too, it works. I saw the person have a smirk on their face
😂 Clever!
@@karlataylor1172yea I’m starting to think I’m a different way too! In an authentic way, all their games have contributed for a better me!!!
It does work, and in the process, you find and learn a whole lot of forbidden information.
Silence is golden. Just give them enough space to tell on themselves. The truth always comes out in the end.
👍👍👍
They do tell on themselves.
I once made a narc* so mad that she exposed herself totally to me and said things that I couldn't even imagine.
It sucks that we have to be manipulative to be able to manage life with a narc…once we escape I hope and pray we recognize these personalities so we never have to “go there “ with anyone ever again
I pray in agreement for all our decernment 🙏
Exactly, that's why i learned so much about narcissism by my past relationship,
No, we don't need to be manipulative like they are, we just have to stay away from them and that's it..
I left the chamber of such person.
Sad but true , this is exactly how I safely got out my narcissistic marriage. You have to be strategic. After 3 years I understood how his (sick) mind works. Using logic, expecting compassion or accountability - doesn't work with these people. Thank you Danish for your always great insight and advice.
Dont tell them anything!,,,, like Chris Reese says anything you say can and will be used against you.....😬
True😭
Isn't Kris Reeves good!!
True, this is what happened to me, because of that ***** narcissist, she only deserves karma
They are information gatherers.
@@Charlotte66666 and than will use against you
You can’t tell them anything, they find a way to turn absolutely everything against you, they think so differently with evil intent
Vicious ⭕️
So true
With acceptance, comes calm. Sorry to say, but indifference is key. Don't exert ur energy on them; keep it for urself
Don't apologise, what you said is extremely valuable. We rob narcissist's of any payoff when we don't react to them.
Too many people get sucked into "standing up for themselves" & "asserting their boundaries" constantly in the hope of better treatment, but narcissist's love nothing more than to steamroll over us at any opportunity & will never raise their standards of decency.
You're not exerting energy on them, you're exerting energy on protecting yourself from the damage they could cause. Self-preservation is a part of abuse recovery, you eventually get to a point where you can make a clean break
This is so true!
@@carpathiankenEven the Apostle Paul only asked for healing 3 times!!!
Trust your gut. That knot that you always have in the pit of your stomach. The overthinking you have to do about every conversation or interaction. The thinking through how you’re going to have a conversation to get them to notice you or understand you… All of it is not normal. They will tell you that you’re overreacting or dramatic. They will tell you that you’re being overly sensitive… But you’re spot on.
Give yourself time to analyze and unpack the turmoil/living hell you lived in, but don’t live in the analyzing . I continued, and still continue, to realize… Oh… So this was all part of the narcissism too… it is so deep and sick that you could spend the rest of your life analyzing and unpacking it. You have to give your thinking some boundaries. I actually had to set a timer and tell myself… OK you get an hour to think about this today and then you’re doing what is on your agenda. Oh… and… make yourself an agenda or list and DO IT …. Sometimes I had to force myself just to brush my teeth and get a shower… But you must stick to some sort of schedule.
Forgive yourself for being vulnerable. I couldn’t get over the 23 years I had wasted. I couldn’t stop beating myself up for not being smarter and stronger quicker. I had to remind myself that I was the perfect match. As an only child of older parents, I was younger when they died and I had no family. His family became my family and he knew he had me. I had to remember my intentions were good and decent and God will honor what I did. I wanted to keep the family together and believe that no one could be as evil as his actions were showing me.
Make safe changes. You don’t want to make big changes like changing jobs or moving across the country, although there are people that have no choice and have to do this. But make small changes like your hair color. Drive a different way to work. Wear a different style.
As much as possible… spoil yourself. Do what you need to make yourself feel pretty or handsome. Order the decadent chocolate cake.
Never feel ashamed. I remember that some people treated me like I was that homeless person that they felt sorry for but if they didn’t look it would all go away. I was embarrassed and ashamed. The beautiful part about it is I found out who really does care about me. You don’t have to have a lot of blood relatives to have family. You will find the people that mean the most; There will be loyal friends who you can let yourself be raw with… let it happen.
Do no start looking for a relationship! I initially remember feeling as though I had to go out with people to feel desirable and flattered. I was in no way ready to be a partner to anyone until I could tell myself “You still got it girl!” and really believe it.
NEVER look back or second guess yourself! It will never get better if you go back. And they will try to get you back. There’s never break up with a narcissist. As long as you allow it, they will continually try to get in touch with you and lead up to begging you to come back. It feels flattering but it is empty and meaningless. My ex-husband who ended up with a very young girl who has emotional and mental problems (I was her mentor in our church) has recently tried to ask me to give him just “one more chance” 5 days after the girl broke up with him. Every single time he did this In the past, The forgive me speech and crying was the same and his behavior was even worse with each time I went back. This is an addiction for you.. not love and addiction is hard to kick. Speaking of addiction… be careful not to pick up any others … pills, alcohol, shopping
Train your thoughts. Don’t let the tail wag the dog. When you start to go down that path of negative thoughts and telling yourself life is going to be forever gloom and doom, remember that being apart from this monster is THE BEGINNING of a new life and the pain will lift.
You were more alone and in danger with them than away from them. That’s it… buoy…. Ya!
Take care of yourself. This healing needs all the healthy habits you can muster. When you’re feeling as though you’re having a strong moment, and you will see a pattern of times that you feel a bit stronger, pre-plan meals so that when you’re feeling really bad all you have to do is get in the refrigerator and heat something up. Put toothpaste on the brush so all you have to do is pick it up. Take melatonin to get rest. Take vitamins/supplements.
NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT…. Forever… you are doing this to heal not to get a reaction out of them or try to get them to love you.
Keep talking to other survivors and remember that you are just that… A SURVIVOR. There will come a day that you will be helping others.
Never feel bad for them. My ex-husband‘s mask has finally come off and he can’t keep the façade up anymore. It is pathetic. My adult children know not to discuss what is going on with him with me and I don’t ask. Don’t ask!!! They will look for every opportunity to tug on your heartstrings.
Don’t wallow in thinking they are happy. They are desperately unhappy. They will never be happy and will delight in any weakness they see in you, so again…. ZERO ZILCH CONTACT or GRAY ROCK flat, noncommittal tone with as few words as possible.
Count your blessings I remember looking at everybody around me and thinking how happy and lucky everybody else looked. Everybody has stuff going on. Yours is just super big at the moment. So look for blessings . I thanked God for little things that weren’t so little… a job close to home, my frig worked, I didn’t catch a cold from my first grade class (again.. take care of yourself). Some days it seemed ludicrous that there was a blessing, but sometimes the blessings were the things God Prevented from happening.
Keep track of your progress. Three years away from my husband, looking back at my journey, I cannot believe how far God has brought me. You will be a new, better version of you if you don’t let the tail wag the dog.
Knowledge is power. Read everything you can about this but again… Set boundaries for yourself… don’t stay stuck
Boundaries boundaries boundaries I started to realize that I didn’t have boundaries set for myself at all. It was easy for people to tell me the way it was going to be and just assume that it would just be that way without me standing up for myself. Find confidence in putting your needs and emotional health first. You are not being selfish.
Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyHub@gmail. com.
Great advice.
Right ON !!!
My Decernment has informed ME that all the information I've obtained is TRUE! NO MORE DOUBTS!!! NOW I KNOW!!!
Great advice..👌
my husband before marriage used to talk like he is the most loving person in the world. but after marriage he tortured me, he abused me, used very very filthy and abusive language day and night every sec of my life. he degraded me, devalued me, discouraged me, time to time he made me believe that I'm nothing and i will not be able to live independently. He made me believe that I'm capable of nothing but once I came out of this toxic relation and I'm now independent and successful. I used to pray God to make my husband my strength, but God made be stronger. God made me independent.
Praise God
Same here, Beloved. God Bless you. Keep rising 🤍🙏🫶💖
That's was me before but everything has changed for the better
Simply don't talk to liars and manipulative narcissists. Lies tend to corrupt your soul. One who never lies doesn't have to remember anything,
Everything you said is EXACTLY how I escaped!
IT WORKS!!!!!
True…but the goal is freedom…stay focused
We should run campaign to make society aware about these evils. It will help empathy to avoid society bullying by narsisst traps
They need a tattoo on forehead 😮
Don't, this is not a job, because if you failed the test or made any mistake then consequences of your actions will be even more dangerous then you think
It is silently happening. Everybody and their dog knows these patterns now. Little battles being won every day.
Set up boundaries for yourself. Empath are just people who lack emotional boundaries.
Reverse psychology
Yes i do this. Since there is no emotional attachment left, this is easy
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail . com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
Narcissism is getting more and more common in the world..stay away from any kind of narcissism and save yourself before its too late
You are radiating a total different energy. So much more self confident.
They thrive on attention and control and don't care how they get it.
Give them as little information as humanly possible. If possible, don't interact with them at all. Block them all over social media and continue to make progress in life. Remember it's growth and progress that truly hurts them. One day, they should see you have prospered so much without them, they should know they can't use you anymore and can't silence you anymore.
Remain as SILENT 🤫 as possible. Grey Rock 🪨
He is applying the same method in reverse
@@shafeelariazhaleem9211 interestin
Works perfectly!
That lets them get away with things tho.
Sometimes when I find a person is playing me, manipulating me, I get angry that they are taking advantage of my goodness,so, now I don’t feel one bit bad about playing games back in order to keep them off my track..
I concure
Narcissists are the most waste añd unemployed people I have ever seen!
My reched X never worked much in 20 yrs.
@@par_aro
YEP..!🫢
Hella true" 😊
I am unemployed and free of narcissists
@@neilmcdougall4927 lm also on the rock and roll .
If you don't have anything they can't take anything away.
This is my uncle. The most evil man I know. Backbites and gossips everyone else. But praises himself and exaggerates his own achievements. He lies and manipulates. Gets glee when others have bad news or bad things in their life. Extremely arrogant. Now after years of failures in life and narcisstic injury he has finally gone quiet into a miserable depression
For 4 decades my Uncle was the most evil person of all the Sadistically CATHOLIC PEOPLE I've known.
Til I got to see my Christian MoMster's mask slip!
Each time someone resorts to manipulation in order to stay alive and then congratulates themselves about how that is evidence that they are smarter and wiser than people who do not they have taken one step towards becoming narcissistic.
@@keithstewart7514 it´s very interesting to see, how strongly religious people are often the worst abusers. The worst part is, they don´t even have to be narcissists...
@@keithstewart7514 momster? You mean your mom was a Narcissist too?
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing.
My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’.
Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :)
Additionally I hired a private detective MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
Congratulations. Life will smile upon you
Absolutely!
The narc back in my life, used to treat me shit like when they got bored. Started to devalue n discarded me time n time. Later when I discarded that narcissist, he bounced back n started showing up in my workplace and blowing up my phone. Saying he loves me n never wanna lose me! Can't live without me n stuff. Like hell, I realised my worth finally n discarded him permanently from my life. He can go to hell where that bird belongs!
It’s hard to be so dishonest but we have to preserve our life. I’m suffering from a debilitating chronic illness from childhood trauma and then being with people like this. I will escape as soon as I can. My body and mind come first now.
Sending prayers your way. Please don't give up.
❤ Yes it is. I hate lieing or seeking around trying to get my ducks in a row to escape..
Sending healing hugs and thoughts your way. I'm in a similar situation. Survival, first,, healing,, then escape. My condition is because he delayed life-saving surgeries that caused too much damage to my body. I will be in debilitating pain for the rest of my life and greatly diminished. He takes no blame and shows no remorse. I've almost died at his hands several times. He always claims ignorance,, hard to believe he's that stupid when he's so smart in other areas of his life. I now believe that he wanted me to di* because who can keep repeating the same mistakes over & over and not learn from them? Same goes for me. I keep thinking I must be insane to keep believing that he truly did not do it deliberately. Survival, first- then no contact. It's the only way. Good luck!
I recently talked him into going to oregon to improve on property he has there. I said I'll take care of the home front, you just go and enjoy yourself. He tries to torture me from afar, but can't, it's wonderful!!! By the time he returns, I just may have enough to escape. If not, I'll just keep sending him away, something he loves to do - - - leave.
Amazing. You got this
I bet this is the happiest he has been in years.
Bashir you've been of great help.. Thank you so much 🙏🏾
Silence mixed with a little dizziness. 🤣 Love that!
I gave the ex-narc groomer the impression that I was sinking into depression, killed myself and disappeared. Actually, I am living a whole new life outside the industry they think I was in.
Pretty impressive.. BRAVO
You know what, I did all of these things and trust me it works like magic to your benefit. If you want to imagine my overall thought process then trust me I used to be as simple as a cow while thinking about other's well being. Then I was given an option by the almighty either to leave that monster or die caged. And guys you wont believe, but my mind automatically worked just like what Danish said, I did not intend to harm him but had to save myself. And now here I am, busy being "the sun" of my life.
@DivineSparkle-cgsgagcg Just bhebe cholte hoye ki aami jodi eta kori toh otaar ki reaction debe taara...oder mood bhalo dekhe oder trust gain kore then finally shheta korte hoye, ja actually plan korechi. Its tricky, but that's the only way.
I've even lost the ability to express what i feel at this point. Don't wanna talk about the narcissistic abuse even to my own self. Lost my health, my beauty, my talent, the narcissist just broke my soul. I'm really happy for the people who got out of this situation, but me . I'm Suffocating. Can't comprehend.
❤❤❤comes and heal my friend. There is so much things to do
You’re not alone. ‘Passion and dedication’ …. Just as your name says here, keep at it, hang in there….. I go outside and place my hands in the dirt and walk with my feet on the ground. Take in the warmth of the first sunshine in the morning, keep your body and head towards the light…. ❤ will guide you back to your authentic self. You’re not alone…..
I suggest listening to some tarot readings on you tube that really helped me get out of my sadness and confusion 🙏🏽
@@empresslove2211 I do. 🙂
Yeah they suck the life outta you like a demon sadistic.
I succeeded n he's been out of my life for 8 yrs now....lying n manipulation was the ONLY thing that worked. There was a child involved n I had to do WHATEVER it took to protect my son. I got my life back 10 fold n am doing better NOW than ever in my past.
I'm currently in the similar situation. I wanted to take his for child support but my family tells me to wait to I'll move out of the state. Do you have any advice on how to proceed in this matter?
God just gave me this grace to frustrate my narcissist husband,I really thank God for this channel,I am alive now , thanks
You are right, I’ve had to reach into myself & fight fire with fire. I truly wondered throughout the relationship if I was the narcissist because I was in the midst of battle and was fighting for my sanity. I’ve done this drip feed whilst not knowing what I was consciously doing.
If you suspect someone is a narcissist, lie to them, appeal to their ego and act a lot more invested than you really are.
If they bring up these lies in future conversation after a disagreement (doesn't matter what kind of disagreement it is) hoping to shit on them, you've got them in your trap already because they think they are hurting feelings that aren't there and they think it's going to give them leverage.
You can keep on acting like you are offended/hurt if you're amused by seeing how far people will go
Or you can strip away their fake personality, reduce them to what they are. 'Nothing but a narcissist' and watch them get upset or call you the same thing.
Because if attacking and dismissing people doesn't work for a narcissist, it's acting like a victim and making sure they save their image as much as possible while also attempting to gain moral support/validation.
Thank u, Danish. Ur helping me become a master at recognizing narcissistic persons. Freedom!
Same here. I'm a two year survivor and listen to his videos everyday as therapy. It's helps so much with time
You have been a lifesaver. Thx
Danish I am a scapegoat of the family, and I never found this information till today, that if you tell your narc on the foon how wonderful you experience a vacation. They talk over it and when you tell someone bad happens to you they listen, only negative things you get attention. So I understand now why I tell everyone the ugliest things and not the happy things that happen to me.
I thought I was negative. But I am not. At last I know now where this came from .
I'm a scapegoat in my family I can relate to that. I'm never supposed to be happy about my work goal achievements.
Ever notice how happy & positive you feel around others but are always negative around your narc? They’ll trick you into thinking their negativity is yours. Asking yourself “How did I ever get this negative?” I used to be a happy person. I don’t even recognize myself anymore? They drag you down into the fray cuz misery loves company.
Ever notice how happy & positive you feel around others but are always negative around your narc? They’ll trick you into thinking their negativity is yours. Asking yourself “How did I ever get this negative?” I used to be a happy person. I don’t even recognize myself anymore? They drag you down into the fray cuz misery loves company.
This is so accurate. I had to fool my ex into thinking he was the one dumping me. Every time I left he would just guilt me into the relationship. So in order to leave him I had to get him thinking that my leaving was his idea.
Same here 🎉
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart Danish ❤ I really can't explain in words how every video of yours was like a lifeline to me after being abused and discarded ruthlessly by my narcissistic ex. May god ❤ always bless you with happiness.
Yes! These tactics work. Another good thing about this is you are doing something positive to help yourself and not sitting in resentment.
My ex had a saying he used on other people: "tell 'em nothing, take "em nowhere." I didn't realise at the time that he was giving me the formula to successfully deal with him. Now that I know who he really is, I've turned that on him and he HATES it. I've found the best way to deal with him on the limited number of times I've seen him is when he's trying to convince me to do whatever, I just turn around and walk away while he's in the middle of a sentence LOL.
Emotional damage!!!!
I think I defeated the freakjng narcissist over here. I can't believe he's so much different today. I think he got a big lesson. If he tries to love bomb me, I tell him to get lost. I know what you are up to. Gaslight? I turned my back and I say bullshit. I leave him alone. He can gaslight himself and become miserable. I don't care what's his problems are. He knows I am tough.
Becoming tough is the solution with most I believe
They love to talk. Keep ur ears open & use it
Yes. That is their weapon. Talk and turn your mind upside down. It's their evil skill
Not my grandsons father and I know he's a malignant covert seriously never says anything. He pushes buttons. He's arrogant no empathy cruel abusive. Likes to push people till they snap and then act like they're crazy. Had the ability to fold the courts counselors grandsons counselors teachers everybody serious the man has recluse tattooed on his side I'm trying to figure out how to cope with him as he doesn't want me to be any part of my grandsons life. I had my grandson from birth to 7 years old and he shows up and takes me to court 2 years of fighting no grandparents rights in Florida. And he had been in prison a violent home invasion he committed when my daughter was 4 months pregnant was supposed to do 20 years did 6 the system sucks and I cry for my grandma every day 4 years and counting. I can't imagine anybody being in a relationship with this kind of a person . Never called about this child never wrote this child the whole time he was incarcerated got out showed up I welcomed him he was only a 19 year old kid when he did that. He visited my grandson second visit he said I appreciate everything you've done but I want my son I said oh we need to have a plan that needs to be a slow process we need to get him accustomed to you and what it would you like to do what do you suggest. I got a Blank Stare he left didn't hear from him again 5 weeks later I was served . Anyway sorry for the rant but this is just beyond me
@@paulettelamontagne6992 Be careful. He sounds like the worst kind of narcissist. A sociopathic one
They are always narcissists. It just appears that they aren't sometimes. I also thot this when I was younger. They don't change. Just appearances
Danish, you’re right! We can’t tell them what is the next move. They always have a perfect plan to against us, no matter what it will cost. So please don’t fooled by the crocodile tears. They are the best of the best game player’s. I know them well because my boss is one of them.
I'm done playing damages with devils.
Cero contact and they go mad trying to get your attention!
Thanks the time came when people suffered from these evils coming together. I try my best to inform my family and friends about narsisst, so they can be aware and not be judgemental for anyone by narsisst traps.
Some may think these 5 steps are hash. But believe me they work to keep a person safe or the narc will destroy you. Go with your gut feelings as well and messages from God. Thank you Danish for confirming my job as well done. I'm happy again 👏😊
Thank God for your life, I am completely healed from my narcissist ex abuse. Seriously I didn't know that I ever be free again. As I'm speaking, love bonding 0, I recovered the old me😢. I have 0 attachment towards him, it's like all was just a nightmare. Your video and Dr Ramani really helped.
You don’t have to lie, but you absolutely should not tell the narcissist everything. And sometimes, you feel like not telling them something is lying. It is not. You’re just protecting yourself. You’re not giving them something that they will use against you later.
We are really thankful to you
Sounds all incredibly confusing 😄
My head is spinning 😵💫
I just want to be left aloneee 😅
(Left alone from narcs, of course!)
Same
Same here. I am totally exhausted dealing with my narc husband for so many years..!!
I wish that internet and you were here when I was a child 😢. Thank you for your videos, they help with healing from the aftermath.👍🏻💙
So spot on! I did all those until i went on a cruise with her. I was triggered all over the place. I lost it at a dinner, and said "F-you" with other guests at the table. I reverted to my abused childish ways. This opened up all my self-defeating behaviors and its taken several years to recover. But you are spot on! Never again! I imagine we will never speak again, she is 83,and im 78. So be it! Im at peace!
Thank you Danish Bashir, you have accurately described all the phases of a narcissistic toxic behavior to destroy am empath!
This is the first time I saw Josh respond to someone in the audience. If he starts doing this, y’all better be respectful.
Yes been playing that game for years and as time goes on you get better at it you feed them just enough crumbs so they can’t cross the line don’t feel bad about doing that because they don’t care about you in any way what so ever.
Totally off topic, but the apartment is beautiful! Very light and spacious, but not cold and empty, but very sweet and lovely. It gives me the vibes that i can think clearly in that room, but also feel comfortable.
You tell them straight up and they will never believe you anyway. But you have to follow through.
Danish! You've outdone yourself! This is some of the most important, excellent advice I've ever seen for people caught up in this nightmare! I've been exactly in this position planning my escape with 3 innocent children to protect. It's seriously like a hostage situation. Maintaining a facade of being a pathetic, incapable and incompetent person relaxes the narc while you discretely plan your freedom.
I'm just waiting until I can finally move out, and THEN tell her what her behavior, and her resistance/refusal to submit to accountability has cost her. I want to look her in the eye, on moving day, after everything and everyone is packed up, and say goodbye. I want to see the defeat, in real time, for once. And I don't even care if that makes me look bad. I need that victory, symbolic of every narcissist who has escaped meaningful consequences, specifically for what they did to me. I'm tired of them getting off light, amd having to wait years for them to finally catch up to themselves.
U sick
There's an unfortunate truth to this, that surviving narcissistic abuse leaves a self protective development of narcissistic thoughts and tendency. I had a full psychological evaluation after some of the things I had been through, and by the criteria of the scenarios and my responses, I have a high narcissistic tendency. But the clinical psychologist interpreted the test results in conjunction with things I had been through, and while I tested as a narcissist, I am actually an empathic person with development of narcissistic style self preservation mechanism.
Insane because I've been doing this all year and recently made a clean break. Everyone is blocked, I chaged around how my front door looks and plan on sending a generic holiday card with no return address to make her think I moved.
I want to see more people than just me win. That is the problem.
Not only just win, but win honestly & fairly. Narcissist's will win by any means necessary whether it means lying, cheating & stealing, they'll take an award, title, or achievement from someone more worthy & still feel entitled to it.
@@carpathianken To me being able to stay alive while still being able to walk and talk while getting to see other people doing the same is winning too. People who are winners through honesty and fairness will always seem mysterious to people who are not no matter how open their personal style is within reason.
Before knowing narcissism I was married to one. I had to make him leave me and my house and started to act sad, sick, boring and was overfriendly to him telling him to go and find a better woman for himself I even encouraged him and promised we always will be friends. We found a new place for him and I helped him pack his stuff and everything he wanted to take with him. He took everything leaving me and our two children with an almost empty house. When the divorce process started he relied on me being still friendly and tried to betray me in every possible way while playing utterly innocent and he was shocked finding out that I intended to fight for myself immidiatley when I recognized how deceitful he was. He even wrote 'you promised to trust me but now you dont, why?' If I had trusted him my cildren and me would have lost everything including our home He had planned to move into with his new supply. That was the first time in my life that I was forced to use manipulation and lies when dealing with that person. Didn't know I can do this. It changed me as I now know sometimes honesty can be dangerous.
Yes Danish keep helping us, we need it against these evil people who hate good people.
Thus is so true, my ex husband tried to make me lose everything. I did nothing but help that man. I did this and I didnt realize I was doing it. My thought process was if the men in my family knew what he was trying to do to me, they would kill him, and my dad would of done it to protect my brothers. And I didn't want to lose any of them because I married a horrible man. So I fed his ego, and played weak and walked away with nothing but the clothes on my back and rebuild my business and life in less than a year. Now I have a beautiful life and I know how to deal with these demons and stay away from this love bombing crap.
Sad to recognize that I used all these strategies my entire childhood in my narcissistic family. These were my coping strategies when I was trapped and in danger then.
It's like some times you have to let them bat you around just a little when it feels o.k. for you. Sometimes you have to be so boring they will look for someone else to play with and torture. You have to be hypervigilant, not really fair. But life isn't fair, and they are great in numbers , in our work places, families and friends. We are more powerful, able to see 3 steps ahead of them. None the less they are damaging chaos makers everywhere they are lol....
After years of being gaslit, breadcrumbed, manipulated, betrayed and abused I pulled the rug from under his feet and EXITED. He did not see it coming even though he had received Divine admonition and was warned years ago in his Dream to get his act together. He paid no heed. Narcissists are walking, talking ticking b@mb$ that just self-donate when they reach their destined time. If they didn't cause so much suffering and destruction I would feel sorry for them. I do not anymore.
That is so sad but that was how I escaped finally!!
They kept hiring more and more evil ones just like themselves but to no avail!!
Glory be to God Almighty!!
🙏❤️🕊🌟🎶🌹🎚️⚖️
They will turn on each other or God will do something to stop them if they don't change. I'd imagine that
“Your silence is your super-power.” I need to remember that! I should write it on the palm of my hand, or something. LOL! Thx! I give him too much info.
Its like I had an invisible assistant, an angel, guiding me, the things i could not prove, hear or see, God saw & heard it all, & things just got flipped around at the end, I do not even know how except that it was divine intervention & the answer to my prayers & im very grateful my children & I are free of him. The confussion he thought would destroy me, backfired 3 years ago. The same pattern happened between my mother & myself.... the script got flipped at the end, 2 years ago, only recently i began to see God's hand that guided me through those situations that i dont know how i managed but by Gods grace I'm also free of her discarded cruelty too. Both of these covert narcissists reaped what they have sown. Its true, what goes around, comes around. I forgive all, but no more reconnections ever again‼️
These tactics to trick a narcissist, may work for certain situations. For example, if you are stuck living with them, if you are married, or a teenager at home. However I don’t believe lying and playing those kinds of games is worth the effort. It also encourages the narcissist to feel like they are still the best thing going/special/important/needed etc. the only thing that is most effective, is zero contact. Cut the cord. That is the only way for victims of this type of abuse to be able to heal themselves. Depending on how long and how severe the abuse will depend on how long it takes one to heal, cope, and move on with a more healthy mindset. Giving a narcissist any kind of attention, will give them any kind of supply that they’re looking for. Forget about the narcissist and start working on you. Don’t deplete any more of your energy toward any kind of evil that it is.
The only way to win with the narcissist is to not play the game. Get out, stay out. Go no contact. PERIOD.
Brother, I can't explain how much I'm grateful to you. Thanks a lot.
Im not a fenix rather a burnt chicken but Im still alive and its an ultimate victory because I know they wanted me dead or disabled. However, all the glory and my deepest gratitude is to God and Holy Mary. Many narcs do have supernatural powers so they will know whether you say truth or a lie, they will read your emotions and sometimes thoughts so the only way to defeat them is to entrust yourself to God.
Choking back the vomit 🤮 while you have to be around this narcissist and while you are using your time to change their attack on you ! 😮But you are right Danish and these 5 areas are crucial. One must remember too to always keep you eye on the prize during this, keep assessing what is effective. Also you will have to feed your narcissist daily (or plan daily) much like you feed your dog only you like your dog much much better ! 😊😊😊
I've just got off the roller coaster from hell last week. My narcy also bipolar, was the worst. My brain is doing and has been for years trying to prove to her how demonic she is and there's thousands of her deeds and things she has said just bounce around in my head and since I've gone through this everytime we were together for 14 years. Your comment made me wake up nicely cause I got confirmation that he'll yeah I gotta get busy. It's hard still not to bummed about them being that way. She didn't take her meds for 2 months and she lost her disability payment and so she had to go into the looney bin for a week. 2 weeks ago. I visited her and she was all doped. She held my hand but it was wierd her daughter and son inlaw were there and I was gonna dump her but I couldn't with them there then when she got out she was already with another supply driving her. She said it was her daughter but she wouldn't say Hi. Thanks for your comment it's what I needed today
I agree 100%! It is only way i could maintain my sanity. Mainly, just avoid any information that she may use to sabotage me.😅
I hate to lie, but depends of the situation.. If i need to save myself, is something else. I understand now much more things, thank you!❤
I can not tank you enough for helping me heal my soul my heart
Tanks to your information I feel free and happy to be alive. God will bless you and your loved ones.
Thank you Danish! Another great video 🙏🏼❤️🔥
Don’t think I’d have much energy and strength to play all those mind games. It’s draining 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️.
The last seminar was so helpful. I really have been able to grow since attending. Thank you for this message...it is great to see progress. Much love....
Damn I'm doing all this without even knowing it. I'm working my way out. It's not easy. He has kids I love! It's so hard. I don't know what to do. I don't want to break up with them! They aren't mine so I have no authority. And if I see them behind his back it will get them in trouble. They love me too. Sucks so bad.
For me this is the smartest video I have heard from you, Danish
You are wise, I feel
Thanks for sharing your knowlegde❤
Fantastic advice. Play dead!
Distancing urself from narc would eventually work effectively trust me
You look great Danish!!
Thank you, Danish. You have held me up.
Thank a lot. Really good information. 🎉
Thank you for the work you do. You save lives. Thank you.thank you
The only thing you can do is to set up boundaries. The worst thing that can happen to these people is indifference.
Strategic planning and speaking is paramount to your survival. ❤ I keep myself unapproachable at all times. They, this stalker, does not get my voice, does not get my time and no eye contact ever.