My biggest red flag is, when you're on you're on your own you love yourself, and when you're with a narc you're insecure...you should never ever feel insecure when you're in love! That person doesn't deserve your love! Please run for the hills while you can and never look back!🙏
I tried running for the hills. He just lives down the street unfortunately and kept bugging me on my phone and wanting to stop by. He used any excuse 😭 I wish he would move away.
Yep, I'm still working with mine, and they are bullying me with my narc boss hand in hand. I'm in the middle of a huge fight having to spend all my free time writing emails after emails trying to prove my right, because they are the best at looking the best. And although they've got nothing on me, it's still very daunting having to explain myself for something I haven't done and all the bullying I've been putting up with in the past few years. I just want to do my job, and you just want to live your life! I guess we both learnt our lesson for life. I wish you the best and that you'll find a way out of this impossible situation one day...hopefully sooner than later 🙏
@@wandahastings8470 And yeah, ultimately it's too late for us, hence we've ended up here trying to help those who can still be helped while we're picking up the pieces for our mistakes. 😔
Agreed, even my church is 90% narcissists. My son came into large service & he said everyone looks so mean & nasty, why are they in church if they’re adults. I told him they think it’s a get out of jail / hell free card 😅
Not only in your country..Bro… it is in every country….. in every society… n in many many homes.. where one is being manipulated randomly by a narcissistic personality…. who is satiating his or her narcissistic demands , rage n attitudes…!!
@@suparnasaha1869 I've done plenty of traveling, and your comment rings true. I hope the human race can evolve beyond lust for selfish dominance into love of ourselves and each other before we destroy ourselves completely. Humanity has been dividing into groups and attacking itself since before recorded history. It's high time to develop our conscience.
@@joymarie3326 I can't remember the exact verse in the Bible but God is warning His People to get out of the our churches asap. My people will perish from lack of knowledge. No church building is required for Salvation. Plus all churches are controlled by the Roman Catholic Church. If you want to add anything? Please do! God bless and have a blessed day 😊♥️😇🙏
Oh absolutely! My former coworker she would have a literal tantrum at work if someone asked me how was my vacation! Folks look at her like she crazy. One coworker told her about her self and she still had a tantrum. Selfish woman who has so much but is empty.
❤ yes I agree 💯I have made a comment in the heat of the moment that was my truth , (I actually apologized for it , and as I wouldn't/didn't justify why I said what I said) Omg the tantrum that happened, from them and the discard of me 😂🥳🥳🥳🥳 yahoo 😆🎉freedom 🤣) thought well yep that's nice ,gotch ya 😂😂 I count that rejection as gods protection 💯🙏
@@geraldinebyrnes3298this is properly introduced. The no looking back, there's a big reason why the leaving took place, it takes a lot to leave. Do not feed the wolf...
Yes, because they are always paranoid instigators accusing you of something ridiculous that you are not even doing and because they believe themselves to be a badass whose entitled to be disrespectful the moment challenged is when they run off like cowards to call police and accuse you without proof like they did with me yesterday afternoon.
Yes, especially when he's across the room, and a stranger! Like they cruise the room looking for some naive female to take his bait. Being young is challenging unless you can protect yourself with the 6 MONYH RULE...🤔😵😳😦😂
You get it,donna! Once the realisation hit me that we were chosen for this mission, although the suffering that came before that realisation……just wow!!
The fact that narcissists overly play being "nice, kind and helpful" is to bait you. They're awkwardly invasive wanting to know everything about you to use it against you later. Everything they do has an agenda. "Think the worst and you'll be certain" always works with them. Never trust them but your own self. Thank you, Danish 🙏🏻
Regardless of all the personality traits and meta communication.. The greatest indicator that you have while communicating with a narcissist is your own body.. Trust it..
Yes. Something immediately feels off but you can’t quite put a finger on what it is. That is your intuition sensing danger. If you continue to spend time around this person well we all know the stages your body, mind and spirit go through. Your body absolutely senses danger. But you want to believe in love. Thus the battle for your soul begins ..
I agree 💯! You can be insecure without being with anyone, that's when you need to work on yourself, go to therapy if you need to, but when you become insecure whilst with someone, that's a very bad omen.
After surviving a 43-year relationship with a narcissist before, I finally Left, after two children, and a lifetime of pain and suffering, I really wish this was stuff that was taught in high school. I wish there were classes for young people, not just relying on friends, family, whatever. If there were relationship classes, it would help to alleviate so many miserable relationships. If my kids were younger and unmarried, I would shut them down and make them watch, read, learn about red flags for narcissism, trauma, bonding, all of the things to look out for so that they could be happy in their relationships.
Totally agree, there needs to be more awareness in schools and for parents to educate their children on these types of toxic people. Prevention is better than cure. Once I get my life back on track I’m going to somehow lobby for this for the UK.
I am really glad and thankful that i'm only 25 and already out of my almost 8 years of on and off relationship with my narc ex and that i had the priviledge of going to therapy (because i am borderline but i also learned a lot about narcissism there) and that i have an aunt who is a psychologist that i can talk to about everything. For a long time i thought that if im honest and have good morals then everybody is kinda the same... Oh boy i was so wrong. Now i can also wish every victim of any abuse will finally be free and happy and spread my knowledge and experiences with my friends and other people on my way so that they can be more aware and wont waste any time more with predatory people with masks on their faces. I really wish you all the best, no matter how old are you, you deserve it!
It is really sad we have to educate ourselves on the most important topic in our lives: emotions and relationships. It is awesome that we have internet nowadays, but still, most of the people dont even care to read anything that would definitely help and better their lives. Also, not everybody have access to these info. But we all know that schools dont teach us what is really important in life and its super sad
Yes! Same here. My father was a textbook narcissist. It left me with some emotional scars, but at least I healed and learned very early on in my 20’s how to spot them a mile away.
You mentioned staring…it’s so darn true. I remember this stare, it feels like they are invading your soul through your eyes. Studying every single reaction and dilation of your pupils.
Those people who are quiet but aren't shy or because they have nothing to say. They are watching their prey before they pounce as they are sociopaths. Effy in Skins was just like that.
I live in a small town. There are a couple people in town, who, when they show up, everyone runs. These people are VERY nice, and seem harmless, but they are angling for something, either now or later, and those who have known them for a while, don't mess with them any more. They run. They can't put their finger on it, but I think they are covert narcissists.
For sure. They act like you're breaking the law when you refuse their request (demand) even if you have a very reasonable and urgent need to say "sorry, not tonight I HAVE to do this instead"
and then survivors are called indecisive when they just feel pressured into doing something that is only an advantage to the narc and not for themselves
How to lose a narcissist in 10 seconds or less: Act completely indifferent and apathetic to anything they say or do. They feed off your emotions. "You're so emotional! You don't even care at all do you?! Why are you so angry?! You never loved me! I don't have time for your feelings! You think you've got problems?! You're not listening to me! Everything is always all about you, what about me?! You don't even care how I'm feeling! I need to get some sleep! I don't have time for this right now! You're so sensitive! You're not fun anymore! Please stop harassing me leave me alone, you're crazy! You tricked me! You're nothing like the person I first met! You're fake! You're a liar! You don't know what love is!" It's all bait. All of it.
"I'm tired of your feelings!". "Is not all about you!". As I was thinking it's actuality supposed to be my relationship too!!!! Was awful 13 years. Now married to a wonderful guy where none of these things are an issue!!!! They are out there. But have to sort through many haystacks to find that needle!!!!
Tell them the word "NO". Narcs have a real problem with the word no. The second best way, is to give them silence and maintain eye contact. See what happens.
The silence thing is golden. About a month ago, I called my narc wife out on her behavior and called her a hypocrite. She lost her chit! I than stayed quiet while she packed up her belongings and went off on me, my family, etc. People that didn't have anything to do with the conversation, just to get a reaction out of me... Well it didn't work on me but it did work on her teenage son, who then in turn attacked me for "disrespecting" his mom by not speaking to her. Needless to say, they are now homeless and begging to come back since no one wants them around. I wonder why
I met my narcissist when I was only 18 and fell in love. We were married for nearly 20 years but in the end it was not bearable any more and now I have been married happily for 35 years to just the best man I could hope for.
Huge blowout with my narc tonight. He tried every possible narc tactic including SCREAMING that my only sister who's been dead for TWENTY years hated me..and her at the time 2 & 4 year old babies hate me too. I just laughed and said "you have no idea what my relationship was with my sister. She actually tried to warn me against marrying a weak man like you".
@@KBM20111112 , I surely am OK. Narc misinterpreted my politeness & kindness for weakness. I'm an internally strong person and he had no idea who he was messing with, now he knows. I separated all of our finances and ignore him. Keeps trying to draw me back into complacency but that is not gonna happen. Thanks for asking! 😚
What I wished I was taught at an early age was that the people who don't change and won't change are the very people you have to take out in your life. My optimistic and empathic nature became my downfall. I always gave second chances, third chances and benefit of doubt. I always was hopeful that a person of destructive nature can turn their life around. That all changed when I became the victim. Zero tolerance.
You are a good person with a heart. So sure you give chances. But if you are with a narcissist you have to learn to say NO - otherwise they will take everything from you.
@@IsabellaPiesch to go against one's genuine and kind nature was the hardest thing to do. But a necessary step in order to obtain peace and keeping the demons away. Because kindness equates to permission and opportunity to the narchole. I wish everyone set powerful boundaries to reclaim their peace! Appear cold if you need to.
I was married to a narc. We bought a home, and in the living room we had a stereo system, which my husband owned remarriage. The tape deck died and you couldn't buy them any more. I remembered I had one and while he was at work I bought it out and wired it in as a surprise for him. He was furious. He told me I was not 'allowed' to have that in the living room. It was not to stay there. I knew if I kept it there, he would break it as he had done so many of my things. I am so glad to be divorced. And guess what I have in my living room.......My tape deck!!
I spot narcissist because immediately they show their control personality. Letting you know that they are the ones that are going to be in charge. And I am right 99.9% of the time. The only difference is I didn’t know about narcissistic abuse until a couple of years ago. I didn’t know what it was called.I just know there’s a lot of people out there that are manipulative, and controlling and downright selfish and evil, and have no regard for anything but themselves. And that’s my take on it.thumbs up👍
Yeah the first time my ex went into a narcissistic rage at me (and for literally no reason,I hadn't done anything) it was absolutely terrifying and it looked like he was going to beat me, thankfully he didn't. But the rage and pure hatred towards me and his whole demeanor was scary. His eyes turned black and he looked and acted like he was possessed.
My brother is definitely possessed. One time I saw him run away screaming from me. I wasn't even doing anything but he was terrified of me. I'll never forget that look
Danish, you have exactly described these narcs literally pushing their way into your home. I have learned the red flags from you, knowledge I never got from therapists or drs. It is both wonen and men who show up an hour early at your door when it was a planned meeting at a restaurant. It is walking through your house uninvited criticizing everything in sight. It is filling every space with junk, computers, boxes, sports equipment, etc.in your home. Because you have educated us I noticed the excessive compliments (love bombing), mirroring (they like everything you like, went to same school, same birthdate, no end to this trick) It is scary. I have also noticed that glazed stare. If you call them on it, they gaslight you and will deny actions/words spoken minutes earlier. They will also steal thingsfrom your home as simple as items in your bathroom like decorator paper towels,candles etc. Talk about crazy making! I have begun to think they are actually dangerous if left unchecked. I notice some exoerts have added sadism to the dark triad. Our only defense is knowledge, going no contact, dont open the door, and stick to your boundaries. These people are vampires. I would be interested in your opinion as to how, why this appears to be a fast growing phenomena of epic proportions. Thank you again.
Here is a topic; how to detect and avoid induced conversation. I have noticed they show up or approach you very nicely to in some way reject you. For instance, they will ask you how you are or how were your holidays to leave or interrupt you when you are answering and leave you in the middle of the first sentence. Thanks, Danish. ❤
Yes! You can find information on the internet that they make only around 5% of population (which means 1 out of 20) but personally i think it is much more, at least 20%.
You're soo right. The first time I met her, she was overly physical with me, rested her leg over mine and even kissed me. This all happened in a public space with lots of people there. She "borrowed" my jacket and has yet to give it back.
Wow! This is so accurate. You can feel something is off at the beginning and that feeling gets stronger as time goes by. It reminds me of a woman who came into my church who started pressuring me to get involved with her business. I did some research and found out it was an MLM. I abruptly put a stop to her pushy attempts and kept solid boundaries. That was 2 years ago. Last week she tried to push a new product on me, and I said I’d look it up on the internet when I got home. It was another MLM 😮. Narcissistic people are very money 💰 hungry. Beware. Has this happened to you? And thank you Danish for educating us. MLM is multi level marketing. Pyramid scheme.
I had a granny-like lady come up to me at church and tell me how she was adopting children from Africa whose parents were millionaires but are now deceased. It was an incredibly long and complex story but after listening for hours it boiled down to her needing £300 for needing to release millions of these wealthy inheritors funds. Sound like a scam? All along while she was talking I was aware of this weird feeling in my body - like I was being coerced and couldn't possibly refuse. I remember that feeling from childhood. After that I sent an email to the leadership at church and informed them that she was trying to con money out of the congregation. Turned out she had scammed a few already - this cherub looking granny who smelled like marshmallows. They come in all shapes and sizes.
This is so helpful, Danish. True, there's a pressure and doesn't feel quite right. The narcometer within your body never fails, trust your gut. Thank you ❤😊
💯 i knew from the beginning, i had red flags and a bad gut feeling and ignored it ,i blame myself what was to come ,i still havant recovered for 4 years and have cptsd
Be careful; DPD, NPD, BPD, HPD, covert, intellectual, and malignant all present differently. Although they eventually exhibit the similar behaviors on a spectrum, they all wear different masks.
My narc ex is still my colleague and the smear campaign is immense and the battle I'm fighting is eternal. One thing I also found very weird at the beginning, that I always loved asking people for help if I was stuck, and was looking forward to learn something new through all the information. But when it came to ask him about something, my body refused, and I was getting really anxious. Because somewhere deep down, your body knows you're aiding a narc's ego with asking for something he knows and you don't! And it's the last thing anyone wants to do, to feed into their egocentric false self. It was genuinely a natural body reaction...very fascinating!
I have extremely good peripheral vision so I can always see that one. There's also another stair that they do. I call it the doe eye stare. They look at you with almost a look of wondrous amazement in their eyes but you know that's not actually what the look is really saying. This one's more common in women than in men. I first saw it with my sister. Since then I've seen it on a number of women
Dont feel about not being able get it all at once. This takes time bcs you cant think like them. If you feel someone is moving too fast, too many compliments, etc start by identifying the love bombing stage. If they like everything you like, from food, movies, music, etc. that is mirroring. You just identified 2 red flags......cool it That is 2 out of 5, how many more? You just need to develop the confidence in your own good judgement. God bless❤️
I am so against ANYONE coming into my home that there is no way I would allow a narc to trick me into giving an invitation. My home is my sanctuary and that is one thing that is impossible to breach. There's only two people who are allowed in and one of them is 6 years old, so I'm pretty bullet proof when it comes to someone bamboozling me that way. After a decade of narc abuse from my ex, I know he would want to push his way into my life again but since going no contact earlier this year, I'm not expecting any trouble from him. I know that sometime in the future I'll be crossing paths with him again due to things out of my control, but as I've been working on recovering from the abuse and my exhaustion surrounding it, he doesn't stand a chance. He really ruined me from having any kind of relationships with anyone, apart from my work colleagues who are all decent people. I'm not sad about that because I cherish my alone time and my solitude and I realise that I don't need anyone apart from the handful of people I have now who love and care for me naturally.
I've met some like what you're describing, but I've also met the more cunning ones that don't move too fast don't want to invade your space but insist that you invade theirs. They can now control your environment. It's also a way to control the discard when it happens. Now you're dependent on them and at their mercy.
@Krlowanigu-mg6eg When I say they insist that you invade their space: meaning they want you to live in their home under their rules and control. But you are right, it should end once this is being done
@1stBorn538 The problem is, my red pill awareness … I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a loon. But I’ve read so many stories where the guy moves into her house, life, etc., and it doesn’t work out well. I’m not sure how possible it is to have a healthy relationship without the woman turning on her man. Some of these stories are absurd. He does everything right, and she goes bonkers out of nowhere. It’s like they need to be controlled, but is that harmful to her? Maybe. It’s just sad.
I have known narcissists and now I can always tell if someone is watching me. It's that simple people please pay attention to this whether it's a narc or sociopath or just someone who wants to take advantage of you
As a longtime viewer and fan, and as a person for whom giving criticism does not come easily ( *because of* narc abuse) ... the sounds; chimes and dings, are a negative for me. "Just sayin'" ;-) Thanks for your content. You've been a source of help for me.
OMG yes. When you are in the presence of a narcissist, you will feel like they are trying to get a pulse or temperature check read on you to determine how they approach you. This is chilling to feel and it’s so creepy to know. I’ve called out my ex when I’ve felt him do that, he denied it of course, but got quiet sometimes too. But this does happen OMG ! Yes, my ex would tell me I’m crazy when I would bring up things, and it just added to the clouds in my head. So thankful I can see it now 😵💫
I never knew any of this when I was married to one for 25 years. After I got away, close to the end of my 2nd narcissistic relationship, I began learning about it. It was such a relief to find out that I wasn’t crazy!!! They try to make you think that you are, and doubt yourself so badly. Now it’s been 10 years and I haven’t dated anyone. I don’t know if I could ever trust anyone enough to give them my heart, ever again. But I’m working on it as I heal.
This explains why I always felt "pushed" all my life but did not know where it was coming from. It means for me now that the interaction has not enough motivation for me.
I have learned that when I am away from the narcissist for a month or two that my self esteem skyrockets. I feel good about myself. I wake up happy and energetic, ready to take on the world with enthusiasm. If I let the narcissist back into my life then my self esteem deteriorates even if they do not do anything outwardly wrong. They could be pretending to be interested, nice, and friendly but incrementally I am dying inside. It is like my soul is aware of their disdain and contempt of me without me actually noticing. But I do notice that I become tearful, sad, lethargic, and unloved. It is like my life becomes poisoned.
I don’t want to go into details but I can relate to how hard dealing with narcissists and selfish or crazy people can be. Let’s just say my family are.. very difficult and hard to bear except for a few.. but most of the good ones are all passed away now. I have God and He is sufficient for me, I give Him all my complaints and ask Him to guide and save the errant I know. We are only here to be tested and to worship Him alone without partners.. anything we have or have achieved is only by His mercy and provision.
Those are good initial warnings to look out for. In reality, the more dealings you have with them, the more you build up a picture that something isn't right. It's never too late to step back: remove yourself from the situation!
That look is unmistakeable. They don’t blink. They don’t have a smile or scowl. They just stare intently, like a tiger that thinks he’s spotted movement, but isn’t yet hunting. They are studying you to look for a weakness. Normal people give them a pass, and when your eyes meet, might give them a smile to relieve that mild discomfort. You’ve caught them, and their smile return is a second or two too slow. Just run.
Yup. The night my female narc used sex as a weapon, she gave me this odd "come hither" stare. It was as if she was peering into my soul and knew she could provide what i wanted. Sure enough. The devaluation stage happened a few days after we had sex.
Danish you are the BOMB. I love listening to you. I always learn something new to add to my “toolbox” when dealing with the narcissists in my life. I also love how you speak a lot about narcissistic family members. My mom and sister are both narcissists. It helps so much to learn more about the family dynamic of this. Thank you !!!
@@abhi2762 Walk away if you can. Family or not. If you can't, learn to be completely unemotional around them. Give them nothing to feed off. If they blow up on you just say in a calm tone "I'm sorry you feel that way". Remember, they feed off of your misery. Continue to learn, grow and up level. Don't tell them any of your plans and be intentional about forming strong relationships outside of your family. Never give them the benefit of the doubt no matter how much it seems that they might be "turning over a new leaf". They are not.
Yes, the eyecontact ! The different ways, you mentioned it. My mother never looks people or me in the eyes. And rolling her eyes constantly while talking about herself, and laying her hand on her chest. My sons father and my mother have the same face expression when they are screaming with the purpose of correcting or controlling me, they squeeze their eyebrows together, tightened their mouth like a chikens bud.., and there is lightning in their eyes, body tence, because they are ready to take it to the next level violence so i understand and comply to their rules. You are so god at this, so many details.
My father, by ‘best’ friend all through HS, and now I’m married to one, and after almost 24 yrs with my husband-only with the help of watching your videos-now I give what I get. I speak in the same tone as he does with me-he doesn’t like that. Too bad, neither do I. And if he gives me a stare, I stare back and he always breaks the gaze first. I thank you for your knowledge and hoping things will eventually get better now that I’m learning from you and I truly can’t thank you enough ☺️
you're simply amazinnggg... Danish! thakns as i m learning it all new... and every single thing tha you say, im relating to it, their actions, pressure and my feelings both. glad im out of it! ALhamdulillaah!
YES! I was back and forth about someone displaying narc behavior- and that pit in my stomach was telling me all along what was going on. Thank you for that support!
Oh my gosh I totally get the staring thing!! My dad is a full blown narcissist and one day my mom and I were just sitting together at the kitchen table watching something on her iPad and literally he gets up and walks into the other room, stands by the doorway, and just starts staring at us… for no reason. It was the creepiest thing I’d ever seen. My mom and I were super uncomfortable lol
Thank you Danish! You're a wealth of knowledge, I'm recovering from a narcissistic marriage which was also physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive. It was a trauma bond and I felt so attached like if I left I wouldn't be good enough for anyone else and so I should be happy with what I have with him. I've been free now for almost 4 years and left because I got pregnant and didn't want my son to feel like he was nothing like I had felt for years. Thinking about his future being better than my life was at the time gave me the strength to leave. But it's been a hard read healing from the PTSD from it all. And I'm starting to try to date again but I just keep thinking that everyone is a narcissist and I wonder what they're angle is and what they really want. But these men are probably very nice in reality. It's just hard to believe someone would actually be good to someone like me. But these kind of You Tube channels actually help a lot and I know I'm not alone.
A big thank you Danish for this succinct run-down of the early feelings of pressure that come with the narc - the intensity and repetition of what they want, then followed by visits bringing things to reciprocate. I just want to push back. A red flag to watch out for!
Gosh, I went to a new church once, and five people insisted on giving me a ride home even though I had already called a taxi. I felt something was off and never returned. Now, I know why. Thanks for sharing your insight.
Clearest example of this pressure with my mother, was when I would try to leave after visiting her, with my family, she would follow us out, killing us with her kindness. And it would not stop. Trying to be polite, we couldn’t leave. She would just keep asking my kids questions and making kind statements, however she would notstop, and being socially acceptable/polite, we couldn’t leave. It would go on over half an hour sometimes. And I would have to be somewhat rude in order to drive off. Basically shutting the car door on her while she was still talking. Then my kids wouldn’t see that I wasn’t rude, but she was.
This is so true! Danish you are amazing. I kept going because I couldn't understand why I had this feeling because he was super polite, respectful, etc.. But much later when I found myself literally in hell I understood what that was.
I know that look of a predator looking at you! I have a friend that fits every thing you are saying. Thank you for validating my feelings and thoughts. The pain is real.
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail.com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
Hope that you are on your way to healing. You don't deserve that kind of treatment. They really do seem like they are being influenced by demonic forces and seeking other people in their destructive lifestyle. Mine was cheating on me with hookers and men (I figured out later). He was sick with smelly diarrhea, STDs sores, and crabs when I left him. Thank the Lord that I had not been intimate with him for more than 10 years (20 year marriage). I escaped with my life from his daily and nightly rages.
Cool, "narcometer." Great new word! All so so so true! I'm finally figuring it all out. You are giving the most important gift of knowledge and how to recognize the preditor as my body sends clear messages before I can intellectually figure it out. Finally, at 60 years old, I'm discovering how to stay truly free and safe from being a narco-victim again.... and again.... and..... NO MORE!!!
I was in my 60s when I met a guy at a garage sale. We struck up a conversation, he seemed nice, we had coffee, and I kind of liked him but something inside me was uneasy. A few days later he showed up at my house (I had not told him where I live) And he proceeded to open my car hood and start working on my car. He came to my door and knocked, but I did not want to answer. He walked around to the back of my house and peeked in the window to find me. I told him to come around to the front door And chewed him out and told him to get out of my life. Listen to that voice inside you that is telling you something is wrong. Take action! Do not let yourself be abused.
The side look is 100% true. Its everthing demonic mixed together: jealousy, disdain, aggression. Its like virtual violence. They forcefully want you to do something. If you are a normal person and act normally, - normal means a general attitude of "I'm happy with my own energy, I'm happy and acceptant of the normal flow of things, I dont want anything from anybody, just happy to be alive" -, that's what bothers the narcissist. The demonic narcissist has its own "movie" playing in its sick inner world where you play the role of a slave. They dont know what humanness is and therefore dont treat you as a human. You are interrupting their movie play so to say. A normal criminal would say or do something that would bring him or her into jail. But a narcissits demonic energy makes the narcissit resist a definite criminal act and instead overpower you with looks, drive you crazy and make you completely gaga and compliant. Thank you Danish for your daily vlogs. I notice narcissits also by the way I feel like saying out loud: what the hell do you want?? What is it you really want??
Yes, Danish, thank you! I've felt that pressure, I always got taken in, dominated, abused more and more as the relationship goes on. I've been able to get rid of them all, acrimoniously, because by then, I'm mad. I wish I could just listen to my gut from t h e first five minutes and not let it go on BEFORE I get used and abused!!
You hit a nail on the head again Denis, the 3 points you mentioned are exactly what I have also experienced. I just didn’t know what it was back then because my head denied my gut feeling, until it was too late. The lesson learnt for me is checking with my body.
Very insightful as always. I love it because of your method of pointing attention to the wound, although painful and uncomfortable, leads to who, how and why they are causing it, which brings alleviation and a lasting healing. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Danish.
Thank you Danish for teaching us viewers of your channel. I learn a lot from you and thank you for sharing your gift of knowledge with us. God bless you
![Jack Harlow - Hello Miss Johnson [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Q86_nlRoIGw/mqdefault.jpg)
Betrayal Trauma After Narcissistic Abuse:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/livevent
Stuck in trauma bond.. 😢😢
Is there a recording of this by any chance?
Pay attention to the way life feels so lonely with them...thats a telltale sign.
My god, you are so right 👌👌👌
Yesssss
Exactly in a nutshell
That's the truth!!!
Dam right
My biggest red flag is, when you're on you're on your own you love yourself, and when you're with a narc you're insecure...you should never ever feel insecure when you're in love! That person doesn't deserve your love! Please run for the hills while you can and never look back!🙏
Yup
Great comment. Thank you!
I tried running for the hills. He just lives down the street unfortunately and kept bugging me on my phone and wanting to stop by. He used any excuse 😭 I wish he would move away.
Yep, I'm still working with mine, and they are bullying me with my narc boss hand in hand. I'm in the middle of a huge fight having to spend all my free time writing emails after emails trying to prove my right, because they are the best at looking the best. And although they've got nothing on me, it's still very daunting having to explain myself for something I haven't done and all the bullying I've been putting up with in the past few years. I just want to do my job, and you just want to live your life! I guess we both learnt our lesson for life. I wish you the best and that you'll find a way out of this impossible situation one day...hopefully sooner than later 🙏
@@wandahastings8470 And yeah, ultimately it's too late for us, hence we've ended up here trying to help those who can still be helped while we're picking up the pieces for our mistakes. 😔
Sadly, there's no doubt in my mind that narcissism is now the norm in the society I live in (USA).
Agreed, even my church is 90% narcissists. My son came into large service & he said everyone looks so mean & nasty, why are they in church if they’re adults. I told him they think it’s a get out of jail / hell free card 😅
So true. And it's only getting worse. I feel for the up and coming generations.
Not only in your country..Bro… it is in every country….. in every society… n in many many homes.. where one is being manipulated randomly by a narcissistic personality…. who is satiating his or her narcissistic demands , rage n attitudes…!!
@@suparnasaha1869 I've done plenty of traveling, and your comment rings true. I hope the human race can evolve beyond lust for selfish dominance into love of ourselves and each other before we destroy ourselves completely. Humanity has been dividing into groups and attacking itself since before recorded history. It's high time to develop our conscience.
@@joymarie3326 I can't remember the exact verse in the Bible but God is warning His People to get out of the our churches asap. My people will perish from lack of knowledge. No church building is required for Salvation. Plus all churches are controlled by the Roman Catholic Church. If you want to add anything? Please do! God bless and have a blessed day 😊♥️😇🙏
Also praise someone else in front of the narcissist and see what happens 😅
Fireworks and not in a good way!!!
YES!!! I've seen a grown ass man become visibly uncomfortable when someone was praising a skill that a CHILD had. It was sick!!
This is a good one 😂
Oh absolutely! My former coworker she would have a literal tantrum at work if someone asked me how was my vacation! Folks look at her like she crazy. One coworker told her about her self and she still had a tantrum. Selfish woman who has so much but is empty.
@@carolynbennett2735 Or Complete Silence ! !!
Also if you feel the need to defend yourself, or defend what you say~run!
Exactly and keep running never look back
❤ yes I agree 💯I have made a comment in the heat of the moment that was my truth , (I actually apologized for it , and as I wouldn't/didn't justify why I said what I said)
Omg the tantrum that happened, from them and the discard of me 😂🥳🥳🥳🥳 yahoo 😆🎉freedom 🤣) thought well yep that's nice ,gotch ya 😂😂 I count that rejection as gods protection 💯🙏
@@geraldinebyrnes3298this is properly introduced. The no looking back, there's a big reason why the leaving took place, it takes a lot to leave.
Do not feed the wolf...
This exact situation happened to me yesterday! The Lord answered my prayers and set me free.@@tanialeslie1807
Yes, because they are always paranoid instigators accusing you of something ridiculous that you are not even doing and because they believe themselves to be a badass whose entitled to be disrespectful the moment challenged is when they run off like cowards to call police and accuse you without proof like they did with me yesterday afternoon.
Tell them "No". Narcs have a viseral reaction to the word NO. Second best way is give them silence, while maintaining a lock on eye contact.
Yup told mine no to popping out second one so soon, it didn't work, didn't even get an orgasm out of it, nothing new there!
Agree
💯 no one should be that upset about you expressing a boundary ..
I have read that it's best to smile when you say no. I don't know why seems to bother them more.
I agree
The stare is a big sign! It feels creepy...like it makes your skin crawl. That's the best way I can describe it.
Yes, especially when he's across the room, and a stranger! Like they cruise the room looking for some naive female to take his bait. Being young is challenging unless you can protect yourself with the 6 MONYH RULE...🤔😵😳😦😂
The state combined with the smirk.
Dead stare (like sharks have).
Yes. She gave me this odd stare and come hither look that nobody ever has done to me.
Creepy staring for long periods of time.
Trust your instincts. We were given this gift for a reason. Let no one break it
You get it,donna! Once the realisation hit me that we were chosen for this mission, although the suffering that came before that realisation……just wow!!
The fact that narcissists overly play being "nice, kind and helpful" is to bait you. They're awkwardly invasive wanting to know everything about you to use it against you later. Everything they do has an agenda. "Think the worst and you'll be certain" always works with them. Never trust them but your own self. Thank you, Danish 🙏🏻
Exactly...They so fake.
Very well said, exactly 🙏👍💪🙋
Regardless of all the personality traits and meta communication..
The greatest indicator that you have while communicating with a narcissist is your own body..
Trust it..
Yes. Something immediately feels off but you can’t quite put a finger on what it is. That is your intuition sensing danger. If you continue to spend time around this person well we all know the stages your body, mind and spirit go through. Your body absolutely senses danger. But you want to believe in love. Thus the battle for your soul begins ..
I agree 💯! You can be insecure without being with anyone, that's when you need to work on yourself, go to therapy if you need to, but when you become insecure whilst with someone, that's a very bad omen.
After surviving a 43-year relationship with a narcissist before, I finally Left, after two children, and a lifetime of pain and suffering, I really wish this was stuff that was taught in high school. I wish there were classes for young people, not just relying on friends, family, whatever. If there were relationship classes, it would help to alleviate so many miserable relationships. If my kids were younger and unmarried, I would shut them down and make them watch, read, learn about red flags for narcissism, trauma, bonding, all of the things to look out for so that they could be happy in their relationships.
Same if I'd known this information in my 20s I could have saved myself from a lot of abuse.... I'm 62 now better late than never 😊
Same here 😢
Totally agree, there needs to be more awareness in schools and for parents to educate their children on these types of toxic people. Prevention is better than cure. Once I get my life back on track I’m going to somehow lobby for this for the UK.
I am really glad and thankful that i'm only 25 and already out of my almost 8 years of on and off relationship with my narc ex and that i had the priviledge of going to therapy (because i am borderline but i also learned a lot about narcissism there) and that i have an aunt who is a psychologist that i can talk to about everything. For a long time i thought that if im honest and have good morals then everybody is kinda the same... Oh boy i was so wrong. Now i can also wish every victim of any abuse will finally be free and happy and spread my knowledge and experiences with my friends and other people on my way so that they can be more aware and wont waste any time more with predatory people with masks on their faces. I really wish you all the best, no matter how old are you, you deserve it!
It is really sad we have to educate ourselves on the most important topic in our lives: emotions and relationships. It is awesome that we have internet nowadays, but still, most of the people dont even care to read anything that would definitely help and better their lives. Also, not everybody have access to these info. But we all know that schools dont teach us what is really important in life and its super sad
I grew up with narcissists and had to learn awareness and resistance much later.
Yes! Same here. My father was a textbook narcissist. It left me with some emotional scars, but at least I healed and learned very early on in my 20’s how to spot them a mile away.
You mentioned staring…it’s so darn true. I remember this stare, it feels like they are invading your soul through your eyes. Studying every single reaction and dilation of your pupils.
Those people who are quiet but aren't shy or because they have nothing to say. They are watching their prey before they pounce as they are sociopaths. Effy in Skins was just like that.
Never discredit your intuition
I live in a small town. There are a couple people in town, who, when they show up, everyone runs. These people are VERY nice, and seem harmless, but they are angling for something, either now or later, and those who have known them for a while, don't mess with them any more. They run. They can't put their finger on it, but I think they are covert narcissists.
It is very rare to find genuine kind people these days, its a scary world, majority of the people are jekyll & hyde
But when you honestly examine yourself, what do you find?
This explains why I avoid being the centre of attention. That predatory gaze is unsettling
When you tell them no they question it. Not everything needs an explanation yet they want to know the reason why they dont get what they want.
Yes!!!
For sure. They act like you're breaking the law when you refuse their request (demand) even if you have a very reasonable and urgent need to say "sorry, not tonight I HAVE to do this instead"
Yeah and they can always have it with explanation (no problem for me at all). They don´t like the word NO at all. (That´s just it).
and then survivors are called indecisive when they just feel pressured into doing something that is only an advantage to the narc and not for themselves
Because they want you to get their bait. They accuse you of being a coward. They do it often to make you feel like a fool in front of others.
True, Thank you for exposing their demonic personality.
How to lose a narcissist in 10 seconds or less: Act completely indifferent and apathetic to anything they say or do. They feed off your emotions. "You're so emotional! You don't even care at all do you?! Why are you so angry?! You never loved me! I don't have time for your feelings! You think you've got problems?! You're not listening to me! Everything is always all about you, what about me?! You don't even care how I'm feeling! I need to get some sleep! I don't have time for this right now! You're so sensitive! You're not fun anymore! Please stop harassing me leave me alone, you're crazy! You tricked me! You're nothing like the person I first met! You're fake! You're a liar! You don't know what love is!"
It's all bait. All of it.
"I'm tired of your feelings!". "Is not all about you!". As I was thinking it's actuality supposed to be my relationship too!!!! Was awful 13 years. Now married to a wonderful guy where none of these things are an issue!!!! They are out there. But have to sort through many haystacks to find that needle!!!!
The way you are so spot on is frightening.. this is demonic.
The problem is, that comes when you're already involved.
@@lc4972 Seems more like a hay field than a hay stack! FunnyNotFunny!
Be careful of people who need attention and are always in the center of a group.
They Are Most Charming , Confident , Joyfull Person At First Glance
Tell them the word "NO". Narcs have a real problem with the word no. The second best way, is to give them silence and maintain eye contact. See what happens.
👍🏻
Very true 😂
This guy at the gym went nuts when I told him no after he asked me to do something
Wow
😅
The silence thing is golden. About a month ago, I called my narc wife out on her behavior and called her a hypocrite. She lost her chit! I than stayed quiet while she packed up her belongings and went off on me, my family, etc. People that didn't have anything to do with the conversation, just to get a reaction out of me...
Well it didn't work on me but it did work on her teenage son, who then in turn attacked me for "disrespecting" his mom by not speaking to her. Needless to say, they are now homeless and begging to come back since no one wants them around. I wonder why
I met my narcissist when I was only 18 and fell in love. We were married for nearly 20 years but in the end it was not bearable any more and now I have been married happily for 35 years to just the best man I could hope for.
Huge blowout with my narc tonight. He tried every possible narc tactic including SCREAMING that my only sister who's been dead for TWENTY years hated me..and her at the time 2 & 4 year old babies hate me too. I just laughed and said "you have no idea what my relationship was with my sister. She actually tried to warn me against marrying a weak man like you".
Please be careful and get away asap
Ouch!!!😂😂
Run girl!
Ru OK?
@@KBM20111112 , I surely am OK. Narc misinterpreted my politeness & kindness for weakness. I'm an internally strong person and he had no idea who he was messing with, now he knows. I separated all of our finances and ignore him. Keeps trying to draw me back into complacency but that is not gonna happen. Thanks for asking! 😚
@@76482 Wow good..Stay strong n happy always✌🏻😊
What I wished I was taught at an early age was that the people who don't change and won't change are the very people you have to take out in your life.
My optimistic and empathic nature became my downfall. I always gave second chances, third chances and benefit of doubt. I always was hopeful that a person of destructive nature can turn their life around.
That all changed when I became the victim.
Zero tolerance.
You are a good person with a heart. So sure you give chances. But if you are with a narcissist you have to learn to say NO - otherwise they will take everything from you.
Same happened with me too.
@@Akasanaesp Same here
@@IsabellaPiesch to go against one's genuine and kind nature was the hardest thing to do. But a necessary step in order to obtain peace and keeping the demons away. Because kindness equates to permission and opportunity to the narchole.
I wish everyone set powerful boundaries to reclaim their peace!
Appear cold if you need to.
I was married to a narc. We bought a home, and in the living room we had a stereo system, which my husband owned remarriage. The tape deck died and you couldn't buy them any more. I remembered I had one and while he was at work I bought it out and wired it in as a surprise for him. He was furious. He told me I was not 'allowed' to have that in the living room. It was not to stay there. I knew if I kept it there, he would break it as he had done so many of my things. I am so glad to be divorced. And guess what I have in my living room.......My tape deck!!
No respect for my things, never occurred to me that’s another sign of who they are.
@@seagirl1100 they have rage like a spoiled toddler.
I spot narcissist because immediately they show their control personality. Letting you know that they are the ones that are going to be in charge. And I am right 99.9% of the time. The only difference is I didn’t know about narcissistic abuse until a couple of years ago. I didn’t know what it was called.I just know there’s a lot of people out there that are manipulative, and controlling and downright selfish and evil, and have no regard for anything but themselves. And that’s my take on it.thumbs up👍
Marie you are so right. I could have written this myself. You are not alone
Yes! The moment someone says “you should,” I’m gone!
The narcissist definitely acts possessed, like a demon
Yes, unfortunately that can only be seen by those who see them turn in and off the charm in a big way!
I told him his jinn likes staring at my aura and he agreed !
They are demons!
Yeah the first time my ex went into a narcissistic rage at me (and for literally no reason,I hadn't done anything) it was absolutely terrifying and it looked like he was going to beat me, thankfully he didn't. But the rage and pure hatred towards me and his whole demeanor was scary. His eyes turned black and he looked and acted like he was possessed.
My brother is definitely possessed. One time I saw him run away screaming from me. I wasn't even doing anything but he was terrified of me. I'll never forget that look
Danish, you have exactly described these narcs literally pushing their way into your home. I have learned the red flags from you, knowledge I never got from therapists or drs. It is both wonen and men who show up an hour early at your door when it was a planned meeting at a restaurant. It is walking through your house uninvited criticizing everything in sight. It is filling every space with junk, computers, boxes, sports equipment, etc.in your home. Because you have educated us I noticed the excessive compliments (love bombing), mirroring (they like everything you like, went to same school, same birthdate, no end to this trick) It is scary. I have also noticed that glazed stare. If you call them on it, they gaslight you and will deny actions/words spoken minutes earlier. They will also steal thingsfrom your home as simple as items in your bathroom like decorator paper towels,candles etc. Talk about crazy making! I have begun to think they are actually dangerous if left unchecked. I notice some exoerts have added sadism to the dark triad. Our only defense is knowledge, going no contact, dont open the door, and stick to your boundaries. These people are vampires. I would be interested in your opinion as to how, why this appears to be a fast growing phenomena of epic proportions. Thank you again.
I think they have always been there, but no one really talked about it....There wasn't a label as such.
My narc mother literally stole a fork from my house! 🙄
Answer:
Social media and cell phone cameras.
It feeds their ego driven illness.
This is very very true. Thank you for clarifying this. I have witnessed this with the suppression of the feeling of being covertly pressured.
Here is a topic; how to detect and avoid induced conversation.
I have noticed they show up or approach you very nicely to in some way reject you. For instance, they will ask you how you are or how were your holidays to leave or interrupt you when you are answering and leave you in the middle of the first sentence.
Thanks, Danish. ❤
Correct. And then ask what were you saying? 😂
Wow that is so so true!!
Conclusion:there is no love at first sight...
There's definitely lust at first sight though. Too many people get confused between those feelings.
I agree.@@Jason-Moon
Probably. However I can still get charmed if faced with my type of a person, in appearance and manners.
We were either too much in our heads or hearts. Romanticizing the relationship.
No, but there IS physical attraction that allows us to jump in with our eyes shut tight. Just remember the 6 MONTH RULE
I can’t believe how many there are around! It’s frightening!
If someone suggests they're doing something wrong or says/does something that causes them shame, they attack...
Being with a covert for 15 years and educating myself for almost a year...Now I can smell narcs miles away! And they are everywhere!!!!
Yes! You can find information on the internet that they make only around 5% of population (which means 1 out of 20) but personally i think it is much more, at least 20%.
That's the scariest part.
You're soo right. The first time I met her, she was overly physical with me, rested her leg over mine and even kissed me. This all happened in a public space with lots of people there. She "borrowed" my jacket and has yet to give it back.
Wow! This is so accurate. You can feel something is off at the beginning and that feeling gets stronger as time goes by. It reminds me of a woman who came into my church who started pressuring me to get involved with her business. I did some research and found out it was an MLM. I abruptly put a stop to her pushy attempts and kept solid boundaries. That was 2 years ago. Last week she tried to push a new product on me, and I said I’d look it up on the internet when I got home. It was another MLM 😮. Narcissistic people are very money 💰 hungry. Beware. Has this happened to you? And thank you Danish for educating us. MLM is multi level marketing. Pyramid scheme.
I had a granny-like lady come up to me at church and tell me how she was adopting children from Africa whose parents were millionaires but are now deceased. It was an incredibly long and complex story but after listening for hours it boiled down to her needing £300 for needing to release millions of these wealthy inheritors funds. Sound like a scam? All along while she was talking I was aware of this weird feeling in my body - like I was being coerced and couldn't possibly refuse. I remember that feeling from childhood. After that I sent an email to the leadership at church and informed them that she was trying to con money out of the congregation. Turned out she had scammed a few already - this cherub looking granny who smelled like marshmallows. They come in all shapes and sizes.
Not every actor is a narcissist but every narcissist is an actor.
This is so helpful, Danish. True, there's a pressure and doesn't feel quite right. The narcometer within your body never fails, trust your gut. Thank you ❤😊
You are so right about this. They cannot help their controlling nature.
their actions speak louder than words.
💯 i knew from the beginning, i had red flags and a bad gut feeling and ignored it ,i blame myself what was to come ,i still havant recovered for 4 years and have cptsd
So very true "force Entry", "try to charm", "act strict or busy yet forcing moves", "no eye contact yet someone gazing when i least notice"
I am a NARCHOUND . I can smell them a mile away.
Hopefully more and more people will be able to sniff them out when they find Danish's videos.
Be careful; DPD, NPD, BPD, HPD, covert, intellectual, and malignant all present differently. Although they eventually exhibit the similar behaviors on a spectrum, they all wear different masks.
Can I borrow your nose?😂
Wow, yeah can I borrow your mind, too?
@@MC4EXPLOSIVE too cut for such a sad situation, Glad that you can laugh about it now.
My narc ex is still my colleague and the smear campaign is immense and the battle I'm fighting is eternal. One thing I also found very weird at the beginning, that I always loved asking people for help if I was stuck, and was looking forward to learn something new through all the information. But when it came to ask him about something, my body refused, and I was getting really anxious. Because somewhere deep down, your body knows you're aiding a narc's ego with asking for something he knows and you don't! And it's the last thing anyone wants to do, to feed into their egocentric false self. It was genuinely a natural body reaction...very fascinating!
Turn around quickly and catch them in a jealous sneer.🤨
I have extremely good peripheral vision so I can always see that one. There's also another stair that they do. I call it the doe eye stare. They look at you with almost a look of wondrous amazement in their eyes but you know that's not actually what the look is really saying. This one's more common in women than in men. I first saw it with my sister. Since then I've seen it on a number of women
I have seen it many times
@@TrevorHamberger with Meghan Markle.
@@justChrisjones I wouldn't have thought of that but that's probably the perfect analogy for what I was trying to say
😮This is real! And they always walking behind you while shopping 🛒
Still learning...finding I am still falling into the traps of narcissists.
Thank you.
Dont feel about not being able get it all at once. This takes time bcs you cant think like them. If you feel someone is moving too fast, too many compliments, etc start by identifying the love bombing stage. If they like everything you like, from food, movies, music, etc. that is mirroring. You just identified 2 red flags......cool it That is 2 out of 5, how many more? You just need to develop the confidence in your own good judgement. God bless❤️
Why you think so?
You might be a magnet for them. It tales a little time to know someone. Dont hive up, just use the time that You need ❤️
I am so against ANYONE coming into my home that there is no way I would allow a narc to trick me into giving an invitation. My home is my sanctuary and that is one thing that is impossible to breach. There's only two people who are allowed in and one of them is 6 years old, so I'm pretty bullet proof when it comes to someone bamboozling me that way. After a decade of narc abuse from my ex, I know he would want to push his way into my life again but since going no contact earlier this year, I'm not expecting any trouble from him. I know that sometime in the future I'll be crossing paths with him again due to things out of my control, but as I've been working on recovering from the abuse and my exhaustion surrounding it, he doesn't stand a chance.
He really ruined me from having any kind of relationships with anyone, apart from my work colleagues who are all decent people. I'm not sad about that because I cherish my alone time and my solitude and I realise that I don't need anyone apart from the handful of people I have now who love and care for me naturally.
I've met some like what you're describing, but I've also met the more cunning ones that don't move too fast don't want to invade your space but insist that you invade theirs. They can now control your environment. It's also a way to control the discard when it happens. Now you're dependent on them and at their mercy.
When they accuse you of invading their space make full stop and end the story.
@Krlowanigu-mg6eg
When I say they insist that you invade their space: meaning they want you to live in their home under their rules and control. But you are right, it should end once this is being done
@1stBorn538 The problem is, my red pill awareness … I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a loon. But I’ve read so many stories where the guy moves into her house, life, etc., and it doesn’t work out well. I’m not sure how possible it is to have a healthy relationship without the woman turning on her man. Some of these stories are absurd. He does everything right, and she goes bonkers out of nowhere. It’s like they need to be controlled, but is that harmful to her? Maybe. It’s just sad.
I have known narcissists and now I can always tell if someone is watching me. It's that simple people please pay attention to this whether it's a narc or sociopath or just someone who wants to take advantage of you
As a longtime viewer and fan, and as a person for whom giving criticism does not come easily ( *because of* narc abuse) ... the sounds; chimes and dings, are a negative for me. "Just sayin'" ;-)
Thanks for your content. You've been a source of help for me.
OMG yes. When you are in the presence of a narcissist, you will feel like they are trying to get a pulse or temperature check read on you to determine how they approach you. This is chilling to feel and it’s so creepy to know. I’ve called out my ex when I’ve felt him do that, he denied it of course, but got quiet sometimes too. But this does happen OMG ! Yes, my ex would tell me I’m crazy when I would bring up things, and it just added to the clouds in my head. So thankful I can see it now 😵💫
I never knew any of this when I was married to one for 25 years. After I got away, close to the end of my 2nd narcissistic relationship, I began learning about it. It was such a relief to find out that I wasn’t crazy!!! They try to make you think that you are, and doubt yourself so badly. Now it’s been 10 years and I haven’t dated anyone. I don’t know if I could ever trust anyone enough to give them my heart, ever again. But I’m working on it as I heal.
Never too late. We all feel this way bcs we dont think like they do.
The silent pressure pervading the butterfly feeling is so true. One is not relaxed and there is a feeling of confusion all the time.
This explains why I always felt "pushed" all my life but did not know where it was coming from. It means for me now that the interaction has not enough motivation for me.
I always thought the narcissist stared at me because of my disability. Now I know he was staring at me because he looked at me as prey. How sick?
Omg, I thought it was just me, I didn't know this was a thing! Thanks for validating this.
Extremely good advice. Thank you.
I have learned that when I am away from the narcissist for a month or two that my self esteem skyrockets. I feel good about myself. I wake up happy and energetic, ready to take on the world with enthusiasm. If I let the narcissist back into my life then my self esteem deteriorates even if they do not do anything outwardly wrong. They could be pretending to be interested, nice, and friendly but incrementally I am dying inside. It is like my soul is aware of their disdain and contempt of me without me actually noticing. But I do notice that I become tearful, sad, lethargic, and unloved. It is like my life becomes poisoned.
Why is that 😮
I don’t want to go into details but I can relate to how hard dealing with narcissists and selfish or crazy people can be. Let’s just say my family are.. very difficult and hard to bear except for a few.. but most of the good ones are all passed away now. I have God and He is sufficient for me, I give Him all my complaints and ask Him to guide and save the errant I know. We are only here to be tested and to worship Him alone without partners.. anything we have or have achieved is only by His mercy and provision.
Narcometer working 💯
Lol I'm gonna steal this phrase
Narcometer! That is a good one😂
Those are good initial warnings to look out for. In reality, the more dealings you have with them, the more you build up a picture that something isn't right. It's never too late to step back: remove yourself from the situation!
The last 10 years narcs have tried to invite themselves over to my house and I never realised why they were targeting me only.
That look is unmistakeable. They don’t blink. They don’t have a smile or scowl. They just stare intently, like a tiger that thinks he’s spotted movement, but isn’t yet hunting. They are studying you to look for a weakness.
Normal people give them a pass, and when your eyes meet, might give them a smile to relieve that mild discomfort. You’ve caught them, and their smile return is a second or two too slow.
Just run.
Yup. The night my female narc used sex as a weapon, she gave me this odd "come hither" stare. It was as if she was peering into my soul and knew she could provide what i wanted. Sure enough. The devaluation stage happened a few days after we had sex.
Danish you are the BOMB. I love listening to you. I always learn something new to add to my “toolbox” when dealing with the narcissists in my life. I also love how you speak a lot about narcissistic family members. My mom and sister are both narcissists. It helps so much to learn more about the family dynamic of this. Thank you !!!
How u handle 2 narcissts in a family, dont u feel worried abt ur future, pls reply as m facing similar thing
@@abhi2762 Walk away if you can. Family or not. If you can't, learn to be completely unemotional around them. Give them nothing to feed off. If they blow up on you just say in a calm tone "I'm sorry you feel that way". Remember, they feed off of your misery. Continue to learn, grow and up level. Don't tell them any of your plans and be intentional about forming strong relationships outside of your family. Never give them the benefit of the doubt no matter how much it seems that they might be "turning over a new leaf". They are not.
Yes, the eyecontact ! The different ways, you mentioned it. My mother never looks people or me in the eyes. And rolling her eyes constantly while talking about herself, and laying her hand on her chest. My sons father and my mother have the same face expression when they are screaming with the purpose of correcting or controlling me, they squeeze their eyebrows together, tightened their mouth like a chikens bud.., and there is lightning in their eyes, body tence, because they are ready to take it to the next level violence so i understand and comply to their rules. You are so god at this, so many details.
This is amazing, I have felt that obligation from people who later used me! What a short cut!
My father, by ‘best’ friend all through HS, and now I’m married to one, and after almost 24 yrs with my husband-only with the help of watching your videos-now I give what I get. I speak in the same tone as he does with me-he doesn’t like that. Too bad, neither do I. And if he gives me a stare, I stare back and he always breaks the gaze first. I thank you for your knowledge and hoping things will eventually get better now that I’m learning from you and I truly can’t thank you enough ☺️
Bell ringing is disturbing... video is eye opener.thank you Danish..
Leaving Narcassist is the only option.
Whyyyyy ur so good & accurate @ narcissism subject 😂
you're simply amazinnggg... Danish! thakns as i m learning it all new... and every single thing tha you say, im relating to it, their actions, pressure and my feelings both. glad im out of it! ALhamdulillaah!
YES! I was back and forth about someone displaying narc behavior- and that pit in my stomach was telling me all along what was going on. Thank you for that support!
Oh my gosh I totally get the staring thing!! My dad is a full blown narcissist and one day my mom and I were just sitting together at the kitchen table watching something on her iPad and literally he gets up and walks into the other room, stands by the doorway, and just starts staring at us… for no reason. It was the creepiest thing I’d ever seen. My mom and I were super uncomfortable lol
Thank you Danish! You're a wealth of knowledge, I'm recovering from a narcissistic marriage which was also physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive. It was a trauma bond and I felt so attached like if I left I wouldn't be good enough for anyone else and so I should be happy with what I have with him. I've been free now for almost 4 years and left because I got pregnant and didn't want my son to feel like he was nothing like I had felt for years. Thinking about his future being better than my life was at the time gave me the strength to leave. But it's been a hard read healing from the PTSD from it all. And I'm starting to try to date again but I just keep thinking that everyone is a narcissist and I wonder what they're angle is and what they really want. But these men are probably very nice in reality. It's just hard to believe someone would actually be good to someone like me. But these kind of You Tube channels actually help a lot and I know I'm not alone.
A big thank you Danish for this succinct run-down of the early feelings of pressure that come with the narc - the intensity and repetition of what they want, then followed by visits bringing things to reciprocate. I just want to push back. A red flag to watch out for!
Bro, all this is so true, bro!
We feel assured each time you speak. We realize how truly well, about these sick rascals, You Know. 🙏🏻
Gosh, I went to a new church once, and five people insisted on giving me a ride home even though I had already called a taxi. I felt something was off and never returned. Now, I know why. Thanks for sharing your insight.
Clearest example of this pressure with my mother, was when I would try to leave after visiting her, with my family, she would follow us out, killing us with her kindness. And it would not stop. Trying to be polite, we couldn’t leave. She would just keep asking my kids questions and making kind statements, however she would notstop, and being socially acceptable/polite, we couldn’t leave. It would go on over half an hour sometimes. And I would have to be somewhat rude in order to drive off. Basically shutting the car door on her while she was still talking. Then my kids wouldn’t see that I wasn’t rude, but she was.
This is so true! Danish you are amazing.
I kept going because I couldn't understand why I had this feeling because he was super polite, respectful, etc.. But much later when I found myself literally in hell I understood what that was.
I know that look of a predator looking at you! I have a friend that fits every thing you are saying. Thank you for validating my feelings and thoughts. The pain is real.
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail.com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
Hope that you are on your way to healing. You don't deserve that kind of treatment. They really do seem like they are being influenced by demonic forces and seeking other people in their destructive lifestyle. Mine was cheating on me with hookers and men (I figured out later). He was sick with smelly diarrhea, STDs sores, and crabs when I left him. Thank the Lord that I had not been intimate with him for more than 10 years (20 year marriage). I escaped with my life from his daily and nightly rages.
God bless you! Thank you for your service and for this post. Yes, no contact is the only solution because the prognosis is poor to zero.
It was about 8 months before he started showing any of this and then it just didn't stop.
Cool, "narcometer." Great new word! All so so so true! I'm finally figuring it all out. You are giving the most important gift of knowledge and how to recognize the preditor as my body sends clear messages before I can intellectually figure it out.
Finally, at 60 years old, I'm discovering how to stay truly free and safe from being a narco-victim again.... and again.... and.....
NO MORE!!!
I was in my 60s when I met a guy at a garage sale. We struck up a conversation, he seemed nice, we had coffee, and I kind of liked him but something inside me was uneasy. A few days later he showed up at my house (I had not told him where I live) And he proceeded to open my car hood and start working on my car. He came to my door and knocked, but I did not want to answer. He walked around to the back of my house and peeked in the window to find me. I told him to come around to the front door And chewed him out and told him to get out of my life. Listen to that voice inside you that is telling you something is wrong. Take action! Do not let yourself be abused.
The side look is 100% true. Its everthing demonic mixed together: jealousy, disdain, aggression. Its like virtual violence. They forcefully want you to do something. If you are a normal person and act normally, - normal means a general attitude of "I'm happy with my own energy, I'm happy and acceptant of the normal flow of things, I dont want anything from anybody, just happy to be alive" -, that's what bothers the narcissist. The demonic narcissist has its own "movie" playing in its sick inner world where you play the role of a slave. They dont know what humanness is and therefore dont treat you as a human. You are interrupting their movie play so to say. A normal criminal would say or do something that would bring him or her into jail. But a narcissits demonic energy makes the narcissit resist a definite criminal act and instead overpower you with looks, drive you crazy and make you completely gaga and compliant.
Thank you Danish for your daily vlogs.
I notice narcissits also by the way I feel like saying out loud: what the hell do you want?? What is it you really want??
Danish, can you please talk about narc fam , especially adult kids ?
Your videos have helped me tremendously!!!
Thank you...❤❤
Great video. The constant beeping sound?! Distracting.
This is exactly what it feels like! Very accurately described.
Yes, Danish, thank you! I've felt that pressure, I always got taken in, dominated, abused more and more as the relationship goes on. I've been able to get rid of them all, acrimoniously, because by then, I'm mad. I wish I could just listen to my gut from t h e first five minutes and not let it go on BEFORE I get used and abused!!
You hit a nail on the head again Denis, the 3 points you mentioned are exactly what I have also experienced. I just didn’t know what it was back then because my head denied my gut feeling, until it was too late. The lesson learnt for me is checking with my body.
Very insightful as always. I love it because of your method of pointing attention to the wound, although painful and uncomfortable, leads to who, how and why they are causing it, which brings alleviation and a lasting healing. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Danish.
Narco-meter ....I will be using this one henceforth
This is so right about my bff from 10 years!!
Spot on Danish! Everything what you said exactly what narcs are all about. Thank you.
Thank you. Hindsight is 20/20.
Thank you Danish for teaching us viewers of your channel. I learn a lot from you and thank you for sharing your gift of knowledge with us. God bless you
' These vampires are always evolving" 😂 you made be laugh😅