What rich old men do with their money

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  • Опубликовано: 24 мар 2021
  • I was inspired by the hilarious video @Sam O'Nella Academy did on Timothy Dexter ( • Timothy Dexter: The Du... ) and so created my own version of the story.
    No matter how unbelievable this story gets, remember, it's true!
    Time Stamp:
    #1 -- "Timothy Dexter" -- 0:37 -- The most absurd rags to riches story ever...
    Bloopers -- 14:14
    Check out the rest of this Historical Legends series 👇
    👉 • This man was the Nazi'...
    Most popular series: "Top 3 places you CAN'T GO & people who went anyways..." 👇
    👉 • Top 3 places you CAN'T...
    🔊 For more NEW stories check out the "MrBallen Podcast: Strange, Dark and Mysterious Stories" which is available on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts - www.amazon.com/mrballenpodcast
    ♥️ The MrBallen Foundation is a registered 501(c)(3) non-profit that honors & supports people impacted by violent crime go to 👉 MrBallen.Foundation 👉 and click on Get Involved to join the Honor Them Society, and receive free gifts and exclusive invites to special live events!
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    Please post story suggestions on our subreddit 👉 r/mrballen ( / mrballen )
    Please sneak into the Like Button's house and lightly toast all of their bread, and then put it back in the bag. Also please subscribe/turn on all notifications so you don't miss any of our 3+ weekly stories!
    For entertainment purposes only. Based on actual events.
    Thumbnail + final edits by Wes Adams:
    TikTok @wesjadams
    Instagram @wesjadams
    Theme Song: "Something Wicked" - www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zuw_O...
    ('Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License')
    Theme Song by: @RossBugden
    Story Music by: @co.agmusic
    Intro video by :
    Tiktok @mr.poopnite
    Instagram @mr.poopnite_
    DISCLAIMER: All materials in these videos are used for entertainment purposes and fall within the guidelines of fair use. No copyright infringement intended. If you are, or represent, the copyright owner of materials used in this video, and have an issue with the use of said material, please send an email to mrballenmanagement@gmail.com.
    Copyright © 2021 MrBallen. All rights reserved.
    #history #funny #mrballen
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    Nothing to see down here...
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    Seriously, no need to keep scrolling.
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    You are at the end. Nothing more exists beyond this. Promise.
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    What are you looking for? There is nothing else here.
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    OK, we lied, there's more....
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    ☠︎ Found the secret easter egg in today's video? Be the 1st to comment what it is and where it occurs in the video, and you will get pinned!! ☠︎

Комментарии • 13 тыс.

  • @UgherzCookies
    @UgherzCookies 3 года назад +2032

    1:08 those car dealer ship men at the bottom of the screen.

    • @DogTown90291
      @DogTown90291 3 года назад +117

      I don’t see it ! ????

    • @UgherzCookies
      @UgherzCookies 3 года назад +56

      @@DogTown90291 next to his right arm on the bottom of the screen.

    • @WompWomp10190
      @WompWomp10190 3 года назад +39

      I could not find it but then I looked closely and saw it good eye

    • @UgherzCookies
      @UgherzCookies 3 года назад +12

      @@WompWomp10190 thanks

    • @ASP312Productions
      @ASP312Productions 3 года назад +30

      How did you see that

  • @negativesanchez
    @negativesanchez 3 года назад +7634

    Timothy: "such a tragedy that my wife passed away."
    Elizabeth: "stop telling people im dead."
    Timothy: "sometimes I can still hear her voice."

  • @theworldwillhelpus1187
    @theworldwillhelpus1187 2 года назад +3375

    This man even made it on Mr ballen without anything tragic happening to him HIS LUCK IS EPIC

    • @bentonrp
      @bentonrp 2 года назад +72

      Ahahaha! 🤣 Now you're telling me things about this guy that are actually scaring me! How can someone be this fortunate?

    • @seleuf
      @seleuf 2 года назад +18

      his wife tho

    • @Aden288
      @Aden288 2 года назад +85

      @@seleuf Truly ghosted.

    • @youto826
      @youto826 2 года назад +14

      Oh man thats true honestly insane he didnt even come close to death like that

    • @MrLopez863
      @MrLopez863 2 года назад

      Lol

  • @Mikej1592
    @Mikej1592 6 месяцев назад +257

    wow Timothy is like the real life version of someone that puts all their skill points into luck. Seriously how lucky can someone get, that is insane.

    • @bd12544
      @bd12544 4 месяца назад +6

      Yeah, it’s like he’s white and male or something.

    • @dreadcthulhu5
      @dreadcthulhu5 4 месяца назад +20

      @@bd12544 😐🙄

    • @Orphioux
      @Orphioux 4 месяца назад +1

      ​@@bd12544Oh yeah it's so good, I went into the bank the other day and they said my account was empty but I really needed to buy some food because I was so hungry, luckily the bank teller noticed I was white and just started handing me hundred dollar bills, there were too many to count! Dickhead.

    • @napalmballwipes
      @napalmballwipes 3 месяца назад +2

      Dude I've heard my grandpa say sending coal to Newcastle whenever I asked something dumb because his dad said it or something and this guy happened to send it the same week a complete strike happened which was such a short period the saying was still used after

    • @cranexdragon1046
      @cranexdragon1046 3 месяца назад

      @@bd12544someone needs to go get lost

  • @itslitgamestv6827
    @itslitgamestv6827 9 месяцев назад +592

    This man made it onto a MrBallen video without anything bad happening. Now that is pure luck!

    • @meganleslie9069
      @meganleslie9069 4 месяца назад +45

      Apparently that's what Timothy is made of

    • @angelvirola9611
      @angelvirola9611 4 месяца назад +8

      Should of know from the change in music huh 😂

    • @angelamarie88
      @angelamarie88 3 месяца назад +6

      According to Wikipedia, this seems pretty bad: "Timothy frequently told visitors that his wife (who was actually alive) had died, and that the woman frequenting the building was simply her ghost. In one notable episode, Dexter faked his own death to see how people would react, and about 3,000 people attended Dexter's mock wake. When Dexter did not see his wife cry, he revealed the hoax and promptly caned her for not sufficiently mourning his death."

    • @Jeudaos
      @Jeudaos 3 месяца назад

      holy shit, your right!

    • @n8guy
      @n8guy 3 месяца назад

      He died! Twice!

  • @JediMentat
    @JediMentat 3 года назад +2289

    When God created Timothy, he put ALL his points into the LUCK skill

  • @apacifistmachinegunner669
    @apacifistmachinegunner669 3 года назад +845

    “ Timothy decided he didn’t really like his wife anymore.”
    🤣

    • @NoName-fm2cy
      @NoName-fm2cy 3 года назад +33

      Fucking beats her... no sh!t hahaha

    • @MadMan_123
      @MadMan_123 3 года назад +63

      Wait didnt she originally make him rich😂😂😂😂😂

    • @stevemorris2364
      @stevemorris2364 3 года назад +19

      I wonder if he realized that before or after the cane beating

    • @HaveAGoodDayFk.U
      @HaveAGoodDayFk.U 3 года назад +3

      My name must be timothy.lol

    • @tommytaylor2084
      @tommytaylor2084 3 года назад +2

      Relatable 😂

  • @unrealmemories1351
    @unrealmemories1351 7 месяцев назад +104

    The shenanigans the other rich people put Timothy up to were Acme level hilarity.

  • @Stoy981
    @Stoy981 4 месяца назад +42

    Done well, Timothy Dexter’s story would make a fantastic movie.

  • @ZNA_Productions
    @ZNA_Productions 3 года назад +8311

    That punctuation thing at the end was actually a total boss move hahaha. What a gamer.

    • @crowmedicine3890
      @crowmedicine3890 3 года назад +75

      Hilarious! I'm dying

    • @JackG79
      @JackG79 3 года назад +103

      I agree... that was actually pretty fucking awesome!!

    • @thereliablyuncoolguy8082
      @thereliablyuncoolguy8082 3 года назад +8

      Are you still suffering from small poc?

    • @MissSeaSea
      @MissSeaSea 3 года назад +24

      I was like EPICCCC

    • @nelsonx5326
      @nelsonx5326 3 года назад +51

      And he invented 'stream of consciousness writing' nearly 200 years before Jack Kerouac.

  • @LocsNdimples
    @LocsNdimples Год назад +1259

    He truly lived a life of “ignorance is bliss”.

    • @JohnDoe-eo1op
      @JohnDoe-eo1op 8 месяцев назад +23

      I like to imagine God had his back, like thats what happens when you're spiteful to people know? HAHA

    • @miapdx503
      @miapdx503 8 месяцев назад +1

      Yes, that "willful ignorance." When your ignorance is a choice...🙊🙉🙈

    • @NathalieGrows
      @NathalieGrows 7 месяцев назад +7

      @@JohnDoe-eo1opyessss I believe so I think God had his back because people were cruel and tried to take advantage of him and he got paid back ten or a hundred times

    • @michaeldoran4367
      @michaeldoran4367 4 месяца назад

      MASSIVELY GIRTHY KOK SEEN POKING THROUGH A TOWEL AT THE COMMUNITY POOL. THE KOK LOOKS LIKE AN ENORMOUS SNAKE WRIGGLING AROUND IN THE AMAZON JUNGLE. SPECTACULARLY HUGE GIRTHY VEINY ERECT KOK

    • @michaeldoran4367
      @michaeldoran4367 4 месяца назад

      Timothy sounds like he is about average intelligence for 2024

  • @OnnenkeksiYT
    @OnnenkeksiYT 5 месяцев назад +114

    Timothy just went from poor to extremely rich by doing what he thought was a great deal. Never to expect his "rich friends" to try and ruin him but actually made him richer every time.
    I will always view this story as an example of how life can go even when the odds don't add up.

    • @malumkishin8608
      @malumkishin8608 4 месяца назад +2

      Or a example of the Upper Class trying to screw over someone of Lower-Class and the world handing them L after L after L.

    • @bd12544
      @bd12544 4 месяца назад

      There’s no “dumb luck” like white male dumb luck. Repulsive.

    • @DefeatLust
      @DefeatLust 18 дней назад

      ​@@malumkishin8608 Or an example of EXTREMELY, unbelievable, and absolute dumb luck. When compared to the thousands and thousands of stories that went the opposite way, his story should serve as a reminder that lottery wins do exist and you shouldn't ever depend on them.

    • @sonicartzldesignerclan5763
      @sonicartzldesignerclan5763 14 дней назад

      @@malumkishin8608 Bro the reason you view them as up and low class cause of the money they process tell me you know nothing of this world
      They wanted to bring him down but not cause he was a " low " class
      Bro were not in a hollywood movie.

  • @bcav712
    @bcav712 4 месяца назад +25

    Timothy might be one of the single most amazing men to have ever lived.

  • @DarkNight-zo5ci
    @DarkNight-zo5ci Год назад +1189

    I love how everyone banded together to defeat Timmy but his ignorance prevailed every time.

    • @TheMomseloc
      @TheMomseloc 9 месяцев назад +9

      Kinda like Twitter, huh?

    • @joesands8860
      @joesands8860 9 месяцев назад +47

      Why doesn't my ignorance ever work out in my favor?
      Once, just once is all I ask.

    • @miapdx503
      @miapdx503 8 месяцев назад +4

      That willful ignorance...🙈🙉🙊

    • @malumkishin8608
      @malumkishin8608 4 месяца назад +16

      Bro you know that everyone was pissed,like you do all this and every time you try to ruin this man he wins.....knowing how things were back then I'm surprised people weren't thinking this man was being blessed by God or something cause holy hell.

    • @youniverse6841
      @youniverse6841 3 месяца назад +3

      😂 It's sad but so funny the way you put it!

  • @Jaketheaxman
    @Jaketheaxman 3 года назад +1853

    This guy literally profited off of people who criticized him. What a Goddamn badass

  • @donnas.1075
    @donnas.1075 9 месяцев назад +5

    This one is hilarious! I love how all the aristocrats plans kept backfiring and Timothy just got richer & richer. Talk about karma!

  • @destiny.on.the.phone.
    @destiny.on.the.phone. 5 месяцев назад +17

    Bro ... This is like the most epic story EVER! Thank you so much for covering it!

  • @kf7721
    @kf7721 3 года назад +3103

    It's nice to hear a story once in awhile where the main character doesn't get stuck in a cave and suffocate or drown. And that it worked out for the cats.

    • @xeddtech
      @xeddtech 3 года назад +108

      They got a bunch of free meals, and got to bask in beautiful Asiatic sunshine. Indeed. Everyone was a winner.. Except for those nobles.

    • @bt7594
      @bt7594 3 года назад +48

      @@xeddtech and the rats lol

    • @wendys390
      @wendys390 3 года назад +49

      I have to wonder what THAT journey was like. I have enough of a time getting mine to a vet.

    • @ryanicosworld2353
      @ryanicosworld2353 3 года назад +41

      Please make more non horror stories please. You are so versatile with your story telling talent.

    • @13oct1992
      @13oct1992 3 года назад +7

      Best comment

  • @detcordxxxi
    @detcordxxxi 3 года назад +608

    A 2nd grade drop out who can't read, write, or think critically is literally all we elect nowadays. He was just ahead of his time.

  • @jordanlee2009
    @jordanlee2009 8 месяцев назад +6

    Wtf ?! 😂😂 how bloody lucky can you get ! I love that MrBallen put out takes at end too i bet it took a few attempts to get thru recording without bursting into hysterics 😂

  • @johnmaltese7821
    @johnmaltese7821 Год назад +24

    I love how you tell legitimately scary things and every so often, a gem like this.

  • @ItaK-ql7yz
    @ItaK-ql7yz 3 года назад +1273

    It's like Timothy was created with all of the luck in the universe.

    • @bitchtarts
      @bitchtarts 3 года назад +56

      All the luck none of the intelligence

    • @cats_are_love
      @cats_are_love 3 года назад +48

      @@bitchtarts what do u need smarts, if u have the happies

    • @maureenhardy836
      @maureenhardy836 3 года назад +18

      Forrest Gump??

    • @anonanonsen9829
      @anonanonsen9829 3 года назад +25

      reminds me of my fallout 4 character with 10 luck 1 intellignece

    • @LoneWoIfPack19
      @LoneWoIfPack19 3 года назад +5

      Right?!?! Somehow even more then Forest Gump.

  • @MW93249
    @MW93249 3 года назад +4543

    I used to be a fan but while listening to this masterpiece I am a whole air conditioner now

  • @cl3488
    @cl3488 5 месяцев назад +11

    I love this story. I would like to hear more of these light-hearted strange stories.

    • @bd12544
      @bd12544 4 месяца назад

      It was dark A F.
      White men S U C K.

  • @johnsducks9816
    @johnsducks9816 8 месяцев назад +12

    Wow this guy sounds like an absolute legend thank you for telling his story

  • @slugcult-10_years_and
    @slugcult-10_years_and 3 года назад +486

    The most incredible thing about this whole story is the fact that back then, you could sell an old suit of yours, and make enough money to actually relocate to a whole other town.

    • @arknark
      @arknark 3 года назад +9

      Pretty wild to think about indeed.

    • @vanessashaw3594
      @vanessashaw3594 3 года назад +5

      😂
      Even if we could do that now we can't go anywhere. 🤣😪

    • @kovukinttv8650
      @kovukinttv8650 3 года назад +9

      Well he did say he worked at a leather place making good money..so maybe he custom tailored something with really valuable cloths and craftsmanship.

    • @ovationsensation
      @ovationsensation 3 года назад +1

      I thought the same thing, lol.

    • @nataliehewitt7172
      @nataliehewitt7172 3 года назад +2

      Just had the same thought. Imagine being able to relocate by selling your best suit.

  • @josephbentley6591
    @josephbentley6591 3 года назад +682

    Plot twist: Timothy was a super genius who wrote in his own language he developed and was just trolling everyone else

    • @csar07.
      @csar07. 3 года назад +40

      He is just the main character trolling the whole world of NPCs.

    • @fajitafinesser
      @fajitafinesser 3 года назад +4

      Oh shoot

    • @angelrosario969
      @angelrosario969 3 года назад +4

      SHOWER THOUGHTS😎😎

    • @wrongturnVfor
      @wrongturnVfor 3 года назад +4

      nah he was a time traveller. Dont you know that?

    • @spork__
      @spork__ 3 года назад +2

      we do a little trolling

  • @jordan41621
    @jordan41621 7 месяцев назад +4

    RIP to Timothy Dexter he seems like he was a really nice and cool guy just different which I fw 💯💯🙏

  • @MTVBrat
    @MTVBrat Год назад +4

    Lord T Dexter.. the gift that keeps on giving. His spirit animal is my hero

  • @TheAceAllagator
    @TheAceAllagator 3 года назад +922

    Timothy: this year i lost my wife
    His wife: quit telling everyone I'm dead!
    Timothy: sometimes I can still hear her voice

    • @OHOE1
      @OHOE1 3 года назад +7

      sam o’nella has made a video about this

    • @josebatxu32
      @josebatxu32 3 года назад +1

      @@OHOE1 sam o'nella

    • @OHOE1
      @OHOE1 3 года назад

      @@josebatxu32
      😉

    • @nightynightshade
      @nightynightshade 3 года назад +2

      Lmaooo 😂😂😂

    • @kv2315
      @kv2315 3 года назад +2

      imagine him saying this with a british accent

  • @ryandoesyoutube6782
    @ryandoesyoutube6782 3 года назад +428

    This story is evidence of 2 things:
    1. There is a God
    2. He has a sense of humor

    • @sanfran801
      @sanfran801 3 года назад +9

      Indeed

    • @juderichards1856
      @juderichards1856 3 года назад +14

      Not really evidence for god but he has a sense of humor

    • @Persian-Immortal
      @Persian-Immortal 3 года назад +4

      Cruel sense of humor!

    • @Etherman7
      @Etherman7 3 года назад +5

      This guy is Reverse-Job. "Hey, Satan, betcha this guy will be good even if I make it so he literally cannot fail."
      "You're on!"
      I don't know who would've won that bet, but everybody gets to reap the story all the same.

    • @brianfitch5469
      @brianfitch5469 3 года назад +1

      Karma

  • @astridmaack4516
    @astridmaack4516 7 месяцев назад +6

    As soon as I heard the name Timothy Dexter I knew how the story was gonna go. I originally heard it told by Sam O’Nella Academy first. Pretty hilarious story

  • @EmmanuelGolazo
    @EmmanuelGolazo 7 месяцев назад +2

    Timothy was the Man. He literally nailed it 😂😂

  • @bisqwikbatter6486
    @bisqwikbatter6486 3 года назад +434

    "Because periodically, Timothy would confuse George Washington's name with Pit, and nobody could tell him otherwise."
    This sentence right here

    • @hunter66630
      @hunter66630 3 года назад +11

      LMAO :)
      i laughed out loud when i heard that

    • @PancakeWaffle1720
      @PancakeWaffle1720 3 года назад +4

      @@hunter66630
      Me too 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @gandalf_thegrey
      @gandalf_thegrey 3 года назад +10

      This man used all the luck of future generations. What a legend

    • @WideAwakeHuman
      @WideAwakeHuman 3 года назад +6

      Like W.T.F... bahaha this dude is a legend

    • @paul7339
      @paul7339 2 года назад +23

      William Pitt, first earl of chatham. Timothy dexter was illiterate and uneducated, and washington and pitt looked similar, yes im defending the misunderstanding of a dead 18th century ignoramus.

  • @LanaAndJen
    @LanaAndJen 2 года назад +808

    This guy sounds like the luckiest man that ever lived

    • @whysoserious4274
      @whysoserious4274 2 года назад +38

      Probably was the luckiest man back then xD
      If I was alive when he was I'd be his friend just cuz of how bizarre and hilarious he was lol
      That part about his wife being a ghost got me good 🤣

    • @ZombieSazza
      @ZombieSazza 2 года назад +10

      @@whysoserious4274 I’d have totally befriended Timothy, he sounded hilarious

    • @wimpow
      @wimpow 2 года назад

      I wonder if this guys life is the inspiration of one quite famous story from Andersen (Denmark, the guy that wrote "The Little Mermaid"): Lille Claus og Store Claus (The small Claus and the Big Claus).
      BTW, a gruesome story, as all stories at the time, but quite funny too.

    • @michaelnizza414
      @michaelnizza414 2 года назад +1

      Nope. Theres a guy who survived jumping on a grenade in world war 2 at 16 years old and years later his parachute didnt open and he lived.

    • @henryschriemer1133
      @henryschriemer1133 2 года назад +3

      I'm Done and when he faked his funeral, I had to pull over my car from laughing too hard.

  • @KingJamesIX
    @KingJamesIX Год назад +5

    Watching the ending of Mr Ballen genuinely laughing and enjoying the wacky Adventures of Lord Timothy Dexter.. quite unexpectedly.. really melted my stress away.

  • @nedflanders3769
    @nedflanders3769 10 месяцев назад +4

    Timothy sounds like the Forest Gump of lucky financial decisions.

  • @dragonking1261
    @dragonking1261 3 года назад +470

    This is the luckiest man in history. It's like the world just said, "This man, this man right here, is the one."

  • @firenight124
    @firenight124 3 года назад +318

    This man is the Forrest Gump of the 18th Century.

  • @justinhadley2583
    @justinhadley2583 7 месяцев назад +3

    I think it's heartwarming how the cats got to start a new and successful life in the caribbean ❤

  • @carolinequinn8410
    @carolinequinn8410 9 месяцев назад +1

    They treated Timothy like the like button 🤣🤣🤣

  • @v1nc3nz05
    @v1nc3nz05 3 года назад +289

    "Go ahead and sprinkle these in as you see fit"
    Oh my sides. This man wasn't an idiot.

    • @kdavis4910
      @kdavis4910 3 года назад +6

      Yes he was.

    • @robertseay4747
      @robertseay4747 3 года назад +23

      Yes he was but The Lord was in this mans corner bro. Hahaha! It's an example of how He protects us. Us being the simple ones

    • @letsart6434
      @letsart6434 3 года назад +4

      He was a genius

    • @MsILIKEMAPLE
      @MsILIKEMAPLE 3 года назад +8

      Mr Ballen actually switched the words. The original is 'solt and pepper' not 'sprinkle'.

    • @treykearns4867
      @treykearns4867 3 года назад +3

      I know rite. I lulled at that 1

  • @margaritarestrepo5695
    @margaritarestrepo5695 2 года назад +650

    Just the image of Timothy so happy with his new job as the "Informant of deer" brightens my life 😂

    • @macshatchetman13
      @macshatchetman13 2 года назад +13

      I kinda want that job. 🤔

    • @JustFunandGames
      @JustFunandGames 2 года назад +3

      @@macshatchetman13 7-11 has an opening for "produce manager"...

    • @psycholaw4394
      @psycholaw4394 2 года назад +3

      One day he discovered that for the first time, there was a lot of bucks in Moldon

    • @erkaderka3571
      @erkaderka3571 2 года назад +6

      @Sunfeld Jiramhir haha I like thinking that he was an informant for deer police

    • @scared10death57
      @scared10death57 2 года назад +2

      I'm picturing him as Charlie from Always Sunny in my mind.

  • @ah7908
    @ah7908 Год назад +1

    "Go ahead and sprinkle these in as you see fit" honestly the most G thing ever

  • @BubbaGump2k6
    @BubbaGump2k6 Год назад +1

    "sprinkle these in as you see fit"...wow he really is a legend

  • @andrewolson1664
    @andrewolson1664 3 года назад +859

    Lord Timothy Dexter Informer of Deer is officially my favorite person in history.

    • @rocketamadeus3730
      @rocketamadeus3730 3 года назад +36

      I know, right? What a legend.. In reality he was probably an insufferable dickhead, but it's funny now.

    • @andrewolson1664
      @andrewolson1664 3 года назад +17

      I love and hate that this is probably true.

    • @haydenglendenning4305
      @haydenglendenning4305 3 года назад +19

      Litterally is a wife beater

    • @andrewolson1664
      @andrewolson1664 3 года назад +18

      We don’t even know if that happened for sure. Nevertheless, it was a different time, he died over 200 years ago. Don’t need to go full woke on him. Doesn’t make it right, but that’s how things happened back then.

    • @haydenglendenning4305
      @haydenglendenning4305 3 года назад +14

      @@andrewolson1664 don't believe in being woke tbh I just don't like wife beaters rest is nuts granted.

  • @DreDredel3
    @DreDredel3 2 года назад +604

    Timothy was simply meant to be rich regardless of how people felt about him 😂

    • @adomede
      @adomede 2 года назад +10

      That man had a dream 💭

    • @luk3896
      @luk3896 2 года назад +1

      @@adomede 😂😂

  • @Dr.Rabbit7346
    @Dr.Rabbit7346 7 месяцев назад +2

    🤣 OK this is to be like one of the most funniest MrBallen videos; especially his face at 7:30

  • @Whoami691
    @Whoami691 10 месяцев назад +4

    Timmy is the living embodiment of pulling stats out of intelligence and throwing them all into luck. What a Chad.

  • @AdamSlander888
    @AdamSlander888 3 года назад +511

    Plot twist Timothy was a genius who trolled everyone by thinking he was dumb

    • @jessisblessed6689
      @jessisblessed6689 3 года назад +22

      Wouldn't that just be amazing!? Seriously. I like to think that was the case 😏

    • @LunaELugo
      @LunaELugo 3 года назад +7

      I literally came to the comments to find this comment

    • @namoruse5812
      @namoruse5812 3 года назад

      😂😂😂😂

    • @Gos1234567
      @Gos1234567 3 года назад +3

      Greatest hustler ever!

    • @brentfarvors192
      @brentfarvors192 2 года назад +6

      Nah, he was just extremely LUCKY...The New Castle strike ended immediately after all of Timothy's coal had all sold...The foreman lied saying it cost HALF of the cost they could mine it, and that he had sent 2 more ships FULL of it. It scared the miners back down in the mine.

  • @mikehoncho35
    @mikehoncho35 2 года назад +1159

    He was a real life Forrest Gump of his day. I can’t believe no one has made a movie about him.

    • @SadbutTrue84
      @SadbutTrue84 2 года назад +29

      He's like the Great Grandfather of The Big Fish😅.

    • @soarrefly
      @soarrefly 2 года назад +51

      Can we get a petition going? I'd pay tickets to see that!

    • @rodgerbroadway2195
      @rodgerbroadway2195 2 года назад +11

      This would be an awesome movie.

    • @plixplop
      @plixplop 2 года назад +22

      I almost wonder if Forrest Gump takes some inspiration from this story

    • @varunrajkhole6284
      @varunrajkhole6284 2 года назад +6

      I was thinking the same exact thing!! Totally movie material.

  • @alynunez4421
    @alynunez4421 Год назад

    Omgosh! I loved the Bloopers at the end! I’ve only seen a couple videos in which he shows Bloopers & Mr Ballen’s giggle is the BEST! I would love a monthly Bloopers or even if there was one of all his Bloopers, I’d watch it over & over just to make me giggle too! 😄😅😁

  • @Hauntedfrog81
    @Hauntedfrog81 9 месяцев назад +1

    This was an incredible story. Gave me a great laugh that was much needed. 😂😂😂

  • @firefly5677
    @firefly5677 3 года назад +342

    Timothy Dexter, Informer of Deer, is now officially my favorite historical figure. What an absolute legend

    • @richierottweiler923
      @richierottweiler923 2 года назад +4

      He is indeed the historical boss of bosses

    • @blacklight310
      @blacklight310 2 года назад +6

      This goes to show you can be dumb af and still make it as long as you have confidence and a lot of luck of course.

    • @WinterSoldier7207
      @WinterSoldier7207 2 года назад

      An absolute madlad, if you will

    • @jamiemiller1885
      @jamiemiller1885 2 года назад

      For real

    • @rdoc7818
      @rdoc7818 2 года назад +1

      That’s *Lord* Timothy Dexter to you, peon.

  • @Vaille32
    @Vaille32 3 года назад +225

    20 years ago, I investigated an auto accident in the suburbs of Chicago. I asked the driver to complete a written statement form about his crash. For the other driver’s name, he wrote “Bambi but I don’t know.” For the color of the other vehicle, he wrote “faun.” The address of the other driver? “The forests of illinois.” I’ve investigated everything from auto accidents to homicides, but I will always remember that guy. He was being serious, too. We should nominate him to be the next Informer of Deer.

    • @kategulick4781
      @kategulick4781 3 года назад +11

      I think this is the funniest thing I've ever read.

    • @jennarobin2748
      @jennarobin2748 3 года назад +7

      That's such a cool experience! Thanks for sharing!👍✌

    • @d0dge.609
      @d0dge.609 3 года назад +8

      That’s a cool little story, thank you.

    • @misselissa608
      @misselissa608 3 года назад +3

      Hilarious!

    • @purplepacks7175
      @purplepacks7175 3 года назад +1

      Which suburb of Chicago are u talking about? I live in Chicago so I'm curious as to which suburb this is because depending on which one this story may or may not be surprising

  • @kristyprescott4527
    @kristyprescott4527 Год назад +2

    I’ve listened to this story soo many times it makes my belly and ribs hurt with laughter 😂 watching this for the first time in year with your hoodie on I needed this tonight ❤

  • @peachespavalko1980
    @peachespavalko1980 Год назад +1

    🙋‍♀️Your bloopers at the end of this left me 😃. Your giggles are golden. Also taught me a lesson to always allow the video to run full-course.

  • @smoothcombo2899
    @smoothcombo2899 3 года назад +416

    The funniest part of this is the fact that he told everyone his wife was a ghost and they just accepted it😂

    • @liiammiller7881
      @liiammiller7881 3 года назад +8

      Lol my parents when guests are over.

    • @chrismurray1084
      @chrismurray1084 3 года назад +4

      Hahaha this is a great series hope he makes more

    • @mattyetsko5969
      @mattyetsko5969 3 года назад +19

      He literally phased her out of reality while being alive 😂😂

    • @dillbro1247
      @dillbro1247 3 года назад +3

      😂😂😂

    • @kitkatpangirl8059
      @kitkatpangirl8059 3 года назад +6

      Literally the entire time I watched this video I was laughing my ass off. Fcking hilarious!!! 😂😂🤣🤣

  • @MamaDoctorJones
    @MamaDoctorJones Год назад +1649

    Why is Timothy the most hilarious person on the planet?! 😆 i want a copy of his book

    • @Gixsir
      @Gixsir Год назад +39

      I bet he was a great time to hang out with

    • @wendymcclanahan8719
      @wendymcclanahan8719 Год назад +91

      @@perryshaffer8358 HE'S STILL MAKING MONEY!
      LOL

    • @yeemawheaver1387
      @yeemawheaver1387 Год назад +35

      @@Gixsir unless you're his wife.

    • @andremaltais2291
      @andremaltais2291 Год назад +25

      I have an original set of the books.

    • @brenndanmcdonaugh1672
      @brenndanmcdonaugh1672 Год назад +30

      It's on project Gutenberg for free. Complete with the legendary spelling and page of punctuation

  • @drsmiley1000
    @drsmiley1000 7 месяцев назад

    Your laugh is so contagious! Thank you!!

  • @Thenewlife83
    @Thenewlife83 Год назад +1

    This is the story I've been trying to find again! I really love this story and it's actually motivating for me.

  • @brantnuttall
    @brantnuttall 2 года назад +227

    Seriously, this man's life story should be made into a comedy film. I'm crying with laughter!

    • @sheena691
      @sheena691 2 года назад +4

      Forrest Gump

    • @davidkuzur5186
      @davidkuzur5186 2 года назад +1

      If I was a famous producer, director, whatever, I'd be jotting down a bunch of MrB's stories to pitch to my 'friends' in an effort to drum up cash to turn a lot of these into films, funny and otherwise. Hell, letting them hear Ballen tell the stories would probably hook most of them right there!

    • @bentonrp
      @bentonrp 2 года назад +3

      It's funny that it took place, at the start, before the United States. You rarely hear stories about aristocrat life back then! Shudder to think if he became a founding father. What a pickle for the knowing one that would be...

    • @emabeyta1974
      @emabeyta1974 2 года назад +1

      Actually its kinda like the Jerk with Steve Martin. That was a great movie and pretty similar. MrBallen good job!!

    • @brantnuttall
      @brantnuttall 2 года назад +1

      @@emabeyta1974 I haven't seen that but I do like Steve Martin so I guess I should check it out! Thanks!

  • @mentaldavethefirst
    @mentaldavethefirst 2 года назад +378

    I'm sad that it took 38 years of my life to hear this wonderful story.

    • @rockman49er
      @rockman49er 2 года назад +4

      46 years for me lol

    • @elizabethbarringer2791
      @elizabethbarringer2791 2 года назад +5

      Heck I am 61 it's a wonderful story . best part it's true.

    • @bentonrp
      @bentonrp 2 года назад +5

      I'm 38 too, and I never heard of this, and I made a board game for fun all about eccentric aristocrats before the British Colonies became the U.S.! :P

    • @jaalaj6610
      @jaalaj6610 2 года назад +2

      Same! ☺️

    • @akshaykushawaha2160
      @akshaykushawaha2160 2 года назад +2

      18😅😂

  • @jenmarie03
    @jenmarie03 6 месяцев назад +1

    YESSSS!!!!! Bloopers!!! I always wait until the very end for bloopers & this one has been the very best! Thank you! 🎉❤

  • @cindybrown4979
    @cindybrown4979 9 месяцев назад +1

    This is absolutely my fav Mr Ballen story!

  • @RachaelClag
    @RachaelClag 3 года назад +60

    The first person to ever "ghost" someone to avoid the relationship!! 😂

  • @ValCronin
    @ValCronin 2 года назад +482

    I love how he just loaded a bunch of random stuff onto ships and sent them to the caribbean and people were like 'Whatever is on this boat, I am gonna buy it and use the hell out of it'

    • @Abdullah-uv2pv
      @Abdullah-uv2pv 2 года назад +3

      I'm from the Caribbean

    • @deecee4644
      @deecee4644 2 года назад +15

      I think that speaks volumes about how resourceful folks from the Caribbean are!

    • @evanrodarte4290
      @evanrodarte4290 2 года назад +5

      I love how these unwitting psychics called all these incredible investments and yet they didn't profit AT ALL.

    • @danielstaab1267
      @danielstaab1267 2 года назад +1

      Well he only sent cats to the Caribbean, did you even listen to it?

    • @shinigami1194
      @shinigami1194 2 года назад +8

      @@danielstaab1267 And warming pans.

  • @amichi5304
    @amichi5304 11 месяцев назад +2

    That moron has me wheezingggg😂😂😂 you literally can’t make this up🤣🤣

  • @chrismba777
    @chrismba777 3 года назад +1425

    The fact no one has made a movie about this man's life is, in itself, amazing. The title should be, "A Pickle for the Knowing Ones"

    • @danny1229c
      @danny1229c 3 года назад +59

      Here's an F go ahead and sprinkle it in where you see fit 😂

    • @danny1229c
      @danny1229c 2 года назад +16

      And sprinkle it you did. 👍

    • @lisaprince6867
      @lisaprince6867 2 года назад +3

      SAME!

    • @rachelgonzalez8051
      @rachelgonzalez8051 2 года назад +26

      It's actually a really great title!

    • @brubaker1212
      @brubaker1212 2 года назад +2

      WTF!? Please tell me you’re joking

  • @crane8819
    @crane8819 10 месяцев назад

    Every wealthy neighborhood needs a Timothy. He's a true American hero. 😅

  • @miksmith41
    @miksmith41 5 месяцев назад

    Absolutely hilarious upload and the most amazing man. Hahahahha. Thank you so much Mr Ballen. And LOVE your out-takes you always include! :D

  • @andysarmiento1200
    @andysarmiento1200 3 года назад +2931

    I genuinely thought this video was going to be about a stray cat who was king of all cats.

  • @ZOI-Omega
    @ZOI-Omega 3 года назад +172

    This was incredible. He literally used an UNO reverse card before Uno.

  • @dharma241
    @dharma241 7 месяцев назад

    More of these stories please!!!

  • @whizkidliz
    @whizkidliz Год назад

    I think this is my top favorite Ballen episodes!!
    Would love to hear more, like about the bleuriot trophy at the Airforce Academy in Colorado Springs.

  • @MummaQuan
    @MummaQuan 2 года назад +112

    He decided he didn’t really like his wife anymore & started to just tell people she was dead 😂😂😂 and they just went along with it and viewed her as a ghost 🤣
    Somebody needs to make that mans life into a movie. Unbelievable & hilarious.

    • @bentonrp
      @bentonrp 2 года назад +6

      "First I was fake-dead, now YOU be fake-dead!" Hey, he found a way around divorce, if ever there was any! 😃

    • @movielibrary3608
      @movielibrary3608 2 года назад +2

      At first it's hilarious but then imagine being the wife and no one will acknowledge your existence. Next level abuse.

    • @bentonrp
      @bentonrp 2 года назад +1

      @@movielibrary3608 I've had that, and you just do whatever you want with whoever you want, no consequence! 😅

    • @nicholaswroblewski3069
      @nicholaswroblewski3069 2 года назад +1

      that movie would suck bc nothing bad ever happened to him.

    • @bentonrp
      @bentonrp 2 года назад

      @@nicholaswroblewski3069 Lolol! That's so true!

  • @postarmenia
    @postarmenia 3 года назад +223

    You can't fight fate, he was just destined to be rich

  • @myeshiajean5608
    @myeshiajean5608 5 месяцев назад +1

    Still watching your oldies lol

  • @Amber-McCowin
    @Amber-McCowin 9 месяцев назад +1

    Hands down this has to be the best video he's put out so far. Makes me feel good about my life and potential future 😂

  • @rocketamadeus3730
    @rocketamadeus3730 3 года назад +411

    I lost it when they looked at his "informer of deer" logs and they were just drawings of deer and gibberish XD

    • @MrRedberd
      @MrRedberd 3 года назад +8

      Charlie Day all the way

    • @SigHellion
      @SigHellion 2 года назад +2

      😂😂😂

    • @michaell6807
      @michaell6807 2 года назад +1

      It was the ghosts of deer that had been there 100s of years ago🧐

    • @luciaseacreature8705
      @luciaseacreature8705 2 года назад +3

      or telling everyone his wife died but when they saw her walking about he told them she was a ghost

    • @GreenEyedGoblin
      @GreenEyedGoblin 2 года назад +4

      @@MrRedberd and now I'm going to rage until someone casts him in a mini series about Timothy.

  • @jpduffy2003
    @jpduffy2003 3 года назад +347

    Timothy dropped the mic like a boss at the end with the punctuation slap.

    • @kj12351
      @kj12351 2 года назад +3

      That he did! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @virgostarr7107
    @virgostarr7107 8 месяцев назад

    A true demonstration of the power of belief and not wavering from the goal. 💯

  • @SuperWillieL
    @SuperWillieL 11 месяцев назад

    Best story ever! This a really hilarious! What a lucky guy!

  • @DJandThatsAll
    @DJandThatsAll 2 года назад +514

    Timothy has to be the luckiest man alive.... Hes a perfect example of "sheer dumb luck"

  • @lolalam1669
    @lolalam1669 3 года назад +160

    When people don’t want you to win but life says nope you gonna win today

    • @donvaldez841
      @donvaldez841 3 года назад +1

      and tomorrow

    • @MissSeaSea
      @MissSeaSea 3 года назад +2

      As someone who never wins, I was straight up crying and cheering for him! Like, this dude is the ultimate underdog.
      God don’t like ugly! I hope those other dudes figured out how to be happy, for him and for themselves

    • @G_Robb
      @G_Robb 3 года назад +1

      He was destined to be a wealthy man! Way to go Timothy!

    • @SA-Bean-Bean
      @SA-Bean-Bean 3 года назад

      I would love to know! 😂

    • @mahannaalsalmi3749
      @mahannaalsalmi3749 3 года назад

      yea thats very true😂😂😂

  • @valenciajohn3043
    @valenciajohn3043 Год назад

    You can learn a lot of life's lessons from the life that Timothy lived. Like not judging, treat others like your self, don't be envious of others, etc. It's a shame the "Rich people" couldn't see past their noise, if they could they'd have seen their ignorance and then some. Like the man is really "Ballen," so let's make the same investment so we, too can make it rain...etc. Great Job!! May God continue to bless you and your family with love and laughter, much love 😋😎

  • @rebeccadyches5066
    @rebeccadyches5066 10 месяцев назад +10

    Fun fact, the name of the cat in the photo is Wilfred and he has a RUclips channel of his own called Wilfred Worrior. He may not be the king of the stray cats but he is a king in his mother's eyes

    • @TianXiaoMao
      @TianXiaoMao 3 месяца назад

      Wilfred isn't in the thumbnail anymore, I wonder what happened.

  • @Queenie97
    @Queenie97 2 года назад +565

    Timothy was ahead of his time. He is the type of guy who would have made a killing in cryptocurrency.

    • @mask938
      @mask938 2 года назад +26

      I bet if Timothy was elected as president, he would make it work somehow. He's just so insanely lucky that anything he does works out for him in the end.

    • @xNEVETS02x
      @xNEVETS02x 2 года назад +20

      Hes the type of guy who would have went all in on Dogecoin in 2014 and made 10,000% gains

    • @teijaflink2226
      @teijaflink2226 2 года назад +14

      He reminded me of Forest Gump.

    • @dback50
      @dback50 2 года назад +2

      Honestly though

    • @vimal-cliobconsulting
      @vimal-cliobconsulting 2 года назад

      @@mask938 lol

  • @klkiley2922
    @klkiley2922 3 года назад +237

    "Go ahead and sprinkle these in as you see fit." Had me rolling!

    • @tokemjuju8250
      @tokemjuju8250 2 года назад +5

      I know I cracked up laughing so hard I fell off my bed I was like this mofo is really just a complete smart ass like who tells everyone my wife is dead and as she walks by nah that's not her she's just a ghost

    • @cocoamcjaegermeister5534
      @cocoamcjaegermeister5534 2 года назад +3

      He was trolling at legendary levels😂

  • @Tomdog83
    @Tomdog83 6 месяцев назад +1

    The title of his book, to me, seems as if he was giving specific homage to the "smart" people who helped him amass his fortune. That was my first thought, or maybe, depending on how pickles were portrayed in the time, giving an F-you to them.
    This was the best, most hilarious story.

  • @McCoy62
    @McCoy62 Месяц назад

    Your bloopers are so funny. The way you laugh at some of the copy cracks me up every time!! You and ol Seagull Lung's ads are nothing short of genius as well.
    ❤ You've the best John and we love you!❤

  • @33agnimitraroysanjuktamall80
    @33agnimitraroysanjuktamall80 3 года назад +112

    The most justified phobia that I have is Mr.Ballen running out of Stories 😭

  • @Qertii
    @Qertii Год назад +755

    This might be the most unbelievable true story I've ever heard.

  • @KiloBrim31K
    @KiloBrim31K 9 месяцев назад

    We need more of these bloopers in our lives

  • @ViviennetheVenomous
    @ViviennetheVenomous 4 месяца назад +1

    Absolute legend

  • @mitchellwright8771
    @mitchellwright8771 3 года назад +296

    Thats the most unbelievable story ive ever heard. How da hell do u continuously keep getting rich on accident? And u cant read or write? And everyone hates you? AMAZING!!!

    • @marymorningstar4508
      @marymorningstar4508 3 года назад +25

      God liked him and sent him lots of angels to help

    • @bt7594
      @bt7594 3 года назад +25

      And their anger and resentment only fueled and advanced his wealth

    • @mitchellwright8771
      @mitchellwright8771 3 года назад +6

      @@marymorningstar4508 are u sure? Bcz how do u get away with beating your wife with a cane? Im pretty sure back then they didn't hold back

    • @mitchellwright8771
      @mitchellwright8771 3 года назад +3

      @@bt7594 talk about all the stars and planets and quasars aligning smh. That math is beyond regular understanding lol

    • @KimberlyBishh
      @KimberlyBishh 3 года назад +2

      Reminds me of Kramer
      "No job, Falls ass backwards into money, has sex without a relationship..."
      😆😆

  • @ericcartman3328
    @ericcartman3328 2 года назад +669

    This is hilarious. He's like a 1700's Forest Gump with a little bit of a trolling side to him 😂

    • @suma5939
      @suma5939 2 года назад +13

      just so you know, i totally respect your autoritah! :)

    • @O_Ciel_Phant0mhive
      @O_Ciel_Phant0mhive Год назад +3

      * abusive

    • @amylynnsgraphics
      @amylynnsgraphics Год назад +5

      America's first troll lol!

    • @debbylou5729
      @debbylou5729 Год назад +7

      Um, he wasn’t trolling. This was the real him

    • @didyasaysomethin2me
      @didyasaysomethin2me Год назад +3

      I thought Forest Gump too. But I added in a reference to Charlie Gordon (Flowers for Algernon) because he reminds me a bit of that too.

  • @ssmele
    @ssmele Год назад

    You’re an amazing story teller. I always enjoy your channel.

  • @SuziQ499
    @SuziQ499 2 года назад +755

    I love this story he's like the Forrest Gump of Georgian times.

    • @e.sterling141
      @e.sterling141 2 года назад +13

      Thats so funny. I was telling my husband about this story and how they should make a movie about him and he said "They already did. Its called Forest Gump." So there you go. Lol.

    • @UpperDarbyDetailing
      @UpperDarbyDetailing 2 года назад +5

      What are Georgian times?

    • @Adendum82
      @Adendum82 2 года назад +5

      🤣🤣🤣 He just amazingly falls ass backwards into great luck and good fortune over and over again. Anyone and everyone just happens to critically need the most useless crap anyone could ever ship to a place with absolutely zero requirement for it, and he just manages to be that guy. I'm convinced more and more each day; This world is a video game and someone really shit the bed creating my inane background character life. I could've been this guy 😂

    • @e.sterling141
      @e.sterling141 2 года назад +8

      @@UpperDarbyDetailing A period in British history before the Victorian era. Started in the early 1700s to the the 1830s. It sort of encompasses the style of art, dress and food and dance etc. It was named this because it was during the reign of 4 different King Georges.

    • @colleenf620
      @colleenf620 2 года назад +1

      Yes!

  • @wikidghost5822
    @wikidghost5822 2 года назад +501

    I love this guy he couldn't lose money and convinced everyone that his wife was a ghost. I want a movie!!!!!

    • @ccompson2
      @ccompson2 2 года назад +17

      seriously there has got to be a movie about this

    • @homemakingwisdom
      @homemakingwisdom 2 года назад +4

      Right! The ultimate silent treatment.

    • @joeb9645
      @joeb9645 2 года назад +13

      Staring Ryan Reynolds

    • @Cyanidesin
      @Cyanidesin 2 года назад +2

      Christopher Walker would be a better casting choice.

    • @ccompson2
      @ccompson2 2 года назад

      @@Cyanidesin Walken is way older than this guy lived to be so....nope