The Sway House Mobile Game is a Disaster
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- Опубликовано: 23 сен 2021
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The Sway House put out a mobile game so I had to play it and give it my full review. Spoiler alert: it sucks.
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Приколы
![Megan Thee Stallion - BOA [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/TKQY2ZlIEjY/mqdefault.jpg)
kurtis dancing like a sway boy will forever haunt me
Yep ruclips.net/video/plIBGeQ4cFE/видео.html
Fax
How swag 😎
It's my new sleep paralysis demon
NEAICE COAUCK
“swag boy” this made me laugh way to hard💀
kurtis says “sorry for talking so much” like we’re not here to watch him talk for 25 minutes
Like sir, I come here just to hear you. You are hilarious
i come to watch him talk for sometimes over an hour for the podcast 🙃
Literally
right
I got so excited to see if was a longer video :DDD
this game is inaccurate af. juliette would've most likely be torn to shreds by sway house fanatics due to the threat of a woman being present in an all-male entertainment group
True!!
8:33 I imagine One direction board game as a snakes and ladders, but without snakes. You know, cause only one direction
i spat out my water PLEASE
BYE
GURL 💀💀💀
best comment
Fav comment
Those 1D imagines had a more compelling story than this game 😶
Yep ruclips.net/video/plIBGeQ4cFE/видео.html
Fax.
I agwee uwu
Fr
@@FUCKZIONISM-FREE-PALESTINE yes I make clothes
@@FUCKZIONISM-FREE-PALESTINE spell agree right
Kurtis should make a Kurtistown game that is literally just Sims City but every Sim has Kurtis’ face
I love that for you, bestie
Omg go off queen yesss
I would play that unapologetically.
That’s terrifying…
I love it 👍
and he is still the mayor and we still have to be nice to him b/c its the law :)
The update of this is *chef's kiss*
1. There is still only one episode over 6 months later
2. To release a second episode, they are now asking for 15k instead of 50 because their following has decreased to 5k
3. They lowered the subscription to 1.99 a week, so now you can save on the zero content that you're buying!
Do you have screenshots? 10 months after the video (4 months after this comment) still only one episode, they're still asking for 50k followers, currently sitting at 38.9k, and the subscription is the same cost (3.99/week)
@@SuzER08 idk I'm looking at it now from their Instagram and it's still 1.99 a week
@@windflowers9793 I don't see that anywhere, it looks like their insta hasnt been active since march, I just "played" through that actual game and it says $3.99
I HAVE had a baby (vaginally) and I can confirm their delivery of those lines was more painful to get through then child labor.
I was the baby and can attest to this
Wait, i thought babies were born anally
Im a twin
@@greasyboi3154 We are
@@greasyboi3154think cos they can be c-sectioned which you get anaesthetics for so doesn’t hurt as much as vaginal birth
That tie joke was way funnier than it should’ve been
Yep ruclips.net/video/plIBGeQ4cFE/видео.html
Lol
I support Kurt and his very *hand*-some married hands, I wish them a very long and healthy life together :))
The comedic timing was emaculate
Omg I was the 1k like
@@jeanneseo i think you mean the comedic TIE-ming
The most unrealistic part of the episode knockoff is that the sway house has fans their age.
Lmaooo true😂 All of their fans are literally 12
Fr the fan rage is like 12-14
@@fisusolina7315 🥾be gone bot
For real. I think it's pretty sick (the bad one) that they're charging €4 a WEEK when all their fans are minors, AND they only have about 5 minutes of gameplay available until the foreseeable future...
My theory is yes, they don't care which is why they don't advertise much, but also that the lack of advertising is somewhat strategic. Just a small bit. People are gonna be paying money week after week while they can get the rest of the game ready. I could be wrong though (but I do think it's a combination of this and them not caring).
[Edit to add: I also reckon that these people will be paying while they wait, and then when Sway have everything good to go they will advertise a little more to get more money and more regularly]
@@salomahoney2675 "I think it's pretty sick (the bad one)" Is fucking killing me
As a woman in her late twenties who is too old to know these influencers and doesn't watch them. They look like clones of one another. Lol
As a 17 yo girl in their prime targeted audience, I’m convinced it’s the same guy in a wig.
As a woman in her early twenties I still have no idea who these tiktokers are
“The next morning, you wake up to sounds of grinding metal…”
Slayer in her kitchen: 🎸🎸 🗣🎤
actually probably hanatarash. they drove an excavator into that poor girls kitchen
can we talk about how making a game about your fans dating you is one of the weirdest indulgences of unhealthy parasocial relationships? they know their public is mostly 10 year old girls who are attracted to them. making what is basically a dating sim about youself is bizarre at best
Couldn't have said it better
it’s a gross ego bost too
@@shizzlemywizzle1 right??? they’re so arrogant it’s embarrassing to witness
i literally didnt even think about it like that! apparently the Sway Game flew wayyyy over my head!
yeah, it's janky ngl.
Kurtis should put out a game, called "Gamer? I Hardly Know Her"
Yep ruclips.net/video/plIBGeQ4cFE/видео.html
Fax..
LMAO yesss
@MMI▶️ shut up challenge go
@@FUCKZIONISM-FREE-PALESTINE I’m hoping that was satire
Or just release the shitting game from the Dr Witnesser video
If I even *passed* the sway house street, I would immediately cover my drink
Oh totally, and I would never walk by that house without a knife and other people
And make sure you're not alone for good measure
okay petition for Kurtis to make a game called ‘kurtis town’ where it’s basically like animal crossing mixed w stardew valley and set in canada.
Omg yes‼️
yes.
The fact he called his fans *customers* is so telling. It's clear that the Sway house sees their audience as people just there to give them money.
Atleast its honest
I give him credit for honesty
freudian slips🙏🙏
@@vini_the_human That slipped out as he was bragging. Running his mouth and there’s the slip. If anyone asked him I’m sure he’d backtrack.
@lorien
I thought that was something only my brother says 💀💀
I love that the reason that they’ll possibly hit 50k is because we all want to see Kurtis play the rest of this game.
omg !! yeahhh! i was really invested like the writing at times wasn't bad, then it just stopped! like hey! i was intrigued and you just cock blocked me and kurt and all of us...@sway boyz, say you're sorry plz! >:(
that kind of sucks honestly
the tiktok account even posted a video addressing Kurtis’s video! lol
I knew Kurtistown would come in clutch😩
Imagine that was their plan this whole time 😂
I was in show choir and theatre in high school. I was great at facial expressions and stage energy. I wasn't the best dancer at all, but with practice, I managed to learn all the steps. And if I messed up, my enthusiasm covered it up.
Even beyond the stage, dancing was a big deal at my junior high and HS. Break dance circles after school, imitating the latest music videos, grinding and dropping it during school dances, knowing the steps to group dances (like Electric Slide or Cha-Cha Slide.) Being good at dancing was a point of pride. It earned you cool points.
I'm in my 30s now, but I bet dancing skills are still valued by today's teenagers.
So when I hear about TikTok dances, every single time I think, "Oh, this must be some cool choreography. Complicated or just looks really good. Lots of effort behind it."
And every time, I am disappointed.
im so sorry please dont think thats all teenagers do nowadays theres still some good in the world🤕
UPDATE for those curious. As of Feb 9, 2022, episode 2 is still not out. The account is at 40.9k followers. It’s been 4 months. That’s ~$50 of subscription fees for no additional content.
UPDATE. As of February 19, 2023 the TikTok account is no longer existing. Thank goodness.
kurtis’s mustache looks like two centipedes kissing and i can’t stop staring at it
Why does this not have more recognition, it’s scary true
don’t think it’s centipedes, more like caterpillars
I can’t unsee it now
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Love wins
fun fact! sway is an acronym! it stands for:
S- growth
W-brotherhood
A-content
Y-creation
this makes more sense than this casting decision ruclips.net/video/b48eBBMYUcc/видео.html
*yeahhh*
gbcc
Woah dude …
swroth, wotherhood, aontent, yeeation 🥰
But what IS he whisper/mumbling around 10:19: "first one to prudence talks to her first" - it's really hard to make out. ("First one in the pool gets to talk to her first?" Is that it?)
yes
2 years later and they still don't have 50k followers 💀
Sway Stories: 15.96$ per month
Netflix: 13.99$ per month
hmmmmm....
True
sway stories. easiest choice of my life
Both are trash
yeah dude it was a pretty hard decision but i guess i won't be watching the umbrella academy anymore ://
@@KhanMann66 debatable.
this game feels like a fanfiction they wrote for themselves
Lmao so true
it essentially is
Is it not?lol
@@bubblybubbles09 lmaoooo
Lol so true and its like a y/n since my name is Juliette the cringe I can't 😂😂
Hey, comrade. I just came across this video like two months after it released, and I’m really worried.
I just want to make sure…
You _did_ cancel your swayboy house thing game subscription, right?
Like, you haven’t been paying them this whole time, I hope.
Just a heads up. I know I’d forget and then find out in like two years that I’d been paying these scumbags tons of money.
Ok, cheers :)
what a comrade! Thanks.
Thanks comrade! Hope he sees this
He might've paid for 2 years man
Fun fact: if they don’t release the full game people can sue them for not supplying services since they are being charged. The fact that they charged for it opens them up to lawsuit
Lol
I’m so happy for Kurtis’ hands, they seem like such a happy couple.
Can't wait for them to *tie the knot*
@@kingayy9267 you mean knot the tie
love wins!!!
Yeah, lets give them a hand guys
@@kingayy9267 HAH
Kurtis apologizing for talking “too much” in his own commentary video is peak insecurity and I can relate lol.
@dream team you’re making your mother cry
this is random but ur so pretty omg
his job is literally to talk and he feels bad for it :( can relate tho
so quirky
@dream team depends what you did
You obviously deleted your comment for a reason, don’t be brand new lmao
“where are the rest of my sway boys” and the “you good??” had me SCREECHING with laughter it’s been a bad few months thank you for this video lmao
I could’ve sworn there would be a “thats what she said” joke at 11:55
A content house is like a fraternity house, but you aren’t there for college, you’re there because you dropped from college
and it pays YOU lmfao 😭
How can you drop out if you don't go in the first place?
what's up with the replies above?? they also replied my comment like get out of here 😭
@@amandavergara8043 I swear to God, every time I get a comment is from one of those, like "Deep wet gapping Stephanie has replied to your comment" but is seems like RUclips is striking them down
makes sense lol
the sway house is basically my nightmare. “a frat house where all the frat bros are famous tiktokers” like I would genuinely rather die than have to be in that house for any amount of time
Understandable view but see it differently. You could steal a lot of their belongings and sell them on ebay. Make quick bucks, get out the house and rent a nice apartment.
@@ArturGlass.C i was about to say that, I guess we all think alike
@@lickvinegarkids3654 It's all about knowing how to make the best out of a shitty situation lmao.
it’s the two worst things alive combined
I think I would die on the spot if I entered the sway house
I almost joined this company a few months ago and all I can say is that I definitely got the impression that it was mostly working on cash grabs. Tech was actually interesting (I know it doesn’t look like it, but there is a reason they got a ton of cash).
I’m glad I didn’t join in the end, I wanted to get in the videogame industry, but not like this.
i dont know how to explain this, but watching kurtis’s videos while eating poptarts in the middle of the night hits different
Huh so it’s not just me
i’m glad he apologized for talking so much i was trying to get a word in the whole time
Lmao
this deserves more thumbs up lmao
this was good joke.
i laught
This feels like a comment drew gooden would pin
The whole time I was like "When is Ether going to get a chance to talk?"
This game is literally just a wattpat fanfiction but you have to pay money for it.
LOL and even with wattpad you still have to pay for some fanfictions ..
So like a wattpad paid story
Lol this game would have been fun if it was a “do you want to be an influencer” game where you have to do short videos with you character and you can earn in game money to buy clothes and views as well as save up for a nice house. You can create a squad which will be called the anything just like the sway house and real people who play the game can give you views, likes, and comments. I’d play that 😂
@@loopymomy2532 Girl you could literally create that! Its so smart you just came up with such an idea from the top of ur head
@@jarbincks6715 Totally. Too bad I'm not an influencer like the Sways. If i was, you know my game would be good. I always wanted to create my own game.
As a guy struggling to get a job for sound design in video games, when you said “I wish I could hear it”….. I felt that. I really felt that.
11:33 "I was stoked to get an invite to a sway house party! Yeah!" *screeches like a demon*
When Kurtis has probably played this game longer then everyone in the sway house combined
@@hot8599 no
@Ruby Kelly - CHECK MY PROFILE yeah your profile is weird too bot
Using your username to get clicks? That’s cringe, just like sway house!
@@Tw0Dots why are the bots getting more ridiculous now?
WHY DID I SMILE WHEN KURTIS SAID THE TIES ARE GETTING MARRIED LIKE IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER???
I totally ship Kurtis' hands now
It was the aww 🤣😭
I aww'd too, don't worry.
ikr
I was so happy for them 💀
what the sway house stands for:
Sgrowth
Wbrotherhood
Acontent creation
Y
11:28 I think he said “first one in the pool gets to talk to her first”
kurtis should make a stardew valley style game called kurtistown where you play the mayor and have to take care of the town
i would buy that
10/10 would buy that
Ahahaha !!
Or maybe you get to play as a member of kurtistown, even a standard save the world story is gonna be amazing
YES
Plot twist- the Sway house was just one guy duetting himself over and over, in different variations of the same “cool-guy” wig. The proof is in the pic.
So that’s why I could never tell them apart?
🤔 it does seem a lil sus
This would actually be hilarious. It's the same freaking dude but somehow the Sway house STILL breaks up hahaha
Well I’m convinced
eh still better than all of Danny Gonzalez's deep fakes lol
15:12 that was 1/5 of an episode and they already expect money
I think the reason they always talk too quiet is because if they talk too loud they'll lose their "deep sexy sexy man" voice.
Kurtis's 70s porn stache and creed shirt transcends reality and distorts this simulation one joke at a time
💀 PLSSS
NOT FUCKING PORNSTACHE 😭😭😭😭😭
Agreed. Indeed. Lmao.
“We’ll see who she really be seein’…” The awkwardness of that statement lets me know he 100% doesn’t talk like that IRL
i was thinking this, made me cringe SO bad
I know I was like dude just...just dont...don't do that.
Omg I was looking for this comment!!
Can't stand when non-black creators use aave because of this. It's so forced and unnatural :/
time stamp someone???
14:32 the way Kurtis does Josh and Griffin’s voices is so funny 😂
10:07 you got me there, i wasnt expecting it
one direction could randomly release a line of literal dish soap and you know that stuff would be sold out within the hour
i would buy the dish soap ngl😵💫
i would buy ALL the dishsoap
I don't and have never consumed any type of One Direction related media but I would still buy that shit tbh
@@therealslimshitty5186 They could call it "The Soap of my life"
I know they’re not the same but I know for a fact JLS released a brand of protection. My sex Ed teacher brought them in during a session.
Their group lasted less time than the development of a cheap mobile game, rough
you know what else was a disaster? Chris Pratt being cast as Mario ruclips.net/video/b48eBBMYUcc/видео.html
That was actually a nice burn lol 😂
Oh wow, Pat watches Kurtis too?
Gotta love exactly TWO comments on a big Poketuber’s comment that doesn’t have a CLICK ME link. Bots man, f*** em.
spam bots are out in full force today huh
The sway boys sound like they're either speaking into a cup or whispering while their mom sleeps in the other room
12:50 NOOOO WHYYY I HAVE TO LEGALLY CHANGE MY NAME NOW. THIS NEVER HAPPENS PLEASE NO. DISGUSTING.
Kurtis' hands getting married reminds me of the time my little sister had a wedding for her kneecaps
This is an excellent comment
Yeah this is the best comment
i really like this comment as well
This is the comment ever
this is a special comment
at least episode has a character customization option. in this game you HAVE to be a pretentious, pretty, white girl who has a poc "sidekick" and falls for one of two near-identical white boys
Yep! Plus the community creators actually have interesting stories (AND NO SPENDING DIAMONDS) unlike these asswads.
Yeah in Episode you could customise anything! You can design the people your character will interact with, you can choose the gender of your love interest, you can also pick your body type and literally so many more to list!
Miraculous ladybug
@I Don’t Know They aren't saying Episode is perfect, they're just saying it's much better than the Sway House's cheap knockoff. Weird as hell to call someone gross for something so trivial.
that sway boy game is literally every 2000-2010 disney live action movie ever
Kurtis please I need a video I’m going through with drawls
Same rebeckah, same.
you saying "sorry I'm talking to much" is actually hilarious because we're all here to listen to you talk kurty
I couldn't get tickets for any shows, but I'm proud that Kurtis has sold out.
Yep ruclips.net/video/plIBGeQ4cFE/видео.html
Fax
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BOTS!!!
@@Emily-ro7mv I'm the non robot comment you're looking for
@@slightlyaboveaverage2235 Yay! Hi
@@Emily-ro7mv im also vry proud :D
If I were better at coding, I would totally make 'The Kurtis Chronicles'. It would be just like Mario, except every time you go to jump on a Goomba, you have to give Kurtis a dollar. Or sign up for the subscription plan, only $5/hour
Shoulda called it the Kurtis Connercles smh
@@alexdaley5957 HAH
Should I?
And you get a bonus third greeting for buying the game.
@@boon8950 yes
19:08 peak manipulation 🤨
S-short
W-window
A-abnotmaly
Y-yogurt
One Direction: The Board Game, except the only members who are actually playable in the game/appear on the box are like Liam and Louis
they’re the only ones keeping the fandom alive
Ooof
Liam and Niall
@@lonestar888 nah niall it’s kind of over it ngl
@@taraadamsons7253 pretty sure its only liam. have you watched louis' documentary and how much better his solo career is for him? leave him out of this please.
Every time Kurtis names a sway boy I take it on absolute faith that he's not just making up a random name because I would never know.
Ok NEWT
@@dilf2677 ok DILF
@@megashima that’s an acronym lmfao
@@dilf2677 I know
@@megashima ✈️ < the joke
😭 < you
Congrats on your hands getting married! They're perfect for eachother! They are blood related after all
11:47 you've contracted Dysentery
I absolutely love Kurtis's sense of humor but imagining him awkwardly setting up a joke without the edits makes me laugh without fail
That’s what his podcast feels like 😂
@@ShaunaNC the little pauses while he's trying to find a button on the soundboard always kills me
no way gintama mangaka lives in kurtistown?? 😳😳
@@n.andkirby of course, kurtistown is one of the biggest cities worldwide
@@elambedo they keep selling out tho! I believe in the live shows at least lmao
kurtis' curly mullet is fucking incredible he looks amazing
ah, to have that hair type..
I read that as curry mullet and was very confused for a while
yeah
@@janani5556 I read it as curly mallet, we're both going thru it
I want it tbh
It's been 1 yr and there's only 38.4k followers...i guess well never get to know what really happened at that party
that terribly recorded line is "first one in the pool gets to talk to her first." in case you can't tell what they're saying
I can’t believe you’re a “that guy” guy, I’m such a “this guy” dude.. damn heart broken
New Tinder profile: WON'T date anyone that's a "that guy". I only date "this guy" dudes because they are superior in every way
was thinking this as well smh
ikr smh... "this guy" is underrated asf
not gonna lie, i thought the big punchline of the video was that kurtis ACTUALLY made a mobile game. which i would play the absolute shit out of
No way bro that was a tie💔😟😢😣
2 years later and it's at 36k followers.🤦🏾♀️
As someone who has played episode in the past, there's no way that at least some assets were stolen, especially animations. They look almost, if not exactly the same.
I was thinking the same!! Even the art style of the characters looks a bit similar
exactly! like the joints of the characters look almost identical
I think you mean there’s no way they didn’t steal at least some assets.
I was thinking the exact same thing and it’s so obvious!
exactly
okay but josh saying “well see-well see who she really be seeing at this party” in the most monotone voice is the funniest fckin thing ever
LMAOOO LIFELESS
My good bro had a whole ass stroke 💀
i havent watched the video yet- 😭😭
so smooth 😂
@@heyyitsjude hi judy
IS NOBODY GOING TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE ANIMATED CHARACTER SCRATCHING HIS NUTS AFTER HE JUMPED IN THE POOL.
I'm just cracking up at the image of an under-paid Japanese mobile game dev who had to go to work at playco in a pandemic to write lines like "I've been waiting hours for you to wake up... now SPILL! What happened last night?!"
”tap here to unlock the icu” kurtis you are killing me
can you not get a room either? please I’m very injured and in need of medical attention.
Don't worry that Kurtis are killing you because you can always tap here to unlock icu!
So is Covid 👀
costs 30 gems to go to the hospital
Better unlock the ICU then!
anybody else notice how kurtis’ jokes are so much stronger?? like i’m pissing and shitting and crying about the tie jokes, they’re so well tied together
Tied together 🤘
I hope you’re wearing a diaper 😬
Gnarly dude
You should get that checked, you shit when you laugh
No way bruh, that was a tie pun
“FIRST ONE IN THE POOL GETS TO TALK TO HER FIRST” oh my god I finally deciphered it
It’s 2024. They’re at 37k followers
Disappointed he never pulled out “no sway Jose” 😔
Hopefully he says this when Sway Stories releases episode 2, or never releases it!
KURTIS PLEASE RESPOND WE NEED TO HEAR AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS TRAGIC OVERSIGHT
Kurtis admitting against his will at gunpoint that he's excited for the Netflix show is honestly one of the best things I've seen in a while
The hands getting married joke will forever be my favorite joke kurtis has made. To this day no other joke matches the level of that joke in my mind.
its the fact that they still haven't hit 50k
Not being on tiktok and hearing "bella porch llama tiktok trend thing" said so casually rattled my bones
Fr I was like wtf is going on over there?
I genuinely felt distressed at that name
I ain’t never heard a more wild name for anything
Kurtis: sorry im talking so much.
it’s literally your job to talk
"sorry i'm talking so much..." Kurtis this is a commentary channel
14:41
I don't know if blenders sound like grinding metal...
Unless you're blending metal with them....
Oh my god the roommate is a robot who consumes metal for sustenance.
thank you for giving o2l the credit they deserve
yesss literally. They were the OG's
fr even tho they kinda sucked
honestly!! feel like every time i see a commentary video about content houses they never mention o2l
@@moatrboat lmfao what? they didn’t suck at all
@@moatrboat wym??
I feel sorry for the artists because it's actually really nice. The art and color is great, the character designs are cute. Its just.... *this.*
yeah same like the art does look really good
Thank you for expressing what I couldn't
Agreed. I love webtoons, comics, and dating sims so its sucks.
right? the 2D version of these guys manages to be way cuter than the real life ones, I'm impressed
EXACTLYY
Watching this video is 2023 is SO FUNNY because they STILL never got to 50k followers, they actually went down to 5k for an embarassingly long time, and then decided to start posting memes in hope of winning people over, when it’s all just facebook jokes that they edited their charecter on. Thankfully they stopped posting in 2022 and have saved my eyes from seeing any more 🙏
2023 and it still hasn’t reached 50k
This whole, pay for the game membership indefinitely until we maybe put out another chapter or delete the app (Especially when the main followers are kids) feels kinda illegal somehow… At least like super scummy.
Especially when their target audience are literal children
@@Emily_Linka Fr. It’s hard enough as an adult managing renewable subscriptions. And it is so unlike any other renewable sub set up. Usually you pay monthly or bi-weekly and you at least get a week free trial. But 3 days and then 4 bucks every week (even more w tax)?? Like its sooooo off putting I can’t even explain. Not to mention the first ep. can literally be played in under three minutes and then you gotta wait months for a non existent chap to maybe come out. Feel bad for anyone who thinks this is going to work out in the end.
I'm the 500th like
@@bellamarra6300 congrats!
@@rosyrooroo352 thank you it's an honor
honestly i can’t see kurtis without the tache and mullet in the future, it suits him way too much now
It's his brand
Kurtis: My hands are tied
Me: *expects his hands to have string around them*
Kurtis: *comps in two neck ties dangling from his hands*
Me: *WHEEZE*