Kindly note that I will never give you a phone number to contact me on. Please beware of fake Jessica OS accounts looking to scam you. The only way to have any direct conversation with me is via my Patreon account. Www.patreon.com/jessicaos . Stay safe guys!
1.she is not interested in uh. 2.she is keeping her eyes on some one. 3.bad relationship in past 4.she is using uh to benefit from you 5.failing to make her attractive emotionally
Thank you Jess once again. My love chases and heartbreaks have let me to this juncture that is now the mantra of my life; Never-Ever-Try-To-Make-Someone-Happy- At-The-Expense-of-Your-Own-Happiness. Every matured man should be able to define what they want in life. The biggest lesson I have learned is never to be afraid to let someone go if that's what it comes to. Never try to switch a woman into a WILL gear ⚙ if they are not ready to switch into that gear. Matter of fact, they should automatically switch into the gear if they truly love you. She should love you the same way as you love them. Love is not some precious rare gem 💎 to be chased in other people. If you can have a will power to love her and sacrifice for her, she must have that will power too. If she can't chip in, she must definitely chip out. We must be in it together or else each one must go their separate way! To those men who have been broken 💔 by women, take your time to just be out of relationships with women, enjoy your God's given life without a woman, reflect on yourself, check back on what you went through; you will realise how 90% of the time women use a man's feeling of love to achieve their manipulative selfish objectives. You will then come to the realization that you have power over your feelings for someone. You will come to the realization that love shouldn't start with some specific woman and should definitely not end with that specific woman. You will come to the realization that in as much they broke your heart, you heal, you move on with your life to fall in love all over again with another woman; different one ofcourse. The one who broke you will be in the past and you will not even have an inch of a feeling over them anymore. Take control of yourself, do what is best for you, pull off the plugs and leave her if that's what it comes to.
My brother is in his early 20s. I am in my early 30s. He was interested in a lady who told him that she wasn't ready for a relationship. Two weeks later she was in a relationship with someone and shortly afterwards the got a house together. I told him that 1. She wanted to let him down easily and didn't want to lose the friendship. 2. She was full of it for saying she wasn't ready for a relationship because you don't suddenly just decide to be in a relationship with someone and get a home afterwards. He dodged a bullet.
Thank you Jess once again. My love chases and heartbreaks have let me to this juncture that is now the mantra of my life; Never-Ever-Try-To-Make-Someone-Happy- At-The-Expense-of-Your-Own-Happiness. Every matured man should be able to define what they want in life. The biggest lesson I have learned is never to be afraid to let someone go if that's what it comes to. Never try to switch a woman into a WILL gear ⚙ if they are not ready to switch into that gear. Matter of fact, they should automatically switch into the gear if they truly love you. She should love you the same way as you love them. Love is not some precious rare gem 💎 to be chased in other people. If you can have a will power to love her and sacrifice for her, she must have that will power too. If she can't chip in, she must definitely chip out. We must be in it together or else each one must go their separate way! To those men who have been broken 💔 by women, take your time to just be out of relationships with women, enjoy your God's given life without a woman, reflect on yourself, check back on what you went through; you will realise how 90% of the time women use a man's feeling of love to achieve their manipulative selfish objectives. You will then come to the realization that you have power over your feelings for someone. You will come to the realization that love shouldn't start with some specific woman and should definitely not end with that specific woman. You will come to the realization that in as much they broke your heart, you heal, you move on with your life to fall in love all over again with another woman; different one ofcourse. The one who broke you will be in the past and you will not even have an inch of a feeling over them anymore. Take control of yourself, do what is best for you, pull off the plugs and leave her if that's what it comes to.
every single point in this video is a clear highlight of my past relationship not taking or returning calls not replying messages always in a mode swing always hiding me as her man always avoiding some certain calls when she's with me but very friendly when she needs financial support I thank God she ended the relationship all by herself, now I can sleep well goodbye to anything relationship for now
This woman is really a blessing to us men,I have actually come to realize that am in a wrong relationship because of her.may God bless u abundantly Jessica 🙏
This will be novel’ish As someone who is currently in the midst of such a situation. I often find myself researching and trying to learn about a mindset and certain emotions a special girl might posses that I am not used to. Even though I came across this as a search to find answers. I see certain comments and I feel like I can actually share a little to maybe help. First of all…… Don’t give up. Second……. Don’t listen to respond, listen to reinforce your understanding and your stance. After my 10 year marriage ended, I was in a very dark place too. I was afraid of sharing my heart because it wasn’t whole. It was shattered. Suddenly I was a single dad. Something I had never asked for. Tough place to be. But I met someone very special about 9 months ago and after hearing just pieces of her story I began to realize that my heartbreak couldn’t compare to the tragic and painful past she was sharing with me. As I stood there listening to her, I knew completely and without question. If I wanted to pursue this woman (and I was certainly feeling that way) I would have to face things that I had no idea how to face. There was so much pain, so much doubt, so much fear, loss, devalued self worth, guilt, etc….. But here’s the thing. Although I saw all of that on the surface. What I saw inside was what grabbed my heart. She was strong. Stronger than she knew, stronger than I had ever seen. I am a man of faith. I try to focus on God and seek his plan. So I cried out and asked for direction. The answer was tenderness not romance. Compassion not lust. Respect not impatience. No way, would I ever crack this shell by thinking for myself. I had to think with her emotions. Learn triggers. See the pain and take some of it upon myself to truly understand. Sure I could do and say many things to teach her how special she is. Remind her of her beauty, her worth, value, and rarity. All of those things are great but without respect for her boundaries and what she needs to process. All would be wasted. Not long after we met. Circumstances changed and the friendship was forced into a long distance connection. To maintain the “vibe” I became attached to talking daily. But she needed help and a time came that I could no longer provide that. When she began therapy to overcome the trauma she had endured. She slowly started pulling away. I saw it coming and knew what was happening. But I still tried my best because I was desperate to see my continued impact. Then she got new advice. The Therapist advised her to distance herself from any emotional pull from others. I was clearly in that category and I completely understood it. So recently (the better part of two months) we haven’t had much communication. Her mother reached out to me and explained what was happening very softly and respectfully asked for space. Not just from me. From all outside connections. She had to take time to focus on herself and fall in love with herself again. So as confusing and hard as it’s been. That is what I am doing. She didn’t pull away out of anger towards any pressure I created. She just needed to focus and allow the therapy to take its place in her healing. I tell you all of that so I can give the advice that I intended. The idea of running away from her is mind boggling to me. That’s terrible advice and it should be ignored. Ask yourself how many people have already done that to her. I can give you the answer. If she has pain in her past, trust issues, or fear of a relationship. The answer is EVERYONE. Everyone has run from her at some point. That’s why shes here. If she knows your feelings. She knows your desires. Let it be and don’t go away completely until you are asked to do so. People ask me everyday how long I will wait for this girl. That question has two answers. As long as it takes. or Or until I am told that I shouldn't. Try to remember these things. RESPECT (no elaboration needed) Don’t give up when she expects you to. Remember its probably her past that makes her feel like you will. You are not the cause of her wounds. If you love her, love her without apologizing for it. If space is needed. Only you can provide it. Shes not going to beg for it. She will ask once, maybe twice. Failing to understand its importance will morph your fears into reality. She will never ask you to wait. But you will do it if you think shes worth it. She feels guilty that you’re putting your life on hold for her. Ignore that. She feels guilty about things you will never understand. Guilt is probably her most painful emotion to overcome. You are not a band aid, so don’t act like one. Hookups are band aids. Affairs are band aids. True friends are not. Encouragement is still valuable while giving space. Send periodic messages that she doesn’t need to respond to. Do not burden her with the guilt of “ignoring” you. Remind her that you’re proud. Do what you can to leave love out of it. Just tell her she is strong and you are thinking about her. praying for her etc. Remind her that you are always there “IF” she needs you not “WHEN”. Don’t come across as assuming. (space these messages out. Don’t think daily right now, think weekly) Remember that she is probably less in love with herself than you are with her. She has to get there in order to give you or anyone the best version of her. She cannot give the broken version away. The fear of sabotage is too much. If you are good, she fears ruining you. She wants to be heard but she will never beg for your ear. You just always have to be listening. Take the time to work on yourself. If you have fear and doubt about her. Take the time away to rid yourself of those emotions. Uproot your own darkness that is causing them. She likely wasn’t looking for you when you arrived. You showed up out of nowhere. There are probably feelings that confuse her from the very first conversations you had. No matter how much time has passed since. Those confusing emotions still run through her mind. That’s ok. That’s likely good or she would have cut you off completely before letting you into her circle to begin with. Remember that the confusion you feel right now does not compare to hers. The time that goes by will suck. You will miss her. But there is nothing else you can do. Tell yourself everyday that you deserve her. Tell yourself that she deserves your patience. Focus on what makes you special to begin with. She is worth it. Or you wouldn’t be here asking this question. That’s most important thing I can say. When you tell a girl that she is worth it or she’s worth the wait. I promise you shes heard that song before. So far no one has made that true to her. No one has actually finished the song, recorded it, and gave it to her to keep. Be the guy that that completes her playlist. She has a wall that you will never completely tear down. You will remove a few bricks from time to time. But if you really like whats on the other side of that wall. You will try again and again to climb over it. When that person decides to love you she will love you so completely and faithfully that you will be glad you waited. She will not give her love away casually. Stay focused. Keep climbing. The man on top of the mountain didn’t just fall and land there. (Not my quote) God Bless You
I met this woman a couple months ago and we had been somehow communicating daily and also going in dates. Then like out of the blue she essentially says she just wants to be friends. The week of this messaging she made a few moves that seemed to really show she was thinking of me and caring for me. And I responded in appreciation. Then later that week…boom “I gotta sort things out in my life and I want to be friends if that’s ok with you” so I fell back and everything was way different than before. I decided that I’m falling all the way back and not “being her friend” i told her if she’s gonna want to engage me and all that’s on her and I won’t be reaching out anymore. I think it’s another guy (probably her most recent ex) must’ve surprised her with some grand gesture that week. Nonetheless as much as I was feeling her I have to keep moving and not play myself
@@supamanlova9250 possibly. I doubt that’s the case because I hadn’t made any specific moves that week. For brevity I up to that point I was trying to decide between her and another woman so I know I wasn’t even giving her attention for real. Like I said in my comment she made multiple moves that week (including the day before that text) that were pointing to her interest. It was very abrupt
Ouchh!....those last words hurt for some weird reason....➡➡ ..."these same people who seemed so relationship averse just moments ago will suddenly be ready to walk the aisle if their own perception or ideal partner came their way". Oh Jessica, the truth is really bitter indeed😪😪
Reading through the comments, Just when I was about to personalize the video because of how it directly addresses the situation am currently in, I see a lot of guys share similar experiences and have almost the same situation going on in their lives at same time. That means we men often blindly get ourselves to be emotionally entangled with ladies that don't want us. So I recommend to Jessica to help with a video that directly address this area. So we know at what point should a man starts to take a woman serious in a relationship. And at what point should we allow the emotions to be involved? But this video has now given me a sense of direction and clarity as to what to do. Last night I found myself kneeling down to beg for love when she clearly told she doesn't want anything serious with me. My ego was badly wounded. My confidence was gone. And I struggled to breath as tears ran down my cheek like a little boy. So I came to the office today wondering what to do and what kind of treatment she should be getting from me going forward. Then I stumbled unto this video which has now brought clarity and direction. From today, I am completely turning away from her. From now she seizes to exist in my world. Even if she turn around to look for me tomorrow, it is too late. Thank you @JessicaOS, you are a tremendous blessing to me.
Your videos gave me the warning signs I needed to break up with my ex who wasn’t really serious but she wanted the experience of a long distance relationship. Fellas if you got a gut feeling don’t shake it off don’t waste your time and energy !
I believe that all ladies are always ready to get into a relationship. Especially if they’re single. That’s where your other tips come in Jess. The guy needs to build himself and not look desperate right? 🤠
I am at 3 and have recognized that I am of a Dismissive Avoidant Attach style which causes me to push people away instead of allowing myself to feel. Especially Good feelings.
She asked me out. We dated for 2 months but we were basically dating 3 months before that. Then she dumped me saying she wasn’t ready for a relationship…
Same thing bro. We where going strong for 4 months talked every day kids got along met her family and everything just yesterday after spending the day with me and her son she text me and said she’s not ready for a relationship i guess it’s time to move on that’s all that can be done she told me she would be hurt seeing me with someone else but I left it at happy birthday and not planning on saying anything
Thank you Aunty @Jessica. I admired how smart and calm you talk. Please can you make a video on how you get to develop this great conversation skill? Thank you in advance 😊
This is easy. Just help her along with her decision if she can't decide on what she wants. Just politely end the relationship and move on. No need in begging or playing those traditional female mind gymnastics. Just say "NEXT"
Have been in this situation where the lady took advantage of me loving her very much and by the look of things, she just liked my company. She was not ready to commit and give her full attention to me. She could call when she felt lonely in some occasions but when I felt like talking to her, she could switch her phone off or fail to answer. All of these stuff you've mentioned here pointing at obstacles that do impediment commitments from her side were very much visible in her. I had to quit though it took me time to get over it. Love sucks and I just date of late. I fear dating coz I do give my all. I felt stupid and am in the process of healing though it's 3months ago.
Save what's left of your dignity 💝 what's a way to end this awesome video. To Respect someone decision is important and the moment you make peace ✌️ with it the better. Thanks for this video.
Everyday, more and more men are realising that what they benefit from relationships is not worth all the time, energy, sacrifices and resources it takes to get a woman, keep a woman, satisfy a woman, make her happy etc. Oh, and the drama he will put up with from time to time. When you finally discover the true nature of a woman, relationships will suddenly become overrated and then you just wanna be single, have peace and sanity(something most men in relationships and marriages don't really have). Gentlemen; what do you benefit for being in a relationship or marriage?🤔 I'll wait.
@@moniquefacey5760 Are you aware that all women(even the sane and mature ones) are slaves to their emotions? That means you can NEVER predict what a woman is capable of. One day she gets bored or gets tired or doesn't have things go her way etc. Then a version of that woman you never knew existed would emerge. Every single man believes he has the right one, until the statistics happen😊
@@tatasonfelix I understand as a woman I can relate. However find one that is truly grounded in Christ and is willing to be lead. But first the man has to understand that his head needs to be God. I've found that I cannot love or be with a man I don't respect.
Very helpful peace there Jessica. Great to address such common challenge that most people ignore. This is where majority of young men are. Actually major course of failed relationships and marriage.
Jess. You are always spot-on! This video resonates with what I experienced with a long-term girlfriend. I wish I had seen this at the beginning of the relationship with her...
Love your advise Jessica, I've been so confuse with the mix signal she's giving, she was open bout her private life she wouldn't share to others, she said things really brings a signal but when i confess i love her she said shes not ready for a relationship, told me it is really her trying to fix her life currently, i do see it is true no lies there. Next week we'll go out again im gonna be confess & get the straight answer. Do hope all goes well.. 👏🏻, she's just special to me
@@jhica5718 peep game playa.. Marry the woman who loves you more than you love her.. That means she feels you are valuable/1 of a kind… Doesn’t mean you do not love her.. It means if an average man could just make the perfect women, she would not desire to be with him… Men are chosen by women, and men take the most of what they can get…
@@fitforlifepft1 I've never been in love before, but I can't choose a mf until he choose me 1st. And it's hard to love a mf withouta reason. A mf have to pursue, create, grow, and build the love that will fulfill me to became the women he want me to be. He's the leader.
Thanks very much Jessy, this is very educative and informative, some people ignore the red flags even though when it is showing glare that the lady is not interested but just wasting his time. Thanks very much once again for this education.
This video helps a lot but I still feel empty in a sense. In the very beginning they were very flirtatious but as time went on, they’d always give mixed signals on how they felt about me to where I was pushed away. They also had disrespectful tendencies they could never be accountable for. Some months go by and nothing’s really progressing so I asked “what are we doing? Are we talking, just hanging out, looking for something serious?”. They responded with “I’m not looking for anything serious but we’re cool and do what we do”. So I took it as just being friends and nothing more than that but they’d still want to hang out pretty much 24/7 and would want to spend the night.
Thank you for this video it really hit home I needed this because I'm the guy that always stick around hoping something would change but this is really an eye-opener all your videos are eye openers I love all your content.❤️
After she said, she's not ready to be committed, she apologize the next day by saying I'm so sorry for everything I might have caused, I'm really sorry. Jess Os, what you should I do, should I continue to shoot my shot or ignore her completely.
Love the advice you have in this video. The girl I’ve been dating for the last six months who is totally into me, but yet hasn’t said she loves me. She told me one night while we were at a salsa dancing class that she loves having fun with me and that is so happy she has a playmate while her son is growing up. So for now since I’m a playmate, I’m going to hang out have fun and hook up and keep my emotions to myself.
Thank you Jess this this video has helped me have a good think about a relationship I'm in and put things into perspective, matters of the heart are serious and her latest thing is as though she's changed her phone number without telling me(but maybe just broken/stolen),us guys often find the real truth is hard to take and accept,we seem wired up differently to women and as in my case find it very difficult to just stop loving the girl,we hang on to a hope that it might still work out etc, could you do a video on how to get a girl out of your head please🙏 bless you Jess x
I was in a situation like this but got lucky. I knew her for 2 years and we’re both shy people. I finally made moves on her and got together with her on a clubbing night. It all went well until she started sending confusing signals for a while and then it lead to her apologising and not being ready for anything romantic. However a month later I saw her again and she made moves on me again and we got together. She told me she was sorry for treating me poorly and felt differently about things between us and ever since we’ve been dating. We’re taking it slow and due to the kind of people we are aren’t always perfect with reliability and texting but there’s definitely a good mutual love that I feel we share and feel happy and grateful for how things are.
i cant seem to be grateful enough to have subscribed to your channel its really helpful , i have been waiting for this specifical upload but now i know what to do may you please keep on being an eye opener. 🤗❤
Great advice. My interest in Johannesburg is showing me she is not interested. I've known her since 2017. She lives there, and I reside in the U.S. We started out on Skype, then transition to WhatsApp. I've stated how I feel several times, without any clear reply. I got the message the first time, but it was confirmed the second time. I am more ready to communicate, but with her, the calls have to be scheduled. I let it go mentally, but open whenever she wishes to speak, which is not frequent.
Most importantly…you must believe what they tell you. My last girlfriend at the 6 month mark said she doesn’t want to commit…I wasted another two years with her that could have been spent with someone else
Why would a girl suddenly refuse commitment, after having a year long beautiful relationship? And still keep contact with the male partner? If she is not interested in a relationship, is in it better to cut it off completely ? Than hang on with him ? That sounds unfair.
My girlfriend says she is not ready for a relationship and at the moment she needs to focus on her kid. Also, we had a long-distance relationship and I always tried to see her 3 times a year. we were good as I pushed her to have a serious relationship, and she said, if you like we can be, and continue as a friend. she says I will be the first person if she gets ready. What should I do now?I love her so much
What about when she says she is not ready for a relationship and you let her be but time after time she comes from out of the blue to checkup on you, what does that mean?
Hello Jess.! I’m a Gambian and I’ve been following you for sometime now, and trust me I know people have different opinions but all what you say about relationships is true…. Right now I’m in a very funny situation, a bit confused cuz the person I want to settle down with gives me all kinds of mix feelings… This right here says a lot… God bless you I will try connect with you to your website and see if we can communicate directly cuz I need your assistance on what to do…. Thank you.!!!
I honestly feel like Forrest Gump with Jenny. We're so good together but she doesn't want a commit right now because of a past relationship. Her words "I don't want a relationship with anyone ever again"
I met this girl who always sang praises 👏 to me that I am handsome. But she kept saying she doesn't want to be my lover but always called and kept saying her relationship with my niece is paramount. I don't know why she is doing such. I used to call her most of the time, but I stopped 🚫 and she is the one who does the calling. What's going on, folks?
Go tell her you want a relationship with her and if she says that or refuse after some time ,then avoid her calls or texts completely n I mean never reply again
Just found recently your channel! thank you for it - helps me a lot! Please dont use face filters! Not needed and looks unnatural - THank you so much :)
I need to send this to a guy who doesn’t get the picture and I’m telling him straight forward but he’s acting like I’m being selfish and mean and I’m not trying to lead him on
We are 5 months hanging out. She video calls me every now and then. We hold hands in public places. S*x is great. We chat every day. We don't see other people. She get jealous of my females friends. All those signals but she doesn't want something "serious" although what we are currently doing is something a couple would do when they are committed to each other. There is one thing: I should have trust my gut from the beginning when she said, in the beginning, there was only 6 months she got out from a 5 year relationship. I like her a lot, but not sure what to do: if I just move on or keep going with her with "deadline" in mind. She wants to keep seeing me but she says it is not be fair to me because at the moment she doesn't see us getting serious.
she said she doesnt want anything serious, because she had a discussion with her parents and she doesnt want to talk with anybody, she said that i am a great guy and she doesnt want to start/ruin everything
I cant help but love this young woman's analysis and perspective @jessicaos go girl..!! Always straight to the point. No gimmicks and mincing words. I always look forward to the next video. Thank you for sharing these skills of yours with the world. Regardless of regilious, personal beliefs and all, your content is relevant and always helpful. I am a christian but i know too well that every relationship require hardwork and some level of investment. Even if God has shown you your wife, you have to go for her and invest in it to get that woman. And to the men, you do not need to beg a woman to date you or commit. Thank you jessy for making this resonate better all the time. If she's not feeling you, move on. I have done that before and it comes naturally. No time to waste time...!
Kindly note that I will never give you a phone number to contact me on. Please beware of fake Jessica OS accounts looking to scam you. The only way to have any direct conversation with me is via my Patreon account. Www.patreon.com/jessicaos . Stay safe guys!
1.she is not interested in uh.
2.she is keeping her eyes on some one.
3.bad relationship in past
4.she is using uh to benefit from you
5.failing to make her attractive emotionally
I swear to God this woman spies on me!!! Every single upload addresses my current status. I LOVE U JESSICA
.... but I do actually. 😉
EXACTLY!!! …just dealt with this two days ago. Jessica is spying on all of us! Lll 🤦♂️
@@RiceMan88 lol
Nah she ain't spying on you, u just have a lot of problems lol
Thank you Jess once again. My love chases and heartbreaks have let me to this juncture that is now the mantra of my life; Never-Ever-Try-To-Make-Someone-Happy- At-The-Expense-of-Your-Own-Happiness. Every matured man should be able to define what they want in life. The biggest lesson I have learned is never to be afraid to let someone go if that's what it comes to. Never try to switch a woman into a WILL gear ⚙ if they are not ready to switch into that gear. Matter of fact, they should automatically switch into the gear if they truly love you. She should love you the same way as you love them. Love is not some precious rare gem 💎 to be chased in other people. If you can have a will power to love her and sacrifice for her, she must have that will power too. If she can't chip in, she must definitely chip out. We must be in it together or else each one must go their separate way! To those men who have been broken 💔 by women, take your time to just be out of relationships with women, enjoy your God's given life without a woman, reflect on yourself, check back on what you went through; you will realise how 90% of the time women use a man's feeling of love to achieve their manipulative selfish objectives. You will then come to the realization that you have power over your feelings for someone. You will come to the realization that love shouldn't start with some specific woman and should definitely not end with that specific woman. You will come to the realization that in as much they broke your heart, you heal, you move on with your life to fall in love all over again with another woman; different one ofcourse. The one who broke you will be in the past and you will not even have an inch of a feeling over them anymore. Take control of yourself, do what is best for you, pull off the plugs and leave her if that's what it comes to.
My brother is in his early 20s. I am in my early 30s.
He was interested in a lady who told him that she wasn't ready for a relationship.
Two weeks later she was in a relationship with someone and shortly afterwards the got a house together.
I told him that
1. She wanted to let him down easily and didn't want to lose the friendship.
2. She was full of it for saying she wasn't ready for a relationship because you don't suddenly just decide to be in a relationship with someone and get a home afterwards.
He dodged a bullet.
Thank you Jess once again. My love chases and heartbreaks have let me to this juncture that is now the mantra of my life; Never-Ever-Try-To-Make-Someone-Happy- At-The-Expense-of-Your-Own-Happiness. Every matured man should be able to define what they want in life. The biggest lesson I have learned is never to be afraid to let someone go if that's what it comes to. Never try to switch a woman into a WILL gear ⚙ if they are not ready to switch into that gear. Matter of fact, they should automatically switch into the gear if they truly love you. She should love you the same way as you love them. Love is not some precious rare gem 💎 to be chased in other people. If you can have a will power to love her and sacrifice for her, she must have that will power too. If she can't chip in, she must definitely chip out. We must be in it together or else each one must go their separate way! To those men who have been broken 💔 by women, take your time to just be out of relationships with women, enjoy your God's given life without a woman, reflect on yourself, check back on what you went through; you will realise how 90% of the time women use a man's feeling of love to achieve their manipulative selfish objectives. You will then come to the realization that you have power over your feelings for someone. You will come to the realization that love shouldn't start with some specific woman and should definitely not end with that specific woman. You will come to the realization that in as much they broke your heart, you heal, you move on with your life to fall in love all over again with another woman; different one ofcourse. The one who broke you will be in the past and you will not even have an inch of a feeling over them anymore. Take control of yourself, do what is best for you, pull off the plugs and leave her if that's what it comes to.
Am I the only person who watched this twice? Jessica you are a rare gem
every single point in this video is a clear highlight of my past relationship
not taking or returning calls
not replying messages
always in a mode swing
always hiding me as her man
always avoiding some certain calls when she's with me but very friendly when she needs financial support
I thank God she ended the relationship all by herself, now I can sleep well
goodbye to anything relationship for now
Easy. Give the good person, a chance. Lol
She sound like she already have a man.
Yes them sharing their truth is a gift to you!
Leave her alone. It hurts but that’s the answer.
This woman is really a blessing to us men,I have actually come to realize that am in a wrong relationship because of her.may God bless u abundantly Jessica 🙏
YEAH OKAY GIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE LORD JESUS CHRIST AND LET THAT BE A REAL BLESSING TO YOU AS WELL
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
This will be novel’ish
As someone who is currently in the midst of such a situation. I often find myself researching and trying to learn about a mindset and certain emotions a special girl might posses that I am not used to. Even though I came across this as a search to find answers. I see certain comments and I feel like I can actually share a little to maybe help.
First of all…… Don’t give up.
Second……. Don’t listen to respond, listen to reinforce your understanding and your stance.
After my 10 year marriage ended, I was in a very dark place too. I was afraid of sharing my heart because it wasn’t whole. It was shattered. Suddenly I was a single dad. Something I had never asked for. Tough place to be.
But I met someone very special about 9 months ago and after hearing just pieces of her story I began to realize that my heartbreak couldn’t compare to the tragic and painful past she was sharing with me. As I stood there listening to her, I knew completely and without question. If I wanted to pursue this woman (and I was certainly feeling that way) I would have to face things that I had no idea how to face. There was so much pain, so much doubt, so much fear, loss, devalued self worth, guilt, etc….. But here’s the thing. Although I saw all of that on the surface. What I saw inside was what grabbed my heart. She was strong. Stronger than she knew, stronger than I had ever seen. I am a man of faith. I try to focus on God and seek his plan. So I cried out and asked for direction. The answer was tenderness not romance. Compassion not lust. Respect not impatience. No way, would I ever crack this shell by thinking for myself. I had to think with her emotions. Learn triggers. See the pain and take some of it upon myself to truly understand. Sure I could do and say many things to teach her how special she is. Remind her of her beauty, her worth, value, and rarity. All of those things are great but without respect for her boundaries and what she needs to process. All would be wasted. Not long after we met. Circumstances changed and the friendship was forced into a long distance connection. To maintain the “vibe” I became attached to talking daily. But she needed help and a time came that I could no longer provide that. When she began therapy to overcome the trauma she had endured. She slowly started pulling away. I saw it coming and knew what was happening. But I still tried my best because I was desperate to see my continued impact. Then she got new advice. The Therapist advised her to distance herself from any emotional pull from others. I was clearly in that category and I completely understood it.
So recently (the better part of two months) we haven’t had much communication. Her mother reached out to me and explained what was happening very softly and respectfully asked for space. Not just from me. From all outside connections. She had to take time to focus on herself and fall in love with herself again. So as confusing and hard as it’s been. That is what I am doing. She didn’t pull away out of anger towards any pressure I created. She just needed to focus and allow the therapy to take its place in her healing.
I tell you all of that so I can give the advice that I intended. The idea of running away from her is mind boggling to me. That’s terrible advice and it should be ignored. Ask yourself how many people have already done that to her. I can give you the answer. If she has pain in her past, trust issues, or fear of a relationship. The answer is EVERYONE. Everyone has run from her at some point. That’s why shes here. If she knows your feelings. She knows your desires. Let it be and don’t go away completely until you are asked to do so.
People ask me everyday how long I will wait for this girl. That question has two answers.
As long as it takes.
or
Or until I am told that I shouldn't.
Try to remember these things.
RESPECT (no elaboration needed)
Don’t give up when she expects you to. Remember its probably her past that makes her feel like you will.
You are not the cause of her wounds.
If you love her, love her without apologizing for it.
If space is needed. Only you can provide it. Shes not going to beg for it. She will ask once, maybe twice. Failing to understand its importance will morph your fears into reality.
She will never ask you to wait. But you will do it if you think shes worth it.
She feels guilty that you’re putting your life on hold for her. Ignore that. She feels guilty about things you will never understand. Guilt is probably her most painful emotion to overcome.
You are not a band aid, so don’t act like one. Hookups are band aids. Affairs are band aids. True friends are not.
Encouragement is still valuable while giving space. Send periodic messages that she doesn’t need to respond to. Do not burden her with the guilt of “ignoring” you. Remind her that you’re proud. Do what you can to leave love out of it. Just tell her she is strong and you are thinking about her. praying for her etc. Remind her that you are always there “IF” she needs you not “WHEN”. Don’t come across as assuming. (space these messages out. Don’t think daily right now, think weekly)
Remember that she is probably less in love with herself than you are with her. She has to get there in order to give you or anyone the best version of her. She cannot give the broken version away. The fear of sabotage is too much. If you are good, she fears ruining you.
She wants to be heard but she will never beg for your ear. You just always have to be listening.
Take the time to work on yourself. If you have fear and doubt about her. Take the time away to rid yourself of those emotions. Uproot your own darkness that is causing them.
She likely wasn’t looking for you when you arrived. You showed up out of nowhere. There are probably feelings that confuse her from the very first conversations you had. No matter how much time has passed since. Those confusing emotions still run through her mind. That’s ok. That’s likely good or she would have cut you off completely before letting you into her circle to begin with.
Remember that the confusion you feel right now does not compare to hers. The time that goes by will suck. You will miss her. But there is nothing else you can do. Tell yourself everyday that you deserve her. Tell yourself that she deserves your patience. Focus on what makes you special to begin with.
She is worth it. Or you wouldn’t be here asking this question.
That’s most important thing I can say. When you tell a girl that she is worth it or she’s worth the wait. I promise you shes heard that song before. So far no one has made that true to her. No one has actually finished the song, recorded it, and gave it to her to keep. Be the guy that that completes her playlist. She has a wall that you will never completely tear down. You will remove a few bricks from time to time. But if you really like whats on the other side of that wall. You will try again and again to climb over it. When that person decides to love you she will love you so completely and faithfully that you will be glad you waited. She will not give her love away casually.
Stay focused. Keep climbing.
The man on top of the mountain didn’t just fall and land there. (Not my quote)
God Bless You
I met this woman a couple months ago and we had been somehow communicating daily and also going in dates. Then like out of the blue she essentially says she just wants to be friends. The week of this messaging she made a few moves that seemed to really show she was thinking of me and caring for me. And I responded in appreciation. Then later that week…boom “I gotta sort things out in my life and I want to be friends if that’s ok with you” so I fell back and everything was way different than before.
I decided that I’m falling all the way back and not “being her friend” i told her if she’s gonna want to engage me and all that’s on her and I won’t be reaching out anymore.
I think it’s another guy (probably her most recent ex) must’ve surprised her with some grand gesture that week. Nonetheless as much as I was feeling her I have to keep moving and not play myself
you overpursued, you need to give women more space. she felt like she was losing her freedom too quickly
@@supamanlova9250 possibly. I doubt that’s the case because I hadn’t made any specific moves that week. For brevity I up to that point I was trying to decide between her and another woman so I know I wasn’t even giving her attention for real. Like I said in my comment she made multiple moves that week (including the day before that text) that were pointing to her interest. It was very abrupt
Ouchh!....those last words hurt for some weird reason....➡➡ ..."these same people who seemed so relationship averse just moments ago will suddenly be ready to walk the aisle if their own perception or ideal partner came their way". Oh Jessica, the truth is really bitter indeed😪😪
Reading through the comments, Just when I was about to personalize the video because of how it directly addresses the situation am currently in, I see a lot of guys share similar experiences and have almost the same situation going on in their lives at same time. That means we men often blindly get ourselves to be emotionally entangled with ladies that don't want us. So I recommend to Jessica to help with a video that directly address this area. So we know at what point should a man starts to take a woman serious in a relationship. And at what point should we allow the emotions to be involved? But this video has now given me a sense of direction and clarity as to what to do. Last night I found myself kneeling down to beg for love when she clearly told she doesn't want anything serious with me. My ego was badly wounded. My confidence was gone. And I struggled to breath as tears ran down my cheek like a little boy. So I came to the office today wondering what to do and what kind of treatment she should be getting from me going forward. Then I stumbled unto this video which has now brought clarity and direction. From today, I am completely turning away from her. From now she seizes to exist in my world. Even if she turn around to look for me tomorrow, it is too late. Thank you @JessicaOS, you are a tremendous blessing to me.
Wow, I'm a female but I feel your pain.
Im in a similar situation. What was the outcome?
Your videos gave me the warning signs I needed to break up with my ex who wasn’t really serious but she wanted the experience of a long distance relationship. Fellas if you got a gut feeling don’t shake it off don’t waste your time and energy !
I believe that all ladies are always ready to get into a relationship. Especially if they’re single. That’s where your other tips come in Jess. The guy needs to build himself and not look desperate right? 🤠
I am at 3 and have recognized that I am of a Dismissive Avoidant Attach style which causes me to push people away instead of allowing myself to feel. Especially Good feelings.
She asked me out. We dated for 2 months but we were basically dating 3 months before that. Then she dumped me saying she wasn’t ready for a relationship…
Same thing bro. We where going strong for 4 months talked every day kids got along met her family and everything just yesterday after spending the day with me and her son she text me and said she’s not ready for a relationship i guess it’s time to move on that’s all that can be done she told me she would be hurt seeing me with someone else but I left it at happy birthday and not planning on saying anything
Thank you Aunty @Jessica.
I admired how smart and calm you talk. Please can you make a video on how you get to develop this great conversation skill?
Thank you in advance 😊
I would've saved myself so much frustration had I watched this first! Thank you Jess!
Start telling us more about etiquette classes these young generations are not ready for serious relationship.
I THANK GOD FOR THIS MESSAGE. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE IS DOING TO ME, NOW I KNOW WHAT TO DO RIGHT AWAY 🤔
This is easy. Just help her along with her decision if she can't decide on what she wants. Just politely end the relationship and move on. No need in begging or playing those traditional female mind gymnastics. Just say "NEXT"
Great info Jess!
And as always... 👍✈️🧳🍋🥛💵
Live with Passion!
Have been in this situation where the lady took advantage of me loving her very much and by the look of things, she just liked my company. She was not ready to commit and give her full attention to me. She could call when she felt lonely in some occasions but when I felt like talking to her, she could switch her phone off or fail to answer. All of these stuff you've mentioned here pointing at obstacles that do impediment commitments from her side were very much visible in her. I had to quit though it took me time to get over it. Love sucks and I just date of late. I fear dating coz I do give my all. I felt stupid and am in the process of healing though it's 3months ago.
We mkenya wewe
Save what's left of your dignity 💝 what's a way to end this awesome video. To Respect someone decision is important and the moment you make peace ✌️ with it the better. Thanks for this video.
When they feel that way, I walk away.
keep speaking the truth Jessica I love tuning in as usual thanks for the Bible information ❤️❤️
Everyday, more and more men are realising that what they benefit from relationships is not worth all the time, energy, sacrifices and resources it takes to get a woman, keep a woman, satisfy a woman, make her happy etc. Oh, and the drama he will put up with from time to time. When you finally discover the true nature of a woman, relationships will suddenly become overrated and then you just wanna be single, have peace and sanity(something most men in relationships and marriages don't really have).
Gentlemen; what do you benefit for being in a relationship or marriage?🤔 I'll wait.
It seems you know game, keep it up
That's because men choose the wrong person most times. If your significant other is not the God appointed spouse then you are likely to be hurt.
@@moniquefacey5760 Are you aware that all women(even the sane and mature ones) are slaves to their emotions? That means you can NEVER predict what a woman is capable of. One day she gets bored or gets tired or doesn't have things go her way etc. Then a version of that woman you never knew existed would emerge. Every single man believes he has the right one, until the statistics happen😊
@@tatasonfelix I understand as a woman I can relate. However find one that is truly grounded in Christ and is willing to be lead. But first the man has to understand that his head needs to be God. I've found that I cannot love or be with a man I don't respect.
@@tatasonfelix Preach!!! You need a platform brotha'
Very helpful peace there Jessica. Great to address such common challenge that most people ignore. This is where majority of young men are. Actually major course of failed relationships and marriage.
Jess. You are always spot-on! This video resonates with what I experienced with a long-term girlfriend. I wish I had seen this at the beginning of the relationship with her...
Love your advise Jessica, I've been so confuse with the mix signal she's giving, she was open bout her private life she wouldn't share to others, she said things really brings a signal but when i confess i love her she said shes not ready for a relationship, told me it is really her trying to fix her life currently, i do see it is true no lies there.
Next week we'll go out again im gonna be confess & get the straight answer. Do hope all goes well.. 👏🏻, she's just special to me
Never MARRY the WOMEN you LOVE!!! Marry the WOMEN who LOVE YOU!!!
So u gonna marry someone u don't love?
@@jhica5718 peep game playa.. Marry the woman who loves you more than you love her.. That means she feels you are valuable/1 of a kind… Doesn’t mean you do not love her.. It means if an average man could just make the perfect women, she would not desire to be with him… Men are chosen by women, and men take the most of what they can get…
@@fitforlifepft1 I've never been in love before, but I can't choose a mf until he choose me 1st. And it's hard to love a mf withouta reason. A mf have to pursue, create, grow, and build the love that will fulfill me to became the women he want me to be. He's the leader.
THE most important video for me in quite a while. Hurts to listen to some of these, but they were things I needed to hear.
THANK YOU.
The growth is astronomical. Wow! Proud to be part of this family 🤩🥳🥳
Thanks very much Jessy, this is very educative and informative, some people ignore the red flags even though when it is showing glare that the lady is not interested but just wasting his time. Thanks very much once again for this education.
Thanks for the awesome video. We really appreciate ur efforts alot. May Allah reward you abundantly. Ur one in a million. Respect in all aspect.
Relationship mu Fabrizio Romano 😌.. Just imagining the research you do before coming up with such a well prepared lecture..
DIGNITY is the word
Wisdom is justified by her children. Never disgrace wisdom (Matthew 11:16-19)
Conclusion was all I wanted. Thanks
So I was waiting for a video like these😃😃😃... she told me that but wants to keep the friendship.
Same boat
She may be indecisive, or not over her ex, or using you.
This video helps a lot but I still feel empty in a sense. In the very beginning they were very flirtatious but as time went on, they’d always give mixed signals on how they felt about me to where I was pushed away. They also had disrespectful tendencies they could never be accountable for. Some months go by and nothing’s really progressing so I asked “what are we doing? Are we talking, just hanging out, looking for something serious?”. They responded with “I’m not looking for anything serious but we’re cool and do what we do”. So I took it as just being friends and nothing more than that but they’d still want to hang out pretty much 24/7 and would want to spend the night.
This video best defines what I'm going through these moments😊
Thank you so much Jess for being there for us.
Yeah man bang on the button they would walk down the aisle with their right person. I like it
Thank you for this video it really hit home I needed this because I'm the guy that always stick around hoping something would change but this is really an eye-opener all your videos are eye openers I love all your content.❤️
Jessica I'm proud that you are African....
I'm NIGERIAN and I hope to meet you someday
Jess i love this episode, this video has really help clarify things. Thank you so much
Always on point, now listening
After she said, she's not ready to be committed, she apologize the next day by saying I'm so sorry for everything I might have caused, I'm really sorry. Jess Os, what you should I do, should I continue to shoot my shot or ignore her completely.
Love the advice you have in this video. The girl I’ve been dating for the last six months who is totally into me, but yet hasn’t said she loves me. She told me one night while we were at a salsa dancing class that she loves having fun with me and that is so happy she has a playmate while her son is growing up. So for now since I’m a playmate, I’m going to hang out have fun and hook up and keep my emotions to myself.
All these tells my present situation but it's difficult to stop loving her despite all.
Thank you Jess this this video has helped me have a good think about a relationship I'm in and put things into perspective, matters of the heart are serious and her latest thing is as though she's changed her phone number without telling me(but maybe just broken/stolen),us guys often find the real truth is hard to take and accept,we seem wired up differently to women and as in my case find it very difficult to just stop loving the girl,we hang on to a hope that it might still work out etc, could you do a video on how to get a girl out of your head please🙏 bless you Jess x
I was in a situation like this but got lucky. I knew her for 2 years and we’re both shy people. I finally made moves on her and got together with her on a clubbing night. It all went well until she started sending confusing signals for a while and then it lead to her apologising and not being ready for anything romantic. However a month later I saw her again and she made moves on me again and we got together. She told me she was sorry for treating me poorly and felt differently about things between us and ever since we’ve been dating. We’re taking it slow and due to the kind of people we are aren’t always perfect with reliability and texting but there’s definitely a good mutual love that I feel we share and feel happy and grateful for how things are.
You speak about my life everytime
Thank you my Dear for always giving us some insights in certain things
A big thank you Jess.
You said it all.
i cant seem to be grateful enough to have subscribed to your channel its really helpful , i have been waiting for this specifical upload but now i know what to do may you please keep on being an eye opener. 🤗❤
Great advice. My interest in Johannesburg is showing me she is not interested. I've known her since 2017. She lives there, and I reside in the U.S. We started out on Skype, then transition to WhatsApp. I've stated how I feel several times, without any clear reply. I got the message the first time, but it was confirmed the second time. I am more ready to communicate, but with her, the calls have to be scheduled. I let it go mentally, but open whenever she wishes to speak, which is not frequent.
Thanks for that eye opening ..will get her out of my life
Most importantly…you must believe what they tell you. My last girlfriend at the 6 month mark said she doesn’t want to commit…I wasted another two years with her that could have been spent with someone else
Thank you Jess, made me grow with your videos. ❤
Thanks very much Jessica trust me I’m facing the exact key points you make now thank you very much for this 🤝🙏
As a woman, I agree this is true
Why would a girl suddenly refuse commitment, after having a year long beautiful relationship? And still keep contact with the male partner? If she is not interested in a relationship, is in it better to cut it off completely ? Than hang on with him ? That sounds unfair.
This really helped, I cropped some of your words to figure out myself in my current relationship.... Just exactly
My girlfriend says she is not ready for a relationship and at the moment she needs to focus on her kid. Also, we had a long-distance relationship and I always tried to see her 3 times a year. we were good as I pushed her to have a serious relationship, and she said, if you like we can be, and continue as a friend. she says I will be the first person if she gets ready. What should I do now?I love her so much
What about if the person express interest in you and after a week or two just tells you that they are not interested
Well said and shared once again and thank you so much Jessica 🤠 God bless you More 🙏💕 Greetings from New York City
Thanks Jessica you such an inspiration
That's exactly what she does😪......I have no option than to leave
Always learning thank you Jessica
What about when she says she is not ready for a relationship and you let her be but time after time she comes from out of the blue to checkup on you, what does that mean?
She is keeping you for option, Incase anything happens to her relationship,then she will tell you she is ready leave her and get another woman .
Means you’re still an option but not her first option. She’s keeping you in her life case she doesn’t find what she’s really looking for.
0.10 Absolutely spot on.
I like these points but Jessica, these also apply to the men too oooo.
Hello Jess.!
I’m a Gambian and I’ve been following you for sometime now, and trust me I know people have different opinions but all what you say about relationships is true…. Right now I’m in a very funny situation, a bit confused cuz the person I want to settle down with gives me all kinds of mix feelings… This right here says a lot… God bless you I will try connect with you to your website and see if we can communicate directly cuz I need your assistance on what to do….
Thank you.!!!
You made some good point
I love Jessica quotes, I m ur number one follower
Appreciate you
This was so timely. I needed this . I can make a decision now. Thank you, Jessica.
Wow. Lotta things I needed to hear. Thank you for this video
I miss your channel... I love your channel, welldone!
I honestly feel like Forrest Gump with Jenny. We're so good together but she doesn't want a commit right now because of a past relationship. Her words "I don't want a relationship with anyone ever again"
I met this girl who always sang praises 👏 to me that I am handsome. But she kept saying she doesn't want to be my lover but always called and kept saying her relationship with my niece is paramount.
I don't know why she is doing such.
I used to call her most of the time, but I stopped 🚫 and she is the one who does the calling.
What's going on, folks?
Go tell her you want a relationship with her and if she says that or refuse after some time ,then avoid her calls or texts completely n I mean never reply again
Actually she is actually in love with you right now In year 2022.
Thank you Jessica, am starting to understand my situation..
Very very helpful
Do not beg !!
Just found recently your channel! thank you for it - helps me a lot! Please dont use face filters! Not needed and looks unnatural - THank you so much :)
Thanks 🙏 God bless you mom.i side exectry what u have explained
Very deep and interesting 💯
Wow great advice!!!!
God bless you Jessica. Your videos are helping me to become a better man
Ahh the timing of Jessica advise, it's came at a good time
I need to send this to a guy who doesn’t get the picture and I’m telling him straight forward but he’s acting like I’m being selfish and mean and I’m not trying to lead him on
You are the best Jess and thanks.Southwest Florida.
This is pretty awesome 👍
Wow spot on🥲🙏
*Jessica has taken over you tube* ☺☺☺
Whoop whoop
@@JessicaOS u are doing a great job big sis
Props to you💓💖💗
@@peterekolong5482 appreciate the feedback. Thank you
She said that' to day
Thank you for this video
We are 5 months hanging out. She video calls me every now and then. We hold hands in public places. S*x is great. We chat every day. We don't see other people. She get jealous of my females friends. All those signals but she doesn't want something "serious" although what we are currently doing is something a couple would do when they are committed to each other. There is one thing: I should have trust my gut from the beginning when she said, in the beginning, there was only 6 months she got out from a 5 year relationship. I like her a lot, but not sure what to do: if I just move on or keep going with her with "deadline" in mind. She wants to keep seeing me but she says it is not be fair to me because at the moment she doesn't see us getting serious.
she said she doesnt want anything serious, because she had a discussion with her parents and she doesnt want to talk with anybody, she said that i am a great guy and she doesnt want to start/ruin everything
I cant help but love this young woman's analysis and perspective @jessicaos go girl..!! Always straight to the point. No gimmicks and mincing words. I always look forward to the next video. Thank you for sharing these skills of yours with the world. Regardless of regilious, personal beliefs and all, your content is relevant and always helpful. I am a christian but i know too well that every relationship require hardwork and some level of investment. Even if God has shown you your wife, you have to go for her and invest in it to get that woman. And to the men, you do not need to beg a woman to date you or commit. Thank you jessy for making this resonate better all the time. If she's not feeling you, move on. I have done that before and it comes naturally. No time to waste time...!
Thanks for the feedback
Here we go another one ❤️🔥👌