As a Man , don't make the mistake of being in a relationship with a girl who doesn't rate u or not physically & sexually attracted to u . Women break rules for much better guys and make rules for guys they do not rate . . If she doesn't want to be involved with u intimatly , but she wanna stay as friends , let her go , unless u are ok with such rules .
I don’t think it’s immature to ask for a breakup if not getting sex. It doesn’t mean that’s all u want. The bathroom isn’t the reason why I bought my house but I wouldn’t buy that house if it didn’t have a bathroom. 🤷🏾♂️
Men lose the ability to physically touch anyone soon as he hit puberty. Scientifically speaking men can only express love in a physical matter opposed to women that is able to get stimulation from other things. When you cut a man off of sex it means he is not loved. No Matter how the women try to slice it he will not believe anything. Unfortunately some women are aware of this knowledge and using it against weak unsecured men for manipulation.
No SEX? Just Leave! She thinks she is BETTER THAN YOU! Trust me!….She’s mad and THINKS you want her body only, why are Men not mad because she Only wants your RESOURCES and long term.. Bros.. Think!!
@@fitforlifepft1 I've been on this channel since forever. If sex is your problem, patronize a hooker everytime you're in the mood. If a relationship is what you want, be ready to adjust to some of your partner's feelings same way she will adjust to some of yours. Compromise ! For people like you, the relationship/marriage ends when you're no longer sexually attracted to your partner. Why not? When you center everything around sex, at some point you will get more than even want to consume. What next? Infidelity? It's only an immature man that places sex first at all times. Many of you will complain about cheating wives and that's okay, most of you get what you deserve because you lost a good woman because she refused to give you sex (for reasons you both must have already communicated).
On this one, I have to disagree, as have a number of men in the comments. If a woman was giving you sex before, then she stops, that means she has changed the nature of the relationship and she cannot reasonably expect you to continue behaving the same, while she herself has changed her behaviour (by withdrawing sex). And it is not a matter of "So all you wanted was sex!" No, she has removed a key part of the relationship. It's like removing a window of a car then when a passenger complains, you say "So all you wanted was a window!"
Hi Jessica, I been following you for couple of years and I do really like your approach to relationship struggles and solutions but this one as a man I feel differently. As a man sex is very pivotal, essential and not only symbolic but defining. For my woman to deny me sex without prior explanation or cause communication, it portrays disrespect and disregard. For men we want you to make sence to us over your reactions
I experienced a sexless relationship for a couple of years. I didn't cheat and I didn't threaten to leave. We had kids together, for one thing. However, when you get to "mistake 3" and upwards, the problem there is that when you are dealing with this kind of situation the stress and depression that is put upon you MAKES you into not being that amazing person they once knew. You CAN'T just act as if nothing has changed and continue to be incredible, you don't have that kind of energy anymore because nobody has been returning the generosity that you put forth.
Honestly, it gets really hard especially when you love someone with all your heart. Serious depression sets in & you start hating this person. The unfortunate bit is that she will later blame you for the change in behavior forgetting she's the one who caused it
@@collinsbamuturaki4274 Yep, exactly what happened. And I REFUSED to stop loving her with all my heart, but like I said that love was killed by constant disregard for me. Not bitter, just telling my story.
So let me get this straight, she's supposed to deny you the cookie and you're not supposed to look for satisfaction elsewhere ?? That sounds crazy to me
Mistake 2 is something I will never do in a relationship. The only reason we go into a relationship is sex, then the rest. Even women, cheat if you can't satisfy them. The moment she stops having sex with you, you have all the right to assume that she is getting it somewhere else. Chances are that she is already speaking to someone to which she will give it to him. One last thing, sex is a deal breaker for all men. No man will ever date a girl who made it known from a word go that no sex will be involved but women can date you just for the benefits and leave if she is not getting anything from the relationship.
From experience I know for a fact once a woman stop having sex with you it's cause she is already talking to another guy. Her interest is somewhere else.
Making alooooooot of assumptions here bro. Women change there minds more then thy change their sheets. Half the fun of being told no is seeing how you can turn that no into a yes and if you know how to operate you can turn that no into a yes. Someone once told me never expect sex from a female. I didn't understand then. I do now.
@@zmatthew91You're wrong. No mean NO. It is not my duty to try and convince an adult to change their minds. If they are not willing, they must inform me when they have changed their mind. I do not subscribe to mediocrity and no one should be subjected to such behavior. If a woman says no, it should be taken as such, not otherwise.
As a man with a strong drive, I can tell you that to wait for a woman to give you sex and to have to resort to “satisfying yourself”, is very hard on the male Antony. This comes from several physicians who have relayed that prostate, lower lymph gland, and testicular problems significantly increase “satisfying yourself”, The best advice is to find a sexual active Woman!
I'm not SURE if letting a woman know that if she's not available physically, you will leave her is being immature (It's all in the tone, energy and information you provide when telling her this) Sex is a VERY serious part of a HEALTHY relationship and for me as a man it's a part of my comfort zone within the relationship so if she's going to take my comfort away without a reasonable explanation, a comprise would be ideal but if a comprises can't be reached an ultimatum has to be put on the board. I feel that if you say your going to leave her for that, the threat can't be empty, a empty threat is what makes you immature and this is just my humble opinion
This is so true. Sex is an integral part of a healthy relationship. Mind you, all women if they are not getting enough sex, will surely get it somewhere. They might not leave you but when she has to choose, she will choose better sex than a nice guy who meets her material needs.
@@WitchOnABroomstick The she can either kick rocks in Afghanistan or learn how to share. I'm not going to do my part as a Man if she won't even do the basics, which includes sex; Women really need to stop with the bait and switch bs. You know you didn't pull that crap with pookie, rayray, chad, tyrone, and hector so what makes you think you can treat me that way?
The biggest thing is to really know what you want as a man. If you want a relationship that involve sexual activities with your partner, go for someone who is willing to engage in such relationship. I always say never try to make someone happy at the expense of your own happiness. It's not good both in the short and in the long term to put up with her "values" when ultimately that's going to make you an unhappy person. She is happy to be in a relationship with you and engage less in sexual activities with you or not engage at all. On the other hand, you have desires and the desires run high sometimes, but you just can't engage in sex because of her "values". It ultimately makes you a miserable man with a happy woman.
So let me get this straight. She gives up sex and then stops. The man is supposed to just accept it and show her his love with out receiving love back? Lmmfao
@@archerx68 sex is the only thing a woman can show a man that she is in love with him. Tell me something else that you know which you are sure any man will be convinced she loves him if it is not sex.
I think this video is good for singles that are just dating, but the truth is, unless you are an immature person or couple . Chances are if it's been too long into the relationship then your goals are not inline and you should just move on. Now I think the most common version of this topic is among married couples. Now that's the video I'd like to see. The implications are endless....
It doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman, we all expect consistency. Don’t introduce me to an image of yourself you don’t plan on maintaining. If you like it 5 times a day, cool. If you like it twice a week, cool. Cause when you give us sex 3-5 times a day or week, we close the door on anyone else but when you suddenly stop without any explanation at all, you’re opening a window to invite someone else to do what you refuse to. A medical condition is a different story. Or any kind of legit reason. It damages us mentally and emotionally hearing no all of a sudden for weeks on end with no reason.
I have been in a similar situation and sorry Jess your solutions don't work. Most of the time, if a woman loses genuine desire for you they're gone. They only come to their senses when they see that other women desires for you. Unless it's because of a medical complication, if a woman is not giving me sex, I sure am getting it elsewhere and if she finds out, she decides whether she wants to stay or go! Otumfour Kojo Agyemang
Solution number 5. A married couple who now have kids wanted a code word for sex so they agreed to use the term, "use the washing machine". One day the man came home and asked to "use the washing machine" and his wife replied, "Not tonight hun, a bit tired". The following night he came home and asked again and she replied, "Not feeling like doing any laundry tonight, I hope you understand". He said ok and went to bed. The following night he came home before her and waited in bed. When she got home she asked, "Hun would you like to use the washing machine tonight?". He replied, "No thanks, I had a small load so I did it by hand" 😁
Finde ich gut damit hat man der Frau das Instrument der Manipulation entzogen und sie kann selbst einmal darauf hängen bleiben. Wenn Sie es dann mit jemand anderen macht dann hat sich die Beziehung wohl erledigt.
I remember when I dated my ex. She took time to give it away at the beginning. Fast forward and once upon a time , she gave it away within 2 weeks to “another”. So I think it depends on the lady…
Correction: everyone has a 6th sense of cheating. Physical intimacy is a love language. You need to make absolutely clear that your needs will not be ignored. We live in a time where everything is taken for granted. Your women will actually bank on the notion that you will not cheat in her. But, you do not have cheat on her to get your point across. Affirm that your needs aren't being met. Giver an opportunity to correct her ways. If that dies not work emotionally detach yourself from her. She'll reconsider her values. This isn't a guide to make someone sleep with you. Either she wants to be romantically involved with you, or she does not. You'll find your answer either way.
True. a woman who really likes you physically and mentally won't play games or give you conditions. if any woman tries that gimmick with me, I don move o. I don't play stupid games. She ll break the rules if she really likes you jare.
I believe relationship issues should be handled on a individual by individual basis. People are different and so is their reasoning and reasons for taking certain stands.
Being denied sex in a relationship is a very unpleasant moment. I will say Moment because it's not supposed to last for a long time. There should be valid reasons to support why she is not giving you sex, because the same person who is denying you sex will be asking for other favours from you. Women are calculative beings and if she starts denying you what she has given before,your concerns as a man should rise. So I will disagree with you Jess because if she needs me to make daily sacrifices for her with my wallet and attention,she should at least give me some cookie, but if she thinks I don't deserve it then I should leave her and get someone else simple. Love is all about sacrifices.
I would like to ask this woman, why does she think strip clubs are full of married men? It's because married women have this thing marriage twisted. Strippers are very smart too. They'll prefere a married man over a single guy. The reason is they understand why the married man is there. It's because of his none sexual wife or girlfriend. Believe that.
Women get job/career... Save your money!... Men always make it about their wallet and your a$$🍑 pu$$¥ c😽 sex isn't Free... Sounds like legalized prostitution... Most women love men but hate Deez 🌰🍆🌰....
The same woman will break the rules for another man in a split second. Sex is not the price just as my responsibility towards her is not the price but duty. Brothers run
Dear Jessica, sex is one of the basic needs on the Maslow pyramid, the "physiological needs". Food is also a physiological need on that very same model. You can ask someone not to eat for a week, maybe two, but at the end that physiological need has to be satisfied. I completely understand the point when you talk about possible objective obstacles to sex, it can be some health issue for example, nevertheless an healthy human being (not talking only about men) cannot compromise on this basic need for too long. This is just my humble opinion.
And if it's an health issue that's why they say communication is the bedrock of every relationship so she should be able to talk about it if she loves you she should not be keeping quiet that quietness drives a man crazy cause your mind will be thinking many things like maybe she is just using you and nowadays most girls do that that's why at the end that when the guy propose to them they throw the ring at him because they never loved him but using him so if your girl is doing that especially someone who has a lot of experience so what do you expect a guy like that to do so I believe there should be a good conversation between them serious one at that
Blessed is the man who hears his kids calling you mom. I am here in SA🇿🇦 and I wish I were that man! He is truly blessed! I have followed you for sometime you are the best!
Is interesting how we do say "give u sex" when we talk about men and women sexual relationships like if saying women don't want sex themselves, sex is mutual it should be "if she's not having sex with u" not "if she's not giving u sex"....we need to correct this idea honestly.
Unless a woman is a Virgin or denying for health related reasons, denying ur man sex or a man who loves u sex is purely manipulative. What if I stop providing for her as well for a while, will she stay ? Brothers when a woman denies u the cookey and it is not health related for more than a week or 2 ,brothers move.
@@gabrieltetteh9830 i agree my brother. Some of these over westernized African women feel it's ok to use sex as a tool of manipulation and expect men to flow in the name of love and duty. While a man would is expected to maintain his duty to her no matter what happens. You deny me the cookey and i get it elsewhere plain and simple but will still love u. It's not dat deep.
When your woman who always gives you sex, starts not to give you sex, I can give you 💯 assurance she is no longer interested in you anymore. Her mind is somewhere else, if you force her, she will lie down for you to come do it and go, she won't participate. If you see her coming back to you, the other guy disappointed her big Time so she will quickly change for you. There are times naturally even men don't feel for sex, you have to take note of this too;if she don't want sex for a day or two or a week is normal Bro. Understand her and give her time, maybe she is going through tough times
My wife of 30 years just told me she does not want to have sex with me because I don't help enough with the kids. She says although I don't work I could give her a break sometimes. I told her she was wrong to think that way and that moms and dads never get a break. I asked for Hugs and Kisses after realizing I had not been hugged or kissed by my wife in almost six months. Seems like the wife is the roommate and I didn't even know it.
If a lady uses sex withdrawal as a manipulative too... I recommend reading the manipulated man by Esther V. You don't give sex, you engage or partake in it. Thanks.
Jessica clearly works very hard at balanced perspectives and really I applaud her for it. 👏👏 But on the topic of sexuality, her natural feminine bias shows. And that's alright. For most men, libido is a fact. Libido is instinctual and does not lend itself to the realms of compromise. Either we're getting it or we're not. I also believe a lady's emotional needs should never be neglected either. Like Sizakele said in the comments below, it's best to be intentional about finding someone whose sex drive matches ours. Sexual compatibility is too often underrated and overlooked which will likely lead to problems later on. I've experienced this. This subject matter can be almost entirely avoided by being honest with ourselves and our potential partners about our sexual appetites early on (not first date, but soon thereafter 😜). Good conversation! 😃
@@andrewadusei3883 😂😂 Andy she’s a girl noww. I guess you remember she said that if your lady isn’t willing to give sex, you can both negotiate for her to come sleep over for emotional connection. Woaaa how does it sound in your ears??😁😁😁
@@kofiduku934 😂😂 emotional connection b3n. Everyman is a man and every man might respond to situations differently, if you dont give him sex and he leave how does that make him inmature. the lady is supposed to submit and give him what he wants so the two of you can leave in harmony but if you can’t give him that and he finds it somewhere else what is inmature about this.
@@andrewadusei3883 nothing that's the problem women do not rule the world God loves men just as much as women meaning that it goes both ways if he can find better then he's entitled to as well as the woman no love lost..
It's interesting how I found myself here and haven't done any of these 5 mistakes. I never begged for sex, always prioritized true love, always wanted my partner to feel good first and make sure she can trust me, Id even delay sex myself. But my ex partner didnt still give me sex and I still dont feel bitter or bad about it, sure, I wanted it but it was never severe, could always control myself and find other things to do with her, what does kinda suck in my experience is that despite me being understanding, loving, utmost loyal and caring...she wouldnt reciprocate. And its still fine, I grew from that relationship and wouldnt take her back not because she didnt give me sex...but because of her selfishness and not being sexual with me is only one of the signs of that.
Then you must have grown to understand that a woman who denies you sex and you understand, will surely lose respect for you. Women don't need a ye mam man. They take you as a weak man. You need to stop it now. Make sure you're also prioritized in the relationship as well. She can't be the one whose needs are met without compromise but cannot satisfy one integral need of the relationship.
@@andrewmabuza5246 oh believe me man I would say no to her plenty of times. And yea, I shouldve ended it sooner, definitely. Crazy thing is she is now stalking me probably wondering why Im not hung up on her after she left. I upgraded, prioritize myself and I work everyday. She couldnt come back even if she wanted to. Im seeing other women, hell, even sleeping with some.
Well unless she's a virgin or very undoubtedly religious I don't think I'd put myself through that for any other reason... sex is one thing I could never deprive myself of because of someone, especially if we have had it before. If you don't give it to me then I'm getting it somewhere else
Men get married for 2 reasons primarily. 1. Consistent sex and 2. To start a family. When a woman you are married to you denies sex she is violating the covenant of marriage. Have a conversation find out why express your concern and if she continues to deny sex then leave the relationship it is over. If she is dating you and you have never had sex then know what you want. Men never settle for less than what you want. Jess I agree with not threatening and not cheating, I don't agrees with continuing to spend and do for her. Pull back have conversation and know your limits men.
I think this works on a single level. Once women and men are married, you are telling your partner that they are the only one. So many marriages end because they become sexless
I disagree. Its not fair for a man who is in a monogomous relationship and is faithful to have to put with that. Basically she has friendzoned him but still expects all the benefits of a full relationship. Its best to leave her alone.
Hi Jessi love your channel I sometimes watch it the whole day and forget I got chore 😅 ...sometimes a woman can stop having sex with a men because they don't share the same sexual energy to the point where the female just stops feeling sexually attracted to the other person...
Jess, I always love and rock with your content and hope you get to over 5M subscribers very soon. However, this content was a direct contradiction from some of your earlier content advising men in this same kinda situation. You've told us guys about watching out for these kinda traits ladies use in manipulating guys and yet you're giving advice contrary to what you've mentioned earlier. For guys out there, just know that the moment she starts manipulating you by witholding the cookie all of sudden, find the self respect within you to walk away. It really hits different when you're being there for her both emotionally and resource wise and there's no reciprocity whatsoever. Her body her choice fine and good but also know that it's okay for you to walk away when you're not getting what you want or desire either especially when you both have made it known from the beginning. 9 times outta 10, if she's stopped being intimate with you no matter what flimsy reason she gives you, she's most likely getting her back blown out by another dude. You're just the safe (nice) guy she can do that to because she knows deep down that you'd probably simp and stay. Some of you see the writing on the wall but still think you can speak English and reason with her. Negotiating cuddling instead 🤣🤣😂 now that one took me off guard. I really laughed at that one I must say. Personally, I make my intentions known from the get and I'll also tell you if you plan on playing these manipulative games, I'm a master at that as well. Find the respect and dignity within you to come to terms with the situation, end it and find someone else who'll play ball on your level. There's nothing wrong with that.
This is some of the best feedback I have come across on this video. I wholeheartedly agree with you. I am currently going through a similar situation and she blames her hormones for the abrupt interruption of our active sex life. However, since she is not my wife but only a girlfriend, I have the discretion of getting my groove in with somebody else.
Great video, Jessica!!! I wish men & women can put in the work to understand the psychology of the opposite sex. Don't bother being with a man if you won't invest the effort to understand how a man thinks and feels about these things; so that you can effectively learn where, when, and how to make compromises. I dare say that a man's desire for sexual intimacy is akin to a woman's desire for attention and affection. You will always find the average woman where the attention is, and you will always find the average man where the "cookie" is. Starve either of them of their 'drug', and watch that relationship fade. Trying to fight it is trying to fight nature... And nature ALWAYS wins.
Maybe it’s best not to get in a relationship with a woman who doesn’t want to sleep with you; because some of her have predominately sexual relationships with their exes. It’s best to stick with the ones you click with.
I disagree with you. What is love without sex? Well, if you want a relationship without sex, also consider a relationship without collecting money. I COME IN PEACE
I am not agreed with you with certain points. I believe if a woman is truly attracted to you. She will give you no matter what. A lot a women put a rules for men that she is not attractive too and prefer to give to someone else that she is in too
Women loose interest after giving birth. I dated a woman with 2 kids and things changed after we had a child (my 1st child) and I lost my job. Intimacy stopped from her side and I tried to communicate this and suggested we seek counseling to help us find ourselves. She dumped me and told me she's going back to church and feels dirty that we are having Intimacy out of wedlock. I decided to leave the relationship because of the increasing disrespect from her and her kids. Best thing I've ever done for myself.
@Jessica Os, I have watched most of your videos and I found them helpful except this one. Today I choose to respectfully disagree. If she doesn't want to give you some, just leave her - End the relationship right away. There is no time to play games.
Exactly. This video would have be valid maybe 10 years ago . If the woman is not giving it up she basically has ended the relationship in my eyes . No way I’m gonna stick around for that shit .
The moderator talks as though sex is just for guys alone,she paints this picture of guys being sex hungry at all times and benefits more.Always strike a balance ma’am
Many times they have a reason that took away their mood for you. Sometimes it’s a new health issue or something you negatively did or is doing that sapped her desire for you!
Well, if he isn't getting wh at he wants, why stay? She'll never change. Women have and used their bodies for yrs to get what they want. After they get what they want then her true self arrives. This is a problem for men. Men have to learn this before they get into a relationship. Especially marriage. I've known Women to have told their guys that, " I never liked doing that anyway " this comes after you've made that commitment to "I do". So Women quit playing that game.
@@BigMan-ke6zb Well that's unfortunate. What I am saying is you'll actually see this from her talks and actions. You don't have to intimate every time. Immediately you do that, it can get boring and it's more of a red flag
I love your channel Jessica 💯 But I disagree with you on this one. Based on the mistakes to avoid, it appears the woman has the power in the relationship.👍🏾 If a woman chooses not to have sex with her man, then that is her choice. However, the man has the choice to leave her as well ‼️
It's a pity that in the 80/90s sex and in particular men's sexual needs got downplayed so much in society and our media, and not regarded as important for our mindfulness and fundamental to the health of a relationship. I wouldn't enter into a relationship now without having discussed sexual tastes and libido and recognising a sexual compatibility as well as being compatible as people. One thing that I think is not openly talked about enough is the inclusion of sex (of any kind) in the monogamous relationship model and the codes and morals promoted by faith groups. Marriage was brought in for a several reasons, but one was as a way to legitimise sex between couples rather than sex being written off as a sin. Although in reality it had more to do with suppressing female sexuality, but that's another debater altogether. The way it's considered as something that can only exist between a couple creates some unhealthy attitudes for people. Those who aren't into sex and don't need it often or even at all, feel obliged to "lie back and think of England". The more dominant ones who refuse to have sex and belittle their partner's need for sex feel hurt and betrayed when suddenly their partner receives it elsewhere. The person wanting sex but not getting it is forced to endure feelings of frustration and rejection. If he/she has to beg and plead for sex or resort to masturbation (which just ain't the same) then they have to get used to feelings of shame and dissatisfaction and this alters their behaviours and interactions meaning that other people could suffer as a result. If they get it elsewhere then they have to live with a sense of guilt as well as dealing with the stress of the risks associated with it.
This is the biggest load of garbage I've ever heard in my life. If she won't sleep with you before marriage that's fine if you're into that too. But as far a women you've already slept with leave her, shes either cheating or she wants to period.
So long as she's not expecting me to play a boyfriend role! Nowadays women will use the guy they find less attractive while giving it all to the one they are attracted too! If a woman so says is not willing to engage with you sexualy is because she doesn't find you attractive. Ask for a break up there is absolutely nothing immature about that
This was very mature as has been your content that I have seen. I like the way you balanced out the points. All to say if there is a connection acting rashly may hinder what is needed.
The worst thing that any man can do is to believe that any woman is too special. There are many women out there better than that woman you are with, If you are not getting love as you want just move on to another woman. She can't stay with you if she is not getting anything.
I got cheated by ex wife, in a BIG WAY. I am 55 being 18 years in the marriage, with two handsome children. I would like to share an extremely important suggestion. You can consider it to be an add on, to beautiful Jessica's video. As we ALL aware INFEDILITY number one problem, in breaking of the marriage. Very important GUY FRIENDS, never take your friend home. ALWAYS guard your wife from the closest friend or closest relative. This phenomena normally takes place within or around your family. So beware guys, keep your guard up, at ALL times.
Hmmm Jessica de3,I just want to see her with my eyes…I still think she is some celestial being…hmmm…she rocks too much it’s makes me teary…nipa but koraa na ne ho twa sei??? 😩
**Nice one Jessica** when i was growing as a teenager, my granmum use to warn me that "SEX does not satisfy"! she said that,when she notice that young girls are always coming around in search of me for school assignment, for text book.... I learnt that lesson! Some Ladies are always willing to give you **MORE**that you can ever ask or **Recieve** But, you need to be patient enough because**you cannot always get what you see** Regards --wordpresguy from rome--
Love is sharing, and sharing is supposed to be reciprocal. Ever think if a man approached a girl and there is nothing like sharing at all, how would it be? To me it's selfishness, if men are also selfish, how would it be... A man loves u genuinely, cares for you, and wants to share the love with him by making love and you find reasons to decline,but u would take everything he gives you without saying that it should wait? My dear it's selfishness, love has to be expressed, and one significant ways of expressing love is by love making
Hey Jess, thanks for this. It was really helpful. I'm looking forward to a video describing a situation if the table was turned: "What to do when you don't want to give her sex and she's upset." That kinda thing.
I enjoy your videos. When it comes to duties in a relationship as it relates to a man a sexual appetite is important. Not understanding this can be frustrating. No who you are and what you can afford and what you can’t afford to have in your life.
OK. So what I hear you saying is when a woman pulls away from you sexually, you should not in turn pull away from her, or withold the emotional support that you were giving her. Bcuz that may send a message to her that sex was all you wanted or that it was conditional. The emotional connection which includes trust is something she needs to feel safe in the relationship in order to give herself fully to you physically. Do I understand that correctly? If So, & we agree that our actions send messages whether intended or not. What message is she sending if she pulls back physically even tho the emotional aspect of the relationship has been consistent on his end? Doesn't that put us in a type of chicken or the egg situation? Is it not a fact that sex as far as she is concerned is conditioned on the emotional aspect? It's widely accepted that women only love their children & their pets unconditionally. Why would having unspoken preset conditions be a considered a negative thing then on the man's part?
Hello Jessica, how are you, hope all is well? Anyway, I love your videos, and this one stands out to me as the first I know how it feels to be in love when you are in love, you would find out that is more than just sex, is about knowing and understanding the person giving that person the reason to make love, making that person feel safe and respected, you love that person you would be faithful and so it is important to communicate and talk about whatever problem together, not being selfish about it. This is my take on it.
I really do like yr videos Jess, i like most advices u give but this time naaa, my health is the most important thing to me and when things go wrong i should be able to express myself to be people who wld listen and understand Holding in to impress the lady that am strong or what is not what going to make me feel better, when things r not well with u and yr partner u open up. U seek for help people that understands Secondly is just a matter of pirority, if a man gives everything to a woman then it means he cares he want her but when the woman keeps refusing he just have to stop and move on, trying to still do all those things to her in order to win her is just a waist of time and money cos most girls they have other men that keep coming to them and giving them things as well, so if she refuses you just cut it off and move on. And its not just about the sex is about her love as well. If she refuses to give in the logical thing is to cut all benefits and move on
Hello Jessica. Nice to have you. Would you mind if I share an idea on this video? Don't teach people to have sex before marriage. This would make their life complicated as it is sin before God. Your content on other relationship advice is good.
I love the angel Jessica is coming from. It's mostly about the kind of person she is, what values she upholds. Though most women don't give in into sex easily so as for you not to tag her as a loose woman. Therefore, we guys need to be patient with them most times unless it's transactional
What if your partner accused you of cheating and then stopped displaying intimacy? How does this apply then? I feel I made the mistake trying to prove that I wasn't cheating. "Are you dating anyone new yet" was one of the last things she asked while she was with a male best friend I had never met. (Just trying to get the female perspective)
@@c.conga11 I appreciate your words brother. I admit I may have handled her too gently and didn't set proper boundaries. I threw logic away and led with emotion (love), because I thought that was the missing link from my previous relationships. Being emotional available is not the same thing as blindly loving someone unconditionally. Valuable lesson.
@@thill1661 stop trying so hard to convince her that you’re not cheating…. She needs that lil bit of doubt You’ll be on her mind all day… emotion is ur best friend. Let her feel that
Who else clicked of the video the moment she asked us not to cheat when we're in a sexless relationship. MY KINGS NO WOMAN IS WORTH YOUR SANITY DON'T EVER GIVE ONE WOMAN THAT KIND OF POWER OVER YOU and it's not cheating if she withholds sex first This is why you never ask a lady for relationship advice..IT IS LIKE ASKING THE FISH HOW TO CATCH FISH
I haven't watched all your videos but there's something about this one that's so honest and I can tell you didn't have to research so much or read a script. It came straight from the heart and i appreciate that. Thanx for all the great pointers...keep working ur way up ur relationship doctor degree😉
Hello Ms. Jessica I usually don’t make a point to comment on any RUclips videos (yours or others) but this particular video I felt deemed a response. I think the advice you gave to the guys on this particular video was wild and unrealistic. It’s not only frustrating but disrespectful that every time a man’s needs or desires are referenced by women they’re deemed as immature. As men we are expected to provide provision, protect, and profess to the women were involved with no matter the case and if we don’t than we’re immature, insecure or some other shaming language to justify the manipulative tactics that women use on men. Any man in any relationship who is not also having his needs met by his partner should leave. Simple. Not because he’s having a tantrum, but because relationships are about both parties needs being met. Not just one side. It doesn’t matter if the need is something small or large. If it’s something that is valued by that partner, and was understood by both parties that the need was expected to be met in the relationship than that person is not holding up their end of the bargain. Only men are expected to continue to meet all the needs of their women and get nothing in return. No man values cuddling over physical intimacy, and we should not be asked to compromise our needs by our women. If men told women like “Hey my love, I found a new religious belief that doesn’t allow me to protect you unless we’re married so whilst we’re dating if any danger arises you’re on your own” no woman on planet earth would allow that. Women understand that the protection from their counter part is a non-negotiable thing and would never listen to any man trying to convince her otherwise. I don’t want to harp with this comment it’s already entirely too long but fellas if you’re in a relationship with someone who is not willing to meet your needs with the same energy that you meet theirs LEAVE! Find yourself a partner who’s better aligned with your values and willing to meet your needs like you are to them.
For a private consultation with me, sign up as a VVIP here: www.patreon.com/jessicaos
As a Man , don't make the mistake of being in a relationship with a girl who doesn't rate u or not physically & sexually attracted to u . Women break rules for much better guys and make rules for guys they do not rate . . If she doesn't want to be involved with u intimatly , but she wanna stay as friends , let her go , unless u are ok with such rules .
So true
Facts
I see *Red pillers in the room.
Dump that selfish thing
Your comment is better than the whole video
I don’t think it’s immature to ask for a breakup if not getting sex. It doesn’t mean that’s all u want. The bathroom isn’t the reason why I bought my house but I wouldn’t buy that house if it didn’t have a bathroom. 🤷🏾♂️
U get sense
Thanks so much. N it also means I’m not prepared to cheat on you 😊
Men lose the ability to physically touch anyone soon as he hit puberty. Scientifically speaking men can only express love in a physical matter opposed to women that is able to get stimulation from other things. When you cut a man off of sex it means he is not loved. No Matter how the women try to slice it he will not believe anything. Unfortunately some women are aware of this knowledge and using it against weak unsecured men for manipulation.
Barsss!!!!
Yes I heard a comedian say that and it made soo much sense!
There's always gonna be someone who's willing to give it up. What I can tell my fellow brothers is don't beg.
never
@HLM How is that ??
I think this refers to your actual girl tho
No SEX? Just Leave! She thinks she is BETTER THAN YOU! Trust me!….She’s mad and THINKS you want her body only, why are Men not mad because she Only wants your RESOURCES and long term.. Bros.. Think!!
absolutely, no sex means shes lost all respect. ditch her pronto.
Obviously you didn't learn anything from the video you just watched
@@fitforlifepft1 I've been on this channel since forever.
If sex is your problem, patronize a hooker everytime you're in the mood.
If a relationship is what you want, be ready to adjust to some of your partner's feelings same way she will adjust to some of yours. Compromise !
For people like you, the relationship/marriage ends when you're no longer sexually attracted to your partner. Why not? When you center everything around sex, at some point you will get more than even want to consume. What next? Infidelity?
It's only an immature man that places sex first at all times. Many of you will complain about cheating wives and that's okay, most of you get what you deserve because you lost a good woman because she refused to give you sex (for reasons you both must have already communicated).
You’re a true ALPHA💯
@@fitforlifepft1 exactly
On this one, I have to disagree, as have a number of men in the comments. If a woman was giving you sex before, then she stops, that means she has changed the nature of the relationship and she cannot reasonably expect you to continue behaving the same, while she herself has changed her behaviour (by withdrawing sex).
And it is not a matter of "So all you wanted was sex!" No, she has removed a key part of the relationship. It's like removing a window of a car then when a passenger complains, you say "So all you wanted was a window!"
Hahah
ahahahhhh im dying laughing
Hahahaha you nailed it
That analogy 😅😂🤣
You must be a lawyer. Hahaha
Hi Jessica, I been following you for couple of years and I do really like your approach to relationship struggles and solutions but this one as a man I feel differently. As a man sex is very pivotal, essential and not only symbolic but defining. For my woman to deny me sex without prior explanation or cause communication, it portrays disrespect and disregard. For men we want you to make sence to us over your reactions
I experienced a sexless relationship for a couple of years. I didn't cheat and I didn't threaten to leave. We had kids together, for one thing. However, when you get to "mistake 3" and upwards, the problem there is that when you are dealing with this kind of situation the stress and depression that is put upon you MAKES you into not being that amazing person they once knew. You CAN'T just act as if nothing has changed and continue to be incredible, you don't have that kind of energy anymore because nobody has been returning the generosity that you put forth.
That’s the very hard part of being in a relationship!
Facts upon facts
Honestly, it gets really hard especially when you love someone with all your heart. Serious depression sets in & you start hating this person. The unfortunate bit is that she will later blame you for the change in behavior forgetting she's the one who caused it
@@collinsbamuturaki4274 Yep, exactly what happened. And I REFUSED to stop loving her with all my heart, but like I said that love was killed by constant disregard for me. Not bitter, just telling my story.
Very well said
So let me get this straight, she's supposed to deny you the cookie and you're not supposed to look for satisfaction elsewhere ?? That sounds crazy to me
Same here
When they deny the cookie there’s another guy she’s seeing it. Same thing happened to me
Sounds too crazy to me too. I can't please.
She's giving advice from a woman's perspective. I advise you to seek further counsel 😆 🤣
Honestly
Mistake 2 is something I will never do in a relationship. The only reason we go into a relationship is sex, then the rest. Even women, cheat if you can't satisfy them. The moment she stops having sex with you, you have all the right to assume that she is getting it somewhere else. Chances are that she is already speaking to someone to which she will give it to him. One last thing, sex is a deal breaker for all men. No man will ever date a girl who made it known from a word go that no sex will be involved but women can date you just for the benefits and leave if she is not getting anything from the relationship.
Exactly
From experience I know for a fact once a woman stop having sex with you it's cause she is already talking to another guy. Her interest is somewhere else.
Making alooooooot of assumptions here bro. Women change there minds more then thy change their sheets. Half the fun of being told no is seeing how you can turn that no into a yes and if you know how to operate you can turn that no into a yes. Someone once told me never expect sex from a female. I didn't understand then. I do now.
@@zmatthew91You're wrong. No mean NO. It is not my duty to try and convince an adult to change their minds. If they are not willing, they must inform me when they have changed their mind. I do not subscribe to mediocrity and no one should be subjected to such behavior. If a woman says no, it should be taken as such, not otherwise.
What if she’s still a virgin…?
As a man with a strong drive, I can tell you that to wait for a woman to give you sex and to have to resort to “satisfying yourself”, is very hard on the male Antony. This comes from several physicians who have relayed that prostate, lower lymph gland, and testicular problems significantly increase “satisfying yourself”, The best advice is to find a sexual active Woman!
I'm not SURE if letting a woman know that if she's not available physically, you will leave her is being immature (It's all in the tone, energy and information you provide when telling her this) Sex is a VERY serious part of a HEALTHY relationship and for me as a man it's a part of my comfort zone within the relationship so if she's going to take my comfort away without a reasonable explanation, a comprise would be ideal but if a comprises can't be reached an ultimatum has to be put on the board. I feel that if you say your going to leave her for that, the threat can't be empty, a empty threat is what makes you immature and this is just my humble opinion
This is so true. Sex is an integral part of a healthy relationship. Mind you, all women if they are not getting enough sex, will surely get it somewhere. They might not leave you but when she has to choose, she will choose better sex than a nice guy who meets her material needs.
It’s a good opinion
As a man the moment she suddenly refuse to have sex with you automatically she's getting it from someone else , simple.
@@WitchOnABroomstick please where did you hear that from.
I totally agree
@@WitchOnABroomstick The she can either kick rocks in Afghanistan or learn how to share. I'm not going to do my part as a Man if she won't even do the basics, which includes sex; Women really need to stop with the bait and switch bs. You know you didn't pull that crap with pookie, rayray, chad, tyrone, and hector so what makes you think you can treat me that way?
@@patrickemeka6286 ask for me wai😂
Word
The biggest thing is to really know what you want as a man. If you want a relationship that involve sexual activities with your partner, go for someone who is willing to engage in such relationship. I always say never try to make someone happy at the expense of your own happiness. It's not good both in the short and in the long term to put up with her "values" when ultimately that's going to make you an unhappy person. She is happy to be in a relationship with you and engage less in sexual activities with you or not engage at all. On the other hand, you have desires and the desires run high sometimes, but you just can't engage in sex because of her "values". It ultimately makes you a miserable man with a happy woman.
You are very correct.
Well expressed. 💯💯
Word!!!
Thank you
This sums it up
So let me get this straight. She gives up sex and then stops. The man is supposed to just accept it and show her his love with out receiving love back? Lmmfao
I’m stunned as well
@@archerx68 sex is the only thing a woman can show a man that she is in love with him. Tell me something else that you know which you are sure any man will be convinced she loves him if it is not sex.
Goes back to the only thing women bring to the table is sex?...
@@andrewmabuza5246 one of her hot friends
🤣🤣
I think this video is good for singles that are just dating, but the truth is, unless you are an immature person or couple . Chances are if it's been too long into the relationship then your goals are not inline and you should just move on. Now I think the most common version of this topic is among married couples. Now that's the video I'd like to see. The implications are endless....
It doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman, we all expect consistency. Don’t introduce me to an image of yourself you don’t plan on maintaining. If you like it 5 times a day, cool. If you like it twice a week, cool. Cause when you give us sex 3-5 times a day or week, we close the door on anyone else but when you suddenly stop without any explanation at all, you’re opening a window to invite someone else to do what you refuse to. A medical condition is a different story. Or any kind of legit reason. It damages us mentally and emotionally hearing no all of a sudden for weeks on end with no reason.
I have been in a similar situation and sorry Jess your solutions don't work. Most of the time, if a woman loses genuine desire for you they're gone. They only come to their senses when they see that other women desires for you. Unless it's because of a medical complication, if a woman is not giving me sex, I sure am getting it elsewhere and if she finds out, she decides whether she wants to stay or go!
Otumfour Kojo Agyemang
Yeah man, what else is there in a relationship if there is no sex???
Yes! And once it's gone it is gone for GOOD.
Solution number 5.
A married couple who now have kids wanted a code word for sex so they agreed to use the term, "use the washing machine". One day the man came home and asked to "use the washing machine" and his wife replied, "Not tonight hun, a bit tired". The following night he came home and asked again and she replied, "Not feeling like doing any laundry tonight, I hope you understand". He said ok and went to bed. The following night he came home before her and waited in bed. When she got home she asked, "Hun would you like to use the washing machine tonight?". He replied, "No thanks, I had a small load so I did it by hand" 😁
She better watch out. He might stop at a laundromat soon.
Finde ich gut damit hat man der Frau das Instrument der Manipulation entzogen und sie kann selbst einmal darauf hängen bleiben. Wenn Sie es dann mit jemand anderen macht dann hat sich die Beziehung wohl erledigt.
Hahaha Baba don start Handromat
😸
@@thomasuwewichmann4398 💙
I remember when I dated my ex. She took time to give it away at the beginning. Fast forward and once upon a time , she gave it away within 2 weeks to “another”. So I think it depends on the lady…
Correction: everyone has a 6th sense of cheating.
Physical intimacy is a love language. You need to make absolutely clear that your needs will not be ignored. We live in a time where everything is taken for granted. Your women will actually bank on the notion that you will not cheat in her. But, you do not have cheat on her to get your point across. Affirm that your needs aren't being met. Giver an opportunity to correct her ways. If that dies not work emotionally detach yourself from her. She'll reconsider her values. This isn't a guide to make someone sleep with you. Either she wants to be romantically involved with you, or she does not. You'll find your answer either way.
True. a woman who really likes you physically and mentally won't play games or give you conditions. if any woman tries that gimmick with me, I don move o. I don't play stupid games. She ll break the rules if she really likes you jare.
Excellent Advice..✌🏿
@@darlingtonofoje4462 exactly
@@darlingtonofoje4462 I like your spirit, it resonates with mine
Johnsmith.. is the fjkn mannn..spit that knowledge.
I believe relationship issues should be handled on a individual by individual basis. People are different and so is their reasoning and reasons for taking certain stands.
Being denied sex in a relationship is a very unpleasant moment. I will say Moment because it's not supposed to last for a long time. There should be valid reasons to support why she is not giving you sex, because the same person who is denying you sex will be asking for other favours from you. Women are calculative beings and if she starts denying you what she has given before,your concerns as a man should rise. So I will disagree with you Jess because if she needs me to make daily sacrifices for her with my wallet and attention,she should at least give me some cookie, but if she thinks I don't deserve it then I should leave her and get someone else simple. Love is all about sacrifices.
Yes
I agree
I would like to ask this woman, why does she think strip clubs are full of married men? It's because married women have this thing marriage twisted. Strippers are very smart too. They'll prefere a married man over a single guy. The reason is they understand why the married man is there. It's because of his none sexual wife or girlfriend. Believe that.
One of the best comments ever indeed🤛
Women get job/career... Save your money!... Men always make it about their wallet and your a$$🍑
pu$$¥ c😽 sex isn't Free... Sounds like legalized prostitution...
Most women love men but hate Deez
🌰🍆🌰....
The same woman will break the rules for another man in a split second. Sex is not the price just as my responsibility towards her is not the price but duty. Brothers run
180km/hr🏃♂️
Murife dont run 🤣
Dear Jessica, sex is one of the basic needs on the Maslow pyramid, the "physiological needs". Food is also a physiological need on that very same model. You can ask someone not to eat for a week, maybe two, but at the end that physiological need has to be satisfied. I completely understand the point when you talk about possible objective obstacles to sex, it can be some health issue for example, nevertheless an healthy human being (not talking only about men) cannot compromise on this basic need for too long. This is just my humble opinion.
And if it's an health issue that's why they say communication is the bedrock of every relationship so she should be able to talk about it if she loves you she should not be keeping quiet that quietness drives a man crazy cause your mind will be thinking many things like maybe she is just using you and nowadays most girls do that that's why at the end that when the guy propose to them they throw the ring at him because they never loved him but using him so if your girl is doing that especially someone who has a lot of experience so what do you expect a guy like that to do so I believe there should be a good conversation between them serious one at that
Very well said
After marriage your submission stands, if before, then it becomes a whole different topic.
I’d say 90% of the time, she’s not attracted to you anymore.
Blessed is the man who hears his kids calling you mom.
I am here in SA🇿🇦 and I wish I were that man! He is truly blessed!
I have followed you for sometime you are the best!
Simply drop her
There are plenty of women
Supreme yourself and level up
Some lucky girl is gonna want that dragon
Love is more than that, but so many females say, “ love don’t pay my bills”
Is interesting how we do say "give u sex" when we talk about men and women sexual relationships like if saying women don't want sex themselves, sex is mutual it should be "if she's not having sex with u" not "if she's not giving u sex"....we need to correct this idea honestly.
Exactly
A big pointer!
Because women decide when and who to give sex to
It's soo irritating
@@robertdesmond1131 it's not irritating..if she doesn't give u..what do u want to do....force her?
It's very simple she doesn't respect you and it's time for you to go your own way...speaking from experience of course
Unless a woman is a Virgin or denying for health related reasons, denying ur man sex or a man who loves u sex is purely manipulative.
What if I stop providing for her as well for a while, will she stay ?
Brothers when a woman denies u the cookey and it is not health related for more than a week or 2 ,brothers move.
I support you
The woman being a virgin isn't even an issue. When a woman truly loves you, they can go to lengths of even breaking their virginity. Just for you.
@@gabrieltetteh9830 i agree my brother. Some of these over westernized African women feel it's ok to use sex as a tool of manipulation and expect men to flow in the name of love and duty. While a man would is expected to maintain his duty to her no matter what happens. You deny me the cookey and i get it elsewhere plain and simple but will still love u. It's not dat deep.
Exactly. This makes alot of sense.
@@gabrieltetteh9830 that very mistake that has made woman change their mind abt giving the cookie
When your woman who always gives you sex, starts not to give you sex, I can give you 💯 assurance she is no longer interested in you anymore. Her mind is somewhere else, if you force her, she will lie down for you to come do it and go, she won't participate. If you see her coming back to you, the other guy disappointed her big Time so she will quickly change for you. There are times naturally even men don't feel for sex, you have to take note of this too;if she don't want sex for a day or two or a week is normal Bro. Understand her and give her time, maybe she is going through tough times
@@WitchOnABroomstick pls stop that crap😮
@@WitchOnABroomstick no but the fact that your vigilantly commenting that everywhere shows your pushing an agenda.
@@WitchOnABroomstick no but the fact that your vigilantly commenting that everywhere shows your pushing an agenda.
Especially when there on the rag!
My wife of 30 years just told me she does not want to have sex with me because I don't help enough with the kids. She says although I don't work I could give her a break sometimes. I told her she was wrong to think that way and that moms and dads never get a break. I asked for Hugs and Kisses after realizing I had not been hugged or kissed by my wife in almost six months. Seems like the wife is the roommate and I didn't even know it.
Jessica, no man should stay in a relationship where there's no sex. Once she denies you sex go get it elsewhere.
👊🏾
Point blank period
Simple. Any woman that doesn't understand that should get out of the relationship or not get married.
If a lady uses sex withdrawal as a manipulative too... I recommend reading the manipulated man by Esther V.
You don't give sex, you engage or partake in it. Thanks.
Rules are made for beta men and broken for alpha men
100
💯
The SIMPS will never get this😂
Jessica clearly works very hard at balanced perspectives and really I applaud her for it. 👏👏 But on the topic of sexuality, her natural feminine bias shows. And that's alright. For most men, libido is a fact. Libido is instinctual and does not lend itself to the realms of compromise. Either we're getting it or we're not. I also believe a lady's emotional needs should never be neglected either. Like Sizakele said in the comments below, it's best to be intentional about finding someone whose sex drive matches ours. Sexual compatibility is too often underrated and overlooked which will likely lead to problems later on. I've experienced this. This subject matter can be almost entirely avoided by being honest with ourselves and our potential partners about our sexual appetites early on (not first date, but soon thereafter 😜). Good conversation! 😃
True paaa😂😂😂 she is thinking like a girl here paaa
I concur
@@andrewadusei3883 😂😂 Andy she’s a girl noww. I guess you remember she said that if your lady isn’t willing to give sex, you can both negotiate for her to come sleep over for emotional connection. Woaaa how does it sound in your ears??😁😁😁
@@kofiduku934 😂😂 emotional connection b3n. Everyman is a man and every man might respond to situations differently, if you dont give him sex and he leave how does that make him inmature. the lady is supposed to submit and give him what he wants so the two of you can leave in harmony but if you can’t give him that and he finds it somewhere else what is inmature about this.
@@andrewadusei3883 nothing that's the problem women do not rule the world God loves men just as much as women meaning that it goes both ways if he can find better then he's entitled to as well as the woman no love lost..
It's interesting how I found myself here and haven't done any of these 5 mistakes. I never begged for sex, always prioritized true love, always wanted my partner to feel good first and make sure she can trust me, Id even delay sex myself. But my ex partner didnt still give me sex and I still dont feel bitter or bad about it, sure, I wanted it but it was never severe, could always control myself and find other things to do with her, what does kinda suck in my experience is that despite me being understanding, loving, utmost loyal and caring...she wouldnt reciprocate. And its still fine, I grew from that relationship and wouldnt take her back not because she didnt give me sex...but because of her selfishness and not being sexual with me is only one of the signs of that.
Then you must have grown to understand that a woman who denies you sex and you understand, will surely lose respect for you. Women don't need a ye mam man. They take you as a weak man. You need to stop it now. Make sure you're also prioritized in the relationship as well. She can't be the one whose needs are met without compromise but cannot satisfy one integral need of the relationship.
@@andrewmabuza5246 oh believe me man I would say no to her plenty of times. And yea, I shouldve ended it sooner, definitely. Crazy thing is she is now stalking me probably wondering why Im not hung up on her after she left. I upgraded, prioritize myself and I work everyday. She couldnt come back even if she wanted to. Im seeing other women, hell, even sleeping with some.
Did you spend your money on her in the first place
I smell happy friendzoning
Well unless she's a virgin or very undoubtedly religious I don't think I'd put myself through that for any other reason... sex is one thing I could never deprive myself of because of someone, especially if we have had it before. If you don't give it to me then I'm getting it somewhere else
Period
Men get married for 2 reasons primarily. 1. Consistent sex and 2. To start a family. When a woman you are married to you denies sex she is violating the covenant of marriage. Have a conversation find out why express your concern and if she continues to deny sex then leave the relationship it is over. If she is dating you and you have never had sex then know what you want. Men never settle for less than what you want. Jess I agree with not threatening and not cheating, I don't agrees with continuing to spend and do for her. Pull back have conversation and know your limits men.
Guy’s it’s not that serious. Just move on!!!!, and get it from someone else. Don’t be thirsty always make them want you 🤷♂️
I think this works on a single level. Once women and men are married, you are telling your partner that they are the only one. So many marriages end because they become sexless
Hi Jessica thank you so much for being a blessing watching from Nigeria
You are so welcome!
Thank you for being who you are, GOD bless you and all who are close to your ❤
I disagree. Its not fair for a man who is in a monogomous relationship and is faithful to have to put with that. Basically she has friendzoned him but still expects all the benefits of a full relationship. Its best to leave her alone.
Facts that is considered emotional and mental abuse. Especially if she was sexual in the beginning of the relationship and completely fell off.
Hi Jessi love your channel I sometimes watch it the whole day and forget I got chore 😅 ...sometimes a woman can stop having sex with a men because they don't share the same sexual energy to the point where the female just stops feeling sexually attracted to the other person...
Jess, I always love and rock with your content and hope you get to over 5M subscribers very soon. However, this content was a direct contradiction from some of your earlier content advising men in this same kinda situation. You've told us guys about watching out for these kinda traits ladies use in manipulating guys and yet you're giving advice contrary to what you've mentioned earlier.
For guys out there, just know that the moment she starts manipulating you by witholding the cookie all of sudden, find the self respect within you to walk away. It really hits different when you're being there for her both emotionally and resource wise and there's no reciprocity whatsoever. Her body her choice fine and good but also know that it's okay for you to walk away when you're not getting what you want or desire either especially when you both have made it known from the beginning.
9 times outta 10, if she's stopped being intimate with you no matter what flimsy reason she gives you, she's most likely getting her back blown out by another dude. You're just the safe (nice) guy she can do that to because she knows deep down that you'd probably simp and stay. Some of you see the writing on the wall but still think you can speak English and reason with her.
Negotiating cuddling instead 🤣🤣😂 now that one took me off guard. I really laughed at that one I must say.
Personally, I make my intentions known from the get and I'll also tell you if you plan on playing these manipulative games, I'm a master at that as well. Find the respect and dignity within you to come to terms with the situation, end it and find someone else who'll play ball on your level. There's nothing wrong with that.
Well said.
This is some of the best feedback I have come across on this video. I wholeheartedly agree with you. I am currently going through a similar situation and she blames her hormones for the abrupt interruption of our active sex life. However, since she is not my wife but only a girlfriend, I have the discretion of getting my groove in with somebody else.
I want you to know that I liked this comment before finishing it cos the sense is accurate. Women think we reason exactly like them
@@zat-en-aphpaneah2830 medaase. Pls do
Great insights. I wish I knew this earlier but its never too late to learn. You're a sister most guys never had because of your depth of insights ❤❤❤
Great video, Jessica!!!
I wish men & women can put in the work to understand the psychology of the opposite sex. Don't bother being with a man if you won't invest the effort to understand how a man thinks and feels about these things; so that you can effectively learn where, when, and how to make compromises. I dare say that a man's desire for sexual intimacy is akin to a woman's desire for attention and affection. You will always find the average woman where the attention is, and you will always find the average man where the "cookie" is. Starve either of them of their 'drug', and watch that relationship fade. Trying to fight it is trying to fight nature... And nature ALWAYS wins.
Mr Jude spot on, you just nailed it..
This is not only true, but brilliant!
SPOT ON!!
Succinctly opined.
Cheers!
Woaben ‼️
Maybe it’s best not to get in a relationship with a woman who doesn’t want to sleep with you; because some of her have predominately sexual relationships with their exes. It’s best to stick with the ones you click with.
I disagree with you.
What is love without sex?
Well, if you want a relationship without sex, also consider a relationship without collecting money.
I COME IN PEACE
She begs
Marry first, thank you.
@@Expensive-op6pn so both money and sex should wait till marriage
Thank you very much
When I meet a comerade I trace them. Big ups bro👊🏾😁
I am not agreed with you with certain points. I believe if a woman is truly attracted to you. She will give you no matter what. A lot a women put a rules for men that she is not attractive too and prefer to give to someone else that she is in too
BINGO ...
Women loose interest after giving birth. I dated a woman with 2 kids and things changed after we had a child (my 1st child) and I lost my job. Intimacy stopped from her side and I tried to communicate this and suggested we seek counseling to help us find ourselves. She dumped me and told me she's going back to church and feels dirty that we are having Intimacy out of wedlock. I decided to leave the relationship because of the increasing disrespect from her and her kids. Best thing I've ever done for myself.
This is what am going through
Hae teacher, your channel is much of a blessing mostly to Africa society where sex lessons are viewed negatively. God bless 🙏
Am really touched thanks alot it's like everything about this video pointed out my situation will surely follow your advice 🙏
@Jessica Os, I have watched most of your videos and I found them helpful except this one. Today I choose to respectfully disagree. If she doesn't want to give you some, just leave her - End the relationship right away. There is no time to play games.
No time, indeed. I agree
Exactly. This video would have be valid maybe 10 years ago . If the woman is not giving it up she basically has ended the relationship in my eyes . No way I’m gonna stick around for that shit .
@@willthiswork8 while you’ll be demanding responsibility from me
@@willthiswork8 what another woman won't do, another will.
@@alvinjayson facts!!
The moderator talks as though sex is just for guys alone,she paints this picture of guys being sex hungry at all times and benefits more.Always strike a balance ma’am
And this women want sex more than us but they just have de guys they want it wit
Wow queen you was Talking DIRECTLY TO ME .. thank you for the therapy 🎉🎉🎉🎉
All relationships are transactional.
How is that ?!
@@sar9089 you pay with you time, money, resources, attention etc etc. you give something to get something.
Many times they have a reason that took away their mood for you. Sometimes it’s a new health issue or something you negatively did or is doing that sapped her desire for you!
I agree
You're lucky when you get in a relationship with someone whose sex drive matches yours...
Yes but also dangerous, if she removes her panties that easily for you she will do it for anyone
I wouldn't say lucky because the day you get sick or travel then who's gonna take care of that sex drive, huh she will cheat on you 100%
Well, if he isn't getting wh at he wants, why stay? She'll never change. Women have and used their bodies for yrs to get what they want. After they get what they want then her true self arrives. This is a problem for men. Men have to learn this before they get into a relationship. Especially marriage. I've known Women to have told their guys that, " I never liked doing that anyway " this comes after you've made that commitment to "I do". So Women quit playing that game.
@@BigMan-ke6zb Well that's unfortunate. What I am saying is you'll actually see this from her talks and actions. You don't have to intimate every time. Immediately you do that, it can get boring and it's more of a red flag
Paaa
I love your channel Jessica 💯 But I disagree with you on this one. Based on the mistakes to avoid, it appears the woman has the power in the relationship.👍🏾
If a woman chooses not to have sex with her man, then that is her choice. However, the man has the choice to leave her as well ‼️
👊🏾👊🏾
A wise man once said never take relationships from a woman there side is always chosen.
It's a pity that in the 80/90s sex and in particular men's sexual needs got downplayed so much in society and our media, and not regarded as important for our mindfulness and fundamental to the health of a relationship. I wouldn't enter into a relationship now without having discussed sexual tastes and libido and recognising a sexual compatibility as well as being compatible as people.
One thing that I think is not openly talked about enough is the inclusion of sex (of any kind) in the monogamous relationship model and the codes and morals promoted by faith groups. Marriage was brought in for a several reasons, but one was as a way to legitimise sex between couples rather than sex being written off as a sin. Although in reality it had more to do with suppressing female sexuality, but that's another debater altogether. The way it's considered as something that can only exist between a couple creates some unhealthy attitudes for people. Those who aren't into sex and don't need it often or even at all, feel obliged to "lie back and think of England". The more dominant ones who refuse to have sex and belittle their partner's need for sex feel hurt and betrayed when suddenly their partner receives it elsewhere. The person wanting sex but not getting it is forced to endure feelings of frustration and rejection. If he/she has to beg and plead for sex or resort to masturbation (which just ain't the same) then they have to get used to feelings of shame and dissatisfaction and this alters their behaviours and interactions meaning that other people could suffer as a result. If they get it elsewhere then they have to live with a sense of guilt as well as dealing with the stress of the risks associated with it.
This is the biggest load of garbage I've ever heard in my life. If she won't sleep with you before marriage that's fine if you're into that too. But as far a women you've already slept with leave her, shes either cheating or she wants to period.
Jessica... this is some of the best, most mature and most practical advice I have heard on RUclips. Great job, Ma'am! Keep it up! 😀
Thank you! Will do!
So long as she's not expecting me to play a boyfriend role! Nowadays women will use the guy they find less attractive while giving it all to the one they are attracted too! If a woman so says is not willing to engage with you sexualy is because she doesn't find you attractive. Ask for a break up there is absolutely nothing immature about that
Hi Jessica i love your videos from KENYA ❤️❤️
reply first comment 😃
Me too
This was very mature as has been your content that I have seen. I like the way you balanced out the points. All to say if there is a connection acting rashly may hinder what is needed.
The worst thing that any man can do is to believe that any woman is too special. There are many women out there better than that woman you are with, If you are not getting love as you want just move on to another woman. She can't stay with you if she is not getting anything.
I hve been following and am still doing because the tips helps alot
I got cheated by ex wife, in a BIG WAY.
I am 55 being 18 years in the marriage, with two handsome children.
I would like to share an extremely important suggestion. You can consider it to be an add on, to beautiful Jessica's video.
As we ALL aware INFEDILITY number one problem, in breaking of the marriage.
Very important GUY FRIENDS, never take your friend home. ALWAYS guard your wife from the closest friend or closest relative.
This phenomena normally takes place within or around your family.
So beware guys, keep your guard up, at ALL times.
I just can't stop watching your contents. From Bujumbura.
Jess how on earth could I ever repay you 🥂 I’ve never been so composed ❣️ please don’t stop
Just share my videos with anyone who needs to hear them too. It's the best you can do for me right now ❤
Hmmm Jessica de3,I just want to see her with my eyes…I still think she is some celestial being…hmmm…she rocks too much it’s makes me teary…nipa but koraa na ne ho twa sei??? 😩
Thanks for this, have learnt a lot from your videos.... Love from Zambia 🇿🇲🇿🇲🇿🇲🇿🇲
Hi Jessica I love your videos they are very helpful ☺️lots of love from South Africa❤️❤️❤️
Glad you love them! i appreciate the feedback
Looks like there's plenty of us here... Hala from Pretoria, South Africa 💖💓
@@sizakelecomfortmtshweni9530 Hala from cape town 😂
From Pretoria 😍
KZN😄. .Alpha Male Strategies
Thank for these messages l have listened from you.
May God bless you 🙏
Ive done the exact opposite and had a wonderful relationship, dont ask a fish how to catch em
**Nice one Jessica** when i was growing as a teenager, my granmum use to warn me that "SEX does not satisfy"! she said that,when she notice that young girls are always coming around in search of me for school assignment, for text book.... I learnt that lesson! Some Ladies are always willing to give you **MORE**that you can ever ask or **Recieve** But, you need to be patient enough because**you cannot always get what you see** Regards --wordpresguy from rome--
Love is sharing, and sharing is supposed to be reciprocal. Ever think if a man approached a girl and there is nothing like sharing at all, how would it be? To me it's selfishness, if men are also selfish, how would it be...
A man loves u genuinely, cares for you, and wants to share the love with him by making love and you find reasons to decline,but u would take everything he gives you without saying that it should wait? My dear it's selfishness, love has to be expressed, and one significant ways of expressing love is by love making
The topic is very useful.I'm more wise.Thank you Jessie
Hey Jess, thanks for this. It was really helpful. I'm looking forward to a video describing a situation if the table was turned: "What to do when you don't want to give her sex and she's upset." That kinda thing.
It's very rare to hear men not wanting to give a woman sex though.
Im also interested to know if things turn around.
What women would do about it?
Greats from Dublin.
@@joseazeite i would stay with you forever!!!!
I'm interested to know too seriously 😀
Lol... Listen..
I enjoy your videos. When it comes to duties in a relationship as it relates to a man a sexual appetite is important. Not understanding this can be frustrating. No who you are and what you can afford and what you can’t afford to have in your life.
"bone of serious contention"....Jessica gives good advice and is also funny
OK. So what I hear you saying is when a woman pulls away from you sexually, you should not in turn pull away from her, or withold the emotional support that you were giving her. Bcuz that may send a message to her that sex was all you wanted or that it was conditional. The emotional connection which includes trust is something she needs to feel safe in the relationship in order to give herself fully to you physically. Do I understand that correctly? If So, & we agree that our actions send messages whether intended or not. What message is she sending if she pulls back physically even tho the emotional aspect of the relationship has been consistent on his end? Doesn't that put us in a type of chicken or the egg situation? Is it not a fact that sex as far as she is concerned is conditioned on the emotional aspect? It's widely accepted that women only love their children & their pets unconditionally. Why would having unspoken preset conditions be a considered a negative thing then on the man's part?
Nice topics ma'am. I love you
You saying things here that happens on daily basis on relationships that's good anchor
You're so loaded with Wisdom Jessica, all enlisted, I was guilty of sometimes. Thanks so much for sharing .
Hello Jessica, how are you, hope all is well? Anyway, I love your videos, and this one stands out to me as the first I know how it feels to be in love when you are in love, you would find out that is more than just sex, is about knowing and understanding the person giving that person the reason to make love, making that person feel safe and respected, you love that person you would be faithful and so it is important to communicate and talk about whatever problem together, not being selfish about it. This is my take on it.
I really do like yr videos Jess, i like most advices u give but this time naaa, my health is the most important thing to me and when things go wrong i should be able to express myself to be people who wld listen and understand Holding in to impress the lady that am strong or what is not what going to make me feel better, when things r not well with u and yr partner u open up. U seek for help people that understands
Secondly is just a matter of pirority, if a man gives everything to a woman then it means he cares he want her but when the woman keeps refusing he just have to stop and move on, trying to still do all those things to her in order to win her is just a waist of time and money cos most girls they have other men that keep coming to them and giving them things as well, so if she refuses you just cut it off and move on. And its not just about the sex is about her love as well. If she refuses to give in the logical thing is to cut all benefits and move on
Hello. What if she gets satisfied before me and she can't take it any more. I end up stopping before finishing. How should I deal with this?
Much love from Uganda 💯💪💪
Hello Jessica. Nice to have you. Would you mind if I share an idea on this video? Don't teach people to have sex before marriage. This would make their life complicated as it is sin before God. Your content on other relationship advice is good.
If she won’t give you the P. Please move on. She’s not going to give it to you. No time to waste time.
I love the angel Jessica is coming from. It's mostly about the kind of person she is, what values she upholds. Though most women don't give in into sex easily so as for you not to tag her as a loose woman. Therefore, we guys need to be patient with them most times unless it's transactional
What if your partner accused you of cheating and then stopped displaying intimacy? How does this apply then? I feel I made the mistake trying to prove that I wasn't cheating. "Are you dating anyone new yet" was one of the last things she asked while she was with a male best friend I had never met. (Just trying to get the female perspective)
It's called behavioral projection, she's cheating on you and accused you so she could be the victim. She's sleeping with her male best friend
@@c.conga11 I appreciate your words brother. I admit I may have handled her too gently and didn't set proper boundaries. I threw logic away and led with emotion (love), because I thought that was the missing link from my previous relationships. Being emotional available is not the same thing as blindly loving someone unconditionally. Valuable lesson.
@@thill1661 hmmm my brother
@@thill1661 stop trying so hard to convince her that you’re not cheating…. She needs that lil bit of doubt
You’ll be on her mind all day… emotion is ur best friend. Let her feel that
Boy if you don’t get outta there
I appreciate your perspective on this. But, what about after four years?
Who else clicked of the video the moment she asked us not to cheat when we're in a sexless relationship.
MY KINGS NO WOMAN IS WORTH YOUR SANITY DON'T EVER GIVE ONE WOMAN THAT KIND OF POWER OVER YOU and it's not cheating if she withholds sex first
This is why you never ask a lady for relationship advice..IT IS LIKE ASKING THE FISH HOW TO CATCH FISH
This women is very smart!
I haven't watched all your videos but there's something about this one that's so honest and I can tell you didn't have to research so much or read a script. It came straight from the heart and i appreciate that. Thanx for all the great pointers...keep working ur way up ur relationship doctor degree😉
😅😎😎
Hello Ms. Jessica
I usually don’t make a point to comment on any RUclips videos (yours or others) but this particular video I felt deemed a response. I think the advice you gave to the guys on this particular video was wild and unrealistic.
It’s not only frustrating but disrespectful that every time a man’s needs or desires are referenced by women they’re deemed as immature.
As men we are expected to provide provision, protect, and profess to the women were involved with no matter the case and if we don’t than we’re immature, insecure or some other shaming language to justify the manipulative tactics that women use on men.
Any man in any relationship who is not also having his needs met by his partner should leave. Simple. Not because he’s having a tantrum, but because relationships are about both parties needs being met. Not just one side. It doesn’t matter if the need is something small or large. If it’s something that is valued by that partner, and was understood by both parties that the need was expected to be met in the relationship than that person is not holding up their end of the bargain. Only men are expected to continue to meet all the needs of their women and get nothing in return.
No man values cuddling over physical intimacy, and we should not be asked to compromise our needs by our women. If men told women like “Hey my love, I found a new religious belief that doesn’t allow me to protect you unless we’re married so whilst we’re dating if any danger arises you’re on your own” no woman on planet earth would allow that. Women understand that the protection from their counter part is a non-negotiable thing and would never listen to any man trying to convince her otherwise.
I don’t want to harp with this comment it’s already entirely too long but fellas if you’re in a relationship with someone who is not willing to meet your needs with the same energy that you meet theirs LEAVE! Find yourself a partner who’s better aligned with your values and willing to meet your needs like you are to them.