The Most USELESS Magic Items in Your Inventory

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  • Опубликовано: 21 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 1,1 тыс.

  • @Wizards_with_Guns
    @Wizards_with_Guns  Год назад +1394

    What other useless items do you think Horno should have in stock?

    • @Average_Communist
      @Average_Communist Год назад +239

      Ring of invisibility but your only invisible when no one is looking.

    • @chrisj3938
      @chrisj3938 Год назад +120

      - a knife that glows in the dark and has a compass in the hilt
      - a sword that doesn't injure you, but instead gives its victims erectile dysfunction
      - a rock with a big spike on it

    • @zasarch8730
      @zasarch8730 Год назад +27

      A broken Minecraft watch nothing special about it is just broken watch

    • @NixNack
      @NixNack Год назад +77

      The severed hand of grogrofitch, welder of the frost region. touching it to any object makes that object uncomfortably cold.

    • @aidsdoh8286
      @aidsdoh8286 Год назад +22

      The whip of getting whipped.

  • @Crystal_Remorhaz
    @Crystal_Remorhaz Год назад +4568

    I like the detail that he only says "dirty gnome" after deliberately placing the pen down, implying that the pen had no effect on what he said after that point.

    • @asagoldsmith3328
      @asagoldsmith3328 11 месяцев назад +277

      Or the effect is permanent

    • @hak1111111
      @hak1111111 9 месяцев назад +392

      It's just a regular pen. He just uses it to declare his belief in hope that there will be no consequences

    • @Azrage
      @Azrage 9 месяцев назад +191

      He does sell a suspiciously high amount of gnome-skin products.

    • @Dead2you
      @Dead2you 8 месяцев назад +36

      he also found the bottle IN the genie lmfao.

    • @oprescue999
      @oprescue999 4 месяца назад +10

      he's just saying what we're all thinking

  • @ryxlwyx
    @ryxlwyx Год назад +5975

    For a second there when the sword was introduced I was worried there would be an actually useful product

    • @doozy5184
      @doozy5184 Год назад +566

      I mean, if the sword's properties work while it's a fork, you'd have a fork that could both be used as a weapon and a terrifying way to eat food.

    • @bugzilla318
      @bugzilla318 Год назад +274

      @@doozy5184Divine smite the vegetables.

    • @MrRedpanda2442
      @MrRedpanda2442 Год назад +86

      So you are saying the Obamanomicon is not useful?!?

    • @PresidentMystry
      @PresidentMystry Год назад +13

      @@bugzilla318or your tongue…

    • @wrathofainz
      @wrathofainz Год назад +16

      It _was_ useful...

  • @jmaz333
    @jmaz333 Год назад +2764

    You actually put down the potion of delayed sneezing at the start of the video, the level of detail is immaculate.

    • @ananass8030
      @ananass8030 11 месяцев назад +69

      Just checked, it's true😅

  • @yesitsreallyOtter
    @yesitsreallyOtter Год назад +3147

    The Clock'o'lantern honestly is something I would enjoy having. Like, it wouldn't be USEFUL, but I'd still enjoy it

    • @KoolWithAQ
      @KoolWithAQ Год назад +256

      I'd love a "You're late for work" at 3 AM

    • @CrizzyEyes
      @CrizzyEyes Год назад +55

      It reminds me of the Sheikah Stones from Zelda. Except even more useless

    • @unOrigiNik
      @unOrigiNik Год назад +74

      I think just once it should have said the exact time stamp the video was at

    • @BeguillingMirage
      @BeguillingMirage Год назад +14

      Joy bringing is certainly a use 😁

    • @xaius4348
      @xaius4348 Год назад +13

      When I checked the web earlier I think I saw a gnome or dwarf running off with it

  • @ThePyrosirys
    @ThePyrosirys 8 месяцев назад +200

    I really hope horno's is a permanent installment on this channel. I gotta see this guy at least once a year.

  • @andrewcabrera505
    @andrewcabrera505 Год назад +717

    The scabbard had me feeling genuine pain

    • @LoyaltotheNightsky
      @LoyaltotheNightsky Год назад +22

      I was very hurt

    • @velfaern1716
      @velfaern1716 8 месяцев назад +30

      I definitely took some kind of damage I’m just unsure what kind still or where

  • @theaveragebluejay
    @theaveragebluejay Год назад +720

    The immediate checking for the boomerang of suspenseful return and the second check shortly after absolutely sent me.

  • @CarmeloPiccione
    @CarmeloPiccione Год назад +1271

    Love the on-going gag of Horno accidentally (or stupidly on purpose) trying out the magic items, especially the ones that foreshadow tragic but comedic outcomes.

    • @razortongue9000
      @razortongue9000 Год назад +35

      The amnesia potion and the delayed sneeze was great 😆

  • @Protanly
    @Protanly Год назад +1881

    That clearly wasn’t the Boomerang of Suspenseful Return. It was clearly the Boomerang of Deceit which tricks you into thinking it’s the Boomerang of Suspenseful Return. The Boomerang of Suspenseful Return will clearly return in the next episode when we least expect it.

    • @PajamaPantsStudios
      @PajamaPantsStudios Год назад +125

      It was suspenseful, but not surprising. The boomerang of surprising return would show up next video

    • @bobvella7228
      @bobvella7228 Год назад +31

      but you expected it, it should return in the first episode, which i do not remember very well.

    • @Tomattoism
      @Tomattoism Год назад +3

      Clearly

    • @Protanly
      @Protanly Год назад +14

      @@Tomattoism Sorry my guy. I was 4 potions of clearsight deep when I wrote that.

    • @Tomattoism
      @Tomattoism Год назад +2

      @@Protanly thanks for the clarification

  • @X-SPONGED
    @X-SPONGED Год назад +709

    Great Shield of Piercing
    -pierces through your enemies
    -pierces through your enemies' equipment
    -pierces through your own hand
    -pierces through anything when given the slightest amount of force (it's falling to the center of the earth as we speak)
    Retail Value: 20 assorted korh'lor fruits
    WSN Value: One Rupee

    • @xiimooniixmoon2988
      @xiimooniixmoon2988 Год назад +2

      🤣

    • @idontwantahandlethough
      @idontwantahandlethough 9 месяцев назад +5

      isn't that basically just a lightsaber?

    • @ch-ev5ee
      @ch-ev5ee 9 месяцев назад +29

      ​@@idontwantahandlethough no it's a shield!? Cant you read?!

    • @vardamir0397
      @vardamir0397 Месяц назад +2

      not available for delivery, pick up only...

  • @Zman14888
    @Zman14888 Год назад +349

    The Boomerang of Suspensful Return is such a brilliant idea that I absolutely have to steal it for my campaign.

    • @nugget3687
      @nugget3687 9 месяцев назад +27

      Wait until they forget about it in a few sessions and have it come back during the worst possible moment in combat

    • @negative6442
      @negative6442 7 месяцев назад +13

      The boomerang returns 1d3 sessions later when you least expect it, automatically crits the person who threw it

    • @adamb5811
      @adamb5811 7 месяцев назад +5

      I plan on having it break through a window and knock down a lot of glass furniture during a stealth mission xD

    • @sketchycat6223
      @sketchycat6223 5 месяцев назад +5

      @@negative6442I don’t know if it’s funnier for the boomerang to hit the player who threw it, or for it to hit a completely different party member lol

    • @negative6442
      @negative6442 5 месяцев назад +1

      @@sketchycat6223 Gotta roll a 1dX to see who it hits lol

  • @zerodark3505
    @zerodark3505 Год назад +239

    Notice how he rubs the potion of delayed sneezing on his hands at 0:05

  • @MidlifeCrisisJoe
    @MidlifeCrisisJoe Год назад +430

    This is the best sketch series for anyone who’s ever had a regular tabletop group and wondered what happens to all the random magic items you’ve picked up over the years and sold off to fund your barony or whatever. I have to imagine that’s how Horno generally comes by his stock. Well that, or dead adventurer estate sales.

  • @yao99
    @yao99 Год назад +489

    This might be my new favorite series of sketches

    • @digitalzomb
      @digitalzomb Год назад +5

      It's truly an endless series of creative hilarity

    • @THEFRISKIESTDINGO
      @THEFRISKIESTDINGO 9 месяцев назад +1

      Indeed I hope they keep these coming they’ve got such great joke density

  • @yureiotakughost9464
    @yureiotakughost9464 Год назад +94

    the fact he continues with the gnome racism right AFTER putting the feather down lmao

  • @lint3506
    @lint3506 Год назад +92

    I love the completely unnecessary detail of him just putting down the potion of delayed sneezing as the video starts

  • @biasedactions
    @biasedactions Год назад +632

    I'm loving the return of some of my absolute favorite sketches from the Wizards! Thank you for returning to some classic characters while still keeping that Wizards charm.

    • @joaquinillo_
      @joaquinillo_ Год назад +1

      wait there's more of these?

    • @bungusbongus
      @bungusbongus Год назад

      ​@@joaquinillo_yea there's a playlist linked at the end of the video

  • @thatrandomweeb7804
    @thatrandomweeb7804 Год назад +197

    The scabbard of fine dining would actually make a great defensive tool. Assuming you have the agility and dexterity to utilize it properly.

    • @stephenbachman132
      @stephenbachman132 Год назад +20

      Stop right there criminal scum.
      "What..... A fork?..... What have you done in the name of Skyrim"... What do you mean that makes no sense, whats in the name of Earth sounds ridiculous."

    • @burgerkingas7027
      @burgerkingas7027 6 месяцев назад +1

      Reverse pickpocket BiS

  • @dementodoc
    @dementodoc Год назад +172

    IMMEDIATE grin on my face when I saw the thumbnail, this is like my favorite series you guys have made. I've made "The New Orc Times" an actual company in my 5E world because you all, and the magic items are always fun to implement if I feel like bullying my party. The boomerang of suspenseful return will definitely be making its way into my campaign soon.

  • @erikm8373
    @erikm8373 Год назад +49

    I threw one of those suspensful boomerangs once. Still living in fear.

    • @christopherharsch4352
      @christopherharsch4352 2 месяца назад +3

      You just have to stop loving in fear mate. Granted, that's when it'll get you, but hey, once it gets you, it can't get you anymore

  • @ICircuit64
    @ICircuit64 Год назад +129

    Yes! I thought Horno wouldn't return but my assumption had no foundation after all. As a fantasy enjoyer, i absolutely adore this series. Thank you, Wizards, for your brilliant comedy!

  • @kheranzu2000
    @kheranzu2000 Год назад +81

    I am filled with childlike whimsy at the notion of this becoming a long-running series.
    And by the way I love that there's some actual mythology in here with the potion of amnesia being from the river Lethe.

    • @lerikhkl
      @lerikhkl Год назад +6

      I also love that the delayed sneezing potion contains gesuntite ore

  • @atticusdodd6814
    @atticusdodd6814 Год назад +65

    He definitely sells snake oil to make any of your pets 10% longer.

  • @nechologan1065
    @nechologan1065 Год назад +16

    need the 24/7 live stream of this

  • @branzinofish3641
    @branzinofish3641 Год назад +18

    Boomerang of suspenseful return was a master wizard level bit

  • @PlayerN101
    @PlayerN101 Год назад +15

    The Boomerang of Suspenseful Return. What a classic.
    Don't throw it.

  • @jackskudlarek3138
    @jackskudlarek3138 Год назад +47

    I hope you guys never stop making these videos. There's just SO MANY good dnd ideas in here. If I ever get a group together I'm 100% making this salesman a character. The players will have enough for a singular low end actual magic item, or they can stop by the park for the crazy wizard and his cart.

    • @thepolarphantasm2319
      @thepolarphantasm2319 Год назад

      I have had the idea for a while to use an AI of Dennis Prager's voice as "Denny Prager, Conservative DM"
      It should have Morrowind amounts of racism in it but actual real world racism used in even dumber ways than any elder scrolls game could hope to*! And lots of weird diatribes about non-racist things as well, but yeah
      Idk why Prager feels like the guy for this role in my head but he gives me worst case scenario Zordon from power rangers vibes and I gotta use em lol
      (* - This is not a challenge or a dare or anything, Todd... if you're reading this, please don't feel a need to display the true power of Bethesda Game Studios)

  • @classica1fungus
    @classica1fungus Год назад +13

    This is fucking BRILLIANT, probably my fav series by you guys
    Edit: the potion of amnesia had me rolling

  • @shawnferguson5681
    @shawnferguson5681 Год назад +15

    Of all the esoteric items featured, the one I find most mysterious was what appeared to be a grimoire or magical tome titled “Joey” that was tapped about 2:36. It must have some amnestic properties because I don’t remember any character like that in any show about companions ever. Good show!

  • @chrisj3938
    @chrisj3938 Год назад +26

    man you guys keep revisiting your greatest hits and i'm here for it

  • @LethalDose161
    @LethalDose161 Год назад +105

    Level 3 staff would honestly be interesting for non magic or low magic casters. ANY level 3 spells can be used while using the staff.

    • @xaius4348
      @xaius4348 Год назад +25

      If it can cast ANY level 3, its gotta be able to cast at least one or two level 4 spells, right?

    • @crispymax
      @crispymax Год назад

      @@xaius4348no.

    • @baron_bokchoy167
      @baron_bokchoy167 Год назад +5

      *fireball intensifies*

    • @erueka6
      @erueka6 Год назад +5

      So could you cheat and use level it to get level two magic as a scrub or non caster interesting.

    • @dynad00d15
      @dynad00d15 8 месяцев назад +4

      Wait.. Fireball is a level 3 spell, isnt it?

  • @ouch-uq9pw
    @ouch-uq9pw Год назад +51

    Though the sword has been turned into a spork
    It is still the same material therefore the exorcising effects should still work, its just in a weird shape:)

    • @SolaceBreadAlwaysleepy
      @SolaceBreadAlwaysleepy Год назад +15

      Couldn't hurt to give it a try. It's just 0.89 after all. 😚

    • @leizero
      @leizero Год назад

      Maybe, but I doubt any swordsman would use it in battle.

    • @SolaceBreadAlwaysleepy
      @SolaceBreadAlwaysleepy Год назад +16

      @@leizero I'm not a swordsman, so I'll do it. It grants immunity to fear anyways. - What could go wrong?

    • @no1important777
      @no1important777 Год назад +6

      Eat the ghosts they’re 0 calories

  • @bens1cultist405
    @bens1cultist405 Год назад +16

    He continues to look more like a vampire

  • @StanSays
    @StanSays Год назад +9

    The sneeze bit was priceless!

  • @Biospark286
    @Biospark286 Год назад +7

    Bro. I could watch Horno's Hole 24/7

  • @common-peasant
    @common-peasant Год назад +9

    @3:10 this boomerang starting to give me anxiety with its suspense.

  • @thescatologistcopromancer3936
    @thescatologistcopromancer3936 8 месяцев назад +2

    I felt that peek coming after the first "moving on" and it still killed me. Perfect

  • @LSparkzwz
    @LSparkzwz Год назад +8

    Man I love the worldbuilding for these sketches, they're my favorite

  • @Kohl293
    @Kohl293 Год назад +3

    I was looking out for the boomerang the entire video, and it was still unexpected

  • @zerodark3505
    @zerodark3505 Год назад +15

    Horno’s Magic Item Hole brightens my day

  • @microaggressions
    @microaggressions Год назад +3

    This is literally the only thing that I would watch all day and all night long

  • @mindeyez314
    @mindeyez314 Год назад +3

    We need the most honarable wizards content

  • @loragex
    @loragex Год назад +8

    Horno's Hole sketches are my absolute favorite. I love seeing people talk nonchalantly about magic items and their insane level of danger.

  • @MrRasta3600
    @MrRasta3600 Год назад +3

    The boomerang gag had me in stitches.😂

  • @bestusernameever6518
    @bestusernameever6518 6 месяцев назад +3

    Rewatched this so many times and finally noticed he puts down the potion of delayed sneezing at the start

  • @Mockthenerd
    @Mockthenerd Год назад +4

    The quality of these are amazing.

  • @Brainatrain
    @Brainatrain Год назад +22

    i'll have this playing on a crystal ball in the tavern, thanks for the deals, guys!

  • @TheFoxStalksHisPrey
    @TheFoxStalksHisPrey Год назад +3

    This is my favorite returning skit by far.

  • @TreyC68
    @TreyC68 Год назад +50

    Disclaimer:Horno is not responsible for any injuries caused by cursed items

    • @HansLemurson
      @HansLemurson Год назад +3

      Or curses caused by injured items!

  • @merlinkater7756
    @merlinkater7756 Год назад +4

    The fork scabbard is legit very funny 😆

  • @borgyborg9399
    @borgyborg9399 Год назад +10

    that potion of delayed sneezing was so good 😭

  • @scarr009
    @scarr009 Год назад +3

    That outtake was too much 😂

  • @beerskiproductions3868
    @beerskiproductions3868 9 месяцев назад +6

    0:43 I have that exact pipe from Amazon, wasn't safe to smoke out of and now it's just a decoration

    • @Alstanbery
      @Alstanbery 2 месяца назад

      Aw man, what was wrong with it? Cuz it looks cool.

  • @jazeenharal6013
    @jazeenharal6013 Год назад +6

    These are my absolute favorite skits.
    Love you goofy bastards 😂

  • @chrimptos
    @chrimptos Год назад +2

    This was probably my favorite iteration of this series

  • @TheCraftedCreepers95
    @TheCraftedCreepers95 Год назад +4

    please never stop making these

  • @Naija_Ninja
    @Naija_Ninja 10 месяцев назад +2

    The subversion of expectations at the draught of amnesia segment was gold 10/10

  • @exzyyd392
    @exzyyd392 Год назад +5

    You bring up Skeent one more time and I'm gonna have to write up all the WwG lore

  • @danterodriguez03
    @danterodriguez03 Год назад +4

    Horno's magic item hole has to be one of my favorite series

  • @NixNack
    @NixNack Год назад +10

    Holy magic buttholes I love this series

  • @skalty9868
    @skalty9868 4 месяца назад +2

    The “dirty gnome” line coming immediately after dropping the quill was such a good bit

  • @ShockedTaiLung
    @ShockedTaiLung Год назад +7

    This is so creative would love to incorporate something similar in a D&D campaign

  • @Officer_duh
    @Officer_duh Год назад +2

    That “hmm” in the credits was hilarious.

    • @BenjaminRegen
      @BenjaminRegen 10 месяцев назад

      He just has the perfect tone of distaste😂

  • @pixels_and_plants
    @pixels_and_plants Год назад +12

    Nothing can beat a WWG skit. 😎

  • @jakesorenson6152
    @jakesorenson6152 Год назад +2

    This guy is a better actor than 75% of netflix roles

  • @PrussianGuy0517
    @PrussianGuy0517 Год назад +3

    I need these trinkets and doodads

  • @cheapshotfishing9239
    @cheapshotfishing9239 Год назад +5

    Michael looks to be enjoying his special cocktail in this one

  • @bladekick6405
    @bladekick6405 Год назад +4

    Never dissapoints. Awesome real laughs. Thanks guys

  • @Jeefwee
    @Jeefwee Год назад +1

    It's criminal that there aren't any more of these.

  • @BasilBrainstrom
    @BasilBrainstrom Год назад +4

    This is the best character on the entire channel.

  • @smileyp4535
    @smileyp4535 Год назад +2

    "A bell that's never been rung" / "virgin bell" is an amazing fantasy sounding item, props to whoever came up with that 😂😂😂

  • @Scarfy101
    @Scarfy101 Год назад +9

    so glad he started for people who were just tuning in (i was unable to make it to the beginning of the broadcast this saturday at 9:00AM EST due to an unforgettable luncheon)
    also i love these products and how they make fun of actual rpg pro/con magic items, the boomerang of suspenseful return was bloody hilarious
    oh my god i love how the pumpkin only started working once he touched it, not only that but how every single joke stacks upon itself to multiply the boomerang. you guys are still some of the best comedic writers i've ever seen on youtube, i hope one day you can get your own show or something, this is fantastic.

  • @DerpyNate
    @DerpyNate Год назад +2

    I am so fucking happy they made another one of these.

  • @SolaceBreadAlwaysleepy
    @SolaceBreadAlwaysleepy Год назад +8

    Horno's Hole always gets a few laughs out of me. 😂

  • @HaveYouHeardOfManedWolves
    @HaveYouHeardOfManedWolves Год назад +1

    I can't believe the boomerang of suspenseful return returned how and when I most expected it

  • @michyoung77
    @michyoung77 Год назад +5

    I was REALLY hoping for another installment of this series.

  • @William_Billiam
    @William_Billiam 5 месяцев назад +1

    Love the detail where you can see the seller putting the cork back on the potion of delayed sneezing at the very start of the video

  • @AAAAAA-613
    @AAAAAA-613 Год назад +3

    I think this is tied with G is For Jesus for my favorite ongoing series you guys make!

  • @saffronia2992
    @saffronia2992 Год назад +2

    The quill part was clever!😂

  • @onetrickgirl
    @onetrickgirl Год назад +52

    Whenever I go to my grandparents house, they are always watching this. I just hope they don't buy anything from it. These all look like scam magic items

  • @reidparker-hicks349
    @reidparker-hicks349 Год назад +3

    I want more of these but specifically with the time jack-o-lantern

  • @LadonMach
    @LadonMach Год назад +3

    I can honestly say I don’t foresee this but getting old anytime soon. Even without the gags, just listening to a salesman talk about the greatest woodwizard of his age.

  • @antoniojosemartinezsalas6463
    @antoniojosemartinezsalas6463 8 месяцев назад +2

    Cinema at its finest

  • @knightofiron
    @knightofiron Год назад +6

    Wait, it's illegal in the territories of Skeent, that's one of the places they were talking about on the Blo Gogurt show.

  • @JeremyBosick
    @JeremyBosick Год назад +2

    Need more of these skits in my life

  • @Swagenstein
    @Swagenstein 3 месяца назад +3

    I love how the potion of delayed sneezing is infused with “gesuntite ore”

  • @franchised1
    @franchised1 9 месяцев назад +2

    I will be taking all these and adding them into my campaign, thank you for selling them to my players, im sure they will adore especially the scabbard.

  • @cyborgbob1017
    @cyborgbob1017 Год назад +10

    I knew that boomerang was setup from the beginning yet it returned at the perfect time and it was still a complete surprise! Well done guys!

  • @richardpupo1676
    @richardpupo1676 Год назад +2

    the scabbard was too funny!

  • @soundrogue4472
    @soundrogue4472 10 месяцев назад +9

    4:09 that item would be useful for turning damaged/ useless blades into fine dining items so a rusty sword? Boom! Fine dining!

  • @evanisnor8697
    @evanisnor8697 Год назад +2

    A+ comedy sketch. That boomerang gag was ace 😆🪃

  • @VitroVine
    @VitroVine Год назад +5

    Nice detail that he lets go of the pen before saying "a dirty gnome". Makes sense why so many of his items are made from gnomeskin

  • @bookems07
    @bookems07 4 месяца назад +2

    I like how he just casually pulls up a Numenorian helmet

  • @TWPO
    @TWPO Год назад +4

    I don't know why but every time I purchase a bottle of amnesia it's always empty.

  • @dombaron-x2v
    @dombaron-x2v Год назад +2

    Hornos Hole by far the best skit series in RUclips history

  • @ezekielkoontz5267
    @ezekielkoontz5267 Год назад +3

    I'm definitely going to try and introduce the Boomerang of Suspenseful Return in my games.

  • @aruspex243
    @aruspex243 11 месяцев назад +2

    THE BOOMERANG OF SUSPENSEFUL RETURN brilliant lmao

  • @dumbLIKEaMOOSEz
    @dumbLIKEaMOOSEz Год назад +14

    Dude, I like most of your videos, but this series is by far my favorite. Such a great and original idea; keep them coming!

  • @uncomfortablyoversizedbrea6347
    @uncomfortablyoversizedbrea6347 8 месяцев назад +2

    I'm impressed with the fact that you didn't directly tell the audience that he spilled the sneezing potion and drank the amnesia potion