The Simple Reason Why Narcissists Have To Hurt You
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- Опубликовано: 19 окт 2024
- Narcissists love sucking the emotions of others. One person is not enough to satisfy all their needs and entertainment them. They need a constant and new supply.
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Being sensitive, empathetic and caring is _blood in the water_ to a narcissistic shark
codependancy* is. Discernment is important!
Codependants, by definition, love seeing themselves as indispensable to people's life.
They subconsciously agree to feeding narcissists as it makes them feel safe and secure in the relationship; it is familiar to them.
It is their coping mechanism to expect abuse and neglect after growing up in a abusive and neglectful environment.
So, Instead of feeding off purely bad energy like narcissists does, they feed off the energy of seeing themselves as indispensable.
This means that, technically, they feed off of bad energy too but in an indirect way instead of being upfront about it.
The best thing about narcissists is that they are upfront about the fact they are energy vampires!
Codependants are sneaky about it as they recognize themselves as pure victims; they compare themselves to their narc counterpart and think "I'm not evil like they are, this means they are the problem, not me!" This fallacy keeps people stuck a perpetual loop of abuse.
Once you really understand this subtle power dynamic, you see that deep down, there's no difference between a codependant and a narcissist. Tough pill to swallow for everyone involved in this toxic pattern.
Codependancy is the energy that attracts narcissists like blood attracts sharks.
Empathy itself doesn't attract narcissistic abuse if the empath is autonomous in its source of energy (we metaphorically call that being connected to Christ energy, or Source - this mean you get your energy from your own heart instead of others).
So, a codependant empath *will* attract a narcissistic relationship.
A Christic/healed/reborn empath will in turn effortlessly help heal narcissists (and they get fairly compensated for it if they're smart); they communicate in a way that narcissists will naturally agree to 'finding Christ' themselves.
Once you 'find Christ' in the real sense of the term, you rise above abusive relationships altogether.
That's all narcissists are waiting for; compassion, understanding and guidance towards understanding what they already know deep down.
Again, these are only metaphors so it applies whether you're an atheist or theist. Hope that helped!
@@sunongral5605Thank you for this comment! As a codependent person, I can feel what you wrote is true. It is very important to be aware of this and work on improving.
This what I am and I am eaten every day by sharks🦈 My life is an nightmare and I want to die. I’m never truly loved.
@@sunongral5605 when you are abused as a kid co-dependency is foisted upon you at an age where you have no discernment about the condition. And you grow up with that inured into your subconscious and your conscious has no idea that you are like that.
The part about sneaky is ill-informed and sounds like it is written from a dry, clininical theory and not the lived experience.
I grew up with no love whatsoever. I was bashed everyday for 11 years. Now l say every day. In reality there were maybe 20 days a year l wasn't. I went to bed as a primary and high school kid wanting to die. That's right, wanting to die every fucking night. I was sexually abused at 11/12. My brother died because of the abuse getting cancer from over eating because we never had enough to eat
My brother's and me that weren't fathered by the abuser have all grown up fucked in the head and you come along with the shit you've written.
Quietly and nicely, fuck off with your bullshit.
And l went to a Pentecosstal Church for 33 years and even there I was made fun of the because of abuse l suffered so l know of what you say. My former wife understood my difficulties but like me was clueless as to what happened.
Your help has been fucking stupid and not appreciated. Take your academia and stick it where the sun don't shine.
@@comentadoraification this was not your fault. You were abused as a kid and your subconscious took it on. You were unaware then and as an adult it only gets revealed to you thru a crisis.
People writing guilt inducing stuff exacerbate the issue with their blunt and uncaring appraisals. Saying co-dependents are sneaky implies they know what's happened to them when in actual fact they / we have no idea that it happened to us.
It's pathetic how much they need to play with others emotions. 🙄
Unending,forever because they are evil!!!!
Yeah, I don't get it. Just to be used, so sad.
Exactly! I even think it's an insult to compare cats to them. Narcissists are way worse!
I just got a relationship she broke my heart and maybe a part of brain and ribs I feel like I am the only person talking and walking living in a empty world full of grass and trees and sky and noises of nobody else. Truly. I feel unreal unheard soft tissue and like I just woke up from a coma
"Energy vampires".
Well said
@HalleluYAH 7 in short words what?
Yes. 100.
Narcs are like "serial somethings". They do it over and over again, lovebomb, get obsessed with you, get a bit sobered, triangulate you, devalue you, elevate others above you, discard you. After a while they get tired of being alone, and do it again. Like serial killers, they are tring to heal an everbleeding wound inside.
They are social rapists. They don't take no for an answer and continue to violate. Parasites.
Respect 🙏🏽
I cut that evil off. Completely, effectively, and FOREVER. Most narcissistic people aren't very bright.
The higher power is teaching us a lesson we are disobedient. iGod’s law. stated evenly yoked, we would have never ever meet this ghost you know when you’re not evenly yoke but you stay anyway smh Jesus said put no one before him so we pay the price …..
yes
They are very needy; too needy.
Straight Facts.. OMG🤦
Waaay too needy
YEP
you have that right, if mine would lay down and take a nap, he would tell me to lay down with him, which I didn’t like to nap and I wanted to get my things done so I thought he would be asleep get up out of the bed, walk to the kitchen turn around and he would be right there, staring at me telling me that I’ve abandoned him🙄 just like a child
Sad thing was, he was a big boss at a gas company, and was in charge of several dozen people and projects
@@AlwaysHope2019 😅 wasn’t sure if you were talking about your narc or your cat there for a while.
Absolutely 💯 TRUE! I Walked away from all their TOXIC Behaviors!! Narcissistic are very Dangerous to be around them.
Very and the greatest actors on earth. Ted Bundy, a Serial Killer, who killed 100 plus women, had over 200 wedding proposals sent to him when he was in prison on death row. These Evil Narcs/Sociopaths are calculating, charming, stealth, charismatic and they seduce people with it. They will Reap What They Sow, but Beware!
I think i am the naracissit yes cause i walk away from my kid in order to better her life. Her father mistreated us and leave and come back and when i told him he is the wrong one he back lash on me. I just give up how did i end up in this shit
Well, it makes sense why I'd always leave drained like wow
Praying for all victims ❤
Truth. That's why the best thing to do is treat them like complete strangers i.e: no contact. Don't even acknowledge them. Once you do this your life goes back to normal. Go figure.
I hope so. When I leave to go to store, etc.
I feel like he's somewhere watching me. That's what a 4 month relationship with a demon did to me.
I feel so peaceful now I’ve finally stopped that constant cycle of narcissistic abuse.
Satan is the root of narcissism.
Dr Scott peck People of the Lie was seminal in this discovery, 1986.
Yesss, exactly that is why there are so many narcissitic men ( and women) but mostly men in my country canada due to the uprising in satanism, ppl who believe in God and are good ppl are grtting persecuted in canada its scary reminds me of crazy north korea with its accepting of the unacceptable and enforcement of the homosexual/trans movement a its like no freedom here and our liberal government is atheist. Its just become an unbearable place to live!
Opposing is not bad. Justice toward a injustice situation is opposeing the injustice.
And Andrew Tate. 😑
Yes he is the first
If they upset you which is their intentions...now they behave happy in a sick twisted arrogant way. They accomplished their rotten goal. If you ignore them and focus on something else they will hate you for it. They love to hate...to them hating you means you owe them whatever they demand.
On point. It hurts when its family.
They are mentally deranged!
So true! And they will come back to try and destroy you for it! A crazy cycle.
Cats are loving, caring, and loyal than a demonic narcissist. No sir, I discard the narcissist over my happiness with my cats. My cats me. 😊
😂
Cats take over your house and allow you to serve them but they are not as stupid as killing you in the process... I'm kidding 😂
@@LyrielonwindYour not 😉
They are not though, how are cats loyal 😂
I agree. My rescued kitty saved my life many times and is extremely loving, genuinely loving. I think he is talking about how cats are known to kind of play with mice or whatever.
It's so crazy, if I never went through this. I would have never known any of this was real.
It's a good day when they cast you away.
❤
Can facilitate this using reverse psychology
Or you cast them away!
When they know you know, they will beat you to it and cast you away. But it's always a win-win.
It still hurts very badly.
Narc....relatives are the worst to deal with ..mine are so persistent in sucking emotions trying to see what they can get out of, time, money ,etc. I pray they cast me away.
And how to make them panic? Be emotionless and not afraid of the silence that follows your response. Answer with one-syllable words: "No" and a blank face and no emotion in the voice. "I won't do that". "I won't go there." The abscence of emotion in your voice and face will make them turn elsewhere to "be fed" so to speak.
THE METHOD YOU JUST DESCRIBED IS CALLED GREYROCK. THATS HOW YOU GREYROCK THEM!
That doesn't always work. Some are so entitled that they get enraged at being ignored or told no, and they'll start getting loud and creating a huge scene...trashing you to your friends and family...or start spewing hurtful, low-blow insults, especially if they have an audience. But I agree that stonewalling is generally a great tactic to get them to turn their attention elsewhere.
So you literally have to become a robot. Idk if thats the real deal. If they suck you empty of your emotions, then you anyway become emotionally drained. But there is something in yourself that is also depending on the narc. That must be found and healed, so narcs cant even come close to you. They rather will not like you and not even attempt to speak to you...but if they still do, your healed whole self will also keep it short. The narc will just say that you are arrogant, or project that you must think you are something special.
@@vAbAfilM one of them even told me: put your pride down. Their feeling entitled leave us speechless and I used it by stop responding. Parents do it sometimes too.
This just seems to make them really angry, and they might lash out physically. So be careful doing it.
This is SO true. When my mom finishes with me I'm not even sure if I'm human!
😢
Try to get away & stay away if you can
We become humand once we leave them and after recovery and healing.
No one gets out of hell without damage and looking good; you are a survivor and I hope we all get a chance to get out of survival mode and live ❤ at last.
It's exhausting
Absolutely exhausting
The mental and emotional drain is all too real 😢
This is so much on points mine used to pray with me and everything very unbalanced narsistis. And so selfish got so mad at his eyes was so dark it was like seeing the devil himself it really spooked me. But God is with me.
Be careful what you claim as yours...the narcissist was never yours, you don't want to claim that type of evil.
He wasn't yours. It was just your turn 👍🏻
My ex used to pray with me and for me at times. It always felt like it was fake. He is such a deceiver! Complete narcissist!
I knew by watching my soon-to-be ex-husband when he came home from work...he would sit in his chair and his head would bobble while he mentally rehearsed a fight...then I knew we were in for a rough evening. Every time.
It felt like a vampire was literally sucking the blood out of me!! I was totally drained and exhausted and I had to get out fast!!!
I know the feeling. 15 years later i finally 🙌 got away.
They are demonic
Are they really? Demonic?
Hey, don’t shame cats by comparing them to narcissists!!!
Yea that is rude to the cats
Cats definitely have narc tendencies. However they do not have free will like us humans. At least cats have a good excuse...they are programmed animals.
@@kyvministries honestly u just think they being cats cuz they ain’t psychoanalytic and that manipulative
That take too much time and effort
And they’d probably just rather steal yo food
❤😂 Cats don't deserve that comparison. Cats bring restfulness while narcissists drain your emotions.
😂😂
I can’t get those 15 years back but I can move forward. Wow.
I can tell this guy actually understands narcissism well as opposed to some of the other people with narcissism content…. (I’m a clinical social worker, and I’ve met and known manga, many, many narcissists). This was the most helpful explanation of it, to me.
I think I just got discarded by one based off this description. I knew he wasn’t right for me and was really sad about how it all went down. But THANK GOD, I’m out of a bad situation and can now move forward.
Cats heal us and do not suck our energy as narcissist do.
That's Right
Cats are capable of love.
Cats are capable of compassion.
Cats can bring joy and true companionship to your life.
A narcissist can't do or chose not to do any of the above.
I have heard the very same thing you are talking about described as (when the supply from you gets stale- they look for a shiny new source as their supply. I think they are unable to be in love. There is no emotion with them; they just seem shut off.
It hurts a lot. Just being around them kills me.
This is so sad for them, they have a curse 😢 please God save them
The thief’s(Narcissist's)purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My (God's)purpose is to give them (you & i)a rich and satisfying life. John 10:10
Absolutely draining!
That’s why as soon as you find out who they really are…..expose them (only if it’s safe to do so), show them no fear, plan an exit strategy, leave them as soon as you’re able to and have no mercy on them whatsoever. 👍✊
Demons feed on negative energy
My body knows before I do when I meet narcs. My body recognizes the energy. But also because I grew up with my mother's second husband from the age of 9. He was a covert narc. So when I met this, my body jumps into action and starts people please automatically like a programming. End up like in fawn. But not with everyone. This time I was able to see how something jumped out of my own body and immediately began to adapt to this. Interesting to see how programmed I had been.
Also opened my eyes when I myself saw the programming to completely stop people pleasing and co-dependency. But they have been sitting so hard. To actually say no and stop. He burned me out completely. But out of this I could rise from the ashes like the phoenix and change. But this job is no play. It hurts. But worth it in the long run. Then being able to totally be myself. Didn't know who I was. But getting to know myself since two years ago.
Wow, I am trying to make sense of everything I just experienced.
SAME... mine lasted 4 months. I'm trying to process, how wonderful the first 3 months was then how he changed. It's really mind boggling! I went no contact.
absolutely 💯 all facts.
my wife sleeps around while draining all my energy and most of all finances. lied about everything from day one. now over 15 years later and no answer for her cheating, stealing and lying 😒 she has finally moved on officially with her side dude. the cars I purchased for her she drives to meet and cheat on me with 🤦♂️.
Let that demon leave.. You should be very grateful and thank God @ the same time... She is no longer you're problem..
if you meet and get involved with another narcissist - it means you also have a problem. So take care of you
I hope you've divirced this vampiress.
Tell-it-like-it-is exactly that's exactly how they do that's why they get married and they cheat the next night and they always have someone hidden and waiting because it's fun to both parties, when they are cheating on people and hurting people cuz people get off on that so that's like a narcissist mixed with sadistic Behavior exactly this is what the doctor is talking about. So good info. Thank you so much stay blessed and stay safe folks!
I abuse the Narcissist! I told him he's a punk yesterday!
You’re a prime supply piece to him! Good luck with that. If you’re going to be free of him and your worse side of yourself you may want to try silence.
@@LEM19284 I don't recall asking. He mowed and edged my lawn last week (in cross-hatch), and I have a huge yard. I like the worst part of myself. Keeps me safe! He has to behave because of his job, (and my big mouth).
I call my narc a bitch because he is one he doesn’t care if I get hurt or if another man touches me inappropriately he blames me and calls me a whore instead of standing up to the guy
@@LEM19284 I’ll try to be silence just to not get him put out 😐he so worried about him being homeless yet he doesn’t give two fucks about me being homeless cuz he knows his family got his back and they know k don’t have anybody so they use and abuse me any way they want to
Reactive abuse. Which is really just? Self defense.
And they will except intake negative emotional reactions as much as they will positive emotional reactions that are in direct regard to them. The reason being is that they feel this sense of power and control over you which is the prime aim and desire and the fact that they can trigger you and cause you to react with negative emotions they are filled with fuel or if you react toward them in positive ways and with positive emotions then they feel fuel because of the grandiose gesture. So yes it is emotions that are driving the narcissist to keep you as supply and also others on the back burner
I have had cats that were very loyal.
THEY WANT YOU TO HURT WITH THEM, THEY FEEL COMFORTABLE HURTING THOSE WHO LOVE THEM.
Reminds me of that 50s Sci-fi film: "Invasion of the Body Snatchers (that someone recently remade). Suck the life right out of the host's body so THEY can fill it with THEIR content (what they emit) 🤢😨
OMG! Best comment ever! 👌
We’ll described once and for all. I believe we’re all amazed about this. Wow this is supernatural 😂
Good perspective and explanation
So true about all this. I am high, functioning, disabled, and adult, and my sister has thrown me out of her life because she's a co. Worked psychopath narcissist, so is my family. My relatives everybody except for me. They hate me because I have the light and they're all dark and made it. Cause god's protecting me and nobody's protecting them. I also feel sad because I've gone through so much counseling, and I've gone through trying to accept what it is, but it's very difficult to know. Your family isn't going away, and they'll help the other children but won't for their way to help you, you're nothing to him you've been ostracized and they're wanting to pick it up for holidays
A cat playing with a mouse❤ until the mouse is left lifeless weak and dies❤❤ makes a lot of sense thank you helps you understand the???
💯%
Great explanation. So true now i see it. Chew ya up spit ya out.
The beautiful thing about knowing a narcissist when you walk away. They're running on empty so they have to go another way to find a direction of truth to get make them survive and limp. I understand that all❤😊
Yep I even told him, you just wearing me out talking to you on the phone. I felt like I had done a days work just from talking to him 5 min. 😂
EASILY TELLING YOU THEY DON'T HAVE GOD IN THEIR SOULS.👍
Amen ❤
@@mariejoseph6148 oh, mine does the same thing goes to church for an hour to pretend like he’s Godly but he gives me the middle finger with a prayer sign next to it that’s really what he meant
Their souls have been taken over by dark demonic spirits (demons)..... So they actually don't have a soul while these dark entities are enslaving and occupying their bodies while they are in bondage to these entities! 😈
.
@@erikawithee oh yeah, I hear this loud and clear. Mine would actually cuss and scream for an hour prior to going to church then act like he was Godly and make sure people thought he was great. I couldn't take the hypocrisy of his actions and finally left. I now have a real peace to my life and am much happier. 😌
I was in a 4 month relationship with a demonic monster, after the lovebomb, he'd scream and look up & say strike me dead with a lighting bolt. And look at me and tell me how stupid I was to believe in God.I can't believe the hurt that man caused, in in my 50s, never experienced
I appreciate how you describe the Narc. Makes a lot of sense.
THANK YOU
Don’t insult cats!
That's Right!
Thank you Lord and Universe and Thank you Brother!
True i start to give and give.
I absolutely agree!!!!
Has anyone else noticed that most narcissists, especially overt type, hate cats?
Why?
I've spent lots of time thinking about why it is so and best I can guess is that cats seem to be able to see deeper into a soul than most animals and this unnerves narcs
I think it's because cats tend to be very independent and they usully just do what they want. They don't seem easy to manipulate
I've noticed every person I've met who hates cats turns out to be a narc.
now this is very interesting. YES. My wife HATES cats...HATES dogs even. She doesn't like animals. It's very unnatural and feels so joysucking.
Yes, Mr Kenny. You are so right. Thank you
Happy to help!
Yeahhhhh it's probably gonna be beneficial for you to retract the cat comparison. WAY off the mark dude. Thanks to ONE narcissist, I now have 5 cats and the emotional intelligence and compassion and pure love they bless me with is everything the parasite can only create in his delusional reality hell he's stuck in.
This man is speaking facts, this is exactly what my x does
Whenever I would give a compliment or say something uplifting… ignored. Whenever I would say anything remotely critical or teasing.. I became a HUGE issue. Even though they came about by subtle jabs. I realised that because my default setting was to uplift people, the positive things held less value. Also, a very boring person. Any personality displayed in the beginning had just my own mirrored back to me.
NO they are not like cats. You are right about the energy vampire issue with Narcs though.
Exactly.... And 35 years later .. That still hurts!
That's a really good analogy it's almost like a vampire since they don't have feelings they have to constantly suck other people's feelings up.
Creepy but true!
Yes, because they are constantly spreading there energy, and on and on. And Thank you for your thoughts. God bless you for sharig this is the truth.
Happy to help!
Yes yes yes....this is spot on!
Been studying this. It almost like they feel by proxy through other people. Because they can't feel they must do it through another person.
Yes that's how my mother is she got mad at me hung up the phone in my face call two days later to ask if she borrow a hat she gave me really lady🤨
Yeah, they abuse you and then act like everything's Normal and OK, the next day. No apology, no bringing it up - they're Crazy.
No longer care what they need… they can hunt all day and night.
Nothing like cats!! Cats are warm loyal but, still independent
Wow this is so accurate and true the cat analogy is like spot-on never thought about it that way wow!
Narcisist are more a mix of animals: 1) Snake bite you and poison, WEAK YOU, 2) Mermaid, sing while you are dying, telling everything is OK 3) VAMPIRE, sucking your blood, feeding 4) WOLF if you rebel a pack of wolves submit you
💯%👍🏽
Leave Wolves out of it. They are one of the most beautiful animals on earth.
Spot on!
❣️🌙
Truth ..
Like a demon does, they suck the energy out of you.
I threw him away, and now nobody wants him. Seems I was the best part of him and what made him appear desirable.
MISERY LOVES COMPANY!
Yeah they are exactly like cats, even more like big cats, they use others to boost their ego, if you disobey them, not submit, it like you are challenging them, they will never give up, they will either abuse you until you submit or kill you...
cats are the oposite of narcissism!!! They set clear boundaries if they do not want to be touched. They are loving and gentle. Narcs are like a parasite!
Indeed. Im trying so hard. Its sickning
"like a cat"😺 such a great analogy!
I just watched the movie and I definitely had a smile on my face the whole time this, might be small but I don't really get the point of and found the luma annoying, just needlessly bringing the mood down with every sentence they spoke 😭
This is Gold
Love the message and the purple
Well Said!
Yes this is exactly how I felt I felt deeply hurt and so attached to them all because they said I was an old soul and felt the urge to even fix them or even control them I was lieing to myself at that point of time and was chronically I’ll and hurt it gave me post traumatic stress and even issues just like that
It’s endless needs. I’m tired and I’m always getting blamed! I need help coping with this u til we are seperate. Which is happily September!!!!
I was raised by a severe tyrannical narcissist. pretty much raised my self till I was ten. I wasn't allowed around her once I had a a voice and a baby opinion. so all the issues in my head brought self loathing, depression and shame because I had no idea why I did all the bad things I did. I survived( somewhat) all those years. I know my children. we're affected because of me. Now my daughter has turned into my mother in a BIG way. She has always had these tendencies and wanted to control me from about 13. She was backed by my narcissist mother and pedophile stepfather. fast forward 30 years. She used me for her purposes for her business because I was better at it having had the same career for 40+ years.( which by the way she hated every part of). Now she thinks she the best after only 9 years at lies cheating and stealing ( which I will not participate in). I'm 70 and my health has insisted I give up helping as its very physical. so my usefulness to my daughter is done and I'm getting the full brunt of her meanness. yestarday she just took back my only means of transportation with no feeling of remorse.
So sorry to hear you going through so much! I pray you heal and remove yourself from all of this.
THANKS
You're welcome!
Wow makes perfect sense
Had a co worker that was always using people..totally evil full of drama.
Demonic possession is the main source of all narcissist!
My Narc pretended he was and is a counselor, he was ordained at 21.
He's 69.
18 yrs married ,I was not enough.
He went to Church to find supply,became leadership and was teacher and found many women there to help.
Puke!
Tried to destroy Pastor, who also is a Narcissist.
He ended up being told he couldn't counsel or teach,they parted ways.
I left 9 months ago,he's counseling many so he doesn't need me, after all I'm crazy
They really are. I was just thinking this the other day. My cats are actually triggered thoughts of the narcissists it my life. Cat’s want to own everything and never listen. I’m more dog, dogs have empathy. Dogs are not like cats. I don’t know why I keep thinking I can mix the two.
Which cat every told you they want to own everything? Like, where this happen at? Cats have empathy to.
Now the cats are being targeted!
@@designatedblack9696 oh dear. I’m not going to fight. You must not have two Sphinx cats. Have a nice day!!!
Cats are independent. cats sleep an avg if 22 hours a day. Get a QT spray bottle w 50/50 vinegar and water to spray dor climbing or other destructions or going after your food plate, getting on counters, bolting out the door. No os a food word to teach right away witha loud clap. Indoor/Outdoor the best as kittens run and play. Even into adulthood. if a counter jumper line edge and 6'' on top along edge with foil. No purchase for little paws. Buy catnip filled toys, fuzzy balls w little bells inside. a scratching post or piece of split wood w bark for their clawing. like people some are introverts and some extroverts. They are muxh different than dogs. I had a cat for 17 years who walked w me the tien and in country also we camped a few times.
Cats are incredibly smart an will listen only if they decide you're worthy of their trust and respect. They're unique animals and you need a special way to communicate with them. Dogs will do literally anything just for some attention and a snack while cats couldn't care less at that moment. Of course they are different. Why on earth would you expect 2 different species to act the same?
@@vivalachoba I don’t expect them to be the same. I love them both and I love you too. I hope your life is full of blessings.
Its odd to day but the emotional detachment really seems to do the trick, as compared to when i really was truly emotionally detached and abusing drugs to cope with it all while unaware of the circumstance i was in (im now sober minded - still, the emotional detachment helps to deal with them as compared to engaging in the belittling and love bombing).
They are literally one way emotional highways...Only twords them...never giving back.