What Happens When The Narcissist Knows You Know

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  • Опубликовано: 20 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 500

  • @vn9345
    @vn9345 8 месяцев назад +37

    This is the best advice I have had so far , that stop trying to figure them out and just work on your own healing

    • @dimples2290
      @dimples2290 2 месяца назад

      I agree 100% - Kenny is brilliant. I learn so much from him. Thank you

  • @keonagrace
    @keonagrace Год назад +165

    “Nobody can make me think, do, feel, or believe anything unless I let them. I’m responsible for that.” Pure gold🏆

    • @Danger_Bunnyyy
      @Danger_Bunnyyy Год назад +6

      Taking notes 📝

    • @XeLYoutube
      @XeLYoutube 10 месяцев назад +4

      thats whyn i dont let people with no health no time no wealth insult me for being a single men with health time and wealth
      i dont let them project their misery

    • @koshinwarsame8430
      @koshinwarsame8430 6 месяцев назад

      Good for you. What has that earned the rest of us. Rub it won’t you

  • @athenagriego4561
    @athenagriego4561 10 месяцев назад +50

    I'm going through the character assassination 😅😅😅😅😅😅 but because I watch these videos it doesn't hurt me anymore.

    • @jjule85azzuro4
      @jjule85azzuro4 7 месяцев назад +3

      Awesome!

    • @MoulikaMorou-t5u
      @MoulikaMorou-t5u 4 месяца назад +6

      Good for you…. Some of us had to discover the information after the smear campaign and wished we’d known.

    • @athenagriego4561
      @athenagriego4561 4 месяца назад

      @@MoulikaMorou-t5u I've been through worse. I was almost killed by my second ex. That's what gets me through the bad stuff. I'm great now. I just block people who are negative. Ignore and move on. Ignoring them kills them and I love it! I got my power back.

    • @athenagriego4561
      @athenagriego4561 4 месяца назад

      @@MoulikaMorou-t5u the abuse I've endured happened in 2008

    • @athenagriego4561
      @athenagriego4561 4 месяца назад

      @@MoulikaMorou-t5u I guess my response never went through. I was in 2 abusive relationships. One almost killed me and if I would've have stayed one of them would have definitely killed me. I'm stronger which is why this narcissist couldn't beat me. NOT beat me like as in hitting. He never put hands on me he was mentally abusive.

  • @oraclehaveacookie9737
    @oraclehaveacookie9737 Год назад +64

    Never sleep, marry or have kids with a narcissist woman or man. Period.

    • @jessicatobias9371
      @jessicatobias9371 8 месяцев назад +3

      Too late. He is three. Thankfully, he didn't want to marry me (his words )

    • @bz6837
      @bz6837 5 месяцев назад +2

      Now you tell me😫

    • @cyndigooch1162
      @cyndigooch1162 4 месяца назад +2

      It's a shame that babies aren't able to choose not to be born to them as well! 😥

  • @AQuietSole
    @AQuietSole Год назад +86

    All I wanted was for my mom to love me. She had 5 babies die before I was a twinkle in my parents eyes. I could never please her inspite of being a great child. I was 51 y/o when I finally stood up to my mom!! Best day of my life. Now we rarely speak. Her loss, not mine!

    • @lakebafondren5868
      @lakebafondren5868 Год назад +10

      All throughout my childhood my emotional needs were minimized. I learned through therapy to look out for my own needs first before that of others and to stop ignoring when my needs are being minimized or ignored. Once when I was having a discussion with my parent about something and said “ Hey remember when….”, they went off on me because all they could reference was the trauma that was going on with them at the time. They out of their own guilt they felt like I was indirectly pointing a finger at them. They started screaming “I don’t want to talk about it!” I had to remind them that I was there and had to live the trauma WITH them and it was a part of my history and I had a right to refer to it because it was something I lived through too. I explained to them that it was never my intent to blame them, but they needed to figure out what kind of relationship they wanted with me (deep or shallow) because I would abide by their decision. If I have to be guarded all the time in what I say around them, then we’d proceed with having a shallow relationship, but if they could stop feeling like every time I open my mouth I’m pointing the finger at them, then we could have a deep and significant relationship. Those were my boundaries. Thankfully, they chose the latter. I’m grateful the pleasant relationship we developed the last 10 years of their life. And it was all because I put my foot down and insisted on my boundaries not being violated.

    • @treshasstarr1513
      @treshasstarr1513 9 месяцев назад +3

      I stood up to my pedo father, I realize I wanted my “dad” but was not in that capacity to fulfill that for me, I let him go
      He’s now smearing me, but I know it’s not true so I do t care

    • @KM-oj4jk
      @KM-oj4jk 8 месяцев назад +1

      🙏

    • @socol76
      @socol76 8 месяцев назад +3

      I was 42 when I stood up to mine

    • @jessicatobias9371
      @jessicatobias9371 8 месяцев назад +2

      25 felt so good. My chest never felt lighter.

  • @dsharmanj11
    @dsharmanj11 Год назад +27

    This is the first time anyone has clearly expressed and explained my own experience. The most important thing he says is to recognize your childhood "trauma". If you don't, you'll repeat it in another relationship.

  • @tinyfacemcgee9211
    @tinyfacemcgee9211 Год назад +114

    I like it when you talk about us being in a child state and giving them all the power as if they are our parent. How crazy are we!

    • @more444store6
      @more444store6 Год назад +5

      I did that. My husband was in some ways like a father figure to me. He had all the control.

    • @hellcat1401
      @hellcat1401 Год назад +2

      Kind of like a step parent who is a narc.

  • @carvalone3076
    @carvalone3076 Год назад +107

    If you're trying to heal from narc abuse this is one of the most important videos you'll ever listen to. Thank you, Sir!!!! 🙏❤

    • @sp4rtavus244
      @sp4rtavus244 Год назад +4

      I agree

    • @XeLYoutube
      @XeLYoutube 10 месяцев назад +2

      having a happy healthy rich life is my favorite way to get my revenge
      since they are unhealthy unhappy and poor.

  • @e.r.4447
    @e.r.4447 Год назад +34

    Hey don’t blame yourself please. No shame, no guilt, trauma litteracy and psychology were not taught in high school. You still have this worthiness they wanted to steal from you. You are powerful, you have power and choice because you know better. Be proud that they failed to take your soul and the wholeness of you. 2,3,4 years from now you gonna look at you and be more proud of your strength and resilience. The universe loves you so much!

    • @leolovelife777
      @leolovelife777 14 дней назад

      God loves you. Universe can do nothing. God is near the brokenhearted 🙏

  • @Brandonp76
    @Brandonp76 11 месяцев назад +9

    Finally somebody said it. It’s on me to do the work on myself, not understand why the narcissist is the way that they are. The real question is. Why was I attracted to them… Thank you.

  • @mortdigo
    @mortdigo 7 месяцев назад +3

    What a refreshing video....biggest messege for me from this vid is to stop focusing on them and get on with your life :-)

  • @christinefury1040
    @christinefury1040 Год назад +22

    You gave some advice that most do not. “Focus on why you missed the signs of the Narc. To begin with. Forgive yourself but work hard to understand yourself.

  • @AshleyMintz
    @AshleyMintz 8 месяцев назад +11

    This is such a good video! I didn't truly heal after dealing with a narcissist until I got real about the fact that I was getting something out of being codependent with the narcissist. It's hard to explain this to people who are early in their healing journey after narcissistic abuse.

  • @AyeYoZay
    @AyeYoZay Год назад +45

    My mom has definitely escalated all of these since I’ve finally made it to where I can be on my own and told her I’m done. Ain’t falling for it though.

    • @leanne123
      @leanne123 Год назад +3

      Hurray !! Free at last !! 🎉🥳

    • @AyeYoZay
      @AyeYoZay Год назад +1

      @@leanne123 🙏🏾❤️

    • @myrtenuman621
      @myrtenuman621 Год назад +5

      My mother expressed the opinion that I needed electro-shock therapy because I refused to have any contact with her. Big hug and good luck to you.

  • @maryellenyork2819
    @maryellenyork2819 Год назад +41

    Lol. When he told me how awful I was as a child, I called my parents, siblings and friends in the country where I grew up to ask if I behaved that way. Everyone was shocked because I was not like that at all. That's when I considered projection and realized his every accusation was self-revelation. It gave me compassion but he ran to a new source of supply.

    • @leanne123
      @leanne123 Год назад +9

      Don't bother with the compassion for him gf He has none for you.

  • @jilross4892
    @jilross4892 Год назад +28

    So they are fully aware of what they are doing

  • @cocomaire
    @cocomaire Год назад +42

    Wow. Getting tangled with a narcissist was what made me start really examining my childhood. I had loving parents, but they both had traumatic childhoods. They did a lot of their own inner work, but some of the trauma did pass to me. I’m trying not to pass it to my children. Thanks for the clear explanation

    • @daeclipse03
      @daeclipse03 Год назад +4

      Same. Kind of a blessing in disguise honestly. I know what's been holding me back in prior relationships and more importantly what caused that trauma in my childhood.

    • @SusanaXpeace2u
      @SusanaXpeace2u 10 месяцев назад +1

      Same. after I escaped my abusive x and I started noticing that they both SHUT DOWN "my side" instantly, and not just shut me down but also both acted the victim of my having considered that there was another perspective. I began to realise, this frustration is familiar. Because of my parents I ended up with people around me who also believed, there is one perspective; MINE, and your attempt to present another perspective is outrageous!!
      I realised it was the same mixture of emotions. Frustration, shame and injustice!!

  • @stylist62
    @stylist62 8 месяцев назад +5

    Wow, he always knew, I was continually figuring him out, he kept changing tactics, always trying to get me to fight, almost killed me, from cruelty to harmless victim, I had no idea what I was dealing with, felt bad for him.
    He did everything you say, slowly chipped away at me until I was traumatized

  • @HeavyMetalChick_333
    @HeavyMetalChick_333 Год назад +12

    No one and I mean no one deserves abuse of any kind for any reason whatsoever!!! I don't care what they have done or haven't done!!! If you can't try to be kind, loving, and respectful to everyone, then you should keep your mouth shut and not hurt others. Stop trying to control what others do, say, their appearance, and etc. Mind your own business, take care of your own life, help others when you can, respect everyone and yourself, and don't crap on others!!!

  • @brendanthebdog
    @brendanthebdog Год назад +31

    Thanks for this one Kenny!
    After dating the latest iteration of my mom, I knew I couldn't keep repeating the same pattern. I really was just living out that worst day cycle. Despite years of weight lifting, martial arts training, and even firefighting; there I was, a toddler freezing or fawning while being abused. Traveling back in time to some enraged lunatic hurling my toy firetruck down the stairs and breaking it while telling me I did to myself and I deserve it and I'm lucky that's all she did. Hurts like hell man!
    Narcissists are easy to figure out in the present, they are damaged, hurtful people that are generally intolerable. I just needed the approval of someone who I genuinely believe toyed with the thought of killing me as a child. Seriously, it sends a cold shudder down my spine to remember how she reacted to the Andrea Yates story when I was a kid.

    • @fruitypopwhickle6806
      @fruitypopwhickle6806 Год назад +10

      I don't know you, Brendan, but I know you didn't deserve any of what you went through. You're a remarkable person for not only surviving, but wanting to be and do better than the individual who hurt you. Peace, light and healing to you.

  • @nga672
    @nga672 11 месяцев назад +14

    OMG Kenny I am just so grateful for the sharing of your knowledge. I needed this 20 years ago - thank you for giving it to me now. George Elliot said, “ It’s never too late to be the person you should have been”.

    • @kennyweiss
      @kennyweiss  11 месяцев назад +1

      Glad it was helpful!

  • @jozillagorilla117
    @jozillagorilla117 8 месяцев назад +3

    I'm glad I came across this. I've been stuck in that spiral of watching videos on narcissism for over a year. I need to move forward after what she did, but I also feel like I need to understand her so i don't fall for her manipulative tactics she keeps trying to use. She left me with primary custody of our six kids. I'm trying to avoid her traps so I can take care of them.

  • @sassymango9369
    @sassymango9369 Год назад +17

    Kenny is out here dropping truth bombs 💯

  • @huruduru5144
    @huruduru5144 10 месяцев назад +6

    These people have traded their soul for Narcissism and are now dead inside..And what they hate about you is that you have a healthy soul and they are very jealous of that and they very much WANT IT! This is why they get angry when you fight them on their Narcissism because THEY WANT A SOUL! Every Time they get supply from you they take a piece of your soul and it feels soooooo good to them They want to take your soul and give you theirs..A soul exchange,. their dead soul for your healthy soul. Every time they get supply from you, there is an exchange, they feel good and you feel bad. This is why after a while you start feeling dead inside yourself.. This is why victims says they are evil. because they feel this..

  • @jdaustin7073
    @jdaustin7073 Год назад +19

    I'm going through all of these right now. I had just the kind of childhood you talk about and it made me an easy victim. After 20+ years of her abusive DARVO BS I caught her cheating. Over that 20+ years I was working through my childhood trauma issues. I gave her 6 months to transition to the other house to lower the impact on our kids and get into therapy so she wouldn't screw up our kids. After waiting over 100 days with her waffling back and forth saying she would grant the divorce and making threats I outed everything publicly in the vaguest way I could. She did the Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender thing responding with personal attacks that were lies and half truths to assasinate my character and make me look like a monster and pervert. I responded, and defended... she used it to twist things even further. She's started therapy and gone to two sessions; I think she's already charmed the guy. I just want to protect my kids from that darkness in her!

  • @emmsue1053
    @emmsue1053 9 месяцев назад +3

    ""Its *their life its none of our business" Very true. Adults are capable of making their own decisions. WE can smile, be evasive, ignore.. A sense of humour can carry you through! Thank you.

  • @smustipher
    @smustipher Год назад +6

    I knew I turned a corner in my healing journey when a relative with narcissistic traits (whom I have housed, supported financially, and managed care for after they sustained a TBI) told me, after I confronted them about a poor decision they made, told me that I have been "undermining them for their whole life". Rather than feeling upset or defending, I just felt grateful that I understood them better and could manage my interactions with them accordingly going forward.

  • @a4ordablehair
    @a4ordablehair Год назад +12

    This is the most helpful video I’ve watched thus far.. I’m definitely in the “hyperfocusing on them” part HEAVILY.. and I tell myself ALLL the time “but how do I heal from this?!” So glad you said get on with your life.. I think sometimes we just need to hear someone else say it❤❤❤❤❤

  • @twinkletee22
    @twinkletee22 Год назад +6

    It’s like they have to OBLITERATE you

  • @RoseMazza-u8s
    @RoseMazza-u8s Год назад +6

    I lived with my sister, and I realized she was a covert narcissist , when I didn’t do what she wanted , and I set a boundary, she got insane, , physical abuse with me , and evicted me from her house, I was paying her rent , but she still evicted me . I was living on Social Security alone. And she did not care . I ended up, living in a shelter for over two months, before I could get a place to live. She kept taking me to court on Domestic Violence charges, that were bogus, and were always thrown out of court. I’m still suffering from the mental abuse from her. I moved to another county and she found me and I don’t feel safe. And no one can help me. !!!! She’s very vengeful and spiteful and I never know what she’ll do next. ???!😢😢😢. I can’t get a way from her. !!!! The Law. Can’t do anything for me. !!!! I don’t feel. SAFE 😢😢😢😢. FROM. HER. 😢😢😢😢😢😢

    • @oraclehaveacookie9737
      @oraclehaveacookie9737 Год назад +4

      Thats why I dont have facebook or I tell anyone where I am. And by the way. Even if they track you down probably they cant do nothing to you. Go to the police denounce them. And to a dr and talk about your trauma with them. Leave bread crumbs of their behaviour everywhere and everyone.

  • @NextLevelTherapy
    @NextLevelTherapy 10 месяцев назад +2

    Because of your experience you truly tell it like it is - and be in reality! I can definitely attest to the work to be free! Sometimes the psyche isn't ready to really deal with their past and truly are blind to it because so busy feeling victimized by the other. Sadly, they may not see this until the relationship is completely broken and sometimes after several relationships are broken.

  • @rosieobi9260
    @rosieobi9260 Год назад +19

    My childhood has me a bit confused. I had a loving mother but she was a widowed deaf mute. In being so, life was black and white never empathetic. It also came with little general conversation other than what really needed to be said. Raising 3 small children on her own and trying to make ends meet meant she worked hard. She did also have trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms. What I find hard about all this is I know she wasn't those negative influences in my life because she wanted to be or didn't love me/us. I'm not sure where to begin to heal from this childhood. I know she did all she could to help us all survive our lot in life. 🤷

    • @EveofPyrite
      @EveofPyrite Год назад +9

      Wow bless her heart . It must have been hard on her doing all that alone. Also it must have been hard on you being raised that way.

    • @rosieobi9260
      @rosieobi9260 Год назад +5

      @@EveofPyrite ❤️

    • @JohnBlashock
      @JohnBlashock 10 месяцев назад +2

      She probably learned this to Coupe with the Difficulties She had to Live in the World in Her own way. I couldn’t begin to understand how difficult it would be. My Heart goes out to You all though and could understand where your Compassion is coming from for Her. You have a Giving Heart to be this way and it is Tough to not receive that what you obviously need to feel whole from this Relationship. Don’t expect it though, to not detach and become Cold is the Difficulty I see. I wish I could do more for you, but I Pray for You and your Family ❤

    • @Nylon_riot
      @Nylon_riot 10 месяцев назад +1

      When they say trauma, it can be anything from alcoholism, to depression to emotional apathy. I am a disability rep and worked with the school for the deaf. From what I understand that the deaf community can havve emotional illness or dysregulation because of the deafness itself, because they don't get to interact with anyone else like able people can. It is very isolating. I have had multiple deaf friends who self reported this to me It makes me sad. How lonely it must be.

  • @meghanahaval7701
    @meghanahaval7701 8 месяцев назад +1

    Wonderful video. Thank you for this. Focus on yourself and heal. It's hard while being stuck with the person. But I'm willing to do my inner healing work. ❤

  • @amberc000
    @amberc000 10 месяцев назад +4

    Incredible advice. I appreciate your gentle approach at delivering such bluntness. Thank you.

    • @kennyweiss
      @kennyweiss  10 месяцев назад

      You are so welcome!

  • @elderlypoodle9181
    @elderlypoodle9181 8 месяцев назад +1

    Oh my goodness I’m crying. You are an Angel man 🙏🏻🥰

  • @chosenforgreatness08
    @chosenforgreatness08 8 месяцев назад +1

    This was so in time for me.?thank you ❤ the best video to talk about our OWN healing And how much we are to blame ourselves and I have transferred that to my daughter

  • @anne-marietracey4866
    @anne-marietracey4866 Год назад +2

    This is so true! My mother, I have now reflected, devalued me as a child and also as a grown adult. Would criticise and emotionally attack me and always compared me negatively to my dad, who she felt had let her down all her life, said he was like her 5th child. I was my dads blue eyed girl. It is only going through my current relationship, and I have recently identified my partner of 4 years as a narcassist, that I have been able to see this. I have called time on the relationship. My partner has not put up any fight to keep me or acknowledged anything that I have said to him.
    I left a really decent, normal, grounded man, the father of my 2 wonderful children, 13 years ago. He didn’t outwardly show me the love that i now know I have been seeking. Hence 2 wrong choices of men since I left him. Singledom for me from now. Happy with that

  • @colettemcdonald2372
    @colettemcdonald2372 10 месяцев назад +3

    Kenny you saved my life

  • @Dynamic_heart
    @Dynamic_heart 10 месяцев назад +5

    I knew my childhood was messed up when I was a teen. Though it was shocking, the first time my store manager said to me when I was 16 “ your parents are weird.” Then it was a relief because I knew it was true.
    My mom actually attacked me when I was 23 or so. At first she tried to hit me in the face. I grabbed her arms, and I restrained her. She screamed for my dad acting victimized. I immediately let her go. As I walked away to get in my car, she attacked me from behind and knocked me to the ground. My dad said don’t ever step foot on this property again. I replied, for your sake go see a Psychiatrist. You are mentally ill. Yep, typical 2 year old brain thought pattern/ behavior. I had not had any therapy yet. I did know the truth. What I also learned later is about the cycle. 😢My boyfriend who I married is a Covert Narcissist. Guess what? I’m not a magical/ mystical human being that’s fantasy. I am an empath. Simply stated I am overly obsessed with being empathetic. So much so that I did not follow my intuition when I saw the first 5 red flags 🚩 about my boyfriend at the time. And run away.
    Watching your videos, enables me to do a lot of journaling. Thanks for helping me process. I honestly don’t think anyone reads my comments. Don’t Care. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @katiecat5500
    @katiecat5500 Год назад +16

    So evil to attack the wounded child.

  • @MehrnoushTabibzadehTehrani
    @MehrnoushTabibzadehTehrani 8 месяцев назад +1

    I don't know how to say thank you. The way you explained him “narcissist “was like you knew what I personally went through step by step Thank you!

  • @Kathy-kr1sv
    @Kathy-kr1sv Год назад +6

    55 years old SON. ALL 5
    NO CONTACT

  • @oonaghhagan9939
    @oonaghhagan9939 Год назад +2

    My stepfather has been abusing my Mother for yrs! Now she has cognitive impairment he is worse and stopping us seeing her! He is a narcissistic and verbally and emotionally has abused us for yrs! I'm 58 now but need to protect my Mother 😢Thank u for this video!

  • @patient_zer0850
    @patient_zer0850 9 месяцев назад +2

    Very smart man (also dressed very smart 🙂)! Thank you for your wisdom and uploading it ❤️

    • @kennyweiss
      @kennyweiss  9 месяцев назад

      Glad it was helpful!

  • @69judge27
    @69judge27 Год назад +196

    THEY CALL THE COPS. 😎🎸

    • @teresarodriguez821
      @teresarodriguez821 Год назад +31

      My Narcissistic eldest sister called the police on me in an argument she created by gaslighting me. The officer took her side and called me a 'racist' I reported him to his Lieutenant and my sister was furious that she could no longer manipulate a police officer.

    • @Bellatrix28618
      @Bellatrix28618 Год назад +25

      Yes!! He called the cops on me after pinning me down and threatening to kill me and throwing me full force Into my closet- breaking my shoe rack!! So twisted 😢

    • @Veronica-z8x
      @Veronica-z8x Год назад

      They would contact Child Protective Services if you have children. They will control how you are perceived by others if they cannot control you. A complete idiot!

    • @raegeh-fv9sm
      @raegeh-fv9sm Год назад +11

      Evil step monster order Christmas gifts for her biological sons. Called police on me and accused me of identity fraud and tried to get me arrested. Told her and the police if she didn't order items she should call the company and inform them that the order is fraud and cancel order. Then she should go to the post office and inform them of the fraud and ask that they not deliver the package. She did none of that and continued to call the police many times and keep the items she ordered.

    • @EternalflameC.L.
      @EternalflameC.L. Год назад +10

      Omg this literally 😵‍💫

  • @Kim-tx3pb
    @Kim-tx3pb 11 месяцев назад +1

    I like this focus as I feel I have been stuck in the anger trap for too long and sick of it.

  • @madbee3
    @madbee3 9 месяцев назад +3

    And an undiagnosed autism girl with a narcissistic mother and an aloof father which was his answer to keep peace with her

  • @Seminal_Ideas
    @Seminal_Ideas 10 месяцев назад +3

    I just want to sincerely thank you for this video. I've watched some excellent videos on narcissistic recovery on RUclips, but this one really hits the spot with me. I've been like a narc-magnet my whole life through broken marriages and other difficulties due to my toxic relationship with my father growing up. The inner child's voice only seems to get louder with age.

    • @kennyweiss
      @kennyweiss  10 месяцев назад +1

      You are very welcome

    • @XeLYoutube
      @XeLYoutube 10 месяцев назад +1

      list mistake error , repeated mistake error, to learn wich error mistake get more repeated and are more to be prioritised, list potential solution
      list victories and good move, repeat them.
      minmax potential
      lower misery
      learn, apply, repeat

  • @through.a.barrel.she.breathes
    @through.a.barrel.she.breathes 10 месяцев назад +3

    This is so en pointe Kenny. I constantly tried to understand why I kept suffering trying to figure out the narcissist and now it makes total sense.

  • @sp4rtavus244
    @sp4rtavus244 Год назад +6

    Jeez I wish this video existed 8 mths ago. This is such a brilliant video and he explains it so well and literally made me cry. I am moving on now. Thx brother.

    • @Nylon_riot
      @Nylon_riot 10 месяцев назад

      There is a point where the grief itself becomes a pathological problem. Which is why you see people who are still on the topic 15 years later. Trauma and active grieving should be temporary.

  • @codrake784
    @codrake784 7 месяцев назад +2

    Over several months now, I have been watching numerous videos of how to deal and cope with people who has a Narcissistic trait. By far, this is the best video I have seen of how Kenny Weiss actually describes the dynamics and what causes a person to become a Narcissist. This is so bloody true, and I am actually amazed how of how the origin started. Thank you very much. Wonderful advice.

  • @margaretbradley6693
    @margaretbradley6693 8 месяцев назад +2

    Well, it also feels like "home".
    Our parents model our sense of normality.
    Forty-fifty years ago, most of us had virtually no understanding of "trauma"....unless we studied psychiatry.
    Even then, awareness of childhood trauma was not understood or acknowledged.

  • @margaretbradley6693
    @margaretbradley6693 8 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for unpacking this in such a meaningful way.
    It really helps !!

  • @mariafarley7602
    @mariafarley7602 9 месяцев назад +1

    What do they live off of: our emotional reaction. Wow!

  • @normalimbaga2253
    @normalimbaga2253 Год назад +2

    I don't know but I let go let God thank you

  • @maxwell-cole
    @maxwell-cole 10 месяцев назад +2

    This video is profoundly 😮honest, and extremely informative. Thank you sir.

    • @kennyweiss
      @kennyweiss  10 месяцев назад

      Glad it was helpful!

  • @dclarke1896
    @dclarke1896 Год назад +8

    Thank you for this great video! Disengaging, healing and getting on with my own life has set me free!

  • @margyrowland
    @margyrowland Год назад +11

    Thank you Kenny for sharing your wisdom. Love your attire…..purple and gold 👍🏻

  • @tammyfitzgerald5336
    @tammyfitzgerald5336 Год назад +8

    Forgive and live ❤❤❤let God deal w these humans

  • @Tower_Of_Light
    @Tower_Of_Light Месяц назад +1

    Fantastic video Kenny!

  • @Dynamic_heart
    @Dynamic_heart 10 месяцев назад +4

    Kenny, I told my husband if you attempt to intimidate me by getting in my face being verbally abusive I am calling the police.
    Some don’t realize that verbal abuse is domestic violence.

  • @john316mitchell4
    @john316mitchell4 Год назад +18

    Thank you so very much Kenny. I am grateful for the knowledge that is shared with so much Truth, Love, and most of all, focusing on loving ourselves enough to choose to heal. (Spiritually, Emotionally, Mentally and yes, even Physically.) It is all interconnected. Much Respect Always! 🙏🏼💚✨💜

  • @eilamariesartre8823
    @eilamariesartre8823 Год назад +3

    I love the way they project their role and what they're thinking onto you as if they can actually see into your head. I'm in a battle with one and he thinks dragging me through the mud with my past is going to destroy me, but I am proud of what I've recovered from and the past doesn't predict the future when you break the cycle.
    The connection with the childhood is real... my mom was too busy working to raise me as a single parent and the marc played the same game. I somehow became completely good without being with anyone after finally having a mostly healthy relationship (with someone that had anxious attachment so I kind of ended up securely attached by trying to help that person with their issues). I don't know how it all worked out but somehow I ended up OK on the other end and now the only way my ex gonna hurt me is by trying to go to court and taking our child he abandoned from over a year ago.

  • @TuerlingsTim
    @TuerlingsTim Год назад +2

    Yes you are totally right😁. The reaction was emotional and false information. My response was: I have read your response 3 times and finished with a smile. When this is your feeling than I will be nice and not giving you this negative feelings anymore. Good luck with your new love you already having😉. After that I blocked here and all related connections from email and internet apps. Than to clean the mind more deleted all communication and pictures of here because all was fake. It gave me a lot of rest and after firing the study on internet everything became more clear. Thanks for your input. Yes the cause is my childhood and from their I looked forward 👍🏻👍🏻

  • @stanleybridge
    @stanleybridge 3 месяца назад

    I’m getting the “Nobody is coming to save you.” t shirt. It seems that’s what it boils down to. Thanks Kenny!

  • @gigichica
    @gigichica 8 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for this video. It makes so much sense. It's eye-opening. .

  • @treshasstarr1513
    @treshasstarr1513 9 месяцев назад +2

    “You keep going back because you’re focusing on the narc instead of the childhood trauma” deep, this just triggered me to be better do better

    • @kennyweiss
      @kennyweiss  9 месяцев назад

      Good for you that takes guts. If you’re looking for Solutions, my website is filled with tons of things to help you.

  • @jjule85azzuro4
    @jjule85azzuro4 7 месяцев назад +1

    Yes! The reaction and the trauma it causes.
    When I stopped taking the bait. The made up blackmail started.
    Than the victim.
    The name calling .
    The pure gold is understanding exactly what this video is talking about and no longer getting sucked in.

  • @ancyeulalie1211
    @ancyeulalie1211 6 месяцев назад +1

    All of this happened to him so that we could be guided, this is prophet hood.

  • @MaiBarslev
    @MaiBarslev 10 месяцев назад +4

    We allways talk about parents, what about violent manipulating siblings, teachers and violent manipulating class-school mades. it is not only the parent who forms/shapes your childhood.

  • @IndigoBlue-td9ho
    @IndigoBlue-td9ho 8 месяцев назад +1

    It's very true. I pulled away have detached. Her mum told me she was worried about her. So I contacted her to try and help. She told me she didn't want me back "I didn't ask" I said good don't want to come back. I said I was trying to help her because evil spirits are attacking her. She got so angry and told me go do as a pleased and she couldn't care less if I was sleeping with dozens of women. I was left thinking how odd. I called to help with evil spirits and she twisted it to me getting back with her "gaslighting" but I know this trick now so I kept saying why are you so angry? I didn't get angry at all nor did it pull me in. It actually repelled me

  • @MrFunktone
    @MrFunktone Год назад +22

    This is a brilliant video. Thanks for the reminder it's easy to get lost in the haze. I wish I could totally unpack the considerable trauma I suffered as a child. In some ways I have managed to but I think a professional would help to fully understand it and accept it

    • @margyrowland
      @margyrowland Год назад +6

      I now realise I have CPTSD and I don’t have the same responses as regular people. I’m learning lots about myself after 60 years of trying to manage “life”. More than 20 years no contact with a malignant narcissist mother who recently died. Hopefully some of my children will open their minds now the constant drip, drip of her poison has been switched off. You and I will be OK! Love from Australia 🇦🇺

    • @MrFunktone
      @MrFunktone Год назад +2

      @@margyrowland thanks for the really nice reply! We've both been through the wringer by these toxic people but we are stronger and good people at the end of the day. Love back to you from England

    • @EmpoweredToBeMe
      @EmpoweredToBeMe Год назад +2

      @@margyrowlandwell done. The “work” you did, be proud of yourself.

    • @Rwhisper-sy9qu
      @Rwhisper-sy9qu Год назад +2

      Big Little Lies Nicole Kidman

  • @margaretbradley6693
    @margaretbradley6693 8 месяцев назад +2

    Same story here.
    Can relate.
    He was a psychopath.....still is....35 years later.

  • @dundascrew5650
    @dundascrew5650 8 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for this video, it’s helped a lot.

  • @rdhette944
    @rdhette944 10 месяцев назад +2

    Spot on, as always. Thank you! ❤

    • @kennyweiss
      @kennyweiss  10 месяцев назад

      You are so welcome

  • @whitelily4705
    @whitelily4705 6 месяцев назад +1

    Your words are saving my life. Yes, it's my turn! Thank you Kenny.

  • @waterfall844
    @waterfall844 Год назад +4

    This is so on point. I kept wondering why I kept suffering trying to figure out the Narcissist. And makes total sense. I finally understand why. To think years tormented silently also wondering why they were so cruel as Narcisstic. Thank you!

  • @stephaneRoudaut-xt1dg
    @stephaneRoudaut-xt1dg 4 месяца назад +1

    Thanks you very Much Doctor Kenny Weiss ,I'm looking you from France & your talks do help me understand far more my neighbour downstairs Who unfortenately IS a narcisisst and voilent and IS After me . Thank you for your generosity and humbleness and Keen désire to help others with your expertise and expérience.God bless you and your loved ones

  • @sage62
    @sage62 Год назад +2

    This is such a great video, I really want to thank you, I've watched hundreds of these videos and never have I heard that I was attracted to him due to what all happened to me as a child, I wouldn't of ever thought that was why, but the more I think about it, my mind is blown thats exactly whats going on, my Dad was loving but not around and my mom never touched me and im always wanting to be hugged and love for me validated and when my Dad left I believed I wasn't reason enuf to stay for, I was 5 so I didnt understand my mom didnt have a choice, he did however have a choice when he cheated on my mom and stayed with that woman and had a child and there was no time for me, on top of that is much more different types of trauma that I'll spare you the details. So I can not thank you enough for posting this, so well said and so well laid out. Ive been trying to separate from him for a while but he refuses to leave, we've been together 20 yrs but this last yr was different I could tell he met someone else, and completely destroyed our lives. Right now, all he can do is devalue and project his misery. I woke up to a text this morning, basically just stating im a horrible person and the reason everything is messed up, and that Im a liar, which I actually take pride in the fact I never really have a reason to need to lie. Im trying to save up to get my daughter the hell out of this, but its gonna take time, and it's just pure hell. Hes a covert so its sickening to see all the people in hus life be so convinced how great he is, if I told them what I know, they wouldn't believe me, hes a master manipulator. Wish me luck. I need it!! I cant thank you enough for this informative video? I feel stronger just knowing why/how this happened.

  • @michellebudziszewski8242
    @michellebudziszewski8242 Год назад +4

    Yep he's trying to destroy me now. I finally went to the police and am getting a lawyer. It's scary because the people in his life believe him. I know what he's capable of and im scared but fighting for me. Seeking help I can't do this alone. I let myself cry and finally realized just how badly I need to get back in therapy

    • @leanne123
      @leanne123 Год назад +5

      Crying helps clear away the emotions so you can think clearly. If you don;t feel the pain and cry you will remain in a state of confusion and indecision, Allow your self to cry until there are no tears left. Then you won;t be plagued with "unprosessed" emotions for the rest of your life. Unless you express your feelings they don't go away. Pain, anger, sadness remain until you allow yourself to cry. ❤️

  • @Dynamic_heart
    @Dynamic_heart 10 месяцев назад +2

    I stopped defending for several reasons. First, I don’t personalize. Second it’s redundant. Finally, and most important he isn’t listening.

  • @zoraidita2022
    @zoraidita2022 Год назад +11

    This is on point. My maternal family were NARCs and very dysfunctional and no wonder I attract narcissistic people. It makes more sense now. As the middle child, I was always looking for approval and attention. 😢

  • @NickBB
    @NickBB 7 месяцев назад +1

    These videos are changing my life after what happened. I'm about to schedule a session with you Kenny

    • @kennyweiss
      @kennyweiss  7 месяцев назад

      Looking forward to being a part of your journey!

  • @msdukaaa
    @msdukaaa 10 месяцев назад +2

    "The sky is Purple Kenny, just look at the painting behind you. The one with the purple clouds and purple sky. My God! This is what you always do. You start arguing about anything. You know, this is how you probably forced your ex to leave you. I hope this time, you realize it and apologize to me. And be glad I am not reminding you of what you did to me last week. Next time you do this to me I will leave you and take the dog."

  • @Notbothered1
    @Notbothered1 10 месяцев назад +5

    You ignore them.. it really pisses them off 😂

  • @ursache1979
    @ursache1979 7 месяцев назад +2

    i think this is the most important clip about narcisists i saw and what should i do in the future. i have a special case because we are close neighbours but i know will heal one day soon

  • @DaRyteJuan
    @DaRyteJuan Год назад +6

    This is some dense material to get through.
    The covert female narcissist in my life is my primary care physician.
    Recently she manipulated my private parts without permission. But she did so right in front of a female nurse as if to say, “Look. I can do whatever I want with this patient.”

    • @zoraidita2022
      @zoraidita2022 Год назад +2

      😮 WOW that's not right!

    • @DaRyteJuan
      @DaRyteJuan Год назад

      @@zoraidita2022 Thanks. I’m trying to get an apology from her r/n. I have basically suggested to her she’s risking her medical license if she doesn’t apologize.
      Still waiting … ⏳

    • @oraclehaveacookie9737
      @oraclehaveacookie9737 Год назад +1

      😢ask God to take her away and to send you someone normal

    • @jessicatobias9371
      @jessicatobias9371 8 месяцев назад

      Wow. sorry that happened to you !

  • @morganlake41632
    @morganlake41632 9 месяцев назад +2

    What about the evidence of using art to reveal, heal....? Forgiveness is dangerous - I should only forgive those who can be trusted not to injure me again. I cannot be trusted with this. I must earn my own trust - takes time and many events because I have lied to myself so often about so much.

  • @thekimberlynproject
    @thekimberlynproject Год назад +5

    This is so accurate! Ty!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 This absolutely validates my healing journey… I’m not crazy😂TY!

  • @0neandOnlyyy
    @0neandOnlyyy 6 месяцев назад +2

    I got fired for making it known that I knew my "director" was a Narcissist and had been gaslighting myself, other employees and patients. She started writing me up for real petty things and then bold faced lied with her reasons for terminating me....👹

  • @b.i.k.i.b.i.k.i
    @b.i.k.i.b.i.k.i 11 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you Kenny 🙏🏻
    I’ve full responsibility and understand where my childhood trauma stems from. I believe my mother was a narc, I married 2 & gave birth to one who’s now a young adult. The hardest is being a parent to one.
    Do you think having narcs around you all your life can contribute to you adapting some narc traits yourself. Sometimes I think I could be a narcissist too or display narc tendencies. I just to feel relief and learn what a normal life is like 😢

  • @rebeccaconn389
    @rebeccaconn389 8 месяцев назад

    Great video … I agree with the next step in healing is: seeing your own trauma that caused you to be lured in by a narcissist. I’ve discovered that seeing this about myself was difficult at first … but so necessary to fully heal myself so I can be in a good relationship in the future.

  • @jacklimcortez7660
    @jacklimcortez7660 Год назад +3

    Wow I get it thank for making it clear now I'm working on not getting involved with narcissist I have been through all that in the past you are so right I am moving forward and feeling good 😊❤️🍀😁 hope others accept truth so they can move forward with happiness peace and joy and trash the bad stuff so worth the journey the truth sets you free

  • @coolbro6969
    @coolbro6969 Год назад +1

    kenny you have the best advice in tis space because you talk about personal responsibility. its ultimately up to us to heal and respect ourselves. its awesome.

  • @Demongdn
    @Demongdn Год назад +3

    I don't agree with your assumption that any victim of a narcissist has had issues in their childhood. I had the perfect childhood, I'm not attracted to narcs. Reality is, I met someone attractive online, she told me she couldn't get pregnant, she got pregnant and I stood by her. It was a sexual attraction, nothing more, nothing less. She was clever and I was stupid.

  • @TnL-nt2kd
    @TnL-nt2kd Год назад +2

    Oh, btw, they said 5 minutes b4 they called cops " I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. YOU ONLY ONE FOR ME. PLEASE BELIEVE ME!". Like, wtf

  • @dongerdong1184
    @dongerdong1184 4 месяца назад +1

    Narcissist women i married liked to always tell me how to be a man that she would respect, when I asked her if she thought she acted like a women that a man she assumed she deserved would deal with. Rage, rage, rage, rage now that its over. What a mental case she was.

  • @yvonnes7412
    @yvonnes7412 Год назад +3

    Yep my 2nd husband was a combination of both my parents in childhood. My husband was a neglectful narcissist (similar to a covert narcissist but abandons)… my father is a covert narcissist and my mother was neglectful because of her alcoholism… it was like my husband was a storm of all the problems with both my parents

  • @Notknowme
    @Notknowme 6 месяцев назад +1

    It's the best and most useful video I watched about this theme, I'm one of those who spent the last two months getting all possible information about It. I didn't know anything about NPD and PD, so it took some time to figure it out what I've been through. All things he said happened in the really same way and still going on from the moment I spoiled her and all her lies in that moment it's been like a switch of personalitity and i didn't know anymore the person I was in front of. It's been devastating realising that the person I've been together in years wouldn't exist and everything was a recital. I've always had feelings of something strange in her, but i wouldn't ever think something like this... but passing time, I even realise that I have a problem too..

  • @jesperandersson889
    @jesperandersson889 Год назад +2

    oh wow this is the killer presentation you got it made - still its hard but you know this is the way to describe this - now go do the job exactly (and still watching videos and ruminatin helps), this however is the killer message - with the best description of what REALLY is going on spannnxxx!!!