My PTSD Story
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
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I'm Molly, a typical sushi, makeup, and fashion loving millennial girl who just so happens to be blind! I was diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa at just 4 years old and began public speaking at age 5. I started just doing motivational speaking, but now I make videos and even model! Even though I can’t see, I know that there are bright spots in everything we face. Let’s find them together. 💕
Do you have any mental health related questions for me about my personal mental health journey?
If you want to keep up with me on the daily, follow @mollyburkeofficial on IG/TikTok!
How to mention it to people when you are recently diagnosed? Want to mention my anxiety diagnosis with close friends, but worried about response.
I have anxiety with OCD tendencies. Primarily being unwanted thought about needing to urinate constantly.
@@alyssafortson the best thing to start with is understand what you are and aren't willing to talk about. Setting up those boundaries first before you start to talk to others about it. Then when you have enough time to have the conversation with them, sit them down and explain what it means for you. Good friends will listen and try their best to understand. I wish you the best of luck.
What are your skills you use to help with ptsd symptoms or anxiety episodes that work considering your blindness. Most skills are multi sensory, , like certain touch or smells.
I’m also a pile of mental illnesses. I’ve been diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder, PTSD, Chronic depression, Generalized anxiety with panic attacks and bipolar 2 disorder, and I suffer from dissociation, self harm and suicidal tendencies and have been hospitalized multiple times . I have a psychiatric service dog to help me manage the challenges of these illnesses.
I got diagnosed at the age of 18-19.
Such a brave step to take on this topic again, esp considering your current struggles. I have had PTSD for a couple different reasons/events in my life. Therapy (both thru meds and working with a therapist/psychologist) has done wonders and is the biggest reason why I wish EVERYONE had access to get help at any given point in a person's life.
I am blind in the center of one eye and recently started losing vision in my good eye. I've been very worried about my mental health and what that journey would be like if I'm no longer able to see to do some of the things that help me through the tough times. What types of activities/tricks/techniques have your therapists focused on or suggested that might be different from a sighted person? I know that I might not be wording it correctly so please forgive me....but is there a different approach for a blind person versus a sighted person? I know some of the things I currently do can be adapted but others can't be...or will take a lot of additional learning before I would then be able to try to adapt it. What challenges did/do you have or things that you find frustrating that were related to therapy and your blindness? I hope I am not coming across in an ableist way so I apologize if so.....but I am genuinely worried about it because we still can't even figure out the cause of my sudden, advanced uveitis....and I feel like I need to prepare for my vision to continually worsen.
It does not matter what caused the PTSD. If your brain can't handle it, you can't escape it. There is nothing wrong with needing help/treatment. Our lives are complicated and messy and there is no reason to have to go it alone. My friends have been the biggest help on my journey. Trauma does not care so having people that care is so amazing.
My friend was traumatized by that time when there were jumpscares plastered all over videos online. Remember that? Good times. Good times. Anyway she refuses to watch anything if someone she knows hasn’t watched it yet. And I think I saw a few times when people mocked her and said she’s a wuss. I’m like wtf. Like why? Be? Rude? lol
I have dissociative identity disorder, which is generally regarded as the “most extreme” form of PTSD. A lot of the time I struggle with my trauma not being bad enough. But what helps me realize that trauma isn’t what the experience itself is - it’s how your brain processes it. So to my brain, it was “enough”. (I’m agreeing with you!)
@@claireb6543 I hate when people do that. “It’s not that bad” really really?
I have to do a million things to deal my mental health, but it’s not that bad.
@@dont_harsh_my_mellow I didn’t know that PTSD could develop that way.
I guess that most people dnt realize the different ways you can develop it.
Sorry to ask here but I know you’ve watched it.
I want to watch it but have PTSD and want to avoid triggers.
Is this video only highlighting medical trauma or are there other traumas mentioned?
Of course all trauma is valid but trauma concerning
s * * u a l a * * u l t is something I cannot do.
Thanks for opening up Molly. You are not alone!
I love when you talk about mental health, it makes me feel more represented as someone who has sometimes debilitating anxiety.
I agree with every word, because I also sometimes have debilitating anxiety.
Same, anxiety and ptsd
I agree! I also struggle with anxiety and other mental disorders and I really feel not alone when I hear about other peoples journeys
I used to think what I felt was normal. But after all the mental, physical and emotional exhaustion and reading about anxiety I understood that this is a real thing and it’s not my fault.
@@user-gi2kq5iu5l same when I started having anxiety issues. I didn’t know what was happening to me...
Keep up the hard work
I'd just like to say that if you are someone who needs medication long-term, there's no shame in that. I don't think this is how Molly meant it, but the notion that you can learn to manage symptoms on your own "rather than have a chemical do it for you" isn't always possible for everyone. All treatment paths are valid :)
Thank you, I was going to say the same.
were all wired so differently ! I am a life long med person, I finally just had to tell a doctor, after decades, I know i do my best and live my best life on medication, and that I would rather be on a med the rest of my life, than spend every day wishing I could shut off my entire brain and hide. I couldnt keep living my life my life at 0 to 10% , when simple meds and therapy puts me at 99% !! No shame in meds, getting help, or therapy for sure. . sending good vibes to you all! :)
Yes THIS!
Very true
Thank you for the reminder. I recently started on my anti-depressant for the 3rd time in my life.
Yes! PTSD is not just caused by wars/bombs/terror, etc. It can be caused by family members, animals, really anything (trauma is when your brain cannot make sense of an event and keeps replaying it). Thanks for this!
There's also CPTSD which is common after an abusive relationship. Where as PTSD is common after a single traumatic event.
What does cptsd stand for
@@Lolilillisjdjdhddj complex post traumatic stress disorder.
@@properjammy To build on that (for anyone confused about the difference)
Complex PTSD (CPTSD) is from _long term_ trauma or a series of trauma over time - its especially common in people who were abused as children and who's entire personality was formed in trauma, or in people with long term medical trauma (again, especially as children), but it can also occur in adults after, for example, abusive relationships or being stationed in a warzone long term.
PTSD is from one off events or short term trauma - an assault, a car crash, a traumatic medical experience, a particular bad experience at war (eg: getting shot, or witnessing something traumatic).
@@properjammy if there’s many different traumas from different times in life or ongoing trauma in a relationship or abuse situation could also potentially be diagnosed as cptsd
I totally understand. Because I am totally deaf and totally blind. So when I go to my appointments to all my doctors. I have a certified sign language interpreter meet me there. And my interpreter will tell them that you had to explain everything you’re going to do because she cannot see you at all and she cannot hear you at all. So I totally understand. The only reason I know what’s going on in your video because I have my girlfriend here she knows sign language so she’s signing in my hand call tactile sign language so I know what you are saying. And she describes your background to me.
That is SO COOL!!! You rock!
Did you use voice to text or did your girlfriend type for you, if it's okay to ask?
@@sleepyote
Thank u for asking, I did myself my Beautiful love 🤟🤟🤟❤️❤️❤️❤️
U will see 3 I love u hand sings in sign language,
If you’re totally blind, how do you read sign language?
@@artglue2 as they said, tactile sign
Thanks Molly for your brave sharing, I am 54 and suffer from PTSD, because I was undiagnosed autistic, which I was born with but because people did not recognise this was the case as female. I was eventually diagnosed as having autism age 38. I was bullied really badly and struggled to cope in school, and later on was bullied in some work places.
That must be so horrible. Here have a hug from a fellow autistic person: *insert digital hug *
I was diagnosed with autism at 26
It makes me sooo mad every time I hear about someone being bullied!! You're human beings like any other person in this world. My daughter has cerebral palsy and one time when I picked her up at school, walking back to my car this kid started walking like my daughter! I told him you better not be making fun of my daughter because you're going to be in big trouble!!! I never saw him again, my daughter was about 7 years old. I step up for people I don't even know!!
Well I am an artistic person I’m able bodied but you would know if I was autistic if you met me and that’s a stereotype wedding wedding itself but what I’m trying to say is I was diagnosed at the age of 5/6 with autism visual impairment blindness and Barbados syndrome by the Beatles syndrome is the cause of it but what I’m trying to say is I am a fellow autistic person I Mail and I know that I’m probably not the best person in this decision but I’m going to say to hell with it I have autism you have autism as far as I can tell from reading the comment and just I know that if I was in your position I would want to give you a hug I think you’ve been bullied in school and the workplace is disgusting I would fight for you right now my friend and it’s just it’s not acceptable we live in a world discrimination editing needs to be talked about and just wanna let you know that you’re not alone and you deafly get hugs from me and I’m showing compassion when I say that
I was bullied from elementary school to end of high school. Not autistic. But ADHD. And there’s a LOT of overlap. In college the bullying stopped. I’m fine. But I have PTSD too. Emotionally scarred. Scared. Idk. It never leaves. Wow.
molly, i have suffered from generalized anxiety for about a year now. i am also neurodiverse. i live with adhd. your channel has really helped me cope with these conditions. thanks for spreading awareness for the neurodiverse and disabled community. we really need voices.
If you ever need someone to talk to, go to reddit ADHDwomen, it's a place full of people like us who understand and can share experiences and tips. You are not alone, even though sometimes it truly feels like it
I have suffered from generalized anxiety disorder for 26 years now!
B Girl, if you haven't already, check out How To ADHD. hehe when I discovered her channel a few years ago, I binged every video she'd done within like 2 weeks. It's awesome! She has adhd and does a ton of research and makes videos on different topics pertaining to adhd.
@@rosacruz6274 if you haven't already, check out Yo Samdy Sam, Stephanie Bethanny, Autism From the Inside, Carol Bird. All their channels helped me realize my own autism last year at 33. Between those and joining late diagnosis autism fb groups, I've learned so much about myself and found community with them. It's so amazing to not feel alone ❤
I also have generalised anxiety and panic disorder and I am on a waiting list to be assessed for potential Autism.
💜💜💜💜💜
Sending so much love & light your way!
20:35 I love how casually she says that like "yeah I did that thing with selena gomez, anyways... "
I searched for this comment
My psychiatrist says I have complex ptsd from my childhood and single ptsd from a couple of experiences as an adult because I’m a highly sensitive person. People are judgmental and narrow minded about it.
God bless you!
"So many times I wonder, why is my brain like this, why can't I just let it go. But my mind is just like that." GIRL SAME!!! I relate to that so much, like Molly said, it's not something you can control, but you can manage it and heal from it. Even though it never leaves you, you can still grow and be out there living your best life!
God bless you!
I’d love to hear how mama Bee recounts all of this. Sometimes it can be hard to know how best to support someone going through something like this, and it sounds like she has some really good experience and probably some good tips!
Molly: My hands are baby carrots.
Me: Imagine carrots with blue nail polish
I don't think they look very orange...maybe it's the lighting but they don't look that bad to me...
@@Upper_echelon_exotics I agree
I have a service dog for PTSD and I get told a lot that I either don’t have PTSD because I’m not a veteran or I’m not deserving of my service dog because “there are vets that need a dog more.” My dog is multipurpose that I only say he’s medical alert now.
I would love to learn more about this. One of my friends has a PTSD service dog and I’m too nervous to ask about what specific services her service dog provides. I’m curious to learn more like Molly has showed us about guide dogs!
@@gracegardone350 everyone is different but my dog stops self harming behavior. Applies deep pressure therapy (like a weighted blanket) to my legs and body. He also guides me to safe places and or finds people I am with.
I didn't know they have service dogs for ptsd, but it totally makes sense in my opinion! So nice that you always have someone by your side! ❤️🐶
That’s a shame. You deserve better
@@ellentevault6244 thank you
I just wanted to say, as a 16-year-old with PTSD who is often undermined by others, it was really nice to have someone talk about their experiences and validate that I don't have to be exposed to war to develop PTSD. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable, especially with such a large audience. Thank you for sharing!
Some people witness a genozide and shrug it off, some get their ass grabbed in a club and end up severely traumatised. Might be an extreme example but in the end everybody is different and just because someone else has it worse, doesn't mean you're "not allowed" to feel bad.
@@LadyPandaGoddessOfTheCakeHunt Absolutely! People often don't believe me as well, because I witnessed an attempted murder where the guy who did it only got charged with aggravated assault and because I'm a minor, the police can't disclose my identity to the public...most of my own family don't even know what I saw that day, and it's hard to explain what it's like. Anyone's trauma is valid, and it's nice to hear others who agree.
@@caitlynungrin1394 I'm incredibly sorry that you have to suffer through this :(
Stay strong! Asking your parents if you could go see a therapist might also help.
@@LadyPandaGoddessOfTheCakeHunt Thank you for your support! I've gone to therapy in the past and the lady actually made my issues worse, and my parents still go to her, so I don't really have that option right now, however, I'm going into psychology at university starting the fall of 2022, and hopefully, I'll be able to sort myself out and help others who are struggling.
@@caitlynungrin1394 had such a therapist too 😔 that's why I'm now sticking with psychiatrists... in my experience they are "better".
Starting psychology might help :) but if possible you should definitly try therapy again at some point (imo).
Can we just pause for a gosh darn second and talk about how flawless Molly looks in this 😻
Yaas! I absolutely love her hair like this
Oh boy I hate the "just get over it" comments!
Edit:So many similarities between our symptoms and after a PTSD diagnosis too I was relieved
I hate it as well my friend because when people say oh it’s fine get over it they will also say that about facial impairment/blindness oh it’s all in your head to get over this is never been said to me but the narrative has been there and I say screw these people they don’t know different I live with the condition they do not and then I won’t be able to help people are going through blindness/visual impairment and where I can make this world a better place
I also have PTSD with OCD. Thank you so much for talking about this. It's wonderful to feel less alone.
I do too. Sending hugs 💖
So do I. Although my OCD isn't trauma related
Sending love from Europe
I made it almost nine minutes before I had to quit, but I wanted to say that it feels good to know that I'm not alone. I also totally get what you mean when you talk about people saying "Just get over it."
Today, I ran into an abuser at the store. She didn't see me, but I saw her and I knew it was her. I nearly had an anxiety attack over it, and I nearly left the store over it. I don't think I'm gonna tell anyone because they've just gonna say I need to get over it. You don't get over it. That's why it's called a mental illness. I hate running into people also with trauma because how well I respond is a complete gamble and I hate having something that feels so piddly control me. It's not like I'm asking for it, like I said, that's why it's called an illness.
I have a hard time seeing my abusers or people associated with my trauma in public too. Anyone who says "get over it," truly cant imagine. How you feel is always valid and I'm proud of you
God bless you!
@@samanthakennedy8761 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
@@bronwynlunn2712 God bless you!
I have PTSD and I have never been in the military. I feel as though many people invalidate it for people who haven't served.
“I’m aware that it doesn’t make sense. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling these things, or doing these things.”
I’m getting this printed on a shirt and wearing it.
Thank you for always being so brave and so vulnerable - we love you so much Molly ✨🥰
I am so happy you’re sharing your experience with us 💕 also I know this is totally NOT the point, but I really love that light sage green color on you, it compliments you so nicely
I have PTSD triggered by hospitals and doctors offices. When I was 5 or 6, I had to go to the ER. I can't remember why but I had to have an IV. Instead of being understanding that this small child is absolutely terrified, this nurse literally held me down and screamed at me while she tried inserting the IV. With me kicking and screaming, she eventually gave up and had someone else do it. Luckily the new nurse was an absolute angel but the damage was already done. My PTSD was only made worse by needing several blood tests a few times a year for several years (thank God I don't need them anymore) and the nurses never believing me or my mom that needles are a huge no-no. It didn't help that my mom is a nurse so all the other nurses assumed her child would be cool with medical things and were never gentle about anything they did. Luckily she isn't afraid to stick up for me and knows how to handle situations like that since she's been a nurse since the 80s. I had so many nurses basically make fun of me for having a panic attack saying it's just a little blood, just wait til you get your period, hahahaha... I've literally had only one medical doctor in my entire life treat me as a human with PTSD. It's incredibly sad because medical stuff fascinates me from hearing all the cool (sometimes really gross) stories my mom would come home with. It's almost a morbid fascination hearing stories from doctors and nurses but anything having to do with me and doctors is NOT okay. I drive for UberEats and one day I realized I can't even take food INTO a hospital without getting the starting signs of a panic attack.
Btw, it was my cousin who took me to the ER that day and had no idea how to handle the situation. She was only like 17 at the time so I don't blame her ONE bit for more or less allowing that evil nurse to do that to me. She's dealt with things too so she completely understands and we're actually really close because of it.
Molly: posts incredibly inspiring story
me : how the heck does she always look like so beautiful
my service dog right next to me: ...wtf
Great genetics
@@bbghoul_x rip :(
@@bbghoul_x yet with my genetics I managed to get a bunch of autoimmune crap :((((((
Thank you so much for talking about the guilt involved in having a trauma or trauma related disorder - not very many do.
Your story has always resonated with me. I have a lot of issues with mental and chronic illness and you inspire me and so many others. Thank you so much.
Those who told you just to get over it and move on. That is disrespectful. Because I work with veterans who has PTSD. And people with PTSD doesn’t just get over it and move on. And I can tell by some of your videos that you do have PTSD. But I cannot tell you how bad or how much do you have it. Because I’m not one who to judge. But I was thinking on your bad days if you can just step like out of yourself for a moment like just focus on your beautiful lavender in your handsome Gallup maybe for a day to see if that helps or maybe you and your mom could just go walk around the neighborhood for a little bit to help you not think about that moment. I’m just giving you some ideas to try to help you out.
I never suffered with depression or PTSD so I cannot tell you how I think it feels or I can’t say oh I can imagine that. Because I can’t. But I know people with PTSD it’s something you just don’t get over. And a lot of people don’t understand that I understand it because I work with veterans at the VA and I have a brother and two nephews that served our country and they have different levels of PTSD so I truly know and understand what PTSD is.
I resonate so much with your story. I was diagnosed at the age of 11 with severe PTSD, Major Depression, and Anxiety. I was only diagnosed because it was a requirement of court during my parents divorce and domestic violence case. We were raised mormon, so we weren't allowed to take "mind alerting medication". I dealt with flash backs and PTSD meltdowns my whole life because of it. At 22, I finally got on medication and was diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease (depression is a symptom). Then, a bunch more chronic pain illnesses and autoimmune diseases. At 24, I got a confirmation diagnosis of Medical PTSD from being a chronic illness patient and having major things go wrong during medical procedures. The most severe incident related to my medical PTSD was waking up during major surgery. The specialist and constant hospital visits is so hard. Now, I'm pregnant and I was still having PTSD/Anxiety attacks before every OB appointment. I ended up switching my OB and it has improved, but I'm terrified of delivering due to everything that has went wrong during procedures.
I've fallen in the 33% of asthma patients who have their asthma get progressively worse though out the pregnancy. I have new heart issues and fainting issues, which my neurologist thinks is residual from having Covid 19 in April 2020.
I really hate that people associate PTSD with Military Service. I think some of that is a hard spot for me, personally. I was in the process of enlisting when I got the Hashimotos diagnosis which instantly disqualified me. It can exist from any traumatic experience and more men tend to be in the military than women, so I think that's it's more associated with men isn't a helpful stigma either. My husband had friends who came out of military service with PTSD, but we had a lot of issues with understanding my PTSD because of the stigmas around it.
Molly, I really related to when you said that you were relieved when you got your diagnosis. I felt the same way when my son was diagnosed with ADHD, Autism, and Anxiety. I felt that he could finally get the services that he needed in school with this diagnosis.
I have generalized anxiety disorder and functional neurological disorder because of it. I have psychogenic seizures instead of panic attacks. I’m in the first year of my diagnoses, and I hope I’m in a better place in 7 years like you Molly ❤️
I just want to say thank you because I also have generalized anxiety disorder and your comment made me curious about FND. I resonate with A LOT of the symptoms and am going to bring it up with my therapist this week. Thank you for the awareness!
@@frostyskeletons8950 I’m glad I could help someone else 😀
Thank you for sharing I have a friend with FND stay strong.
I’m not sure if you’re aware but there is a good organisation called FND hope with lots of resources
@@niamh3225 thank you! 😁
It does make me a bit sad to hear how much time you spend justifying taking medication. I think mental stigma is still so real on that front, because no one would question a diabetic taking insulin to save their life, but people always question taking medication for mental illness...
This video is so beautiful and important. Thank you for sharing your truth.
So many of your symptoms match my own! I have Complex-PTSD and the not being able to eat, 🤢, loss of cognitive processes, fears you know are irrational, etc. I just wish I had been diagnosed younger than 33. Now I am doing trauma-based EMDR therapy to get my 🧠 to actually process my traumas and deal with them.
I know you always spread awareness about the disabled community and that’s amazing but I am really glad that you’re doing more and more mental health videos. People tend to overlook mental health and consider physical health more important, so thanks for taking mental health into account in addition to physical health.
I have social anxiety disorder, clinical depression and ptsd from being raped in 03. Its been a long road and I'm some better now but i go with what i can deal with
I work on ambulances and I just had my second ever blind patient... he also just so happened to have a form of RP, he was really open about talking to me about it and answered all of my agonising questions! He was thrilled to talk to somebody other than a doctor about it as most haven’t a clue what he is talking about! Thank you Molly, you have certainly brought awareness out there and definitely to me to spread the love xx
I wonder if hotels are fine for you because you aren't necessarily going into some else's territory, and therefore you don't have the added anxiety of 'this isn't my place', because it's no one's place. Also hotels are usually very simple, so they aren't difficult to memorize and get used to quickly, whereas everyone's house has their quirks lol ❤️
I am always looking to connect with people who struggle with anxiety, OCD tendencies and other mental health diagnosis’. It is so refreshing to hear you speak on this and see the comments from people who can relate. Makes us all feel less alone and isolated. I especially needed this today as I was suffering from some severe anxiety before clicking on your video. So thank you Molly💜you’re so well spoken and calming to listen to also.
I struggle with many mental health issues upon mental health issues (ASD,PTSD,Panic disorder ect ect ect? so I find this very interesting to watch.
It makes me feel less alone and more normalised and it makes me happy(well not happy that you have to live with them too but the normalisation)
Since I was diagnosed with PTSD and worked as an occupational therapist, I met (and re-met with a different awareness) so many people with mental health problems (patients, colleagues, friends, family) that I actually wonder, if there really are people you would call "normal". 🤔😂
PTSD anxiety and depression all at once is absolutely horrible
When you're talking about "not living" that really resonates with me, my partner suffered a mental breakdown during his autism diagnosis and that's exactly how he felt. Waking up, waiting for that next anxiety attack and then taking a tablet to go to sleep. It took two weeks to get him back to a more "normal" level of eating and many more for life in general but he got there!
As someone who’s been watching you for awhile now and just got diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety and PTSD, this video means a lot to me. Thank you for putting this out there.
The childhood medical experience is so complicated. I have found some doctors expect that as someone who has been in a lot of medical care from a very young age that I'll be some kind of pro and like it's no big deal for me, but yeah the medical trauma is very very real. The minute scheduling doctors appointments was my responsibility instead of my parents, there were no more being scheduled and my mental and physical health has suffered a lot for it. I am slowly improving and getting back on track but it was been such a difficult journey. Just to say i see you. You're story is really powerful, thank you for sharing.
I’m dealing with PTSD from a recent car accident. I feel you Molly, this couldn’t have come out at a better time! It helps hearing you talk about your story, thank you for sharing
you’re not alone .. it will get better with time
@@caleighrussell2700 you are so sweet!!! thank you so much, wishing you well also💗
Withdrawal is very hard, and can take long before your body starts to begin to become “normal” again. I had withdrawal symptoms for easily 6 months. But doctors didn’t believe me
I’m at the point that I’m about to meet a doctor for an official diagnosis of PTSD. I’ve been going to psychologist for a year now and she told me I need more help so seeing psychiatrist would be the best thing for me. I had a childhood where I was neglected emotionally by my parents, later I was abused physically and mentally by my ex boyfriend. I still feel like it’s not a big deal but everything around me was trying to scream at me that wtf this wasn’t normal. 😅 this is how I lived for 10 years until now when I couldn’t handle it anymore. This was mostly reflected on my relationship. Now I’m feeling odd that I’m actually putting myself first and getting some help, crying of having a relief because of blaming myself for years of my behavior. Having this diagnosis will be a huge thing for me; I feel like it will be a turn in my life to a better. Hearing people’s experiences who have to deal with mental illness had given me so much more perspective and the feeling that I’m not alone.
Thank you for being open about this subject. I have ptsd due to recurrent pregnancy losses and I think it’s difficult for people to understand that one moment you can be ok and one moment you are not ok.
I really appreciate when you open up about this. I also struggle to eat w/anxiety and have similar "safe foods." I've never heard someone talk about that before and seem to experience it in the same way I do. So thank you for making me feel understood and valid.
I was in the mental hospital as a teenager, the doctor told my mom he wanted to try Lithium (this was at about noon). 3 hours later she came to visit and I was up and moving and talking. Not cured but strides above where I was. Medication saved me. Thank you for sharing your medication journey and destigmatizing it. I meet people who know nothing about me but want to tell me how my medications are destroying my body and life. Medication does not make you weak
Lithium takes several weeks before it starts working. It takes a minimum of five days for it to reach therapeutic levels in your blood. Our minds are very powerful and if we are convinced that something works, our minds will follow along and produce a placebo effect. The way I see it, it doesn't really matter if it's a placebo effect though because you're still getting relief. It isn't possible for lithium to create an affect in three hours. But your mind sure can, especially an impressionable teenager's mind. I agree that medicine shouldn't be stigmatized just because it is for a psychiatric condition. To me, it's the same as needing a blood pressure medicine or a cholesterol lowering drug.
Thanks I need here this. I had Ptsd And few year in and tonight had a few flashbacks. And cause pian and upset tummy. It stem a car accident. Anyone Ptsd.
Side note, that jacket looks amazing on you!!
I have been Away from Yt for a while and and now when I am back I gots to tell ya girl You are looking more beautifu than ever.
Also I write poetry on insta at @ussayyed.writes
Molly: “Doctors couldn’t show me diagrams”
Me: Uhhh why not??? ....oh nvm
My name is very weird because my parents were meth heads and not what you’re thinking like they were actual meth heads they weren’t just crazy I am when I was about four months old I got taken away because the meth lab exploded and so obviously they found out that my parents did math and I got put into the foster care system my family that I have now adopted me and basically I’m lucky to be alive because my mother was an addict while she was pregnant with me by your mother I don’t consider her my mother and I almost died when I was a baby and they took me in so they’ve been my parents for 17 years and my bio parents were only my parents for four months and I also suffer with ADHD anxiety stress and the worst one of all period Symptoms
Thank you for your openness, I wish you all the best in life, to make up for that hard start. Lots of love from Germany ❤️
@@janalunadottir Thanks
You’re so brave for sharing this with us, Molly! Thank you for sharing💕
I always admire people who do things like this. Opening up is scary and a hard decision to make. It takes a lot of bravery to be able to share things like this publicly.
Hello beautiful humans, I hope you have a great Friday and upcoming weekend. Keep being yourself and know you are valuable and loved.
I don't have PTSD, but am neurodivergent with life-long generalized anxiety, and suicidal depression that hit at puberty. After I went through basically my worst nightmare scenario, I'm shocked I didn't end up with it. I actually asked my therapist at least once if she was sure. I had the same reaction to Zoloft! I took the first dose, and within hours I felt a difference and was like "No way, it's placebo effect etc." When I checked in with my psychiatrist after a month, and half my symptoms were completely gone, I asked if it was normal and yes, it can work that fast. She said it was likely because I had never been on psych meds before.
Whenever you are, up or down, you always deserve the best and to smile when the warm rays of sun touch your skin
Thank you so much for talking about this! I am also a vlogger and in the disabled community and so many of us struggle with PTSD because of medical experiences. I have definitely been afraid to make a video explaining my diagnosis out of fear. But you have inspired me! ❤️
The color and style of your jacket looks amazing on you!! 💕
I have ptsd as well. Not a veteran, but the trauma is real. I really appreciate you being so honest about this. You are such an inspiration, thank you
Me : sees thumbnail
Also me : how is her hair so perfect. Just how????
Ikr 😅
30 minutes of molly? Yes please
I have all the exact same and now chronic illness on top of that. One of the chronic illnesses causes my body to stay in fight or flight mode on top of it so as you can imagine can make my anxiety horrible. Telling our stories can be so helpful to others.
That being said, I want to do speaking on invisible illness, I just don’t know how or where to start.
I have a history of anxiety and ended up with PTSD following an urgent C-spine surgery. It was horrible. I wasn’t diagnosed right away. I suffered with it for over a year before I was diagnosed. I couldn’t even drive by a hospital without it triggering it. And I’m an RN!!! I’m disabled so I was no longer working but oh my gosh. What a long haul back. I have ankylosing Spondylitis so spine issues are lifelong/ it is an autoimmune disease. My spine is attacked as well as other joints and recently I have been having a tremendous amount of pain which is triggering the ptsd again. I would rather die than have another surgery and gosh I have had a ton of them but that one really did me in. I went into an arrest in my room and the worst thing was that I told the nurse “caring” or should I say “uncaring” for me that it was going to happen but she didn’t believe me. Then I woke to the CPR team working on. Me. So that’s it inn a nutshell for me.
For me as an RN I knew what the signs of anxiety attacks were, but while I was in it I was totally unaware. Irrational. Before I was diagnosed I wasn’t aware I was irrational. But the panic would get so bad I was sure I was dying. Shaking out of my skin, pacing the floor. Once diagnosed it was the same as you. I would realize I was being irrational but I couldn’t control it until I went through 3 12 week mindfulness training classes, and a ton of homework building up my ability to drive by a hospital, then park in the parking lot, then taking the sky walk over to the hospital Starbucks and buying a coffee, etc etc. it took months of this. I hated it. But now I can click into my mindfulness right away, except if my pain level is too high and then I’m out of control again, flashbacks etc. ugh. It was hard typing this. For me it was 2015.
That's so sad that you were bullied at sleepovers and didn't have friends who cared to help you around their house with your night blindness. True friends would have had your back and been like, hey, if you need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, or you're thirsty and need a drink of water, say something and we'll help you.
I literally JUST got attacked by a dog and I'm so nervous it's gonna cause me mental health issues. I definitely haven't been sleeping well.
I don't have PTSD but I have a LOT of anxiety in my life, the "I know it's irrational but I can't stop it" is the story of my life.
Hey, just an advice you’re free to follow if you want 💛 From someone who has PTSD. The sooner you act, seek help, the better are your chances of recovering and maybe completely avoid PTSD. If the events are replaying in your head, instead of trying to block them, or chase them away, you can try to accept them, slowly letting your brain know, I am fine. Not every dog will attack me. You can even try to replay the events differently. It’s hard to do, but it can be done. Imagine in your head the dog being kind, just walking around you and being peaceful. When trying to heal from PTSD we try to “reprogram” our brain, because it has made bad associations, exemple dog = danger. I found that avoiding the matter doesn’t help and it gets worse over time. But if worked on from the beginning, the chances of recovery are definitely higher. You can also talk with someone, a friend, family, anyone you trust, talk it out if it helps. Have a good day~
@@wingdraws I appreciate the advice and certainly if I feel things get worse I will seek out help but I don't believe I have PTSD. I can just feel my anxiety flairing up.
I truly believe exposure is the best thing for me right now. Thankfully I live in a 4 dog household and so far the only thing that has made me even slightly nervous was seeing one of our dogs in their crate but I'm working on that. For example I made my dog sleep on the bed with me the 2nd night, he tends to prefer to sleep next to the bed but I had him come up with me. He doesn't look dissimilar to the one that got me. But this has the added benefit of dogs are soothing.
The one of our dogs who is the biggest I've been trying to interact with more. She's also the most likely to do something that scares me. And I've been watching lots of videos of dogs giving warning signals.
This isn't the first time I've been bit but it is my first (and I hope only) attack.
I honestly think I will be okay but Ill know more once I'm out in the world a little bit more.
@@NoThankUBeQuiet From what you are saying I think you are handling the situation pretty well. Exposure is certainly a good idea because like I said, avoiding makes things worse, and these are all good ideas, you are finding the ressources you need to help yourself on your own and that’s really great, and you are also aware of seeking help if ever needed, good job and good luck! Sending you my best wishes
What's really unfortunate is that there is this really great type of therapy called EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) that is used for PTSD and Trauma and is really effective for a lot of people. It's unfortunate because it requires you to be able to see and follow a moving object/finger as part of the therapy, so it's not accessible to a lot of blind people.
There are ways to do emdr without eye movement, such as tapping your thighs.
This was recommended to me but im afraid to do it. I've increasingly needed to do some form of trauma focused therapy for years now but im afraid it will be too painful having to face all of what's happened.
Is emdr upsetting to go through?
@@youalwaysyounever EMDR is upsetting to go through but personally I have found it to be immensely helpful. I feel like you need a therapist who you have a very strong trust relationship with.
It's upsetting in the moment but the purpose of the therapy is that your brain basically processes the event again and doesn't process it as trauma the second time. The therapy also includes a bunch of work to ensure that thinking about the memory again is safe for you. It's hard to explain but there's a lot of work to close out each memory you choose to focus on.
I found that during the actual therapy session it sucked and I had a lot of intense feelings and I would often feel quite tired for the rest of that day, and potentially a bit emotional for the following couple of days however the overall difference was so fast and a dramatic improvement. Once we had finished a memory, thinking about that memory that once brought up intense feelings of panic now feels neutral. It feels like a normal memory instead of reliving the trauma.
The other thing is it's not like that old school talk therapy where you just tell the therapist all about the event in intimate detail and they expect that to somehow help - you don't actually need the therapist to know every single detail of what happened, and the process is focused on changing how you respond to the memory not just reliving trauma.
I would strongly recommend it because I've found it so helpful, but I'm not going to lie, I hate the process of actually doing it. My psych and I usually do 1-2 sessions of EMDR in a row and then 1-2 sessions of regular talk therapy to break it up and just deal with current life stuff.
@@laurahoughton5911 thank you for your reply. I'm glad you found it so helpful. I'm still trying to build the courage to do it, but hearing someone's experience is really helpful. ♡
Molly, I totally understand what PTSD feels like, considering that I also have it. Mine was caused by a car accident from which I was in as a passenger where the motorcyclist we were hit by was killed. I appreciate you talking about how many others beside veterans can experience PTSD.
It was a relief to know about Autism and then PTSD, knowing helped me find out that I actually could not work because no one was prepared to do the things it would take to do so. People do not understand the depths that PTSD can go to in ordinary people.
I will never understand soldiers PTSD, because it is different. However, the PTSD is no less affecting and causes problems in my life.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. As soon as I saw the title I knew it would resonate with me, so I know some of how hard it is and I'm sending all the support and strength to you. ❤️ Thank you for taking the time to be so vulnerable - you're so right that PTSD and trauma in all forms is very stigmatised and misunderstood and people don't realise it can affect them for all sorts of reasons. Hopefully the more awareness we can create, the more people can receive support to deal with their trauma and we can break cycles together.
Ask Molly Burke or ask Molly be official I’ve listened to your audiobook it’s not what it looks like I’m wanting I will say that you have to go through with a gallop and gypsy and I think this is disgusting because I will leave an accessibility and I actually find this disgusting but you have to go true to get transportation in terms of taxi lift or ride and where you will have to hide with your guide dog and for your mum or your friends to talk on your behalf for the driver to accept you or not drive-by when he sees your guide dogs it’s absolutely disgusting and it makes me feel ashamed and appalled and I just it makes me angry for you you’re right to transportation your right to travel is being abused and as an advocate for the Blind and visually impaired in my country of Ireland which I consider myself as it makes me angry for you because your rights are being messed with and that makes me really really mad at the end of the day and not just with you or anyone in the blind community or guide dog users just everybody it makes me mad
I have severe anxiety especially social n medical...so i totally understand.. ty for talking bout mental health.. I'm seeking more help..
I love ur whole vibe today! The grey/green jumper and the blonde ponytail, it’s so nice
You are so right. PTSD is a very real thing that so very many people live with, many suffering in silence. Veterans just happen to be the largest single category of people living with this disability, and most certainly the most well known by the public at large. There are SOOO MANY more people living with PTSD than just veterans.
And thank you for this. Highly helpful in so very many ways. Helpful to understand other symptoms some people have living with PTSD, and beneficial for so many to recognize there is more to one diagnosis than just one category of people. You are one seriously AMAZING person Molly. You deserve EVERY good thing in life. Hoping Adrian is able to join you in Canada soon.
Molly you are amazing with a beautiful nice sweet personality and you have a huge heart. Thank you for inspiring so many of us
I have CPTSD from child abuse and a traumatic incident where I was attacked in college. I was never able to take time off and had to keep going. My parents are still emotionally abusive but because I’m also physically disabled(EDS) I have to rely on family. It sucks I have been just surviving.
Unrelated, but RUclips added the feature to add separate audio tracks. This allows people to post one video and add audio description, or put it in a different language. That's crazy! I know Molly had been wanting this feature and I just wanted to let you guys know it is there.
Where is this feature I wanna find it because I’m blind/visually impaired and wanting I wish RUclips would have a third videos and all videos is all your description so you know if I can where do you find this feature tell me because I need it please I need that feature it will change my life on this channel on the same platform
We support you no matter what! You are a queen through it all. ❤️💁🏼♀️👸🏼👑✨
I have anxiety with OCD tendencies. Love your mental health talks 🤟🏻🦮
I have also suffered through severe PTSD, and even though I have spent years in therapy, and I do not live my life enmeshed in that trauma anymore, sometimes, out of nowhere, I still get blindsided by a memory that can bring up a physical or psychological reaction. The difference now is that they are not as intense, and I have tools to help me through those times now.
The most important thing I have learned about those who are judgmental or think I need to 'just let it go and move on.... it was a long time go' is to remind myself of this simple mantra....
"Those that matter, don't judge. And those who judge? Don't matter."
Molly, I love your videos, and I have a favor to ask. Could you get a microphone? In your videos is a constant noise in the background, and I think it might be because you have to scale your volume up because you film with the phone sitting realtively far away from you. Or maybe it's just your fridge or something and you can't do anything about it.. :D
Yes! The way I explained this to people is 'Yes I'm logical, but I can't out logic my emotions right now'
Thank you for this. I have GAD, and it's such a misunderstood disorder. I also experienced that positive feeling with having a diagnosis, like there was a reason my mind was different and not making sense. And yeah, there's so much physicality to it. I have all those same safe foods, and I get chills, compulsively wash my hands and touch my hair, and have had periods of screaming/crying that last many hours just from feeling so overwhelmed that there's nothing else to do. It's good to hear you're doing better now, and as you say, it's a process and a journey.
15:31 - I'm exactly the same with my anxiety. I've always felt nausea when I was experiencing anxiety ever since I was a child, but it's only gotten worse with age. Nowadays when I have a full blown panic attack, I know that as soon as I start hyperventilating that if I don't stop soon, it'll end up with me throwing up everywhere.
Edit: which sucks - for obvious reasons - but now when I get sick from the flu or food poisoning and it makes me throw up, I end up having a panic attack because of it. And so the vicious cycle continues.
I have ptsd from being bullied online and had a subscriber attempt to coerce me in 2008 and witnessed another youtuber being blackmailed and humiliated online on youtube back in 2009 and was bullied at an open mic night in 2018 which triggered me because it reminded me of the experience online in 2008. I experienced emotional flashbacks and had a freeze response and it was humiliating in 2018 as that experience was in public which felt much worse than just an online experience.
I suspect people with disabilities tend to experience trauma due to the way they cope with their capabilities. Always compensating, doing things differently than the way the brain is wired. For example I have Autism I have sensory issues so it takes extra effort to block out noise. Thus I’m always hyper focused because I have to intentionally focus on blocking out the sound or light
and I am constantly in flight or fight mood more often than not. I tend to hold on to negative experience more strongly as a survival mechanism.
Your curtain bangs look so good!!😫😍
I appreciate you more than I can say for opening up and being honest about your experiences and helping make this topic more and more of a normal conversation 💜🐝
Thank you so much for talking about this! You are such a strong person for talking about this. I just recently started opening up about my PTSD as well and I noticed that it made me feel so much better. I still am not fully able to talk about the cause of my PTSD. Thank you for sharing your story🥰
Developed ptsd from 15 years of police work. Very brave for you to try and describe what it feels like. My healing really started about 4 years ago when i got sober from alcohol.
Hey Molly!
My name is Rhianna. I’m 21 years old and I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD as well. Thank you for sharing your story and being vulnerable! I went through this traumatic experience when I was 19. It caused me to have extreme depression. It has greatly affected my sleep. When it happened, I would have extremely vivid nightmares and often they were related to my trauma. I couldn’t shower (the bathroom was a big part in my trauma and had become the worst trigger and is still triggering). I had to take a semester off college and move back home and drop out of college because I had also developed an eating disorder (now I know it was anorexia nervosa). I was no longer safe to be left alone and I really did and still do need inpatient treatment or a more intense treatment, unfortunately it’s very complicated with finances, so I haven’t. I also started medication at that point. I wanted to try meds in high school for my depression and anxiety, but my mother wouldn’t allow me to. Medication helped some, but I’m still working on finding the right medication since the medication isn’t working or stops working after a while. There were many, many other symptoms that I experienced back then. Now it’s probably almost 2 years later and I’m still struggling with my PTSD and depression, anxiety, and anorexia. Lately I’ve been dealing with flashbacks multiple times a day which cause me to disassociate. When I don’t disassociate, I get nauseous and sick. When I drive a car or am in a car, which is a big part of life, I have anxiety and panic attacks. Sometimes I know why and sometimes I don’t. It’s made it so very difficult to drive myself places because I get very triggered and distracted constantly. There a many situations that I know will come up in the future. Like going to hospitals for check ups and other stuff, which I know will be triggering and many other things that I’m dreading. PTSD is such a difficult diagnosis to deal with. I have been wondering for a long time, why I can’t just be normal and be able to mentally handle things better. Listening to your story has made me feel less alone and I relate to a lot of what you went through. Especially, hearing about how you started your RUclips channel because you couldn’t public speak. I find that SO inspiring. I’m an artist and creating in certain ways is difficult or impossible sometimes. So I am inspired by you to try new forms of creativity! I also want to share my experiences and give other people support and hope so that they don’t feel as alone as I did. I’ve been thinking of doing videos and posting them on Instagram or RUclips for a while and I just don’t know how to and where to start, but I might give it a try soon. Thank you so much again!!! I’m so proud of you!!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have not been formally diagnosed with PTSD, but I have many of the symptoms and I am pretty sure that I have it. I have struggled a lot with it and there have been many times that I have felt that my brain is broken. Your story helps me remember that I am not alone and things can and will get better. Also, you helped me learn that my extreme nausea when anxious and stressed could be from my PTSD. I've had so many texts and everything has always come back normal. It's nice to finally have a possible answer. Thank you so much again.
I know in your video you didn't seem to really talk about the first traumatic accident that you had. I'm definitely very sorry that you went through that and later on the second one what you talk about more in this video. I can truly never understand what you went through but I'm sure that you're getting stronger every day. It was definitely nice to see that you kept in the fight of getting better and are here where you are today. Thank you for sharing to those who don't know so we can understand.
i also have OCD and PTSD it sucks but knowing someone you look up to deals with it makes it a little less lonely thank you for sharing your story and sorry that happened as well I also understand the guilt and all that's stuff
I think I have cptsd and I can't wait for your metal health journey video to come out. I've been trying to have better routines and taking care of myself more but it's so hard. The next step is finding a therapist I connect with and possibly getting a diagnosis.